So what do you think? Please respect others' opinions.
Some folks (the same folks I believe that believed that we would never get hijabs in the game do to a certain symbolism) thought that the option of having more then one spouse could turn the game into M-rated thing. So either they realize how common it still is in some countries, or they notice how popular it is with a certain Mod's extra function? I mean how many spouses are we talking about only 2 or more? Since if it's more then 2, I can see why in real life it would be a problem *cough* thinking of a certain story in the texts *cough* well the main spouse favours one of their extra spouse over one of the other ones?
You mentioned the "hijab" which opened the door to Islamic traditions and Islam as a faith. Without delving into the faith itself, I as a Muslim male have the right to marry up to 4 women at once. But it is best to marry only one to favor 1 over the other 3. That being said, I would welcome the ability to marry more than 1 woman, or have more than one wife just to see if I would favor 1 over the other 3 in the game but never would I have more than 1 wife IRL.
That's a very insightful way to put it. It also eloquently states my point. Jealousy and favoritism would become too much of an issue in my opinion. Thank you for sharing.
That's a very insightful way to put it. It also eloquently states my point. Jealousy and favoritism would become too much of an issue in my opinion. Thank you for sharing.
But you are projecting "who you are" onto the rest of the world by saying "no one should do it". It works perfectly fine for some people.
I mean, my irl view on marriage as a whole is that the entire institution of marriage is a problem. Regardless of whether it is monogamous or polygamous. For most, it's a romanticized way of "owning" aspects of another person. I'm way too independent to support that, in any way.
But in the Sims, I love weddings and I'm looking forward to the next pack more than I have almost any other pack the game has gotten. The game is not real life. Adding more options for how marriages are structured is nothing but a positive thing for the game.
Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.
Stealing is illegal too and we have a whole trait surrounding that. But I wouldn't say polygamy and stealing are the same thing morally. Just answering your question.
Your point is well taken. However, kleptomania is, to my understanding, still considered a disability, disorder, or illness by the medical community. It is a compulsion that cannot be controlled without treatment. Polygamy does not fall into that category.
Correct stealing has a victim(s) who did not consent. If polygamy is done right and all involved has to consent. Polygamy like all marriages only has willing victims. Stealing is universally harmful and thus those who are compelled to do so are mentally ill like a drug addict. Those who are polyamorous, their activities are only harmful if not everyone agrees to it like cheaters. I know of a couple who have an open relationship and are happy. They have a mutual girlfriend and wish they could marry her. They live down the street and aren't harming a soul. Can you say that about a thief?
So what do you think? Please respect others' opinions.
Some folks (the same folks I believe that believed that we would never get hijabs in the game do to a certain symbolism) thought that the option of having more then one spouse could turn the game into M-rated thing. So either they realize how common it still is in some countries, or they notice how popular it is with a certain Mod's extra function? I mean how many spouses are we talking about only 2 or more? Since if it's more then 2, I can see why in real life it would be a problem *cough* thinking of a certain story in the texts *cough* well the main spouse favours one of their extra spouse over one of the other ones?
You mentioned the "hijab" which opened the door to Islamic traditions and Islam as a faith. Without delving into the faith itself, I as a Muslim male have the right to marry up to 4 women at once. But it is best to marry only one to favor 1 over the other 3. That being said, I would welcome the ability to marry more than 1 woman, or have more than one wife just to see if I would favor 1 over the other 3 in the game but never would I have more than 1 wife IRL.
I wasn't trying to mention anything about the R word so I used the term symbolism instead But I know what you mean because whenever people bring up this subject, I always think of a certain people in certain symbolic texts (the older siblings of your text in a sense)-about the favourism word.
But some people whom were against this (or at least I might be getting it confused with AM words)-claimed for away that "hijabs would never be in the game because it's too "symbolic" of something". (But twice in my game and in my SimLit, once in a daycare, and another in a backflash, a extra character was married to more then 1 spouse)
That's a very insightful way to put it. It also eloquently states my point. Jealousy and favoritism would become too much of an issue in my opinion. Thank you for sharing.
But you are projecting "who you are" onto the rest of the world by saying "no one should do it". It works perfectly fine for some people.
I mean, my irl view on marriage as a whole is that the entire institution of marriage is a problem. Regardless of whether it is monogamous or polygamous. For most, it's a romanticized way of "owning" aspects of another person. I'm way too independent to support that, in any way.
But in the Sims, I love weddings and I'm looking forward to the next pack more than I have almost any other pack the game has gotten. The game is not real life. Adding more options for how marriages are structured is nothing but a positive thing for the game.
I don't believe I said definitively that it shouldn't be. I simply stated my view on it. If I did say that you should not be allowed to be in such a relationship, I apologize. However, my feeling on it doesn't change.
As far as "owning" anyone, that's how marriage has been twisted. A point of a marriage is to voluntarily be a part of something bigger than the individual. If a person in a marriage believes that they own any part of their partner then they are in a dysfunctional relationship in my opinion. Again, my opinion and not meant to be a forced lifestyle on you or anyone else.
If the person that I married decided he/she wanted another spouse as well. I would wish them the best and leave the relationship so they could fulfill that desire.
You've hit the nail on the head, @PenguinFoop, the "problems", or dysfunctionality, with marriage, be it polygamy or monogomy, are all about issues with the nature and personality of individuals, not the concept itself.
Your reasons for your own opinion against polygamy is no different than the characteristics of those individuals you state as twisting a monogomous marriage. The only real difference is that more people share yours.
Hm. I'd like it just to be able to mess around with it. Some people do truly live and believe polyamory, but I do not share that unshakable self confidence.
I understand the concerns for bugs going forward, but that is how I feel about neighborhood stories/story progression and I am not going go after it because many people enjoy it.
You've hit the nail on the head, @PenguinFoop, the "problems", or dysfunctionality, with marriage, be it polygamy or monogomy, are all about issues with the nature and personality of individuals, not the concept itself.
Your reasons for your own opinion against polygamy is no different than the characteristics of those individuals you state as twisting a monogomous marriage. The only real difference is that more people share yours.
Care to elaborate?
So believing differently than a polygamous makes me "twisted?" What part of what I said? In fact, what I said is that I won't be a part of a polygamous relationship. I did not say that I would be in a relationship where I believe I "own" anyone.
First you accuse me of saying something I didn't say and now you're accusing me of being twisted because I don't personally agree with polygamy. It's beginning to sound as if you are the one that is trying to force a lifestyle choice on others, not me.
If I'm wrong, then please accept my apology and show me how I'm wrong. However, please do not mischaracterize me.
You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I'm saying that in both cases it is the individuals and their nature which create the dysfunctionality, not the concept of the marriage in the first place.
Your reasons for being against polygamy is as much about creating a dysfunctional relationship as the people whom you indicate twist a monogamous marriage and make it dysfunctional. I'm in no way saying you are twisted for being that way. Twisting was your word, not mine.
I just happen to think people are people, and we're all different. Hence why some things work for some and not for others.
You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. I'm saying that in both cases it is the individuals and their nature which create the dysfunctionality, not the concept of the marriage in the first place.
Your reasons for being against polygamy is as much about creating a dysfunctional relationship as the people whom you indicate twist a monogamous marriage and make it dysfunctional. I'm in no way saying you are twisted for being that way. Twisting was your word, not mine.
I just happen to think people are people, and we're all different. Hence why some things work for some and not for others.
How is being in a mutualy consenting monogamous relationship where neither side believes that they own or are owned by another dysfunctional? If a polygamous relationship is fully consenting and everyone is happy then good for them. I never said otherwise. What I did say is that there is more of a chance of it becoming a dysfunctional jealous heap of chaos when more people are involved.
I also never said that no one should be allowed to do it.
I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.
And there are cultures where it is not just not taboo, but normal. If the game is about being inclusive, then they should support it and not support the bigotry of those who are offended by things that are different from their beliefs.
While I agree with this, polyamory and polygamy haven’t reached the tipping point that other movements for inclusivity have. Some of the sims team may want to add those options but I believe EA would ultimately veto it because it would alienate a larger portion of the player base than they would want.
As someone who is married I have to honestly say I would be disappointed if sims team goes this way. I understand everyone has their own beliefs or whatever but I don’t agree with it in real life & would never want that in my game. I don’t think it’s ok to be married with more then 1 person as it’s morally wrong (in my perspective) no matter how you want to sugarcoat it. Even if it’s optional, I don’t think it’s a good look for the sims to basically make it seem like it’s okay for you to be with more then 1 person. I don’t think we should be normalizing something like that. I already dislike how it’s being portrayed nowadays in some shows. I don’t want to see it in game.
This is my reason why I have been highly against the sims going the route of being more “inclusive” & focusing more on representation. Because if it’s not one thing it’s another. Who knows what will be asked to be included next. I play the sims to escape reality & real world issues but it’s like more of it is being added to the game. What happened to having games just be games? At this point I’m tired & frustrated with this woke era.
There was an historic Israel King named David that had 4 wives. The wives actually got along with each other & had no problems sharing their husband with each other.
There was an historic Israel King named David that had 4 wives. The wives actually got along with each other & had no problems sharing their husband with each other.
While you are correct that he had (not 4 but 5) wives, he favored Bathsheba over all the others and while the historic records that I know of do not say that the wives were distraught over this arrangement, it must be noted too that at the time, women were not entitled to an opinion. Some husbands allowed it but others did not. There are also many other records that show the very opposite. Abraham and Sarah with Tamar as having been given to Abraham by Sarah as a wife to give him the children Sarah could not. It took exactly no time for Sarah to become jealous and envious of Tamar. Which led to Abraham having to choose against the two women. That is one example that counters the one you used.
If the person that I married decided he/she wanted another spouse as well. I would wish them the best and leave the relationship so they could fulfill that desire.
The difference between this and consensual polygamy (even consensual polyamory) is that in the example above you entered an agreement with one person, who then tried to change that agreement without consulting you. This is like a breach of contract in law terms.
If a person takes a (or several) consenting partner(s)/spouse(s), then takes (an) additional partner(s)/spouse(s) with knowledge by, but without the consent of existing one(s), this is a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
If a person takes on an additional partner/spouse without knowledge (and by default, also consent) by the existing partner(s)/spouse(s), this is again a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
However...
If a couple find themselves interested in a third party, discuss it together, then discuss with the third party and that third party joins in the relationship, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If 3 single people meet, hook up casually and then decide to stay as a throuple, this is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If a person is involved with 2 others, who know of each other but only have a platonic relationship between them and the two partners don't mind (or actively enjoy) sharing the same partner, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
Now on to how to do this in game and make everyone happy:
We would need two separate toggles (checkboxes, not radio buttons) to allow polyamory:
Consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners with consent from existng partner(s)).
Non-consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners without consent, cheating) - Note: Player initiated always allowed.
And a third toggle to allow or disallow poly marriage.
With these options you could:
Disallow consensual poly relationships. Disallow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Disallow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Disallow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Allow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Allow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Disallow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Allow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
This way everyone is covered, and it also resolves the accidental cheating when Flirty and in group chats.
It's funny how serious this thread is about the option to simply remove the limit on marriages so one can do it again and again. I play with a certain mod and honestly? It's like having extra roommates you woohoo with, who also happen to be your best friends. Everything else is up to your imagination. Drama? You. Cohesion? You. They aren't about to make the game any more individualistic, so the finer details are all you. I mean there isn't a benefit to marriage in-game (beyond the "Companion" trait, and a tiny increase to loyalty in some cases), so it's essentially having the "Player" trait and asking multiple sims to be your significant others, save that they get re-labelled as "spouses". Don't want multiple spouses? Don't marry more than one. You'd never even realise the option was there unless they said something (or you tried it). Much like some simmers still sell and buy beds instead of simply upgrading the ones they have.
Check out my 'Simming Tips' for detailed tips and tricks (TS4).
I mean in many cultures, religions, etc. lgbtq relationships are taboo but that didn't stop the very first sims game from supporting that.
In some cultures LGBTQ relationships are taboo but having several wives is normal. Hope if they bring this to the game, that sims will be able to have several houses to live in with the different spouse. Just in case they don't know about the other spouses or don't like them and don't get along in the same house.
The way it is now, you can switch your sim around to different houses. I do that with grand children sometimes so they can spend quality time with their grandparents.
Frankly, I don't care anymore. Go ahead and add it and add arranged marriages as well.
The marriages in the game already are arranged in most people's games. "The Watcher" is making the decision, not the Sims.
No, arranged marriages in the game would be something like where another sim could arrange if two sims marry without the player controlling them. Those two sims never say "I do".
But it doesn't matter, my point was that it's a controversial subject, and we keep adding things like this to the sims for the sake of being inclusive.
And I honestly don't care anymore.
Can I just add my two cents here? When I pretend to have arranged marriage in the game, its SOO annoying that I have to cheat the couple's friendship and romantic relationship up to 100% just for one of them to propose, and then having to cheat them back down a bit. I mean couldn't we have an option to propose at a very low level, or 0%? Depending on what I'm pretending?
I only know a couple of people who have had arranged marriages, but these people knew their future spouse for a long time, so we’re already friends, and developed romantic feelings for their future spouses. The people I know were not forced to marry their arranged partner and they have had brothers and sisters who decided not to opt for the arranged marriage.
It's sad how much poly relationships are not accepted even in the I’msims community
As if the Sims community are all forced to share the same ideas and values.
Lol, there are a lot of types of relationships that I don’t accept. That doesn’t mean I don’t think other people should have the right to be in them, or to form their own opinion. It’s rather like religion, I believe a certain way, but I also have friends that believe in other religions. We all have our right to our beliefs, but we shouldn’t force them on others. By the same token I play my sims one way, and another plays theirs their way.
Comments
That's a very insightful way to put it. It also eloquently states my point. Jealousy and favoritism would become too much of an issue in my opinion. Thank you for sharing.
But you are projecting "who you are" onto the rest of the world by saying "no one should do it". It works perfectly fine for some people.
I mean, my irl view on marriage as a whole is that the entire institution of marriage is a problem. Regardless of whether it is monogamous or polygamous. For most, it's a romanticized way of "owning" aspects of another person. I'm way too independent to support that, in any way.
But in the Sims, I love weddings and I'm looking forward to the next pack more than I have almost any other pack the game has gotten. The game is not real life. Adding more options for how marriages are structured is nothing but a positive thing for the game.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
Correct stealing has a victim(s) who did not consent. If polygamy is done right and all involved has to consent. Polygamy like all marriages only has willing victims. Stealing is universally harmful and thus those who are compelled to do so are mentally ill like a drug addict. Those who are polyamorous, their activities are only harmful if not everyone agrees to it like cheaters. I know of a couple who have an open relationship and are happy. They have a mutual girlfriend and wish they could marry her. They live down the street and aren't harming a soul. Can you say that about a thief?
I wasn't trying to mention anything about the R word so I used the term symbolism instead But I know what you mean because whenever people bring up this subject, I always think of a certain people in certain symbolic texts (the older siblings of your text in a sense)-about the favourism word.
But some people whom were against this (or at least I might be getting it confused with AM words)-claimed for away that "hijabs would never be in the game because it's too "symbolic" of something". (But twice in my game and in my SimLit, once in a daycare, and another in a backflash, a extra character was married to more then 1 spouse)
I don't believe I said definitively that it shouldn't be. I simply stated my view on it. If I did say that you should not be allowed to be in such a relationship, I apologize. However, my feeling on it doesn't change.
As far as "owning" anyone, that's how marriage has been twisted. A point of a marriage is to voluntarily be a part of something bigger than the individual. If a person in a marriage believes that they own any part of their partner then they are in a dysfunctional relationship in my opinion. Again, my opinion and not meant to be a forced lifestyle on you or anyone else.
If the person that I married decided he/she wanted another spouse as well. I would wish them the best and leave the relationship so they could fulfill that desire.
Your reasons for your own opinion against polygamy is no different than the characteristics of those individuals you state as twisting a monogomous marriage. The only real difference is that more people share yours.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
I understand the concerns for bugs going forward, but that is how I feel about neighborhood stories/story progression and I am not going go after it because many people enjoy it.
Care to elaborate?
So believing differently than a polygamous makes me "twisted?" What part of what I said? In fact, what I said is that I won't be a part of a polygamous relationship. I did not say that I would be in a relationship where I believe I "own" anyone.
First you accuse me of saying something I didn't say and now you're accusing me of being twisted because I don't personally agree with polygamy. It's beginning to sound as if you are the one that is trying to force a lifestyle choice on others, not me.
If I'm wrong, then please accept my apology and show me how I'm wrong. However, please do not mischaracterize me.
Your reasons for being against polygamy is as much about creating a dysfunctional relationship as the people whom you indicate twist a monogamous marriage and make it dysfunctional. I'm in no way saying you are twisted for being that way. Twisting was your word, not mine.
I just happen to think people are people, and we're all different. Hence why some things work for some and not for others.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
edit: what is up with that space again. please can anyone tell me how to stop that from happening?
How is being in a mutualy consenting monogamous relationship where neither side believes that they own or are owned by another dysfunctional? If a polygamous relationship is fully consenting and everyone is happy then good for them. I never said otherwise. What I did say is that there is more of a chance of it becoming a dysfunctional jealous heap of chaos when more people are involved.
I also never said that no one should be allowed to do it.
The sims community are not a unified group of people who all agree on everything. They are people, and people have different opinions.
While I agree with this, polyamory and polygamy haven’t reached the tipping point that other movements for inclusivity have. Some of the sims team may want to add those options but I believe EA would ultimately veto it because it would alienate a larger portion of the player base than they would want.
Personality,depth,humor,consequences,lore,customization.
This is my reason why I have been highly against the sims going the route of being more “inclusive” & focusing more on representation. Because if it’s not one thing it’s another. Who knows what will be asked to be included next. I play the sims to escape reality & real world issues but it’s like more of it is being added to the game. What happened to having games just be games? At this point I’m tired & frustrated with this woke era.
While you are correct that he had (not 4 but 5) wives, he favored Bathsheba over all the others and while the historic records that I know of do not say that the wives were distraught over this arrangement, it must be noted too that at the time, women were not entitled to an opinion. Some husbands allowed it but others did not. There are also many other records that show the very opposite. Abraham and Sarah with Tamar as having been given to Abraham by Sarah as a wife to give him the children Sarah could not. It took exactly no time for Sarah to become jealous and envious of Tamar. Which led to Abraham having to choose against the two women. That is one example that counters the one you used.
I may be wrong about Tamar being her name though.
The difference between this and consensual polygamy (even consensual polyamory) is that in the example above you entered an agreement with one person, who then tried to change that agreement without consulting you. This is like a breach of contract in law terms.
If a person takes a (or several) consenting partner(s)/spouse(s), then takes (an) additional partner(s)/spouse(s) with knowledge by, but without the consent of existing one(s), this is a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
If a person takes on an additional partner/spouse without knowledge (and by default, also consent) by the existing partner(s)/spouse(s), this is again a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
However...
If a couple find themselves interested in a third party, discuss it together, then discuss with the third party and that third party joins in the relationship, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If 3 single people meet, hook up casually and then decide to stay as a throuple, this is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If a person is involved with 2 others, who know of each other but only have a platonic relationship between them and the two partners don't mind (or actively enjoy) sharing the same partner, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
Now on to how to do this in game and make everyone happy:
We would need two separate toggles (checkboxes, not radio buttons) to allow polyamory:
- Consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners with consent from existng partner(s)).
- Non-consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners without consent, cheating) - Note: Player initiated always allowed.
And a third toggle to allow or disallow poly marriage.With these options you could:
This way everyone is covered, and it also resolves the accidental cheating when Flirty and in group chats.
The way it is now, you can switch your sim around to different houses. I do that with grand children sometimes so they can spend quality time with their grandparents.
I only know a couple of people who have had arranged marriages, but these people knew their future spouse for a long time, so we’re already friends, and developed romantic feelings for their future spouses. The people I know were not forced to marry their arranged partner and they have had brothers and sisters who decided not to opt for the arranged marriage.
Lol, there are a lot of types of relationships that I don’t accept. That doesn’t mean I don’t think other people should have the right to be in them, or to form their own opinion. It’s rather like religion, I believe a certain way, but I also have friends that believe in other religions. We all have our right to our beliefs, but we shouldn’t force them on others. By the same token I play my sims one way, and another plays theirs their way.
Edit: Found it.