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Should Having Multiple Spouses Be an Option?

Comments

  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,464 Member
    edited February 10
    Gordy wrote: »
    The Free Love NAP already allows for polyamorous relationships, so it's like w/e

    Yeah but there's a pretty big difference between only having polyamorous relationships vs. Polygamy which means marrying more then one person at the same time which is what this is hinting at



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  • talongirl6talongirl6 Posts: 178 Member
    I don't know if I would personally be comfortable with it, but if other people want it then it could be interesting for them to add to the game. I would want it to be completely optional though, as in something that can be toggled on or off in the game options. That way everyone can have what they want in the game. I might be willing to try it out with a few Sims, but I typically prefer for my characters to only have one spouse, so I would want the ability to only have it active on certain save files. I also wouldn't want to see random NPCs suddenly all getting married to each other because that could get confusing, especially when trying to figure out who is related to who.

    Hopefully if it does get added, they would do something to make it a toggle and to have it not be confusing!
  • VeeDubVeeDub Posts: 1,862 Member
    I'd be down for it. I already have several polyamorous relationships in my game, but of course I have to use mods to make them work. Some are meant to be relatively casual in nature, but others are long-term, quite serious and committed within a particular group. It would be great if they could have official recognition as "married" in the game for those, but if not, that doesn't change their essential stories for me.

    I think the biggest hurdle (besides various personal moral/religious beliefs) in implementation might be the widely misunderstood terminology behind the concepts. For example, polyamory isn't just another term for polygamy (and the terms aren't truly interchangeable even when they both describe a relationship at the same time), but a lot of people seem not to realize that. Both aren't necessarily any more "Adult-rated" than any other relationship type, either. Anyway, I doubt it'll happen in this game, but I'd be glad for it if it did.
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  • LJKLJK Posts: 203 Member
    edited February 10
    Monet11 wrote: »
    Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.

    You can break into people's homes in the Sims 4 and sabotage their electronics, plumbing, and steal their belongings. As a vampire, feeding on them is assault. An alien abducting and impregnating you is also assault. An action being in a videogame does not mean the videogame "promotes" it in real life.

    Not that you were saying this, but we must take caution in attempting to use arguments based in real life for what should and shouldn't be in a simulator.
    Post edited by LJK on
  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,464 Member
    VeeDub wrote: »
    I'd be down for it. I already have several polyamorous relationships in my game, but of course I have to use mods to make them work. Some are meant to be relatively casual in nature, but others are long-term, quite serious and committed within a particular group. It would be great if they could have official recognition as "married" in the game for those, but if not, that doesn't change their essential stories for me.

    I think the biggest hurdle (besides various personal moral/religious beliefs) in implementation might be the widely misunderstood terminology behind the concepts. For example, polyamory isn't just another term for polygamy (and the terms aren't truly interchangeable even when they both describe a relationship at the same time), but a lot of people seem not to realize that. Both aren't necessarily any more "Adult-rated" than any other relationship type, either. Anyway, I doubt it'll happen in this game, but I'd be glad for it if it did.

    as someone said with NAPs w/ Eco Living you can have "an open relationship" with multiple sims? So that has already been deemed "T" for teen.
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  • DaWaterRatDaWaterRat Posts: 3,135 Member
    MadameLee wrote: »
    DaWaterRat wrote: »
    For me, it really depends on how it's handled. I'd probably be okay with it if it required getting the okay from all sims involved. I'd be less okay (adapting an "it would be better as a mod" stance) if a sim could have multiple independent families that don't know about each other, but I can still see value in that for drama's sake.
    Situations where the original spouse(s) don't get input and they are all expected to live in the same house with each other would make me actively uncomfortable.

    For the record, while I'm not poly, I know people who are, and everyone involved in those relationships are on the same page.

    um I think you're confusing Polygamy (which is more then one spouse) with Polyamory (which means an "open relationship" sometimes three-way relation, or sometimes an "open relationship" and the couple see other people. Since when people talk about people being poly they generally mean the latter instead, of the former because of the whole "it's not legal" thing.

    Even though my Dad has said when he worked the border he would see men bringing two full grown women in (sometimes with kids in the car) and if kids talk one of the two women was always called "aunt". But dad supsects the said "aunt" was the man's other spouse.

    No, actually I'm answering the title question, which was about multiple spouses. There are several ways that can happen.

    I'd be fine with modern Polyamory in the sims, though I have known one or two people involved in what they thought were Polyamorous relationships but someone involved didn't get the memo (or thought that they were the "special" one who got to have multiples while everyone else was to remain monogamous to them) and I'd rather not see that added to the game.

    However, I'd be reluctantly okay with Polygamy (multiple wives)/Polyandry (multiple husbands) in the Drama sense, where one person has multiple spouses who may or may not know about each other. (For an example of one where they would know, there were cultures where certain trading concerns were owned and managed by a woman and the traders were her husbands)

    I would not be okay with Polygamy/Polyandry in the sense where one person has multiple spouses and the spouses don't get a say but have to live together in the same household.
  • LJKLJK Posts: 203 Member
    I'm down for it too. I do polygamous relationships in my game often, so non-modded support of it would be welcome.
  • VeeDubVeeDub Posts: 1,862 Member
    MadameLee wrote: »
    VeeDub wrote: »
    I'd be down for it. I already have several polyamorous relationships in my game, but of course I have to use mods to make them work. Some are meant to be relatively casual in nature, but others are long-term, quite serious and committed within a particular group. It would be great if they could have official recognition as "married" in the game for those, but if not, that doesn't change their essential stories for me.

    I think the biggest hurdle (besides various personal moral/religious beliefs) in implementation might be the widely misunderstood terminology behind the concepts. For example, polyamory isn't just another term for polygamy (and the terms aren't truly interchangeable even when they both describe a relationship at the same time), but a lot of people seem not to realize that. Both aren't necessarily any more "Adult-rated" than any other relationship type, either. Anyway, I doubt it'll happen in this game, but I'd be glad for it if it did.

    as someone said with NAPs w/ Eco Living you can have "an open relationship" with multiple sims? So that has already been deemed "T" for teen.

    Well, I'd personally just call that casual hookups, not anything of depth enough to call a "relationship." :grin: But yeah, if that sort of thing is allowed, it would seem logical that actual poly relationships would also be allowed. Sometimes I don't find a lot of logic in this game, though, to be honest. :lol:
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  • Monet11Monet11 Posts: 1,080 Member
    LJK wrote: »
    Monet11 wrote: »
    Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.

    You can break into people's homes in the Sims 4 and sabotage their electronics, plumbing, and steal their belongings. As a vampire, feeding on them is assault. An alien abducting and impregnating you is also assault. An action being in a videogame does not mean the videogame "promotes" it in real life.

    As always, we must take caution in attempting to use arguments based in real life for what should and shouldn't be in a simulator.

    You incorrectly assumed I was making any argument at all. I merely asked a question that I had.
  • logionlogion Posts: 4,351 Member
    edited February 10
    Monet11 wrote: »
    Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.

    I think it's fine for a teen rated game... there are teen rated shooters, like Apex Legends. But the issue is as you said that almost every feature in The Sims 4 these days are promoted and causes discussions everywhere.

    I personally feel when it comes to things like this that the people who really want it, probably already have it in their game with the help of mods (unless you play the game on console).

    I'm not against it...I just feel. Is it really worth it?

    I feel like we are stepping into weird discussions like, should a sim be able to marry their cousin and things like that?
  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,464 Member
    DaWaterRat wrote: »
    MadameLee wrote: »
    DaWaterRat wrote: »
    For me, it really depends on how it's handled. I'd probably be okay with it if it required getting the okay from all sims involved. I'd be less okay (adapting an "it would be better as a mod" stance) if a sim could have multiple independent families that don't know about each other, but I can still see value in that for drama's sake.
    Situations where the original spouse(s) don't get input and they are all expected to live in the same house with each other would make me actively uncomfortable.

    For the record, while I'm not poly, I know people who are, and everyone involved in those relationships are on the same page.

    um I think you're confusing Polygamy (which is more then one spouse) with Polyamory (which means an "open relationship" sometimes three-way relation, or sometimes an "open relationship" and the couple see other people. Since when people talk about people being poly they generally mean the latter instead, of the former because of the whole "it's not legal" thing.

    Even though my Dad has said when he worked the border he would see men bringing two full grown women in (sometimes with kids in the car) and if kids talk one of the two women was always called "aunt". But dad supsects the said "aunt" was the man's other spouse.

    No, actually I'm answering the title question, which was about multiple spouses. There are several ways that can happen.

    I'd be fine with modern Polyamory in the sims, though I have known one or two people involved in what they thought were Polyamorous relationships but someone involved didn't get the memo (or thought that they were the "special" one who got to have multiples while everyone else was to remain monogamous to them) and I'd rather not see that added to the game.

    However, I'd be reluctantly okay with Polygamy (multiple wives)/Polyandry (multiple husbands) in the Drama sense, where one person has multiple spouses who may or may not know about each other. (For an example of one where they would know, there were cultures where certain trading concerns were owned and managed by a woman and the traders were her husbands)

    I would not be okay with Polygamy/Polyandry in the sense where one person has multiple spouses and the spouses don't get a say but have to live together in the same household.

    We already have the first " Polymourus relationships with Eco living. That's not what the the Gru's comment is replying about. They're clearing talking about more then one spouse at the same time. (I mean since it is our own game I mean whom can say that a woman can't be married to both a woman and a man at the same time or vice versa?) I mean some people thought that what is the Lesbian couple in the trailer/wedding could have turned into a Poly marriage.

    Having an Polymours relationship is NOT the same thing as beingMARRIED to more then one partner at the same time. Two of my Sims Males extras got married to more then one spouse with some extra outside help.
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  • LJKLJK Posts: 203 Member
    edited February 10
    Monet11 wrote: »
    LJK wrote: »
    Monet11 wrote: »
    Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.

    You can break into people's homes in the Sims 4 and sabotage their electronics, plumbing, and steal their belongings. As a vampire, feeding on them is assault. An alien abducting and impregnating you is also assault. An action being in a videogame does not mean the videogame "promotes" it in real life.

    As always, we must take caution in attempting to use arguments based in real life for what should and shouldn't be in a simulator.

    You incorrectly assumed I was making any argument at all. I merely asked a question that I had.

    Last sentence was more rhetorical. Failed to make that clear hehe. Edited for my mistake.
  • Monet11Monet11 Posts: 1,080 Member

    logion wrote: »
    Monet11 wrote: »
    Hmmm... Polygamy is considered illegal in the US. Can a video game promote an illegal activity and still keep a teen rating? I don't know the answer to that.

    I think it's fine for a teen rated game... there are teen rated shooters, like Apex Legends. But the issue is as you said that almost every feature in The Sims 4 these days are promoted and causes discussions everywhere.

    I personally feel when it comes to things like this that the people who really want it, probably already have it in their game with the help of mods (unless you play the game on console).

    I'm not against it...I just feel. Is it really worth it?

    I feel like we are stepping into weird discussions like, should a sim be able to marry their cousin and things like that?

    I am not familiar with games outside of city builders and sims. I didn't know there were teen rated shooters. Thanks.

  • kayt45kayt45 Posts: 432 Member
    I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.
  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,464 Member
    kayt45 wrote: »
    I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.

    Frost isn't the one whom said "it might happen" it was SimGruNinja which said it
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  • NushkaNushka Posts: 305 Member
    MadameLee wrote: »
    DaWaterRat wrote: »
    For me, it really depends on how it's handled. I'd probably be okay with it if it required getting the okay from all sims involved. I'd be less okay (adapting an "it would be better as a mod" stance) if a sim could have multiple independent families that don't know about each other, but I can still see value in that for drama's sake.
    Situations where the original spouse(s) don't get input and they are all expected to live in the same house with each other would make me actively uncomfortable.

    For the record, while I'm not poly, I know people who are, and everyone involved in those relationships are on the same page.

    um I think you're confusing Polygamy (which is more then one spouse) with Polyamory (which means an "open relationship" sometimes three-way relation, or sometimes an "open relationship" and the couple see other people. Since when people talk about people being poly they generally mean the latter instead, of the former because of the whole "it's not legal" thing.

    Even though my Dad has said when he worked the border he would see men bringing two full grown women in (sometimes with kids in the car) and if kids talk one of the two women was always called "aunt". But dad supsects the said "aunt" was the man's other spouse.

    "Cell block tango" Is playing in my head, you know, some guys just can't hold their....
    Happy simming!
  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,464 Member
    Nushka wrote: »
    MadameLee wrote: »
    DaWaterRat wrote: »
    For me, it really depends on how it's handled. I'd probably be okay with it if it required getting the okay from all sims involved. I'd be less okay (adapting an "it would be better as a mod" stance) if a sim could have multiple independent families that don't know about each other, but I can still see value in that for drama's sake.
    Situations where the original spouse(s) don't get input and they are all expected to live in the same house with each other would make me actively uncomfortable.

    For the record, while I'm not poly, I know people who are, and everyone involved in those relationships are on the same page.

    um I think you're confusing Polygamy (which is more then one spouse) with Polyamory (which means an "open relationship" sometimes three-way relation, or sometimes an "open relationship" and the couple see other people. Since when people talk about people being poly they generally mean the latter instead, of the former because of the whole "it's not legal" thing.

    Even though my Dad has said when he worked the border he would see men bringing two full grown women in (sometimes with kids in the car) and if kids talk one of the two women was always called "aunt". But dad suspects the said "aunt" was the man's other spouse.

    "Cell block tango" Is playing in my head, you know, some guys just can't hold their....

    apple juice? /s
    kikWQMd.jpg
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited February 10
    .
    kayt45 wrote: »
    I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.

    And there are cultures where it is not just not taboo, but normal. If the game is about being inclusive, then they should support it and not support the bigotry of those who are offended by things that are different from their beliefs.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • kaiwrysimskaiwrysims Posts: 1,526 Member
    I mean in many cultures, religions, etc. lgbtq relationships are taboo but that didn't stop the very first sims game from supporting that.
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  • LJKLJK Posts: 203 Member
    edited February 10
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    .
    kayt45 wrote: »
    I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.

    And there are cultures where it is not just not taboo, but normal. If the game is about being inclusive, then they should support it and not support the bigotry of those who are offended by things that are different from their beliefs.
    kaiwrysims wrote: »
    I mean in many cultures, religions, etc. lgbtq relationships are taboo but that didn't stop the very first sims game from supporting that.

    Ah, yes. Refusing to add the option for polyamory/polygamy would border on the verge of hypocrisy. If actions between consenting adults is something that should be considered acceptable, why would polygamy be an exception if all parties involved are on the same page?

    EDIT: Should point out that this is merely food for thought as I have no interest in attempting to shift the discussion towards "is polygamy good or bad" as that is subjective and nobody can win a subjective debate.
  • SheriSim57SheriSim57 Posts: 5,867 Member
    edited July 9
    Not something I would really want, but if I could turn it off in my game, then it wouldn’t bother me.

    Edited to add:

    I personally would rather see the dev’s time spent updating babies to real babies,…. So that they could leave the crib and do other things. That is probably my greatest want now. I play with aging off most of the time. I would also like children to be able to play things like tag, hide and seek and cops and robbers with another child. To me that would be time better spent.
    But, like every other want simmers have, that happens to be my priority.
    Post edited by SheriSim57 on
  • logionlogion Posts: 4,351 Member
    edited February 10
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    .
    kayt45 wrote: »
    I think it would be tricky for them to add it as it remains a very taboo subject for some people/cultures. Even though Frost said he was open to it I assume it would never actually happen.

    And there are cultures where it is not just not taboo, but normal. If the game is about being inclusive, then they should support it and not support the bigotry of those who are offended by things that are different from their beliefs.

    Here we go again with the inclusive argument.

    Frankly, I don't care anymore. Go ahead and add it and add arranged marriages as well.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    logion wrote: »
    Here we go again with the inclusive argument.

    Frankly, I don't care anymore. Go ahead and add it and add arranged marriages as well.

    The marriages in the game already are arranged in most people's games. "The Watcher" is making the decision, not the Sims.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • logionlogion Posts: 4,351 Member
    edited February 10
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    logion wrote: »
    Here we go again with the inclusive argument.

    Frankly, I don't care anymore. Go ahead and add it and add arranged marriages as well.

    The marriages in the game already are arranged in most people's games. "The Watcher" is making the decision, not the Sims.

    No, arranged marriages in the game would be something like where another sim could arrange if two sims marry without the player controlling them. Those two sims never say "I do".

    But it doesn't matter, my point was that it's a controversial subject, and we keep adding things like this to the sims for the sake of being inclusive.

    And I honestly don't care anymore.
  • crocobauracrocobaura Posts: 5,499 Member
    kaiwrysims wrote: »
    I mean in many cultures, religions, etc. lgbtq relationships are taboo but that didn't stop the very first sims game from supporting that.

    In some cultures LGBTQ relationships are taboo but having several wives is normal. Hope if they bring this to the game, that sims will be able to have several houses to live in with the different spouse. Just in case they don't know about the other spouses or don't like them and don't get along in the same house.
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