Learning my mom is schizophrenic has changed a lot of things for me.
My mom was an abusive parent when I was growing up. Not 24/7, but overall, yes. After learning what I know now, I've started wondering how much of that abuse may have been her acting out on thoughts caused by her being ill. No, that wouldn't make it okay, but what if she couldn't control herself or somehow didn't always know what she doing? How do I blame her for what she did then? It makes moving past that so much harder because I don't know what to think anymore. She may not even remember some incidents.
It's not so much I want to blame her as it is I just want to know who - or what - I should consider responsible for that past. She's only been diagnosed with it since 2015, but I believe she's had it for much longer than that. Going undiagnosed for so many years makes me think it's possible it played a part.
Hello @KayeStar .Your mother's undiagnosed at that time schizophrenic condition may have influenced what she did in the past. She would not have been having treatment for it at the time and she may not have been aware of the hurt that she caused to you. It would be painful and upsetting for you as you look back on your childhood and growing up and remembering what happened and how you felt at the time. If you feel that you would like to, it may help to talk things over with a doctor or counselor. They may be able to explain how having undiagnosed schizophrenia may have affected the actions and thoughts of your mother. It would also be for you a way to express how you were feeling at the time and how you are feeling now, to people who will listen , help and support you,
I send hugs to you It is hard and upsetting for you to see your mother how she is affected by her condition. The past is weighing on your mind as well.
I try to think what make me unhappy or worried today. One of my friend miscarriage a week ago and her husband want a divorce because he already have another woman.
I try to think what make me unhappy or worried today. One of my friend miscarriage a week ago and her husband want a divorce because he already have another woman.
sight...see the world outside there is so cruel.
Hello. I am sorry to hear that your friend had a miscarriage. It is a very hard and sad time for your friend. The caring help and support given to her by you and other friends will help to bring comfort to her though this hard time of grief.
Hello to everyone To simmers going through painful, tiring or worrying times I send hugs to you May this butterfly and flower picture add a touch of beauty to your day, in all that your day by day life is holding.
Aw! I'm STILL in pain! Last night I had a Grand-Mal seizure! I ended up biting the side of my tongue and the inside of my cheek! As if that's not bad enough, I apparently chipped a tooth - never found out where the piece went. I REALLY don't need this right now. I'm already dealing with a fractured jaw I got from a fall (due to a dizzy spell). I already owe $6000 for the hospital for my jaw... so far. I'm also stressing about my disability court case on the 21st. Needless to say, I'm already stressing! I REALLY hope with all my heart I can get my disability, or else... I'll be knee-deep in whale doo-doo! :^(
Aw! I'm STILL in pain! Last night I had a Grand-Mal seizure! I ended up biting the side of my tongue and the inside of my cheek! As if that's not bad enough, I apparently chipped a tooth - never found out where the piece went. I REALLY don't need this right now.I'm already dealing with a fractured jaw I got from a fall (due to a dizzy spell). I'm also stressing about my disability court case on the 21st. Needless to say, I'm already stressing! I REALLY hope with all my heart I can get my disability, or else... I'll be knee-deep in whale doo-doo! :^(
Hello @5782341b77vl . I send big hugs to you ! It is not nice that you had a seizure, and that it caused you to bite the side of your tongue and cheek, and chip a tooth. It would have been so very painful for you! I am sorry that the pain is still with you now. I hope that the pain will start to ease. It is hard for you as you are continuing to go through the healing process after your fractured jaw. I will keep you in my thoughts as you prepare for your disability court case. It can be stressful waiting for upcoming cases to take place, as we are uncertain of the outcome. Try to take a day by day as you endure through your health issues and await the court case. Try to focus your attention on something else when you start to feel overcome with stress as you think of the court case. The feeling stressed will accentuate the pain and effects of your other health issues and affect your mind and body. If you can try to do something else that will relax you when you feel stressed, it will help your mind and body. Try listening to music or reading a book, or going onto the computer.
I send another hug to you and will be thinking of you in the days ahead.
@5782341b77vl Wanted to let you know that I'm sending healthy, happy vibes your way. I'm sorry you're struggling financially and physically--I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
Remember to breathe deep and that your value and worth can't be determined by things like a court case. Make yourself a hot cut of tea (or whatever your beverage of choice is) and do something that makes you happy.
Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop by and give you all an update.
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop by and give you all an update.
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hugs
Matthew.
Oh dear, I'm new to this thread and have gone back to read what happened to your Dad. That is SO sad. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I haven't lost either of my parents yet, but know sad times are coming. My Dad was on end of life care two years ago when I last went home to the UK to see my family, but somehow he got through it and is still with us.
It won't be easy for you. I don't know how people cope with that huge hole in their lives
Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop by and give you all an update.
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hugs
Matthew.
Hello @Sennie . I send big hugs to you You and your family continue to remain in my thoughts as you go through this very sad and hard grieving time. Each of your family are going through this time of grief and pain in your own ways. It would bring help and comfort to you all if you could talk about how you are feeling and talk about your Dad. It is hard at the moment, but there will be a time, when you will all be able to talk. Try just to be open to when your mother or brothers or sister want to talk. It may all of a sudden be just the right time to talk and you will be able to share from your heart how you are feeling. Try to be open to that time.When you feel like crying, please cry. Don't keep it inside. Weeping is a part of the grieving process, and helps us to express our innermost feelings when there are no words that can express it. It is understandable that you have the funeral on your mind, and especially because you haven't been to one before and it is the funeral of your precious dad. It is nice that your brother is speaking at the funeral. If you decide to speak it will be a lovely tribute to your dad , but if you don't everyone will understand. Your love, respect and care for your Dad remains in your heart, and it is not what is said at the funeral, it is instead the treasured memories that you have for your Dad and the special father and son relationship that you have. Death will never separate that or cause it to end. Your tribute to him is the life you are now living. With all that you have been going through over these last days, it would be taking an effect on your ASD and OCD health issues, accentuating their effects on your day by day life. You are enduring through hard experiences.
It is good that you are talking things over with SimGuruDrake. You have many simmimg friends who care very much about you and what you are going though, and are supporting you in their thoughts and in their words to you.
I send more big hugs I would so much like to take away your pain. I can't. But I will keep you in my thoughts.
Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop by and give you all an update.
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hugs
Matthew.
@Sennie Hi. Just read through everything and wanted to send you and your family some extra love and hope today. Things are hard now, but time does heal, even if it doesn't completely repair the damage done.
Your family will come around in time--there are probably many unspoken and painful things going through each of their minds and giving words and breath to them causes them to be very real. Grief looks differently for everyone, so make sure you're doing what you need to do in a healhty way to keep yourself going through the process.
Take time each day for you--allow the sad thoughts to exist, but also remember that good things can still happen.
Again--lots of love and holding you and your family in light as you continue through this tough time.
I haven't been able to check how you all are, I hope everyone here are okay.
The start to the new year was a bit busy for me, I found out my health isn't at its best, nothing I can't work on though.
Your health is the most important, @Clarkie100. Wishing you nothing but good, healthy thoughts. Take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.
i lost my brother 2 years ago to a car accident my family broke apart there was always something missing in our family it was a really dark time for me for all of us but things got better we got closer to each other we learned to lean on each other for help to love each other because you never know that this is the last time your gonna see a person that you care about.
it's true that i didn't get to say goodbye to him none of us did we weren't that close but i feel peaceful when i remember how much of a great person he is if learned so much about him after his passing from my family so if you lost someone that you love don't give up lean on the good memories you have of that person and remember that they are in a good place.
i lost my brother 2 years ago to a car accident my family broke apart there was always something missing in our family it was a really dark time for me for all of us but things got better we got closer to each other we learned to lean on each other for help to love each other because you never know that this is the last time your gonna see a person that you care about.
it's true that i didn't get to say goodbye to him none of us did we weren't that close but i feel peaceful when i remember how much of a great person he is if learned so much about him after his passing from my family so if you lost someone that you love don't give up lean on the good memories you have of that person and remember that they are in a good place.
Hello @BethanyXX I am so sorry to hear of the passing away of your brother in a car accident. It would have been an awful shock to you all when it happened, and a very hard and sad time as you grieved and felt the impact and effects of his passing away. I send big hugs to you as you keep special and treasured memories of him in your thoughts and heart. It is good and healing that you and your family over these last couple of years since his passing away have come closer together and are leaning on each other to love, care and support each other.
Thankyou for your caring and encouraging words that you have written to simmers who are grieving loved ones, and also it encourages us all to treasure the times we spend with our family and friends.
Sending another hug to you
thank you @rosemow for the kind words <3 and i really hope people that are grieving can find a bright side to life than a dark one because there is always light down the road.
@BethanyXX Thank you for sharing your story. It is easier to think of all we've lost (and sometimes we lose soooo much) and much harder to think of what has come from it. While I can't begin to imagine the pain you and your family have felt over the past two years, it is incredibly hopeful to hear you talk about how you all learned to lean on each other and grow closer.
Sending you and all those who need it big hugs, love and support and we go through this changing, unpredictable world.
I am sorry to read about how others are going through bad times, My first Funeral was when I was like 7 yrs old, it was My grandfather who I had met then and Loved very much, My only hope is that others do not have to go through that, but I know it is part of life and we all will go through that, it is a sad thing indeed, Have a great day, oh and Happy Birthday to all on this day like me, waves, .
Hi everyone, just thought I'd pop by and give you all an update.
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hugs
Matthew.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Matthew. Big hugs! I lost my dad in September, I can relate. My best word of advice... cry when you need to. Don't try to hold it back. When you feel the need to cry, let it out.
I am sorry to read about how others are going through bad times, My first Funeral was when I was like 7 yrs old, it was My grandfather who I had met then and Loved very much, My only hope is that others do not have to go through that, but I know it is part of life and we all will go through that, it is a sad thing indeed, Have a great day, oh and Happy Birthday to all on this day like me, waves, .
Hello @BlueBlack007 . Thankyou for your caring and kind words to fellow simmers going through hard times.
Happy birthday to you I hope that you are having a very nice day, spending special times with your loved ones
Comments
Hello @KayeStar .Your mother's undiagnosed at that time schizophrenic condition may have influenced what she did in the past. She would not have been having treatment for it at the time and she may not have been aware of the hurt that she caused to you. It would be painful and upsetting for you as you look back on your childhood and growing up and remembering what happened and how you felt at the time. If you feel that you would like to, it may help to talk things over with a doctor or counselor. They may be able to explain how having undiagnosed schizophrenia may have affected the actions and thoughts of your mother. It would also be for you a way to express how you were feeling at the time and how you are feeling now, to people who will listen , help and support you,
I send hugs to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Hello @dangelionslayer
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
sight...see the world outside there is so cruel.
Hello. I am sorry to hear that your friend had a miscarriage. It is a very hard and sad time for your friend. The caring help and support given to her by you and other friends will help to bring comfort to her though this hard time of grief.
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Hello @5782341b77vl . I send big hugs to you !
I send another hug to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Remember to breathe deep and that your value and worth can't be determined by things like a court case. Make yourself a hot cut of tea (or whatever your beverage of choice is) and do something that makes you happy.
Good luck with everything
Discord: #5153
Life is still a struggle without my Dad but we're coping ok, or at least I am. My Mum is still really upset and barely speaks a word now and my brothers and sister never talk now. I'm sure they want to but no one can find the words. Yesterday I saw Becky in the hallway and we both looked at each other for a few seconds, and though I wanted to speak I almost felt like crying so quickly went back to my bed. I'm not moaning because I know there are people far worse of than us, but I just wish one of us could find the strength to talk. The other day I did try and start a conversation but everyone left the room, so I guess I was a little upset yesterday because I couldn't even say a word.
Dad's funeral is next Thursday and this week that has been on my mind a lot. I've never been to a funeral before so I am dreading it. I know my brother James is making a speech and I'm not sure if I should or not. I know I'd have a lot of wonderful things to say about my Dad, but I think I'd probably burst in to tears. So I am still thinking of what to do there.
But for now I am trying not to think of the funeral.
I'm also struggling a lot more to cope with the ASD and OCD now. Some of the thoughts I have are horrible and surprisingly the worries aren't so bad, I get pains here and there but nothing like they were on the weekend. I felt a little sick this morning, but I drank a milkshake in under a minute so I guessed it must be that.
Overall we're doing ok, it's just a really hard and upsetting time. I'm also talking with SimGuruDrake and hopefully SimGuruBChick which is helping me a lot, not to mention the support I've got from here and my friends
Hugs
Matthew.
Oh dear, I'm new to this thread and have gone back to read what happened to your Dad. That is SO sad. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I haven't lost either of my parents yet, but know sad times are coming. My Dad was on end of life care two years ago when I last went home to the UK to see my family, but somehow he got through it and is still with us.
It won't be easy for you. I don't know how people cope with that huge hole in their lives
I'll leave it there. All the best Matthew.
Hello @Sennie . I send big hugs to you
It is good that you are talking things over with SimGuruDrake. You have many simmimg friends who care very much about you and what you are going though, and are supporting you in their thoughts and in their words to you.
I send more big hugs
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
@Sennie Hi. Just read through everything and wanted to send you and your family some extra love and hope today. Things are hard now, but time does heal, even if it doesn't completely repair the damage done.
Your family will come around in time--there are probably many unspoken and painful things going through each of their minds and giving words and breath to them causes them to be very real. Grief looks differently for everyone, so make sure you're doing what you need to do in a healhty way to keep yourself going through the process.
Take time each day for you--allow the sad thoughts to exist, but also remember that good things can still happen.
Again--lots of love and holding you and your family in light as you continue through this tough time.
Discord: #5153
I haven't been able to check how you all are, I hope everyone here are okay.
The start to the new year was a bit busy for me, I found out my health isn't at its best, nothing I can't work on though.
Hello @Clarkie100
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Your health is the most important, @Clarkie100. Wishing you nothing but good, healthy thoughts. Take care of yourself and everything else will fall into place.
Much love
Discord: #5153
it's true that i didn't get to say goodbye to him none of us did we weren't that close but i feel peaceful when i remember how much of a great person he is if learned so much about him after his passing from my family so if you lost someone that you love don't give up lean on the good memories you have of that person and remember that they are in a good place.
Hello @BethanyXX I am so sorry to hear of the passing away of your brother in a car accident. It would have been an awful shock to you all when it happened, and a very hard and sad time as you grieved and felt the impact and effects of his passing away. I send big hugs to you
Thankyou for your caring and encouraging words that you have written to simmers who are grieving loved ones, and also it encourages us all to treasure the times we spend with our family and friends.
Sending another hug to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Sending you and all those who need it big hugs, love and support and we go through this changing, unpredictable world.
Discord: #5153
I'm so sorry for your loss, Matthew. Big hugs!
Hello @BlueBlack007 . Thankyou for your caring and kind words to fellow simmers going through hard times.
Happy birthday to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase