Sorry I haven't replied much. *hugs* I have been reading the comments, I promise. I'm just not sure what I could say that would be helpful sometimes... @djaygamer *hugs* I'm sorry your life is plum. I wish there was something I could do, but all I can offer you at the moment is hugs. *hugs*
Sorry I haven't replied much. *hugs* I have been reading the comments, I promise. I'm just not sure what I could say that would be helpful sometimes... @djaygamer *hugs* I'm sorry your life is plum. I wish there was something I could do, but all I can offer you at the moment is hugs. *hugs*
Sometimes, the best thing anyone can do is say that they're there, and offer hugs.
"The worst is not, So long as we can say 'This is the worst.'" - Wm. Shakespeare, King Lear, Act IV Scene 1
Sorry I haven't replied much. *hugs* I have been reading the comments, I promise. I'm just not sure what I could say that would be helpful sometimes... @djaygamer *hugs* I'm sorry your life is plum. I wish there was something I could do, but all I can offer you at the moment is hugs. *hugs*
Hello @SilentWolf101. Offering hugs and saying that you care is the most helpful thing to do. It is very supportive.
I send hugs back to you
"Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
This is a great idea :) We all have bad and good days .. Do we have a good time thread lol? I have a lot to say here just not right now :( Hopefully, life will get better some day :smiley:
This is a great idea We all have bad and good days .. Do we have a good time thread lol?
I have a lot to say here just not right now Hopefully, life will get better some day
Hello @Missmf1. I am sorry that you are going through a hard time time in your life. I send hugs to you You are very welcome to post here anytime that you would like to post. We are here to listen and to help support you through what your life is holding. There will be some days that are better than others and other days not so good. I send you a hug to take with you for the not so good days
@rosemow Thank you very much! Just a lot to list I would need a good 35 -45 mins to just sit and type but, I think this may help a lot of people very good of you to make this topic :)
This is a great idea We all have bad and good days .. Do we have a good time thread lol?
I have a lot to say here just not right now Hopefully, life will get better some day
A good time thread? That sounds like a great idea! somebody should make that!
*hugs* The thread seems to have been derailed then... Though, who derailed it is the question. If you derailed it, then I think it might be alright. But if not... I don't know. You could try to get the thread back on the intended topic, though.
I really need some advice I just don't know what to do. I will start with giving you all some back history.
I have never had a very good relationship with my brother or my father. My brother "D" has always been perfect no matter what he did. I was the good kid and got good grades, was always where I was suppose to be, but my brother was always trouble, but yet perfect. My brother was cruel to me, he could beat me up and pick on me and my parents especially my father would either laugh or tell me to get over it and ignore him. My brother has always had to be the center of attention, and 40 years later he still does and he leaves nothing for anyone else. Even my high school graduation, he took charge of the camera and there was not a single picture of me graduating but every picture was of his friends. My wedding he made it about him, and made himself the center of attention. When I had my daughter some how he made it about him. When my daughter had her surgery on his feet, he made it about him. Some how even my mothers funeral, he made it about him, and then stole money from me. Even my brothers family is considered perfect, especially his daughter which has become the favorite grand child while my daughter who is the oldest has basically been tossed aside. My father when I was 18 told me that the reason he didn't like me was "because he wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born and it didn't help I was a girl." My parents were 25 when I was born and had been married for over a year. Since I was 18 I have carried that burden, and all my life my father has screamed at me for stupid stuff, called me very cruel names, and has ignored me when he could.
Many of you know that my brother in-law (husbands side), my mom, and my aunt all died within the same year, 6 years ago. It was a horrible year...but what you all don't is shortly after my mom died my dad got rid of everything, 2 weeks later after her death he was dating and eight months later he was married to a woman that I to this day don't know.
He hurt my daughter horribly by some of the things he said and her finding all her pictures tossed in a dresser drawer that he was getting rid of. A bunch of stuff happened with the wedding and made me feel completely left out, ignored, unworthy and like I wasn't wanted there. I even told my brother how I was feeling, thinking for once in my life he would have my back and say something to my father, but all he did was make me look like an idiot, and somehow once again made himself look like the hero and all about him.
My daughter graduated high school a few years ago, she graduated with cords and in the top 10 of her class. It was a wonderful day but a very hard day, we both were missing my mom desperately. His wife we will called "X" asked me what my daughter was going to do? I told her she doesn't know yet, she will probably get a job and go to community college she doesn't want to be in debt the rest of her life before she even becomes an adult, the main thing is she wants to become a writer. We took my grandmother to the rest room and while in there she then started chewing me out that my daughter should be doing more and that she can't just do nothing how can we have nothing planned? Where does she get off at that point I had spent 8 hours with the woman? She was and is nothing more in my husbands, daughters and my life then an acquaintance and still is.
That same Christmas we were invited to spend Christmas at my fathers and X's house. We went which was a very long drive since they moved 2.5 hour drive from my parents old house and we had to leave our house by 5 am to be there on time. We walked in and she was standing in the kitchen with her back to us, I said hi to my dad and waited for X to finish chopping what she was working on. She flips around and starts yelling "you could come in and say hi, I am not evil you know." Everyone just let her yell at me like that, I told her I didn't want to interrupt you. I thought it was over, not a big deal, other then no one stopped her from yelling at me, to be honest I blew it off and decided not to make an issue of it. Last year my birthday came and went, I heard nothing from my father, it really hurt. I made the mistake of turning to my grandmother and my brothers wife, saying how hurt I was. While I was on the phone with my sister in-law Christmas gets thrown in my face and what happened with X. I couldn't believe it, I hadn't thought about it in 9 months and it wasn't that big of a deal. I told my sister in-law that seriously X is mad at me for that, and you are throwing that in my face, X and my father were the host it was her and his responsibility to come out and say hi to us. In October my father ignored my daughters birthday as well, it isn't like he doesn't know her birthday and my brothers are only 2 days apart, then a month later she finally got a card, my daughter was furious at that point, because to her it was like why even bother.
Then a month later I got a letter from my brother. It was cruel. I was told how it was my fault my mother died, that I was an embarrassment, how I am not allowed to talk to anyone, how wonderful X is, how he is only doing this because he loves me, and that I am not allowed to tell anyone about the letter because he wasn't going to tell anyone about it, and a bunch of other stuff that I trusted my grandmother with and the only way he would have known is if my grandmother broke my confidence and told him.
That day I realized the day my mom and my aunt died I lost the only two people that had ever had my back, that I was alone and how much I had been betrayed, I cut myself off from the family, I was done after all these years being treat the way I have been my whole life.
Then a few months later I got a letter in the mail from my grandmother, telling me about family members, which the truth is I could care less, and how I need to not live in the past. There were things said that made it clear she knew about the letter, and I knew I was being setup. All I could think is I am not living in the past, I am living in the here and now, I am hurt by the here and now, my daughter is hurt by the here and now, nothing in this family changes it is the same thing all the time, nothing ever changes, but the bloody year.
It hurt when my brother in-law died but we knew it was coming, the same with my mom, my aunt hit me like a ton of bricks. I went into such a deep depression after her death, but eventually it went away. Since the letter the pain I have now is so much worse. I act like I am functioning but the truth is I am not, I don't sleep well, I cry myself to sleep every night, I wake up some mornings in tears but more mornings angry, I have a lot of nightmares, I have gained so much weight, my body hurts every where, and every time my husband goes out and gets the mail I feel every muscle in my body lock up because I am scared to death what is going to be in the mail. I have tried getting help. I even told the therapist do not ask me to bring my brother or father in here, all they will do is make it all my fault, and if you do I will walk out and never come back, well I haven't been back so guess what happened.
Then yesterday I get an invitation to my grandmothers 90th birthday party being given by my cousin and my sister in-law, at my brothers house. I don't want to go. I will not be welcome in the first place and I will sit there alone. My daughter and husband says we are not going because all they will do is make me feel worse then I already do and it will just be the "D" show to begin with. Then the guilt comes up that I should be there. I don't know what to do...
Post edited by ArielDelphinus on
“Because if you don't stand up for the stuff you don't like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you've already lost.”
― Neil Gaiman
*hugs* The thread seems to have been derailed then...Though, who derailed it is the question. If you derailed it, then I think it might be alright. But if not... I don't know. You could try to get the thread back on the intended topic, though.
I think I derailed it unbeknownst to myself. I have all this pent up frustration and stuff about too many things and I can't seem to get it to all make sense. It just comes out
@ArielDelphinus I'm so sorry. I don't want this to become about me but if you wouldn't mind me telling you a bit about my situation then maybe it can shed some light. Feel free to message me if you'd like
I really need some advice I just don't know what to do. I will start with giving you all some back history.
I have never had a very good relationship with my brother or my father. My brother "D" has always been perfect no matter what he did. I was the good kid and got good grades, was always where I was suppose to be, but my brother was always trouble, but yet perfect. My brother was cruel to me, he could beat me up and pick on me and my parents especially my father would either laugh or tell me to get over it and ignore him. My brother has always had to be the center of attention, and 40 years later he still does and he leaves nothing for anyone else. Even my high school graduation, he took charge of the camera and there was not a single picture of me graduating but every picture was of his friends. My wedding he made it about him, and made himself the center of attention. When I had my daughter some how he made it about him. When my daughter had her surgery on his feet, he made it about him. Even my brothers family is considered perfect, especially his daughter which has become the favorite grand child while my daughter who is the oldest has basically been tossed aside. My father when I was 18 told me that the reason he didn't like me was "because he wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born and it didn't help I was a girl." My parents were 25 when I was born and had been married for over a year. Since I was 18 I have carried that burden, and all my life my father has screamed at me for stupid stuff, called me very cruel names, and has ignored me when he could.
Many of you know that my brother in-law (husbands side), my mom, and my aunt all died within the same year, 6 years ago. It was a horrible year...but what you all don't is shortly after my mom died my dad got rid of everything, 2 weeks later after her death he was dating and eight months later he was married to a woman that I to this day don't know.
He hurt my daughter horribly by some of the things he said and her finding all her pictures tossed in a dresser drawer that he was getting rid of. A bunch of stuff happened with the wedding and made me feel completely left out, ignored, unworthy and like I wasn't wanted there. I even told my brother how I was feeling, thinking for once in my life he would have my back and say something to my father, but all he did was make me look like an idiot, and somehow once again made himself look like the hero and all about him.
My daughter graduated high school a few years ago, she graduated with cords and in the top 10 of her class. It was a wonderful day but a very hard day, we both were missing my mom desperately. His wife we will called "X" asked me what my daughter was going to do? I told her she doesn't know yet, she will probably get a job and go to community college she doesn't want to be in debt the rest of her life before she even becomes an adult, the main thing is she wants to become a writer. We took my grandmother to the rest room and while in there she then started chewing me out that my daughter should be doing more and that she can't just do nothing how can we have nothing planned? Where does she get off at that point I had spent 8 hours with the woman? She was and is nothing more in my husbands, daughters and my life then an acquaintance and still is.
That same Christmas we were invited to spend Christmas at my fathers and X's house. We went which was a very long drive since they moved 2.5 hour drive from my parents old house and we had to leave our house by 5 am to be there on time. We walked in and she was standing in the kitchen with her back to us, I said hi to my dad and waited for X to finish chopping what she was working on. She flips around and starts yelling "you could come in and say hi, I am not evil you know." Everyone just let her yell at me like that, I told her I didn't want to interrupt you. I thought it was over, not a big deal, other then no one stopped her from yelling at me, to be honest I blew it off and decided not to make an issue of it. Last year my birthday came and went, I heard nothing from my father, it really hurt. I made the mistake of turning to my grandmother and my brothers wife, saying how hurt I was. While I was on the phone with my sister in-law Christmas gets thrown in my face and what happened with X. I couldn't believe it, I hadn't thought about it in 9 months and it wasn't that big of a deal. I told my sister in-law that seriously X is mad at me for that, and you are throwing that in my face, X and my father were the host it was her and his responsibility to come out and say hi to us. In October my father ignored my daughters birthday as well, it isn't like he doesn't know her birthday and my brothers are only 2 days apart, then a month later she finally got a card, my daughter was furious at that point, because to her it was like why even bother.
Then a month later I got a letter from my brother. It was cruel. I was told how it was my fault my mother died, that I was an embarrassment, how I am not allowed to talk to anyone, how wonderful X is, how he is only doing this because he loves me, and that I am not allowed to tell anyone about the letter because he wasn't going to tell anyone about it, and a bunch of other stuff that I trusted my grandmother with and the only way he would have known is if my grandmother broke my confidence and told him.
That day I realized the day my mom and my aunt died I lost the only two people that had ever had my back, that I was alone and how much I had been betrayed, I cut myself off from the family, I was done after all these years being treat the way I have been my whole life.
Then a few months later I got a letter in the mail from my grandmother, telling me about family members, which the truth is I could care less, and how I need to not live in the past. There were things said that made it clear she knew about the letter, and I knew I was being setup. All I could think is I am not living in the past, I am living in the here and now, I am hurt by the here and now, my daughter is hurt by the here and now, nothing in this family changes it is the same thing all the time, nothing ever changes, but the bloody year.
It hurt when my brother in-law died but we knew it was coming, the same with my mom, my aunt hit me like a ton of bricks. I went into such a deep depression after her death, but eventually it went away. Since the letter the pain I have now is so much worse. I act like I am functioning but the truth is I am not, I don't sleep well, I cry myself to sleep every night, I wake up some mornings in tears but more mornings angry, I have a lot of nightmares, I have gained so much weight, my body hurts every where, and every time my husband goes out and gets the mail I feel every muscle in my body lock up because I am scared to death what is going to be in the mail. I have tried getting help. I even told the therapist do not ask me to bring my brother or father in here, all they will do is make it all my fault, and if you do I will walk out and never come back, well I haven't been back so guess what happened.
Then yesterday I get an invitation to my grandmothers 90th birthday party being given by my cousin and my sister in-law, at my brothers house. I don't want to go. I will not be welcome in the first place and I will sit there alone. My daughter and husband says we are not going because all they will do is make me feel worse then I already do and it will just be "D's" show to begin with. Then the guilt comes up that I should be there. I don't know what to do...
*hugs* It is not right for you to have been treated like that. It is not your fault any of that happened, and that letter is nothing more than a way to make you feel bad. If you still have it, get rid of it. Burn it, shred it, whatever. It's worthless. I say that you should not go to the birthday party, but then if you don't it's very likely that you would get in trouble with the rest of the family. If you do, on the other hand, it's also very likely to be a repeat of that Christmas year. It seems like a lose-lose situation, which is never a good situation. If I were you, I would simply choose not to go and try to ignore anybody who brought up that I didn't go. Now, maybe this isn't the best thing I've ever said, but I would come up with an excuse -- even if it were fake -- as to why I couldn't attend the party. Then, later, spend some time with your grandmother to let her know you still care about her (If you want to, that is). You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to.
When you were kids, you and your brother seem to be the exact same as me and my brother -- he's the perfect, favorite child, and I'm just... There. I get good grades, I don't do anything bad, he picks on me and yet he's still the favorite. It's not fair to you or me.
We're all here for you anytime you want to talk or are feeling down. It's not fair to you to have to go through all this, and you don't deserve to. Again, this may not be the best thing to say, but it seems like the best idea is that you cut them off -- at least temporarily. It might help you, and if anything comes in the mail from them... It may not be worth it to look at.
My suggestions may not be the best in the world, but they're just suggestions. If you want somebody to talk to, you can always PM me on here. I'll answer.
*hugs* The thread seems to have been derailed then...Though, who derailed it is the question. If you derailed it, then I think it might be alright. But if not... I don't know. You could try to get the thread back on the intended topic, though.
I think I derailed it unbeknownst to myself. I have all this pent up frustration and stuff about too many things and I can't seem to get it to all make sense. It just comes out
After going through your thread, I think you did in fact derail it on accident. It's alright to let things out. *hugs* I do all the time. Maybe, if you still want it to remain on the topic of the sims 3/4, try to make it go back on topic. Mentioning what the thread was initially about, as well as commenting on what the thread was initially about might help. Also, changing the title of the thread might help as well.
@ArielDelphinus Wow, I am so glad you let this out. It is good to write down what is bothering you. The support group here is great
I am telling you from experience that stress is not good for you. I need to avoid it and it is hard when you have people coming at you like that, especially family members. I told my family that I needed to avoid stress and that I was going to remove the stress from my life ( I did not define that either). So now I only speak to one of my brothers. I no longer talk to the other three. Life is better with those three gone and I wont look back because I did nothing wrong, they did. May Karma get them one day for what they have done!
Its hard to lose a loved one, whether it be your parent(s), sibling(s), child(ren) or anyone you are close to. I still miss my Mom after all these years. I wasn't that close to my Dad but I also miss him a lot!
Your Daughter hurts also, but mainly because she see's the hurt that they have caused you. I may be wrong in my suggestions, but here it goes:
Live for now, put that smile back on your face (this is what your Daughter needs right now, to see you smile again). Don't let your family bring you down anymore. Pick yourself up (throwing some of my strength, bull headedness, and stubbornness your way, LOL) Rid them of your life, it is their fault, not yours. I wouldn't go to the party myself, but that is your decision. If you decide to go (knowing what would happen) then you are caving in? If you don't go, then just send her a Birthday Card? I was always like that, making my family happy and doing what they wanted me to do, even though I paid for it! I put up with a lot over the years but not since I was diagnosed with MS. I cut just about everyone off, LOL. But I am still going and I don't look back. My kids are my strength and all I need to keep going! Yes, I might think of some of the good times way back then (I had a lot of good memories growing up, its just been a mess since we all actually grew up, LOL), but I don't dwell on the bad. We cant take back what has already happened, we can only move forward. Life is too short and goes by too fast and if we dwell on all the bad, that is time we are losing.
I only wish the best for you and will support your decision!
Hello Guys. Thanks for all the nice, caring comments about my mum. I do have sad news though. My dad told me this morning she has passed away. I am feeling super depressed.
So sorry for your loss. It will be hard moving forward, the days ahead are rough ones but that is a road we all have to travel!
This is a great idea We all have bad and good days .. Do we have a good time thread lol?
I have a lot to say here just not right now Hopefully, life will get better some day
A good time thread? That sounds like a great idea! somebody should make that!
LOL@Silentwolf101 - Well , I for one know I will be here alot to "vent" about bad things and bad days I just am trying to think positive too and someone should make a good time and good day good times thread lol .. Something , I am trying something new in my life ..Positivity, LMBO.. something definitely new for me at least ..HA
Comments
Hello @Clarkie100.
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Yes, I'm still working on my stories. But I am restarting them (again). Links will come when they're up.
Come Join The Mafia! | Monthly Simlit Story Challenges
Sometimes, the best thing anyone can do is say that they're there, and offer hugs.
Hello @SilentWolf101. Offering hugs and saying that you care is the most helpful thing to do. It is very supportive.
I send hugs back to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
I cannot thank you enough @rosemow
-Oscar Wilde
Hello @Kaike78. Sending a hug back to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
I have a lot to say here just not right now :( Hopefully, life will get better some day :smiley:
Hello @Missmf1. I am sorry that you are going through a hard time time in your life. I send hugs to you
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/817478/hello-come-and-introduce-yourself
http://tinyurl.com/OneRoomOneWeek
http://tinyurl.com/rosemow
My Showcase thread https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/948861/rosemow-s-rooms-showcase
Thank you very much! Just a lot to list I would need a good 35 -45 mins to just sit and type but, I think this may help a lot of people very good of you to make this topic :)
Link to my blog: https://www.merismusings.wordpress.com
Link to my Twitter (used mainly for promoting my blog): https://twitter.com/BridgetW1990
Add me on Origin: mwyatt139
Link to my blog: https://www.merismusings.wordpress.com
Link to my Twitter (used mainly for promoting my blog): https://twitter.com/BridgetW1990
Add me on Origin: mwyatt139
*hugs* The thread seems to have been derailed then... Though, who derailed it is the question. If you derailed it, then I think it might be alright. But if not... I don't know. You could try to get the thread back on the intended topic, though.
Yes, I'm still working on my stories. But I am restarting them (again). Links will come when they're up.
Come Join The Mafia! | Monthly Simlit Story Challenges
I have never had a very good relationship with my brother or my father. My brother "D" has always been perfect no matter what he did. I was the good kid and got good grades, was always where I was suppose to be, but my brother was always trouble, but yet perfect. My brother was cruel to me, he could beat me up and pick on me and my parents especially my father would either laugh or tell me to get over it and ignore him. My brother has always had to be the center of attention, and 40 years later he still does and he leaves nothing for anyone else. Even my high school graduation, he took charge of the camera and there was not a single picture of me graduating but every picture was of his friends. My wedding he made it about him, and made himself the center of attention. When I had my daughter some how he made it about him. When my daughter had her surgery on his feet, he made it about him. Some how even my mothers funeral, he made it about him, and then stole money from me. Even my brothers family is considered perfect, especially his daughter which has become the favorite grand child while my daughter who is the oldest has basically been tossed aside. My father when I was 18 told me that the reason he didn't like me was "because he wasn't ready to be a dad when I was born and it didn't help I was a girl." My parents were 25 when I was born and had been married for over a year. Since I was 18 I have carried that burden, and all my life my father has screamed at me for stupid stuff, called me very cruel names, and has ignored me when he could.
Many of you know that my brother in-law (husbands side), my mom, and my aunt all died within the same year, 6 years ago. It was a horrible year...but what you all don't is shortly after my mom died my dad got rid of everything, 2 weeks later after her death he was dating and eight months later he was married to a woman that I to this day don't know.
He hurt my daughter horribly by some of the things he said and her finding all her pictures tossed in a dresser drawer that he was getting rid of. A bunch of stuff happened with the wedding and made me feel completely left out, ignored, unworthy and like I wasn't wanted there. I even told my brother how I was feeling, thinking for once in my life he would have my back and say something to my father, but all he did was make me look like an idiot, and somehow once again made himself look like the hero and all about him.
My daughter graduated high school a few years ago, she graduated with cords and in the top 10 of her class. It was a wonderful day but a very hard day, we both were missing my mom desperately. His wife we will called "X" asked me what my daughter was going to do? I told her she doesn't know yet, she will probably get a job and go to community college she doesn't want to be in debt the rest of her life before she even becomes an adult, the main thing is she wants to become a writer. We took my grandmother to the rest room and while in there she then started chewing me out that my daughter should be doing more and that she can't just do nothing how can we have nothing planned? Where does she get off at that point I had spent 8 hours with the woman? She was and is nothing more in my husbands, daughters and my life then an acquaintance and still is.
That same Christmas we were invited to spend Christmas at my fathers and X's house. We went which was a very long drive since they moved 2.5 hour drive from my parents old house and we had to leave our house by 5 am to be there on time. We walked in and she was standing in the kitchen with her back to us, I said hi to my dad and waited for X to finish chopping what she was working on. She flips around and starts yelling "you could come in and say hi, I am not evil you know." Everyone just let her yell at me like that, I told her I didn't want to interrupt you. I thought it was over, not a big deal, other then no one stopped her from yelling at me, to be honest I blew it off and decided not to make an issue of it. Last year my birthday came and went, I heard nothing from my father, it really hurt. I made the mistake of turning to my grandmother and my brothers wife, saying how hurt I was. While I was on the phone with my sister in-law Christmas gets thrown in my face and what happened with X. I couldn't believe it, I hadn't thought about it in 9 months and it wasn't that big of a deal. I told my sister in-law that seriously X is mad at me for that, and you are throwing that in my face, X and my father were the host it was her and his responsibility to come out and say hi to us. In October my father ignored my daughters birthday as well, it isn't like he doesn't know her birthday and my brothers are only 2 days apart, then a month later she finally got a card, my daughter was furious at that point, because to her it was like why even bother.
Then a month later I got a letter from my brother. It was cruel. I was told how it was my fault my mother died, that I was an embarrassment, how I am not allowed to talk to anyone, how wonderful X is, how he is only doing this because he loves me, and that I am not allowed to tell anyone about the letter because he wasn't going to tell anyone about it, and a bunch of other stuff that I trusted my grandmother with and the only way he would have known is if my grandmother broke my confidence and told him.
That day I realized the day my mom and my aunt died I lost the only two people that had ever had my back, that I was alone and how much I had been betrayed, I cut myself off from the family, I was done after all these years being treat the way I have been my whole life.
Then a few months later I got a letter in the mail from my grandmother, telling me about family members, which the truth is I could care less, and how I need to not live in the past. There were things said that made it clear she knew about the letter, and I knew I was being setup. All I could think is I am not living in the past, I am living in the here and now, I am hurt by the here and now, my daughter is hurt by the here and now, nothing in this family changes it is the same thing all the time, nothing ever changes, but the bloody year.
It hurt when my brother in-law died but we knew it was coming, the same with my mom, my aunt hit me like a ton of bricks. I went into such a deep depression after her death, but eventually it went away. Since the letter the pain I have now is so much worse. I act like I am functioning but the truth is I am not, I don't sleep well, I cry myself to sleep every night, I wake up some mornings in tears but more mornings angry, I have a lot of nightmares, I have gained so much weight, my body hurts every where, and every time my husband goes out and gets the mail I feel every muscle in my body lock up because I am scared to death what is going to be in the mail. I have tried getting help. I even told the therapist do not ask me to bring my brother or father in here, all they will do is make it all my fault, and if you do I will walk out and never come back, well I haven't been back so guess what happened.
Then yesterday I get an invitation to my grandmothers 90th birthday party being given by my cousin and my sister in-law, at my brothers house. I don't want to go. I will not be welcome in the first place and I will sit there alone. My daughter and husband says we are not going because all they will do is make me feel worse then I already do and it will just be the "D" show to begin with. Then the guilt comes up that I should be there. I don't know what to do...
― Neil Gaiman
I think I derailed it unbeknownst to myself. I have all this pent up frustration and stuff about too many things and I can't seem to get it to all make sense. It just comes out
Link to my blog: https://www.merismusings.wordpress.com
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Add me on Origin: mwyatt139
Link to my blog: https://www.merismusings.wordpress.com
Link to my Twitter (used mainly for promoting my blog): https://twitter.com/BridgetW1990
Add me on Origin: mwyatt139
*hugs* It is not right for you to have been treated like that. It is not your fault any of that happened, and that letter is nothing more than a way to make you feel bad. If you still have it, get rid of it. Burn it, shred it, whatever. It's worthless. I say that you should not go to the birthday party, but then if you don't it's very likely that you would get in trouble with the rest of the family. If you do, on the other hand, it's also very likely to be a repeat of that Christmas year. It seems like a lose-lose situation, which is never a good situation. If I were you, I would simply choose not to go and try to ignore anybody who brought up that I didn't go. Now, maybe this isn't the best thing I've ever said, but I would come up with an excuse -- even if it were fake -- as to why I couldn't attend the party. Then, later, spend some time with your grandmother to let her know you still care about her (If you want to, that is). You don't have to tell them anything you don't want to.
When you were kids, you and your brother seem to be the exact same as me and my brother -- he's the perfect, favorite child, and I'm just... There. I get good grades, I don't do anything bad, he picks on me and yet he's still the favorite. It's not fair to you or me.
We're all here for you anytime you want to talk or are feeling down. It's not fair to you to have to go through all this, and you don't deserve to. Again, this may not be the best thing to say, but it seems like the best idea is that you cut them off -- at least temporarily. It might help you, and if anything comes in the mail from them... It may not be worth it to look at.
My suggestions may not be the best in the world, but they're just suggestions. If you want somebody to talk to, you can always PM me on here. I'll answer.
Yes, I'm still working on my stories. But I am restarting them (again). Links will come when they're up.
Come Join The Mafia! | Monthly Simlit Story Challenges
Yes, I'm still working on my stories. But I am restarting them (again). Links will come when they're up.
Come Join The Mafia! | Monthly Simlit Story Challenges
I am telling you from experience that stress is not good for you. I need to avoid it and it is hard when you have people coming at you like that, especially family members. I told my family that I needed to avoid stress and that I was going to remove the stress from my life ( I did not define that either). So now I only speak to one of my brothers. I no longer talk to the other three. Life is better with those three gone and I wont look back because I did nothing wrong, they did. May Karma get them one day for what they have done!
Its hard to lose a loved one, whether it be your parent(s), sibling(s), child(ren) or anyone you are close to. I still miss my Mom after all these years. I wasn't that close to my Dad but I also miss him a lot!
Your Daughter hurts also, but mainly because she see's the hurt that they have caused you. I may be wrong in my suggestions, but here it goes:
Live for now, put that smile back on your face (this is what your Daughter needs right now, to see you smile again). Don't let your family bring you down anymore. Pick yourself up (throwing some of my strength, bull headedness, and stubbornness your way, LOL) Rid them of your life, it is their fault, not yours. I wouldn't go to the party myself, but that is your decision. If you decide to go (knowing what would happen) then you are caving in? If you don't go, then just send her a Birthday Card? I was always like that, making my family happy and doing what they wanted me to do, even though I paid for it! I put up with a lot over the years but not since I was diagnosed with MS. I cut just about everyone off, LOL. But I am still going and I don't look back. My kids are my strength and all I need to keep going! Yes, I might think of some of the good times way back then (I had a lot of good memories growing up, its just been a mess since we all actually grew up, LOL), but I don't dwell on the bad. We cant take back what has already happened, we can only move forward. Life is too short and goes by too fast and if we dwell on all the bad, that is time we are losing.
I only wish the best for you and will support your decision!
*Big Hugs*
So sorry for your loss. It will be hard moving forward, the days ahead are rough ones but that is a road we all have to travel!
Sending hugs your way!
*Hugs to Everyone*