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What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    How to fall down the stairs:
    Step 1
    Step 6
    Step 8, 9, 10 and 11. :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
    More jokes, please. I really enjoy this thread.
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    Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
    If you toss a kitty out a car window does it become....kitty litter?




    Serious answer: No. it becomes a litter of kitties. Please act responsibly.
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I intend to live forever...So far, so good! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    OK then, Science brain-iacs, what's the speed of dark? Lol. :mrgreen:
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    Why did the Centurion not come back from patrol ? He was roman
    What did the eye say to the nose ? i see you're smelly as usual
    What did the owl say at the party ? this is a hoot
    What did the cat say to the raccoon with a plastic bag on its head ? you look like trash
    A man walked up to me and said he hadn't had a bite in days so i bit him .
    What did one mechanic say when the other got electrocuted ? you look shocked
    What did the tree say when it was asked why it was lying on the ground ? Im stumped .
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    xoShellz wrote: »
    I created this new account just to say. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 YOU EA games and any other sims 4 creators. You guys have 🐸🐸🐸🐸 disappointed me to the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 fullest. How the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 am i supposed to be hype about this new 🐸🐸🐸🐸 update when the sims 4 hasn't come out for MAC????!!!!!!! When it does come out for MAC users, that 🐸🐸🐸🐸 better be less expensive i'm not 🐸🐸🐸🐸 paying for a 🐸🐸🐸🐸 game that comes out 10 yrs later after the PC version. i'm here stuck watching youtube vids of the sims4 being played on 🐸🐸🐸🐸 PC. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 youuuuuuuuuuuu and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you sims 4 players y'all all have ugly a_ss sims.

    thats not a one liner but you sure are a joke
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    DeathJohnsonDeathJohnson Posts: 166 Member
    xoShellz wrote: »
    I created this new account just to say. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 YOU EA games and any other sims 4 creators. You guys have 🐸🐸🐸🐸 disappointed me to the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 fullest. How the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 am i supposed to be hype about this new 🐸🐸🐸🐸 update when the sims 4 hasn't come out for MAC????!!!!!!! When it does come out for MAC users, that 🐸🐸🐸🐸 better be less expensive i'm not 🐸🐸🐸🐸 paying for a 🐸🐸🐸🐸 game that comes out 10 yrs later after the PC version. i'm here stuck watching youtube vids of the sims4 being played on 🐸🐸🐸🐸 PC. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 youuuuuuuuuuuu and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you sims 4 players y'all all have ugly a_ss sims.

    thats not a one liner but you sure are a joke

    Well it still made me laugh.
    Insaniac Family Blog: http://sims3insaniac.blogspot.ca/
    My YouTube Channel: http://bit.ly/1xsbrTS (I don't do Sims videos, but you can still check it out and see if there's anything you like)
    My Twitch Channel: http://bit.ly/13Ccp3y
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    Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
    xoShellz wrote: »
    I created this new account just to say. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 YOU EA games and any other sims 4 creators. You guys have 🐸🐸🐸🐸 disappointed me to the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 fullest. How the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 am i supposed to be hype about this new 🐸🐸🐸🐸 update when the sims 4 hasn't come out for MAC????!!!!!!! When it does come out for MAC users, that 🐸🐸🐸🐸 better be less expensive i'm not 🐸🐸🐸🐸 paying for a 🐸🐸🐸🐸 game that comes out 10 yrs later after the PC version. i'm here stuck watching youtube vids of the sims4 being played on 🐸🐸🐸🐸 PC. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 youuuuuuuuuuuu and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you sims 4 players y'all all have ugly a_ss sims.

    thats not a one liner but you sure are a joke

    Put in the 'worse joke" category?
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    Shadoza2 wrote: »
    xoShellz wrote: »
    I created this new account just to say. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 YOU EA games and any other sims 4 creators. You guys have 🐸🐸🐸🐸 disappointed me to the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 fullest. How the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 am i supposed to be hype about this new 🐸🐸🐸🐸 update when the sims 4 hasn't come out for MAC????!!!!!!! When it does come out for MAC users, that 🐸🐸🐸🐸 better be less expensive i'm not 🐸🐸🐸🐸 paying for a 🐸🐸🐸🐸 game that comes out 10 yrs later after the PC version. i'm here stuck watching youtube vids of the sims4 being played on 🐸🐸🐸🐸 PC. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 youuuuuuuuuuuu and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you sims 4 players y'all all have ugly a_ss sims.

    thats not a one liner but you sure are a joke

    Put in the 'worse joke" category?

    naw they're in the give me a break category . besides im pretty sure i dominate the worst one liners lol
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    KATENESSKATENESS Posts: 3,610 Member
    I don't remember the comedian that said this, so I can't give credit. But here goes anyway:

    Someone handing out flyers on a street corner is basically like them saying, "here, you throw this away."
    giphy.gif

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    ENolanENolan Posts: 2,735 Member
    I used to do the best rug impression until I got stepped on.

    (I altered a roast bashing by the great James Norton about his friend.)
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    dreamerz13dreamerz13 Posts: 9,927 Member
    edited December 2014
    xoShellz wrote: »
    I created this new account just to say. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 YOU EA games and any other sims 4 creators. You guys have 🐸🐸🐸🐸 disappointed me to the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 fullest. How the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 am i supposed to be hype about this new 🐸🐸🐸🐸 update when the sims 4 hasn't come out for MAC????!!!!!!! When it does come out for MAC users, that 🐸🐸🐸🐸 better be less expensive i'm not 🐸🐸🐸🐸 paying for a 🐸🐸🐸🐸 game that comes out 10 yrs later after the PC version. i'm here stuck watching youtube vids of the sims4 being played on 🐸🐸🐸🐸 PC. 🐸🐸🐸🐸 youuuuuuuuuuuu and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you sims 4 players y'all all have ugly a_ss sims.

    You could you know, do something besides watch sims 4 videos. Like you could get a life, I think it would help you greatly, you seem like you desperately need something to do besides being on the computer. Just a thought.
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    KATENESSKATENESS Posts: 3,610 Member
    I seem to have lost my motivation. I would get up and go find it but...
    giphy.gif

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    KATENESSKATENESS Posts: 3,610 Member
    Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock: I'm going to show you I can be responsible and finish everything that I
    giphy.gif

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    have2admithave2admit Posts: 2,246 Member
    They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    Why was the man hunting deer ? He owed a friend a few bucks .
    Why did the mailman lose his job ? he went postal

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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    When everything is coming your way...You're in the wrong lane! :mrgreen:
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    Joey2eyeballJoey2eyeball Posts: 1,792 Member
    My friend offered me a job of inspecting mirrors and I could really see myself doing that.
    My name is Joseph, please don't call me Joe or Joey.

    Yours sincerely, Joseph :)
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    x_MG_xx_MG_x Posts: 21,308 Member
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-15759-1372285772-31.gif

    This thread needed an April Ludgate quote.
    BTW, call me Jake.
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    What did the milk say to the egg ? You look beat .
    why was the egg crazy ? it cracked
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    dreamerz13dreamerz13 Posts: 9,927 Member
    Crime doesn't pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?

    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’

    What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
    Oh snap

    What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
    Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

    Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

    What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt

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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    Everybody has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film. :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    My uncle has the heart of a lion...And a lifetime ban from the zoo! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    What bird can lift the most weight? A crane! :mrgreen:
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