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What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

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    HeatdazzleHeatdazzle Posts: 26 New Member
    This isn't really one liner and it's a pickup line but oh well...

    Are your parents bakers? Because they sure do make a cutie pie

    IT'S SO BAD IT'S GOOD
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    If I found a new animal I'd call it a "Quorn" to mess with vegetarians! Lol. :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    edited December 2014
    19 Irishmen go to the cinema. The ticket lady says "Why are there so many of you?" and the men say "The movie says 18 and over". :mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    TheSimDionTheSimDion Posts: 234 Member
    edited December 2014
    Rflong7 wrote: »
    .... That's What She Said! O.O

    4 Sims were walking into a bar- Sim 1 angled passed the bar, Sim 2 walked around the bar, Sim 3 stood there tapping their foot waiting for the bar to move, and Sim 4 walked right through the bar. :blush:
    That was COLD!!!! I hope no devs see this...

    anyway I can't remember if anyone already said this but.... Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    edited December 2014
    I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    So what if some people can't spell 'Armageddon', it's not the end of the world! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    Alphabet spaghetti warning:

    May contain N,U,T and S! :mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    edited December 2014
    I got an email saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards'. I thought "That's just spam".
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    GemBobMarleyGemBobMarley Posts: 423 Member
    edited December 2014
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    How many Paranoid people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    - Who wants to know?
    Who wants to know?
    Just what exactly do you mean by that? :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    The_Mares_NestThe_Mares_Nest Posts: 12 New Member
    Have you ever attended the world manicure championships? It's always a nail biting finish.

    Much better than the Pigs Demolition Derby, which is only full of crashing boars.

    (Take that Becca!) :p
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    Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
    elliskane3 wrote: »
    How many Paranoid people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    - Who wants to know?
    Who wants to know?
    Just what exactly do you mean by that? :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:

    Why? What's wrong with the light bulb that is in there now?
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    nanashi-simsnanashi-sims Posts: 4,140 Member
    A guy walks into a bar... and it hurt.
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    AngelofHeavenAngelofHeaven Posts: 43 Member
    edited December 2014
    Here you go, hopefully this will make you laugh today.

    Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
    *Nobody stands up*
    Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
    *Little Johnny stands up*
    Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
    Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
    Post edited by AngelofHeaven on
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    Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
    Nive pit of magma you got there guess ill toss this annoying ring in there . see ya later old one eye . and say hi to Golem
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    Pensacola2010Pensacola2010 Posts: 229 Member
    Rflong7 wrote: »
    .... That's What She Said! O.O

    4 Sims were walking into a bar- Sim 1 angled passed the bar, Sim 2 walked around the bar, Sim 3 stood there tapping their foot waiting for the bar to move, and Sim 4 walked right through the bar. :blush:

    If they had a "LMAO" button, I would have clicked on that. Best Sims joke ever!
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    AngelofHeavenAngelofHeaven Posts: 43 Member
    Here's another joke to make you smile today, enjoy :D

    A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    edited December 2014
    I thought I wanted a career, it turns out that I just wanted pay-checks! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I used to be indecisive...Now I'm not sure! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    thesimsfairy47thesimsfairy47 Posts: 6,116 Member
    I told Mr Bean that Christmas is just around the corner...he went to check.
    Sims 5 artstyle poll Here
    monday-to-friday-workweek-graphic.jpg
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    GramcrackersGramcrackers Posts: 1,162 Member
    edited December 2014
    How many Tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?


    Tenatacles

    Post edited by Gramcrackers on
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    CrazycatldyCrazycatldy Posts: 4,588 Member
    I have no jokes but this thread has got me laughing. We need a laughing smiley.
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