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    What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

    12357…23

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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      A bus is a vehicle that moves twice as fast when you are chasing it, compared to when you are in it. :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      MiffoShortMiffoShort Posts: 1,901 Member
      Here's a quick joke for you all this evening ;)

      A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."
      The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"
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      AngelofHeavenAngelofHeaven Posts: 43 Member
      Here's one I heard recently:

      Why did the school kids eat their homework?
      Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.
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      AngelofHeavenAngelofHeaven Posts: 43 Member
      edited December 2014
      Here's one I told my husband this morning, hopefully it'll make you laugh too :)

      Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
      "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
      "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
      Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
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      thesimsfairy47thesimsfairy47 Posts: 6,116 Member
      edited December 2014
      It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
      Sims 5 artstyle poll Here
      monday-to-friday-workweek-graphic.jpg
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      AngelofHeavenAngelofHeaven Posts: 43 Member
      I was at work today and mentioned this thread, one of my colleagues Ruby told me this one. It made me laugh so hopefully you'll laugh too :)

      A boy dialled 911:
      Boy: Hello? I need your help!
      911: Alright, What is it?
      Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
      911: So what's your emergency?
      Boy: The ugly one is winning.
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      My friend loves trying to pack himself into a small suitcase...He can hardly contain himself! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      edited December 2014
      Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi, get out! We don't want your type in here!" :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      stilljustme2stilljustme2 Posts: 25,082 Member
      A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar; the bartender looks up and asks, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
      Check out my Gallery! Origin ID: justme22
      Fun must be always -- Tomas Hertl (San Jose Sharks hockey player)
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      stilljustme2stilljustme2 Posts: 25,082 Member
      A dyslexic man walked into a bra...
      Check out my Gallery! Origin ID: justme22
      Fun must be always -- Tomas Hertl (San Jose Sharks hockey player)
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      edited December 2014
      I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but I couldn't find any! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
      Post edited by elliskane3 on
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      SmileyBooSmileyBoo Posts: 2 New Member
      edited December 2014
      Here's a joke that my little sister told me a while back...

      Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
      Father: "Why?"
      Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'"
      Father: "But that's right!"
      Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'"
      Father: "What's the BLOOMING difference you fool?"
      Boy: "That's exactly what I said to her!"
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      thesimsfairy47thesimsfairy47 Posts: 6,116 Member
      I don't like the Russian nesting dolls...they are so full of themselves
      Sims 5 artstyle poll Here
      monday-to-friday-workweek-graphic.jpg
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I always believed that my granddad didn't like us very much. Every Christmas he would give us a 'Slinky', even though he knew we lived in a bungalow. :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      thesimsfairy47thesimsfairy47 Posts: 6,116 Member
      Read my sig ;)
      Sims 5 artstyle poll Here
      monday-to-friday-workweek-graphic.jpg
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      I got so angry the other day when I couldn't find my stress ball! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      edited December 2014
      What do you call someone who points out the obvious?

      Someone who points out the obvious! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      If you want to get away from a trained police dog, then I wouldn't recommend running over a see-saw then jumping through a flaming hoop... (A Milton Jones joke for the eagle eyed amongst you). :mrgreen:
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      Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Read my sig ;)

      I can't see it :disappointed:
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      thesimsfairy47thesimsfairy47 Posts: 6,116 Member
      edited December 2014
      Shadoza2 wrote: »
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Read my sig ;)

      I can't see it :disappointed:


      @Shadoza2
      Here it is as a image :)

      527729_551566231531665_316535291_n.jpg
      Sims 5 artstyle poll Here
      monday-to-friday-workweek-graphic.jpg
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Shadoza2 wrote: »
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Read my sig ;)

      I can't see it :disappointed:

      Here it is as a image :)

      527729_551566231531665_316535291_n.jpg

      I had to give that a second LOL. LOL! :mrgreen:

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      Shadoza2Shadoza2 Posts: 1,579 Member
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Shadoza2 wrote: »
      thesimsfairy47 wrote: »
      Read my sig ;)

      I can't see it :disappointed:


      @Shadoza2
      Here it is as a image :)

      527729_551566231531665_316535291_n.jpg

      Thank you
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      EmmaVaneEmmaVane Posts: 7,847 Member
      2 parrots are sat on a perch... One turns to the other and says "Can you smell fish?"
      Gallery | Play Palia
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