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    What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

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    elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
    in Off Topic Chat
    What are the best/worst one-liner jokes you have?

    Hello again!
    The world is filled with one liner jokes, some are good, and some make you groan and slowly clap at the puns.
    What one-liner jokes can you come up with?

    I'll start us off:
    I wanted to become a plumber...But that's just a pipe dream! :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
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    Comments

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      JennyggJennygg Posts: 1,574 Member
      Save the whales. Collect the whole set. :#
      hC6F85532
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      cauliflowerscauliflowers Posts: 5,782 Member
      You
      TL8ZBmw.gif
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      natashifiednatashified Posts: 3,314 Member
      Are you from Tennessee 'cause your the only ten I see.
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      meganalyssa94meganalyssa94 Posts: 199 Member
      What kind of bees make milk? ........BOOBEES :#
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      meganalyssa94meganalyssa94 Posts: 199 Member
      Or how do you wake up Lady GaGa?

      You poker face! B)

      These are terrible I know! lol
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      elliskane3elliskane3 Posts: 2,050 Member
      A dyslexic person sold his soul to Santa...
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      xBob18xBob18 Posts: 7,893 Member
      Hey babe, how much did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
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      SimChic1SimChic1 Posts: 3,449 Member
      What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

      A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

      Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

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      ImNoComedianImNoComedian Posts: 886 Member
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      BobTheLlamaBobTheLlama Posts: 192 Member
      meganalyssa94 wrote: »
      What kind of bees make milk? ........BOOBEES :#

      That made me wet myself... Thanks. :grin:
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      kati77kati77 Posts: 3,146 Member
      I don't know if these are one-liners strictly speaking, but:

      What do you call a deer that doesn't have eyes? No idea.
      What do you call a deer that doesn't have legs or eyes? Still no idea.
      01-06-18_5-09-41%C2%A0PM_2.png

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      SchweighsrSchweighsr Posts: 3,342 Member
      A skeleton walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
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      5782341b77vl5782341b77vl Posts: 9,149 Member
      I cook with wine. Sometime, it winds up in the food.
      ...AND WASH YOUR DING-DANG HANDS!
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      PlumbobCrossingPlumbobCrossing Posts: 8,455 Member
      Know how to keep a blonde busy?
      Put her in a circular room and tell her to find a corner
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      SpidersWebSpidersWeb Posts: 1,027 Member
      edited November 2014
      Child Friendly: Where do bees go to the toilet? At the BP station **
      Twsited: Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
      Twsited: Two guys walk in to a bar, one asks for H2O, the second for H2O too, the second guy dies.

      (** not sure how many countries have BP, but if your'e not sure what it is, it's a petrol station franchise)
      Performance, Price, Portability - pick two.
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      Fairy_HappyFairy_Happy Posts: 8,903 Member
      I thought this was pretty funny from a show I watched a few years ago.

      You drive on a parkway but park in a driveway.
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      Coffefreak4LifeCoffefreak4Life Posts: 8,082 Member
      Im going to bring out my absolute worst that are actually tellable

      Why didn't the Shetland Pony make a speech ? It was a little horse .
      What do you get when you mix a Scandinavian and an egg ? A bad yolk
      What did one hat say to the other ? I'll go on a head
      What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A: A croaking device.
      What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question with a joke ?

      and then theres this one but you'll just have to watch it
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      JuanaJuana Posts: 840 Member
      bobyo2001 wrote: »
      Hey babe, how much did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
      Ehhh I've only been told the opposite, "Did it hurt when you crawled up through the firy pits of hell?"
      (answer: no, no it did not)
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      Fairy_HappyFairy_Happy Posts: 8,903 Member
      This is one of those Only In America jokes.

      Only in America does one order a double cheeseburger, a large fry and DIET soda. -_-
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      Fairy_HappyFairy_Happy Posts: 8,903 Member
      I found a joke Web site and I found these pretty funny


      Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

      Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

      Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


      Some more Only in America jokes

      Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

      Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering
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