Plumbjam is gone now too, so Ghardenia is still gone (Also, on a side note, I am working on my own retired list, might as well share. https://ifeltlikeposting.wordpress.com/2018/05/19/sims-4-cc-creators-list-of-the-lost/)
When it comes to thing being slightly different heights, you could always try editing meshes from the games itself. There are loads of guides out there.
Do you have MCCC installed? Im pretty sure you can turn on/off these types of relationships in there and also cheat out romantic relationships. You should check their documentation if you have it installed
Personally I like to check first if everything works in game. I tend to merge everyhting from the same creator or either same categories (Like merging a whole bunch of hair) I tend to not do it with script mods, because of random updates that break one and it will become impossible to find the clashing one.