★ The Circle ★ - updated 12/05/2020 «12345...Next Go

pinot_grigio

The Circle is a plot-driven SimLit drama following the lives of six young adults: Kiara, Jackson, Jasmine, Laurie, Brianna and James. The six young adults all become acquainted in San Myshuno City - a place where people come to chase their dreams, find love, make a fortune or in Kiara's case, to start over. Kiara moves in with two strangers she found on the internet, Jackson and Jasmine. Jackson is an extremely privileged drop-kick who is the son of a very powerful man. Jasmine is Jackson's flatmate and childhood friend. Brianna is a hot-shot lawyer working at the biggest firm in the city. Laurie is Brianna's boyfriend and the heir to a multi-million dollar real estate development business. James, a neurosurgeon-in-training, is Laurie's best friend. Over the course of their lives, this group of six sims will uncover a number of secrets, scandals and surprises as they learn what it really means to forgive, find true love, and to be a friend.

You can read the story here. At the moment, I am trying to upload a new chapter every week.

Please feel free to drop me a line here or on the blog! I would love to hear your thoughts.

Happy simming!

ArcherDK

So a country mouse needs some change in her life and moves into big city, where everything looks and feels different. That definitely could be a recipe for some juicy drama.

I very much like your sims - a lot of work has gone into making them look the way they do and it shows.

On the negative, none of the characters are gripping. None of them appear truly interesting so far, at least for me. Also, the group Klara finds herself in are all "son/daughter of someone big and powerful". It certainly alienates her from them, but this tool is a little bit overused IMO.

Looking forward for more

pinot_grigio

ArcherDK wrote: »

So a country mouse needs some change in her life and moves into big city, where everything looks and feels different. That definitely could be a recipe for some juicy drama.

I very much like your sims - a lot of work has gone into making them look the way they do and it shows.

On the negative, none of the characters age gripping. None of them appear truly interesting so far, at least for me. Also, the group Klara finds herself in are all "son/daughter of someone big and powerful". It certainly alienates her from them, but this tool is a little bit overused IMO.

Looking forward for more

Hey @ArcherDK, thank you for taking the time to read my story!

I will definitely try to focus on deeper character development - hopefully they will become a bit more three dimensional soon

ArcherDK

@pinot_grigio Honestly, I can't say that your characters are one-dimensional - far from it. It's just that not much is clearly established and most of that potential depth is left to readers' imagination. For example, Laurie. Handsome, but spoiled lech who gets everything and everyone by his good looks and parent's grace or he simply doesn't have anything else and thus knows little better and he's actually not bad at all? Something else altogether?

Did I guess anything or am I completely wrong?

Regardless, there is definitely a lot of potential. My apologies if I offend or impose.

pinot_grigio

ArcherDK wrote: »

@pinot_grigio Honestly, I can't say that your characters are one-dimensional - far from it. It's just that not much is clearly established and most of that potential depth is left to readers' imagination. For example, Laurie. Handsome, but spoiled lech who gets everything and everyone by his good looks and parent's grace or he simply doesn't have anything else and thus knows little better and he's actually not bad at all? Something else altogether?

Did I guess anything or am I completely wrong?

Regardless, there is definitely a lot of potential. My apologies if I offend or impose.

No offence taken at all, I am very open to receiving feedback and hearing people’s thoughts.

I will let you read on and see if you guessed correctly

15aewar

Oh my goodness! That ending to the second chapter.

I can't wait to see how Kiara responds to Laurie's advances. I kinda hope she says no, because who needs that kind of heartbreak on top of everything else she's been through? On the other hand, I kinda hope she says yes. I love drama.

pinot_grigio

Chapter 3 out now - it's a little NSFW

pinot_grigio

15aewar wrote: »

Oh my goodness! That ending to the second chapter.

I can't wait to see how Kiara responds to Laurie's advances. I kinda hope she says no, because who needs that kind of heartbreak on top of everything else she's been through? On the other hand, I kinda hope she says yes. I love drama.

You didn't have to wait long to find out - chapter 3 is already out

ArcherDK

An interesting chapter with interesting developments.

I kid of expected something like that to happen regarding the bedroom.
An interesting way to back out from compromising Klaras image.

As for everything else - after I've read the first two chapters, I noticed that the whole story so far can be described in one word. Third chapter fits this word perfectly.

Klara will fit in this group just fine...

Anyway - great chapter!

pammiechick

Just wanted to give you a shout out and say I'm following this. It has great potential! Keep it up!

For the story:

I think it's crazy Kiara is in with all these mega rich people! How that happened is very interesting. Happenstance, but it might not be good for her!

Already she compromised her values by being swept up by Laurie's pretty face (here in the states, Laurie is a girl's name! Lol! So I had to get over that. )

And now she's giving him a proposition! I like how she's thinking. But will that be the answer to her job woes and poverty? Hmm...

15aewar

Sooo so so good!

It seems weird that Kiara would ask for anything. I can't imagine she'd want to tell anyone regardless - unless it's a gf she needs to vent to. Then again, that would probably end up biting Laurie in the hindquarters. Maybe Laurie had to be sure she'd keep her mouth shut.

pinot_grigio

pammiechick wrote: »

Just wanted to give you a shout out and say I'm following this. It has great potential! Keep it up!

For the story:

I think it's crazy Kiara is in with all these mega rich people! How that happened is very interesting. Happenstance, but it might not be good for her!

Already she compromised her values by being swept up by Laurie's pretty face (here in the states, Laurie is a girl's name! Lol! So I had to get over that. )

And now she's giving him a proposition! I like how she's thinking. But will that be the answer to her job woes and poverty? Hmm...

Thanks for the shout out!

I didn't even realise Laurie was a girl's names in the states I was inspired to use the name after reading Little Women haha!

Kiara is seduced by the glamorous lifestyle and she's young and naive... We'll see if the job helps her or if it backfires in her face

pinot_grigio

15aewar wrote: »

Sooo so so good!

It seems weird that Kiara would ask for anything. I can't imagine she'd want to tell anyone regardless - unless it's a gf she needs to vent to. Then again, that would probably end up biting Laurie in the hindquarters. Maybe Laurie had to be sure she'd keep her mouth shut.

Glad to hear you are enjoying it!

Exactly, Laurie just had to be sure that Kiara wouldn't tell a soul because secrets travel fast... Kiara realised that she had the upper hand as Laurie was desperate for Kiara not to tell anyone... And since she wasn't having any luck with finding a decent job, she just decided to take a chance!

pinot_grigio

ArcherDK wrote: »

An interesting chapter with interesting developments.

I kid of expected something like that to happen regarding the bedroom.
An interesting way to back out from compromising Klaras image.

As for everything else - after I've read the first two chapters, I noticed that the whole story so far can be described in one word. Third chapter fits this word perfectly.

Klara will fit in this group just fine...

Anyway - great chapter!

What word are you thinking of?!

ArcherDK

@pinot_grigio Before I say anything - under no circumstances it is meant as an insult to you. You're doing great and genuinely like the story

The word would be Rot. First chapter doesn't fit very well, but Klara senses that she is out of her league and that things could go very wrong. In chapter two we have that awesome party, everyone are dressed well, everything is so nice...except Brianna gives her cold shoulder for no reason and ignores her, James (right?) proceeds to get plastered and then there is Laurie. The best part is Klara, though. Not only she agrees to go with him, but even the little details show that this company is right for her. She looks more or less like them. Now granted - she could've learned how to use makeup well, but it still says something. And then there is chapter three. Klara goes with Laurie to participate in infidelity only to see Brianna doing precisely the same. Then Laurie comes to apologize - good move - only to reveal that his relationship with Brianna was nothing but business. More rot. And then she - best part - blackmails Laurie into getting her a good job. Yes, she needed it but it was still a low move. Klara even wonders in the beginning of the third chapter what has happened to her. What if nothing happened and it always has been there? She simply didn't know it. What if Jasmine and Jackson saw it the instant they've met her?

So yeah...Rot. Second word would be "Glamour", but this one is obvious. Everything looks good, smells good, even tastes good, but in the end it's all Rot.

There. Again - this is not in any way an insult and there is no offense intended.

pinot_grigio

ArcherDK wrote: »

@pinot_grigio Before I say anything - under no circumstances it is meant as an insult to you. You're doing great and genuinely like the story

The word would be Rot. First chapter doesn't fit very well, but Klara senses that she is out of her league and that things could go very wrong. In chapter two we have that awesome party, everyone are dressed well, everything is so nice...except Brianna gives her cold shoulder for no reason and ignores her, James (right?) proceeds to get plastered and then there is Laurie. The best part is Klara, though. Not only she agrees to go with him, but even the little details show that this company is right for her. She looks more or less like them. Now granted - she could've learned how to use makeup well, but it still says something. And then there is chapter three. Klara goes with Laurie to participate in infidelity only to see Brianna doing precisely the same. Then Laurie comes to apologize - good move - only to reveal that his relationship with Brianna was nothing but business. More rot. And then she - best part - blackmails Laurie into getting her a good job. Yes, she needed it but it was still a low move. Klara even wonders in the beginning of the third chapter what has happened to her. What if nothing happened and it always has been there? She simply didn't know it. What if Jasmine and Jackson saw it the instant they've met her?

So yeah...Rot. Second word would be "Glamour", but this one is obvious. Everything looks good, smells good, even tastes good, but in the end it's all Rot.

There. Again - this is not in any way an insult and there is no offense intended.

Hahaha it's okay, you don't have to keep saying that your comment is not intended to be an insult, it's all good.

You've made a very insightful observation, I can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.

ArcherDK

pinot_grigio wrote: »

You've made a very insightful observation, I can't wait to see what you think of the next chapter.

I'm looking forward to it. And to seeing how exactly Klara intends to

hold on to her new job and whether or not Laurie screws her over somehow. After all, she is just a little nobody country mouse. Who's going to believe her word? She is against very rich and influential people. Leverage works both ways.

pinot_grigio

Chapter 4 is out now!

ArcherDK

Just finished reading the new chapter. The intrigue intensifies!

So far, the chapter fits the word to the tee. I like how Jackson and Jasmine - until now two more "reasonable" , so to speak, people in this group, don't even bother denying that this is"San Myshuno lifestyle". And then Kiara is just a little bit happy that Jackson pushes her into coming. Of course she is - she wanted to go all along. Soon SHE will be dragging THEM places.

About Dano - that's bad luck right there. But at least Jasmine gets to reveal a little bit of rot in herself.

Keep up the good work!

pammiechick

Aw...saw this late!

Maybe Jackson will tell off Kiara’s ex!

I’m secretly shipping her and Jackson (and NOT Laurie! Hee!)

pinot_grigio

Chapter 5 is out now!

ArcherDK

Just finished reading. A lot of new interesting developments.

I like how Laurie is becoming a laughing stock of this story. He's so desperate to get on Kiara's good side (whatever his motives) and it's just so amusing to see something always turning up to go like "Nope!"

Now I can't help to think VERY low about Jasmine. Whatever strings she's pulled (or whomever she's buttered up, if you know what I mean), she got Dano fired. Now granted, breaking Kiara's hears was a low move, but taking away his way to make a living? I dunno. Seems a little bit TOO low. This actually resonates very well with the fact that Kiara had to use blackmail to get herself a job. It's all so...Rotten.

Michael. Honestly I like his attitude - he's spent his life building this company and now his son is mucking about like that. Of course he's angry. The problem is that he will probably take out his anger on Kiara, too.

It seems that Kiara is making a lot of enemies. Michael could just say so and Kiara loses her job and no one will believe her word - Michael will not allow one nobody's word to tarnishthe imae of his company and (I hope) Laurie is not dumb enough to admit his faults.. Kiara is a tine fish surrounded by sharks and orcas. And then there is Dano. Who know what connections HE has? Or what he can actually DO? He blames Kiara, remember.

Also - could Kiara just once IGNORE a handsome man in front of her? I mean, it's just not doing her any favors at this point.

An excellent chapter!

15aewar

@ArcherDK I'm really hoping Kiara is a quick learner. Kern Industries doesn't sound like a place where they overlook mistakes. (Not that I blame them. )
@pinot_grigio I loved that chapter. Laurie and Eric look a lot alike. Are they related?

They certainly seem to be competing against each other. Did he rat on Laurie?

ArcherDK

@15aewar Unfortunately, She's already shown that she is. The question is - does she learn work skills as fast as manipulation?

mercuryfoam

I just realised you have a forum thread! Now I can write longer comments lol.

I feel really bad for Darlo. If Jasmine had something to do with his losing his job, I think its pretty uncalled for. She should wait to have both sides of the story. His very punchable face from last chapter seem to imply that he left the relationship still feeling cordial for her, so there might be a very different perspective towards why they ended. I know its a bunch of speculation at this point.
Hmm.. is there a need to interrupt Laurie like that? Eric is interesting. I'm reserving judgement for now. But there's something going on. and quoting 15aewar above, they look really alike. You did mention it was a family business.

Laurie's dad seem to have a low opinion of him. Interesting, especially if Eric is his sibling. Laurie is in a very poor position then. To work for a boss that doesn't value you, let alone father! That's going to cause some very dire confidence problems.

pinot_grigio

15aewar wrote: »

@ArcherDK I'm really hoping Kiara is a quick learner. Kern Industries doesn't sound like a place where they overlook mistakes. (Not that I blame them. )
@pinot_grigio I loved that chapter. Laurie and Eric look a lot alike. Are they related?

They certainly seem to be competing against each other. Did he rat on Laurie?

Yes - Eric is Laurie's cousin. It was mentioned briefly in Chapter 3: "... my parents are going to give my spot at Kerr Industries to my cousin Eric".

Eric never purposely sabotaged Laurie, but Eric is frustrated that despite doing well at work, he isn't next in line to take over the business because he isn't Michael's son. But Eric knows that if Laurie screws up, the business will fall to him. Laurie is envious of Eric because he is older, wiser and actually thrives in the workplace, whereas he just seems to be messing things up all the time.