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Help me decide what happens next
JAL
Posts: 1,071 Member
My latest sim, Melissa, has gotten into a spot of trouble and she needs advice. She is in her mid twenties, goes to college and lives in a dorm and has been trying to juggling studies with finding "the one". As she comes from a bit of a messy childhood, with a dead-beat dad, a single mom struggling to make ends meet while living with the grandparents to eventually a hot-headed, evil, neat-freak for a step-dad, she has put very high standards on herself. She is not going to settle - she wants true love, a fantastic home, and a perfect family life.
Her traits are perfectionist, arrogant and family orientated, and her current aspiration "soul mate" which she always intended to change to "super parent" once she was married and having her first child.
However, she had not counted on getting pregnant right now.
Last night was the summer solstice, and Melissa went partying. She has been a bit down because her soul mate aspiration hasn't been going all that well. She's had a few dates which has all ended poorly and while there are a few potentials nothing much has happened. Well at the party things happened. A keg happened, and all of a sudden she has made out with a couple of guys and whoohooed in a bush with one (her first woohoo). And now she is pregnant. (A bit funny that the perfectionist forgot about birth control).
Now Melissa wants you to know that she is definitely NOT easy, and this was not her normal behaviour. But regardless, she is where she is - pregnant with a guy she hardly knows (she knows he loves books, which is a good thing), while tentatively sort of falling for another (they just exchanged numbers), and living in a dorm halfway through her education. So what does she do now?
Moreover, I advise that the cart button must be destroyed!
Help me decide what happens next 59 votes
She keeps the baby, marries the father of the child and make the best of the situation
6%
4 votes
She keeps the baby, but keep dating until she finds her "one" (which could possibly include the father or someone else)
67%
40 votes
She doesn't keep the baby, and save pregnancy for when she's ready for it
13%
8 votes
Another option (write in comments)
11%
7 votes
0
Comments
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
Anyway, given the premises ("she has put very high standards on herself. She is not going to settle - she wants true love, a fantastic home, and a perfect family life") and her traits ("perfectionist, arrogant and family orientated"), to me she doesn't sound at all like someone who would easily accept any compromise to her original "perfect family" plan.
I don't think she would accept to marry someone who is basically a stranger to her, even more so because of her relationship with her dad and stepdad which, probably, made it harder for her to trust others at the beginning of a sentimental relationship. On the other hand, to carry on the pregnancy now would mean to make a ton of compromises (she would have to leave the dorm and find another home, find a job to make enough money for her and the kid, try to continue with her studies and, in the little time left, try to look for a serious relationship), and considering her aspirations and the high expectations she put on her she would risk feel unhappy and unsatisfied if she followed this route.
To me, she sounds like someone who would seriously take into consideration to end this unexpected pregnancy, for then focusing again on her current aspirations (finding a soul mate, graduating, and starting together their perfect family, hopefully). In either case, anyway, this is definitively not an easy choice for her...
Of course she shouldn't settle for anyone that she's not in love with just because she's pregnant. She's an adult and she made a mistake but it doesn't mean that she should make another one.
Having a baby shouldn't stop her for getting an education or finding the soulmate, the love of her life. She can do it.
Oh thank goodness she just woke up from that nightmare!
Second chance! Tonight is the summer solstice party for real, but this time ‘round she knows exactly which dude and what bush to avoid. 😆
This would cause her some headaches in the short term, as she may need to move out of the dorm in order to give birth.
The adoption can be done via Manage Households. I just checked in my game to see if babies can be transferred between households this way, and they can. It will not work to have the adoptive parents try to adopt in gameplay via the computer.
So for your story, this option would give her a rough semester, followed by sadness at saying goodbye but relief at knowing baby is with a family that can care for them well, and the ability to work on herself and get to a place where she can have children with the right partner in the future and raise them well.
And then... will she have a relationship with her first child later in life? Will the child come and find her somehow?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Melissa says you are the friend she didn't know she had as you can obviously read her mind and emotions and truly understand what is going on in her head. She says she will try to go on a proper date with the father first, to see if he could possibly be the one before making her final decision, but she is very much leaning towards this solution.
To everyone else who answered (and voted), thank you, as well. This might not have been the option in the poll that got most votes, but @HermioneSims (LOVE the name by the way) got her reasoning just right (I just didn't know it for sure until I read it).
As for a nightmare option - that would be cheating, and Melissa says she is not the cheating type (she is very firm about that). As for adopting the baby away, that would be the last thing she'd do, given her history with a father who didn't want her and her twin brother, and a step-dad from hell. No, if she is keeping the baby, she's raising it, and right now she says she'll only do that if she's marrying the father, and that is only if she believes he could be the one. The option to return to her mum and step-dad to live there and raise the baby is way too close to her mother's story, with the exception that her mother was loved by both her parents and while her mother loves her, Kenneth (step-dad) does not, and she doesn't even want to hear what he has to say about all of this. No, thank you.
So thank you everyone who answered and now Melissa feels she knows which answer is right for her.
I'm happy to read you found my comment useful!
Go Melissa, this is one of the hardest choices in your life, but the most important thing is to find the best answer for you. Good luck!
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I did pick to keep the baby since it makes sense as a family oriented Sim for her to keep and raise a baby despite circumstances not going the way she initially planned. But that's just my interpretation.
Tales From The Myst
The Blue Moon Jukebox
She gets rid of the baby, focus's on her books and get that degree she went there to get. Stop looking for "the one". The "one" got her pregnant. In the bushes where she made out with "a couple" of guy's no less. Sounds to me like Melissa is looking for not the "one" but for "anyone". Don't let that "Soul Mate" aspiration become "Check Mate" for some Romeo, Cassanova, Don Juan type.
In real life you get rid of the baby. It was a one night stand. Ditch the dad. He didn't want it anyway. Get back to the books. And stop looking for "the one". The "One" is looking for you. You will find each other.
If she does give birth, but she still doesn’t feel ready to be a mother just yet—and does not want to sacrifice some things for her child’s well-being—then maybe she could put the baby up for adoption, as an alternative option?
If she keeps the baby, then I think she should wait for “the one”, and not just settle with the father just because she got pregnant by him. Let her get to know the father and the other guys. Take her time to get to know the guys while also doing her studying and taking care of baby. Her true love would be understanding of her situation, and maybe even help her out. A true test of character for the potential soul mate…
(She/her)