The Gallery will be under maintenance beginning May 30th at 6am PT & will be unavailable. All creations, comments, likes & downloads will be saved & restored once the Gallery is back up.
It's Patch day! The latest update is now live for The Sims 4 which includes bug fixes, console improvements, and more. Click
here to read the notes.
May 26th - It's time for our Friday Highlights! You can check them out
here!
Sims are Divorcing: Who gets What?
Return to top
Comments
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
I'm curious. What did you do to try and save the relationship? Did you play with autonomy on and no directing your sims' behavior? I know a lot of storytellers manufacture drama but at the end of the day I've always thought sims do whatever we want them to do.
I've been there, done that. Despite my best control efforts, the negative sentiment was causing them to do mean interactions to each other every single time I let my guard down even for a minute. It was exhausting patching their relationship up. Even with autonomy off, sims still queue social interactions automatically when they are socializing.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
Unless he owned that house before they married, that's an extremely narrow view. You are basically measuring their contribution to the marriage purely in dollars-earned and devaluing any contribution a person makes in any other way. You're also taking the stance that he was not a part of the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mom.
Don't reward the patriarchy for keeping others down, dude.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
Whoa whoa whoa. You are really hard on Frederico. OP hasn't stated that he's the reason for the divorce or that he's this terrible person who forced Carmen to be a stay-at-home mom. It just seems like the two aren't working out as a couple anymore, which happens sometimes.
Also, your comment on the first page was basically saying all Frederico was good for was his money anyway. Basically, you accused him of only contributing to the family with dollars earned and assume he doesn't contribute to the family in any other way. OP stated the kids have a great relationship with both parents, so it seems like both Carmen and Frederico are actively involved in their children's life.
My post here that you quoted was just pointing out that saying "he should keep the house" simply because he was the one working seriously devalues her contributions as a stay at home mom and also completely discounts his role in the fact that she was a stay at home mom in the first place.
Unless he owned that house before that marriage, he absolutely doesn't deserve to keep it simply because he was the one who was going to work every day. The stay at home mom has far more value to a family unit than the bread winner. A lottery ticket can fill the role of the latter if you get lucky enough. Nothing but a mom can fill that role.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
I dont disagree, but putting the kids to bed at 8 on school nights and checking over their assignments doesnt exactly keep the lights and water on. Im in favor of SAHMs still having some form of financial independence in case the relationship goes south. A little something of their own to fall back on. What if the household has weekly high bills that only a good job/successful side gigs can easily take care of? If Carmen wishes to keep a stable environment for the children she's going to have to join the workforce or pick up a paintbrush at some point. Otherwise the household's money is gonna dwindle and the kids are wondering why the repo man is taking away the fridge and the kitchen sink.
In my case there was only one child, and the husband wasn't actually the biological father...and he had the Hates Children trait, so it was a lot easier to decide what to do. I've added the now-divorced mother and her child to my played sim rotation and am trying to juggle getting her a university degree, raise the child, and earn enough to keep them fed and housed. Real fun.
The seed money I got for her was by selling the house where she had lived with her (now ex-) husband and splitting the money 50/50. She and her daughter now live in a low-rent apartment in Evergreen Harbor. But the child IS happy. Ultimately, the child's happiness doesn't actually require a 'lot' of money in the Sims...much like irl, money is over-rated. You don't need a lot, you just need enough.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
I agree that he should keep the house unless he owned the house prior to their marriage. I do think that breadwinners are equally valuable to the family. They can provide a financially stable home and upbringing for children to grow up in. The children are able to focus on their school and just having a happy childhood, and they never need to worry if they are going to be able to eat tonight or if they are going to lose their home. Sure, Carmen could win the lottery and never have to worry about money ever again, but winning the lottery is incredibly rare. That's not to say Carmen doesn't contribute financially. She may easily have a hobby like painting that could earn money on the side. Taking care of children full time is no joke either, so I don't want to devalue any of Carmen's contributions to the family. She's equally as important to the family.
I'd like to let my imagination go wild for a moment and say that Frederico may not be just the breadwinner; He's a loving dad and husband, too. Maybe Carmen cooks dinner but Frederico does the dishes. Maybe Frederico spends his nights helping the kids with their homework and tucks them in so Carmen could have a little time to unwind at night. Maybe Frederico takes the kids to the park on the weekends so Carmen could have a free day to spend with her friends. @MyriadSims never said anyone was at fault for their marriage failing. Maybe it's just they realized they weren't compatible as a couple anymore.
Ideally, if my Sims were in this situation, I would most likely have my Sims sell their house and the stay-at-home parent finds something a little more affordable and looks for a job. The two parents would have shared custody. Maybe each parents gets two weeks with the children and they alternate holidays.
I do have some personal investment in the issue, as I had a stay at home mom who was constantly being undervalued by my father who worked far too much. It damaged our relationship to the point we didn't speak until I was in my mid 20's and realized I should just get over-it. Thankfully we made amends before my mum passed, which she did quite young.
But yah, mostly I'm just being dramatic for the sense of fun.
The Winters family Tree --- My Mods
Anyway, I wanna know what happens next. I'm here for the midlife crisis arc.
He is not. His work schedule, maybe, but moreover it's just the natural drift of the wind (metaphor) that drove them apart.
I had them just bond, then Fred went to work. I also had him just do things aorund the house, and they came lcose but ultimately it was decided they should divorce (I also used a wheel spinner (yes/no/yes/no type stuff) and it said no.