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Sims are Divorcing: Who gets What?

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  • MyriadSimsMyriadSims Posts: 1,197 Member
    I just realized a great irony of this day. It's love day.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    @MyriadSims, Glad you kept the kids together at least. IMO, the worst possible outcome of all of this was any solution that involved splitting them up. Divorce is hard enough on kids as it is without also splitting them from their siblings.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • simgirl1010simgirl1010 Posts: 35,708 Member
    Carmen gets all 3
    MyriadSims wrote: »
    It is 5:04 PM in my game on Friday. They were not able to patch tihngs up enough and have divorced. The poll has Carmen getting the kids and the house, and so she shall, but the kids will live with their father on weekends (starting tomorrow in my game.) Frederico will move into a house nearby.

    I'm curious. What did you do to try and save the relationship? Did you play with autonomy on and no directing your sims' behavior? I know a lot of storytellers manufacture drama but at the end of the day I've always thought sims do whatever we want them to do.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    Even with user control sims who have gotten in an argument badly enough to get a negative sentiment can be REALLY hard to patch things up with. Unless you are willing to give it a lot of time for the sentiment to finally wear off and take extreme measures to keep them separated until that happens (so that they don't refresh the negative sentiment).

    I've been there, done that. Despite my best control efforts, the negative sentiment was causing them to do mean interactions to each other every single time I let my guard down even for a minute. It was exhausting patching their relationship up. Even with autonomy off, sims still queue social interactions automatically when they are socializing.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • simgirl1010simgirl1010 Posts: 35,708 Member
    Carmen gets all 3
    Thanks @Stormkeep. I hadn't considered the negative sentiment.
  • InuMiroLoverInuMiroLover Posts: 1,184 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets the kids but not the house
    Disregard my vote, I really meant for the last option. But if you ask me, Carmen should not have gotten the house. (This is why we sign pre-nups!) Unless she's planning on entering the workforce and not living off child support payments I dont think she should have gotten it. Joint custody all the way.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    Carmen gets all 3
    Disregard my vote, I really meant for the last option. But if you ask me, Carmen should not have gotten the house. (This is why we sign pre-nups!) Unless she's planning on entering the workforce and not living off child support payments I dont think she should have gotten it. Joint custody all the way.

    Unless he owned that house before they married, that's an extremely narrow view. You are basically measuring their contribution to the marriage purely in dollars-earned and devaluing any contribution a person makes in any other way. You're also taking the stance that he was not a part of the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mom.
    Don't reward the patriarchy for keeping others down, dude.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • NightlyCoffeeNightlyCoffee Posts: 455 Member
    Frederico gets all 3
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    Disregard my vote, I really meant for the last option. But if you ask me, Carmen should not have gotten the house. (This is why we sign pre-nups!) Unless she's planning on entering the workforce and not living off child support payments I dont think she should have gotten it. Joint custody all the way.

    Unless he owned that house before they married, that's an extremely narrow view. You are basically measuring their contribution to the marriage purely in dollars-earned and devaluing any contribution a person makes in any other way. You're also taking the stance that he was not a part of the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mom.
    Don't reward the patriarchy for keeping others down, dude.

    Whoa whoa whoa. You are really hard on Frederico. OP hasn't stated that he's the reason for the divorce or that he's this terrible person who forced Carmen to be a stay-at-home mom. It just seems like the two aren't working out as a couple anymore, which happens sometimes.

    Also, your comment on the first page was basically saying all Frederico was good for was his money anyway. Basically, you accused him of only contributing to the family with dollars earned and assume he doesn't contribute to the family in any other way. OP stated the kids have a great relationship with both parents, so it seems like both Carmen and Frederico are actively involved in their children's life.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    @NightlyCoffee, My original post was trying to be dramatic. That's what sims is about for me. :lol:

    My post here that you quoted was just pointing out that saying "he should keep the house" simply because he was the one working seriously devalues her contributions as a stay at home mom and also completely discounts his role in the fact that she was a stay at home mom in the first place.
    Unless he owned that house before that marriage, he absolutely doesn't deserve to keep it simply because he was the one who was going to work every day. The stay at home mom has far more value to a family unit than the bread winner. A lottery ticket can fill the role of the latter if you get lucky enough. Nothing but a mom can fill that role.
    Post edited by Stormkeep on
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  • InuMiroLoverInuMiroLover Posts: 1,184 Member
    Carmen gets the kids but not the house
    @Stormkeep
    I dont disagree, but putting the kids to bed at 8 on school nights and checking over their assignments doesnt exactly keep the lights and water on. Im in favor of SAHMs still having some form of financial independence in case the relationship goes south. A little something of their own to fall back on. What if the household has weekly high bills that only a good job/successful side gigs can easily take care of? If Carmen wishes to keep a stable environment for the children she's going to have to join the workforce or pick up a paintbrush at some point. Otherwise the household's money is gonna dwindle and the kids are wondering why the repo man is taking away the fridge and the kitchen sink.

  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    :lol: Trust me, @InuMiroLover I hear where you're coming from. I just went through something similiar in my game where one of my played sims broke up a marriage due to romantic involvement with the mom. She wasn't a stay-at-home mom, but she was low-income compared to her husband, as a tier 1 bartender.

    In my case there was only one child, and the husband wasn't actually the biological father...and he had the Hates Children trait, so it was a lot easier to decide what to do. I've added the now-divorced mother and her child to my played sim rotation and am trying to juggle getting her a university degree, raise the child, and earn enough to keep them fed and housed. Real fun.
    The seed money I got for her was by selling the house where she had lived with her (now ex-) husband and splitting the money 50/50. She and her daughter now live in a low-rent apartment in Evergreen Harbor. But the child IS happy. Ultimately, the child's happiness doesn't actually require a 'lot' of money in the Sims...much like irl, money is over-rated. You don't need a lot, you just need enough.
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • NightlyCoffeeNightlyCoffee Posts: 455 Member
    Frederico gets all 3
    @Stormkeep I'm sorry. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone is being serious or not through text. I hope I didn't come across as combative. I have a soft spot for dads.

    I agree that he should keep the house unless he owned the house prior to their marriage. I do think that breadwinners are equally valuable to the family. They can provide a financially stable home and upbringing for children to grow up in. The children are able to focus on their school and just having a happy childhood, and they never need to worry if they are going to be able to eat tonight or if they are going to lose their home. Sure, Carmen could win the lottery and never have to worry about money ever again, but winning the lottery is incredibly rare. That's not to say Carmen doesn't contribute financially. She may easily have a hobby like painting that could earn money on the side. Taking care of children full time is no joke either, so I don't want to devalue any of Carmen's contributions to the family. She's equally as important to the family.

    I'd like to let my imagination go wild for a moment and say that Frederico may not be just the breadwinner; He's a loving dad and husband, too. Maybe Carmen cooks dinner but Frederico does the dishes. Maybe Frederico spends his nights helping the kids with their homework and tucks them in so Carmen could have a little time to unwind at night. Maybe Frederico takes the kids to the park on the weekends so Carmen could have a free day to spend with her friends. @MyriadSims never said anyone was at fault for their marriage failing. Maybe it's just they realized they weren't compatible as a couple anymore.

    Ideally, if my Sims were in this situation, I would most likely have my Sims sell their house and the stay-at-home parent finds something a little more affordable and looks for a job. The two parents would have shared custody. Maybe each parents gets two weeks with the children and they alternate holidays.
  • StormkeepStormkeep Posts: 7,632 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    No worries @NightlyCoffee, just always know that anything I ever type here, unless I'm helping someone try to resolve a problem with the game, is almost always in the spirit of fun and finding ways to make the game dramatic.

    I do have some personal investment in the issue, as I had a stay at home mom who was constantly being undervalued by my father who worked far too much. It damaged our relationship to the point we didn't speak until I was in my mid 20's and realized I should just get over-it. Thankfully we made amends before my mum passed, which she did quite young.

    But yah, mostly I'm just being dramatic for the sense of fun. :)
    This post will be edited by StormKeep at some point.
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  • NikkihNikkih Posts: 1,758 Member
    edited March 2022
    Carmen gets all 3
    I would say Carmen gets the 3 kids living with her and the house if shes a good parent, but the father gets to see his children when he wants to and the kids can have sleepovers at their dads back and forward, on those nights Carmen gets to have time to herself
  • GordyGordy Posts: 3,015 Member
    edited March 2022
    They split the kids: Specify, along with who gets the house in this scenario
    I do kinda feel bad that one parent gets everything, and the other gets the short end of the stick despite doing nothing wrong. But then again, it's realistic. And it's not like Frederico is cut off from his kids or anything. He can still see them, and Carmen isn't keeping them away from him.

    Anyway, I wanna know what happens next. I'm here for the midlife crisis arc.
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  • DoloresGreyDoloresGrey Posts: 3,490 Member
    I would also like to get another update on the famil-y/ies
    -probably just playing Phasmophobia :p
  • MyriadSimsMyriadSims Posts: 1,197 Member
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    Disregard my vote, I really meant for the last option. But if you ask me, Carmen should not have gotten the house. (This is why we sign pre-nups!) Unless she's planning on entering the workforce and not living off child support payments I dont think she should have gotten it. Joint custody all the way.

    Unless he owned that house before they married, that's an extremely narrow view. You are basically measuring their contribution to the marriage purely in dollars-earned and devaluing any contribution a person makes in any other way. You're also taking the stance that he was not a part of the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mom.
    Don't reward the patriarchy for keeping others down, dude.

    Whoa whoa whoa. You are really hard on Frederico. OP hasn't stated that he's the reason for the divorce or that he's this terrible person who forced Carmen to be a stay-at-home mom. It just seems like the two aren't working out as a couple anymore, which happens sometimes.

    Also, your comment on the first page was basically saying all Frederico was good for was his money anyway. Basically, you accused him of only contributing to the family with dollars earned and assume he doesn't contribute to the family in any other way. OP stated the kids have a great relationship with both parents, so it seems like both Carmen and Frederico are actively involved in their children's life.

    He is not. His work schedule, maybe, but moreover it's just the natural drift of the wind (metaphor) that drove them apart.
  • MyriadSimsMyriadSims Posts: 1,197 Member
    MyriadSims wrote: »
    It is 5:04 PM in my game on Friday. They were not able to patch tihngs up enough and have divorced. The poll has Carmen getting the kids and the house, and so she shall, but the kids will live with their father on weekends (starting tomorrow in my game.) Frederico will move into a house nearby.

    I'm curious. What did you do to try and save the relationship? Did you play with autonomy on and no directing your sims' behavior? I know a lot of storytellers manufacture drama but at the end of the day I've always thought sims do whatever we want them to do.

    I had them just bond, then Fred went to work. I also had him just do things aorund the house, and they came lcose but ultimately it was decided they should divorce (I also used a wheel spinner (yes/no/yes/no type stuff) and it said no.
  • ElliandreElliandre Posts: 2,468 Member
    Carmen gets all 3
    I picked Carmen to keep the kids and house, because she was already managing the home full-time and being a full-time parent, and the Dad was already working full-time and so likely having a lot of weekend time with his kids, so this seems like the most familiar arrangement for the kids where they would have to go through the least change in their routine and living environment. I'm curious as to how you would arrange weekends at another parent's house though. Do you just have the kids go there and stay on the lot, or do you actually transfer them to the other household in the manager on weekends?
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