To kick off our first week of our story of the week discussion here are my answers to some of the generic questions that @15aewar posted. Answered in response to her story "The Shadow Over Newcrest"
What was your initial reaction to the book? Did it hook you immediately, or take some time to get into?
I would say a bit of both. It was a fairly slow start but at the same time I was hooked immeadiately just because it was weird and made me want to keep reading in the hope of figuring out answers as to what was going on.
Do you think the story was plot-based or character driven?
I would say it feels more plot driven. The characters are there and there's nothing wrong with them but it really feels like the story revolves more around the overarching narrative than the specific characters involved.
What was your favorite quote/passage?
One of my favorite lines is from Prologue: Chapter 2
"Life in the cupola is very much the same as it has always has been; same curtains, same sink for washing, same three meals per day. If I did not have the Newcrest Gazette, my books, or your letters, I would have gone completely mad long ago. For the moment, I am only halfway there."
I just love that point it makes about how he's staying sane because of the letters and his books but then has that little bit on the end to emphasized that he's still halfway mad.
What made the setting unique or important? Could the story have taken place anywhere?
To me the setting is very important as a result that you have added in lore and history to it making the location itself more of a place that has ties to the story rather than just a place for the story to take place in.
How credible/believable did you find the narrator to be? Did you feel like you got the 'true' story?
I have found the narrators so far to be fairly credible, at the very least I haven't gotten the sense that they are intentionally lying. and within the style and tone of the book the characters have been believable.
"Which character did you relate to the most, and what was it about them that you connected with?"
Honestly the character I most relate to is Bliss. So far she comes across as a character very much like the reader who is kind of on the outskirts of everything trying to piece things together and figure out what's happening as opposed to someone like Alexander who is in the middle of it.
To kick off our first week of our story of the week discussion here are my answers to some of the generic questions that @15aewar posted. Answered in response to her story "The Shadow Over Newcrest"
What was your initial reaction to the book? Did it hook you immediately, or take some time to get into?
I would say a bit of both. It was a fairly slow start but at the same time I was hooked immeadiately just because it was weird and made me want to keep reading in the hope of figuring out answers as to what was going on.
Do you think the story was plot-based or character driven?
I would say it feels more plot driven. The characters are there and there's nothing wrong with them but it really feels like the story revolves more around the overarching narrative than the specific characters involved.
What was your favorite quote/passage?
One of my favorite lines is from Prologue: Chapter 2
"Life in the cupola is very much the same as it has always has been; same curtains, same sink for washing, same three meals per day. If I did not have the Newcrest Gazette, my books, or your letters, I would have gone completely mad long ago. For the moment, I am only halfway there."
I just love that point it makes about how he's staying sane because of the letters and his books but then has that little bit on the end to emphasized that he's still halfway mad.
What made the setting unique or important? Could the story have taken place anywhere?
To me the setting is very important as a result that you have added in lore and history to it making the location itself more of a place that has ties to the story rather than just a place for the story to take place in.
How credible/believable did you find the narrator to be? Did you feel like you got the 'true' story?
I have found the narrators so far to be fairly credible, at the very least I haven't gotten the sense that they are intentionally lying. and within the style and tone of the book the characters have been believable.
"Which character did you relate to the most, and what was it about them that you connected with?"
Honestly the character I most relate to is Bliss. So far she comes across as a character very much like the reader who is kind of on the outskirts of everything trying to piece things together and figure out what's happening as opposed to someone like Alexander who is in the middle of it.
Awesome! I think I'll wait for @pronterus 's reply before I respond, if that's alright with you. Also, don't forget to include any questions you have!
EDIT: One more thing! Here's the latest chapter of the Shadow Over Newcrest. It's not much, but I was feeling lazy my brain wasn't feeling super creative today.
@15aewar You can go ahead and reply, I'm a bit busy at work this week and will probably be reviewing a game coming out.
Okay then. @AuroraLockwood , do you have any questions about anything in the story? Comments? Tips for improvement?
@15aewar So far most questions I have are just things that are likely to be revealed as the story progresses. I will say that you have improved at writing the letters in a manner that comes across more believable as a letter, particularly with the aforementioned Bliss.
Also I think I've mentioned this before but I really like the theatrical styling you do where you write some sections in the form of a script. This is just my personal opinion but I feel like it gives a nice kind of old fashioned feel to it which works well with the story.
Just a reminder that we currently have our story of the week discussion going on through this coming Sunday regarding @15aewar The Shadow Over Newcrest Story. So if you have any thoughts, comments, or things you'd like to discuss regarding the story feel free to jump in. Lurkers are more than welcome to join in the discussion as well
After much dithering on whether to wait until I'm finished with the video, the latest chapter of the Shadow Over Newcrest is finally here!
Alexander and Mortimer find Simon's old chest. What they find inside leaves Mortimer in shock...
rendorasims.wordpress.com/chapters/prologue-chapter-ix/
As Monday rolls around the story of the week shifts to @pronterus with his story Undead With Benefits. You are of course still free to respond to previous discussions and talk about other stories but please try and give some focus to feedback/comments/discussion regarding the story of the week.
As Monday rolls around the story of the week shifts to @pronterus with his story Undead With Benefits. You are of course still free to respond to previous discussions and talk about other stories but please try and give some focus to feedback/comments/discussion regarding the story of the week.
Don't forget to add the questions you want to use!
I'll probably post some generic questions as well as some questions of my own. Which will probably be later this Tuesday afternoon. I still need to catch up with @15aewar 's story; was busy last week with work and a video game I had to review.
Just caught up with @15aewar 's story. I answered a few questions.
"What was your initial reaction to the book? Did it hook you immediately, or take some time to get into?"
I really can't say right now since the story has just started, but what caught my attention was when the Watcher was mentioned in a recent chapter. I like how a mysterious figure is being foreshadowed, so I'll expect this Watcher in a future chapter.
"What made the setting unique or important? Could the story have taken place anywhere?"
Newcrest is kinda like a blank slate town, so anything is possible. But the eerie setting of the town kinda gives it a Forgotten Hollow vibe, which is a perfect setting for a story like this.
"Did the book change your opinion or perspective about anything? Do you feel different now than you did before you read it?"
I've never read anything with a Lovecraftian Horror theme before, but I have had a general idea of it for a while now, especially through video games I've played before with the same theme.
Looking forward to reading the other chapters
EDIT
Anyway, here are some generic questions I've prepared; I just modified them a bit:
Who is your favorite character in the story so far?
Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
How original and unique is the story?
Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
Which scene did you like the best so far?
Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
Was the ending of the first arc satisfying? Do you think the encounter with the Don was too brief?
@pronterus I'm only up to chapter 6 so far but here are my current thoughts (I will post more later as I continue my way through).
1. Who is your favorite character in the story so far?
I haven't caught up yet but so far it's a close tie between Preston and Antonio. Preston is just always making me laugh and Antonio I can't quite put a finger on I just like him.
2. Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Westfall. I just find him kind of irritating. I get that it's kind of the point for him to be like that but all the same he gets on my nerves so he's my least favorite character.
3. Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
I was hooked by quickly by the more serious first chapter and then fully drawn in by the humor in the second. It was a nice set up that in my opinion a lot of comedy based stories in various genre's tend to mess up. They spend so much time initially trying to be funny that they forget to also hook the audience with the characters/story in the process.
4. Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Nothing has been overly distracting that I can really think of. The POV and timeline so far has been fairly straightforward and easy to follow.
5. Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
No major growth so far that I've noticed but as mentioned I'm still working my way through. The primary growth I've notice is for Park who seems to have become much more comfortable in his role than his initial nervous self.
5. Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
The archon's meeting. The idea of a vampire party just sounds fun, at least if you're a vampire. As a normal human probably not quite as much
6. In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Preston probably. While I like many of the characters he's the only one I think I would personally get along with as a result of the more humorous aspects of his personality.
7. Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
I like the balance. The story progresses well enough while always having a good amount of laughs mixed in without feeling too forced.
8. Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
Currently I would say it's just right. I could see it being fine if it was a touch slower but I haven't felt like it was going to quickly at any point so far.
9. How original and unique is the story?
Very. Just the combination of the out there characters on it's own is making it stand out. The core concept so far of vampires vs hunters guild obviously isn't necessarily original but the characters and comedy help mix that up nicely to make it stand out from the pack.
10. Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
I mentioned this in one of your comment sections but Preston saying "The doc is going to fire a rocket of profanities up my ****" is one of the funniest lines I've ever read. I was literally laughing for a couple straight minutes at that.
11. Which scene did you like the best so far?
The emperor's new clothes reference was one of my favorite scenes along with the rest of the whole archon meeting chapters. It was the first really deep dive into the world of this vampire society to me.
12. Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
Not really. I've never been much for hearing character voices in my head outside of my own characters for the sake of writing them.
13. Was the ending of the first arc satisfying? Do you think the encounter with the Don was too brief?
hey guys , sorry I disappeared for a bit. I'll be busy with National Writing Month this November, so I won't be active with the Sims for a while. But I look forward to still checking in with all your stories.
Questions answered in the spoiler below, @pronterus . I've only read through Chapter 4.1, so forgive me if I can't answer all the questions.
Who is your favorite character in the story so far?
Probably Dr. Guzman. I have a soft spot for snobby aristocrat characters. I write about the Goths, after all. (I actually roleplayed as an Altmer secretly bent on world domination over the summer. It was a blast!)
(not that it's much of a stretch to say that High Elves want to rule the world.) Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Probably the Pastor of the Church of the Latter Day Llamas. (That's not the name, but I HAVE to call it that. It makes me laugh, okay?) He's supposed to be the antagonist, though, so it's okay. Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
I was immediately drawn into the story. I just haven't dedicated the time to read it until now.
I put it off for the same reason I put off watching Buffy: I know I'll really enjoy it, and that watching it will make me want to go out and write something. Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Things seem to flow nicely. Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
Dr. Guzman has definitely changed from his human days, judging by his tone. I couldn't say how, though. Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
Probably the Windenburg prison. It would likely be a museum in the modern era, don't you think? In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Again, I'd probably have to say Dr. Guzman. I couldn't tell you why - maybe it's the sense of social isolation, maybe it's some latent megalomaniacal tendency that only manifests itself in fiction? Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
I'd say so. It's a pretty satisfying mix! Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
It seems to be about right! How original and unique is the story?
Original enough! It's entertaining and unexpected at times. I'm also glad that the focus isn't romance. Not that I don't like love stories from time to time, but I feel that there's a few too many of those floating around these forums, you know? Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
There's a ton so far, but this one stood out to me:
As I cut the first piece of fruit, I hear someone laughing like a maniac upstairs. As if they were a villain from a cartoon who completed an evil scheme or something. Maybe the doctor is watching some kind of TV show upstairs.
A kind person like him cannot laugh like that.
Which scene did you like the best so far?
It's a toss-up between the flashbacks and the scene where Park gets bossed around by Preston.
Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
I think Dr. Guzman sounds like Basil Rathbone (as Sherlock Holmes) and Preston sounds like Dr. Watson.
As for headcanon as in, "this would be totally awesome if it were true," I was if I could use a character with the same name in an upcoming short story?
I was thinking about including a Dr. Guzman in an upcoming Goth Thanksgiving Special. I realize that the Pilgrims were about 200 years before his time, but maybe some great-great-great-etc. grandparent was around back then?
Anyway, this Dr. Guzman would help deliver Eliza and Eleazar Goth's son when no one else would, so they name him Gunther (because Gunther is either this doctor's first name, or because it sounds like Guzman) in his honor.
Was the ending of the first arc satisfying? Do you think the encounter with the Don was too brief?
Haven't gotten that far yet. I haven't even gotten to Don yet, unfortunately, so I can't really say.
Westfall. I just find him kind of irritating. I get that it's kind of the point for him to be like that but all the same he gets on my nerves so he's my least favorite character.
I designed him to be irritating A few villains from video games I played were inspiration for his character.
I mentioned this in one of your comment sections but Preston saying "The doc is going to fire a rocket of profanities up my ****" is one of the funniest lines I've ever read. I was literally laughing for a couple straight minutes at that.
I think I've said this before, but Gordon Ramsay's quips were inspiration for that line.
Original enough! It's entertaining and unexpected at times. I'm also glad that the focus isn't romance. Not that I don't like love stories from time to time, but I feel that there's a few too many of those floating around these forums, you know?
Yeah, I think so, too. Romance is not my strong point, but action and comedy are. I think I got most of my action writing inspiration from Bernard Cornwell's novels and comedy from... pretty much anything I find funny.
I think Dr. Guzman sounds like Basil Rathbone (as Sherlock Holmes) and Preston sounds like Dr. Watson.
Ohhh, that does kinda fit them! In my headcanon though, the Doc speaks with a thick peninsular Spanish accent. (He'd probably be the kind who'd roll his r's when angry at Preston)
I was thinking about including a Dr. Guzman in an upcoming Goth Thanksgiving Special. I realize that the Pilgrims were about 200 years before his time, but maybe some great-great-great-etc. grandparent was around back then?
Anyway, this Dr. Guzman would help deliver Eliza and Eleazar Goth's son when no one else would, so they name him Gunther (because Gunther is either this doctor's first name, or because it sounds like Guzman) in his honor.
That sounds like a great idea! His name should be written as Dr. de Guzman though, since it's Spanish. Maybe they named him Gunther because they asked for his last name and misheard it? It could go something like:
>Thank you very much for everything, Doctor. I apologize again if we called you on such short notice.
>You're welcome. It was a pleasure to be of assistance.
>Oh, but we didn't get your name, Doctor! Pardon our manners! *laugh* Doctor--?
>De Guzman.
>The what now?
>My name. I am de Guzman the Doctor.
>The Guzzemanocter?
>You can just call me Doctor.
>Pardon if my hearing is a bit bad, but I thought you said your name was Gunther.
>Yes, dear. I believe that's what we should call our child. Gunther.
I was thinking about including a Dr. Guzman in an upcoming Goth Thanksgiving Special. I realize that the Pilgrims were about 200 years before his time, but maybe some great-great-great-etc. grandparent was around back then?
Anyway, this Dr. Guzman would help deliver Eliza and Eleazar Goth's son when no one else would, so they name him Gunther (because Gunther is either this doctor's first name, or because it sounds like Guzman) in his honor.
That sounds like a great idea! His name should be written as Dr. de Guzman though, since it's Spanish. Maybe they named him Gunther because they asked for his last name and misheard it? It could go something like:
>Thank you very much for everything, Doctor. I apologize again if we called you on such short notice.
>You're welcome. It was a pleasure to be of assistance.
>Oh, but we didn't get your name, Doctor! Pardon our manners! *laugh* Doctor--?
>De Guzman.
>The what now?
>My name. I am de Guzman the Doctor.
>The Guzzemanocter?
>You can just call me Doctor.
>Pardon if my hearing is a bit bad, but I thought you said your name was Gunther.
>Yes, dear. I believe that's what we should call our child. Gunther.
Thanks for the reply! I wondered about that - de Gúzman definitely made me think Spanish, along with the other names, but then I got confused by the Anime hair. I took four years of Spanish, goshdarnit! I should know better!
OMG, yes! And if it's Spanish Spanish, the z would make a th sound, I think. Add in the fact that the Goths are English (in my headcanon, anyway,) and don't know much German, and you've got yourself a double language barrier!
I was thinking about including a Dr. Guzman in an upcoming Goth Thanksgiving Special. I realize that the Pilgrims were about 200 years before his time, but maybe some great-great-great-etc. grandparent was around back then?
Anyway, this Dr. Guzman would help deliver Eliza and Eleazar Goth's son when no one else would, so they name him Gunther (because Gunther is either this doctor's first name, or because it sounds like Guzman) in his honor.
That sounds like a great idea! His name should be written as Dr. de Guzman though, since it's Spanish. Maybe they named him Gunther because they asked for his last name and misheard it? It could go something like:
>Thank you very much for everything, Doctor. I apologize again if we called you on such short notice.
>You're welcome. It was a pleasure to be of assistance.
>Oh, but we didn't get your name, Doctor! Pardon our manners! *laugh* Doctor--?
>De Guzman.
>The what now?
>My name. I am de Guzman the Doctor.
>The Guzzemanocter?
>You can just call me Doctor.
>Pardon if my hearing is a bit bad, but I thought you said your name was Gunther.
>Yes, dear. I believe that's what we should call our child. Gunther.
Thanks for the reply! I wondered about that - de Gúzman definitely made me think Spanish, along with the other names, but then I got confused by the Anime hair. I took four years of Spanish, goshdarnit! I should know better!
OMG, yes! And if it's Spanish Spanish, the z would make a th sound, I think. Add in the fact that the Goths are English (in my headcanon, anyway,) and don't know much German, and you've got yourself a double language barrier!
Just my two cents another possible way to handle it
You could have the Goth's decide to use Gunther because they think it sounds better. At least in my head I think the goths are pompous enough to do that. Just want to name the child after him but hey this name sounds better and is close enough right
Just my two cents another possible way to handle it
You could have the Goth's decide to use Gunther because they think it sounds better. At least in my head I think the goths are pompous enough to do that. Just want to name the child after him but hey this name sounds better and is close enough right
That's a great idea, but since this story is meant to be based off the Pilgrims, I'm not sure it would work.
Asceticans would most certainly consider pride a sin, because it glorifies the self over others and (worse!) the Watcher. It fits that it would be an honest mistake - it happened all the time back then. It's not like they had the internet.
Goths in other generations might do that, though. How else would someone get a name like Ravendancer?
Just my two cents another possible way to handle it
You could have the Goth's decide to use Gunther because they think it sounds better. At least in my head I think the goths are pompous enough to do that. Just want to name the child after him but hey this name sounds better and is close enough right
That's a great idea, but since this story is meant to be based off the Pilgrims, I'm not sure it would work.
Asceticans would most certainly consider pride a sin, because it glorifies the self over others and (worse!) the Watcher. It fits that it would be an honest mistake - it happened all the time back then. It's not like they had the internet.
Goths in other generations might do that, though. How else would someone get a name like Ravendancer?
I've changed some of the images on my page a bit since I revamped the Doc's hideout to suit what they do more. Here are the four main characters in their brand-new office. Love the pic since Park looks pretty awesome here.
Yes, Preston is pretending he has a gun. (and he's not afraid to use it)
Comments
I would say a bit of both. It was a fairly slow start but at the same time I was hooked immeadiately just because it was weird and made me want to keep reading in the hope of figuring out answers as to what was going on.
I would say it feels more plot driven. The characters are there and there's nothing wrong with them but it really feels like the story revolves more around the overarching narrative than the specific characters involved.
One of my favorite lines is from Prologue: Chapter 2
"Life in the cupola is very much the same as it has always has been; same curtains, same sink for washing, same three meals per day. If I did not have the Newcrest Gazette, my books, or your letters, I would have gone completely mad long ago. For the moment, I am only halfway there."
I just love that point it makes about how he's staying sane because of the letters and his books but then has that little bit on the end to emphasized that he's still halfway mad.
To me the setting is very important as a result that you have added in lore and history to it making the location itself more of a place that has ties to the story rather than just a place for the story to take place in.
I have found the narrators so far to be fairly credible, at the very least I haven't gotten the sense that they are intentionally lying. and within the style and tone of the book the characters have been believable.
Honestly the character I most relate to is Bliss. So far she comes across as a character very much like the reader who is kind of on the outskirts of everything trying to piece things together and figure out what's happening as opposed to someone like Alexander who is in the middle of it.
Awesome! I think I'll wait for @pronterus 's reply before I respond, if that's alright with you. Also, don't forget to include any questions you have!
EDIT: One more thing! Here's the latest chapter of the Shadow Over Newcrest. It's not much, but I was feeling lazy my brain wasn't feeling super creative today.
https://rendorasims.wordpress.com/chapters/prologue-chapter-viii/
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
Origin ID: pronterus || Gallery || Undead With Benefits||The Pronteran Builder Blog
Okay then. @AuroraLockwood , do you have any questions about anything in the story? Comments? Tips for improvement?
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
@15aewar So far most questions I have are just things that are likely to be revealed as the story progresses. I will say that you have improved at writing the letters in a manner that comes across more believable as a letter, particularly with the aforementioned Bliss.
Also I think I've mentioned this before but I really like the theatrical styling you do where you write some sections in the form of a script. This is just my personal opinion but I feel like it gives a nice kind of old fashioned feel to it which works well with the story.
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
The Family Black Special Chapter: Vampires Have Nightmares Too
Just a reminder that we currently have our story of the week discussion going on through this coming Sunday regarding @15aewar The Shadow Over Newcrest Story. So if you have any thoughts, comments, or things you'd like to discuss regarding the story feel free to jump in. Lurkers are more than welcome to join in the discussion as well
Alexander and Mortimer find Simon's old chest. What they find inside leaves Mortimer in shock...
rendorasims.wordpress.com/chapters/prologue-chapter-ix/
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
As Monday rolls around the story of the week shifts to @pronterus with his story Undead With Benefits. You are of course still free to respond to previous discussions and talk about other stories but please try and give some focus to feedback/comments/discussion regarding the story of the week.
Don't forget to add the questions you want to use!
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
Origin ID: pronterus || Gallery || Undead With Benefits||The Pronteran Builder Blog
"What was your initial reaction to the book? Did it hook you immediately, or take some time to get into?"
I really can't say right now since the story has just started, but what caught my attention was when the Watcher was mentioned in a recent chapter. I like how a mysterious figure is being foreshadowed, so I'll expect this Watcher in a future chapter.
"What made the setting unique or important? Could the story have taken place anywhere?"
Newcrest is kinda like a blank slate town, so anything is possible. But the eerie setting of the town kinda gives it a Forgotten Hollow vibe, which is a perfect setting for a story like this.
"Did the book change your opinion or perspective about anything? Do you feel different now than you did before you read it?"
I've never read anything with a Lovecraftian Horror theme before, but I have had a general idea of it for a while now, especially through video games I've played before with the same theme.
Looking forward to reading the other chapters
EDIT
Anyway, here are some generic questions I've prepared; I just modified them a bit:
(some were borrowed from this page and this page)
Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
How original and unique is the story?
Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
Which scene did you like the best so far?
Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
Was the ending of the first arc satisfying? Do you think the encounter with the Don was too brief?
Origin ID: pronterus || Gallery || Undead With Benefits||The Pronteran Builder Blog
I haven't caught up yet but so far it's a close tie between Preston and Antonio. Preston is just always making me laugh and Antonio I can't quite put a finger on I just like him.
2. Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Westfall. I just find him kind of irritating. I get that it's kind of the point for him to be like that but all the same he gets on my nerves so he's my least favorite character.
3. Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
I was hooked by quickly by the more serious first chapter and then fully drawn in by the humor in the second. It was a nice set up that in my opinion a lot of comedy based stories in various genre's tend to mess up. They spend so much time initially trying to be funny that they forget to also hook the audience with the characters/story in the process.
4. Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Nothing has been overly distracting that I can really think of. The POV and timeline so far has been fairly straightforward and easy to follow.
5. Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
No major growth so far that I've noticed but as mentioned I'm still working my way through. The primary growth I've notice is for Park who seems to have become much more comfortable in his role than his initial nervous self.
5. Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
The archon's meeting. The idea of a vampire party just sounds fun, at least if you're a vampire. As a normal human probably not quite as much
6. In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Preston probably. While I like many of the characters he's the only one I think I would personally get along with as a result of the more humorous aspects of his personality.
7. Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
I like the balance. The story progresses well enough while always having a good amount of laughs mixed in without feeling too forced.
8. Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
Currently I would say it's just right. I could see it being fine if it was a touch slower but I haven't felt like it was going to quickly at any point so far.
9. How original and unique is the story?
Very. Just the combination of the out there characters on it's own is making it stand out. The core concept so far of vampires vs hunters guild obviously isn't necessarily original but the characters and comedy help mix that up nicely to make it stand out from the pack.
10. Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
I mentioned this in one of your comment sections but Preston saying "The doc is going to fire a rocket of profanities up my ****" is one of the funniest lines I've ever read. I was literally laughing for a couple straight minutes at that.
11. Which scene did you like the best so far?
The emperor's new clothes reference was one of my favorite scenes along with the rest of the whole archon meeting chapters. It was the first really deep dive into the world of this vampire society to me.
12. Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
Not really. I've never been much for hearing character voices in my head outside of my own characters for the sake of writing them.
13. Was the ending of the first arc satisfying? Do you think the encounter with the Don was too brief?
Don't know yet. Will say when I get there.
Anyway, I just stopped by to drop off a little video.
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
Probably Dr. Guzman. I have a soft spot for snobby aristocrat characters. I write about the Goths, after all.
(not that it's much of a stretch to say that High Elves want to rule the world.)
Who is your least favorite character? What makes you dislike them?
Probably the Pastor of the Church of the Latter Day Llamas. (That's not the name, but I HAVE to call it that. It makes me laugh, okay?) He's supposed to be the antagonist, though, so it's okay.
Did it take time to get into reading the book or were you immediately drawn into the story? Why or why not?
I was immediately drawn into the story. I just haven't dedicated the time to read it until now.
I put it off for the same reason I put off watching Buffy: I know I'll really enjoy it, and that watching it will make me want to go out and write something.
Were there any elements of the story structure (such as the point of view or the timeline) that you enjoyed or found distracting?
Things seem to flow nicely.
Did the characters seem authentic and believable in their roles? Which characters experienced growth and change over the course of the story, and which remained static?
Dr. Guzman has definitely changed from his human days, judging by his tone. I couldn't say how, though.
Which places in the story would you most like to visit?
Probably the Windenburg prison. It would likely be a museum in the modern era, don't you think?
In what ways were you able to identify with the characters? If you were a character in the book, with whom would you most relate?
Again, I'd probably have to say Dr. Guzman. I couldn't tell you why - maybe it's the sense of social isolation, maybe it's some latent megalomaniacal tendency that only manifests itself in fiction?
Is the balance between drama, action, and comedy adequate? Does anything need to be improved?
I'd say so. It's a pretty satisfying mix!
Is the story's pacing slow, fast, or just right?
It seems to be about right!
How original and unique is the story?
Original enough! It's entertaining and unexpected at times. I'm also glad that the focus isn't romance. Not that I don't like love stories from time to time, but I feel that there's a few too many of those floating around these forums, you know?
Any quotes from the story that you liked? What made it stand out for you?
There's a ton so far, but this one stood out to me: Which scene did you like the best so far?
It's a toss-up between the flashbacks and the scene where Park gets bossed around by Preston.
Do you have any headcanon accents/voices for the characters?
I think Dr. Guzman sounds like Basil Rathbone (as Sherlock Holmes) and Preston sounds like Dr. Watson.
As for headcanon as in, "this would be totally awesome if it were true," I was if I could use a character with the same name in an upcoming short story?
Anyway, this Dr. Guzman would help deliver Eliza and Eleazar Goth's son when no one else would, so they name him Gunther (because Gunther is either this doctor's first name, or because it sounds like Guzman) in his honor.
Haven't gotten that far yet. I haven't even gotten to Don yet, unfortunately, so I can't really say.
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
I also have a page that I added to lore about how vampires in my world work.
The Fledgling Primer - Issue 1
Here are some replies:
@15aewar
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Thanks for the reply! I wondered about that - de Gúzman definitely made me think Spanish, along with the other names, but then I got confused by the Anime hair. I took four years of Spanish, goshdarnit! I should know better!
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
Just my two cents another possible way to handle it
That's a great idea, but since this story is meant to be based off the Pilgrims, I'm not sure it would work.
Goths in other generations might do that, though. How else would someone get a name like Ravendancer?
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
Oops, sorry I missed that fact
Chapter 14.4 - The Bickering
I'm hoping to finish this arc by Halloween.
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Yes, Preston is pretending he has a gun. (and he's not afraid to use it)
Origin ID: pronterus || Gallery || Undead With Benefits||The Pronteran Builder Blog