Hi friends! This turned out longer than I intended - sorry!
I mentioned here some weeks ago that I was feeling a bit (a lot) lost. I was beginning to feel unmotivated and stressed with the lack of time management in my life. You know how sometimes things feel like they get better, until all of a sudden one day they really don't? I'm not entirely sure if things got better, and then slipped back, or if I was just lying to myself for a while.
Last week I felt pretty withdrawn, and got the feeling that I wanted to leave the forums for a while. I hated having that instinct, because I love chatting with you guys and gals. My instant reaction was to throw myself whole heartedly into participating more. Yea, I'm kinda stupid like that. As a result, I disappeared from the forums for a few days because I couldn't keep up.
I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I bought a positive, habit forming book that has helped me in the past.
I'm going to reevaluate my goals and figure out what I can and need to prioritize.
Basically, I can't promise anything, but I'd like to ask for patience as I figure out where the balance is for me.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being my friends!
TL;DR: I might not be around as frequently as usual. Love you guys!
Hi, @Karilan! I understand with this! I think, even for some of us who've been around and active here for years, there are flows, and it can take a while to find the right balance. My own balance tends to shift, depending on demands from my two jobs.
At one point, I decided that I would choose a minimum for me, which is a) check in once a day; b) reply within 24 hours to PMs; c) reply to posts on Kindness Bench and, now, this thread (as I'm inspired to); d) keep up with the stories of folks in my reading circle.
The minimum works for me because it allows me to feel connected while also keeping me from feeling obligated. If I feel like doing more, I can, but I don't have to. So, I'm able to have freedom.
I've also examined what I come to the forums for: When I come expecting attention, reinforcement, support, or to fill social needs, I'm often disappointed. (This is just for me; I'm not trying to generalize my experience to others). Sometimes, when those needs don't get filled here, I wonder, "Then what do I come here for?" And I might try taking more time off (that is, not doing any more than my minimum). But then I find myself missing... something. So, what do I miss? That which I miss, then, is what these forums provide... and what I miss turns out to be these things (I think):
a) finding out what others are working on
b) friendly posts and exchanges
c) encouragement
d) sharing ideas and inspiration
So, when I think of the forums as a place where I can find out what others are working on, read or participate in friendly posts and exchanges, give and receive encouragement, and share ideas and inspiration, then I'm really satisfied here! It works for me! I just need to be able to see what it is I can get here, and not look to here for things I can better get elsewhere.
Also, I have really good luck by focusing on those who a) seem eager to engage with me and b) who read my work and whose stories I read.... The others, I find for me, are fine to let be without expecting any interaction...
Anyway... long, rambling, personal post to describe that it hasn't been easy for me to find what works, but that I think, for the present, I have...
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
It's just I'm having issues with the M words..and I can't stand it anymore ...I might returned in a couple of days..
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Oh, yeah! Reading is another challenge!
It took me years to figure out how to balance that!
What finally worked for me is that getting up-to-date with the stories that I'm currently reading so that I can just follow them in my WordPress reader. (I only have two stories I'm reading right now that aren't in WordPress, and those are Reading Circle stories, so I just find them when there are updates.)
Now, I spend about half an hour each morning after breakfast with coffee, and maybe 20 minutes each night, after game-play or writing and before bed, and in that amount of reading time, I can keep up with the blogs I follow. I've even been able to add a few non-Simming blogs, and I'm enjoying those so much!
I also let go of stories that don't work for me--like if the subject matter upsets me or if the style of CC and use of poses don't fit my personal aesthetic.
Took a few years for me to figure out how to make this a fun, manageable treat!
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Oh, yeah! Reading is another challenge!
It took me years to figure out how to balance that!
What finally worked for me is that getting up-to-date with the stories that I'm currently reading so that I can just follow them in my WordPress reader. (I only have two stories I'm reading right now that aren't in WordPress, and those are Reading Circle stories, so I just find them when there are updates.)
Now, I spend about half an hour each morning after breakfast with coffee, and maybe 20 minutes each night, after game-play or writing and before bed, and in that amount of reading time, I can keep up with the blogs I follow. I've even been able to add a few non-Simming blogs, and I'm enjoying those so much!
I also let go of stories that don't work for me--like if the subject matter upsets me or if the style of CC and use of poses don't fit my personal aesthetic.
Took a few years for me to figure out how to make this a fun, manageable treat!
as of today i can't seem to get the new pics to show up. it figures when noel and lauren decide to wear clothes i have no proof.
that means i have to go in to sis adamandeve mode.
and actually write. yikes.
that was a compliment the 2 of you use lots of big descriptive words.
i remember the day i asked sis what she teaches then almost had to look it up anyway. she was still here and broke it down.
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
or you could start small. 1 chapter then work your way up.
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
or you could start small. 1 chapter then work your way up.
Probably smart. I started the sentence thinking 1 chapter a day and changed to 3 because I always try to do too much.
Hi friends! This turned out longer than I intended - sorry!
I mentioned here some weeks ago that I was feeling a bit (a lot) lost. I was beginning to feel unmotivated and stressed with the lack of time management in my life. You know how sometimes things feel like they get better, until all of a sudden one day they really don't? I'm not entirely sure if things got better, and then slipped back, or if I was just lying to myself for a while.
Last week I felt pretty withdrawn, and got the feeling that I wanted to leave the forums for a while. I hated having that instinct, because I love chatting with you guys and gals. My instant reaction was to throw myself whole heartedly into participating more. Yea, I'm kinda stupid like that. As a result, I disappeared from the forums for a few days because I couldn't keep up.
I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I bought a positive, habit forming book that has helped me in the past.
I'm going to reevaluate my goals and figure out what I can and need to prioritize.
Basically, I can't promise anything, but I'd like to ask for patience as I figure out where the balance is for me.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being my friends!
TL;DR: I might not be around as frequently as usual. Love you guys!
Aw, feel better Karilan! We'll miss you!
And don't feel bad either (not that you would...) This time of year is crazy busy for everyone! Hang in there and focus on what's best for you!
Hi friends! This turned out longer than I intended - sorry!
I mentioned here some weeks ago that I was feeling a bit (a lot) lost. I was beginning to feel unmotivated and stressed with the lack of time management in my life. You know how sometimes things feel like they get better, until all of a sudden one day they really don't? I'm not entirely sure if things got better, and then slipped back, or if I was just lying to myself for a while.
Last week I felt pretty withdrawn, and got the feeling that I wanted to leave the forums for a while. I hated having that instinct, because I love chatting with you guys and gals. My instant reaction was to throw myself whole heartedly into participating more. Yea, I'm kinda stupid like that. As a result, I disappeared from the forums for a few days because I couldn't keep up.
I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I bought a positive, habit forming book that has helped me in the past.
I'm going to reevaluate my goals and figure out what I can and need to prioritize.
Basically, I can't promise anything, but I'd like to ask for patience as I figure out where the balance is for me.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being my friends!
TL;DR: I might not be around as frequently as usual. Love you guys!
Aw, feel better Karilan! We'll miss you!
And don't feel bad either (not that you would...) This time of year is crazy busy for everyone! Hang in there and focus on what's best for you!
Hi friends! This turned out longer than I intended - sorry!
I mentioned here some weeks ago that I was feeling a bit (a lot) lost. I was beginning to feel unmotivated and stressed with the lack of time management in my life. You know how sometimes things feel like they get better, until all of a sudden one day they really don't? I'm not entirely sure if things got better, and then slipped back, or if I was just lying to myself for a while.
Last week I felt pretty withdrawn, and got the feeling that I wanted to leave the forums for a while. I hated having that instinct, because I love chatting with you guys and gals. My instant reaction was to throw myself whole heartedly into participating more. Yea, I'm kinda stupid like that. As a result, I disappeared from the forums for a few days because I couldn't keep up.
I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I bought a positive, habit forming book that has helped me in the past.
I'm going to reevaluate my goals and figure out what I can and need to prioritize.
Basically, I can't promise anything, but I'd like to ask for patience as I figure out where the balance is for me.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being my friends!
TL;DR: I might not be around as frequently as usual. Love you guys!
Aw, feel better Karilan! We'll miss you!
And don't feel bad either (not that you would...) This time of year is crazy busy for everyone! Hang in there and focus on what's best for you!
Hi friends! This turned out longer than I intended - sorry!
I mentioned here some weeks ago that I was feeling a bit (a lot) lost. I was beginning to feel unmotivated and stressed with the lack of time management in my life. You know how sometimes things feel like they get better, until all of a sudden one day they really don't? I'm not entirely sure if things got better, and then slipped back, or if I was just lying to myself for a while.
Last week I felt pretty withdrawn, and got the feeling that I wanted to leave the forums for a while. I hated having that instinct, because I love chatting with you guys and gals. My instant reaction was to throw myself whole heartedly into participating more. Yea, I'm kinda stupid like that. As a result, I disappeared from the forums for a few days because I couldn't keep up.
I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I bought a positive, habit forming book that has helped me in the past.
I'm going to reevaluate my goals and figure out what I can and need to prioritize.
Basically, I can't promise anything, but I'd like to ask for patience as I figure out where the balance is for me.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being my friends!
TL;DR: I might not be around as frequently as usual. Love you guys!
Aw, feel better Karilan! We'll miss you!
And don't feel bad either (not that you would...) This time of year is crazy busy for everyone! Hang in there and focus on what's best for you!
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
i think i was dreaming i was writing . the reality . its been 11 days . well 10 i wrote today.
What should a prison have-and this is going to be a double basement prison since Henry is going to be in the 2nd level and what could I do with the actual house part?) Note: Henry is sort of the Tony Stark (without the intelligence) to the villains (ie Slades-except in this case they're the same age) who were responsible for HAM's attempted suicide and will attempt to reap off Jane in the near future.
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
don't you need to set up the new classes soon or are there a few weeks in between?
also i saw this and can't figure out how it works.
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
don't you need to set up the new classes soon or are there a few weeks in between?
also i saw this and can't figure out how it works.
I think it's because hoildays are soon which is why its the end of her semester (my Mom's first semester doesn't end up February)
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
don't you need to set up the new classes soon or are there a few weeks in between?
also i saw this and can't figure out how it works.
I think it's because hoildays are soon which is why its the end of her semester (my Mom's first semester doesn't end up February)
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
don't you need to set up the new classes soon or are there a few weeks in between?
also i saw this and can't figure out how it works.
I think it's because hoildays are soon which is why its the end of her semester (my Mom's first semester doesn't end up February)
what does your mom do? i just know shes gone a lot.
she's a teacher who replaces other high school teachers (including the librarians the terms are interchangeable: a substitute or a Supply teacher
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day. ).
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day. ).
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
I will be back in a couple of days.. it's just I'm getting a bit tired of staff on this site for Reasons @friendsfan367 closing my threads
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day. ).
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
I will be back in a couple of days.. it's just I'm getting a bit tired of staff on this site for Reasons @friendsfan367 closing my threads
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day. ).
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
I will be back in a couple of days.. it's just I'm getting a bit tired of staff on this site for Reasons @friendsfan367 closing my threads
just curious why did you tag me?
it happens but you explained why I was leaving for a little while earlier to the other person (who happened to joined my forum)
@MadameLee Sorry to hear that you're leaving! I really hope that you don't get banned, but I've seen some odd activity on the forums lately regarding bots and banning and it really rubs me the wrong way.
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day. ).
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
I will be back in a couple of days.. it's just I'm getting a bit tired of staff on this site for Reasons @friendsfan367 closing my threads
just curious why did you tag me?
it happens but you explained why I was leaving for a little while earlier to the other person (who happened to joined my forum)
Comments
Hi, @Karilan! I understand with this! I think, even for some of us who've been around and active here for years, there are flows, and it can take a while to find the right balance. My own balance tends to shift, depending on demands from my two jobs.
At one point, I decided that I would choose a minimum for me, which is a) check in once a day; b) reply within 24 hours to PMs; c) reply to posts on Kindness Bench and, now, this thread (as I'm inspired to); d) keep up with the stories of folks in my reading circle.
The minimum works for me because it allows me to feel connected while also keeping me from feeling obligated. If I feel like doing more, I can, but I don't have to. So, I'm able to have freedom.
I've also examined what I come to the forums for: When I come expecting attention, reinforcement, support, or to fill social needs, I'm often disappointed. (This is just for me; I'm not trying to generalize my experience to others). Sometimes, when those needs don't get filled here, I wonder, "Then what do I come here for?" And I might try taking more time off (that is, not doing any more than my minimum). But then I find myself missing... something. So, what do I miss? That which I miss, then, is what these forums provide... and what I miss turns out to be these things (I think):
a) finding out what others are working on
b) friendly posts and exchanges
c) encouragement
d) sharing ideas and inspiration
So, when I think of the forums as a place where I can find out what others are working on, read or participate in friendly posts and exchanges, give and receive encouragement, and share ideas and inspiration, then I'm really satisfied here! It works for me! I just need to be able to see what it is I can get here, and not look to here for things I can better get elsewhere.
Also, I have really good luck by focusing on those who a) seem eager to engage with me and b) who read my work and whose stories I read.... The others, I find for me, are fine to let be without expecting any interaction...
Anyway... long, rambling, personal post to describe that it hasn't been easy for me to find what works, but that I think, for the present, I have...
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
@CathyTea Thanks for your kind words! I hadn't thought about setting minimum goals for myself. I tend to make rather broad goals, often without deadlines, which ends up being a weird balance of not enough pressure to get it done, and a lot of disappointment for making no progress.
I'm going to try applying this to some of my ideas!
One thing I've felt tremendously guilty about is not keeping up with other people's stories. Although I haven't made my promises, and I really hope no one feels I've lied when I say their story is interesting to me, but I don't get around to reading as often as I'd like. I am disappointed with myself that I've had stories on my reading list for over 2 months that I haven't found time to start on.
I might try setting a small, minimum goal like 3 chapters a day or something to get me started on making visible progress on my reading list!
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
It's just I'm having issues with the M words..and I can't stand it anymore ...I might returned in a couple of days..
Oh, yeah! Reading is another challenge!
It took me years to figure out how to balance that!
What finally worked for me is that getting up-to-date with the stories that I'm currently reading so that I can just follow them in my WordPress reader. (I only have two stories I'm reading right now that aren't in WordPress, and those are Reading Circle stories, so I just find them when there are updates.)
Now, I spend about half an hour each morning after breakfast with coffee, and maybe 20 minutes each night, after game-play or writing and before bed, and in that amount of reading time, I can keep up with the blogs I follow. I've even been able to add a few non-Simming blogs, and I'm enjoying those so much!
I also let go of stories that don't work for me--like if the subject matter upsets me or if the style of CC and use of poses don't fit my personal aesthetic.
Took a few years for me to figure out how to make this a fun, manageable treat!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
as of today i can't seem to get the new pics to show up. it figures when noel and lauren decide to wear clothes i have no proof.
that means i have to go in to sis adamandeve mode.
and actually write. yikes.
that was a compliment the 2 of you use lots of big descriptive words.
i remember the day i asked sis what she teaches then almost had to look it up anyway. she was still here and broke it down.
or you could start small. 1 chapter then work your way up.
Probably smart. I started the sentence thinking 1 chapter a day and changed to 3 because I always try to do too much.
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
Aw, feel better Karilan! We'll miss you!
And don't feel bad either (not that you would...) This time of year is crazy busy for everyone! Hang in there and focus on what's best for you!
Not you, too!
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
see kar i do say things other than bad kar.
I'm leaving and starting my own forum because of reasons I'm sick of but I can't say because I could get banned
Not you, too!
shes not saying shes banned but could be if she posts what she wants too.
Of course you do.
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
lol. i couldn't think up something creative so i picked the show i watched the most.
I know it looks like a lot (and looks confusing) at first, but it's really nice just to pick a character, pop in for some questions or a chat, then pop back out. (I have been really unmotivated to write lately. There's so much to do and so many presents to make that it's overwhelming!)
Book O' Spells: The Life and Times of Lady Ravendancer Goth
The Shadow Over Newcrest - Revised Story Blog
i think i was dreaming i was writing . the reality . its been 11 days . well 10 i wrote today.
I'm going to try this some time! It might be a week or two, as it's the end of the semester. But I want to give it a try for a few characters!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
don't you need to set up the new classes soon or are there a few weeks in between?
also i saw this and can't figure out how it works.
I think it's because hoildays are soon which is why its the end of her semester (my Mom's first semester doesn't end up February)
what does your mom do?
she's a teacher who replaces other high school teachers (including the librarians the terms are interchangeable: a substitute or a Supply teacher
Hi @Karilan I sometimes have that problem too, not being able to catch up with everyone's stories, even though I really enjoy them. I actually have a lot of reading I have to do in real life, which makes it difficult to catch up with simLit and legacies. Setting up small goals is a great idea. Another thing I like to do, is rotate around stories I read. So at one point I am reading a part of one person's story, then I rotate to the next, and eventually come round to the story I've started with. There, I've dipped into a lot of people's stories, giving me an idea what everyone's up to. (Hope I'm making sense. It's been a long day.
@MadameLee, sorry you're leaving. Will miss having you on the forums, although I totally understand why you're going.
I will be back in a couple of days.. it's just I'm getting a bit tired of staff on this site for Reasons @friendsfan367 closing my threads
just curious why did you tag me?
it happens but you explained why I was leaving for a little while earlier to the other person (who happened to joined my forum)
is that good or bad?