I made the title back to the original. Also, as for the title, I am sending a separate file of the video (same video, just the actual file) so I didnt bother with naming it anything special, just something so you knew what you would be watching. As for the fast speaking, it is because I dont know how to make the pictures stay up longer so I had to talk in time with the pictures. Sorry. :oops:
It looks like a lot of people are posting feedback here so I will too :P
The facts at the beginning were really cool - I had no idea cosmetics were sacred in ancient Egypt, and it's interesting to see how their significance translated across cultures to the New Testament. Not really something you learn in history class
For the first batch of info, I suggest changing "Which" to "This" to make the first sentence flow better into the second, because right now it creates an unnecessary pause.
"......found buried with the deceased. This helped further emphasize..." <- change I suggested.
I agree with Mizore, as using 'Which' to start your third statement creates a sentence fragment. Changing it to 'This' would be grammatically correct. I also agree with her about changing 'look' to 'looks' at 0:09
At 0:20, you start your narration while the information about cosmetics' historical significance is still on the screen. There's no real transition from the information to your makeup demonstration - nothing like "In the following segment, I will be creating a look inspired by these ancient techniques" or something like that. It's a bit choppy. Also, I realized after reading through it again, you misspelled 'Egyptians' and 'Testament'.
I really appreciated that you showed us the products you were using; it makes it easier to duplicate your look I wish you had shown a few more pictures of the application of products onto your eyelid (your eyeliner cat-eye is FLAWLESS :shock: ); this would be helpful to people just starting to apply makeup. I also really like that you showed pictures of your face intermittently; it gives a good guideline of how the application should look throughout the process.
On a final note, I have to agree with the majority of other people on this thread: the rotation of your pictures would probably make the biggest difference. It should be pretty easy to do; if you can find the pictures on your computer, if you open them in the default picture gallery, you should have the option to right-click on them and rotate them 90 degrees in either direction. Or, alternatively, use MS Paint as Mizore suggested.
I thought it was a really good video. Good luck on your project!
Alright, so it seems like most people have already given you a lot helpful feedback, but I'll try my best to add onto it.
The beginning of the video is a little too silent for my liking, perhaps you could try adding some low music (Egyptian?) or narrating the text yourself. You should also implement some sort of transition between the text and the make-up tutorial. A few of the pictures were a bit blurry or dark, making it hard to see. I think it would be a good idea to add some text onto the pictures so that it is clear what product you are using. You might also want to try to explain the process of applying the make-up a little more, since it's only pictures and not video. I also agree that rotating the pictures would help a lot.
Comments
But I sent you a message on tumblr yesterday. I haven't received a reply yet.
The facts at the beginning were really cool - I had no idea cosmetics were sacred in ancient Egypt, and it's interesting to see how their significance translated across cultures to the New Testament. Not really something you learn in history class
I should probably mention this, though:
I agree with Mizore, as using 'Which' to start your third statement creates a sentence fragment. Changing it to 'This' would be grammatically correct. I also agree with her about changing 'look' to 'looks' at 0:09
At 0:20, you start your narration while the information about cosmetics' historical significance is still on the screen. There's no real transition from the information to your makeup demonstration - nothing like "In the following segment, I will be creating a look inspired by these ancient techniques" or something like that. It's a bit choppy. Also, I realized after reading through it again, you misspelled 'Egyptians' and 'Testament'.
I really appreciated that you showed us the products you were using; it makes it easier to duplicate your look
On a final note, I have to agree with the majority of other people on this thread: the rotation of your pictures would probably make the biggest difference. It should be pretty easy to do; if you can find the pictures on your computer, if you open them in the default picture gallery, you should have the option to right-click on them and rotate them 90 degrees in either direction. Or, alternatively, use MS Paint as Mizore suggested.
I thought it was a really good video. Good luck on your project!
The beginning of the video is a little too silent for my liking, perhaps you could try adding some low music (Egyptian?) or narrating the text yourself. You should also implement some sort of transition between the text and the make-up tutorial. A few of the pictures were a bit blurry or dark, making it hard to see. I think it would be a good idea to add some text onto the pictures so that it is clear what product you are using. You might also want to try to explain the process of applying the make-up a little more, since it's only pictures and not video. I also agree that rotating the pictures would help a lot.
Good luck!
Remeber, two more hours til this closes. Winner will be randomly selected tomorow
Congrats laramoonlily!