1. Do you think Charlee has done a good job at becoming the mastermind of the house?
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
1. No, I don't think so. She might think so but I think she needs to be a lot sneakier and sweeter about it if she wants to actually sway people. At this point she gets nominated by basically everyone, so she's not quite the great mastermind she thinks she is.
2. Yes! The dance challenge was my favourite because I could look at the pictures and listen to music alongside it. I felt like the photoshoot challenge started to drag because everyone needed to be judged individually and it seemed to take forever, honestly. But this one was much more to my liking.
3. Meh. I don't have big opinions on the guest judges. They seemed over-the-top and extra, just like the format. They fit with the program.
4. Interesting for sure. You do a great job at throwing new stories into the mix. The story never gets boring to read and I'm always interested in reading more. Believability is hard for me with reality shows. I always feel like people are magnifying their personalities or faking/acting, so people in reality shows are more like characters than real people to me. Having said that, it's good how you manage to weave that into your own story with Marjan for example. She is definitely not what she seems.
5. No, actually. I'm starting to like Enca more with every episode. I hope she lasts. She seems to become more grounded in reality and less diva.
@everyone if you don't have the time to finish, no worries! Since we have an extra week to relax/catch up/do the awards, I'm sure there'll be time to catch up later.
@mercuryfoam thank you for your answers! I loved reading them.♥ I'm gonna say "ahhh, thank you!" a lot, so excuse me for that~
Your answers~
Technical Questions 1.Is the blog working well for you? I've spent a lot of time looking for a good theme that kind of gives off the whimsy feeling that I want to put forth in the story.
Oh yes! I can’t even remember what was your blog’s last design. Your current design doesn’t give me a whimsy feeling, but your pictures do. The cool blue background is pleasing to the eye and communicates to me that the author takes his/her work seriously. The banners and photos are all professionally shot and gives fantastic ideas as to what to expect of the series. I think the more grounded colors and crisp clear design of the blog compliments the pictures in that one can expect a fun-filled dramatic ride with a sense of stability and dose of reality.
2. I went back and replaced all the images in each episode with ones that are much smaller in file size to make the pages load faster. Is this working well for you?
My internet is pretty reliable so I can’t I feel any difference. I’d say with my screen resolution at 1920x1028 I haven’t noticed a drop in quality of the pictures. The med to far shot pictures are not as sharp so some details are lost but it doesn’t detract from the message or image. Those details are not important anyway if it was a long shot so I get to focus on what’s important instead xD
3. The Episodes used to be one big chunk, with Eliminations separate. They're now 2 - 6 parts to make the reading easier, what do you think of this choice?
Ah I think I’ve elaborated exhaustively on what I think about your decision. I stand by it very much. I tend to like dissecting sim actions and emotions so the pauses allow me to concentrate on one subject. If it were longer I find I won’t be able to keep up and my comments usually end up becoming pretty generic.
4. Do you want more notes? I include a few here and there, but probably 0 after this first chunk of episodes.
I see notes as something extra but not compulsory to read so as long as it’s not too long or immersion breaking its fine .
General Questions 1.What are your first impressions of K&GI?
My first impressions of K&G are that it is made with love. And that the author knows a lot or is super passionate about reality TV shows. I found it impressive and a little intimidating because there are a lot of contestants (as a reality tv show is supposed to be) and feel a little daunted to begin reading, knowing that I will be ‘lost’ very quickly because of my inability to follow many different characters at once. I’m glad you have a character page. That is a life saviour for me
2. Obviously I want to make this seem like you're watching a tv show/reading a script instead of simply narrating, do you get this impression? Do I capture the spirit of a reality show?
Very much. I love that the narration of events are punctuated with cast focus where they express their inner thoughts and attempt to ‘break the fourth wall’ with the readers. The characters are highly dramatised and the announcements are done with showmanship and style. You get pulled into the writing as if you were a person in the crowds or sitting on the couch eating popcorn.
3. Do you like my style of writing?
Yes. I like the light-heartedness and humor you inject in your story. There’s a lot of sass thrown around and each character has a distinct identity and place they connect to. I think those are vital for tv shows, that and your characters clearly have.. character lol.
4. What do you think of my images? I spend a lot of time creating a unified "look" for the seasons, with the promo images, the cast pictures, the icons, the confessionals, the fadeout gifs at the end of each episode, etc, so I'd love to know if you like them!
I think they’re fantastic. They make me wonder if you are in the creatives and I think you mentioned studying writing? I would’ve imagined you did creative design on the side and I wouldn’t be surprised at all. I think I mentioned how professional they are to me. Really love the quality.
5. Speaking of confessionals, do you like this aspect of the story? Reality shows tend to have these confessional/talking heads moments so I wanted to include them to advance the story.
Yes, see above.
6. Do you like the story so far? It gets more intense and the characters that last longer get more developed as time goes on, but what do you think of the story at this point?
I like the story and how as the episodes roll by we get to know the characters on a more intimate level. I can’t wait for the number of contestants to reduce to a more manageable number that would allow us to glimpse into their backstories at a far deeper level.
Character Questions 1.Do you have a favorite? A least favorite? Why's that?
I can’t shake off the feeling that everyone is dispensable. Hence I think I’ve subconsciously maintained an arm’s length with each character so as to not be too emotionally attached when they get eliminated. If I absolutely have to choose a favorite character, I’d pick China for her impressive. I always thought of Patricio as a huge sleazeball but I think Matthieu takes it for me. Can’t stand cheaters.
2. Do the characters seem realistic for the most part? They're exaggerated because characters tend to be in reality shows, but do you see glimpses of realistic emotions in them?
I think they’re fine the way they are, there’s all sorts of characters in this world, I can even imagine Kyungri irl. Their actions and words are consistent with their traits and emotions so I see that as realistic enough for me.
3. If you could describe each character in one word, what would it be?
Charlee: Fiery
China: Successful
Enca: Superstar
Enzo: Balanced
Gabriel: Dependant
Harrison: Trusting
Jessie: Nice
Kyungri: Driven
Louise: Emotional
Marjan: Slick
Matthieu: Disappointing
Mitchell: Unimpressionable (This guy needs a confidence coach)
Patricio: Sleazy
Todd: Untrustworthy
My thoughts:
Technical Questions
1. This is awesome, thank you! The way you described the contrast between the design and the content, that made me so happy. I'm glad that it comes off that way!
2. Oh yeah, I think you'll notice as you go along that I upped the quality of the game itself so the edges look less crunchy in the later episodes. Good to hear that the quality of the files themselves isn't an issue for you, that makes me relieved.
3. Yes, we've discussed this before, and I'm really glad you like this new way of publishing the story. I appreciate that you like to make your comments more thoughtful and less generic, that's really awesome not only for me but for every story you read.
4. Noted. haha
General Questions
1. Ahhh, thank you! Yes, I made this with a lot of love! Love for writing, The Sims, reality TV, visuals, competitions, etc. I'm so glad it shines through! I'm happy you utilize the character page, I have to admit I spent a lot of time working it out so I'm happy you find it useful.
2. Sitting on the couch eating popcorn, yes! That's the feeling I was going for (or, in Kyungri's case, sitting on the chaise lounge drinking champagne, haha). Thank you! I'm happy you appreciate the breaking of the fourth wall, that was important to my story when writing it.
3. Thank you! Since I like to think of my story as a character drama in disguise, I'm relieved that you think that the characters are well-established and shine through (even though there are tons of them!).
4. Ahhhh, thank you! Yeah, I did languages and writing, but I've done some work in design (done some freelance work)/I have a huge hobby of editing images and making visual art. Thank you so much!
5. Perfect. ~~
6. That is something that will definitely happen as the characters get eliminated, and hopefully their stories will shine even more! I'm happy you like the story so far.
Character Questions
1. That's a good way of looking at the characters at the moment. You're so right about them being dispensable to the story given the nature of the competition. I had the same feeling when writing them because I thought "oh gosh, if I develop them too much and get attached they might leave and I'll be left with nothing", so I just kind of worked on everyone, and that made me really think about each character as potential mains instead of just supporting. And it did happen that some of the ones I didn't think would survive the first few episodes stayed and I was forced to develop them more/take them in different directions, and this kept it exciting for me. It seems to be that China is super popular, and this isn't surprising to me (and you'll see why later), but maaaaaaan, I'm shaken that Matthieu is proving to be unpopular as time goes along, since when I first started publishing he was one of the most popular. Hopefully he can redeem himself in your eyes later, but if he doesn't I completely understand, I also hate cheaters. (And given that there is SO much infidelity when my sims are on full autonomy, ughhhh. I'm always like NO, DON'T, STOP. haha)
2. I'm glad you can picture them in real life. That's something that I wanted to put forth, the sort of "yeah, I know this person", so knowing that they succeed in that makes me happy.
3. I think all your one-word impressions are spot on! Honestly I could see myself choosing those for each of them, awesome.
1. Do you think Charlee has done a good job at becoming the mastermind of the house?
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
1. No, I don't think so. She might think so but I think she needs to be a lot sneakier and sweeter about it if she wants to actually sway people. At this point she gets nominated by basically everyone, so she's not quite the great mastermind she thinks she is.
2. Yes! The dance challenge was my favourite because I could look at the pictures and listen to music alongside it. I felt like the photoshoot challenge started to drag because everyone needed to be judged individually and it seemed to take forever, honestly. But this one was much more to my liking.
3. Meh. I don't have big opinions on the guest judges. They seemed over-the-top and extra, just like the format. They fit with the program.
4. Interesting for sure. You do a great job at throwing new stories into the mix. The story never gets boring to read and I'm always interested in reading more. Believability is hard for me with reality shows. I always feel like people are magnifying their personalities or faking/acting, so people in reality shows are more like characters than real people to me. Having said that, it's good how you manage to weave that into your own story with Marjan for example. She is definitely not what she seems.
5. No, actually. I'm starting to like Enca more with every episode. I hope she lasts. She seems to become more grounded in reality and less diva.
My thoughts: Episodes 3-4
1. Yeah, Charlee is just a mean girl with dreams of becoming the Regina George of the contest when she's not even a Gretchen Wieners. Whoops, sorry Charlee.~
2. Awesome! I'm happy you liked that, I haven't gotten much feedback about that challenge specifically so I'm happy to hear that it works for you. Now, about the photoshoot challenge, I tend to agree about the fact that it drags on. I feel awkward about it going on and on with the critiques, since I try to not let those "ajmkv is speaking but the story is not quite advancing yadda yadda shut up ajmkv" moments happen toooo much. Do you have any advice about how to frame those instances so that they don't drag along? Like, where critiques could and should be included for individual contestants.
3. Yeah, they're not the stars, just there to complement the story. If it was always only me (in-character) judging, I think it would be boring to even have any judging sections at all.
4. Yes, thank you! Having the over-the-top nature of reality shows mixed in with more sensitive (if you can call them that) emotions is a fine line to walk for me, so I like being able to weave more "human" feelings in at moments, and also when I have bonus episodes (which you'll get a taste of at the end of this arc!).
5. Oh, yay! That's really nice to read. I wanted Enca to be the ultimate competitor when I selected her for the season, and then a mix of the Sims autonomy and the challenges where I just couldn't quite put forth her starpower made it so that she just kind of flopped. I'm happy I was able to make her interesting regardless. (Actually, I think the fact that she is vulnerable and not infallible as a hugely successful celebrity is what makes her more relatable and interesting to follow than if she was just flawless and perfect and nothing else.)
I think it mostly dragged because there were two judges this time around. There was a lot of commentary to get through. If you want to include commentary for individual characters, it might be better to keep it short but sweet. I think the dance challenge was a great example with the introspective of the characters reflecting back on their score and how they did interchanged with the judges commentary. They kept it short by mentioning the characters briefly and what they did right/wrong. That challenge just really worked for me!
OK, noted! There's a couple more instances of photoshoot challenges or aspects in this season and I think they're a little less of a slog to get through, but when I do another challenge again in another season, I'll definitely try to make the critiques shorter and more dynamic and more like the dance challenge. Thank you!
1. What do you think of the character introductions/entrances?
They were well done. You give us a glimpse of each of their personalities, as well as enough to make a decent first impression. I do have to say that it were a LOT of people in the beginning, and I had trouble remembering the cast members that didn’t stand out too much compared to the divas. Of course, this is par for the course in a reality show/elimination contest, and you gradually get to know people, so I don’t hold it against the chapters. 2. What do you think of ajmkv/me? (Rip into me if you must!)
I love your simself! I’m already a bit ahead of everyone else, but every time you make a cameo on screen (or off-screen through messages/phone calls/etc), it makes me chuckle. Also this is totally random, but that little twirl in your hair makes me think of soft ice cream, and now I have cravings, darn it. You keep up being your fabulous self 3. Did you have any strong impressions of anyone? Any "oh, they're going home first" feelings?
Hmm. I think Mitchell, because he seemed so tame compared to the rest of the cast. Of course, he actually ended up surprising me! 4. What do you think of the most relevant plot threads at this point? (Matthieu and Harrison's romance, Enca and Patricio, etc.)
I mean, I love Matthison. They’re adorable together, and their romance is probably their strongest asset. They’re also a stark contrast to Enca and Patricio, whose eyes can’t seem to stop wandering for longer than a second. Dear lord, Patricio, if you’re going to cheat on your diva, at least don’t be painfully obvious about it. Or, oh, I don’t know, DON’T CHEAT ON YOUR DIVA. 5. Were you sad to see Patricio go?
HAHAHAHA. Ciao, dude.
3-4
1. Do you think Charlee has done a good job at becoming the mastermind of the house?
Again, I’m ahead, so I can’t answer this without drawing on my information from the other chapters. But there’s a reason why I called her “diet-evil”. She tries very hard, but she gives me more of a mean girl vibe than a legitimate mastermind. I mean, Jessie even one-upped her at some point, with the stunt she pulled in cahoots with the directors! xD 2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
I really like your photoshoot pictures and makeovers of the cast. Looking back at the first few chapters, I can see how enormously you’ve improved at them over the course of the story, too! You’re really good at it, to the point of blowing me away sometimes. =D 3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
So that’s who Jdbw was! I didn’t catch that the first time around, but now it makes sense. =D Some of the commentary really made me laugh, so full marks from me! 4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
Yes. Some (most) of it is very hammed up for the audience, but that’s par for the course for a reality show where your survival depends on the viewers liking and remembering you. So in a way, their behaviour is very believable. 5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
No, but I was disappointed that Enca won out over China. The girl’s just not feeling it so far this season, but the love of her fans can only get her so far, and she’s quickly running dry there.
5
1. Are Gabriel's feelings towards Todd relatable?
He’s treating Todd likea younger brother that needs to mature. I don’t like either of them too much, but he did warn Todd, and that was a very nice thing to do for a competitor. 2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
She’s too much of an oddball to me. There’s hints that not all about her is as it seems, but Marjan doesn’t really come to the foreground until later in the story. I find her super interesting now, but back then, I honestly didn’t know what to make of her. xD 3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
I did. That was a horribly low blow, and Todd deserved the full consequences for it. I hold grudges. xD 4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
I have to admit I completely missed this chapter the first time around. Will get back to it later! =D 5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
Yes. You actually do this very well – if it was silly drama or hammed-up performances all the time, it would get tiring to read. Instead, you sprinkle the story with serious, heartwarming and even very sad moments here and there. It’s like different flavours mixed into a tasty ice cream sundae.
Arc 1 general questions
1. Are you upset that anyone left? Would you like to see anyone come back?
China I felt had a lot to offer, and she left before we really had the chance to get to know her. But ‘tis the way of elimination contests! Also, any episode with a ajmkv cameo is a good episode. 2. Do you have any predictions?
Ngggghhhhh I reaaaaallly can’t answer this, seeing how far along I am. It would be the mother of all spoilers for people still reading. So. My lips are sealed. =D 3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
YESSSSSSS
I have loads, but most of them are super spoilery, so I'll wait with them until next time.
Kyungri, you know I’m a fan – you grew on me over the story to the point where you’re now one of my favourites. This one is super personal, so it’s fine if you don’t want to answer, but did you turn to plastic because you didn’t like how you looked beforehand?
Enca, darling. Honey. Marvel of nature. You can have any man you want. Probably a good number of women, too. Why in the name of all things gnome are you with Patricio?
Ajmkv, hi =D Has anyone told you that you’re adorable?
My thoughts: Episode Specific Questions
1-2
1. Yeah, there are a LOT of people, especially in the earlier episodes. It's hard to make everyone stand out, but I'm happy that the glimmers of their personalities shine through, especially in the first episode that I re-did.
2. Awww, thank you! Yes, I appear physically a little bit more towards the end of the season where you are, but I like adding a little personality to myself even when I'm just "a voice" so that my narration seems a little more relatable, haha. And darn it! I hadn't thought of my hair as an ice-cream swirl, and now I'm craving chocolate soft serve on this summer day. Yimiiiiiii y u do dis
3. lol, poor Mitchell. I also had the impression he'd go home first so I was also surprised when he didn't.
4. Matthison♥ Oh Matthison. Complicated beginning aside, I really do think they grow to be a strong couple, especially later in the story. I'm happy you think they're adorable! And Patty Cake and Goddess Enca... I mean, gosh. If I was Patricio, I wouldn't even consider letting my eyes wander. Sigh. BUT, to be fair... Enca loves him and this becomes a plot point later, as you know So maybe he'll turn a new page?
5. And well, more Patricio, but yes, CIAO buddy. (I actually cackled because wittingly or unwittingly you just quoted the title of one of Enca's songs, and just, yaasssssssss.) ALSO - Patricio is one of the characters I've extensively written about on my wiki and the fact that HE'S the one that spent a lot of time in my real-life hometown is just... sigh. Haha. But I do have a soft spot for him and he does express regret about his lustin' ways later on, as you've read, so maybe he's not all bad.
3-4
1. "Diet-evil" is so accurate and it's just perfect for her. The fact that she targeted Jessie as a way to undermine her in the competition and then Jessie not only forgave her but also got her back later on just goes to show that Charlee isn't as slick or as clever as she thinks she is.
2. Thank you so much! I'm happy the visuals are pleasing, I put a lot of time into them! I hope the quality continues as you read along into the last parts.
3. Excellent! The guest judges are just that, guests, but I like that they add a little flavor to the judging portions of the show. And yes, Jdbw is my good friend and he might end up being a more permanent part of the show if/when I make a Season 3!
4. Good. It's fun to write the situations as super over-the-top but I also want them to be believable in a way that makes the story interesting, so it's nice that this is the case.
5. I think everyone was disappointed that China was a victim of Enca's rabid fan base, and I think that China would have lasted a looooot longer if she hadn't been eliminated for a mediocre week in favor of Enca... but hey, that's the way the peach is sliced. ehehe
5
1. I tend to think about Gabz as a father-like figure in the house despite his indiscretions on the show, so having him show some vulnerability with Todd was nice for me. He's another one of those that I've deeply detailed on my wiki so I love having some of that backstory be referenced in the main story.
2. I'll give you a tidbit of behind-the-scenes info: Marjan was fully a filler character for me for a while, I thought there was no way she'd even reach Top 10. When she continued I really wanted her to be more interesting than she presented, so that's why she's come such a long way. But yeah, at this point she's just silly and there's not much to her character. But as you've seen, there's a shift around Episode 6 from a Matthison-heavy plot to a more "🐸🐸🐸🐸 is happening to Marjan??"-oriented plot.
3. Todd... oh Todd. He managed to make more of a mess than Charlee ever did (and she was rightfully angry about it), and somehow was more hated. Just goes to show, being nice can be more of a benefit on K&GI than being evil and catty! Or at least be shady but nice, like Kyungri♥
4. Hope you like Todd's bonus episode! I recently went back and read it and I love how it holds up against the main story.
5. Thank you so much! You're right, constantly focusing on silly drama and cutthroat competition would get tiring after a while, so it's nice to punctuate it with more relatable mini-stories as a sort of break. Plus, I get to write in a different style and that's always fun! I'm happy you enjoy them, and I hope you like the next ones you read! Also, I am left craving an ice cream sundae with sprinkles unghhh I want!
Arc 1 general questions
1. I mentioned this above, but I'm also sad China left so soon because she could have lasted sooo much longer. That's the competition for you! (And SPOILER IF YOU'RE NOT YIMI China gets to shine a little bit more later on so I guess it's all right.)
2. Keep those lips sealed! Although I'm sure if you had predictions, they'd likely come true. You have such great insight!
3. YAAAAY, I'll answer the questions in another post. You best be ready for these answers.~
1. Is the blog working well for you? I've spent a lot of time looking for a good theme that kind of gives off the whimsy feeling that I want to put forth in the story.
I already told you how much I love your blog but I’ll just say it again: I love your blog!
2. I went back and replaced all the images in each episode with ones that are much smaller in file size to make the pages load faster. Is this working well for you?
I read your story for the first time this week so this is the only way I’ve known your photo’s xD Everything loads fast so that’s all okay.
3. The Episodes used to be one big chunk, with Eliminations separate. They're now 2 - 6 parts to make the reading easier, what do you think of this choice?
Yeah, I like that there are parts. If everything was still in one big chunk like you call it, I don’t know how motivated I would be to read everything through because long texts make me scared xD But then again, it’s a good story so maybe I won’t have that problem xD
4. Do you want more notes? I include a few here and there, but probably 0 after this first chunk of episodes.
For me it’s all perfect the way it is now. No need to change things. If some things are not clear, I’ll just ask it :P
General Questions
1. What are your first impressions of K&GI?
“Oeeeehhhh, reality showww!!!”. I’ve never read a Sims reality show so I was really exited for this because it’s something different from what I’m used to.
2. Obviously I want to make this seem like you're watching a tv show/reading a script instead of simply narrating, do you get this impression? Do I capture the spirit of a reality show?
Absolutely. You won the first prize for getting it exactly right.
3. Do you like my style of writing?
A lot! Don’t change anything.
4. What do you think of my images? I spend a lot of time creating a unified "look" for the seasons, with the promo images, the cast pictures, the icons, the confessionals, the fadeout gifs at the end of each episode, etc, so I'd love to know if you like them!
I can see how much time you spend in your pictures. They are absolutely amazing!
5. Speaking of confessionals, do you like this aspect of the story? Reality shows tend to have these confessional/talking heads moments so I wanted to include them to advance the story.
Yeah! I watch some things on tv where they have confessional/talking moments and I like those moments.
6. Do you like the story so far? It gets more intense and the characters that last longer get more developed as time goes on, but what do you think of the story at this point?
I like it very much and I’m curious to read the rest when I have some time to do again.
Character Questions
1. Do you have a favorite? A least favorite? Why's that?
Harrison for sure. Mygod that guy is an absolute cutie. He just had me from the first second I saw him.
My least favorite is probably Charlee or Marjan for the girls and Todd for the boys. I just want to kick Charlee under her behind for what she’s been doing in this game, ugh I just don’t like her, and Marjan is the typical ‘dumb blondie’ from the Netherlands xD I’m constantly like ‘come on, Marjan, just think!’.
Yeah, Todd… I did like his Kev&Get it More episode but you know, he just ruined everything by hurting my cutie Harrison (I claimed him, I don’t care that he’s into boys, I just claimed him).
2. Do the characters seem realistic for the most part? They're exaggerated because characters tend to be in reality shows, but do you see glimpses of realistic emotions in them?
Yeah, for a reality show like this, they seem really realistic. If I watch reality shows on tv, it’s always like this xD so I didn’t expect less.
3. If you could describe each character in one word, what would it be?
Charlee: Manipulative
China: Easygoing
Enca: Spoiled
Enzo: Silent
Gabriel: Bossy
Harrison: SUPERADORABLE?!!! / Introvert
Jessie: Friendly
Kyungri: Plastic (but behind all the plastic: real)
Louise: Fair
Marjan: Dumb
Matthieu: Sneaky (but also cute)
Mitchell: Shy
Patricio: Arrogant
Todd: Meddlesome
Episode Specific Questions
Episodes 1 - 2
1. What do you think of the character introductions/entrances?
I always have difficulties with new characters in the beginning, so I was just like ‘well, I’m going to read and at some point I’ll know them’ and that’s exactly what happened. I scrolled through the character page but I couldn’t really make something of that :P I also didn’t pay the best attention to everyone when they all walked in the mansion, I just got to know them veryyyyy slowlyyyyy. What I do remember is Enca and Patricio if I’m right? All being romantic and stuff xD It felt very… Reality-showy :P Yeah, I liked every bit of it, although I was still struggling getting to know everyone.
2. What do you think of ajmkv/me? (Rip into me if you must!)
You’re almost as cute as Harrison. xD Did the contestants try to be romantic with you? Plottwist much.
You’re also a really great presenter (is that the right word? I’m typing this in the train with no internet so I can’t check xD). I have absolutely nothing bad to say about you.
How did you come to your name, ajmkv? Just being curious here.
3. Did you have any strong impressions of anyone? Any "oh, they're going home first" feelings?
When Enca got to the bottom three for the third time I was like “Now they won’t save her a third time, right?” but then I was wrong. xD When Todd ruined everything, yeah that was very obvious. If Harisson would have left that episode, I would throw Todd out of the window (I would be super mad). Oh yeah, that Patricio-guy also had ‘goodbye’ feelings, but he’s already gone so that’s good :P
4. What do you think of the most relevant plot threads at this point? (Matthieu and Harrison's romance, Enca and Patricio, etc.)
MATTHIEU AND HARRISONNNNNNN . Okay at first I thought that Matthieu was a little sneaky with his past but really, I live for these two being together.
I didn’t have that with Enca and Patricio but that’s just because they didn’t leave that much of an impression on me. Like Patricio went out first and Enca is just coming on my good side :P
5. Were you sad to see Patricio go?
Nope, byeeeee. xD
Episodes 3 - 4
1. Do you think Charlee has done a good job at becoming the mastermind of the house?
No, I hate Charlee for her actions. She needs to turn around reaaaaaalll fast or I’m going to do the same window throwing with her like I wanted to throw Todd.
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
Oh man, that dance challenge was bomb and thanks to you, that chocolata song is now in my Spotify playlist. xD
Overall I like every challenge. I’m a bit curious of how you get all these points, because you’re a judge yourself but you also made the whole story, so how do you do that, fair and square?
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
The Flavor Girls were a LIIIITLE weird, but they were okay xD I did like your real life friend! Say hi to him from me! (He’ll be like ‘who’s thattttttt’ but idc)
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
Typical reality show once again. Ahhhh, the drama. I loved it.
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
At first, yes. But I also think that it’s helping her to come to senses and I hope I’ll like her more because of that.
Episodes 5 and K&GM: Todd's Homecoming
1. Are Gabriel's feelings towards Todd relatable?
Uuuhhhh. I think I need to reread this chapter. I don’t have much with Gabriel and I started hating Todd in this chapter so I just kinda ignored him xD
2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
She’s still dumb like the dumb blondies in the Netherlands xD (sorry to all the Dutchies in this group, I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just like you guys all have dumb Belgian jokes xD)
3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
OF COURSE I FELT BAD FOR HARRISON. I wanted to jump in the game myself and comfort him. Luckily some other contestants did that for me.
4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
Yeah it did, but I still dislike him. I do hope that he has a beautiful life with his boyfriend! His boyfriend is a good one. A reaaaallll good one.
5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
Did you try a different style of writing? I didn’t even notice that hahahahahaahahahah. I was just so in the story
Arc 1 General Questions
1. Are you upset that anyone left? Would you like to see anyone come back?
Nah, as long as Harrison stays, I’m fine. I’m really going to cry if he goes xD
2. Do you have any predictions?
It’s a reality show. Can you actually have predictions of any kind in these shows? I hope Marjan get less dumb, that Harrison and Matthieu will be happy forever and that Charlee gets a kick in her behind.
3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
You can try to do this with the things I’m curious about? :P
K&GI Producer:Well, it seems like we have some fan questions for some of our favorite Kev & Get It contestants! Let's invite them over for a nice little chinwag. And there are no spoilers, so everyone can join in on the fun.~ Why don't we have Kyungri come in here first?
Producer:Kyungri, how are you feeling?
Kyungri:I am blessed, of course. When I was told I have been summoned from the K&GI basement to come and answer to a dear fan's question, I was thrilled! And not surprised, of course. Who could resist me, Unnie Supreme? Producer:Um, let's forget the part about the basement. Anyway, our beloved watcher @_sims_Yimi has this to say to you! "Kyungri, you know I’m a fan – you grew on me over the story to the point where you’re now one of my favourites. This one is super personal, so it’s fine if you don’t want to answer, but did you turn to plastic because you didn’t like how you looked beforehand?" Do you have any thoughts?
Kyungri:Ah, yes. *Looks into the distance* I have to say, this is a very intrusive question. But I am so gracious, I will bless you with a response. Producer:How generous of you... Kyungri:I know darling. But yes. My old face was not as beautiful as I wanted it to be, and so I decided to work on it. Not to mention that, in order to help my family come out on top, I had a career in... let's just say, something a little unsavory. I needed to avoid being recognized after I left that job. So, my past combined with my not-so flawless face made me decide to utilize my face as a canvas for absolute, plastic beauty. I met Dr. Kim... at my job... and the rest is history! This stunning visage you see now is a culmination of many years of hard work. Producer:And what was that job, Kyungri?
Kyungri:That's quite enough, darling. Time for me to go, may Shaman Unnie bless all you fans with all the money in the world! Well, not quite all the money, the majority is going to me, but, you know. A nice portion. Producer:O...K. Um, let's move on to Enca! Peachy Queen, how are you doing?
Enca:*speaking to a person off camera* ...Actually coming in here to do these confessionals again? I thought the season had been wrapped, honey, they made me come out of the hot tub and get dressed and everything— Producer:AHEM. Enca:Oh! Sorry! I mean.... hi everyone! Goddess Enca here to bless you all, feeling peachy, looking gorgeous, love all on my body! Producer:Thanks, Enca... anyway, our wonderful reader @_sims_Yimi has a special message and question for you: "Enca, darling. Honey. Marvel of nature. You can have any man you want. Probably a good number of women, too. Why in the name of all things gnome are you with Patricio?" Any thoughts?
Enca:Marvel of nature? I like that! Quite accurate too, thank you dear fan! I have to say, it's lovely to hear that I could have anyone. I mean, it's true of course, but sometimes even a goddess like me must remind herself of this. Producer:So why Patricio? Enca:Listen. Patricio and I have a long history. We met during one of my concerts in his country, he's a famous influencer there, and I just couldn't resist him! What you guys don't see on Kev & Get It is that he's very sweet and smart at home, but he puts on this facade when he's out in public... it's one I don't particularly like, but hey, that's show business. We've had some ups and downs and everything... *talking to producer* do I have to avoid spoilers?... I do?... OK... *talking at the camera again* let's just say he's gotten better at controlling himself. I love him, and I can't really explain why... Producer:But do you think it will last?
Enca:We may or may not last... we're both young! First loves tend to be messy, no? But I do love him and I hope you can see another side of him. Heaven knows I've told him he needs to lighten up and focus, but... *sighs* anyway, I must go! I'm expected back on the set of my new music video. Love you all, my little kiwis! *Flounces off* Producer:Quite... lovely! Yes! Um, but we have another question, for our dear ajmkv himself! Let's go over to him.~
ajmkv:Hi Freezer Bunnies! I'm so pleased to be here with you, this week and always! When I heard y'all had questions, I just had to run over, screeching like a banshee, all excited to see what you've written about K&GI. It's been a wonderful week! Producer:Lovely to hear about your enthusiasm, ajmkv! We have a question from an iconic fan, @_sims_Yimi — ajmkv:YIMI! Iconic doesn't even begin to describe her.♥ Producer:*Mumbling* Another interruption and I'll pop... *speaks louder* Yes, indeed! Anyway, she asks: "Ajmkv, hi =D Has anyone told you that you’re adorable?"
ajmkv:*squeals excitedly for five minutes while the producers roll their eyes* THANK YOU YIMI dsjsfhjdsh you're the best♥
***
Ehehe, I loved doing these! I'm looking forward to doing more, hope you like them. And @Skeilah eek, thank you for your answers! I'll get to them soon.
Aaaaaaaaah that was amazing I loved Kyungri's and Enca's answers (Kyungri actually answered, seriously, for real! djhbaefgavetydfq!) and that last bit with you! It's too adorable The poor producers though, haha.
Very entertaining, Jammy!
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
@Mercuryfoam
Finally getting around to answering questions. Apologies for the delay. General Impressions
Overall what do you think of the story?
It's exciting. There's a lot going on and to absorb. Sometimes I get a little confused but usually reading the next chapter or two helps. There's a good bit of darkness lurking beneath the surface and I like it. The bubbling intrigue keeps me engaged, and curious to see what happens next.
Where do you think the story is headed at this point? Any predictions?
Athena is going to get into even more trouble. Curtis will be there to help her. Avery will probably continue to suffer from her daughter's antics. Curtis is a former drug dealer or something shady and his past will probably come back to bite him.
What or who are you hoping gets elaborated upon the most in the next chapters?
I would love to see some more Curtis. Also more about the Aelrendths - who are they? Where they come from? How are they connected to Grim? What powers they have? How they got those powers? And is there really more than 1 Grim? (I have multiple Grims in my Darkness May Dream story; they're actually an entire race. I'm curious if this is similar or different).
I've always visualized B2W to be a thriller. Do the 'thriller' scenes work for you? If no, why?
Absolutely. I think you do a great job of interspersing the images with the text and heightening the thrill or the intensity through the images.
Your feedback will help tremendously as I organise Season 2 of B2W. Which parts do you like? What areas should I focus/improve on? What other advice do you have? Do you have questions for me?
I'm really not that far into the story so… I'm not sure what advice I can give you yet. Love the bite-sized chapters. It makes it easy to read. Love how you intersperse images.
Sometimes the dialogue reads oddly like Athena's long chewing-out of Curtis in one breath. I think I sometimes have this problem too. It helps to read me to read dialogue aloud when editing to make it sound more natural. Sometimes I add pauses in the text/dialogue with ellipsis (…) or breaking up with "said so-and-so" with some action.
I am a little confused about the worldbuilding and perhaps this will be explained in later chapters. Athena and Avery are witches? Enchanters? And Avery came from another world? Is she an Aelrendth? What are/who are the Aelrendth? Am I saying it right - is Aelrendth plural or singular? Are the Aelrendth a race of witches or something else?
I'd love to see more lore, whether you include this in the chapters or you write something separate in author notes like I do or create a separate page or something. I would love to know more about the world. You stated somewhere that the average citizen doesn't "believe" in magic so what is the world's relationship to supernaturals? Are there other supernaturals that aren't witches/enchanters/Grim?
Why don't people believe in magic? That sounds like a stupid question now that I've typed it, but I'm curious. In my Sims world, people know certain supernaturals exist, and other supernaturals are a complete mystery or unknown. The average person bops through life without thinking about it, unless it affects them directly. Supernaturals' powers, if you will, are kept in check by their own kind, and the Sim (human) government (mundanes) regulate certain supernatural activities for the protection of the greater public. There is racial prejudice that runs deep, but again, this isn't blatantly open in society. Certain supernaturals are more affected by prejudice and hatred than others.
Feel free to not answer certain questions if the answers would be spoilers.
Writing Style
How would you describe the writing style(s)? Does it work for the story?
I'm not sure the exact word I'd use to describe the style. It varies and changes a bit between chapters, and I think that's okay. It's nice to see a writer experimenting with different styles. I try this too from time to time.
What do you think about the story's pacing? Any 'lags' or parts that were too fast?
I don't think so. Pacing seems fine. Other than I'd like to hurry up and know more. So I'll keep reading.
What do you think about the amount of narration and description?
Sometimes the text is a little too sparse. I feel like the first time I really got to know Athena (and actually like/identify with her character) was early in the journal chapter and later when she and Curtis are in the park together.
I rely on pictures to speak for themselves sometimes. Have you come across any parts like that? Does this style work for you?
I think it's awesome when pictures can tell the story. A picture is worth a thousand words. It makes great use of the Sims game as a platform to tell the story. In my own writing, I rely heavily on words and less on pictures for better or worse. I think it's nice to describe what's happening in the scenes in case the pictures don't load or to add a little more context even if it's just a short sentence in between images.
What do you think of story flow? Any specific scenes to improve upon? (Confusing dialogue, scenes not elaborated)
Also Curtis is a bit too shrouded in mystery with little context. I'd love to see more of him in upcoming chapters. It just makes me all the more curious about him though so maybe it's not a bad thing. The slow reveal… as a writer, I love it! Reader? Not so much… but it keeps me engaged.
It would be nice to see more of his backstory, or a bit more elaboration on his connection to some of the other characters like Kian. He also seemed to know a bit much about the murdered guy. Oh and what happened to Grim? He was in the alley and then he was gone.
The jumping around is a little confusing like when you did the flashback to the brawl itself, but it was also well done. I know. I'm not making sense. :sweatsmile: I just meant it took me a minute to realize what you were doing, but once I did, I liked it.
I did wonder about Clarissa. Like who is she? Where did she come from? Did she just move to town and is she just a mean girl or is there more to it? Why did she start picking on Athena? Athena seemed to have friends before and then suddenly they didn't like her anymore. They were that influenced by Clarissa? And how did she suddenly end up at the same high school as Athena?
Athena keeps talking about how Clarissa bullies her and implies she "deserved" the beating, but we didn't really see anything happen between the girls as teens. I would sympathize with Athena more if I knew what exactly Clarissa does/did to her and how she speaks to her. Probably wouldn't excuse it, but it would help me understand. Right now Clarissa feels a bit two-dimensional, stereotypical mean girl.
Also how is Clarissa connected to the gang of boys (other than her boyfriend) that cornered Athena? Like how did she get mixed up with the likes of someone like Steve and his friends? I get why the "gang" of boys is there in the story, but the average kid doesn't just suddenly end up in a gang.
Have you noticed any obvious grammatical errors/ writing patterns that needs to be addressed? (English is my second language, this will help tremendously.
Not that I can recall. But I'll let you know if I notice something going forward. And don't feel bad. I catch grammatical errors in my stories every once in awhile. Even native English speakers don't always get things right.
Chapter 1-3: Opening
Did the Prologue and introduction to Athena interest you to read further? If it did, why? If it didn't, why?
The Prologue helped put the family and story into context. I always like a little background on my characters and their family. I loved the diary entries of Athena. I thought she was a sweet, if not, a little misunderstood kid. Her dad's death genuinely affected her, and the gradual build up to the bullying was masterful. I remember wanting to know what would happen to Athena, and if she would get justice, or if she would try and repair a relationship with Clarissa or at least her (former) friends.
What do you think of Athena and Curtis’s first interaction after the brawl, then the park scene? How would you describe their relationship at this point?
It was almost like a meet-cute, if not for the awfulness of the brawl before. I loved the park scene. It was probably my favorite chapter thus far as I felt like I could relate to both characters. I wanted to know more. I felt like we were getting to know them. They seem to have a friendship developing, and Curtis definitely is attracted to our girl, Athena. I would love to see it develop into more, and I have a feeling romance is coming, but then again, I'm worried for Athena and her current situation, and I don't know if I should quite trust Curtis fully yet.
What are your thoughts/impressions on Aelrendths?
I've asked a million and one questions above, so I'll leave it at that. For now, I'm confused, but intrigued.
What do you think of Athena? What about her was relatable? What wasn't? Is her character believable?
I want to like Athena. I really do. I struggle because she seems so hardened and angry about being bullied. She seems to use her father's death and the press's treatment of her family as an excuse to act out against her mom. I understand it, but I can't excuse it. I'd love more chapters like the park scene or perhaps interacting with/softening up to her family (and Aries… where is that kid?).
She keeps talking about Clarissa as this horrible person, but we have yet to see Clarissa really "on screen" or in a scene and I'd love to see that because I think it would help me understand the girl's relationship dynamic and what is truly so awful about Clarissa. I know sometimes kids bully just because, but usually they themselves have been bullied or are abused by parents or older siblings, or they are somehow encouraged to continue cruel behavior by an authority figure or witness said authority figure bullying others. I think it's believable that Athena slipped into a pattern of self-destructive behavior after losing her father, the badgering of the press, and her school bullies.
I feel pity for Athena, and I feel concern about her future. I also really want to know more about her connection to the Aelrendths and her mother's background. You hinted Avery came from "another world." If so, where? I think understanding the Aelrendths and Athena's powers will help me figure out her character more.
What do you think of Curtis? Did his choices and actions make sense to you? What are your predictions of him?
Maybe I'm in the minority here. I said above I'm not sure if I should fully trust Curtis. Is he using Athena for some reason? If so, what? Or is he an Aelrendth too? Or a protector of one? Did he just happen to be in the right place at the right time and like he appears in the text, was intrigued by Athena, concerned about the guys cornering/beating up a girl?
Where is his family? Did his parents die? Did he runaway? Is he in a gang of his own? You almost seemed to imply that in the text like when he told Steve and the gang to get out of his territory, but I could be wrong. How did he meet Kian?
I mentioned predictions above. I smell a troubled past, a desire for redemption, and budding romance with Athena but they're from opposite sides of the track. That could complicate and intensify things.
What do you think of Grim and Kian?
Grim is hilarious. I love him already. He implied there are other Grims, which has me intrigued. I loved his unusual way of speaking and how lighthearted he seemed about dark and "grim" things.
Kian is a bit shrouded in mystery for me too. Time will tell how I feel about his character. For now, I see him as a loyal and protective friend.
@ajamkev Good gravy! I'm forever behind on this, but finally got some time to answer. Thank you so much for your long and detailed reply. I was excited to read it.
General Questions 1. All my Sims stories take place in the future (with an alternative history on Earth) on another planet (Simterra). What do you think of the worldbuilding? Does everything make sense? What additional questions do you have about the world building?
Wow, just... wow. Your worldbuilding is magnificent. So many details everywhere! It must have taken you a lot to build a world like this that seems familiar and yet is so richly different from what we know, and I really applaud you for it. I'm not always looking for worldbuilding when I read Sim stories, but I really love stories that incorporate this because I'm a quite voracious reader and love knowing even the most irrelevant minutiae about universes. Your story scratches this itch, and then some! Everything is presented in a way that plunges us into your world, but you also have very useful explanations about everything from the time frame, to the history, to the calendar, to the geography, and to the lifestyle, and even more! What made you interested in creating such an expansive and intricate world with such a rich history?
About your more recent question, I think pages on your blog with detailed descriptions of the worldbuilding elements like timeline, countries, languages, cultures, and things like that would be useful! Almost like a wiki that people like me that are really avid about reading deep details like this can peruse outside of the main story. We mentioned this in the comments of your blog, but I have my own wiki and I use it as a way to have characters and other things laid out in a very structured way and also for deepening characters, etc. outside of the constraints of the story, and I think you have more than enough information about your world to put in a format like this, and that could be an interesting project for you.
Thank you so much. I spent a lot of time building and rebuilding this world. I'm still building. It's a never ending project. I love worldbuilding and always have so it felt natural to build out an entire world/universe with Sims stories. I'm so glad you like the "most irrelevant minutiae" because I do too. I'm the kind of person that reads author interviews and movie trivia and the like because I want to know what went into building the world and characters and story.
I'm working on blog pages for KCLKF since that's the main story blog with worldbuilding details - at least maps, some history, cultures, and languages and stuff. So far, I have Maps up. And it's a long way to go… but it's coming.
I do have another blog for Simterra stuff, but the longer I work there, the more I'm thinking a Wiki would make a lot more sense. Thanks for your PM reply about the Wiki stuff. I hope to reply to that soon too.
2. I put little Author's Notes at the bottom of every chapter. Are they useful? Do you like them? Do they help clarify things from the chapter?
Yes, they're very useful and interesting! I love learning even more details about your world, I'm fascinated by the degree of worldbuilding that you have in the story, so I look forward to your notes after each chapter. They're useful, as well, because you explain things in a way that's clear and concise and that would have been awkward to insert into the chapters themselves. Often, I have questions about the chapters only to find that you help clarify them in the notes, and I like this. I could see that not everyone might like the notes because I suppose they could break the immersion in the story when there's a break in the narration like that between chapters, but I tend to enjoy them very much.
I'm glad the author notes don't break immersion. I think someone suggested links to additional content if people are interested, which is where a Wiki would come in handy, but… in the meantime, I'll keep using author's notes.
3.The chapters are broken into arcs. Is this helpful? Do you find the breaks natural? (sometimes I use cliffhangers)
Having arcs like this helps divide the story into bite-size pieces and I think that's effective. If it was all just chapters with no divisions to help with the reading it would be a little daunting, especially since your story is long. I liked having the arcs, they helped me with setting up breaks in the reading to let things sink in. The breaks are natural to me, they come at good moments and they frequently motivate me to keep reading because the intrigue you leave the readers with at the end of the chapter is just to good to stop. I'm not confused about the arcs or the chapters included in each because I think it flows well.
Thank you. I'm glad you feel motivated to read.
Since I'm planning on writing multiple stories with Kass, these chapters were all labeled 1 point something. Story two will be 2 point something. I tried to break up the chapters into "mini arcs," but I think the "Arc" part is confusing to some folks. I might stick to Parts in the future, but I have several chapters with multi-parters and I use "part" there already. Not sure what I'll do going forward. I'm still thinking about how to appropriately name sections.
4. What is your initial impression of Kass, my main character/the protagonist?
Kass is great character. Even from the beginning, you've captured the essence of life at that point with all of the emotions that come with the age. She has a very rich and detailed history, and knowing all of these details about her life helps me to identify with her on some things and sympathize with her in others. You've created a very relatable character with a lot of depth and I really found myself rooting for her from the very beginning.
I feel like people either love or dislike Kass. The first time I wrote this story I didn't go into as much depth about her thoughts, emotions, background, motivations, etc. and that made her less relatable. This time around I feel confident with how I've written her character. She's flawed and she's far from perfect, but I think she's relatable and sympathetic. I'm glad you are rooting for her.
5. The first part of the story is most definitely slice-of-life with some elements of supernatural/fantasy and mystery thrown in. Do you like it? How is it similar or different to other slice-of-life stories you've read?
I like it a lot. I think that you have a wonderful style of writing that immerses the reader into the life of Kass and the other characters, and the slice-of-life approach is very effective. I'm so immersed in the world you've built that when things like the fantasty and supernatural elements come into play I find myself believing them even though I know they're fictional. I like this because even though the slice-of-life approach is very popular, yours is very detailed and immersive and I truly feel like I'm witnessing the life of a character that I've grown to know well and like.
6. Any thoughts on my writing style? The length of chapters? The pacing?
I love your writing style. The chapters are rich with detail, and I love learning more about not only the characters but the whole world they live in when I read each part. You have a way of writing emotions and interactions that feels very realistic and my immersion as a reader is very satisfying. I think the chapters are a good length, easy to read if I want just a few at a time, but also if I want to binge (like I did over the last couple of days). The pacing also works well, not too much happening in each chapter, but just enough. Things don't seem to go too fast, but I don't feel like any part of the story drags along too much either, even when certain chapters have several parts. I see from your more recent questions that the pacing has been brought up, but honestly it hasn't bothered me.
Thank you so much. Your words are too kind. I really hoped to create a fully immersive experience where you can feel like you're there at times. I know it's not everyone's thing or style, but it works for me. I personally like feeling immersed in a story and world because it helps me connect with the characters and adds to the realism.
Arc Specific Questions:
Arc 1:
What do you think of the Prologue (the first five chapters)? Do you feel like it gives you a good introduction to Kass, her family, and backstory? Do you have additional questions about her family/past?
I think this is very well done. From what I read in your notes, this wasn't quite as developed in the first iteration of KCLKF, and I wonder what that looked like. As it is, I think the prologue is a very detailed and wonderful way of getting to know Kass's family and her backstory. I entered the main story with lots of knowledge about her and I think that helped me instantly feel comfortable with the events. I'm really looking forward to seeing how these details come into play at later points in her life, because I'm sure they will and I'm happy I knew about them beforehand. I don't particularly have any further questions about her past at this point because you did such a flawless job of presenting these details.
The Prologue was a single chapter without as rich detail. Thank you so much for your kind words. I can't thank you enough. These really made my day!
Arc 2
What do you think of the introduction of Kass' relationship with her mom and sisters? Does it feel realistic? What about the introduction of her friends, Ayesha and Gage?
It certainly feels realistic to me! Given that they're at different ages (but not too different), it's normal to see these sort of playful, sometimes annoying, interactions. I enjoyed Kass's interactions with her mom, as well. I think the little details you placed here and there of how they interact (Kass giving her mom a little sass, Amy almost babying her in the way she speaks to her, the descriptions of Amy's smell and the temperature of her feet, little things like this) makes them feel natural and realistic. I can almost feel my own mom coming through in Amy's character...
About Ayesha and Gage, well. I like Ayesha a lot, she seems like a grounded, motivated young woman who wants to move away from the strict limitations of her family and their religion. I especially like how she's a great friend to Kass. I'm looking forward to seeing more of her! Gage, well, I had a less-than-stellar first impression of him with how he spoke to Kass in Future Plans, Part 2, but his interlude really helped to make him more sympathetic, and I enjoyed the glimpse into his family life that we got. I can't say I like him quite yet, but I'm certainly interested by him.
I based the sibling interactions on my own experiences with my sisters. Again, I try to give the reader a fully immersive experience. It's nice to see someone who appreciates the little details. It's funny. People are either solely in Gage's camp or solely in Davis'. Haha. He doesn't have the greatest intro here, but it's what happened in game so I ran with it.
Arc 3
a) What are your thoughts about Clark? Thoughts about VJ?
VJ seems like a great guy! I felt almost predisposed to dislike him because of the way we first meet him, but honestly he seems like he genuinely cares for and respects Andi and wants the best for her, so I like him. Clark... well, he seems really sketchy. What is it with him and the fake accent? Not to mention the sketchy meeting at the park. He seems nice enough when he's interacting with Kass and her family, but knowing that it's likely a front makes him really unlikable. Similarly to Gage (back when I first read about him! My thoughts have changed by now), I can't say I like him, but he's certainly interesting.
The fake accent thing... haha. Perhaps I should've abandoned that little detail because it was confusing. I do explain later, but I'm not sure it's entirely satisfactory. I do think it lends to Kass' mistrust of him and puts the readers on edge.
b) Andi and Kass discuss faith. What are your thoughts about my take on the Jacoban/Peteran faith from Sims Medieval?
I actually haven't played The Sims Medieval before, so I can't quite answer this question as fully as I would like, but I did do a bit of reading on the Sims wiki and I think you've taken the basics and introduced religion into your world very well. I'm not particularly religious, but I appreciated that the character that brings it up in the story seems to be very faithful and excited by it. It's a refreshing perspective considering that so much modern fiction tends to look at religion as a bad thing.
I actually take a few pages from my favorite sci-fi shows, Babylon 5 and Firefly. Both shows treat religion with respect and allow it to move in the background, influence and shape characters to a certain extent, while others are unaffected by it. It's subtle and there, but it's not over-powering nor is it ignored. That's my goal, and occasionally sharing some of my own experiences.
c) Andi and Kass also discuss dating and Kass proceeds to think about her love life. Did it feel realistic?
Yes, I think it's pretty realistic! I've spent many nights reminiscing about my little crushes from my childhood and pre-teenage years. The way she thought about them and remembered their little moments together was cute.
I had fun with the reminiscing. It was a trip down memory lane for me.
d) Also, this arc introduces one of the many mysteries in this story. How do you think I handled its introduction?
The mystery you introduced with Clark is interesting! I think the way that you first presented it, with us witnessing what Kass heard and saw, was the perfect way to do it because it didn't seem forced or hamfisted. Kass was out looking for her sister and just happened to run into a man who was already coming to her home, it's believable. Also, the mystery isn't some sort of enormous conspiracy, it's something more mundane (not that this is a bad thing, and also this isn't to mean that the things that Kass suspects are mundane, haha) and that seems pretty realistic to me!
Kass just so happened to ... fall into it! She does this a lot. No comment on the conspiracy. Haha. You'll see more in the future. All I can say for now is everything's connected. I'm obsessed with connecting things.
Arc 4
What are your thoughts about Davis? Did you like his interlude?
I like him. He seems authentic and good. He's also interesting; I, like Kass, am intrigued about his studying biology. His flirting with Kass wasn't over the top at all, it was more subtle and suave than overbearing. Kass obviously feels that he's into her, but it's not creepy or too much, it's just right. Seeing her swoon over him was fun! And the interlude, well. That put me firmly on Davis's team, consider me a Davis fan! I liked seeing what he thought about Kass and seeing glimpses of his own vulnerability when he doubted if Kass was even into him. He's a delight, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where his story with Kass goes!
Also P.S. I really loved the hints he threw about Kass's conversation with Howard not going very well, I like seeing little details of the story unfold like this without Kass's insight specifically. I mean, it's going to be interesting to see her discuss her talk with her dad, but I liked getting a piece of information from another character's perspective.
I wanted Davis to feel realistic. I still have fond memories of their original meeting in the coffee shop. I enjoy switching perspectives every once in awhile to deepen the story so I'm glad you enjoyed his side story.
Arc 5
a) Howard drops a bit of a shock on Kass. How do you feel about this father/daughter reunion? What about the introduction of EXCES?
Wow! I wasn't expecting him to be dying, even though I imagined that he had some sort of big bombshell to drop on Kass given the way he approached her prior to the coffee date. I think it's selfish of him to want to reconnect after all this time just because HE wants to feel some sort of fulfillment by reaching out to his daughters. What about THEIR feelings? I don't know. I understand him, but he hasn't cared about their feelings for years and suddenly he wants Kass to forgive him and move on? Again, I understand his reasons and I feel bad for him that he's going through such a terrible disease, but I can't help but be angry at him. And EXCES, wow! It's a fictional disease but you did such a good job of explaining the basics of it and the treatment, I felt like it could be real. Your detailed writing really helps when you introduce things like this.
EXCES. Yes.This is the moment my friend, Rip likes to say "and here's where the story becomes fantasy."
b) Amy struggles with depression. Did that show in the chapters?
Yes, it really did. I mean, it was very relevant in the prologue within the text, and I saw glimpses here and there when Kass was interacting with her. I like that you didn't make it the main talking point when mentioning Amy, and instead you built up her character slowly as time went along, adding details and interactions that pointed to her depression. You can really tell that Amy has long been self-effacing when it comes to her daughters and this (among other things, I'm sure) has led to her becoming depressed to the point where Kass feels like she has to tell her outright that she deserves to be happy. It's sad but pretty realistic.
c) Kass also exhibits signs of anxiety. Does that show in the chapters?
I think so, yes. Especially in the way that she thinks about the things happening in her life. The way she's terrified about all the changes happening around her, I think, is very telling. She obviously has a problem with this and it's manifesting in anxiety about things she can't really, and shouldn't, control.
It's more prevalent later on, in addition to other struggles.
d) What do you think about Kass' job offer?
It's interesting! I like this idea for her, I think it will be good for her to do something that's not quite related to what she's been doing so far. It will be a nice change of environment for her, will look good on her CV, and it might be a convenient way of investigating Clark. I hope she accepts the offer.
Very convenient indeed!
Arc 6
a) what did you think of Kass and Ayesha's interactions?
I LOVE THEM! I really love who Ayesha is, she's fun, kind, sweet, but also gives Kass a little bit of sass and has a great sense of humor. She's the kind of friend I am, honestly, and I love seeing her interactions with Kass. I like Kass a lot, of course, but sometimes she seems like she's too serious for her age, and having some levity in the story through her friendship with Ayesha is really lovely. I'm a huge Ayesha fan! Favorite character by far.
I'm so glad to see Ayesha getting some love. She's one of my favorites too, and she was a premade TS3 Sim. I loved how these girls bonded immediately in game. I based Ayesha loosely off three different friends of mine so it helps me keep up the realism.
b) What about the meetup with Davis? How do you feel about a relationship between Kass and Davis?
I think you've captured the feeling of awkwardly flirting with a teenage crush quite well. I mean, I remember exactly what that was like, and this reflected it wonderfully. Kass is a nervous mess when it comes to him, and I love seeing how he's still suave and smooth even when it's quite obvious that she's into him. I think having his interlude earlier where he also expressed nervousness was instrumental in me really rooting for them to be a thing. I really like them together! Kass deserves someone like this, who's going to excite her but also respect her and treat her well.
I do wonder, though, where this will go because Kass is... leaving for another city, no? How is this going to work out if it becomes a romantic relationship?
Kass is definitely less experienced, that's for sure. Another point for #teamdavis! Also... you'll find out what happens to their relationship. Gah! I want to say more, but spoilers!
c) What about when the girls went to the high school to "spy?"
I wasn't expecting Kass to come up with an idea like this! I can see why she thinks it's useful to find out more things about Clark, who's definitely a shady character, but I really hope she doesn't get caught because that would be super awkward and could cause trouble between Amy and Clark. Edit: Phew, they didn't get caught. I'm glad! Though I'm not sure how useful to Kass this breaking and entering will be in the long run. And it's bad that their intrusion caused such a commotion.
Yes, no one seems to expect Kass to do something like this. I wanted to introduce her impulsiveness and compulsiveness to find the truth no matter the cost early on in the story, which is why I added this chapter. (It wasn't in the original). Yeah, it's not exactly the most ideal situation and it did cause a bit of alarm.
Arc 7
How do you feel about Gage's confession? Do you think Kass could've reacted/responded differently? Did you like Gage's interlude?
I'm not a huge fan of his timing. I'm happy he spoke up about it, though. I think Kass needed to hear it because she's been insecure about their friendship/relationship since she realized she likes him. I think her reaction to it was very appropriate, given the last few days. I am very here for her having a relationship with someone she has an uncomplicated connection with, Davis, and I think she should allow herself the liberty of pursuing this, because she deserves to have a bit of fun and excitement in her life without all the baggage that a romantic relationship with Gage would entail. Not to mention that he'd probably grow to resent her if he sets aside everything that he's been wanting to do AND his dream school for her, even though he does say that he already has a family that he loves (I particularly enjoyed this bit, I always thought it was a little harsh that he didn't consider call his foster parents his parents). I liked his interlude, it was interesting to see his perspective on everything that happened in that moment.
As you'll see, Gage's timing has never been a strong suit for him. It's also good to hear you liked her reaction. Some people hated it. I think it's appropriate too for her to take some time and think things through before making her decision. I was hoping my readers would see/feel that too. I love your analysis of the situation and I couldn't have said it better myself.
Other Questions
1. Kass is intended to be a flawed character. She isn't perfect, but I feel this makes her more realistic. Do her flaws annoy you or deepen her character? Or something else entirely? What do you see as her strengths/gifts?
Kass seems very realistic to me. Her flaws don't annoy me, personally, but I can see why they would other people because she seems to be stubborn in some ways and naive in others. I think this deepens her character and makes her more relatable and/or likable; nobody really wants to root for a Mary Sue, we want to see weakness and growth. Her strengths?... I think she's a very intelligent young woman with a very big heart, and even though this leads her to have many anxieties about how she relates to other characters, I think these are ultimately her biggest strengths because they make her a likable person with much depth.
I am glad you like Kass. Not everyone does, and that's okay. I didn't want to write a Mary Sue, as you said. She is very loosely based on a younger version of me. I started writing her character/story as part of therapy and it blossomed into this huge thing. I have really enjoyed the journey to reconnecting with passions and interests from my younger days and working through difficulties and traumas through writing. Kass' story is very personal for me and I think that adds to the realism.
2. Do you have a favorite character so far? Do you have a least favorite character? Who do you want to know more about?
I think it was pretty obvious from my comments on your blog :P but I really love Ayesha! She's a breath of fresh air in your story and adds a lot of lighthearted moments that make me enjoy the story even more. I mentioned this, but I think she allows Kass to be fun and have fun, because Kass tends to be anxious and serious. She's a great friend, and I find myself really relating to her a lot of the time.
A least favorite character... oh gosh. If I answer honestly, I think Howard so far is my least favorite. I liked having his history in the prologue, because he seems like a good person, but he has a lot of flaws and comes off as pretty selfish a lot of the time, so I find myself disliking him in most of his scenes. I'm interested to see where his story goes, and hopefully he will be able to be a less selfish person.
I would love to know more about Kate. One thing that bothered me a little during my read through the story was the constant vilifying of her by Kass and her sisters. I mean, it's completely understandable that they feel this way but I think it was a bit much and annoyed me, especially since I don't think Kate deserves that. I mean, as far as I can remember, it wasn't her fault Kass's parents separated, and she came into Howard's life and it was him that pursued her, no? I didn't get the impression that she was purposefully a homewrecker, I dunno, maybe it went over my head? This might be an unexpected answer as she's been one of the most irrelevant of side characters in terms of screen time, but I found myself thinking a lot about her and her story.
I love Ayesha too! And she offers great comedic relief. I can understand why people don't like Howard. His character develops over time so we'll see how you feel about him later. Hmm... you know I never really did address Kate again. She does make a few minor appearances. That's a regret from this arc, but I'll hopefully talk about her in future stories. She did pursue Howard a smidge too, but then again, she didn't know he was married at first.
3. Do you have a favorite scene/chapter thus far?
I love Arc 6! Kass seems like she's trying to be a grown-up a lot of the time, and I get it, she had to grow up pretty quickly after the heartbreak with her parents' divorce, but I like seeing moments when she's just a teenager and living the awkward, fun, and exciting emotions that come with the age. I especially like that Ayesha gets to shine a lot in this arc, and since I'm #teamdavis, I loved seeing the interactions between him and Kass.
Arc 6 was a pleasure to write. And more points for #teamdavis!
4. Any future predictions based on where you are in the story?
I think Davis and Kass will have a very intense summer, but cracks in their relationship will begin to show when Kass realizes she's leaving and he's not coming with her. Clark will continue to be shady and this will eventually affect Kass's relationship with Amy since she knows more than Amy knows, that can't be good. Kass's relationship with Gage will be awkward for a while after his confession, I wonder where their friendship will end up.
Love your predictions. Can't wait to see what you think later in the story!
What questions do you have for me? Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
Phew! I think I asked a couple questions in my answers, but I'm especially curious about the worldbuilding. You've probably answered that by now, but that's the main questions about the story I have at this point. Other questions; I know you have a busy life from what you've shared here about your job, how do you balance your writing, reading, and your professional and personal life? Sorry if this is personal, but I find it fascinating that you have SO much writing and intricate worldbuilding with multiple stories, and on top of that you make the time to read others' stories, even with what seems like a very full "real world" life. I really admire that!
I don't. Haha. Okay, seriously. Balance is something I struggle to achieve. I'd like to stick to an organized schedule with a couple days of writing, gameplay, and then reading other people's stories, and editing my own. But my writing ebbs and flows.
Usually I binge write and then I have dry spells for days, sometimes weeks. I really just like to write when inspiration strikes. However, sometimes it's just getting over the hurdle of getting started. I spend a lot of time thinking about opening and closing lines of chapters and once I've got those, everything else just flows for me.
I tend to be pretty hard core and throw myself 110% into just about everything. A little like Kass. Eek! Hopefully with a little more wisdom and maturity though. As for reading, I try to do a little first thing in the morning. It helps me wake up. And then if I have time, a little on a lunch break or at night before bed.
In terms of professional and personal life, I try to set good boundaries. I always take a lunch break away from my desk and try to get out of the office (walk or drive to the park, even in winter) so I can eat and read. I also try and take some time on work breaks and in the evening to reply to comments and answer questions. Since COVID, I started working from home so I literally have breaks built into my day where I get up from my computer and walk away to do something else (i.e. spend time with husband/friends, cook dinner, watch a show, play with my cats) before returning later in the evening to write. I am most inspired to write at night. I have different browsers set up for Sims/writing and work stuff to keep things separate. I also remove all my work notes and work laptop from my desk when it's time to game/write Sims stuff.
Hope that answers your questions. I had fun working my way through, and apologize for the exceedingly long delay.
1.What do you think of the character introductions/entrances?
Just like a tv series I can imagine super hip music playing in the background as each character makes a dramatic entrance and display their personalities. I like how it started with Enca because she has such a diva personality and is a great first impression to Kev & Gev. I can’t imagine someone like Harrison being featured first for example. It just wouldn’t be the same. Btw what’s Kiwi in reference to? Enca says it alot.
2. What do you think of ajmkv/me? (Rip into me if you must!) To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to ajmkv. He had some lines at the start but they were pretty neutral (except that one time ajmkv called Kyungri plastic, but it was an outlier) and designed to not grab attention so as not to steal the limelight from the characters that were being introduced, and then at the end he had some lines again to get the crowd pumping and party started. In that sense he’s a great host, but if I’m supposed to see something deeper, Idk. He did his part well here. I also tried reading more into his other lines in the episodes but he just seems like a (mostly) neutral host with a vibrant sassy attitude important for reality tv shows.
3. Did you have any strong impressions of anyone? Any "oh, they're going home first" feelings?
Louise, China, Kyungri, Jessie, Mitchell, Enca, Patricio and Harrison stood out for me. By strong impressions I don’t mean that I like them all, I mean that I could identify/associate a strong trait to. I didn’t have a ‘who’s going home first’ feeling because I don’t watch reality tv shows. I used to watch America’s next top model and The biggest loser, but those were a long-long time ago. We’re talking decades. I’m happy to be pulled along the ride here.
4. What do you think of the most relevant plot threads at this point? (Matthieu and Harrison's romance, Enca and Patricio, etc.)
Knowing that Matthieu already has Maciej and is not distancing himself from Harrison made me lose respect for him completely. Just because Maciej cheated on him in the first season doesn’t mean Matthieu should stoop to his level. Because of that, their romance left a bad taste for me and I cannot ship him and Harrison together. My hope is that Harrison dumps his a*s in the upcoming episodes but I highly doubt it with his personality. Patricio is in the same boat as Matthieu for me. I’m glad he went home otherwise I’d have to tolerate two cheaters.
I personally like Enca. She seems perfectly nice, a bit on the jealous side because she likes a sleazebag like Patricio so he’s going to rile up her jealousy with his antics. If she were with a less frivolous man, I don’t think she’d be that jealous) Although she talks about her star power and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 a lot, she seems to me like a victim because people are constantly against her for no valid reason.
5. Were you sad to see Patricio go? No. Good riddance.
Episodes 3 - 4
1.Do you think Charlee has done a good job at becoming the mastermind of the house?
I’m surprised she got Todd on her side. And as I pointed out in the comments, I thought her choice of alliances are weird. She’d be better off making alliances through sincere (insincere) friendships and taking things slowly. To put it out there as straightforwardly and obviously communicates insincerity and using others. It’s no wonder Louise and Gabriel didn’t feel any of it. I wouldn’t too.
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
Absolutely, I like anything skill-based and I love ANTM. I like that some public opinion is featured too. I remember expressing my disgust at a particular public opinion in the comments section, but that shows I’m enjoying reading what other virtual people have to say about the competition and how they did.
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
I thought Jdbw was fine. Full of sass but fun and entertaining. The Flavor Girls completely.. uh.. blew me away with the things they say. And I’m sorry to say I got blown into the sewers and IT the clown came and swallowed me whole and I still think this is the better alternative than listening to what they have to say. First impressions aside, I felt much better about reading what they had to say when they started judging. I think I read the comments that some of your readers want them back. I cringe when I realise I’ll be hearing from them again.
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.) Yes. Out of all of them I felt most happy for Louise’s growth and saddest for Enca. She seems fine, but is so stereotyped to the point that no one can see past her projections. Only Harrison is nice enough to try and see the person underneath. There are no parts in Kev and Gev show that featured her trying to connect with the other contestants so I’m not sure if she tried to change her situation. Hence, I’m operating on the assumption that she tried (because who wouldn’t, a person like Enca will know how important it is to have good relations), but ultimately failed.
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
More pity and frustration than annoyance. I thought it was unfair for her to be at the bottom albeit realistic.
Episodes 5 and K&GM: Todd's Homecoming **oops I answered this without reading Todd's Homecoming** I'll edit no. 4 later lol.
1.Are Gabriel's feelings towards Todd relatable?
I’m going to say no. I understand that Gabriel sees Todd as his older brother but maybe it’s because I don’t remember much of last episode (I did reread quickly) or maybe because these two contestants hadn’t made much of an impression for me, but I can’t see how Todd is ‘older brother’ material. Pablo sounds like a dependable, responsible older brother and Todd has not done anything to portray the same traits as Pablo so Gabriel is seeing something there that I don’t see unless Todd looks like his older brother.
2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
After episode 4, I don’t trust her. Will add to this as I read. Marjan’s mask is completely off this episode. I’m trying to figure out what is it that rattled her so immensely for her to show so many holes in her disguise. I can’t think of anything except that she kind of liked Mitchell and he got eliminated. It’s not enough justification for her carelessness this episode though. Hoping to find out as I go.
3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
Oh definitely feeling bad for Harrison. After all Matthieu is his first kiss.
Edit: Okay I just realised how short my comment is here. But if you check your blog I left you a mammoth comment about Matthieu and Harrison hahaha. Please check my true response there
4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
Is this episode supposed to redeem him? Because it kinda went the other way. He operated on flawed logic, went against his alliance for personal glory, showed horrible Olympic sportsmanship through a low / dirty tactic, and was inconsiderate and hurtful against Harrison. Man, what a cringe when he did that.
Edit: Okay so I read Todd's Homecoming. I like that he grew up and realised what a d*ck of a person he is. It does help redeem him. I'll feel better reading about him if he ever makes a guest appearance. I'm going to leave my super judgey previous comment up anyway so you can see how effective your chapter was in redeeming him.
5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
I’m not quite sure what has shifted sorry. I’m immersing myself in the story and if there’s something technical that shifted I’m afraid I didn’t pick it up at all. All I can say is I enjoyed the story when I first started reading, and I still enjoy it now.
Arc 1 General Questions
1.Are you upset that anyone left? Would you like to see anyone come back?
I wouldn’t say I’m upset. I do like China so I was hoping she’d get more airtime. It felt particularly unfair when she left because during that episode there were people who deserved to go home much more than she did.
2. Do you have any predictions?
Nope I’m enjoying it. Don’t really want to predict anything. Btw, I keep forgetting to mention this in the comments but I disagreed with the participants that the Olympics was boring. I thought it was great. lol sorry for using this space I suddenly thought about it.
3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
Enca: You became a superstar at age 15 and you mentioned you were a different person when you first started out. Could you share with us how’d you make your debut and of yourself back then?
Kyungri: People are always taking jabs at the fact that you’ve went under the knife and most say it behind your back but some do say it to your face. What are your thoughts about how people treat you?
Mitchell Gabriel : In your bio, it implies that you let your community identities rule you (being dad, coach, husband) but you don’t have space to let your true self shine. Tell us more about this true self that seems to be disconnected from the roles you have to play in your community.
To ajmkv:
1.Who’s your favourite character? Who’s your least favourite? Why?
2.Who would be your best buddy/friend irl?
3.Are any of your characters based off real people? Where do you get inspiration and stock for so many characters?
4.What is a theme you like writing about (besides reality tv shows if that’s a theme)
5.I think you’re at the end of the season, do you plan to do a season 3?
@Mercuryfoam
Finally getting around to answering questions. Apologies for the delay. General Impressions
Overall what do you think of the story?
It's exciting. There's a lot going on and to absorb. Sometimes I get a little confused but usually reading the next chapter or two helps. There's a good bit of darkness lurking beneath the surface and I like it. The bubbling intrigue keeps me engaged, and curious to see what happens next.
Where do you think the story is headed at this point? Any predictions?
Athena is going to get into even more trouble. Curtis will be there to help her. Avery will probably continue to suffer from her daughter's antics. Curtis is a former drug dealer or something shady and his past will probably come back to bite him.
What or who are you hoping gets elaborated upon the most in the next chapters?
I would love to see some more Curtis. Also more about the Aelrendths - who are they? Where they come from? How are they connected to Grim? What powers they have? How they got those powers? And is there really more than 1 Grim? (I have multiple Grims in my Darkness May Dream story; they're actually an entire race. I'm curious if this is similar or different).
I've always visualized B2W to be a thriller. Do the 'thriller' scenes work for you? If no, why?
Absolutely. I think you do a great job of interspersing the images with the text and heightening the thrill or the intensity through the images.
Your feedback will help tremendously as I organise Season 2 of B2W. Which parts do you like? What areas should I focus/improve on? What other advice do you have? Do you have questions for me?
I'm really not that far into the story so… I'm not sure what advice I can give you yet. Love the bite-sized chapters. It makes it easy to read. Love how you intersperse images.
Sometimes the dialogue reads oddly like Athena's long chewing-out of Curtis in one breath. I think I sometimes have this problem too. It helps to read me to read dialogue aloud when editing to make it sound more natural. Sometimes I add pauses in the text/dialogue with ellipsis (…) or breaking up with "said so-and-so" with some action.
I am a little confused about the worldbuilding and perhaps this will be explained in later chapters. Athena and Avery are witches? Enchanters? And Avery came from another world? Is she an Aelrendth? What are/who are the Aelrendth? Am I saying it right - is Aelrendth plural or singular? Are the Aelrendth a race of witches or something else?
I'd love to see more lore, whether you include this in the chapters or you write something separate in author notes like I do or create a separate page or something. I would love to know more about the world. You stated somewhere that the average citizen doesn't "believe" in magic so what is the world's relationship to supernaturals? Are there other supernaturals that aren't witches/enchanters/Grim?
Why don't people believe in magic? That sounds like a stupid question now that I've typed it, but I'm curious. In my Sims world, people know certain supernaturals exist, and other supernaturals are a complete mystery or unknown. The average person bops through life without thinking about it, unless it affects them directly. Supernaturals' powers, if you will, are kept in check by their own kind, and the Sim (human) government (mundanes) regulate certain supernatural activities for the protection of the greater public. There is racial prejudice that runs deep, but again, this isn't blatantly open in society. Certain supernaturals are more affected by prejudice and hatred than others.
Feel free to not answer certain questions if the answers would be spoilers.
Writing Style
How would you describe the writing style(s)? Does it work for the story?
I'm not sure the exact word I'd use to describe the style. It varies and changes a bit between chapters, and I think that's okay. It's nice to see a writer experimenting with different styles. I try this too from time to time.
What do you think about the story's pacing? Any 'lags' or parts that were too fast?
I don't think so. Pacing seems fine. Other than I'd like to hurry up and know more. So I'll keep reading.
What do you think about the amount of narration and description?
Sometimes the text is a little too sparse. I feel like the first time I really got to know Athena (and actually like/identify with her character) was early in the journal chapter and later when she and Curtis are in the park together.
I rely on pictures to speak for themselves sometimes. Have you come across any parts like that? Does this style work for you?
I think it's awesome when pictures can tell the story. A picture is worth a thousand words. It makes great use of the Sims game as a platform to tell the story. In my own writing, I rely heavily on words and less on pictures for better or worse. I think it's nice to describe what's happening in the scenes in case the pictures don't load or to add a little more context even if it's just a short sentence in between images.
What do you think of story flow? Any specific scenes to improve upon? (Confusing dialogue, scenes not elaborated)
Also Curtis is a bit too shrouded in mystery with little context. I'd love to see more of him in upcoming chapters. It just makes me all the more curious about him though so maybe it's not a bad thing. The slow reveal… as a writer, I love it! Reader? Not so much… but it keeps me engaged.
It would be nice to see more of his backstory, or a bit more elaboration on his connection to some of the other characters like Kian. He also seemed to know a bit much about the murdered guy. Oh and what happened to Grim? He was in the alley and then he was gone.
The jumping around is a little confusing like when you did the flashback to the brawl itself, but it was also well done. I know. I'm not making sense. :sweatsmile: I just meant it took me a minute to realize what you were doing, but once I did, I liked it.
I did wonder about Clarissa. Like who is she? Where did she come from? Did she just move to town and is she just a mean girl or is there more to it? Why did she start picking on Athena? Athena seemed to have friends before and then suddenly they didn't like her anymore. They were that influenced by Clarissa? And how did she suddenly end up at the same high school as Athena?
Athena keeps talking about how Clarissa bullies her and implies she "deserved" the beating, but we didn't really see anything happen between the girls as teens. I would sympathize with Athena more if I knew what exactly Clarissa does/did to her and how she speaks to her. Probably wouldn't excuse it, but it would help me understand. Right now Clarissa feels a bit two-dimensional, stereotypical mean girl.
Also how is Clarissa connected to the gang of boys (other than her boyfriend) that cornered Athena? Like how did she get mixed up with the likes of someone like Steve and his friends? I get why the "gang" of boys is there in the story, but the average kid doesn't just suddenly end up in a gang.
Have you noticed any obvious grammatical errors/ writing patterns that needs to be addressed? (English is my second language, this will help tremendously.
Not that I can recall. But I'll let you know if I notice something going forward. And don't feel bad. I catch grammatical errors in my stories every once in awhile. Even native English speakers don't always get things right.
Chapter 1-3: Opening
Did the Prologue and introduction to Athena interest you to read further? If it did, why? If it didn't, why?
The Prologue helped put the family and story into context. I always like a little background on my characters and their family. I loved the diary entries of Athena. I thought she was a sweet, if not, a little misunderstood kid. Her dad's death genuinely affected her, and the gradual build up to the bullying was masterful. I remember wanting to know what would happen to Athena, and if she would get justice, or if she would try and repair a relationship with Clarissa or at least her (former) friends.
What do you think of Athena and Curtis’s first interaction after the brawl, then the park scene? How would you describe their relationship at this point?
It was almost like a meet-cute, if not for the awfulness of the brawl before. I loved the park scene. It was probably my favorite chapter thus far as I felt like I could relate to both characters. I wanted to know more. I felt like we were getting to know them. They seem to have a friendship developing, and Curtis definitely is attracted to our girl, Athena. I would love to see it develop into more, and I have a feeling romance is coming, but then again, I'm worried for Athena and her current situation, and I don't know if I should quite trust Curtis fully yet.
What are your thoughts/impressions on Aelrendths?
I've asked a million and one questions above, so I'll leave it at that. For now, I'm confused, but intrigued.
What do you think of Athena? What about her was relatable? What wasn't? Is her character believable?
I want to like Athena. I really do. I struggle because she seems so hardened and angry about being bullied. She seems to use her father's death and the press's treatment of her family as an excuse to act out against her mom. I understand it, but I can't excuse it. I'd love more chapters like the park scene or perhaps interacting with/softening up to her family (and Aries… where is that kid?).
She keeps talking about Clarissa as this horrible person, but we have yet to see Clarissa really "on screen" or in a scene and I'd love to see that because I think it would help me understand the girl's relationship dynamic and what is truly so awful about Clarissa. I know sometimes kids bully just because, but usually they themselves have been bullied or are abused by parents or older siblings, or they are somehow encouraged to continue cruel behavior by an authority figure or witness said authority figure bullying others. I think it's believable that Athena slipped into a pattern of self-destructive behavior after losing her father, the badgering of the press, and her school bullies.
I feel pity for Athena, and I feel concern about her future. I also really want to know more about her connection to the Aelrendths and her mother's background. You hinted Avery came from "another world." If so, where? I think understanding the Aelrendths and Athena's powers will help me figure out her character more.
What do you think of Curtis? Did his choices and actions make sense to you? What are your predictions of him?
Maybe I'm in the minority here. I said above I'm not sure if I should fully trust Curtis. Is he using Athena for some reason? If so, what? Or is he an Aelrendth too? Or a protector of one? Did he just happen to be in the right place at the right time and like he appears in the text, was intrigued by Athena, concerned about the guys cornering/beating up a girl?
Where is his family? Did his parents die? Did he runaway? Is he in a gang of his own? You almost seemed to imply that in the text like when he told Steve and the gang to get out of his territory, but I could be wrong. How did he meet Kian?
I mentioned predictions above. I smell a troubled past, a desire for redemption, and budding romance with Athena but they're from opposite sides of the track. That could complicate and intensify things.
What do you think of Grim and Kian?
Grim is hilarious. I love him already. He implied there are other Grims, which has me intrigued. I loved his unusual way of speaking and how lighthearted he seemed about dark and "grim" things.
Kian is a bit shrouded in mystery for me too. Time will tell how I feel about his character. For now, I see him as a loyal and protective friend.
No worries. Thank you for your answers! I loved reading them and answering your questions.
I would love to see some more Curtis. Also more about the Aelrendths - who are they? Where they come from? How are they connected to Grim? What powers they have? How they got those powers? And is there really more than 1 Grim? (I have multiple Grims in my Darkness May Dream story; they're actually an entire race. I'm curious if this is similar or different).
Everyone on the banner will be featured more as the story goes As for the Aelrendths, they’ll be revealed as Athena finds out more about herself and her connection with them. Yeah Grim is an entire race of transcendant beings so there’s more than one.
Sometimes the dialogue reads oddly like Athena's long chewing-out of Curtis in one breath. I think I sometimes have this problem too. It helps to read me to read dialogue aloud when editing to make it sound more natural. Sometimes I add pauses in the text/dialogue with ellipsis (…) or breaking up with "said so-and-so" with some action.
I am a little confused about the worldbuilding and perhaps this will be explained in later chapters. Athena and Avery are witches? Enchanters? And Avery came from another world? Is she an Aelrendth? What are/who are the Aelrendth? Am I saying it right - is Aelrendth plural or singular? Are the Aelrendth a race of witches or something else?
Thanks for pointing it out. I’m not sure how to edit this part though. In my mind I pictured Athena going ham on Curtis without letting up or drawing breath (lol) so there’s no action here and it should comes across as one huge wall of text which is precisely how it’ll feel like to be in Curtis’s shoes. I’ll think about this more. Hopefully as I read more simlit I’ll get an idea how to improve this bit.
I’d love to answer this, but it’s a spoiler. The lore is revealed throughout the story as Athena finds out more about herself so I can’t reveal anything. I can safely say though that there are other supernatural races, but they are not featured in the story.
Also Curtis is a bit too shrouded in mystery with little context. I'd love to see more of him in upcoming chapters. It just makes me all the more curious about him though so maybe it's not a bad thing. The slow reveal… as a writer, I love it! Reader? Not so much… but it keeps me engaged.
Noted. I began the story from Athena’s pov so it’s hard to fit Curtis in at the beginning. But Chapters 4-5 gives a good amount of information about Curtis and Kian as well as everyone else on the banner.
what happened to Grim? He was in the alley and then he was gone.
Grim comes and goes in the story depending on when his services are needed. Hence he appears/reappears wherever.
The jumping around is a little confusing like when you did the flashback to the brawl itself, but it was also well done. I know. I'm not making sense. :sweatsmile: I just meant it took me a minute to realize what you were doing, but once I did, I liked it.
Ah okay. Gotcha. I didn’t want to write up a full on brawl. I’m glad this strategy worked!
I did wonder about Clarissa. Like who is she? Where did she come from? Did she just move to town and is she just a mean girl or is there more to it? Why did she start picking on Athena? Athena seemed to have friends before and then suddenly they didn't like her anymore. They were that influenced by Clarissa? And how did she suddenly end up at the same high school as Athena?
She keeps talking about Clarissa as this horrible person, but we have yet to see Clarissa really "on screen" or in a scene and I'd love to see that because I think it would help me understand the girl's relationship dynamic and what is truly so awful about Clarissa. I know sometimes kids bully just because, but usually they themselves have been bullied or are abused by parents or older siblings, or they are somehow encouraged to continue cruel behavior by an authority figure or witness said authority figure bullying others. I think it's believable that Athena slipped into a pattern of self-destructive behavior after losing her father, the badgering of the press, and her school bullies.
Clarissa doesn’t get a mention anymore because of the story direction. She’s Athena’s classmate who is jealous and spreads rumors of her. I actually have a chapter that showed how Athena was bullied by Clarissa but moderators checked my blog and flagged the entire scene too confrontational and M+ so I scraped the whole chapter. You’re right about the ‘2d stereotypical mean girl’ since I didn’t bother elaborating on Clarissa after that. The gang of boys(not really boys they’re adults with some late teens) gets airtime in Ch 4. I worked in a neighborhood where every kid by the age of 13 had gang connections and personally had/have immediate fam members with such connections. There’s no complicated reason to have one or not to have one, sometimes it happens naturally. In Clarissa’s case, Steve and her have a thing hence her connection.
It was almost like a meet-cute, if not for the awfulness of the brawl before. I loved the park scene. It was probably my favorite chapter thus far as I felt like I could relate to both characters. I wanted to know more. I felt like we were getting to know them. They seem to have a friendship developing, and Curtis definitely is attracted to our girl, Athena. I would love to see it develop into more, and I have a feeling romance is coming, but then again, I'm worried for Athena and her current situation, and I don't know if I should quite trust Curtis fully yet.
I had to look up what a meet-cute is and yeah I suppose I was going for that without realising what it is. I’m happy you managed to detect a hint of attraction and developing friendship because that's exactly what I was going for. I agree with you that I’d be concerned about who Curtis really is at this point.
What are your thoughts/impressions on Aelrendths?
I've asked a million and one questions above, so I'll leave it at that. For now, I'm confused, but intrigued.
I love your million and one questions. I’m so sorry I can’t answer them all now
What do you think of Athena? What about her was relatable? What wasn't? Is her character believable?
I want to like Athena. I really do. I struggle because she seems so hardened and angry about being bullied. She seems to use her father's death and the press's treatment of her family as an excuse to act out against her mom. I understand it, but I can't excuse it. I'd love more chapters like the park scene or perhaps interacting with/softening up to her family (and Aries… where is that kid?).
I think your description of Athena is spot on. She’s got a lot of issues and she’s unfairly taking them out on her mom. It’s okay to not like her (or any of the other characters you meet in the future). I wouldn’t like her either lol and I’m not as nice as Avery so I’d handle her outbursts very differently. Ares is in the first sub chapter of Ch4.
She keeps talking about Clarissa as this horrible person, but we have yet to see Clarissa really "on screen" or in a scene and I'd love to see that because I think it would help me understand the girl's relationship dynamic and what is truly so awful about Clarissa. I know sometimes kids bully just because, but usually they themselves have been bullied or are abused by parents or older siblings, or they are somehow encouraged to continue cruel behavior by an authority figure or witness said authority figure bullying others. I think it's believable that Athena slipped into a pattern of self-destructive behavior after losing her father, the badgering of the press, and her school bullies.
Yeah sorry about the missing info. I got pretty disheartened when the moderators said it was inappropriate so I deleted the whole chapter. Hopefully my answer above gave you some idea. If it doesn’t there’ll be plenty of other chapters that show what kind of person Athena is. I did have some backstory for Clarissa and what happened to her, but I cut everything and didn't develop that direction because if her first chapter was too confrontational, everything else would be flagged the same. I got over this in the later chapters with other situations but never revisited Clarissa.
Maybe I'm in the minority here. I said above I'm not sure if I should fully trust Curtis. Is he using Athena for some reason? If so, what? Or is he an Aelrendth too? Or a protector of one? Did he just happen to be in the right place at the right time and like he appears in the text, was intrigued by Athena, concerned about the guys cornering/beating up a girl?
Where is his family? Did his parents die? Did he runaway? Is he in a gang of his own? You almost seemed to imply that in the text like when he told Steve and the gang to get out of his territory, but I could be wrong. How did he meet Kian?
A huge part of B2W is Athena discovering herself through finding out more about the people around her. So I’m sorry! I can’t say anything about Curtis I can only assure you that Athena will find out more about him and of stuff she doesn’t want to know either. I designed my story in that the reader will experience the world through her perspective so you’ll find out the answer to every question you mentioned here, but through Athena’s eyes and her footsteps (with the occasional sprinkled chapters of other povs). It’ll be good to know at the end of the entire story if you like this style or will it alienate certain readers. It’s a bit too early in the story so I’ll reserve this question for later
1. Are Gabriel's feelings towards Todd relatable?
2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
1. Not for me, no. I've never felt that protective over someone who's doing bad things and I barely know them. I do have older siblings, but that's what they are to me. I don't have any friends who feel like siblings or anything. Believable? Sure. Relatable? No.
2. Girl is hiding something. Probably a big, sneaky brain. I'm impatiently waiting until she spills the beans. It seems like her shell is cracking.
3. I felt so bad for Harrison. I don't understand how no one told him about Matthieu's boyfriend. Such a horrible situation and honestly, I feel like Harrison should have given him more grief for it but I also understand that this is his first real love and he has no clue how to deal with these kind of feelings yet. I remember my first love and boy, that was messy. And the rotten things I forgave him for, I'd never forgive anyone anymore. It's a process of learning. I just hope it won't be too painful for Harrison.
4. I hated how Todd went about it, but I'm someone told Harrison the truth. Otherwise Harrison would have walked around not knowing anything for a longer amount of time and possibly fall deeper in love with someone who won't tell him the truth. I don't think Todd was an inherently bad person though. I think he made a mistake and I'm glad he realised that and will try to be better from now on. TV and fame changes people. Especially a competition like this one with so much money and fame as a prize will bring out the worst in people clawing their way to the top. Todd didn't need redeeming for me, but it is good to see he admitted his mistakes and tried to right his wrongs.
5. I loved the tonal shift. It's great to see some different writing from you. The main story is obviously mostly dialogue- (or monologue-) based, so it was nice to see some narrative from your side. You're a good writer and I think these side stories are nice change of pace. I have a question though. Are all these side stories about people who left the competition or are some of them about people in the house too? Because if it's just people who left, even seeing the title of the side story is super spoilery. This particular one was obviously already full of spoilers, considering the word 'homecoming'.
Thanks for the responses y'all! I've had a blast reading them. I'll type up some thoughts on them and the questions tonight.
Now that we'll have a week off, does anyone want to do the awards? I can do them if y'all want, but if one of you is up for it, that'd be cool too! Aside from the categories that @Duvelina mentioned earlier, are there any that you'd like to see?
@mercuryfoam thanks for what answers you could give me. I'm a little sad you weren't able to do a Clarissa chapter. Maybe there's a way to rewrite it or something... in the future... if you want. I don't mind darker content but I understand keeping things more PG or G for the sake of the forums.
Thanks for the responses y'all! I've had a blast reading them. I'll type up some thoughts on them and the questions tonight.
Now that we'll have a week off, does anyone want to do the awards? I can do them if y'all want, but if one of you is up for it, that'd be cool too! Aside from the categories that @Duvelina mentioned earlier, are there any that you'd like to see?
I've never done an awards ceremony before, so I think I'd rather sit the first one out and see how it's done!
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
so it's set! Y'all will become part of the K&GI canon as guest judges! I'm so excited about it! I'm currently writing the finale of Season 2, and there are no judges there per se, but I'm also moving on to Season 3 soon after and the first challenge is perfect for a panel of flawless judges like yourself, so keep an eye out for a K&GI mail in your inboxes when Season 3 is in full swing!
Oh this will be fun. Lizzie, my Simself, is a minor celebrity author in her legacy. I'm sure she will look forward to it.
@everyone love @Duvelina's suggestions for award categories. I wonder if we do this every 7 weeks if... we want to split up the awards and do a few each time if we want to have enough options each time.
@ajamkeevin the llama-freezer-bunny-plumbob award is cute. I like @Skeilah's award too.
The banner you made @ajamkeevin is amazing with all our protagonists.
And now I can't help but wonder what all of them would think of each other!
@_sims_Yimi Ooo... I like this. I'd load up my game and have Kass reply but it's a bit slower loading than Ts4 and she's the only character that isn't in TS4.
For now... I would say...
... Kass would care about Sofia and want to help her. She wants to help people in need and she cares deeply about her friends.
... Kass would bond with Liz over puppies and good eats!
...Kass, as a commoner, with some access to wealth and privilege a la grandparents, would probably not be able to get to know Morgana all that well, but might be able to buy and bluff her way into the inner circle... if she were so inclined... if she felt someone or something she cared about was in danger. I think the girls would get along if they weren't playing games. Morgana, I think, is far more cunning than Kass, but Kass and Morgana share the same insatiable curiosity and desire to protect those they care about and love at all costs.
... Kass might not get along with Athena, from what I've read, and both girls seem quick to snap in judgment, but they do share something (sort-of) in common. No spoilers here.
... Kyungri is a wild card. Kass does enjoy a good soap opera episode of Specific Hospital every one in awhile with her all time favorite actress Bella Goth. I could see her checking out Kev &Get It, probably with Ayesha. Not sure how she would feel about Kyungri specifically... maybe slightly annoyed by her cool attitude but also partially in awe of her fierce ambition.
That was fun to think through and share! Can't wait to see what we decide for awards.
@AdamsEve1231 Someone's favourite character, for example, can change within 7 weeks, the more they read. So I don't think we'd need to split the categories up. But that's just my two cents.
I'd gladly leave the first awards ceremony to you, @ajamkeevin. Being a reality show host I think you're a perfect pick for a first-time awards show presenter. Expanding your horizons and all.
1. Are you upset that anyone left? Would you like to see anyone come back?
2. Do you have any predictions?
3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
1. I'm not upset that anyone left, although I'd like to see China come back. I thought she had some very witty moments on the show and she was one of my favourites, so I'd like to see her again.
2. With people being able to vote (and my votes radically differing from what other people seem to like), I find it hard to predict anything in terms of who's going to leave and who's going to stay. My one prediction is that Marjan will crack and turn out to be a petty evil mastermind.
3. I love Enca, so I'd like to ask her some questions:
- How did you and Patricio get together?
- What are your future plans? Any new albums on the horizon?
- What are you going to do with the prize money if(/when) you win?
- If you couldn't be a singer, what occupation would you have?
- Do you have any other hobbies besides shaking your peach and singing your little heart out?
Comments
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
1. No, I don't think so. She might think so but I think she needs to be a lot sneakier and sweeter about it if she wants to actually sway people. At this point she gets nominated by basically everyone, so she's not quite the great mastermind she thinks she is.
2. Yes! The dance challenge was my favourite because I could look at the pictures and listen to music alongside it. I felt like the photoshoot challenge started to drag because everyone needed to be judged individually and it seemed to take forever, honestly. But this one was much more to my liking.
3. Meh. I don't have big opinions on the guest judges. They seemed over-the-top and extra, just like the format. They fit with the program.
4. Interesting for sure. You do a great job at throwing new stories into the mix. The story never gets boring to read and I'm always interested in reading more. Believability is hard for me with reality shows. I always feel like people are magnifying their personalities or faking/acting, so people in reality shows are more like characters than real people to me. Having said that, it's good how you manage to weave that into your own story with Marjan for example. She is definitely not what she seems.
5. No, actually. I'm starting to like Enca more with every episode. I hope she lasts. She seems to become more grounded in reality and less diva.
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
My thoughts:
Technical Questions
2. Oh yeah, I think you'll notice as you go along that I upped the quality of the game itself so the edges look less crunchy in the later episodes. Good to hear that the quality of the files themselves isn't an issue for you, that makes me relieved.
3. Yes, we've discussed this before, and I'm really glad you like this new way of publishing the story. I appreciate that you like to make your comments more thoughtful and less generic, that's really awesome not only for me but for every story you read.
4. Noted.
General Questions
2. Sitting on the couch eating popcorn, yes! That's the feeling I was going for (or, in Kyungri's case, sitting on the chaise lounge drinking champagne, haha). Thank you! I'm happy you appreciate the breaking of the fourth wall, that was important to my story when writing it.
3. Thank you! Since I like to think of my story as a character drama in disguise, I'm relieved that you think that the characters are well-established and shine through (even though there are tons of them!).
4. Ahhhh, thank you! Yeah, I did languages and writing, but I've done some work in design (done some freelance work)/I have a huge hobby of editing images and making visual art. Thank you so much!
5. Perfect. ~~
6. That is something that will definitely happen as the characters get eliminated, and hopefully their stories will shine even more! I'm happy you like the story so far.
Character Questions
2. I'm glad you can picture them in real life. That's something that I wanted to put forth, the sort of "yeah, I know this person", so knowing that they succeed in that makes me happy.
3. I think all your one-word impressions are spot on! Honestly I could see myself choosing those for each of them, awesome.
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
My thoughts:
Episodes 3-4
2. Awesome! I'm happy you liked that, I haven't gotten much feedback about that challenge specifically so I'm happy to hear that it works for you. Now, about the photoshoot challenge, I tend to agree about the fact that it drags on. I feel awkward about it going on and on with the critiques, since I try to not let those "ajmkv is speaking but the story is not quite advancing yadda yadda shut up ajmkv" moments happen toooo much. Do you have any advice about how to frame those instances so that they don't drag along? Like, where critiques could and should be included for individual contestants.
3. Yeah, they're not the stars, just there to complement the story. If it was always only me (in-character) judging, I think it would be boring to even have any judging sections at all.
4. Yes, thank you! Having the over-the-top nature of reality shows mixed in with more sensitive (if you can call them that) emotions is a fine line to walk for me, so I like being able to weave more "human" feelings in at moments, and also when I have bonus episodes (which you'll get a taste of at the end of this arc!).
5. Oh, yay! That's really nice to read. I wanted Enca to be the ultimate competitor when I selected her for the season, and then a mix of the Sims autonomy and the challenges where I just couldn't quite put forth her starpower made it so that she just kind of flopped. I'm happy I was able to make her interesting regardless. (Actually, I think the fact that she is vulnerable and not infallible as a hugely successful celebrity is what makes her more relatable and interesting to follow than if she was just flawless and perfect and nothing else.)
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
My thoughts:
Episode Specific Questions
1-2
2. Awww, thank you! Yes, I appear physically a little bit more towards the end of the season where you are, but I like adding a little personality to myself even when I'm just "a voice" so that my narration seems a little more relatable, haha. And darn it! I hadn't thought of my hair as an ice-cream swirl, and now I'm craving chocolate soft serve on this summer day. Yimiiiiiii y u do dis
3. lol, poor Mitchell. I also had the impression he'd go home first so I was also surprised when he didn't.
4. Matthison♥ Oh Matthison. Complicated beginning aside, I really do think they grow to be a strong couple, especially later in the story. I'm happy you think they're adorable! And Patty Cake and Goddess Enca... I mean, gosh. If I was Patricio, I wouldn't even consider letting my eyes wander. Sigh. BUT, to be fair... Enca loves him and this becomes a plot point later, as you know
5. And well, more Patricio, but yes, CIAO buddy. (I actually cackled because wittingly or unwittingly you just quoted the title of one of Enca's songs, and just, yaasssssssss.) ALSO - Patricio is one of the characters I've extensively written about on my wiki and the fact that HE'S the one that spent a lot of time in my real-life hometown is just... sigh. Haha. But I do have a soft spot for him and he does express regret about his lustin' ways later on, as you've read, so maybe he's not all bad.
3-4
2. Thank you so much! I'm happy the visuals are pleasing, I put a lot of time into them! I hope the quality continues as you read along into the last parts.
3. Excellent! The guest judges are just that, guests, but I like that they add a little flavor to the judging portions of the show. And yes, Jdbw is my good friend and he might end up being a more permanent part of the show if/when I make a Season 3!
4. Good. It's fun to write the situations as super over-the-top but I also want them to be believable in a way that makes the story interesting, so it's nice that this is the case.
5. I think everyone was disappointed that China was a victim of Enca's rabid fan base, and I think that China would have lasted a looooot longer if she hadn't been eliminated for a mediocre week in favor of Enca... but hey, that's the way the peach is sliced. ehehe
5
2. I'll give you a tidbit of behind-the-scenes info: Marjan was fully a filler character for me for a while, I thought there was no way she'd even reach Top 10. When she continued I really wanted her to be more interesting than she presented, so that's why she's come such a long way. But yeah, at this point she's just silly and there's not much to her character. But as you've seen, there's a shift around Episode 6 from a Matthison-heavy plot to a more "🐸🐸🐸🐸 is happening to Marjan??"-oriented plot.
3. Todd... oh Todd. He managed to make more of a mess than Charlee ever did (and she was rightfully angry about it), and somehow was more hated. Just goes to show, being nice can be more of a benefit on K&GI than being evil and catty! Or at least be shady but nice, like Kyungri♥
4. Hope you like Todd's bonus episode! I recently went back and read it and I love how it holds up against the main story.
5. Thank you so much! You're right, constantly focusing on silly drama and cutthroat competition would get tiring after a while, so it's nice to punctuate it with more relatable mini-stories as a sort of break. Plus, I get to write in a different style and that's always fun! I'm happy you enjoy them, and I hope you like the next ones you read! Also, I am left craving an ice cream sundae with sprinkles unghhh I want!
Arc 1 general questions
2. Keep those lips sealed!
3. YAAAAY, I'll answer the questions in another post. You best be ready for these answers.~
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
Technical Questions
I already told you how much I love your blog but I’ll just say it again: I love your blog!
2. I went back and replaced all the images in each episode with ones that are much smaller in file size to make the pages load faster. Is this working well for you?
I read your story for the first time this week so this is the only way I’ve known your photo’s xD Everything loads fast so that’s all okay.
3. The Episodes used to be one big chunk, with Eliminations separate. They're now 2 - 6 parts to make the reading easier, what do you think of this choice?
Yeah, I like that there are parts. If everything was still in one big chunk like you call it, I don’t know how motivated I would be to read everything through because long texts make me scared xD But then again, it’s a good story so maybe I won’t have that problem xD
4. Do you want more notes? I include a few here and there, but probably 0 after this first chunk of episodes.
For me it’s all perfect the way it is now. No need to change things. If some things are not clear, I’ll just ask it :P
General Questions
“Oeeeehhhh, reality showww!!!”. I’ve never read a Sims reality show so I was really exited for this because it’s something different from what I’m used to.
2. Obviously I want to make this seem like you're watching a tv show/reading a script instead of simply narrating, do you get this impression? Do I capture the spirit of a reality show?
Absolutely. You won the first prize for getting it exactly right.
3. Do you like my style of writing?
A lot! Don’t change anything.
4. What do you think of my images? I spend a lot of time creating a unified "look" for the seasons, with the promo images, the cast pictures, the icons, the confessionals, the fadeout gifs at the end of each episode, etc, so I'd love to know if you like them!
I can see how much time you spend in your pictures. They are absolutely amazing!
5. Speaking of confessionals, do you like this aspect of the story? Reality shows tend to have these confessional/talking heads moments so I wanted to include them to advance the story.
Yeah! I watch some things on tv where they have confessional/talking moments and I like those moments.
6. Do you like the story so far? It gets more intense and the characters that last longer get more developed as time goes on, but what do you think of the story at this point?
I like it very much and I’m curious to read the rest when I have some time to do again.
Character Questions
Harrison for sure. Mygod that guy is an absolute cutie. He just had me from the first second I saw him.
My least favorite is probably Charlee or Marjan for the girls and Todd for the boys. I just want to kick Charlee under her behind for what she’s been doing in this game, ugh I just don’t like her, and Marjan is the typical ‘dumb blondie’ from the Netherlands xD I’m constantly like ‘come on, Marjan, just think!’.
Yeah, Todd… I did like his Kev&Get it More episode but you know, he just ruined everything by hurting my cutie Harrison (I claimed him, I don’t care that he’s into boys, I just claimed him).
2. Do the characters seem realistic for the most part? They're exaggerated because characters tend to be in reality shows, but do you see glimpses of realistic emotions in them?
Yeah, for a reality show like this, they seem really realistic. If I watch reality shows on tv, it’s always like this xD so I didn’t expect less.
3. If you could describe each character in one word, what would it be?
Charlee: Manipulative
China: Easygoing
Enca: Spoiled
Enzo: Silent
Gabriel: Bossy
Harrison: SUPERADORABLE?!!! / Introvert
Jessie: Friendly
Kyungri: Plastic (but behind all the plastic: real)
Louise: Fair
Marjan: Dumb
Matthieu: Sneaky (but also cute)
Mitchell: Shy
Patricio: Arrogant
Todd: Meddlesome
Episode Specific Questions
Episodes 1 - 2
I always have difficulties with new characters in the beginning, so I was just like ‘well, I’m going to read and at some point I’ll know them’ and that’s exactly what happened. I scrolled through the character page but I couldn’t really make something of that :P I also didn’t pay the best attention to everyone when they all walked in the mansion, I just got to know them veryyyyy slowlyyyyy. What I do remember is Enca and Patricio if I’m right? All being romantic and stuff xD It felt very… Reality-showy :P Yeah, I liked every bit of it, although I was still struggling getting to know everyone.
2. What do you think of ajmkv/me? (Rip into me if you must!)
You’re almost as cute as Harrison. xD Did the contestants try to be romantic with you? Plottwist much.
You’re also a really great presenter (is that the right word? I’m typing this in the train with no internet so I can’t check xD). I have absolutely nothing bad to say about you.
How did you come to your name, ajmkv? Just being curious here.
3. Did you have any strong impressions of anyone? Any "oh, they're going home first" feelings?
When Enca got to the bottom three for the third time I was like “Now they won’t save her a third time, right?” but then I was wrong. xD When Todd ruined everything, yeah that was very obvious. If Harisson would have left that episode, I would throw Todd out of the window (I would be super mad). Oh yeah, that Patricio-guy also had ‘goodbye’ feelings, but he’s already gone so that’s good :P
4. What do you think of the most relevant plot threads at this point? (Matthieu and Harrison's romance, Enca and Patricio, etc.)
MATTHIEU AND HARRISONNNNNNN
I didn’t have that with Enca and Patricio but that’s just because they didn’t leave that much of an impression on me. Like Patricio went out first and Enca is just coming on my good side :P
5. Were you sad to see Patricio go?
Nope, byeeeee. xD
Episodes 3 - 4
No, I hate Charlee for her actions. She needs to turn around reaaaaaalll fast or I’m going to do the same window throwing with her like I wanted to throw Todd.
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
Oh man, that dance challenge was bomb and thanks to you, that chocolata song is now in my Spotify playlist. xD
Overall I like every challenge. I’m a bit curious of how you get all these points, because you’re a judge yourself but you also made the whole story, so how do you do that, fair and square?
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
The Flavor Girls were a LIIIITLE weird, but they were okay xD I did like your real life friend! Say hi to him from me! (He’ll be like ‘who’s thattttttt’ but idc)
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
Typical reality show once again. Ahhhh, the drama. I loved it.
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
At first, yes. But I also think that it’s helping her to come to senses and I hope I’ll like her more because of that.
Episodes 5 and K&GM: Todd's Homecoming
Uuuhhhh. I think I need to reread this chapter. I don’t have much with Gabriel and I started hating Todd in this chapter so I just kinda ignored him xD
2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
She’s still dumb like the dumb blondies in the Netherlands xD (sorry to all the Dutchies in this group, I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just like you guys all have dumb Belgian jokes xD)
3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
OF COURSE I FELT BAD FOR HARRISON. I wanted to jump in the game myself and comfort him. Luckily some other contestants did that for me.
4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
Yeah it did, but I still dislike him. I do hope that he has a beautiful life with his boyfriend! His boyfriend is a good one. A reaaaallll good one.
5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
Did you try a different style of writing? I didn’t even notice that hahahahahaahahahah. I was just so in the story
Arc 1 General Questions
Nah, as long as Harrison stays, I’m fine. I’m really going to cry if he goes xD
2. Do you have any predictions?
It’s a reality show. Can you actually have predictions of any kind in these shows? I hope Marjan get less dumb, that Harrison and Matthieu will be happy forever and that Charlee gets a kick in her behind.
3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
You can try to do this with the things I’m curious about? :P
Kyungri: I am blessed, of course. When I was told I have been summoned from the K&GI basement to come and answer to a dear fan's question, I was thrilled! And not surprised, of course. Who could resist me, Unnie Supreme?
Producer: Um, let's forget the part about the basement. Anyway, our beloved watcher @_sims_Yimi has this to say to you! "Kyungri, you know I’m a fan – you grew on me over the story to the point where you’re now one of my favourites. This one is super personal, so it’s fine if you don’t want to answer, but did you turn to plastic because you didn’t like how you looked beforehand?" Do you have any thoughts?
Kyungri: Ah, yes. *Looks into the distance* I have to say, this is a very intrusive question. But I am so gracious, I will bless you with a response.
Producer: How generous of you...
Kyungri: I know darling. But yes. My old face was not as beautiful as I wanted it to be, and so I decided to work on it. Not to mention that, in order to help my family come out on top, I had a career in... let's just say, something a little unsavory. I needed to avoid being recognized after I left that job. So, my past combined with my not-so flawless face made me decide to utilize my face as a canvas for absolute, plastic beauty. I met Dr. Kim... at my job... and the rest is history! This stunning visage you see now is a culmination of many years of hard work.
Producer: And what was that job, Kyungri?
Kyungri: That's quite enough, darling. Time for me to go, may Shaman Unnie bless all you fans with all the money in the world! Well, not quite all the money, the majority is going to me, but, you know. A nice portion.
Producer: O...K. Um, let's move on to Enca! Peachy Queen, how are you doing?
Enca: *speaking to a person off camera* ...Actually coming in here to do these confessionals again? I thought the season had been wrapped, honey, they made me come out of the hot tub and get dressed and everything—
Producer: AHEM.
Enca: Oh! Sorry! I mean.... hi everyone! Goddess Enca here to bless you all, feeling peachy, looking gorgeous, love all on my body!
Producer: Thanks, Enca... anyway, our wonderful reader @_sims_Yimi has a special message and question for you: "Enca, darling. Honey. Marvel of nature. You can have any man you want. Probably a good number of women, too. Why in the name of all things gnome are you with Patricio?" Any thoughts?
Enca: Marvel of nature? I like that! Quite accurate too, thank you dear fan! I have to say, it's lovely to hear that I could have anyone. I mean, it's true of course, but sometimes even a goddess like me must remind herself of this.
Producer: So why Patricio?
Enca: Listen. Patricio and I have a long history. We met during one of my concerts in his country, he's a famous influencer there, and I just couldn't resist him! What you guys don't see on Kev & Get It is that he's very sweet and smart at home, but he puts on this facade when he's out in public... it's one I don't particularly like, but hey, that's show business. We've had some ups and downs and everything... *talking to producer* do I have to avoid spoilers?... I do?... OK... *talking at the camera again* let's just say he's gotten better at controlling himself. I love him, and I can't really explain why...
Producer: But do you think it will last?
Enca: We may or may not last... we're both young! First loves tend to be messy, no? But I do love him and I hope you can see another side of him. Heaven knows I've told him he needs to lighten up and focus, but... *sighs* anyway, I must go! I'm expected back on the set of my new music video. Love you all, my little kiwis! *Flounces off*
Producer: Quite... lovely! Yes! Um, but we have another question, for our dear ajmkv himself! Let's go over to him.~
ajmkv: Hi Freezer Bunnies! I'm so pleased to be here with you, this week and always! When I heard y'all had questions, I just had to run over, screeching like a banshee, all excited to see what you've written about K&GI. It's been a wonderful week!
Producer: Lovely to hear about your enthusiasm, ajmkv! We have a question from an iconic fan, @_sims_Yimi —
ajmkv: YIMI! Iconic doesn't even begin to describe her.♥
Producer: *Mumbling* Another interruption and I'll pop... *speaks louder* Yes, indeed! Anyway, she asks: "Ajmkv, hi =D Has anyone told you that you’re adorable?"
ajmkv: *squeals excitedly for five minutes while the producers roll their eyes* THANK YOU YIMI dsjsfhjdsh you're the best♥
***
Ehehe, I loved doing these! I'm looking forward to doing more, hope you like them. And @Skeilah eek, thank you for your answers! I'll get to them soon.
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
Very entertaining, Jammy!
Finally getting around to answering questions. Apologies for the delay.
General Impressions
Overall what do you think of the story?
It's exciting. There's a lot going on and to absorb. Sometimes I get a little confused but usually reading the next chapter or two helps. There's a good bit of darkness lurking beneath the surface and I like it. The bubbling intrigue keeps me engaged, and curious to see what happens next.
Where do you think the story is headed at this point? Any predictions?
Athena is going to get into even more trouble. Curtis will be there to help her. Avery will probably continue to suffer from her daughter's antics. Curtis is a former drug dealer or something shady and his past will probably come back to bite him.
What or who are you hoping gets elaborated upon the most in the next chapters?
I would love to see some more Curtis.
I've always visualized B2W to be a thriller. Do the 'thriller' scenes work for you? If no, why?
Absolutely. I think you do a great job of interspersing the images with the text and heightening the thrill or the intensity through the images.
Your feedback will help tremendously as I organise Season 2 of B2W. Which parts do you like? What areas should I focus/improve on? What other advice do you have? Do you have questions for me?
I'm really not that far into the story so… I'm not sure what advice I can give you yet. Love the bite-sized chapters. It makes it easy to read. Love how you intersperse images.
Sometimes the dialogue reads oddly like Athena's long chewing-out of Curtis in one breath. I think I sometimes have this problem too.
I am a little confused about the worldbuilding and perhaps this will be explained in later chapters. Athena and Avery are witches? Enchanters? And Avery came from another world? Is she an Aelrendth? What are/who are the Aelrendth? Am I saying it right - is Aelrendth plural or singular? Are the Aelrendth a race of witches or something else?
I'd love to see more lore, whether you include this in the chapters or you write something separate in author notes like I do or create a separate page or something. I would love to know more about the world. You stated somewhere that the average citizen doesn't "believe" in magic so what is the world's relationship to supernaturals? Are there other supernaturals that aren't witches/enchanters/Grim?
Why don't people believe in magic? That sounds like a stupid question now that I've typed it, but I'm curious. In my Sims world, people know certain supernaturals exist, and other supernaturals are a complete mystery or unknown. The average person bops through life without thinking about it, unless it affects them directly. Supernaturals' powers, if you will, are kept in check by their own kind, and the Sim (human) government (mundanes) regulate certain supernatural activities for the protection of the greater public. There is racial prejudice that runs deep, but again, this isn't blatantly open in society. Certain supernaturals are more affected by prejudice and hatred than others.
Feel free to not answer certain questions if the answers would be spoilers.
Writing Style
I'm not sure the exact word I'd use to describe the style. It varies and changes a bit between chapters, and I think that's okay. It's nice to see a writer experimenting with different styles. I try this too from time to time.
What do you think about the story's pacing? Any 'lags' or parts that were too fast?
I don't think so. Pacing seems fine. Other than I'd like to hurry up and know more.
What do you think about the amount of narration and description?
Sometimes the text is a little too sparse. I feel like the first time I really got to know Athena (and actually like/identify with her character) was early in the journal chapter and later when she and Curtis are in the park together.
I rely on pictures to speak for themselves sometimes. Have you come across any parts like that? Does this style work for you?
I think it's awesome when pictures can tell the story. A picture is worth a thousand words. It makes great use of the Sims game as a platform to tell the story. In my own writing, I rely heavily on words and less on pictures for better or worse. I think it's nice to describe what's happening in the scenes in case the pictures don't load or to add a little more context even if it's just a short sentence in between images.
What do you think of story flow? Any specific scenes to improve upon? (Confusing dialogue, scenes not elaborated)
Also Curtis is a bit too shrouded in mystery with little context. I'd love to see more of him in upcoming chapters. It just makes me all the more curious about him though so maybe it's not a bad thing. The slow reveal… as a writer, I love it! Reader?
It would be nice to see more of his backstory, or a bit more elaboration on his connection to some of the other characters like Kian. He also seemed to know a bit much about the murdered guy. Oh and what happened to Grim? He was in the alley and then he was gone.
The jumping around is a little confusing like when you did the flashback to the brawl itself, but it was also well done. I know. I'm not making sense. :sweatsmile: I just meant it took me a minute to realize what you were doing, but once I did, I liked it.
I did wonder about Clarissa. Like who is she? Where did she come from? Did she just move to town and is she just a mean girl or is there more to it? Why did she start picking on Athena? Athena seemed to have friends before and then suddenly they didn't like her anymore. They were that influenced by Clarissa? And how did she suddenly end up at the same high school as Athena?
Athena keeps talking about how Clarissa bullies her and implies she "deserved" the beating, but we didn't really see anything happen between the girls as teens. I would sympathize with Athena more if I knew what exactly Clarissa does/did to her and how she speaks to her. Probably wouldn't excuse it, but it would help me understand. Right now Clarissa feels a bit two-dimensional, stereotypical mean girl.
Also how is Clarissa connected to the gang of boys (other than her boyfriend) that cornered Athena? Like how did she get mixed up with the likes of someone like Steve and his friends? I get why the "gang" of boys is there in the story, but the average kid doesn't just suddenly end up in a gang.
Have you noticed any obvious grammatical errors/ writing patterns that needs to be addressed? (English is my second language, this will help tremendously.
Not that I can recall. But I'll let you know if I notice something going forward. And don't feel bad. I catch grammatical errors in my stories every once in awhile. Even native English speakers don't always get things right.
The Prologue helped put the family and story into context. I always like a little background on my characters and their family. I loved the diary entries of Athena. I thought she was a sweet, if not, a little misunderstood kid. Her dad's death genuinely affected her, and the gradual build up to the bullying was masterful. I remember wanting to know what would happen to Athena, and if she would get justice, or if she would try and repair a relationship with Clarissa or at least her (former) friends.
What do you think of Athena and Curtis’s first interaction after the brawl, then the park scene? How would you describe their relationship at this point?
It was almost like a meet-cute, if not for the awfulness of the brawl before. I loved the park scene. It was probably my favorite chapter thus far as I felt like I could relate to both characters. I wanted to know more. I felt like we were getting to know them. They seem to have a friendship developing, and Curtis definitely is attracted to our girl, Athena. I would love to see it develop into more, and I have a feeling romance is coming, but then again, I'm worried for Athena and her current situation, and I don't know if I should quite trust Curtis fully yet.
What are your thoughts/impressions on Aelrendths?
I've asked a million and one questions above, so I'll leave it at that. For now, I'm confused, but intrigued.
What do you think of Athena? What about her was relatable? What wasn't? Is her character believable?
I want to like Athena. I really do. I struggle because she seems so hardened and angry about being bullied. She seems to use her father's death and the press's treatment of her family as an excuse to act out against her mom. I understand it, but I can't excuse it. I'd love more chapters like the park scene or perhaps interacting with/softening up to her family (and Aries… where is that kid?).
She keeps talking about Clarissa as this horrible person, but we have yet to see Clarissa really "on screen" or in a scene and I'd love to see that because I think it would help me understand the girl's relationship dynamic and what is truly so awful about Clarissa. I know sometimes kids bully just because, but usually they themselves have been bullied or are abused by parents or older siblings, or they are somehow encouraged to continue cruel behavior by an authority figure or witness said authority figure bullying others. I think it's believable that Athena slipped into a pattern of self-destructive behavior after losing her father, the badgering of the press, and her school bullies.
I feel pity for Athena, and I feel concern about her future. I also really want to know more about her connection to the Aelrendths and her mother's background. You hinted Avery came from "another world." If so, where? I think understanding the Aelrendths and Athena's powers will help me figure out her character more.
What do you think of Curtis? Did his choices and actions make sense to you? What are your predictions of him?
Maybe I'm in the minority here. I said above I'm not sure if I should fully trust Curtis. Is he using Athena for some reason? If so, what? Or is he an Aelrendth too? Or a protector of one? Did he just happen to be in the right place at the right time and like he appears in the text, was intrigued by Athena, concerned about the guys cornering/beating up a girl?
Where is his family? Did his parents die? Did he runaway? Is he in a gang of his own? You almost seemed to imply that in the text like when he told Steve and the gang to get out of his territory, but I could be wrong. How did he meet Kian?
I mentioned predictions above. I smell a troubled past, a desire for redemption, and budding romance with Athena but they're from opposite sides of the track. That could complicate and intensify things.
What do you think of Grim and Kian?
Grim is hilarious. I love him already. He implied there are other Grims, which has me intrigued. I loved his unusual way of speaking and how lighthearted he seemed about dark and "grim" things.
Kian is a bit shrouded in mystery for me too. Time will tell how I feel about his character. For now, I see him as a loyal and protective friend.
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
General Questions
1. All my Sims stories take place in the future (with an alternative history on Earth) on another planet (Simterra). What do you think of the worldbuilding? Does everything make sense? What additional questions do you have about the world building?
Thank you so much.
I'm working on blog pages for KCLKF since that's the main story blog with worldbuilding details - at least maps, some history, cultures, and languages and stuff. So far, I have Maps up. And it's a long way to go… but it's coming.
I do have another blog for Simterra stuff, but the longer I work there, the more I'm thinking a Wiki would make a lot more sense. Thanks for your PM reply about the Wiki stuff. I hope to reply to that soon too.
2. I put little Author's Notes at the bottom of every chapter. Are they useful? Do you like them? Do they help clarify things from the chapter? I'm glad the author notes don't break immersion. I think someone suggested links to additional content if people are interested, which is where a Wiki would come in handy, but… in the meantime, I'll keep using author's notes.
3.The chapters are broken into arcs. Is this helpful? Do you find the breaks natural? (sometimes I use cliffhangers)
Thank you. I'm glad you feel motivated to read.
Since I'm planning on writing multiple stories with Kass, these chapters were all labeled 1 point something. Story two will be 2 point something. I tried to break up the chapters into "mini arcs," but I think the "Arc" part is confusing to some folks. I might stick to Parts in the future, but I have several chapters with multi-parters and I use "part" there already. Not sure what I'll do going forward. I'm still thinking about how to appropriately name sections.
4. What is your initial impression of Kass, my main character/the protagonist? I feel like people either love or dislike Kass. The first time I wrote this story I didn't go into as much depth about her thoughts, emotions, background, motivations, etc. and that made her less relatable. This time around I feel confident with how I've written her character. She's flawed and she's far from perfect, but I think she's relatable and sympathetic. I'm glad you are rooting for her.
5. The first part of the story is most definitely slice-of-life with some elements of supernatural/fantasy and mystery thrown in. Do you like it? How is it similar or different to other slice-of-life stories you've read?
6. Any thoughts on my writing style? The length of chapters? The pacing?
Thank you so much. Your words are too kind. I really hoped to create a fully immersive experience where you can feel like you're there at times. I know it's not everyone's thing or style, but it works for me. I personally like feeling immersed in a story and world because it helps me connect with the characters and adds to the realism.
Arc Specific Questions:
Arc 1:
The Prologue was a single chapter without as rich detail. Thank you so much for your kind words. I can't thank you enough. These really made my day!
Arc 2
I based the sibling interactions on my own experiences with my sisters.
Arc 3
The fake accent thing... haha. Perhaps I should've abandoned that little detail because it was confusing. I do explain later, but I'm not sure it's entirely satisfactory.
b) Andi and Kass discuss faith. What are your thoughts about my take on the Jacoban/Peteran faith from Sims Medieval?
I actually take a few pages from my favorite sci-fi shows, Babylon 5 and Firefly. Both shows treat religion with respect and allow it to move in the background, influence and shape characters to a certain extent, while others are unaffected by it. It's subtle and there, but it's not over-powering nor is it ignored. That's my goal, and occasionally sharing some of my own experiences.
c) Andi and Kass also discuss dating and Kass proceeds to think about her love life. Did it feel realistic?
I had fun with the reminiscing. It was a trip down memory lane for me.
d) Also, this arc introduces one of the many mysteries in this story. How do you think I handled its introduction? Kass just so happened to ... fall into it!
Arc 4
I wanted Davis to feel realistic. I still have fond memories of their original meeting in the coffee shop. I enjoy switching perspectives every once in awhile to deepen the story so I'm glad you enjoyed his side story.
Arc 5
EXCES. Yes.This is the moment my friend, Rip likes to say "and here's where the story becomes fantasy."
b) Amy struggles with depression. Did that show in the chapters?
c) Kass also exhibits signs of anxiety. Does that show in the chapters?
It's more prevalent later on, in addition to other struggles.
d) What do you think about Kass' job offer?
Very convenient indeed!
Arc 6
I'm so glad to see Ayesha getting some love.
b) What about the meetup with Davis? How do you feel about a relationship between Kass and Davis?
Kass is definitely less experienced, that's for sure. Another point for #teamdavis! Also... you'll find out what happens to their relationship. Gah! I want to say more, but spoilers!
c) What about when the girls went to the high school to "spy?"
Yes, no one seems to expect Kass to do something like this. I wanted to introduce her impulsiveness and compulsiveness to find the truth no matter the cost early on in the story, which is why I added this chapter. (It wasn't in the original). Yeah, it's not exactly the most ideal situation and it did cause a bit of alarm.
Arc 7
As you'll see, Gage's timing has never been a strong suit for him. It's also good to hear you liked her reaction. Some people hated it. I think it's appropriate too for her to take some time and think things through before making her decision. I was hoping my readers would see/feel that too. I love your analysis of the situation and I couldn't have said it better myself.
Other Questions
I am glad you like Kass. Not everyone does, and that's okay. I didn't want to write a Mary Sue, as you said. She is very loosely based on a younger version of me. I started writing her character/story as part of therapy and it blossomed into this huge thing. I have really enjoyed the journey to reconnecting with passions and interests from my younger days and working through difficulties and traumas through writing. Kass' story is very personal for me and I think that adds to the realism.
2. Do you have a favorite character so far? Do you have a least favorite character? Who do you want to know more about?
I love Ayesha too! And she offers great comedic relief. I can understand why people don't like Howard. His character develops over time so we'll see how you feel about him later. Hmm... you know I never really did address Kate again. She does make a few minor appearances. That's a regret from this arc, but I'll hopefully talk about her in future stories. She did pursue Howard a smidge too, but then again, she didn't know he was married at first.
3. Do you have a favorite scene/chapter thus far?
Arc 6 was a pleasure to write. And more points for #teamdavis!
4. Any future predictions based on where you are in the story?
Love your predictions. Can't wait to see what you think later in the story!
What questions do you have for me? Any other thoughts you'd like to share?
I don't. Haha.
Usually I binge write and then I have dry spells for days, sometimes weeks. I really just like to write when inspiration strikes. However, sometimes it's just getting over the hurdle of getting started. I spend a lot of time thinking about opening and closing lines of chapters and once I've got those, everything else just flows for me.
I tend to be pretty hard core and throw myself 110% into just about everything. A little like Kass.
In terms of professional and personal life, I try to set good boundaries. I always take a lunch break away from my desk and try to get out of the office (walk or drive to the park, even in winter) so I can eat and read. I also try and take some time on work breaks and in the evening to reply to comments and answer questions. Since COVID, I started working from home so I literally have breaks built into my day where I get up from my computer and walk away to do something else (i.e. spend time with husband/friends, cook dinner, watch a show, play with my cats) before returning later in the evening to write. I am most inspired to write at night. I have different browsers set up for Sims/writing and work stuff to keep things separate. I also remove all my work notes and work laptop from my desk when it's time to game/write Sims stuff.
Hope that answers your questions.
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Episode Specific Questions
Episodes 1 - 2
1.What do you think of the character introductions/entrances?
Just like a tv series I can imagine super hip music playing in the background as each character makes a dramatic entrance and display their personalities. I like how it started with Enca because she has such a diva personality and is a great first impression to Kev & Gev. I can’t imagine someone like Harrison being featured first for example. It just wouldn’t be the same. Btw what’s Kiwi in reference to? Enca says it alot.
2. What do you think of ajmkv/me? (Rip into me if you must!)
To be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to ajmkv.
3. Did you have any strong impressions of anyone? Any "oh, they're going home first" feelings?
Louise, China, Kyungri, Jessie, Mitchell, Enca, Patricio and Harrison stood out for me. By strong impressions I don’t mean that I like them all, I mean that I could identify/associate a strong trait to. I didn’t have a ‘who’s going home first’ feeling because I don’t watch reality tv shows. I used to watch America’s next top model and The biggest loser, but those were a long-long time ago. We’re talking decades. I’m happy to be pulled along the ride here.
4. What do you think of the most relevant plot threads at this point? (Matthieu and Harrison's romance, Enca and Patricio, etc.)
Knowing that Matthieu already has Maciej and is not distancing himself from Harrison made me lose respect for him completely. Just because Maciej cheated on him in the first season doesn’t mean Matthieu should stoop to his level. Because of that, their romance left a bad taste for me and I cannot ship him and Harrison together. My hope is that Harrison dumps his a*s in the upcoming episodes but I highly doubt it with his personality. Patricio is in the same boat as Matthieu for me. I’m glad he went home otherwise I’d have to tolerate two cheaters.
I personally like Enca. She seems perfectly nice, a bit on the jealous side because she likes a sleazebag like Patricio so he’s going to rile up her jealousy with his antics. If she were with a less frivolous man, I don’t think she’d be that jealous) Although she talks about her star power and 🐸🐸🐸🐸 a lot, she seems to me like a victim because people are constantly against her for no valid reason.
5. Were you sad to see Patricio go?
No. Good riddance.
Episodes 3 - 4
I’m surprised she got Todd on her side. And as I pointed out in the comments, I thought her choice of alliances are weird. She’d be better off making alliances through sincere (insincere) friendships and taking things slowly. To put it out there as straightforwardly and obviously communicates insincerity and using others. It’s no wonder Louise and Gabriel didn’t feel any of it. I wouldn’t too.
2. Did you like the challenges? (Photoshoot and dance/makeover challenge).
Absolutely, I like anything skill-based and I love ANTM. I like that some public opinion is featured too. I remember expressing my disgust at a particular public opinion in the comments section, but that shows I’m enjoying reading what other virtual people have to say about the competition and how they did.
3. Did you like the guest judges? (Jdbw, who is my real life friend, and the Flavor Girls).
I thought Jdbw was fine. Full of sass but fun and entertaining. The Flavor Girls completely.. uh.. blew me away with the things they say. And I’m sorry to say I got blown into the sewers and IT the clown came and swallowed me whole and I still think this is the better alternative than listening to what they have to say. First impressions aside, I felt much better about reading what they had to say when they started judging. I think I read the comments that some of your readers want them back. I cringe when I realise I’ll be hearing from them again.
4. Are the main plot threads here interesting/believable? (Todd's snooping, Charlee's scheming, Louise's makeover, Matthieu's complicated situation, Enca's descent into feelings of inadequacy, etc.)
Yes. Out of all of them I felt most happy for Louise’s growth and saddest for Enca. She seems fine, but is so stereotyped to the point that no one can see past her projections. Only Harrison is nice enough to try and see the person underneath. There are no parts in Kev and Gev show that featured her trying to connect with the other contestants so I’m not sure if she tried to change her situation. Hence, I’m operating on the assumption that she tried (because who wouldn’t, a person like Enca will know how important it is to have good relations), but ultimately failed.
5. Are you annoyed that Enca keeps getting saved?
More pity and frustration than annoyance. I thought it was unfair for her to be at the bottom albeit realistic.
Episodes 5 and K&GM: Todd's Homecoming
**oops I answered this without reading Todd's Homecoming** I'll edit no. 4 later lol.
I’m going to say no. I understand that Gabriel sees Todd as his older brother but maybe it’s because I don’t remember much of last episode (I did reread quickly) or maybe because these two contestants hadn’t made much of an impression for me, but I can’t see how Todd is ‘older brother’ material. Pablo sounds like a dependable, responsible older brother and Todd has not done anything to portray the same traits as Pablo so Gabriel is seeing something there that I don’t see unless Todd looks like his older brother.
2. What do you think of Marjan at this point?
After episode 4, I don’t trust her. Will add to this as I read. Marjan’s mask is completely off this episode. I’m trying to figure out what is it that rattled her so immensely for her to show so many holes in her disguise. I can’t think of anything except that she kind of liked Mitchell and he got eliminated. It’s not enough justification for her carelessness this episode though. Hoping to find out as I go.
3. What do you think of how the situation between Matthieu and Harrison has evolved? Did you feel bad for Harrison after Todd shattered his happiness?
Oh definitely feeling bad for Harrison. After all Matthieu is his first kiss.
Edit: Okay I just realised how short my comment is here. But if you check your blog I left you a mammoth comment about Matthieu and Harrison hahaha. Please check my true response there
4. How do you feel about what Todd did? Do you think his episode of Kev & Get More redeemed him a little bit?
Is this episode supposed to redeem him? Because it kinda went the other way. He operated on flawed logic, went against his alliance for personal glory, showed horrible Olympic sportsmanship through a low / dirty tactic, and was inconsiderate and hurtful against Harrison. Man, what a cringe when he did that.
Edit: Okay so I read Todd's Homecoming. I like that he grew up and realised what a d*ck of a person he is. It does help redeem him. I'll feel better reading about him if he ever makes a guest appearance. I'm going to leave my super judgey previous comment up anyway so you can see how effective your chapter was in redeeming him.
5. And about K&GM, do you like this tonal shift? Do you think I do OK with this different style of writing?
I’m not quite sure what has shifted sorry. I’m immersing myself in the story and if there’s something technical that shifted I’m afraid I didn’t pick it up at all. All I can say is I enjoyed the story when I first started reading, and I still enjoy it now.
Arc 1 General Questions
I wouldn’t say I’m upset. I do like China so I was hoping she’d get more airtime. It felt particularly unfair when she left because during that episode there were people who deserved to go home much more than she did.
2. Do you have any predictions?
Nope I’m enjoying it. Don’t really want to predict anything. Btw, I keep forgetting to mention this in the comments but I disagreed with the participants that the Olympics was boring. I thought it was great. lol sorry for using this space I suddenly thought about it.
3. Do you have any questions for me? Or for the characters? I really liked what Yimi did when her characters answered to your questions, so I'd love to something similar!
Enca: You became a superstar at age 15 and you mentioned you were a different person when you first started out. Could you share with us how’d you make your debut and of yourself back then?
Kyungri: People are always taking jabs at the fact that you’ve went under the knife and most say it behind your back but some do say it to your face. What are your thoughts about how people treat you?
Mitchell Gabriel
To ajmkv:
1.Who’s your favourite character? Who’s your least favourite? Why?
2.Who would be your best buddy/friend irl?
3.Are any of your characters based off real people? Where do you get inspiration and stock for so many characters?
4.What is a theme you like writing about (besides reality tv shows if that’s a theme)
5.I think you’re at the end of the season, do you plan to do a season 3?
@AdamsEve1231
No worries. Thank you for your answers! I loved reading them and answering your questions.
Thanks for pointing it out. I’m not sure how to edit this part though. In my mind I pictured Athena going ham on Curtis without letting up or drawing breath (lol) so there’s no action here and it should comes across as one huge wall of text which is precisely how it’ll feel like to be in Curtis’s shoes. I’ll think about this more. Hopefully as I read more simlit I’ll get an idea how to improve this bit.
I’d love to answer this, but it’s a spoiler.
Noted.
Grim comes and goes in the story depending on when his services are needed. Hence he appears/reappears wherever.
Ah okay. Gotcha. I didn’t want to write up a full on brawl. I’m glad this strategy worked!
Clarissa doesn’t get a mention anymore because of the story direction. She’s Athena’s classmate who is jealous and spreads rumors of her. I actually have a chapter that showed how Athena was bullied by Clarissa but moderators checked my blog and flagged the entire scene too confrontational and M+ so I scraped the whole chapter. You’re right about the ‘2d stereotypical mean girl’ since I didn’t bother elaborating on Clarissa after that. The gang of boys(not really boys they’re adults with some late teens) gets airtime in Ch 4. I worked in a neighborhood where every kid by the age of 13 had gang connections and personally had/have immediate fam members with such connections. There’s no complicated reason to have one or not to have one, sometimes it happens naturally. In Clarissa’s case, Steve and her have a thing hence her connection.
I had to look up what a meet-cute is and yeah I suppose I was going for that without realising what it is. I’m happy you managed to detect a hint of attraction and developing friendship because that's exactly what I was going for.
I love your million and one questions. I’m so sorry I can’t answer them all now
I think your description of Athena is spot on. She’s got a lot of issues and she’s unfairly taking them out on her mom. It’s okay to not like her (or any of the other characters you meet in the future). I wouldn’t like her either lol and I’m not as nice as Avery so I’d handle her outbursts very differently.
Yeah sorry about the missing info. I got pretty disheartened when the moderators said it was inappropriate so I deleted the whole chapter. Hopefully my answer above gave you some idea. If it doesn’t there’ll be plenty of other chapters that show what kind of person Athena is. I did have some backstory for Clarissa and what happened to her, but I cut everything and didn't develop that direction because if her first chapter was too confrontational, everything else would be flagged the same. I got over this in the later chapters with other situations but never revisited Clarissa.
A huge part of B2W is Athena discovering herself through finding out more about the people around her. So I’m sorry! I can’t say anything about Curtis
1. Not for me, no. I've never felt that protective over someone who's doing bad things and I barely know them. I do have older siblings, but that's what they are to me. I don't have any friends who feel like siblings or anything. Believable? Sure. Relatable? No.
2. Girl is hiding something. Probably a big, sneaky brain. I'm impatiently waiting until she spills the beans. It seems like her shell is cracking.
3. I felt so bad for Harrison. I don't understand how no one told him about Matthieu's boyfriend. Such a horrible situation and honestly, I feel like Harrison should have given him more grief for it but I also understand that this is his first real love and he has no clue how to deal with these kind of feelings yet. I remember my first love and boy, that was messy. And the rotten things I forgave him for, I'd never forgive anyone anymore. It's a process of learning. I just hope it won't be too painful for Harrison.
4. I hated how Todd went about it, but I'm someone told Harrison the truth. Otherwise Harrison would have walked around not knowing anything for a longer amount of time and possibly fall deeper in love with someone who won't tell him the truth. I don't think Todd was an inherently bad person though. I think he made a mistake and I'm glad he realised that and will try to be better from now on. TV and fame changes people. Especially a competition like this one with so much money and fame as a prize will bring out the worst in people clawing their way to the top. Todd didn't need redeeming for me, but it is good to see he admitted his mistakes and tried to right his wrongs.
5. I loved the tonal shift. It's great to see some different writing from you. The main story is obviously mostly dialogue- (or monologue-) based, so it was nice to see some narrative from your side. You're a good writer and I think these side stories are nice change of pace. I have a question though. Are all these side stories about people who left the competition or are some of them about people in the house too? Because if it's just people who left, even seeing the title of the side story is super spoilery. This particular one was obviously already full of spoilers, considering the word 'homecoming'.
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
Now that we'll have a week off, does anyone want to do the awards? I can do them if y'all want, but if one of you is up for it, that'd be cool too! Aside from the categories that @Duvelina mentioned earlier, are there any that you'd like to see?
Kev & Get It • Forum Thread
I'll try to respond to your questions ASAP. I'm finally getting back to semi normal for me.
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
My Sims Pinterest
I've never done an awards ceremony before, so I think I'd rather sit the first one out and see how it's done!
@everyone love @Duvelina's suggestions for award categories. I wonder if we do this every 7 weeks if... we want to split up the awards and do a few each time if we want to have enough options each time.
@ajamkeevin the llama-freezer-bunny-plumbob award is cute.
The banner you made @ajamkeevin is amazing with all our protagonists.
@_sims_Yimi Ooo... I like this. I'd load up my game and have Kass reply but it's a bit slower loading than Ts4 and she's the only character that isn't in TS4.
For now... I would say...
... Kass would care about Sofia and want to help her. She wants to help people in need and she cares deeply about her friends.
... Kass would bond with Liz over puppies and good eats!
...Kass, as a commoner, with some access to wealth and privilege a la grandparents, would probably not be able to get to know Morgana all that well, but might be able to buy and bluff her way into the inner circle... if she were so inclined... if she felt someone or something she cared about was in danger. I think the girls would get along if they weren't playing games. Morgana, I think, is far more cunning than Kass, but Kass and Morgana share the same insatiable curiosity and desire to protect those they care about and love at all costs.
... Kass might not get along with Athena, from what I've read, and both girls seem quick to snap in judgment, but they do share something (sort-of) in common.
... Kyungri is a wild card. Kass does enjoy a good soap opera episode of Specific Hospital every one in awhile with her all time favorite actress Bella Goth. I could see her checking out Kev &Get It, probably with Ayesha. Not sure how she would feel about Kyungri specifically... maybe slightly annoyed by her cool attitude but also partially in awe of her fierce ambition.
That was fun to think through and share! Can't wait to see what we decide for awards.
Find me elsewhere:
My EA App ID: livinasimminlife
Livin' A Simmin' Life Stories
My Worldbuilding Blog
Simblr
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I'd gladly leave the first awards ceremony to you, @ajamkeevin. Being a reality show host I think you're a perfect pick for a first-time awards show presenter. Expanding your horizons and all.
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog
1. I'm not upset that anyone left, although I'd like to see China come back. I thought she had some very witty moments on the show and she was one of my favourites, so I'd like to see her again.
2. With people being able to vote (and my votes radically differing from what other people seem to like), I find it hard to predict anything in terms of who's going to leave and who's going to stay. My one prediction is that Marjan will crack and turn out to be a petty evil mastermind.
3. I love Enca, so I'd like to ask her some questions:
- How did you and Patricio get together?
- What are your future plans? Any new albums on the horizon?
- What are you going to do with the prize money if(/when) you win?
- If you couldn't be a singer, what occupation would you have?
- Do you have any other hobbies besides shaking your peach and singing your little heart out?
Too Good at Goodbyes forum thread
Too Good at Goodbyes blog