My family is rife with mental illness, some a lot worse off than others, and honestly I have to look at it and call it like it is. Some need meds, some don't. It all depends on the person. And the ones who need meds but weren't on them when they were younger developed extremely unhealthy coping habits (drugs, alcohol, self mutilation, etc.). Believe me when I say they need their meds.
And the thing I said about going to video games as an escape is only unhealthy when it's taken too far. I've seen one of my loved ones use video games like they were drugs. She does the same thing with fishing in the summer. I love to go fishing and try to go at least a couple of times a month but this person is at the river every single night of the summer time world without fail all night long. With her it's an obsession. With me it's a hobby that I could turn into an obsession if I let myself.
For me the escaping into video games is for the every day annoyances, not the full-on crises. There is no escaping that stuff as it's with me twenty-four hours a day while it's ongoing and gets me wound up to the point where I have a hard time focusing on anything, much less a video game.
It was actually my mom who started my family playing video games back in 1972 with a Pong machine. It wasn't my kind of thing really but it did open the way for me to later play Super Mario, Dragon Warrior and some Zelda on the NES. Then later after I had a computer I discovered I enjoy simulation games most of all.
I have always been a dork and never fit in with my peers. I eventually figured out that fitting in is a fairly over-rated concept. I learned that having one or two really great friends beat being popular all to pieces. With that kind of friend you don't have to worry about fitting in because they love you no matter what. I'm not the most lovable person on the planet and I ended up ruining many "friendships" during my teen years but it made me realize that the people I was still friends with by the time I hit adulthood were going to be with my friends for as long as we were alive and they have been. The reason so many of them ended up not liking me is because I'm very outspoken. I call things like I see them and a lot of people don't like that. It took my husband years to realize that when I said how I feel about something I'm not doing it to hurt someone's feelings but giving an honest answer.
We all have our battles and many times there are professionals who can help us. Many have been the days I've wished I could afford to see a therapist because I've seen how much the good ones have helped some of the people I know. Of course I've also seen the other side of the coin where some of them did more harm than good.
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Origin says I've played the game for over 500 hours. When I first started playing the game, I would leave it on overnight and like never reboot the computer unless I had to. That was when the computer ran fast and didn't crash a lot. Then a year or two later is started doing that so I had to learn to reboot and save often. So I really didn't "play" it for that long, it was just open for a good chunk of that. But now I usually play from about 5 or 6 to 7 or 8 at night after I get home from school.
@BSIRegina I am anti-meds and doctors for myself. I'm definitely not knocking meds! My fiancee is bipolar and so is my mom. They are pitiful when they don't take their meds. Just plan off their rockers. So, for some I definitely think it's necessary, but I don't like the "pill pushing" aspect of it all. Some people can do without meds and can function fine with life management skills. Nope. " Here, I got a pill for that." That's the aspect I don't like.
And I'm not knocking therapy either. ^.- Ultimately that's my end game goal. Lol
@908Billy When I took my lifespan psychology class they classified young adulthood as ages 20-40. And said this is the time that people start settling down in careers and in families and such. So, by this notation, you aren't behind at all. You still fall in the range.
I used to struggle with feeling like I wasn't on track or was falling behind because everyone else seemed to have things figured out. My best friend has known since forever that she has wanted to be a store manager at a grocery store. (Its like a family thing, but she really loves the place.) And went to college with a declared major that she only changed once. And dated. And knew what kind of guy she wanted and that she wanted kids. She was 19 when ist her. We are 4 years a part. Compared to her I feely very much behind. I didn't start going back to school until I was 26. And still can't say with 100% certainity that I know what I want to do.
I can say that it's nice to see so many different people - ages and genders - playing the sims. (Honestly, I didn't know any its played the Sims until I came to the forums.)
I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. For me it helps distract me from my illness/condition and improves the quality of my life. I play from my recliner on a large screen tv with a wireless keyboard on my lap and wireless mouse on the arm of the chair. There have been many days when I was too sick to do much more. On line forums like this provide a small measure of social interaction that I would otherwise not get from being shut in for too many years.
It's a fun game. If you are healthy, play it for an hour or two here and there and then go live your life while you have your health. Games like this are no substitute for living.
I totally understand you. I get addicted to games pretty easily because of my own problems in RL.
However, when I see that I'm exaggerating, I often do as another person said. I establish goals and I only play when I achieve these goals.
I also try to set up a limit, for example, I only play one or two simdays a day, so, when my sims go to bed it's over for me. I totally agree, there's always tomorrow and vacations.
If I were a sim, I'd be a loner. Since I'm on vacation now, I don't care if I spend the whole day in front of the computer. I don't have much to do, anyway. I'm trying to watch a least a movie a day, do I could say that I did something different. Besides, I'll be traveling next week, so, I'll take a break of everything.
Just one thing. I'm a pessimist, too. It's important to face it and try to deal with it. I always force myself to see the good things I've accomplished and the good side of what I'm doing.
since i dont have a job right now & dont go back to college until the 19th i usually play ts4 whenever i feel like it. i only play ts4 to pass the time since i have nothing to do. i want to catch up on bleach but im so far behind that it discourages me to the point where i dont want to watch any anime at all
Like some others, I also go through simming phases (I’m currently on a building kick). I’ve spent a lot of time simming since the games first came out (played all the console versions before coming to PC), but it’s like any other hobby to me and I only take the time after my responsibilities have been met. There are occasionally weeks that go by that I don’t open my game at all because real life is too busy, and then there are days that I play obsessively for hours on end. I figure everyone needs some down-time though, and I prefer leisure activities like gardening, reading, writing & video games to things like TV, traveling or competitive sports. Playing Sims games, while fun and important to me, is just one part of my life.
All my hobbies, including simming, are also therapeutic for me in some way; that and my enjoyment of them are why I continue to do them. I’ve struggled with my own depression since my early teen years (add a dozen years to your current age and that’s where I’m at now); meds and therapy were never very helpful to me, but a combination of physical activity and immersing myself for a time in something I really enjoy—playing The Sims especially—does help, and afterwards I’m able to return to “the real world” with more energy and enthusiasm for living.
As far as marriage and family, I married and had children quite young (and not necessarily in that order >.<), so I can’t relate to the problem regarding meeting someone. But I thought what you said about not wanting to admit to playing The Sims all night was adorable (not at all intending that to sound patronizing). And it honestly would’ve sold me on a date! I can totally imagine talking with a date about our sim legacies and geeking out as we draw up floor plans on graph paper... sounds like way more fun to me than dinner & drinks or a film! On my first date with my hubby we spent all night talking about PnP D&D and V:TM RPG’s and making characters. xD That continued after we married and we also included console gaming into the mix—after we’d put the kids to bed we’d stay up playing co-op Diablo or something together. Once our kids were older, they got into the PnP RPG’s with us and our circle of friends and brought in their own friends, and the only reason I opened a Steam account is to play multiplayer games with them. So gaming in general can be a fun social activity as well.
Regarding what you said about other guys doing wonders in the world—have you considered volunteer work? I know you said you found the required volunteering you did for your class uncomfortable, but maybe another setting/type of volunteering of your own choosing would be something you’d find rewarding and would make a difference in your own corner of the world. It can help get you “out of yourself” and you can meet people that way too. I admit that working plus family life makes that additional commitment difficult for me sometimes, but the feeling I get from that sort of community involvement is worth it to me, and helps me strike a balance between social activities and my preferred loner activities—like simming. Whatever path you take, I wish you luck in finding a good balance for yourself.
Oh wow - although I know it's relatively popular, it's still a shock to me to see so many who pursued or are pursuing psychology! I briefly considered psychology before moving onto social work/counseling because I'm not heavily interested in the research-heavy aspects, but more of in helping directly. I'm going for child social worker - possibly a case manager in an elementary/middle school, but I'm honestly not picky, as well as a counselor. I'm split on meds - I think when people DO go on meds [unless it's something that needs to be regulated regularly like bi-polar or serious depression] it should only be for a period of time - enough so they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and open up to a therapist so that they know what they can accomplish off the meds, if that makes sense.
I also struggle with depression which fuels my horrible anxiety. I have always felt like I was too behind my peers and that they all hated me for some reason - likely my bumbling awkwardness and that I'm constantly not cut out for social work or a family or my boyfriend. And it's work. It's a lot of work - but you can make it get better. It doesn't get better without trial and fails. I too have a thing about achievement - so much so that after a week of my break I fell back into depression, not sleeping at night, sleeping to four, not wanting to do anything, disliking everyone - just not happiness. I think like what was said above, community service would get you back on your feet - like a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
When I was a kid I would play sims 2 alot with my friend, it was so addicting! I played a little of sims 3. I only own Sims 4 though and just got it a week ago, I haven't played it nearly as much as Sims 2 so far. Then again, I'm still setting up my sims and all that.
@starguru I love that idea of a nerdy date. It's so contradictory to anything we see on TV and in school while growing up. It's not "cool" to like any of the things you mentioned. If you're a guy, you gotta be ripped and not care about anything, know cars and sports. If you're a girl, you have to be up on your fashion and super hot by magazine standards. And as a 28 year old, I can say that stuff doesn't go away, it only mutates into other things, like rich versus poor, or those who got great jobs after school and those who didn't. Those who had kids early and married versus those who didn't. Those moms who lost the baby weight versus those who didn't. Those who lost their virginity by 20 and those who didn't. Those who lost it by 17 and those who didn't. There are always labels, of sorts. And, it's very grown up to ignore that garbage and just be you. But, it isn't easy. How many overweight people look at beautiful models and, even if they mock their existence and how fake they are, still feel a bit saddened? They just cover it up by harping on the shallowness of the world. Look at celebrities; where do the bigger guys and girls tend to appear? Comedy. What is considered the least professional form of acting by the elite of that field? Comedy. Chris Farley abused his weight because it made people laugh, to make fun of himself. He did drugs to cope and ended up dying because of it.
Fitting in is hugely important. Yes, a small group of loyal friends can mean everything. But, especially in terms of finding "the one", all that high school nonsense stays ingrained in us. Status symbols, body size and fitness level, net worth, etc. We are always up for judgment. So, to be able to find someone to run away and draw up D&D characters and things is amazing. I'd personally love to have some giant Nintendo nerd session with a girl out somewhere, just talking about everything from the NES onward. It does get easier to be open about things you truly like, but money and ability still play a huge role. Like, what if the guy you had all these great dates with was too absorbed in these games to be a good father? Glad that's not the case, and usually yeah, one conversation would be enough, especially to a nerd wanting love in his life, to get his act together.
> @AJbackst said: > Oh wow - although I know it's relatively popular, it's still a shock to me to see so many who pursued or are pursuing psychology! I briefly considered psychology before moving onto social work/counseling because I'm not heavily interested in the research-heavy aspects, but more of in helping directly. I'm going for child social worker - possibly a case manager in an elementary/middle school, but I'm honestly not picky, as well as a counselor. I'm split on meds - I think when people DO go on meds [unless it's something that needs to be regulated regularly like bi-polar or serious depression] it should only be for a period of time - enough so they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and open up to a therapist so that they know what they can accomplish off the meds, if that makes sense. > > I also struggle with depression which fuels my horrible anxiety. I have always felt like I was too behind my peers and that they all hated me for some reason - likely my bumbling awkwardness and that I'm constantly not cut out for social work or a family or my boyfriend. And it's work. It's a lot of work - but you can make it get better. It doesn't get better without trial and fails. I too have a thing about achievement - so much so that after a week of my break I fell back into depression, not sleeping at night, sleeping to four, not wanting to do anything, disliking everyone - just not happiness. I think like what was said above, community service would get you back on your feet - like a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. > > I hope you can find what you need. :)
I understand what you mean. I personally would love to be a lost kid's hero. I imagine finding a kid very much like I was in high school coming to me trying his best to hide tears and all the dark thoughts he has, and just opening up all I know to him and setting him back on a good path. I would love to benefit all high school kids as a counselor, able to warn them about college and majors and things, but not scare them. Just enough to light the needed fire, but keep them happy. I majored in psychology though for the research. I had seen many counselors and was still depressed. I wanted to figure it out on my own. I even wanted to do an independent study with a professor, but my anxiety caused me to chicken out on asking. I regret it so much. Psychology is the youngest of sciences, and actually to this day still battles the board of education as to what degree is granted- bachelor's of science or bachelor's of arts. It's not even considered a science to some, although a lot depends on the types of classes offered. There is so much unknown, and it is just naturally attractive to young minds still trying to find their fit in the world, relating to all of the subjects discussed. It's just a shame the pay after college doesn't exist. I've been told (after I graduated), that psychology is better suited as a minor than a major, unless you have great desire to go to Phd level of counseling.
@908Billy I understand some of the stuff you're going through. There is nothing to be ashamed of to admit you're simming. There are a lot of guys your age, even married ones, that play video games every night. When someone asks me why I spend my time gaming, I always come back with "Would you rather have me do the adult thing and do something stupid that would get me into trouble?" That usually shuts them down pretty quick.
I'm on the other side of forty, and the best part I can tell you about getting older is that you get to a point where you don't care what others think or how they judge you. Which probably explains why I'm not afraid to give some very pointed answers here on the forums. In the grand scheme of things, you learn what's important and what's not. Someone's opinion about where you stand in life isn't one of them. The only people keeping score on that are the insecure ones who need to feel good by finding people who aren't as successful as them, have as many material possessions, make as much money, etc.
I got engaged, but never married. I don't have kids, and I don't think I ever will either. The biggest reason is that I identify as androgynous, and to me that falls under the transgender umbrella. Some people are okay with it, while others... let's just say I'm better off not knowing them and that's fine. Even when I had to fit societal norms when I was your age (think short hair, no earrings, etc.), I always ran into people who didn't like me for finding a way to not fit into that picture they have of what I "should" look like.
As for my simming, I didn't start playing until about six years ago but I've always found The Sims series as a calming influence in my life during the rough patches. Sometimes things were not going well with my job. Other times I might be dealing with other problems like finances, dating, family, and the occasional bout with gender dysphoria. But no matter what was going on, The Sims was always there to at least give me a few hours a night to remind me life wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
I've logged 686 hours on The Sims 4 since I bought it last March, but I don't sim every day anymore. I don't want to burn out on it like I once did with The Sims 3 a few years back. That's why I bought two racing games on Origin right after I built my gaming rig a few weeks ago. I also have some casino apps on Windows 10 if I feel like playing blackjack or slots. I'm also a lot more physically active than I was two years ago. I've discovered that getting regular exercise every day helps me deal with life's peaks and valleys. Even going for a twenty minute walk around the neighborhood is good enough to boost my spirits when I'm feeling down.
Hang in there. It may not seem like it but there's always a way to overcome obstacles.
"That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero." - Stan Lee
@Ravager619 Thanks for being so open. I'm really kind of amazed at the response this thread has received since I created it, and I especially like hearing from older simmers. As for the exercise thing: I know that it's scientifically proven to boost mood, and I go through the typical new year's resolution bouts of weight lifting, although never actually on new year's. I think I lifted weights nonstop for over a year once, but I gained MAYBE 15 pounds at best, and it wasn't visible. I've gone back and forth on the whole "buy protein and lift to be a hot guy because skinny guys will never know love" thing ever since. But, it's trash. I don't even care anymore. But, that said, I might get back into it eventually when my money gets better. It helps until the mirror doesn't display what you hope, and you no longer believe that it ever will.
Back in the Sims and Sims2 days... College I got my own computer and promptly fell into simming. I mean, it wouldn't get in the way of other *responsibilities*, as I didn't start until after I'd done everything that needed doing. But there were quite a few nights spent simming instead of sleeping.
I'd say an average week (evenings and weekends), I get in maybe 21 hours of gaming overall? More on some weeks, it depends on what else I have to do and how free not only I am, but the TV is (for console stuff). Some weeks most of that time is spent simming, sometimes I'm deep in something else.
@Ravager619 Thanks for being so open. I'm really kind of amazed at the response this thread has received since I created it, and I especially like hearing from older simmers. As for the exercise thing: I know that it's scientifically proven to boost mood, and I go through the typical new year's resolution bouts of weight lifting, although never actually on new year's. I think I lifted weights nonstop for over a year once, but I gained MAYBE 15 pounds at best, and it wasn't visible. I've gone back and forth on the whole "buy protein and lift to be a hot guy because skinny guys will never know love" thing ever since. But, it's trash. I don't even care anymore. But, that said, I might get back into it eventually when my money gets better. It helps until the mirror doesn't display what you hope, and you no longer believe that it ever will.
You're welcome, and slick marketing about how we're supposed to look is trash. It's like it's a body ideal only 5% of us can only hope to achieve. On the other hand I'm not going to argue that weight training for stamina, not bulk, hasn't done wonders for me. I love the results from less weight and more reps. I have a more toned appearance that will only get better once I lose the rest of the excess weight I've carried for years.
Don't mess with protein powders. Your body does a better job of absorbing minerals and nutrients from food. That's the biggest reason why eating right is worth it. Of course, I still allow myself two "sin" meals a week so I can balance healthy habits with what my body craves once in awhile.
"That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero." - Stan Lee
^^ Haha, I suppose that sort of a date would be considered “nerdy.” xD But I guess I don’t see a point in trying to seem “cool” as I’d rather just enjoy myself in the company of someone with whom I share a common interest. And if my nerdy date can be considered contradictory, all I can say is that the wedding ceremony was even less traditional.
You’re right about people making judgments about others and assigning labels; it is human nature to categorize. And although necessary to a certain degree, labels (positive or negative) can be damaging and prevent us from truly seeing others/ourselves if we allow other people’s judgments to overly influence our own thinking. I only have so much time in my life to spend and I’m not going to waste it worrying over other people’s opinions. So yeah, while there are always labels, you can decide to look further than them into others, and you can also choose not to internalize labels others try to place on you. It’s true that stuff doesn’t “go away,” but you can make up your own mind about what you do with it. Take what's actually valuable or helpful in aiding your personal growth, and toss the leftovers.
Being that you’re 28, you likely had/will soon have your 10 year high school reunion. I think people really start taking stock of what they’ve accomplished and what they haven’t around that time; they consider past choices and often feel the need to make major changes in their lives. It can kind of put you in crisis mode if you suddenly realize that some of the decisions you’ve made are out of sync with who you are, and you can spend a lot of time in contemplative self-assessment which might lead to periods of depression, especially if you’re already prone to it and feel you fall short in comparison to other people. It’s healthy to question where you are in life and set new goals, but try not to be too hard on yourself. And remember to take time to involve yourself in activities you truly enjoy... I hear simming can be fun sometimes.
when i don't have to fulfill any responsibilities/job/on-call-job/kitchen prep/family shindig or whatever, usually i'll go on a 13 hour play which is like once a week but before i even get down to play, i pull my 1 hour walk around my block to get it out of the way for the day. i just mush a buncha hours into one day to play and leave the other days in the week to do the 'life stuff'.
When Sims 2 and Sims 3 came out, I was obsessed with it, being on my computer every day-7 days per week, I couldn't get enough of it, then my computer just died, so bought another PC and then I got sick with cancer in 2011, then my Sims playing ceased because of my health, then in Dec 2011, then in August 2012, had my last CT scan and got the glorious news that I'm cancer-free, then went back to my Sims game, and lost interest in it completely, then got another sad and horrendous news that my mum got told she has terminal cancer-which rocked my world upside down. From being cancer-free myself then being told that your mother will die of this cancer and that there is no cure-it was shocking, but I looked after my mum up until Dec 2012, my health deteriorated as well, but mum was more important than my health and I was still battling a blood clot on top of mum going through chemo, on top of my fatigue as well. So I bought a laptop and went back to playing Sims 2 for a while and stopped, I went through a faze of playing my Sims to try and cope with the shocking news of my mum more than anything. When Sims 4 was announced, I was excited but cautious and still had to think about making my mum comfortable with her cancer, the chemo was horrendous, the side effects were worse and just watching my mum suffer all of this just to make us kids happy-yeah, there's 5 of us in the family along with 12 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. So when Sims 4 base game came out-yes I bought it, but didn't really play it properly then my mum fell out of bed in March, hit her head and back, she was in hospital for a whole month of March, then the doctors gave the bad news that her cancer had progressed further and that there was nothing else they could do for her-my heart sank, disappointed and whilst mum was in hospital in March, I didn't play Sims, but instead I learnt to recolour objects for the Sims 4, to keep my mind busy but to learn how to do this for when my mum passes away to help me recover. So in April 2015, mum passed away, but going back to Sims games, I didn't feel like playing or doing recolours until November 2015 instead I learn't to crochet and knit and that helped me grieve for mum, I joined a crochet group where I live and on Facebook, have heaps of supportive friends and cousins on Facebook to help me grieve and I'm still grieving and will continue to grieve until it's my time to go, so now I've achieved a goal in recolouring, joined a art group online called COLOURlovers.com, made some patterns, and have slowly gone back to playing Sims and other games, but the crochet and knitting is helping me immensely with the grieving process of losing my best friend, my mum. I was determined to learn something new in 2016, and still learning the art of recolouring for Sims 4, now with patterns added from COLOURLovers.com and my next goal is meshing for Sims 4. God bless my mum in heaven. My next achievement is to write a book about my mum's life, so that will happen either this year or 2017.
Thanks for reading my post!
Now that I've been coerced to join the Need For Speed fandom, my simming time has gone down drastically. Tonight I played for an hour and a half, and I'll hopefully get to play more tomorrow. I love the game, but at the moment I love driving fast and evading the cops more.
"That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero." - Stan Lee
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And the thing I said about going to video games as an escape is only unhealthy when it's taken too far. I've seen one of my loved ones use video games like they were drugs. She does the same thing with fishing in the summer. I love to go fishing and try to go at least a couple of times a month but this person is at the river every single night of the summer time world without fail all night long. With her it's an obsession. With me it's a hobby that I could turn into an obsession if I let myself.
For me the escaping into video games is for the every day annoyances, not the full-on crises. There is no escaping that stuff as it's with me twenty-four hours a day while it's ongoing and gets me wound up to the point where I have a hard time focusing on anything, much less a video game.
It was actually my mom who started my family playing video games back in 1972 with a Pong machine. It wasn't my kind of thing really but it did open the way for me to later play Super Mario, Dragon Warrior and some Zelda on the NES. Then later after I had a computer I discovered I enjoy simulation games most of all.
I have always been a dork and never fit in with my peers. I eventually figured out that fitting in is a fairly over-rated concept. I learned that having one or two really great friends beat being popular all to pieces. With that kind of friend you don't have to worry about fitting in because they love you no matter what. I'm not the most lovable person on the planet and I ended up ruining many "friendships" during my teen years but it made me realize that the people I was still friends with by the time I hit adulthood were going to be with my friends for as long as we were alive and they have been. The reason so many of them ended up not liking me is because I'm very outspoken. I call things like I see them and a lot of people don't like that. It took my husband years to realize that when I said how I feel about something I'm not doing it to hurt someone's feelings but giving an honest answer.
We all have our battles and many times there are professionals who can help us. Many have been the days I've wished I could afford to see a therapist because I've seen how much the good ones have helped some of the people I know. Of course I've also seen the other side of the coin where some of them did more harm than good.
Sometimes I play for hours on end and then upload pictures on here while other times I don't even think about The Sims as I am doing something else
And I'm not knocking therapy either. ^.- Ultimately that's my end game goal. Lol
@908Billy When I took my lifespan psychology class they classified young adulthood as ages 20-40. And said this is the time that people start settling down in careers and in families and such. So, by this notation, you aren't behind at all. You still fall in the range.
I used to struggle with feeling like I wasn't on track or was falling behind because everyone else seemed to have things figured out. My best friend has known since forever that she has wanted to be a store manager at a grocery store. (Its like a family thing, but she really loves the place.) And went to college with a declared major that she only changed once. And dated. And knew what kind of guy she wanted and that she wanted kids. She was 19 when ist her. We are 4 years a part. Compared to her I feely very much behind. I didn't start going back to school until I was 26. And still can't say with 100% certainity that I know what I want to do.
I can say that it's nice to see so many different people - ages and genders - playing the sims. (Honestly, I didn't know any its played the Sims until I came to the forums.)
It's a fun game. If you are healthy, play it for an hour or two here and there and then go live your life while you have your health. Games like this are no substitute for living.
However, when I see that I'm exaggerating, I often do as another person said. I establish goals and I only play when I achieve these goals.
I also try to set up a limit, for example, I only play one or two simdays a day, so, when my sims go to bed it's over for me. I totally agree, there's always tomorrow and vacations.
If I were a sim, I'd be a loner. Since I'm on vacation now, I don't care if I spend the whole day in front of the computer. I don't have much to do, anyway. I'm trying to watch a least a movie a day, do I could say that I did something different. Besides, I'll be traveling next week, so, I'll take a break of everything.
Just one thing. I'm a pessimist, too. It's important to face it and try to deal with it. I always force myself to see the good things I've accomplished and the good side of what I'm doing.
All my hobbies, including simming, are also therapeutic for me in some way; that and my enjoyment of them are why I continue to do them. I’ve struggled with my own depression since my early teen years (add a dozen years to your current age and that’s where I’m at now); meds and therapy were never very helpful to me, but a combination of physical activity and immersing myself for a time in something I really enjoy—playing The Sims especially—does help, and afterwards I’m able to return to “the real world” with more energy and enthusiasm for living.
As far as marriage and family, I married and had children quite young (and not necessarily in that order >.<), so I can’t relate to the problem regarding meeting someone. But I thought what you said about not wanting to admit to playing The Sims all night was adorable (not at all intending that to sound patronizing). And it honestly would’ve sold me on a date!
Regarding what you said about other guys doing wonders in the world—have you considered volunteer work? I know you said you found the required volunteering you did for your class uncomfortable, but maybe another setting/type of volunteering of your own choosing would be something you’d find rewarding and would make a difference in your own corner of the world. It can help get you “out of yourself” and you can meet people that way too. I admit that working plus family life makes that additional commitment difficult for me sometimes, but the feeling I get from that sort of community involvement is worth it to me, and helps me strike a balance between social activities and my preferred loner activities—like simming. Whatever path you take, I wish you luck in finding a good balance for yourself.
I also struggle with depression which fuels my horrible anxiety. I have always felt like I was too behind my peers and that they all hated me for some reason - likely my bumbling awkwardness and that I'm constantly not cut out for social work or a family or my boyfriend. And it's work. It's a lot of work - but you can make it get better. It doesn't get better without trial and fails. I too have a thing about achievement - so much so that after a week of my break I fell back into depression, not sleeping at night, sleeping to four, not wanting to do anything, disliking everyone - just not happiness. I think like what was said above, community service would get you back on your feet - like a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
I hope you can find what you need.
That is a lot like me.
I also have CFS, and I've been having symptoms of Fibromyalgia for the last couple of years.
Fitting in is hugely important. Yes, a small group of loyal friends can mean everything. But, especially in terms of finding "the one", all that high school nonsense stays ingrained in us. Status symbols, body size and fitness level, net worth, etc. We are always up for judgment. So, to be able to find someone to run away and draw up D&D characters and things is amazing. I'd personally love to have some giant Nintendo nerd session with a girl out somewhere, just talking about everything from the NES onward. It does get easier to be open about things you truly like, but money and ability still play a huge role. Like, what if the guy you had all these great dates with was too absorbed in these games to be a good father? Glad that's not the case, and usually yeah, one conversation would be enough, especially to a nerd wanting love in his life, to get his act together.
> @AJbackst said:
> Oh wow - although I know it's relatively popular, it's still a shock to me to see so many who pursued or are pursuing psychology! I briefly considered psychology before moving onto social work/counseling because I'm not heavily interested in the research-heavy aspects, but more of in helping directly. I'm going for child social worker - possibly a case manager in an elementary/middle school, but I'm honestly not picky, as well as a counselor. I'm split on meds - I think when people DO go on meds [unless it's something that needs to be regulated regularly like bi-polar or serious depression] it should only be for a period of time - enough so they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and open up to a therapist so that they know what they can accomplish off the meds, if that makes sense.
>
> I also struggle with depression which fuels my horrible anxiety. I have always felt like I was too behind my peers and that they all hated me for some reason - likely my bumbling awkwardness and that I'm constantly not cut out for social work or a family or my boyfriend. And it's work. It's a lot of work - but you can make it get better. It doesn't get better without trial and fails. I too have a thing about achievement - so much so that after a week of my break I fell back into depression, not sleeping at night, sleeping to four, not wanting to do anything, disliking everyone - just not happiness. I think like what was said above, community service would get you back on your feet - like a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
>
> I hope you can find what you need. :)
I understand what you mean. I personally would love to be a lost kid's hero. I imagine finding a kid very much like I was in high school coming to me trying his best to hide tears and all the dark thoughts he has, and just opening up all I know to him and setting him back on a good path. I would love to benefit all high school kids as a counselor, able to warn them about college and majors and things, but not scare them. Just enough to light the needed fire, but keep them happy. I majored in psychology though for the research. I had seen many counselors and was still depressed. I wanted to figure it out on my own. I even wanted to do an independent study with a professor, but my anxiety caused me to chicken out on asking. I regret it so much. Psychology is the youngest of sciences, and actually to this day still battles the board of education as to what degree is granted- bachelor's of science or bachelor's of arts. It's not even considered a science to some, although a lot depends on the types of classes offered. There is so much unknown, and it is just naturally attractive to young minds still trying to find their fit in the world, relating to all of the subjects discussed. It's just a shame the pay after college doesn't exist. I've been told (after I graduated), that psychology is better suited as a minor than a major, unless you have great desire to go to Phd level of counseling.
I'm on the other side of forty, and the best part I can tell you about getting older is that you get to a point where you don't care what others think or how they judge you. Which probably explains why I'm not afraid to give some very pointed answers here on the forums.
I got engaged, but never married. I don't have kids, and I don't think I ever will either. The biggest reason is that I identify as androgynous, and to me that falls under the transgender umbrella. Some people are okay with it, while others... let's just say I'm better off not knowing them and that's fine. Even when I had to fit societal norms when I was your age (think short hair, no earrings, etc.), I always ran into people who didn't like me for finding a way to not fit into that picture they have of what I "should" look like.
As for my simming, I didn't start playing until about six years ago but I've always found The Sims series as a calming influence in my life during the rough patches. Sometimes things were not going well with my job. Other times I might be dealing with other problems like finances, dating, family, and the occasional bout with gender dysphoria. But no matter what was going on, The Sims was always there to at least give me a few hours a night to remind me life wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
I've logged 686 hours on The Sims 4 since I bought it last March, but I don't sim every day anymore. I don't want to burn out on it like I once did with The Sims 3 a few years back. That's why I bought two racing games on Origin right after I built my gaming rig a few weeks ago. I also have some casino apps on Windows 10 if I feel like playing blackjack or slots. I'm also a lot more physically active than I was two years ago. I've discovered that getting regular exercise every day helps me deal with life's peaks and valleys. Even going for a twenty minute walk around the neighborhood is good enough to boost my spirits when I'm feeling down.
Hang in there. It may not seem like it but there's always a way to overcome obstacles.
I'd say an average week (evenings and weekends), I get in maybe 21 hours of gaming overall? More on some weeks, it depends on what else I have to do and how free not only I am, but the TV is (for console stuff). Some weeks most of that time is spent simming, sometimes I'm deep in something else.
You're welcome, and slick marketing about how we're supposed to look is trash. It's like it's a body ideal only 5% of us can only hope to achieve. On the other hand I'm not going to argue that weight training for stamina, not bulk, hasn't done wonders for me. I love the results from less weight and more reps. I have a more toned appearance that will only get better once I lose the rest of the excess weight I've carried for years.
Don't mess with protein powders. Your body does a better job of absorbing minerals and nutrients from food. That's the biggest reason why eating right is worth it. Of course, I still allow myself two "sin" meals a week so I can balance healthy habits with what my body craves once in awhile.
You’re right about people making judgments about others and assigning labels; it is human nature to categorize. And although necessary to a certain degree, labels (positive or negative) can be damaging and prevent us from truly seeing others/ourselves if we allow other people’s judgments to overly influence our own thinking. I only have so much time in my life to spend and I’m not going to waste it worrying over other people’s opinions. So yeah, while there are always labels, you can decide to look further than them into others, and you can also choose not to internalize labels others try to place on you. It’s true that stuff doesn’t “go away,” but you can make up your own mind about what you do with it. Take what's actually valuable or helpful in aiding your personal growth, and toss the leftovers.
Being that you’re 28, you likely had/will soon have your 10 year high school reunion. I think people really start taking stock of what they’ve accomplished and what they haven’t around that time; they consider past choices and often feel the need to make major changes in their lives. It can kind of put you in crisis mode if you suddenly realize that some of the decisions you’ve made are out of sync with who you are, and you can spend a lot of time in contemplative self-assessment which might lead to periods of depression, especially if you’re already prone to it and feel you fall short in comparison to other people. It’s healthy to question where you are in life and set new goals, but try not to be too hard on yourself. And remember to take time to involve yourself in activities you truly enjoy... I hear simming can be fun sometimes.
Thanks for reading my post!
Cheers!
MP