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"Verity Hale's 100 Baby Challenge" LOTTO! Closed, thanks everyone!
olive337337
Posts: 410 Member
Hi once again, all!
I haven't been very busy here on the gg forums lately...
why, do you ask?
I have a little project
, called a 100 baby challenge blog.
I'd love for all of you to read it and give me feedback...so for a little incentive I've racked up some simpoints and decided to make this a lottery. :twisted:
I haven't been very busy here on the gg forums lately...
why, do you ask?
I have a little project
, called a 100 baby challenge blog.I'd love for all of you to read it and give me feedback...so for a little incentive I've racked up some simpoints and decided to make this a lottery. :twisted:
0
Comments
Not many rules, this is very simple.
1. First, click on my signature below (the banner thingy) and read the blog from there, starting from the introduction would be nice.
2. Then, report back here and fill out this form:
What I liked:
What I think you can improve:
Other comments:
Just by you filling this out I'll be able to tell if you actually read it or not. Please be kind, constructive criticism only!
3. Don't copy someone else's form.
4. After your form is approved by me, you may either nominate yourself or someone else of your choice.
5. Each person can only be nominated twice, once by self-nomination and once by somebody else.
6. Contest ends on December 1
There will be 2 winners of 25 simpoints each. Each person can only win once, so if someone's name get picked twice I'll pick another.
I'll use random.org to randomize the list of people and I'll be picking the first and last names on the list. (and number 5 as a backup)
Winners
1. Blondie019
2. Ashleykaymay
3. (backup person) kellycot1
OK! So if you're name is either 1st or 2nd, please tell me what you'd like! You have 2 days (exactly 48 hours) and if you don't check in the 3rd place winner will tell me what they want.
Thanks everyone for participated, and I hope you continue to read Verity's story!
cassandrastryffe
Noxxi
NessiPenguin
PearlDiva2
GreenCats
Blondie019
Ashleykaymay
kellycot1
angel_D0109
moodlet_Mama
And Noxxi http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=NOXXI
What I liked: I liked that you kept it very 'simmish', rather than trying to be too realistic. Such as talking about only being a toddler for a few days. And I LOVED pointing out all the glitches. Whe DID that guy just stand there and pee all night?!
I also really liked that you had an 'in character' reason for the money cheats and new house! Sims have everything so EASY!
I'm certainly curious about her green hair! Will we find out who her birth parents are later? Maybe one is an alien! Or a supernatural?!
What I think you can improve: I believe you think faster than you type. Happens to most people I know who write and you end up with sentences like this: Verity wants to give those like her parents to achieve lifetime happiness, which means in her words,
having children.
Which, grammatically, make no sense at all. I find it's helpful to type everything up in a separate program (like Word) and grammar check it first. Also since it's hard to edit your own writing try reading what you've typed out loud. That's a good way to catch minor mistakes.
Other comments: I prefer the longer updates, personally. But I really like to read. You're doing good and you'll only get better the more you write. Keep it up!
I really love seeing all the individual babies/ toddlers too and how you have set that up.
I think you have the fonts and pictures all perfect and the right sizes
What I think you can improve: Perhaps in the list of babies you could have a picture of the baby as a toddler and a pic of their daddy next to their names?
I haven't personally done a baby challenge but I guess it would be cool if you wrote why she wants so many babies- perhaps for example it is because she never knew her parents and she played with dollies in the orphanage and got attatched to the idea of raising lots of kids? I dunno lol just typing ideas ^_^
Other comments: The improvements I wrote down are probably just more like comments/ ideas I had for your blog lol I don't really think you need to change anything as it is really good just as it is
What I liked:
I think it's really cool that you are open to suggestions and improvements. Your pictures are nice and they are a pretty good size as well. I really loved the post on the hair color it reminds me of natural hair girls and curly haired girls so your story becomes very rl relatable while still being fiction.
The story is also very well organized and the writing is short and sweet and straight to the point which makes it a quick read.
What I think you can improve:
I am a huge fan of visuals and I love your pictures but it would be awesome to see your sims in the pictures more lively or in poses or interactions that really show off their personal personalities to help connect with them throughout the story or see more of the house and decorations. Of course I know she doesn't have a lot of money now but hopefully with a little cash it will be helpful. Scenery even if not all of it is in the picture really does help to set the mood and the tone. Curtains and wall paper. I like realism in the story and all the visuals.
I look forward to seeing the transformation as the blog continues. It is a really cute story so far.
Other comments:
4. After your form is approved by me, you may either nominate yourself or someone else of your choice.
Save time if approved or not
Nominations:
PearlDiva2 http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=PearlDiva2
GreenCats http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=GreenCats
as for the grammar issues, im with you. going to fix that post later. i often post late at night...its not working haha. I think weekends would work better for me.
nessie: i'm planning on putting the pictures of the kids up when they're young adults, thanks for reassuring me!
pearl: yeah, the first few posts didn't really have very good backgrounds but the one I'm working on now is much better, the new house really improves it :-)
What I liked: I really liked it, your doing a great job :thumbup:
What I think you can improve: When I was reading it I noticed some spelling mistakes so you could improve the spelling a bit, other than that I wouldn't change a thing.
Other comments: If your looking for baby daddies I have a Sim in my studio named Dylan Ichtaca, I have two of him with different skin colours because I entered one in a contest and he could only have "normal" skin colouring so I gave him his twin sister's colouring and the other one is the one he was born with. Also he was born a merman but to add him to the exchange I had to turn him human, so I added the scales to him in CAS before uploading him to the exchange. He is completely CC Free.
What I think you can improve: Personally I hate looking at the page itself. That bright, saturated purple with the lime green really hurts my eyes. Blame my colour theory course.
Other comments: Including the community is a great idea. I like how you've got a suggestions page going. I don't know if this is typical for a blog like this but I like it anyway.
My wishlist
What I think you can improve: I think there should be a more detailed backstory about Verity. The layout of the blog is kind of distracting also. Maybe a paler purple would work.
Other comments:
Show far this a great blog, I would be checking back on the story a lot.
What I liked: Your story flows really well and I like that you've included a little history into it as well, with her own adoption and that last post with her through her different life stages. For me, that really helps to connect with a story. I also like that your chapters/posted are clearly named, so I can see where each baby comes in. That'll make it a lot easier to keep track of once there's a few more babies around! The pictures are also great (I loved the one where Leo was grabbing Verity's hand when he was in the crib -- I didn't know they did that!) and really help me to see what's going on; the picture/text balance definitely works for me. I definitely loved the direct quotes and storytelling style; that really adds to the story feel, as opposed to "here are my Sims". It's also cute, quirky and funny, which is so appropriate to Sims!
What I think you can improve: if anything, probably the lay-out. I'm not sure how flexible blogspot is, but it'd be nice to see the text relating to each picture closer to the pictures; most of the time it was clear which bit of text referred to which picture, but a couple of times I got confused and couldn't remember if the text talked about the picture above or below it. It's late though, so that might just be me. I also didn't really like the spacing between each line either. When using direct quotes, that's fine, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist (and a journalist), so that felt disorganised to me. A short block of text -- two or three sentences -- is perfectly fine and helps me read a little easier. Does that make sense? Again, I hope this is constructive -- I really have no idea about the limitations of blogspot.
Other comments: first, where did you get the wall banner/balloons from, that's above the cake for Leo's birthday? I don't remember ever seeing it in my game, so I'm thinking it's CC, but I'm not really sure and would love to know. Also, about your baby names, it'd be cool if you use the dad names in some way, out of respect of the 'service' they're doing! :P Like, you could name the baby something similar (e.g. Dad is John, so baby is Joan or Joel), or maybe just use the first letter of the dad's name. That's always what I do when I can't think of something on my own!
Anyway, congratulations on the challenge, and on the blog!
EDIT: Totally had a late night sleepiness/blonde moment! I was too busy reading I forgot about the lotto part -- anyway, I'm nominating myself, because I'm selfish and want me some new pretty things!
Here's my wishlist, just in case: http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=kellycot1
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
What I think you can improve: Maybe where you list your babies at maybe you could included child photos of them and also photos of the kids fathers so we can see who they take after more of (Mom or Dad).
Other comments: I like the story just maybe try to make it flow a bit better. As I was reading it it seemed a bit jumpy to me. I wish you luck with it though and I can't wait to see more babies.
Instead of nominating myself this time I would like to nom a friend: Ashleykaymay: http://store.thesims3.com/myWishlist.html?persona=Ashleykaymay Thank you for hosting!
* The Krazy_Kim Sim *
1) I liked the "green-hair" story. It's quirky and cute, plus original. After all these 100 baby attempts, it's hard to come out as original...
2) I also liked the reference to Cadence. (I read that story to the very end!)
3) "The house also includes a bathroom so small and disgusting I couldn't bear to show a picture." So much sass and laughs!
4) The name VERITY! Never heard it before.
5) Filipe es muuuuy guapo.
6) "I knew for sure when the soft tinkling notes of a lullaby tickled my ears." I like how she found out the good-old-fashioned "sim-way."
7) Sounds very natural and real at points. EX: "My manners had flown out the window..."
8) Leonardo defies his masculine father... :P "He really likes Taylor Swift." Cute details like that are the best!
9) THE PIC OF HER YELLING AT LEO MADE MY LIFE.
What I Didn't Enjoy:
1) The way she convinced Desmond was weird, gross, and a little *****. It made me feel really awkward to have her basically beg him for sex and he refused and she just begged and begged and pressured him to.
2) How her adopted mother didn't know about Leo when she showed up. If she's supporting her decision to raise 100 kids, I think Verity should let her know when she has GRANDCHILDREN!
3) How her mother bought her a house. Ruined the whole struggling/fighting to manage finances and family aspect.
4) The skin color of Everly! She looks like a zombie!
Other Comments:
Keep up the good work! I really hope you stick with this, you have a fan here!
yes blogger is very unflexible. I've manipulated it to the best I can & i still improve on it everyday
added to the list!
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
As a little present, here is a "leaked" picture from the next update :thumbup:
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
No rush, but I thought a bump might be good.
Happy Snowflake Day month (I know how much sense that made)!
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
Anyways! Apologies again, as I haven't been on the computer in about a week.
Winners posted soon, thank you for sticking with me!
I gotta go out again now but I'll be back with what I would like in a couple hours
Also, congratulations to Blondie019 and Ashleykaymay!
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)