@pammiechick - Mr. Sausages!!! I stayed up late last night reading the entire thing. I never saw it before you linked to it. It was hysterical and I laughed out loud several times before the end. And now he will be back. Totally can't wait.
@pammiechick - Mr. Sausages!!! I stayed up late last night reading the entire thing. I never saw it before you linked to it. It was hysterical and I laughed out loud several times before the end. And now he will be back. Totally can't wait.
(I know...but you’d think you’d be a little upset that you won’t hear my voice ever again. I know you’ll miss me. Say it...come on...you’re going to miss me aren’t you?)
“Um...well...I...er...no.”
(Well, I will miss you. How about that?)
“Of course you’ll miss me. I’m funny, charming, and dashingly handsome. I feel for you, Creator, I really do. And Hunter won’t be as easily led around as I was.”
(You weren’t easy.)
“Yeah, but you had fun. That’s why you’re going to miss me. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a party to order.”
(Fine.)
Divan walks to his room to change out of his work clothes.
All of Hunter’s friends assemble at the Big Bum Bar and Grill. It looks like something Hunter would pick. Red cheesy décor, tons of make out booths, and hot tubs in the back.
“Are you here to congratulate me, brother?” Hunter asks as Levi marches toward the back.
“No, I want to get a drink. Oh, and by the way, none of your henchman showed up for your party. Only your enemy.”
“Buzzkill decided to see my rise to power? Awesome. Cannot wait to gloat in his face.”
Scanning the tables, Hunter spots Buzz Landgraab all by himself, waiting on the festivities. Hunter sits with him. “Hello, Buzzard. Come to watch me fly over you in super strength and ultimate brainiac villainy?”
“Hello, Rodent. Just wanted to see what happens when a rodent turns into a bigger rodent.” He snaps his fingers. “Oh yeah...he just makes a bigger splat on the pavement. By the way, I see you found some clothing. The chicks had a big laugh at...ahem...your small package.”
Hunter laughs, putting his head back. “Oh, Buzzard, you always were the class clown. I’d love to stay here and giggle some more at your lame jokes but I believe I’ve got some growing up to do. Know what that means, Buzzkill? I get to play tonsil hockey with REAL women. Not girls. See you around!”
Hunter picks through the crowd and spies Divan waving him over to the cake he’s just made.
Finally, with a super huge breath, Hunter blows out the candles.
(My stomach is twitching! I finally get to tell him what I think!!!!)
“How's that, Buzzkill? I’m a real man now.”
Flinging his head side to side, Buzz shrugs. “The only man I see here is your pops.”
“Oh,” Buzz goes on, “and I just got a text from Cassandra Goth. Remember that babe you THOUGHT was interested in you? She texted a bunch of barfing emojis when I sent her a pic of you blowing out the candles.”
Hunter shakes his head. “Silly boy. I have no time for your kindergarten antics. I’ve got an appointment with a truly wicked villain, and he’s going to teach me everything he knows.”
“Who’s that? Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?”
Hunter pokes at a hangnail. “No...his name is Mr. Sausages.”
“What? You’re lying. Mr. Sausages would NEVER talk to dimwit like you.”
Hunter shows him a text Mr. Sausages sent only a few minutes ago.
Putting his hands on his head, Buzz moans, “I’ve got a headache.”
“Ha, ha...cheer up, Buzzard. I’ll tell him we’re old friends. Maybe he won’t kill you at first. Oh...who am I kidding? Of course he’s going to kill you! Now, if you don’t mind, I have a party to have fun at.”
(You aren’t REALLY going to have that poor boy killed, are you???)
Hunter gasps, looking around wildly.
(Up here, Dimwit. Hey, I think Buzzkill was onto something. That’s a great name for you!)
“W-Who...” He takes a few staggered breaths. “Who...Whooo...”
(**puts hands on hips** Are you an owl now?)
“W-Who said that?”
Divan looks at me with his cheesy grin.
(**glares** Laugh it up, Divan, but I think I’m going to have fun with this.)
Divan chuckles. “And what’s so wonderful is that I can tell, Creator, that you are talking by poor Hunter’s bewildered expression, but I CAN’T HEAR A WORD YOU ARE SAYING!!! HALLELUIA!!!”
He wanders over to Hunter. “Hey, buddy, can I talk to you about something? I meant to discuss it with you before IT happened...but...”
(He was too lazy to mention me. AND I’M NOT AN IT!!!)
Hunter puts his fingers in his ears.
(**rolls eyes** That won’t help.)
“Son, that won’t help. Let me do a bit of explaining.”
Divan sits down and waves his hands toward me. “You see that up there? It’s sort of a wavy cloud looking thingie?”
“Um...yeah...”
“Well, you’ve never seen it before. Right?”
Scratching his chin, Hunter says, “Now that you mention it...”
“Believe me. You’ve never seen it. Well, that’s our Creator. She made us.”
“She...made us?”
“Yeah...well, she made me, but me and Mom made you...”
Rolling his eyes, Hunter says, “Is this going to be another embarrassing woo hoo talk, Dad, because let me tell you, I’m way passed that.”
“No, now listen! Her name is Creator and she gets her jollies by following around the heir to our family. It’s known as a legacy and...”
(HEY! I do not! That’s the rules to this world I decided to create. You better stop painting a bad picture of me or else!)
“Whoa, Dad. Stop! It’s talking again and making my head hurt!”
“Really? What is IT saying?”
(Tell Divan he’d better say nice things about me or I will let him sleep in his own urine and NOT have you clean it up.)
Hunter laughs. “You will? Really? Wow.”
“What is she saying?”
An evil grin swishes over Hunter's face. “She says you’re a real jerk and she hates you. Do you have any other bad things to say about her?”
(**smacks head**)
“Oh boy, do I!”
***fifteen sim hours later***
“And you feel like you’re going to scream!”
Divan gets out of his chair. “Sorry to lay it all on you like that, but someone has to take on the legacy.”
Hunter shrugs. “Well, she doesn’t seem so bad, so it’s all good. No worries.”
(Glad you’re taking it so well, Hunter! I think we’ll have fun.)
Hunter shakes his head like a dog shaking off water.
(You can’t get rid of me...heheheeeee!)
“Nice chat, son. If you need any help, just let me know.”
“Sure, Dad, and thanks.”
(Awww...that’s sweet...maybe I was wrong about you, Hunter.)
Hunter points at me and orders, “I want a criminal hideout complete with wet bar, lavish office, punishment room, storage warehouse, pool, hot tub and grand master bedroom and bath.”
(**eyes narrow** Oh REALLY? And what if I don’t do what you say?)
Hunter smiles sweetly. “Then I’ll find a way to make your life miserable. And don’t think I won’t!”
(Oh, Hunter, dear...you have no idea who you are fooling with, but just for grins and since you are bent on your evil ways, I’ll give you what you wish as long as you can afford it. I can’t make money pop out of nowhere. But you have to promise you’ll never kill anyone. Deal?)
Hunter mulls this proposition over for quite some time but then finally says, “Deal.”
I didn't think anyone's attitude could make me laugh more than Divan's in this story - but apparently Hunter can! I love his shock! You're going to have fun, I can tell!
Stories: Looking For Mum's Murderer | The Bachelorette | Fifteen
Per Hunter’s request, the following day, I whisk a trendy criminal’s hideout on their lot which looks a lot like an abandoned warehouse.
(How’s this, Hunter?)
“Nice, Creator. This should do....for now.”
(This will do for all time until you can get the funds for a bigger place. I spent all the money your father earned on this swanky joint!)
“Whatever, Creator. Making money is one of my specialties!”
(You mean stealing money?)
“Stealing...earning...what’s the difference?”
**Hits head on desk**
“Oh, glory be!” Divan yells, throwing his hands in the air to heaven. “I still can’t believe I’m not hearing that awful voice inside my head!”
(Hunter, tell Divan your plan...he might wish I was still inside his head.)
“Oh, yeah, hey, Dad...about you living here.”
Divan’s eyebrow arches. “Yeees?”
“Well, you see, it’s just going to be cramped in here and well, with my...um...er...job...the less witnesses the better.” He throws on that cheesy smile Divan himself invented.
Divan shrugs. “I won’t report your activities to anyone and your mom certainly won’t. You’re an adult and need your space. We won’t get in the way.”
“Yeah, well, um...the Creator...yeah, that’s good...the Creator says it’s a rule or some such plum. You gotta go. Now.”
(What??? I never said anything of the sort! You tell him the truth. I just can’t help him out if he has to pee or poop or wants to find a decent place to sleep! Yeesh!)
But Hunter tells him nothing and Divan glowers at me.
“Creator. How could you?”
(I-I didn’t! HUNTER! You tell him the truth right now!)
Hunter pats Divan on the shoulder and says, “It’s all in your best interest, Dad. Creator is going to get you something nice...” he flips a quick glance at me, “and it will be cozy! This warehouse will be too cramped with all the things I have to do and besides, I plan on having a whole passel of minions, I mean kids so...you’ll love it. It’s just your style. Right Creator?”
(**Glares** I don’t know what you’re up to but I’m not doing anything until you tell him the truth.)
“Okay...gosh, Creator. You’re annoying.”
“Isn’t she?” Divan is still glaring at me.
“She’s forcing me to come clean. The truth is, I need my space, Dad. I’m a grown up now and I want a fresh start. Can’t you understand that? I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I really need to do this thing on my own. My way. And I promise you’ll love your new place.”
(And tell him he can visit any time.)
“Well, I don’t think I have to go that far, Creator,” Hunter says inside his head.
(TELL HIM!)
“All right! You don’t have to scream!” Hunter pokes at his ears. “And I’d love for you to visit. On Mondays after five and on Saturdays at noon.”
(Anytime, Hunter.)
“Grr...um...I mean, you can come whenever you wish. Just give me a heads up!”
Balling his fists, Divan says, “Tell Creator that she’ll be lucky if I ever come back!”
Then he thinks about it and adds, “Can you let her know I want a Jacuzzi, swimming pool, full exercise room, private spa, sauna room, and dance room?” Wriggling his fingers, he says, “Whenever she gets the chance.”
(**Eyeroll** He never changes.)
“I’ll let her know,” Hunter assures, pulling Divan by the arm to encourage him to leave. “Now I've got an appointment at 7 with a VIP and he doesn’t like strangers.”
“Okay! I sure am looking forward to that spa with SOME NICE LOOKING LADIES attending.” Divan winks toward me.
(Sigh...I think I’ve got a headache.)
After Hunter says good bye to his family (after I’ve jettisoned a nice place for them across the street), he paces, looking at his watch.
(What’s wrong now?)
“I was sure he said he’d be here by seven o’clock.” Hunter looks at his phone.
(Are you sure you want to mess with him? He doesn’t have any friends. In fact, he makes it his life mission to create new ways to kill off people who claim to be his friend. I think you need to reevaluate things.)
“Don’t worry your cloudy head about it, Creator. I’ve got it all under control.”
(**Shrugs** Okay...at least I have two other heirs who could replace you. Just in case.)
“You won’t have to replace me, Creator. Now stop worrying!)
(Who says I’m worried?)
After another ten minutes of pacing, a large van drops off some crates as a little boy in a hot dog costume hops out of the back.
“Who are you?” Hunter asks. “And what is this junk you’ve dropped on my doorstep? I’m not in the mood to buy any of your lame llama lollipops for your scout troop. Now take your peanut butter stained fingers and disgusting droopy drawers home to your mother. I’m meeting someone important.”
“But I am your 7 pm meeting.”
The kid takes out a piece of paper and reads, “Are you Hunter Rex, residing at 222 Beach Byway Lane?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I was told to give you these crates. They’re from none other than Mr. Sausages himself. He sends you his greetings and may the plum be with you.”
Hunter raises his finger angrily, “This is absurd! Do you know who I am? Hunter the Invincible! And Mr. Sausages assured me he would not only deliver me an item most worthy of my talents to help me rule Newcrest, but he also said he’d speak with me. Not some half pint hot dog full of all sorts of grimy little diseases you’ve probably gotten from all the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you peruse with at school.”
“Listen, pal, who do you think YOU are to speak with my dad? THE Mr. Sausages? You are just some underling who isn’t fit to lick the bottom of my dad’s yellow sneakers.” He raises his finger and sneers, “So nany-nany-boo-boo to you, dorkbrains.”
Then the little monster marches back to the van and speeds away.
Hunter looks at me. “Do you believe that? What is happening to real parenting? I have half a mind to report his upbringing to child services.”
(I wouldn’t do that.)
“Why ever not, Creator?”
(Because he said he was the son of Mr. Sausages.)
Hunter looks at his shoes, scratching his head. “Oh. Yeah. Right. I forgot about that little detail.” He sighs and surveys the crates. “Well, this must be some incredible machine that will make the powers at be succumb to my glorious will!”
(Or it could be an exploding bomb. I wouldn’t touch it if I were you.)
“Oh, Creator, Dad never mentioned what a worry wart you are. I’m telling you. Mr. Sausages and I go way back.”
(Okaaayeee...don’t say I didn’t warn you!)
Pulling his fingers through his hair, Hunter says, “You take all the fun out of things, Creator. I’m tired. I’ll deal with this tomorrow.”
(Oh, good. Then maybe the garbage men will pick it up.)
“I hate my life.”
(Hunter....don’t be a drama queen.)
“No, I take that back. I hate you. Stop talking to me!”
oh, I'm gonna miss Divan's constant flirting, but Hunter will sure make things interesting........
Mr. Sausages son was the most adorable kid in that suit!
oh, I'm gonna miss Divan's constant flirting, but Hunter will sure make things interesting........
Mr. Sausages son was the most adorable kid in that suit!
Isn't he a cutie? Too bad he's a spoiled brat...but what else would come from Mr. Sausages?
I feel sorry for Hunter a bit, he got so nervous I didn't know that Mr. Sausages has a son and he is cute, I liked so much how he talked to Hunter And sure, I'll miss Divan, but I hope we saw him not the last time
@roseinblack69 In Mr. Sausages original universe, he doesn't, but in this one, he does. And his wife is hilarious. You will meet her later.
@Spottydog714 I will miss Divan, too, although he will make cameo appearances, but I can't control him. I was lucky to get the shots I did in the last update! It's the next gen. Hopefully, you'll find Hunter's life entertaining. I know I do.
@Spottydog714 I will miss Divan, too, although he will make cameo appearances, but I can't control him. I was lucky to get the shots I did in the last update! It's the next gen. Hopefully, you'll find Hunter's life entertaining. I know I do.
I'm sure I will, if this update is anything to go by!
Stories: Looking For Mum's Murderer | The Bachelorette | Fifteen
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After Kasanovas come Blaubers|The strange body|Nexir, forgotten King|Signature by @Marialein
Mr. Sausages is classic!
(What are you grinning about, Divan?)
“Don’t you know, Creator? Today is the day!”
(I know...but you’d think you’d be a little upset that you won’t hear my voice ever again. I know you’ll miss me. Say it...come on...you’re going to miss me aren’t you?)
“Um...well...I...er...no.”
(Well, I will miss you. How about that?)
“Of course you’ll miss me. I’m funny, charming, and dashingly handsome. I feel for you, Creator, I really do. And Hunter won’t be as easily led around as I was.”
(You weren’t easy.)
“Yeah, but you had fun. That’s why you’re going to miss me. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a party to order.”
(Fine.)
Divan walks to his room to change out of his work clothes.
All of Hunter’s friends assemble at the Big Bum Bar and Grill. It looks like something Hunter would pick. Red cheesy décor, tons of make out booths, and hot tubs in the back.
“Are you here to congratulate me, brother?” Hunter asks as Levi marches toward the back.
“No, I want to get a drink. Oh, and by the way, none of your henchman showed up for your party. Only your enemy.”
“Buzzkill decided to see my rise to power? Awesome. Cannot wait to gloat in his face.”
Scanning the tables, Hunter spots Buzz Landgraab all by himself, waiting on the festivities. Hunter sits with him. “Hello, Buzzard. Come to watch me fly over you in super strength and ultimate brainiac villainy?”
“Hello, Rodent. Just wanted to see what happens when a rodent turns into a bigger rodent.” He snaps his fingers. “Oh yeah...he just makes a bigger splat on the pavement. By the way, I see you found some clothing. The chicks had a big laugh at...ahem...your small package.”
Hunter laughs, putting his head back. “Oh, Buzzard, you always were the class clown. I’d love to stay here and giggle some more at your lame jokes but I believe I’ve got some growing up to do. Know what that means, Buzzkill? I get to play tonsil hockey with REAL women. Not girls. See you around!”
Hunter picks through the crowd and spies Divan waving him over to the cake he’s just made.
Finally, with a super huge breath, Hunter blows out the candles.
(My stomach is twitching! I finally get to tell him what I think!!!!)
“How's that, Buzzkill? I’m a real man now.”
Flinging his head side to side, Buzz shrugs. “The only man I see here is your pops.”
“Oh,” Buzz goes on, “and I just got a text from Cassandra Goth. Remember that babe you THOUGHT was interested in you? She texted a bunch of barfing emojis when I sent her a pic of you blowing out the candles.”
Hunter shakes his head. “Silly boy. I have no time for your kindergarten antics. I’ve got an appointment with a truly wicked villain, and he’s going to teach me everything he knows.”
“Who’s that? Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?”
Hunter pokes at a hangnail. “No...his name is Mr. Sausages.”
“What? You’re lying. Mr. Sausages would NEVER talk to dimwit like you.”
Hunter shows him a text Mr. Sausages sent only a few minutes ago.
Putting his hands on his head, Buzz moans, “I’ve got a headache.”
“Ha, ha...cheer up, Buzzard. I’ll tell him we’re old friends. Maybe he won’t kill you at first. Oh...who am I kidding? Of course he’s going to kill you! Now, if you don’t mind, I have a party to have fun at.”
(You aren’t REALLY going to have that poor boy killed, are you???)
Hunter gasps, looking around wildly.
(Up here, Dimwit. Hey, I think Buzzkill was onto something. That’s a great name for you!)
“W-Who...” He takes a few staggered breaths. “Who...Whooo...”
(**puts hands on hips** Are you an owl now?)
“W-Who said that?”
Divan looks at me with his cheesy grin.
(**glares** Laugh it up, Divan, but I think I’m going to have fun with this.)
Divan chuckles. “And what’s so wonderful is that I can tell, Creator, that you are talking by poor Hunter’s bewildered expression, but I CAN’T HEAR A WORD YOU ARE SAYING!!! HALLELUIA!!!”
He wanders over to Hunter. “Hey, buddy, can I talk to you about something? I meant to discuss it with you before IT happened...but...”
(He was too lazy to mention me. AND I’M NOT AN IT!!!)
Hunter puts his fingers in his ears.
(**rolls eyes** That won’t help.)
“Son, that won’t help. Let me do a bit of explaining.”
Divan sits down and waves his hands toward me. “You see that up there? It’s sort of a wavy cloud looking thingie?”
“Um...yeah...”
“Well, you’ve never seen it before. Right?”
Scratching his chin, Hunter says, “Now that you mention it...”
“Believe me. You’ve never seen it. Well, that’s our Creator. She made us.”
“She...made us?”
“Yeah...well, she made me, but me and Mom made you...”
Rolling his eyes, Hunter says, “Is this going to be another embarrassing woo hoo talk, Dad, because let me tell you, I’m way passed that.”
“No, now listen! Her name is Creator and she gets her jollies by following around the heir to our family. It’s known as a legacy and...”
(HEY! I do not! That’s the rules to this world I decided to create. You better stop painting a bad picture of me or else!)
“Whoa, Dad. Stop! It’s talking again and making my head hurt!”
“Really? What is IT saying?”
(Tell Divan he’d better say nice things about me or I will let him sleep in his own urine and NOT have you clean it up.)
Hunter laughs. “You will? Really? Wow.”
“What is she saying?”
An evil grin swishes over Hunter's face. “She says you’re a real jerk and she hates you. Do you have any other bad things to say about her?”
(**smacks head**)
“Oh boy, do I!”
***fifteen sim hours later***
“And you feel like you’re going to scream!”
Divan gets out of his chair. “Sorry to lay it all on you like that, but someone has to take on the legacy.”
Hunter shrugs. “Well, she doesn’t seem so bad, so it’s all good. No worries.”
(Glad you’re taking it so well, Hunter! I think we’ll have fun.)
Hunter shakes his head like a dog shaking off water.
(You can’t get rid of me...heheheeeee!)
“Nice chat, son. If you need any help, just let me know.”
“Sure, Dad, and thanks.”
(Awww...that’s sweet...maybe I was wrong about you, Hunter.)
Hunter points at me and orders, “I want a criminal hideout complete with wet bar, lavish office, punishment room, storage warehouse, pool, hot tub and grand master bedroom and bath.”
(**eyes narrow** Oh REALLY? And what if I don’t do what you say?)
Hunter smiles sweetly. “Then I’ll find a way to make your life miserable. And don’t think I won’t!”
(Oh, Hunter, dear...you have no idea who you are fooling with, but just for grins and since you are bent on your evil ways, I’ll give you what you wish as long as you can afford it. I can’t make money pop out of nowhere. But you have to promise you’ll never kill anyone. Deal?)
Hunter mulls this proposition over for quite some time but then finally says, “Deal.”
(Sigh...this might be harder than I thought.)
Sucker for pain - Evina's story
Twists In Time And Space (Updated December 2nd 2018. New discord server!)
Bob Bobson (Updated August 12th 2019)
He'll miss me...his smug self just can't admit it.
On my Blog:
After Kasanovas come Blaubers|The strange body|Nexir, forgotten King|Signature by @Marialein
Divan's genes are the best...hee! And it goes along with what's going to happen in this story (eventually). Will update soon!
Per Hunter’s request, the following day, I whisk a trendy criminal’s hideout on their lot which looks a lot like an abandoned warehouse.
(How’s this, Hunter?)
“Nice, Creator. This should do....for now.”
(This will do for all time until you can get the funds for a bigger place. I spent all the money your father earned on this swanky joint!)
“Whatever, Creator. Making money is one of my specialties!”
(You mean stealing money?)
“Stealing...earning...what’s the difference?”
**Hits head on desk**
“Oh, glory be!” Divan yells, throwing his hands in the air to heaven. “I still can’t believe I’m not hearing that awful voice inside my head!”
(Hunter, tell Divan your plan...he might wish I was still inside his head.)
“Oh, yeah, hey, Dad...about you living here.”
Divan’s eyebrow arches. “Yeees?”
“Well, you see, it’s just going to be cramped in here and well, with my...um...er...job...the less witnesses the better.” He throws on that cheesy smile Divan himself invented.
Divan shrugs. “I won’t report your activities to anyone and your mom certainly won’t. You’re an adult and need your space. We won’t get in the way.”
“Yeah, well, um...the Creator...yeah, that’s good...the Creator says it’s a rule or some such plum. You gotta go. Now.”
(What??? I never said anything of the sort! You tell him the truth. I just can’t help him out if he has to pee or poop or wants to find a decent place to sleep! Yeesh!)
But Hunter tells him nothing and Divan glowers at me.
“Creator. How could you?”
(I-I didn’t! HUNTER! You tell him the truth right now!)
Hunter pats Divan on the shoulder and says, “It’s all in your best interest, Dad. Creator is going to get you something nice...” he flips a quick glance at me, “and it will be cozy! This warehouse will be too cramped with all the things I have to do and besides, I plan on having a whole passel of minions, I mean kids so...you’ll love it. It’s just your style. Right Creator?”
(**Glares** I don’t know what you’re up to but I’m not doing anything until you tell him the truth.)
“Okay...gosh, Creator. You’re annoying.”
“Isn’t she?” Divan is still glaring at me.
“She’s forcing me to come clean. The truth is, I need my space, Dad. I’m a grown up now and I want a fresh start. Can’t you understand that? I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I really need to do this thing on my own. My way. And I promise you’ll love your new place.”
(And tell him he can visit any time.)
“Well, I don’t think I have to go that far, Creator,” Hunter says inside his head.
(TELL HIM!)
“All right! You don’t have to scream!” Hunter pokes at his ears. “And I’d love for you to visit. On Mondays after five and on Saturdays at noon.”
(Anytime, Hunter.)
“Grr...um...I mean, you can come whenever you wish. Just give me a heads up!”
Balling his fists, Divan says, “Tell Creator that she’ll be lucky if I ever come back!”
Then he thinks about it and adds, “Can you let her know I want a Jacuzzi, swimming pool, full exercise room, private spa, sauna room, and dance room?” Wriggling his fingers, he says, “Whenever she gets the chance.”
(**Eyeroll** He never changes.)
“I’ll let her know,” Hunter assures, pulling Divan by the arm to encourage him to leave. “Now I've got an appointment at 7 with a VIP and he doesn’t like strangers.”
“Okay! I sure am looking forward to that spa with SOME NICE LOOKING LADIES attending.” Divan winks toward me.
(Sigh...I think I’ve got a headache.)
After Hunter says good bye to his family (after I’ve jettisoned a nice place for them across the street), he paces, looking at his watch.
(What’s wrong now?)
“I was sure he said he’d be here by seven o’clock.” Hunter looks at his phone.
(Who?)
“Mr. Sausages, of course!”
(Are you sure you want to mess with him? He doesn’t have any friends. In fact, he makes it his life mission to create new ways to kill off people who claim to be his friend. I think you need to reevaluate things.)
“Don’t worry your cloudy head about it, Creator. I’ve got it all under control.”
(**Shrugs** Okay...at least I have two other heirs who could replace you. Just in case.)
“You won’t have to replace me, Creator. Now stop worrying!)
(Who says I’m worried?)
After another ten minutes of pacing, a large van drops off some crates as a little boy in a hot dog costume hops out of the back.
“Who are you?” Hunter asks. “And what is this junk you’ve dropped on my doorstep? I’m not in the mood to buy any of your lame llama lollipops for your scout troop. Now take your peanut butter stained fingers and disgusting droopy drawers home to your mother. I’m meeting someone important.”
“But I am your 7 pm meeting.”
The kid takes out a piece of paper and reads, “Are you Hunter Rex, residing at 222 Beach Byway Lane?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I was told to give you these crates. They’re from none other than Mr. Sausages himself. He sends you his greetings and may the plum be with you.”
Hunter raises his finger angrily, “This is absurd! Do you know who I am? Hunter the Invincible! And Mr. Sausages assured me he would not only deliver me an item most worthy of my talents to help me rule Newcrest, but he also said he’d speak with me. Not some half pint hot dog full of all sorts of grimy little diseases you’ve probably gotten from all the 🐸🐸🐸🐸 you peruse with at school.”
“Listen, pal, who do you think YOU are to speak with my dad? THE Mr. Sausages? You are just some underling who isn’t fit to lick the bottom of my dad’s yellow sneakers.” He raises his finger and sneers, “So nany-nany-boo-boo to you, dorkbrains.”
Then the little monster marches back to the van and speeds away.
Hunter looks at me. “Do you believe that? What is happening to real parenting? I have half a mind to report his upbringing to child services.”
(I wouldn’t do that.)
“Why ever not, Creator?”
(Because he said he was the son of Mr. Sausages.)
Hunter looks at his shoes, scratching his head. “Oh. Yeah. Right. I forgot about that little detail.” He sighs and surveys the crates. “Well, this must be some incredible machine that will make the powers at be succumb to my glorious will!”
(Or it could be an exploding bomb. I wouldn’t touch it if I were you.)
“Oh, Creator, Dad never mentioned what a worry wart you are. I’m telling you. Mr. Sausages and I go way back.”
(Okaaayeee...don’t say I didn’t warn you!)
Pulling his fingers through his hair, Hunter says, “You take all the fun out of things, Creator. I’m tired. I’ll deal with this tomorrow.”
(Oh, good. Then maybe the garbage men will pick it up.)
“I hate my life.”
(Hunter....don’t be a drama queen.)
“No, I take that back. I hate you. Stop talking to me!”
(LOL....oh...you’re so funny!)
He stomps to the front and slams the door.
Mr. Sausages son was the most adorable kid in that suit!
Sucker for pain - Evina's story
Oh yes...Divan always gets what he wants! Ha!
Isn't he a cutie? Too bad he's a spoiled brat...but what else would come from Mr. Sausages?
On my Blog:
After Kasanovas come Blaubers|The strange body|Nexir, forgotten King|Signature by @Marialein
@Spottydog714 I will miss Divan, too, although he will make cameo appearances, but I can't control him. I was lucky to get the shots I did in the last update! It's the next gen. Hopefully, you'll find Hunter's life entertaining. I know I do.
Twists In Time And Space (Updated December 2nd 2018. New discord server!)
Bob Bobson (Updated August 12th 2019)
I'm sure I will, if this update is anything to go by!