And you're right to be. :twisted: You'll just have to wait and see. (unfortunately until next weekend)
Okay! ^__^
Oh noo! Not the twisted face! Now I'm more anxious. XD And that's okay. I can wait. ^_^ I'm actually debating on whether to start updating my actual story next weekend or if I should finish all the band bios first. Decisions, decisions. lol
And you're right to be. :twisted: You'll just have to wait and see. (unfortunately until next weekend)
Okay! ^__^
Oh noo! Not the twisted face! Now I'm more anxious. XD And that's okay. I can wait. ^_^ I'm actually debating on whether to start updating my actual story next weekend or if I should finish all the band bios first. Decisions, decisions. lol
That's my favorite face.
Write whichever one is coming to you. And if you've got both written, well, I can't help you there.
Write whichever one is coming to you. And if you've got both written, well, I can't help you there.
Lol I know it is. XD It's a pretty awesome face, I must admit. lol
I haven't written any of either yet. but I think I might start on the actual story this weekend. I've missed my characters. It's been months now. lol
And the reactions its gets. :twisted:
yeah, if you could write either just pick one. Yeah, even three weeks without updating made me start missing my characters, I can't imagine going months.
Yeah, that hair does wonders for her face. Like. I didn't think she was pretty until that hair happened.
Maybe he will.
Maybe he won't.
Yeah... I can see that. Spectra is getting some mixed reactions (mostly negative) which is what I wanted.
Holy jeez it surely does do things for her face. Like. Man.
But.
Just.
If he doesn't leave make him...better or something. Like. Just. No.
Oh my jeez I feel so heartless but like. She just acts JUST like that chick at school and I wanna slap her upside the head but I can't really do that to sims XD. Ahh I know what you mean about the mixed reactions thing.
yeah, if you could write either just pick one. Yeah, even three weeks without updating made me start missing my characters, I can't imagine going months.
That's the best part! :twisted:
Lol yup. It's been torture. XD So ifI'm lucky I'll get an update out this weekend, unless I spend this weekend testing out worlds I downloaded. because i got some EA worlds for free and I'm crazy excited right now. omg. lmao
Holy jeez it surely does do things for her face. Like. Man.
But.
Just.
If he doesn't leave make him...better or something. Like. Just. No.
Oh my jeez I feel so heartless but like. She just acts JUST like that chick at school and I wanna slap her upside the head but I can't really do that to sims XD. Ahh I know what you mean about the mixed reactions thing.
It always surprises me when I combine a hair that I feel so-so about and a sim I feel so-so about, and BAM attractiveness.
Lol yup. It's been torture. XD So ifI'm lucky I'll get an update out this weekend, unless I spend this weekend testing out worlds I downloaded. because i got some EA worlds for free and I'm crazy excited right now. omg. lmao
:twisted:
Well, I'll be looking forward to your update. careful. have you heard about CAS (Copywrite Alert System, not create-a-sim.) its basically a renamed SOPA that just got passed. internet providers can snoop on your internet and they'll send warnings for copywrite violations like torrents and stuff, and send you warnings and then slow your connection, and stuff.
Well, I'll be looking forward to your update. careful. have you heard about CAS (Copywrite Alert System, not create-a-sim.) its basically a renamed SOPA that just got passed. internet providers can snoop on your internet and they'll send warnings for copywrite violations like torrents and stuff, and send you warnings and then slow your connection, and stuff.
I'm looking forward to writing it. lol omg! It actually got passed? That sucks! When did it get passed?
Like, yesterday. I was reading an article on it today in my newspaper class. article on wired.com
I just looked at a bunch of articles on it after you told me. It's crazy. I downloaded like 4 different worlds. Guess I won't be playing with them anytime soon. Now I'm too nervous to. lol
Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I have dealt with one girl in particular who does over dramatic stuff like crying and locking herself in the bathroom stall and GGRRR. No more. You break down the door, drag her out, and if she's just being a whiny... well, then you make her pay for the broken door. And then you have a serious talk with her.
I think she should stay with Disco. I just want them to like, go to Berry the counselor and work out their 'you must tell the other' issues.
I just looked at a bunch of articles on it after you told me. It's crazy. I downloaded like 4 different worlds. Guess I won't be playing with them anytime soon. Now I'm too nervous to. lol
Yeah, its scary stuff. You won't have any problems playing them, since they're already on your computer, but its a good thing you didn't download them any later than you did. I didn't mean to take away your enjoyment of them!
Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I have dealt with one girl in particular who does over dramatic stuff like crying and locking herself in the bathroom stall and GGRRR. No more. You break down the door, drag her out, and if she's just being a whiny... well, then you make her pay for the broken door. And then you have a serious talk with her.
I think she should stay with Disco. I just want them to like, go to Berry the counselor and work out their 'you must tell the other' issues.
Yeah, girls like that are annoying, but you can't blame people for having emotions. Everybody's got emotions, and they can't just keep them all bottled up all the time (because when you do stuff like this--being what's happening with Spectra--happens.)
She might do that, or she might not. (wow, I've been saying that a lot lately.)
Yeah, its scary stuff. You won't have any problems playing them, since they're already on your computer, but its a good thing you didn't download them any later than you did. I didn't mean to take away your enjoyment of them!
Lol It's okay. I'm actually really happy you let me know because i completely forgot they were going to pass that. But I might still try them out this weekend depending on how I feel or else I'll try them next weekend just so I can get pictures this weekend. :]
Lol It's okay. I'm actually really happy you let me know because i completely forgot they were going to pass that. But I might still try them out this weekend depending on how I feel or else I'll try them next weekend just so I can get pictures this weekend. :]
oO moving out and in with the boyfriend...that could be kinda bad lol
...Disco && Spectra?!...I thought they had a thing, so far I was right about something lol
I like Indi and Disco but I kinda think that she should just get over the whole Spectra thing and either slap her around a few times(lol) or just learn to ignore her. She's letting her get in a place that's not good, specially since Indi an Disco don't get to spend much time together right now
Berry and the Beautiful...Title for a story I'm working on lol
oO moving out and in with the boyfriend...that could be kinda bad lol
...Disco && Spectra?!...I thought they had a thing, so far I was right about something lol
I like Indi and Disco but I kinda think that she should just get over the whole Spectra thing and either slap her around a few times(lol) or just learn to ignore her. She's letting her get in a place that's not good, specially since Indi an Disco don't get to spend much time together right now
Berry and the Beautiful...Title for a story I'm working on lol
You'll just have to see.
Yep!
Yeah, Indi's not so good with ignoring people. Its not her strong suit.
“She locked herself in the bathroom?” I asked, wondering what was so bad about that. Sometimes girls needed to be alone. Of course, depending on the reason it might be a fairly dangerous thing. “Do you know why?” I asked, slowing as I reached the two of them sitting by the door.
“I don’t know, but she was crying when she went in.” Laser told me, “It looked bad. I’m worried ‘cause there are razors in there.” I didn’t know if Spectra had a history of cutting, but it sounded like maybe she did. Laser would know better than I did. “But its locked. I don’t really know what to do.” Crumpled on the floor, Laser looked like he was on the verge of breaking. Celtic continued banging on the door, but with each pound of his fist he grew less optimistic.
“Go away!” Spectra screamed from inside. Her voice was breaking, “Leave me alone!” She definitely sounded like she’d been crying. Hard. Her voice was scratchy and rough sounding.
Celtic spun to face me, and he seemed to relax a lot when he heard Spectra’s voice, “Hey, Indigo.” He sighed, and then pointed to the door, “Spectra’s boyfriend broke up with her, and I’m worried about her.” He explained, “I’m afraid she’s gonna... I’m afraid she’s gonna revert to her old coping methods.” He didn’t seem to want to acknowledge what that coping method was.
“Indigo’s here?” Spectra asked, feebly, “Indigo?” Her voice seemed to come a little closer to the door when she called for me.
“Yeah, Spectra...” I said, carefully, “Are you okay?” I looked at Celtic, hoping that he could give me a little help, but he just shrugged. I heard the lock on the bathroom door clicking, and it opened just a crack. Spectra peeked through, and Celtic put his foot in the door before she could close it.
“Indigo can come in.” Spectra said quietly, as she pushed against the door, and Celtic’s foot. Celtic and Laser looked at me in confusion, though Laser's expression was mixed with a bit of pain, and this time I shrugged. Spectra opened the door enough so that I could come in, and I shut in behind me. I looked down and saw her sitting against the wall, with her arms around her knees.
There was a dismantled razor sitting on the counter, but the blade was on the floor next to her. My eyes went straight to her wrists, which had no fresh blood on them, so I kicked the blade away before sitting down. Spectra lunged forward as the thin piece of metal slid across the floor, but I grabbed her, and prevented her from getting to it.
“You’re gonna regret that.” I told her, keeping my eyes on the little square, and making a mental note to get rid of it later. Spectra and I may not have liked each other, but I couldn’t let her do that to herself.
I sat down next to Spectra, so that if she needed to have a shoulder to cry on she could have one. “What happened?” I asked, hoping that she would answer, and not get mad at me. I felt like I was walking on very thin ice with Spectra. “Do you wanna talk about i--”
“He broke up with me!” Spectra sobbed suddenly, her head fell forward until it rested on her arms, “He promised me we were gonna get married, but he broke up with me!” She didn’t let me see her face when it was covered in tears, she still had some dignity and I respected that, “We’ve been together for 4 years.” She cried. Something seemed off about that. She couldn’t have known Disco 4 years ago, which meant that her relationship with him was extra-relationship. I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything, and instead just patted Spectra on the back.
She pulled her shoulder away from me, and I removed my hand from it. I didn’t really know what to say, “His loss...” I said, hoping it would make her feel better. I didn’t know anything about her boyfriend, so I tried to keep my sentiments generic.
“I mean, I don’t even know what went wrong! We made it through the thing with Disco, but now... I don’t know...” She gave me the explanation before I even had to ask. She gulped, “What’s wrong with me?” She lifted her head, wiping her eyes, “What did I do?” I had never seen her look so vulnerable. This wasn’t the Spectra that I knew and hated, she seemed more innocent, more raw, more in need. I couldn’t imagine Spectra normally being okay with crying in front of anybody, especially me, but there she was. Tears pouring down her face.
“I... I don’t know, Spectra. I’m sure you’re better off without him.” I didn’t really know what I was supposed to say to a girl when she got dumped, I didn’t know what seemed like too much. “So don’t do anything now that you would think back on and be disappointed about.” I hoped that wasn’t horribly offensive to her. I’d never been a cutter, so I didn’t know how to comfort her. I didn’t want to say anything that stepped over the line, or anything that made her think that I knew anything about the way she felt.
The conversation was over, that I could tell, so I stood up and made my way over to the blade that was lying on the ground. I took it with me, to throw away in the kitchen garbage, where Spectra couldn’t find it. Although I was pleased with myself because that had gone better that I’d thought it would.
Spectra came out the bathroom behind me, wiping her eyes on the sleeves of her jacket. She reached out for Celtic, and buried her head in his chest, still sobbing. Laser looked as though he wished that he could help. The pained expression was still on his face, and he looked lost with Spectra buried in Celtic’s arms.
I tried not to watch. I made my way to the kitchen, quickly, and then back to my room, so I could sleep for the rest of the night, hopefully.
I was feeling a little chilled, and so, for the first time in too long, I slid under the covers to go to sleep. I tried to ignore the fact that Disco was there. I still felt a little weird about our woohoo. It never felt the way I wanted it to, but I kept hoping that the next time would be better. I’d wait until I felt like sleeping with him again, but afterwards I would be put off again. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t escape.
And as I went to sleep a purple face flashed into my mind’s eye. But it wasn’t Disco, it was somebody else.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
For once Disco had been right. They only worked on the CD for a couple more days, and then they were done. Their manager gave them a couple of days to relax, and then they were going to work on publicity.
Even though Disco promised that he’d hang out with me every second of every day during his time off, I still found myself with a bit of alone time. It was my fault, though, not his, because I told him that I couldn’t miss a single episode of The Berry and the Beautiful. He told me he couldn’t watch a single episode, and I completely understood. It would be completely ridiculous to expect a guy to watch a soap opera with me every day.
When I trekked out to the living room, running over the details of the last episode in my head, I found that my usual spot on the couch was taken. Celtic was lying in the place that he knew was mine, at the time that he knew was mine. The look on his face was a weird mixture of nervousness, excitement, and worry, the source of which I couldn’t place.
“Hey, move.” I called to him, approaching the couch. His eyes flicked over at me, but his body stayed completely still. “Get!” I yelled at him, waving my hands and trying to shoo him away. He just grunted, “Come on Celtic, I’m gonna miss the drama.” He grunted again. I reached down and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him off the couch. He pulled against me, with more force, and even went I put my whole body weight into pulling him off the couch I made no progress.
“Fine, have it your way.” I told him, sitting down next to him, grabbing the remote, and turning on the TV. I switched to the channel with The Berry and the Beautiful, wondering how long he would last while it was playing. “You have nobody to blame but yourself.” I said, shaking my head and making a ‘tsk’ sound.
“Indigooooo.” Celtic whined. Rubbing his forehead with his hands, “Indigo, you don’t understand.”
“Well, if you don’t wanna watch it you can always get up and leave.” I smiled, turning to look at Celtic’s face. He wasn’t amused. He also looked a bit more concerned than he should have about being annoyed with a TV show. “Are you okay?” I asked, taking my attention off the show, knowing that I wouldn’t really be missing anything, “You look a little... off...”
“No. I’m not really okay.” Celtic admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m freaking out, Indigo.” He couldn’t keep his hands still. One minute they were laced together by his fingers, the next he had one hand stuck through his hair. I could feel his leg shaking behind me, as well. That was weird for Celtic, he was usually so calm, but now he was fidgety.
I muted the TV, “What’s wrong? Is this about Spectra? She hasn’t tried anything else.”
He shook his head, “No, this is more... personal...” He sighed, “And if I tell you about it... you have to keep quiet, okay? Can you promise me that?” He reached out and took my hand, extending my pinkie and wrapped his around it. “Promise not to say anything?”
“I promise.” I told him.
He sat up, and swung his legs off the side of the couch. It took him a minute to collect his thoughts before he could even begin his sentence, and even then he didn’t really know what he wanted to say, “I’ve been... I really want... Um... so you know...” He stuttered. He took a deep breath and tried again, “You know Nepal, right? My boyfriend?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I breathed, wondering if there was something wrong with Nepal. That was my best guess, since Celtic seemed so worried, but I figured that it would be best not to jump to conclusions.
“Well, I...” He gulped, “I want to... I... I’m planning on...” He leaned forward, covering his face and trying to compose himself, “Iwanttoproposetohim.” He spat out. I couldn’t make any sense of what he had said.
“Slower?” I asked, “Because that just sounded like you puked up the alphabet.” I laughed, but Celtic didn’t. I’m sure it was because he was nervous, because my joke was a good one.
“I want to propose to him.” Celtic said again, this time making sure he enunciated. I almost started yelling out of excitement, but then I remember that I promise to keep quiet. I bit the inside of my cheek until I calmed down. “And I’m really nervous.” Celtic added, in case that wasn’t already abundantly clear.
“I’m really happy for you.” I said, hoping it sounded sincere, since it was. “You and Nepal are really good together.” I smiled at him, and gave him a side hug. His arm found its way around my shoulder.
“I’m so nervous, though. I’m doing it tomorrow.” He took a deep breath, leaning away from me, “And I’m gonna do it by--” He froze. His eyes went wide, and he covered his mouth, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
He jumped up from the couch faster than I thought was possible, and ran off to the bathroom, leaving me alone to gather my thoughts. It seemed like everything that happened anymore made me ‘gather my thoughts’ and ponder my current living situation. His discussion of proposal made me think about my relationship situation.
And marriage.
I’d never been the kind of person to dream of marriage. In fact, I’d always kind of thought it was stupid. I didn’t really see any benefits that outweighed the ordeal of a wedding. So much time, money, and effort had to be put into one night, and if it was anything less than ‘perfect’ then all of that would have gone down the drain. Pointless.
And what was more, I didn’t really feel like I wanted that kind of commitment to Disco. Sure, I thought he was attractive, and yeah, we were intimate, but I didn’t feel really all that... connected to him. I had an inkling of a feeling that it wasn’t really love that was making me stay. I didn’t want to say that it was the possibility that he could be famous that made me stick around, because that made me seem like a horrible person, but I had to admit, to myself, at least, that deep down that was a large factor.
It wasn’t as if I was the only one of the two of us that wasn’t really fully engaged in the relationship. Disco definitely valued his recording over me, at least emotionally, so I didn’t have to feel bad.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
“Come on, Indi. Just one song. I’m really proud of this one.” Disco begged, following me into our room with his guitar. His break after the recording had been a little too long, and he was starting to go crazy from lack of music. I knew that when the CD came out, and especially when the concerts started, I was going to hear more than enough of their music, and I didn’t need to wear myself out too early. “Please.”
I sighed, lying down our bed, “Yeah, okay. Just one.” I stared up at the ceiling as Disco began to play. It was good, what he was playing, but I knew that in a weeks time I wouldn’t think so anymore. I was gonna get so sick of their music. It was a shame, because their music was amazing, but I just didn’t have the ability to listen to a song a hundred times and still enjoy it.
I closed my eyes and savored the music. I savored the time that it would sound amazing. I wished that I could feel the same way about it later, but I knew I wouldn’t I had to take it all in while I could. Disco only played the guitar part for me, but he was lead, so it still sounded like a complete song. He couldn’t sing very well, so I didn’t get that part, but I could imagine what Laser’s voice sounded like, paired with the guitar.
The end of the song came, and I felt Disco’s gentle touch on my hand. I opened my eyes, to find him standing next to the bed, leaning over me. “What’d you think?” He asked, leaning over and kissing me before I could answer.
“It was amazing.” I said, and I was being honest. He had an unmatched skill for the guitar.
Suddenly I heard a piercing scream coming from the living room. I looked at Disco in confusion, and his furrowed brow matched what mine must have looked like. I heard it again, but this time there were words, “Let go of me!” It was Spectra. I pushed on Disco’s shoulders, and sat up. We heard it again.
“Should we check that out?” He asked, motioning to the door with his thumb. I nodded, and got up from the bed. I took off running, and he followed closely behind me. I was more worried than him, since I had a previous encounter with Spectra’s reactions. I was worried for her safety more than anything else.
When I got a clear view of the kitchen I saw Laser, with his arms around Spectra’s waist, pulling her back. She was screaming, and flailing, and trying to kick Laser. On the counter in front of her was her phone, with the screen lit up. Suddenly I heard a voice coming out of it.
“Hello? Hello? Spectra?” And then whoever it was hung up.
“Let go of me!” Spectra screamed again. Celtic snatched her phone off the counter, and Laser set her feet down on the floor. She ran over to Celtic, smacking him over and over, fairly feebly, and demanding he give her the phone back.
“What’s going on?” I asked, glad that Spectra wasn’t doing anything dangerous to herself.
Celtic walked out of the kitchen and over to me, he leaned in close and explained quietly that she’d been trying to call her ex-boyfriend. “She’s drunk.” He added before he turned away, shoving the phone in his back pocket, “Spectra, you can have this back once you’re sober. If you call Pesto now you’ll be sorry. You never want to drunk-dial an ex.” Spectra lunged forward, trying to reach the phone in Celtic’s pocket. He was stronger than her, and held her back without exerting much effort.
“Spectra, remember what I said,” I told her, as I walked into the kitchen, “You’re better off without him. Don’t let that change just because you had a bit of juice--” She turned her gaze from Celtic onto me, and she reached out and grabbed my wrist, yanking me towards her.
“Shut up! Shut up you dumb tart!” She screamed, digging her nails into my skin. “What the fudge do you even know about this? You and Disco have had the perfect relationship for the past 2 years!” She was definitely much more violent when she was drunk.
Celtic shifted so that he was blocking me from Spectra's reach. She tried to shove through him, but she was no match for his human wall. “Don’t act like you understand!” She screamed at me. There was a frightening ferocity in her eyes.
I knew it would be useless to contradict her, even though Disco and I were far from perfect, I tried not to dig myself into a deeper hole. I had to be the bigger person here, as much as is pained me, “I’m sorry, Spectra, I’m just trying to he--”
“Shut up! What don’t you understand about shut up?” She shouted, still clawing at Celtic’s arm. “I hate you! Who the fudge do you think you are?” She tried to spit on me, but I jumped away from her before it could reach me. Laser stood on the opposite end of the kitchen, watching with a sad look. His eyes never left Spectra.
Disco came up behind me, taking my hand and pulled me farther from her, “That’s enough, Spectra.” He said, trying to calm her down. I worked... in a way.
Spectra pulled back from Celtic’s arms, and fell to the ground, pulling her knees into her chest. She started crying. The rest of us were dumbfounded at her intense mood swing.
“I’m sorry.” She cried, “I’m a horrible person. I’m sorry.” I saw that she was shaking a little. I wanted to go and help her, but I didn’t know if she was going to freak out on me again. Clearly it would be good for me to remember how unpredictable she was when she was really drunk. She usually was careful not to get wasted, but she wasn’t in her right mind anymore. Laser strode forward, looking like he wanted to help her. He knelt next to her, wanting to sit with her on the floor and lend her a shoulder to cry on, but he stopped when she pulled her head up from her knees and looked right at me, “But you leave me alone.”
Comments
Oh noo! Not the twisted face! Now I'm more anxious. XD And that's okay. I can wait. ^_^ I'm actually debating on whether to start updating my actual story next weekend or if I should finish all the band bios first. Decisions, decisions. lol
That's my favorite face.
Write whichever one is coming to you. And if you've got both written, well, I can't help you there.
I too am wondering what is up with Spectra as well, I hope it doesn't cause Indigo's world to come crashing down.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
I haven't written any of either yet. but I think I might start on the actual story this weekend. I've missed my characters. It's been months now. lol
I'm usually bad with cliffhangers, but this one worked out.
Maybe it will, maybe it won't.
And the reactions its gets. :twisted:
yeah, if you could write either just pick one. Yeah, even three weeks without updating made me start missing my characters, I can't imagine going months.
Guess what guys.
One year anniversary? January 17th. I missed it. I fudging missed it.
Wow. I'm so cool.
>__<
But.
Just.
If he doesn't leave make him...better or something. Like. Just. No.
Oh my jeez I feel so heartless but like. She just acts JUST like that chick at school and I wanna slap her upside the head but I can't really do that to sims XD. Ahh I know what you mean about the mixed reactions thing.
WHAT
IT'S ALREADY BEEN A YEAR FOR YOU
WHAT
HAPPY LATE 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY
I WOULD PUT A GIF HERE BUT I HAVE NONE THAT FIT THIS SITUATION I HAVE MOSTLY DEPRESSING ONES
That's the best part! :twisted:
Lol yup. It's been torture. XD So ifI'm lucky I'll get an update out this weekend, unless I spend this weekend testing out worlds I downloaded. because i got some EA worlds for free and I'm crazy excited right now. omg. lmao
It always surprises me when I combine a hair that I feel so-so about and a sim I feel so-so about, and BAM attractiveness.
You'll just have to see.
YEP! I am not to be trusted with important dates/times like this. >__<
THANK YOU!
^______^
I got'cha. I mostly have either really weird stuff, or responses for sadness in my gif folder.
:twisted:
Well, I'll be looking forward to your update. careful. have you heard about CAS (Copywrite Alert System, not create-a-sim.) its basically a renamed SOPA that just got passed. internet providers can snoop on your internet and they'll send warnings for copywrite violations like torrents and stuff, and send you warnings and then slow your connection, and stuff.
I'm looking forward to writing it. lol omg! It actually got passed? That sucks! When did it get passed?
Like, yesterday. I was reading an article on it today in my newspaper class. article on wired.com
I think she should stay with Disco. I just want them to like, go to Berry the counselor and work out their 'you must tell the other' issues.
Yeah, its scary stuff. You won't have any problems playing them, since they're already on your computer, but its a good thing you didn't download them any later than you did. I didn't mean to take away your enjoyment of them!
Yeah, girls like that are annoying, but you can't blame people for having emotions. Everybody's got emotions, and they can't just keep them all bottled up all the time (because when you do stuff like this--being what's happening with Spectra--happens.)
She might do that, or she might not. (wow, I've been saying that a lot lately.)
You're welcome! ^__^ Yeah, you should.
oO moving out and in with the boyfriend...that could be kinda bad lol
...Disco && Spectra?!...I thought they had a thing, so far I was right about something lol
I like Indi and Disco but I kinda think that she should just get over the whole Spectra thing and either slap her around a few times(lol) or just learn to ignore her. She's letting her get in a place that's not good, specially since Indi an Disco don't get to spend much time together right now
Berry and the Beautiful...Title for a story I'm working on lol
You'll just have to see.
Yep!
Yeah, Indi's not so good with ignoring people. Its not her strong suit.
Haha.
“She locked herself in the bathroom?” I asked, wondering what was so bad about that. Sometimes girls needed to be alone. Of course, depending on the reason it might be a fairly dangerous thing. “Do you know why?” I asked, slowing as I reached the two of them sitting by the door.
“I don’t know, but she was crying when she went in.” Laser told me, “It looked bad. I’m worried ‘cause there are razors in there.” I didn’t know if Spectra had a history of cutting, but it sounded like maybe she did. Laser would know better than I did. “But its locked. I don’t really know what to do.” Crumpled on the floor, Laser looked like he was on the verge of breaking. Celtic continued banging on the door, but with each pound of his fist he grew less optimistic.
“Go away!” Spectra screamed from inside. Her voice was breaking, “Leave me alone!” She definitely sounded like she’d been crying. Hard. Her voice was scratchy and rough sounding.
Celtic spun to face me, and he seemed to relax a lot when he heard Spectra’s voice, “Hey, Indigo.” He sighed, and then pointed to the door, “Spectra’s boyfriend broke up with her, and I’m worried about her.” He explained, “I’m afraid she’s gonna... I’m afraid she’s gonna revert to her old coping methods.” He didn’t seem to want to acknowledge what that coping method was.
“Indigo’s here?” Spectra asked, feebly, “Indigo?” Her voice seemed to come a little closer to the door when she called for me.
“Yeah, Spectra...” I said, carefully, “Are you okay?” I looked at Celtic, hoping that he could give me a little help, but he just shrugged. I heard the lock on the bathroom door clicking, and it opened just a crack. Spectra peeked through, and Celtic put his foot in the door before she could close it.
“Indigo can come in.” Spectra said quietly, as she pushed against the door, and Celtic’s foot. Celtic and Laser looked at me in confusion, though Laser's expression was mixed with a bit of pain, and this time I shrugged. Spectra opened the door enough so that I could come in, and I shut in behind me. I looked down and saw her sitting against the wall, with her arms around her knees.
There was a dismantled razor sitting on the counter, but the blade was on the floor next to her. My eyes went straight to her wrists, which had no fresh blood on them, so I kicked the blade away before sitting down. Spectra lunged forward as the thin piece of metal slid across the floor, but I grabbed her, and prevented her from getting to it.
“You’re gonna regret that.” I told her, keeping my eyes on the little square, and making a mental note to get rid of it later. Spectra and I may not have liked each other, but I couldn’t let her do that to herself.
I sat down next to Spectra, so that if she needed to have a shoulder to cry on she could have one. “What happened?” I asked, hoping that she would answer, and not get mad at me. I felt like I was walking on very thin ice with Spectra. “Do you wanna talk about i--”
“He broke up with me!” Spectra sobbed suddenly, her head fell forward until it rested on her arms, “He promised me we were gonna get married, but he broke up with me!” She didn’t let me see her face when it was covered in tears, she still had some dignity and I respected that, “We’ve been together for 4 years.” She cried. Something seemed off about that. She couldn’t have known Disco 4 years ago, which meant that her relationship with him was extra-relationship. I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything, and instead just patted Spectra on the back.
She pulled her shoulder away from me, and I removed my hand from it. I didn’t really know what to say, “His loss...” I said, hoping it would make her feel better. I didn’t know anything about her boyfriend, so I tried to keep my sentiments generic.
“I mean, I don’t even know what went wrong! We made it through the thing with Disco, but now... I don’t know...” She gave me the explanation before I even had to ask. She gulped, “What’s wrong with me?” She lifted her head, wiping her eyes, “What did I do?” I had never seen her look so vulnerable. This wasn’t the Spectra that I knew and hated, she seemed more innocent, more raw, more in need. I couldn’t imagine Spectra normally being okay with crying in front of anybody, especially me, but there she was. Tears pouring down her face.
“I... I don’t know, Spectra. I’m sure you’re better off without him.” I didn’t really know what I was supposed to say to a girl when she got dumped, I didn’t know what seemed like too much. “So don’t do anything now that you would think back on and be disappointed about.” I hoped that wasn’t horribly offensive to her. I’d never been a cutter, so I didn’t know how to comfort her. I didn’t want to say anything that stepped over the line, or anything that made her think that I knew anything about the way she felt.
The conversation was over, that I could tell, so I stood up and made my way over to the blade that was lying on the ground. I took it with me, to throw away in the kitchen garbage, where Spectra couldn’t find it. Although I was pleased with myself because that had gone better that I’d thought it would.
Spectra came out the bathroom behind me, wiping her eyes on the sleeves of her jacket. She reached out for Celtic, and buried her head in his chest, still sobbing. Laser looked as though he wished that he could help. The pained expression was still on his face, and he looked lost with Spectra buried in Celtic’s arms.
I tried not to watch. I made my way to the kitchen, quickly, and then back to my room, so I could sleep for the rest of the night, hopefully.
I was feeling a little chilled, and so, for the first time in too long, I slid under the covers to go to sleep. I tried to ignore the fact that Disco was there. I still felt a little weird about our woohoo. It never felt the way I wanted it to, but I kept hoping that the next time would be better. I’d wait until I felt like sleeping with him again, but afterwards I would be put off again. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn’t escape.
And as I went to sleep a purple face flashed into my mind’s eye. But it wasn’t Disco, it was somebody else.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
For once Disco had been right. They only worked on the CD for a couple more days, and then they were done. Their manager gave them a couple of days to relax, and then they were going to work on publicity.
Even though Disco promised that he’d hang out with me every second of every day during his time off, I still found myself with a bit of alone time. It was my fault, though, not his, because I told him that I couldn’t miss a single episode of The Berry and the Beautiful. He told me he couldn’t watch a single episode, and I completely understood. It would be completely ridiculous to expect a guy to watch a soap opera with me every day.
When I trekked out to the living room, running over the details of the last episode in my head, I found that my usual spot on the couch was taken. Celtic was lying in the place that he knew was mine, at the time that he knew was mine. The look on his face was a weird mixture of nervousness, excitement, and worry, the source of which I couldn’t place.
“Hey, move.” I called to him, approaching the couch. His eyes flicked over at me, but his body stayed completely still. “Get!” I yelled at him, waving my hands and trying to shoo him away. He just grunted, “Come on Celtic, I’m gonna miss the drama.” He grunted again. I reached down and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him off the couch. He pulled against me, with more force, and even went I put my whole body weight into pulling him off the couch I made no progress.
“Fine, have it your way.” I told him, sitting down next to him, grabbing the remote, and turning on the TV. I switched to the channel with The Berry and the Beautiful, wondering how long he would last while it was playing. “You have nobody to blame but yourself.” I said, shaking my head and making a ‘tsk’ sound.
“Indigooooo.” Celtic whined. Rubbing his forehead with his hands, “Indigo, you don’t understand.”
“Well, if you don’t wanna watch it you can always get up and leave.” I smiled, turning to look at Celtic’s face. He wasn’t amused. He also looked a bit more concerned than he should have about being annoyed with a TV show. “Are you okay?” I asked, taking my attention off the show, knowing that I wouldn’t really be missing anything, “You look a little... off...”
“No. I’m not really okay.” Celtic admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m freaking out, Indigo.” He couldn’t keep his hands still. One minute they were laced together by his fingers, the next he had one hand stuck through his hair. I could feel his leg shaking behind me, as well. That was weird for Celtic, he was usually so calm, but now he was fidgety.
I muted the TV, “What’s wrong? Is this about Spectra? She hasn’t tried anything else.”
He shook his head, “No, this is more... personal...” He sighed, “And if I tell you about it... you have to keep quiet, okay? Can you promise me that?” He reached out and took my hand, extending my pinkie and wrapped his around it. “Promise not to say anything?”
“I promise.” I told him.
He sat up, and swung his legs off the side of the couch. It took him a minute to collect his thoughts before he could even begin his sentence, and even then he didn’t really know what he wanted to say, “I’ve been... I really want... Um... so you know...” He stuttered. He took a deep breath and tried again, “You know Nepal, right? My boyfriend?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I breathed, wondering if there was something wrong with Nepal. That was my best guess, since Celtic seemed so worried, but I figured that it would be best not to jump to conclusions.
“Well, I...” He gulped, “I want to... I... I’m planning on...” He leaned forward, covering his face and trying to compose himself, “Iwanttoproposetohim.” He spat out. I couldn’t make any sense of what he had said.
“Slower?” I asked, “Because that just sounded like you puked up the alphabet.” I laughed, but Celtic didn’t. I’m sure it was because he was nervous, because my joke was a good one.
“I want to propose to him.” Celtic said again, this time making sure he enunciated. I almost started yelling out of excitement, but then I remember that I promise to keep quiet. I bit the inside of my cheek until I calmed down. “And I’m really nervous.” Celtic added, in case that wasn’t already abundantly clear.
“I’m really happy for you.” I said, hoping it sounded sincere, since it was. “You and Nepal are really good together.” I smiled at him, and gave him a side hug. His arm found its way around my shoulder.
“I’m so nervous, though. I’m doing it tomorrow.” He took a deep breath, leaning away from me, “And I’m gonna do it by--” He froze. His eyes went wide, and he covered his mouth, “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
He jumped up from the couch faster than I thought was possible, and ran off to the bathroom, leaving me alone to gather my thoughts. It seemed like everything that happened anymore made me ‘gather my thoughts’ and ponder my current living situation. His discussion of proposal made me think about my relationship situation.
And marriage.
I’d never been the kind of person to dream of marriage. In fact, I’d always kind of thought it was stupid. I didn’t really see any benefits that outweighed the ordeal of a wedding. So much time, money, and effort had to be put into one night, and if it was anything less than ‘perfect’ then all of that would have gone down the drain. Pointless.
And what was more, I didn’t really feel like I wanted that kind of commitment to Disco. Sure, I thought he was attractive, and yeah, we were intimate, but I didn’t feel really all that... connected to him. I had an inkling of a feeling that it wasn’t really love that was making me stay. I didn’t want to say that it was the possibility that he could be famous that made me stick around, because that made me seem like a horrible person, but I had to admit, to myself, at least, that deep down that was a large factor.
It wasn’t as if I was the only one of the two of us that wasn’t really fully engaged in the relationship. Disco definitely valued his recording over me, at least emotionally, so I didn’t have to feel bad.
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
“Come on, Indi. Just one song. I’m really proud of this one.” Disco begged, following me into our room with his guitar. His break after the recording had been a little too long, and he was starting to go crazy from lack of music. I knew that when the CD came out, and especially when the concerts started, I was going to hear more than enough of their music, and I didn’t need to wear myself out too early. “Please.”
I sighed, lying down our bed, “Yeah, okay. Just one.” I stared up at the ceiling as Disco began to play. It was good, what he was playing, but I knew that in a weeks time I wouldn’t think so anymore. I was gonna get so sick of their music. It was a shame, because their music was amazing, but I just didn’t have the ability to listen to a song a hundred times and still enjoy it.
I closed my eyes and savored the music. I savored the time that it would sound amazing. I wished that I could feel the same way about it later, but I knew I wouldn’t I had to take it all in while I could. Disco only played the guitar part for me, but he was lead, so it still sounded like a complete song. He couldn’t sing very well, so I didn’t get that part, but I could imagine what Laser’s voice sounded like, paired with the guitar.
The end of the song came, and I felt Disco’s gentle touch on my hand. I opened my eyes, to find him standing next to the bed, leaning over me. “What’d you think?” He asked, leaning over and kissing me before I could answer.
“It was amazing.” I said, and I was being honest. He had an unmatched skill for the guitar.
Suddenly I heard a piercing scream coming from the living room. I looked at Disco in confusion, and his furrowed brow matched what mine must have looked like. I heard it again, but this time there were words, “Let go of me!” It was Spectra. I pushed on Disco’s shoulders, and sat up. We heard it again.
“Should we check that out?” He asked, motioning to the door with his thumb. I nodded, and got up from the bed. I took off running, and he followed closely behind me. I was more worried than him, since I had a previous encounter with Spectra’s reactions. I was worried for her safety more than anything else.
When I got a clear view of the kitchen I saw Laser, with his arms around Spectra’s waist, pulling her back. She was screaming, and flailing, and trying to kick Laser. On the counter in front of her was her phone, with the screen lit up. Suddenly I heard a voice coming out of it.
“Hello? Hello? Spectra?” And then whoever it was hung up.
“Let go of me!” Spectra screamed again. Celtic snatched her phone off the counter, and Laser set her feet down on the floor. She ran over to Celtic, smacking him over and over, fairly feebly, and demanding he give her the phone back.
“What’s going on?” I asked, glad that Spectra wasn’t doing anything dangerous to herself.
Celtic walked out of the kitchen and over to me, he leaned in close and explained quietly that she’d been trying to call her ex-boyfriend. “She’s drunk.” He added before he turned away, shoving the phone in his back pocket, “Spectra, you can have this back once you’re sober. If you call Pesto now you’ll be sorry. You never want to drunk-dial an ex.” Spectra lunged forward, trying to reach the phone in Celtic’s pocket. He was stronger than her, and held her back without exerting much effort.
“Spectra, remember what I said,” I told her, as I walked into the kitchen, “You’re better off without him. Don’t let that change just because you had a bit of juice--” She turned her gaze from Celtic onto me, and she reached out and grabbed my wrist, yanking me towards her.
“Shut up! Shut up you dumb tart!” She screamed, digging her nails into my skin. “What the fudge do you even know about this? You and Disco have had the perfect relationship for the past 2 years!” She was definitely much more violent when she was drunk.
Celtic shifted so that he was blocking me from Spectra's reach. She tried to shove through him, but she was no match for his human wall. “Don’t act like you understand!” She screamed at me. There was a frightening ferocity in her eyes.
I knew it would be useless to contradict her, even though Disco and I were far from perfect, I tried not to dig myself into a deeper hole. I had to be the bigger person here, as much as is pained me, “I’m sorry, Spectra, I’m just trying to he--”
“Shut up! What don’t you understand about shut up?” She shouted, still clawing at Celtic’s arm. “I hate you! Who the fudge do you think you are?” She tried to spit on me, but I jumped away from her before it could reach me. Laser stood on the opposite end of the kitchen, watching with a sad look. His eyes never left Spectra.
Disco came up behind me, taking my hand and pulled me farther from her, “That’s enough, Spectra.” He said, trying to calm her down. I worked... in a way.
Spectra pulled back from Celtic’s arms, and fell to the ground, pulling her knees into her chest. She started crying. The rest of us were dumbfounded at her intense mood swing.
“I’m sorry.” She cried, “I’m a horrible person. I’m sorry.” I saw that she was shaking a little. I wanted to go and help her, but I didn’t know if she was going to freak out on me again. Clearly it would be good for me to remember how unpredictable she was when she was really drunk. She usually was careful not to get wasted, but she wasn’t in her right mind anymore. Laser strode forward, looking like he wanted to help her. He knelt next to her, wanting to sit with her on the floor and lend her a shoulder to cry on, but he stopped when she pulled her head up from her knees and looked right at me, “But you leave me alone.”