Hello, everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been on much lately, but I've had RL problems to deal with. i'm not here today seeking the comfort of my fellow simmer's -- I'm here to ask for help for a friend. He's been pretty badly depressed lately, and I don't know how I can help. He sleeps in all day, and he barely leaves the house when he's awake. He's also now (in his own mind) the 'least productive' member of the household, since everybody else has a job or is accomplished in some other area. He barely eats, gets little to no exercise, and is perpetually grumpy and depressed no matter what we try to cheer him up. Getting him to do anything -- even things we know he loves doing, or things that are good for him -- is like herding cats. This is a huge deviation from his normal behavior, and I desperately want to help him get out of this deep funk. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to help pull my roommate out of this funk?
EDIT: We've tried talking to him about it, but he insists that there's been no change in his behavior and that there's nothing wrong with him. Whether he realizes it or not, he's lost all of his passion for life. He just sits around all day, doing practically nothing. It's actually getting depressing just to watch him continue doing this to himself.
Depression is a hard thing. There's not much you can really DO apart from be there for him, give him some space but let him know he's got someone to turn to. Tell him you're worried about his well being and how it's effecting others around him (I know it seems harsh but sometimes people need it to realize) and try to prove how much he has changed.
I've been through depression and it took until I ended up in hospital with my nan crying by my side for me to realize and I will never get that image out my head.
Is there anything significant that's changed that could have triggered the depression?
Back after a 5year break away. I mainly build. I don't use CC just 'moveobjects'.
Was mainly known on the good old sims 3 forums.
Firstly, wow! Thank you so much for that ray of light! Such a poetic and thoughtful gift, but you really didn't have to! Of course, it did make me smile really big, so I guess you served your purpose there! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
But you are so right, in so many ways. Of course you won't be judged here for your past, at least not by me. I'm 18 now, and have managed to stay away from drugs of all kinds, but that's only because I was SO young when I learned some rather hard truths about it. In fact, that is usually my 'silver lining' for all of what I've been through; though I've more than suffered at times, it kept me on a clean path, and that's something I'd like to think I can be proud of.
As you said, it definitely affects people differently. I suppose there are some fairly common effects, like the trouble with getting motivated as you said, but some people think they're fine with it and good for them. Having seen countless cases, I'm quite the skeptic when people try to say it doesn't change them or effect them, generally they need to be looking more at their family and friends for what it does to those people, but I'm not here to judge anyone. People use for different reasons and it's not business of mine to de-legitimise those reasons for them.
Dad definitely does have to grow up though. While he too says it doesn't change him, that's just blissful ignorance or denial. To be honest, I don't want anything to do with him, at all any more. I know family is family, but even I know I deserve better. The only reason he moved back in is that Mum feels obligated to take care of him still, and thanks to his attitude, he doesn't have anywhere else to go. At the moment, he's staying with a friend as we obviously asked him to leave. I'm struggling with the decision to take a stand with my mum, if the matter comes up again; I don't want to be pushy, but I feel like if she's going to cave again, I need to move out and live with some friends on campus.
Anyway, that's enough talking about me! I'm very sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you too. To think at 18 and 20, we've both gone through such different yet sort of similar things; hopefully, we don't start going grey! However, I think huge congratulations are in order for going clean! I'm very proud to see that you've decided that for yourself, and that you're going strong with quitting smoking too! Good luck, and you might want to check your email too.
Also, an update on Mr Kellycot1, as I shall call him here because it makes me smile: he got hives from the antibiotic drip, but they've put him on an allergy medication now, so he's adorably sleepy. Hopefully, he can rest up today in hospital and will be all good to go home tonight! *fingers crossed*
Thank you as well, to both Amba and Mischief, for the wonderful offers of private emails. At the moment, I'm phoneless (another silly thing that went wrong a week ago), so I'm probably best communicating on the forums, since I've got to be on my computer anyway. I'll add my email to My Page though, so that you may contact me that way if you feel like a private chat.
My love and best wishes to you all, as I'm now going to go pass out!
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
As Amba said, depression is a hard thing. While I've been there myself, I didn't have the support at the time of friends and family who understood or were even willing to acknowledge there was anything wrong in the first place; your friend is very, very lucky to have you and your support. I would, however, recommend you give him some space; if he doesn't acknowledge he's got a problem, any type of 'pestering' will likely upset him.
So, firstly, I would try to think about triggers. Not everyone has them, or at least they're not always very tangible or obvious, but it's a good place to start. If it was something like a break-up, you might need to help with gradual steps towards starting fresh and new dating; if it was a loss, then helping him to grieve and accept is important; if it's because he doesn't have a job and feels unproductive, the key is working there.
To be honest, I think the productivity is a great place to start, as it'll probably make him feel better and pull him out of the funk. It's no easy task, obviously; everyone is different, so it might take a few goes. But, maybe, try to start with something simple: in a fairly innocuous way, set him a task of the day. Since he's the 'least productive', with no job, try to organise it so he has to pick up the slack around the house; though keep them light at first so they're manageable, give him a few very specific duties to fulfill, and make it clear that these are achievements, somehow. If you have an attic full of stuff, tell him to clean it out bit by bit. On the other hand, to get him out of the house, make him shop for groceries. Something simple like that could be good.
Here's also another task you could try to set him, though it might be harder to cover up a 'purpose' for this: make him, in some way, take note of one thing everyday that he is grateful for. It'll take up a little but not a lot of time, and be a great thing for him to look forward to if he gets into it. It also would serve to scrapbook his 'productivity' in a way; maybe instead of just things he's grateful for, it could be a thing every day that he is proud of having done. The idea is kind of taken from a thing I saw on TV (they're making a movie/documentary about this girl who did it through photography) -- more about that project here for some inspiration: http://365grateful.com/original-365-project
I hope you're able to help your friend. These things do pass though, so it might just be a matter of patience as well. Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your friend.
Now I'm really going to go to bed.
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
Firstly, wow! Thank you so much for that ray of light! Such a poetic and thoughtful gift, but you really didn't have to! Of course, it did make me smile really big, so I guess you served your purpose there! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
But you are so right, in so many ways. Of course you won't be judged here for your past, at least not by me. I'm 18 now, and have managed to stay away from drugs of all kinds, but that's only because I was SO young when I learned some rather hard truths about it. In fact, that is usually my 'silver lining' for all of what I've been through; though I've more than suffered at times, it kept me on a clean path, and that's something I'd like to think I can be proud of.
As you said, it definitely affects people differently. I suppose there are some fairly common effects, like the trouble with getting motivated as you said, but some people think they're fine with it and good for them. Having seen countless cases, I'm quite the skeptic when people try to say it doesn't change them or effect them, generally they need to be looking more at their family and friends for what it does to those people, but I'm not here to judge anyone. People use for different reasons and it's not business of mine to de-legitimise those reasons for them.
Dad definitely does have to grow up though. While he too says it doesn't change him, that's just blissful ignorance or denial. To be honest, I don't want anything to do with him, at all any more. I know family is family, but even I know I deserve better. The only reason he moved back in is that Mum feels obligated to take care of him still, and thanks to his attitude, he doesn't have anywhere else to go. At the moment, he's staying with a friend as we obviously asked him to leave. I'm struggling with the decision to take a stand with my mum, if the matter comes up again; I don't want to be pushy, but I feel like if she's going to cave again, I need to move out and live with some friends on campus.
Anyway, that's enough talking about me! I'm very sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you too. To think at 18 and 20, we've both gone through such different yet sort of similar things; hopefully, we don't start going grey! However, I think huge congratulations are in order for going clean! I'm very proud to see that you've decided that for yourself, and that you're going strong with quitting smoking too! Good luck, and you might want to check your email too.
Also, an update on Mr Kellycot1, as I shall call him here because it makes me smile: he got hives from the antibiotic drip, but they've put him on an allergy medication now, so he's adorably sleepy. Hopefully, he can rest up today in hospital and will be all good to go home tonight! *fingers crossed*
Thank you as well, to both Amba and Mischief, for the wonderful offers of private emails. At the moment, I'm phoneless (another silly thing that went wrong a week ago), so I'm probably best communicating on the forums, since I've got to be on my computer anyway. I'll add my email to My Page though, so that you may contact me that way if you feel like a private chat.
My love and best wishes to you all, as I'm now going to go pass out!
No worries about the gift I thought it seemed perfect and glad you liked it and it made you smile which is the main thing! Also thankyou for the lovely gift too, I don't gift to be gifted but I appreciate it and it did make me smile
All I'm going to say now about the situation is be completely honest with your mum, Not in a pushy way but just so she knows how you feel on the situation. It's your home aswell as hers and it's not fair to be pushed out.
And thats fine feel free to post on my mypage or through email, I'm glad to have you as a lovely new friend
Back after a 5year break away. I mainly build. I don't use CC just 'moveobjects'.
Was mainly known on the good old sims 3 forums.
Depression is a hard thing. There's not much you can really DO apart from be there for him, give him some space but let him know he's got someone to turn to. Tell him you're worried about his well being and how it's effecting others around him (I know it seems harsh but sometimes people need it to realize) and try to prove how much he has changed.
I've been through depression and it took until I ended up in hospital with my nan crying by my side for me to realize and I will never get that image out my head.
Is there anything significant that's changed that could have triggered the depression?
I'm aware that there's not much I personally can do -- I suffer from clinical depression, whereas my friend has simply fallen into an incredibly deep rut. (By which statement I do not mean to trivialize what he;s going through, but rather clarify the circumstances.) But I do know that I wouldn't be where I am now if someone hadn't been looking out for me, and I just hope I can do the same for him. We have tried informing him of our concern and asking him what's wrong and how we can help, but he maintains (even while in the obvious throes of languor) that nothing is wrong, even when we point out the changes to him. I've spoken to other about this, and I'm not the only one noticing the difference in his behavior and general well-being. And yes, there are a few things -- his mother is being. . . difficult. I'm not entirely sure that she ever loved him, and given that she recently disowned him, it's not hard to guess where these feelings are coming from. Problem is, talking about it only makes it worse, and we've tried multiple approaches.
As Amba said, depression is a hard thing. While I've been there myself, I didn't have the support at the time of friends and family who understood or were even willing to acknowledge there was anything wrong in the first place; your friend is very, very lucky to have you and your support. I would, however, recommend you give him some space; if he doesn't acknowledge he's got a problem, any type of 'pestering' will likely upset him.
So, firstly, I would try to think about triggers. Not everyone has them, or at least they're not always very tangible or obvious, but it's a good place to start. If it was something like a break-up, you might need to help with gradual steps towards starting fresh and new dating; if it was a loss, then helping him to grieve and accept is important; if it's because he doesn't have a job and feels unproductive, the key is working there.
To be honest, I think the productivity is a great place to start, as it'll probably make him feel better and pull him out of the funk. It's no easy task, obviously; everyone is different, so it might take a few goes. But, maybe, try to start with something simple: in a fairly innocuous way, set him a task of the day. Since he's the 'least productive', with no job, try to organise it so he has to pick up the slack around the house; though keep them light at first so they're manageable, give him a few very specific duties to fulfill, and make it clear that these are achievements, somehow. If you have an attic full of stuff, tell him to clean it out bit by bit. On the other hand, to get him out of the house, make him shop for groceries. Something simple like that could be good.
Here's also another task you could try to set him, though it might be harder to cover up a 'purpose' for this: make him, in some way, take note of one thing everyday that he is grateful for. It'll take up a little but not a lot of time, and be a great thing for him to look forward to if he gets into it. It also would serve to scrapbook his 'productivity' in a way; maybe instead of just things he's grateful for, it could be a thing every day that he is proud of having done. The idea is kind of taken from a thing I saw on TV (they're making a movie/documentary about this girl who did it through photography) -- more about that project here for some inspiration: http://365grateful.com/original-365-project
I hope you're able to help your friend. These things do pass though, so it might just be a matter of patience as well. Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your friend.
Now I'm really going to go to bed.
We have tried leaving him alone, but that only causes him to wallow in his own misery. It's been two months -- giving him space doesn't seem to be the answer. And I've tried taking triggers into consideration. he clearly has them, but he seems to be getting angry or upset over seemingly random things. Things that made him laugh before now cause him to sulk. Things that merely irritated him before now enrage him. I can't figure out what's making him react in these ways, or indeed when and if he'll react that way. he's had multiple job interviews, but none of them have panned out, and that only makes him feel less productive. We've tried suggesting projects or chores to occupy his time and make him feel useful, but he rejects them all apathetically. We've even tried pointing out things that are good in his life -- his girlfriend, for example -- but that only seems to make him less happy. We know he's crazy about her, but lately, counting his blessings just seems to make him realize how 'few' there are. I think doing that just highlights his depression to him.
I'm sorry to hear your Dad has put you and your family through so many bad times. There isn't much I can offer since in this case, he's the one who needs to realise that he needs to do something. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, it's not that easy to just stop doing drugs. I've never taken any myself but I know enough to know that you don't just stop when you decide that you should. It sounds like you and your family have already tried a number of things, so I have to agree with Amba and say he needs to grow up.
For now, hang on in there. At least he doesn't resort to physical violence very often, but it's horrible that your arm was broken! Does it hurt a lot now or can you keep the pain down?
I'm happy to hear that we managed to make you smile Just like it makes your day to comfort others it makes mine, too
And you're most welcome - my boyfriend and I met online in a chat forum and eventually managed t meet up once a month, roughly. Fortunately I was at an age where it was farly easy for me to move so once I was 18 I applied to college here and moved in with him That was roughly 5 1/2 years ago
You can call me Mischief by the way, that's what my readers and friends on here usually do
I'm happy to hear that Mr Kellycot is doing better!
You say that by 20 years is a long time! Not compared to people who live to be 100 maybe, but it's enough to have had your fair share of suffering, especially with your teenage years just behind you (for the future, though, I'm pretty sure it's against the forum rules to post your age so openly It's fine on your page, as far as I know, just not on here )
Go you for not having smoked in 4 months already!!!
I agree with Amba, there's not much you can do I'm afraid. Depression is not without reason one of the most difficult psychological issues you can have. I know you want to pull your friend out of it, but he's convinced himself that nothing's changed and that there's no point to changing anything. Don't try to force him, just be there for him. I know it might not seem like you're doing enough, but just reminding him that you care and that you're there when he decides to opens up can do a lot for him right now. Just be a friend. You being there for him and showing him that you love him anyway can make a massive difference.
All the best to your friend. Keep us updated on how he's doing, please, it'd be good to know that's doing better
(It might be that it's really just as small as something being on his mind and he's not ready to talk to you guys about it just yet. He might just need to come to terms with it himself first, so for now, just be patient.)
The idea is kind of taken from a thing I saw on TV (they're making a movie/documentary about this girl who did it through photography)
FairyBug, I don't know why I didn't think of that, I'm writing my essay on this -.- As it turns out doing photography is immensely therapeutic, and it might help him find a way to communicate to you. It's actually become a very common thing for people to do to help themselves, have a look at this blog already: http://brokenlightcollective.wordpress.com/
Is there anything significant that's changed that could have triggered the depression?[/b][/i][/color]
I second that question. Has anything changed for him lately? Anything at all? It might be something that seems tiny and insignificant to you, so consider all the options when you think about it.
We have tried leaving him alone, but that only causes him to wallow in his own misery. It's been two months -- giving him space doesn't seem to be the answer. And I've tried taking triggers into consideration. he clearly has them, but he seems to be getting angry or upset over seemingly random things. Things that made him laugh before now cause him to sulk. Things that merely irritated him before now enrage him. I can't figure out what's making him react in these ways, or indeed when and if he'll react that way. he's had multiple job interviews, but none of them have panned out, and that only makes him feel less productive. We've tried suggesting projects or chores to occupy his time and make him feel useful, but he rejects them all apathetically. We've even tried pointing out things that are good in his life -- his girlfriend, for example -- but that only seems to make him less happy. We know he's crazy about her, but lately, counting his blessings just seems to make him realize how 'few' there are. I think doing that just highlights his depression to him.
I was in a similar situation to him over a year ago, and for me things didn't really start to clear up until I had a job (one that was in the field I was educated in). However, there are a few things that will help him. I don't know what your/his living situation is, so I don't know how much you will be able to enact this.
Firstly, if he feels that he is unproductive, then he will have to do two things to earn his room & board in the house: Exercise and a schedule. I don't actually believe that people need to earn their keep, but phrasing it this way may force him to participate out of obligation (the only thing that would get me to participate). He must exercise three times a week (30 minutes to an hour) and he must go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Once he has those down, you can add on to it: Take a shower, make his bed, do certain chores, etc. In fact, something you could start right away would be making dinner. If the only way anyone in the house gets to eat is if he makes dinner, he might be forced to leave his room, learn something, challenge himself, and feel productive.
A schedule and exercise make a world of difference, believe it or not. My doctor said that if I wasn't going to take medication for my mental disorder, I had to exercise three times a week and I had to get enough sleep. Also, getting to bed on time/early means more than sleeping in. Sleeping in and naps do not make up for sleep lost by staying up late.
The arm isn't painful for me at the moment, thought it was at first. Right now, I'm just cranky that it's like a useless little T-Rex arm! :P
Also, Mr Kellycot is home safely now. They still haven't quite figured out the cause of it all, but decided the most proactive solution was to treat it as another MRSA infection. They've had to install a central line IV, since he needs to be on IV anti-biotics for a little while; that's scary, but he should even be able to work for some if not all of the healing time. The swelling has gone down a lot, so he's feeling much better, if not a little out of it for the allergy meds they've had to put him on too. It's still not an ideal outcome, but I'm so relieved I could sing!
To TheFairyBug, I don't think there's much else but the advice you've gotten here; it truly is up to him to recognise the change and it's hard to treat otherwise. When I said space, I meant more so being careful not to vocalise the same concerns, or seem like you're repeating yourself. If he's reacting quite badly to that, it is probably only making him feel worse as he might be trying 100% to act normal for the rest of you. I obviously don't know for sure, but that sense of 'failure' seems to be a recurring problem, as I've found it quite often is with depression and ruts.
In that spirit, my last recommendation is to actually have him avoid things he will fail; until he's out of the funk, job interviews probably won't go all that well and obviously that's making him feel worse. So, I think it comes down to somehow making small accomplishments. For me, this was also the case, and I turned to house chores and even my hobbies; I wouldn't just play Sims, but I would write down a small task I wanted to do in it and made sure to accomplish. That way, at the end of the day, I had a list of ten or so small things (and these would even include breakfast, brush teeth, shower) that I could see I accomplished. As Steinkauzchen said, exercise and waking up early are key to feeling good, so I think the exercise and schedule ways to earn his 'keep' are a good way to motivate some action.
As for counting small blessings, if this is a path you're interested in, make sure he does focus on just ONE thing. ONE. Each day. Any more and the days where there are less will feel bad. Obviously it's hard for YOU to be doing this, but try to get him to focus on a very specific event; don't just have him appreciate his girlfriend, have him appreciate that she gave him the last slice of pizza, or that you're a good roommate because you did his laundry. Whatever it is, those appreciation moments I think work better as a very small, specific thing that's easy to overlook; one each day isn't a big task but can do, in some people (myself included), a world of difference. Photography, as Mischief said, is a therapeutic way to do this, but it could be anything; if he likes painting or sketching, he could do that. If he prefers writing, he could keep a one sentence (or paragraph, page, whatever) per day 'journal'. Similarly, if he needs to feel productive, maybe try setting the task of learning new things; either a new thing everyday (like if he plays guitar, a new chord or a new verse of a song), or he could learn to make dinner, as Steinkauzchen mentioned.
Again, good luck and best wishes.
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I could really use some cheering up. My cat just past away this morning. I miss her and won't be able to hear her purr any more. Seems like there has been a lot of deaths this year for me. My rabbit at the end of december last year, one of my cousin kid's committed suicide in march, my grandma in june, and now my cat. Being in pain that last few days hasn't helped either.
Store owner since 4/11/15.
I hope everybody has a wonderful day. Aka: Jennifer
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I've been there too in recent years, so I understand how hard it is. Cats are such good comfort creatures, just with the way they purr and keep such good company (as long as they're being nice, anyway).
There isn't a lot I can say about your situation, except that I'm here for you and support you. I may not be the oldest or wisest person around, but it's a sad truth that death does seem to come in these waves; in recent years, it's been childhood pets and grandparents for me, while maybe five years ago, I too felt like I was going through a wave of family and friend suicides. It's never, ever easy, but I hope you can find a nice place in your heart to remember your cat, as well as your other loved ones.
It's probably not much help, but time will do its thing eventually. If you're feeling especially down, it might be good to do something positive out of respect for each of your loved ones, cat and rabbit included. Maybe take a day or set some time aside to just stop, reflect with a diary or maybe print photos of your loved ones. For me, that's what helped. I had a bunch of old, unused photo frames, so I printed out some beautiful photos and arranged them in a special place in my living room; that way, they're always with me for comfort, but since they're all together, I can avoid them on especially sensitive days.
After that, I would try not to dwell too much. It's best, for me anyway (I definitely can't speak for others, since everyone is so different), to have that time for grief, then keep busy.
I hope things get better for you soon. From what you said, it sounds like you've been having physical pain troubles too, so I hope you're healthier (and happier) soon. My thoughts are with you.
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I could really use some cheering up. My cat just past away this morning. I miss her and won't be able to hear her purr any more. Seems like there has been a lot of deaths this year for me. My rabbit at the end of december last year, one of my cousin kid's committed suicide in march, my grandma in june, and now my cat. Being in pain that last few days hasn't helped either.
I'm really sorry about your cat As someone who has grown up with pets being around constantly I know how hard it can be when they die *hug* What was your cat's name? How old was the pretty girl?
I could really use some cheering up. My cat just past away this morning. I miss her and won't be able to hear her purr any more. Seems like there has been a lot of deaths this year for me. My rabbit at the end of december last year, one of my cousin kid's committed suicide in march, my grandma in june, and now my cat. Being in pain that last few days hasn't helped either.
I'm really sorry about your cat As someone who has grown up with pets being around constantly I know how hard it can be when they die *hug* What was your cat's name? How old was the pretty girl?
~MischiefTheKitten
Thank you kellycot1 and ShaliANel for your support. I have and had a lot of pets over the years. It's hard when one dies. I'm not sure on exactly how old she was. I think 17 or 18 years old. Her name was lizzy.
Store owner since 4/11/15.
I hope everybody has a wonderful day. Aka: Jennifer
Okay, so I'm a Junior in High School and not only do I have the stress of maintaining A's in 3 Advanced Placement Classes, but I also have a mom who's regularly in the hospital because she has a rare disease. I'm not trying to sound whiny, but this all put together really sucks and it honestly feels like everything's falling down. I recently started a Simself save file of my parents, dogs, and I in order to kind of live a 2nd life, plus I also have all of my other save files to help me escape into different lives for a bit. I'm also pushing through and have just found that my mom's disease is genetic, BUT my dad doesn't have the mutated gene therefore I can't get the disease, which really helped me feel a bit better. The idea of a venting/cheer up thread is awesome, and I really do feel welcome here thanks to this.
So, is this open to anybody? Reading through it (not ALL seventy some pages, just first, last, and a few others at random) you all seem so incredibly nice but you also get pretty personal, so I was just wondering if newcomers are supposed to be on here or if it's just a thread for your circle of friends. I don't want to poke my nose in where it shouldn't be. :oops: I guess it's fairly obvious that I'm uber shy. I've played sims3 since it was first released but didn't participate in the online community til now bc my old laptop was, basically, junk. lol Now I'm afraid I waited too long bc reading through a lot of the "hottest topics" threads has given me the impression that, with the release of sims4, this site will become obsolete. Still, I'm wanting to make friends on here and this particular thread seems so accepting so I'm *takes a deep breath* putting myself out there. *exhales* :shock:
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
I can relate so much to this! I've just finished my second year of university, but since my earliest days of primary school (or elementary), I've tried to be superwoman at school. I was fortunate not to have much illness in my family, but really struggled at times to keep up the A grades for different reasons. I understand it's hard, but I have to congratulate you for how positively you're trying to cope; I think escaping into Sims is a wonderful idea, and something I myself do a lot. Even when I don't have time to sit down and play (which happens when study loads get full), I make the time to come on here. That's actually how I found this thread in the first place.
Coming from me, who had a huge meltdown last semester when my flawless GPA dropped (ever so slightly), it may seem a little hypocritical, but TRY not to stress the grades too much; do your absolute best, of course, but the numbers/letters themselves aren't the end of the world. I managed to land in the top 0.5% of the state for all of my classes in high school(which is as high as they determine) and I didn't even get a university scholarship; I can't speak for your own area and situation, but these things do happen. I was so busy studying (and being uncoordinated) that I missed the chance to do a lot of extracurriculars, especially sport, which is what the universities were supposedly looking for. Now that I'm done with high school, those grades don't mean, well, anything -- it's still good to get great grades by working hard, but the tears I shed for the rare B+ or even A- (maybe once just an A, instead of A+) wasn't worth it. All of that stress just wreaked havoc on me.
Also, it's important to remember that there will, without a doubt, be rude teachers who just want to be difficult and teach you a lesson. Always, ALWAYS try to remember that to save some heartache in the future.
Anyway, I hope I wasn't trying to sound too wise there. I can just relate a lot to the school stress thing, and understand how impossible it becomes when other things get in the way. I know it's not much, but my thoughts are with you and I hope things get a little easier soon. Congratulations on being such a good student, and know that I'm here for you when it gets a little tough or scary.
Yes, this is absolutely open to anybody! I've only joined these last few pages and had never met anyone here before -- I didn't even know ANYONE on the boards, even though I've been lurking quite literally since the beginning of the Sims 3 (and Sims 2 too)! I too can understand your hesitation about joining in; I actually had this thread bookmarked for ages but couldn't bring myself to post, because I felt so odd posting personal things. But, a really bad day came and I had nobody to turn to... and realised that maybe what I needed was a little comfort from a bunch of friendly strangers, who couldn't really judge me or do much to make me feel any worse.
Since that (and since I realised I want to connect with people who actually enjoy my most obsessive hobby), I've been trying to fit in with the crowd more. I suppose one day this forum WILL become obsolete, but I know the Sims 2 website and boards stayed up for a few years after Sims 3 came out. At the very least, we should have until this time roughly next year (when Sims 4 is set to come out) to make some friends! Anyway, welcome and congratulations for being brave enough for making that step! *waves*
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
Thank you, kellycot1, for the welcome and reassurance! I feel like I've found a kind and comfortable niche for myself now that I'm "connected" to the online community. IRL I've been isolated from other people for a few years, with the exception of the wonderful family I live with, due to depression/anxiety, which led to self-medicating/abusing medications, ultimately resulting in hitting rock bottom and burning every bridge I'd ever had. (This is, of course, way oversimplifying everything, but I don't really want to go into detail and it'd fill a whole novel anyway) I'm lucky to still have the love/support of my immediate family, and now I'm gathering the courage to, well, start living an actual life again. When I read some of the brutally honest stories on this thread (some I could really relate to) and the motivational, caring responses, I was blown away and finally emboldened to speak up instead of just "lurking". Wow. I think I'm gonna like it here. :-)
Post edited by Unknown User on
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
hello fello simming friends
heres a little Cheer up Poem
Life may seem so tough right now
and it can get you down
but remember if you nee someone
I am always around
And as certain as the rising sun
will follow every moon
things will take a better turn
and your be happy again.
Smiling is infectious, you can catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today I started to smile too.
I walked around the corner and a stranger saw my little grin
and when he smiled i relised Id past it on to him.
I then realised that my little smile could travel .
so if you feel a smile come on
dont leave it undetected
smile at a stranger and we will create and epidemic that the world will all enjoy
take care and be happy
with hugs. Calmorezoo
PS
"Remember simming people are happy people"
AS you all may for may not know.
My life aint how they say a Bed of roses.
Its more like a bed of stinging nettles.
With all my medical issues and being wheelchair bound
Many in my RL say to me how is it that you always seem so Happy.
And I reply better to smile and put on a happy persona than wreck other peoples days by being bitter and twisted for the rest of my days.
So if I can do this then so can you!
I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, but I somehow managed to miss this -- I'm sorry you've been through so much, but I understand. I was fortunate to stay away from self-medicating (except maybe with video games and sleep), but I'm still experiencing those aftershocks of anxiety and depression. I'm mostly better now, though far from 'cured', but I lost a lot of friends through the ordeal. That said. I wouldn't want a single one of them back! There was never one cause for my depression (there never really is), but those no-gooders (the only polite word I could think of) certainly made me feel horrible about myself for just being me. Even so, I kind of cut myself off from people, I suppose to avoid the hassle of dealing with people like that and getting hurt (my life is far too busy to waste time on people like that), and I'm only now starting to come out of my shell, thanks to the forums. I've never felt so accepted in a community before! It's so wonderful; I can stay shy and hide away at my computer, but I know there are people out there who do care for me, at least a little bit, and appreciate what I have to say or if I do something to help someone out. I feel appreciated!
Thank you so much for the poem! I'm just about to print it out and put it beside my computer (maybe another copy by my bed too) for those bad days! I am sorry to hear that life's been so tough on you, but it's wonderful to see you still happy and optimistic. It's definitely encouraging and motivating to see other simmers out there so positive and uplifting! Thank you.
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
@kellycot1--It is pretty wonderful, isn't it, to be able to maintain some anonymity behind the computer screen? But at the same time we're free to reveal as much of ourselves as we're comfortable sharing, and we know we won't be judged. I'm so glad you feel like you're getting better in regards to depression/anxiety. I'm at that spot too right now and joining these forums has had more than a little to do with it. Also, you could have been reading my mind when you said:
"I wouldn't want a single one of them back! There was never one cause for my depression (there never really is), but those no-gooders (the only polite word I could think of) certainly made me feel horrible about myself for just being me"
Along those lines, here's one of my favorite quotes:
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as *heck* don't deserve me at my best."
--Marilyn Monroe, rip
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
Kellycot1, glad you like the two poems and that they will help to keep you positive.
I know how RL can seem so tuff and pointless. But Please dont let the stresses of everyday life destroy your hopes dreams and loves.
I in my work as a trained coucillor and a psychologist and see far to many younge people worring and stressed about none important and trival everyday things, wasting their lives on image issues or petty bickering between piers.
And then you get the ones that are just craving attention (Me Me's} Believe me Ive seen so many on this forum that tell so many stories they end up backing them selves into awkward situations. Then get all ancey and emtional when they are found out for the truth of what they are.
so I would say to becareful who you feel for pitty or try to help.
As it could back fire on you.
Dont get me wrong, what you have done by setting up or getting involved in this thread is a wonderful and caring thing to do.
Its just that some will take advantage of this for their own attention seeking ways and may try to manipulate you to brush their ego's. Which is both wrong and cruel.
Take care, smile and try to laugh a little every day.
I'm glad to hear we're both bouncing back. I really am sorry for what you've been through, but it's nice to hear that someone else is in a similar place to where I am. Baby steps, but I'm amazed at how much one post, and then another, and then another, has helped me feel more connected to the world and other people again. The anonymity does feel good, although I suppose it's scary as well in that people CAN take advantage of that -- so often, people will use that as a tool for evil, rather than good. But I'd like to think here there's a nice little community where I can be myself completely, down to the brutal truth behind some personal problems I've had, and know that I'm being accepted by others in similar boats with open arms and nothing but love and warmth. I feel like we're some kind of AA group here, only more like Personal Issues Anonymous, or something. I'll have to come up with a catchier group title. Anyway, that Marilyn Monroe quote is such a classic!
Thank you very much for your advice and support. You're absolutely right about needing to be careful about the 'Me Me' people; I've seen a lot of them in my time here too, but I've always tried my hardest to avoid entering their little bubbles. That said, they can be a sneaky bunch, and surprise you when you least expect it! I've probably gotten a bit more lax lately, because I have met just SO many nice simmers recently, but I really do appreciate your warning -- it's a good, positive reminder to keep my guard up, especially with the draw-everyone-in sales coming up! There's always so many beggers around this time, and some can be quite convincing or moving.
Smiles and hugs for all you wonderful simmers!
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I'm not sure if everyone is allowed to post here but I'm kinda sad.
My mom and I spent hours cooking Thanksgiving dinner and my father comes in and starts yelling and screaming at everyone. He ruined the holiday for me over something that wasn't that big of a deal. So I just feel really upset and stuff.
I'm so sorry he ruined your holiday. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, but from what my boyfriend tells me, it's a pretty big deal, so I'm really sorry that happened to you.
As much as I hate to say it though, I think that's just one of those things about holidays -- they may bring families together, but usually at the expense of making everyone a little cranky and upset. I'm personally a Christmas girl. Every year I spend Christmas Eve finalising decorations and food with my mum, doing last minute shopping, and getting everything absolutely perfect for Christmas. Since I was little, it's been a ritual to wake up and start opening presents at exactly 6am. I don't know why, but that's what my brother and I did when we were little. It was always such a fond memory, waiting for that moment we were finally allowed to open things. But, unfortunately, as I've gotten older, I've become the only person in my family who really cares -- my mum will go along with it all for my sake, but for the last few years, it's just been Mum and I on Christmas morning. More than a few times, as well, my dad has sulked and screamed his way through Christmas, complaining about the most mundane things -- like how us waking up early ruined HIS holiday and that we're such selfish, horrible people (for, essentially, enjoying the celebrations).
I don't know what the fight was about in your family, but it's probably just a case of the holiday crankies. Regardless, however, try to keep in mind the good things about the day, as hard as it must be -- you got to spend quality time with your mother, right? Did you still get to eat yummy food?
Know that you have every right to feel upset about the holiday being ruined, but maybe try to think about those little good things, or relive past Thanksgiving memories that were less disappointing. Again, I'm really sorry for what you went through. It hurts me so bad every time a special occasion like that, one that I work really hard to make 'perfect', goes awry, so I definitely understand. Just know that I'm here to support you, and I'm thinking about you in your time of need.
Now, if you're up for a kind of funny thing that might cheer you up a little, here's a clip from the TV show Friends about another Thanksgiving going wrong: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9EFYnOSCjE
a.k.a. Erin
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I'm not sure if everyone is allowed to post here but I'm kinda sad.
My mom and I spent hours cooking Thanksgiving dinner and my father comes in and starts yelling and screaming at everyone. He ruined the holiday for me over something that wasn't that big of a deal. So I just feel really upset and stuff.
Sorry to hear this , my father is also a grumpy old man when it come near to holidays.
so I know what your going through.
but my grumpy is ill at the moment and has now gone back into hospital for more treatment.
Thankfully should still be in for christmas day Hope fully.LOL
Comments
EDIT: We've tried talking to him about it, but he insists that there's been no change in his behavior and that there's nothing wrong with him. Whether he realizes it or not, he's lost all of his passion for life. He just sits around all day, doing practically nothing. It's actually getting depressing just to watch him continue doing this to himself.
Depression is a hard thing. There's not much you can really DO apart from be there for him, give him some space but let him know he's got someone to turn to. Tell him you're worried about his well being and how it's effecting others around him (I know it seems harsh but sometimes people need it to realize) and try to prove how much he has changed.
I've been through depression and it took until I ended up in hospital with my nan crying by my side for me to realize and I will never get that image out my head.
Is there anything significant that's changed that could have triggered the depression?
I mainly build. I don't use CC just 'moveobjects'.
Was mainly known on the good old sims 3 forums.
But you are so right, in so many ways. Of course you won't be judged here for your past, at least not by me. I'm 18 now, and have managed to stay away from drugs of all kinds, but that's only because I was SO young when I learned some rather hard truths about it. In fact, that is usually my 'silver lining' for all of what I've been through; though I've more than suffered at times, it kept me on a clean path, and that's something I'd like to think I can be proud of.
As you said, it definitely affects people differently. I suppose there are some fairly common effects, like the trouble with getting motivated as you said, but some people think they're fine with it and good for them. Having seen countless cases, I'm quite the skeptic when people try to say it doesn't change them or effect them, generally they need to be looking more at their family and friends for what it does to those people, but I'm not here to judge anyone. People use for different reasons and it's not business of mine to de-legitimise those reasons for them.
Dad definitely does have to grow up though. While he too says it doesn't change him, that's just blissful ignorance or denial. To be honest, I don't want anything to do with him, at all any more. I know family is family, but even I know I deserve better. The only reason he moved back in is that Mum feels obligated to take care of him still, and thanks to his attitude, he doesn't have anywhere else to go. At the moment, he's staying with a friend as we obviously asked him to leave. I'm struggling with the decision to take a stand with my mum, if the matter comes up again; I don't want to be pushy, but I feel like if she's going to cave again, I need to move out and live with some friends on campus.
Anyway, that's enough talking about me! I'm very sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you too. To think at 18 and 20, we've both gone through such different yet sort of similar things; hopefully, we don't start going grey! However, I think huge congratulations are in order for going clean! I'm very proud to see that you've decided that for yourself, and that you're going strong with quitting smoking too! Good luck, and you might want to check your email too.
Also, an update on Mr Kellycot1, as I shall call him here because it makes me smile: he got hives from the antibiotic drip, but they've put him on an allergy medication now, so he's adorably sleepy. Hopefully, he can rest up today in hospital and will be all good to go home tonight! *fingers crossed*
Thank you as well, to both Amba and Mischief, for the wonderful offers of private emails. At the moment, I'm phoneless (another silly thing that went wrong a week ago), so I'm probably best communicating on the forums, since I've got to be on my computer anyway. I'll add my email to My Page though, so that you may contact me that way if you feel like a private chat.
My love and best wishes to you all, as I'm now going to go pass out!
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
So, firstly, I would try to think about triggers. Not everyone has them, or at least they're not always very tangible or obvious, but it's a good place to start. If it was something like a break-up, you might need to help with gradual steps towards starting fresh and new dating; if it was a loss, then helping him to grieve and accept is important; if it's because he doesn't have a job and feels unproductive, the key is working there.
To be honest, I think the productivity is a great place to start, as it'll probably make him feel better and pull him out of the funk. It's no easy task, obviously; everyone is different, so it might take a few goes. But, maybe, try to start with something simple: in a fairly innocuous way, set him a task of the day. Since he's the 'least productive', with no job, try to organise it so he has to pick up the slack around the house; though keep them light at first so they're manageable, give him a few very specific duties to fulfill, and make it clear that these are achievements, somehow. If you have an attic full of stuff, tell him to clean it out bit by bit. On the other hand, to get him out of the house, make him shop for groceries. Something simple like that could be good.
Here's also another task you could try to set him, though it might be harder to cover up a 'purpose' for this: make him, in some way, take note of one thing everyday that he is grateful for. It'll take up a little but not a lot of time, and be a great thing for him to look forward to if he gets into it. It also would serve to scrapbook his 'productivity' in a way; maybe instead of just things he's grateful for, it could be a thing every day that he is proud of having done. The idea is kind of taken from a thing I saw on TV (they're making a movie/documentary about this girl who did it through photography) -- more about that project here for some inspiration: http://365grateful.com/original-365-project
I hope you're able to help your friend. These things do pass though, so it might just be a matter of patience as well. Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your friend.
Now I'm really going to go to bed.
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
No worries about the gift I thought it seemed perfect and glad you liked it and it made you smile which is the main thing! Also thankyou for the lovely gift too, I don't gift to be gifted but I appreciate it and it did make me smile
All I'm going to say now about the situation is be completely honest with your mum, Not in a pushy way but just so she knows how you feel on the situation. It's your home aswell as hers and it's not fair to be pushed out.
And thats fine feel free to post on my mypage or through email, I'm glad to have you as a lovely new friend
I mainly build. I don't use CC just 'moveobjects'.
Was mainly known on the good old sims 3 forums.
We have tried leaving him alone, but that only causes him to wallow in his own misery. It's been two months -- giving him space doesn't seem to be the answer. And I've tried taking triggers into consideration. he clearly has them, but he seems to be getting angry or upset over seemingly random things. Things that made him laugh before now cause him to sulk. Things that merely irritated him before now enrage him. I can't figure out what's making him react in these ways, or indeed when and if he'll react that way. he's had multiple job interviews, but none of them have panned out, and that only makes him feel less productive. We've tried suggesting projects or chores to occupy his time and make him feel useful, but he rejects them all apathetically. We've even tried pointing out things that are good in his life -- his girlfriend, for example -- but that only seems to make him less happy. We know he's crazy about her, but lately, counting his blessings just seems to make him realize how 'few' there are. I think doing that just highlights his depression to him.
I'm sorry to hear your Dad has put you and your family through so many bad times. There isn't much I can offer since in this case, he's the one who needs to realise that he needs to do something. Unfortunately, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, it's not that easy to just stop doing drugs. I've never taken any myself but I know enough to know that you don't just stop when you decide that you should. It sounds like you and your family have already tried a number of things, so I have to agree with Amba and say he needs to grow up.
For now, hang on in there. At least he doesn't resort to physical violence very often, but it's horrible that your arm was broken! Does it hurt a lot now or can you keep the pain down?
I'm happy to hear that we managed to make you smile
And you're most welcome - my boyfriend and I met online in a chat forum and eventually managed t meet up once a month, roughly. Fortunately I was at an age where it was farly easy for me to move so once I was 18 I applied to college here and moved in with him
You can call me Mischief by the way, that's what my readers and friends on here usually do
I'm happy to hear that Mr Kellycot is doing better!
You say that by 20 years is a long time! Not compared to people who live to be 100 maybe, but it's enough to have had your fair share of suffering, especially with your teenage years just behind you (for the future, though, I'm pretty sure it's against the forum rules to post your age so openly
Go you for not having smoked in 4 months already!!!
Hi FairyBug
I agree with Amba, there's not much you can do I'm afraid. Depression is not without reason one of the most difficult psychological issues you can have. I know you want to pull your friend out of it, but he's convinced himself that nothing's changed and that there's no point to changing anything. Don't try to force him, just be there for him. I know it might not seem like you're doing enough, but just reminding him that you care and that you're there when he decides to opens up can do a lot for him right now. Just be a friend. You being there for him and showing him that you love him anyway can make a massive difference.
All the best to your friend. Keep us updated on how he's doing, please, it'd be good to know that's doing better
(It might be that it's really just as small as something being on his mind and he's not ready to talk to you guys about it just yet. He might just need to come to terms with it himself first, so for now, just be patient.)
FairyBug, I don't know why I didn't think of that, I'm writing my essay on this -.- As it turns out doing photography is immensely therapeutic, and it might help him find a way to communicate to you. It's actually become a very common thing for people to do to help themselves, have a look at this blog already: http://brokenlightcollective.wordpress.com/
I second that question. Has anything changed for him lately? Anything at all? It might be something that seems tiny and insignificant to you, so consider all the options when you think about it.
I was in a similar situation to him over a year ago, and for me things didn't really start to clear up until I had a job (one that was in the field I was educated in). However, there are a few things that will help him. I don't know what your/his living situation is, so I don't know how much you will be able to enact this.
Firstly, if he feels that he is unproductive, then he will have to do two things to earn his room & board in the house: Exercise and a schedule. I don't actually believe that people need to earn their keep, but phrasing it this way may force him to participate out of obligation (the only thing that would get me to participate). He must exercise three times a week (30 minutes to an hour) and he must go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Once he has those down, you can add on to it: Take a shower, make his bed, do certain chores, etc. In fact, something you could start right away would be making dinner. If the only way anyone in the house gets to eat is if he makes dinner, he might be forced to leave his room, learn something, challenge himself, and feel productive.
A schedule and exercise make a world of difference, believe it or not. My doctor said that if I wasn't going to take medication for my mental disorder, I had to exercise three times a week and I had to get enough sleep. Also, getting to bed on time/early means more than sleeping in. Sleeping in and naps do not make up for sleep lost by staying up late.
The arm isn't painful for me at the moment, thought it was at first. Right now, I'm just cranky that it's like a useless little T-Rex arm! :P
Also, Mr Kellycot is home safely now. They still haven't quite figured out the cause of it all, but decided the most proactive solution was to treat it as another MRSA infection. They've had to install a central line IV, since he needs to be on IV anti-biotics for a little while; that's scary, but he should even be able to work for some if not all of the healing time. The swelling has gone down a lot, so he's feeling much better, if not a little out of it for the allergy meds they've had to put him on too. It's still not an ideal outcome, but I'm so relieved I could sing!
To TheFairyBug, I don't think there's much else but the advice you've gotten here; it truly is up to him to recognise the change and it's hard to treat otherwise. When I said space, I meant more so being careful not to vocalise the same concerns, or seem like you're repeating yourself. If he's reacting quite badly to that, it is probably only making him feel worse as he might be trying 100% to act normal for the rest of you. I obviously don't know for sure, but that sense of 'failure' seems to be a recurring problem, as I've found it quite often is with depression and ruts.
In that spirit, my last recommendation is to actually have him avoid things he will fail; until he's out of the funk, job interviews probably won't go all that well and obviously that's making him feel worse. So, I think it comes down to somehow making small accomplishments. For me, this was also the case, and I turned to house chores and even my hobbies; I wouldn't just play Sims, but I would write down a small task I wanted to do in it and made sure to accomplish. That way, at the end of the day, I had a list of ten or so small things (and these would even include breakfast, brush teeth, shower) that I could see I accomplished. As Steinkauzchen said, exercise and waking up early are key to feeling good, so I think the exercise and schedule ways to earn his 'keep' are a good way to motivate some action.
As for counting small blessings, if this is a path you're interested in, make sure he does focus on just ONE thing. ONE. Each day. Any more and the days where there are less will feel bad. Obviously it's hard for YOU to be doing this, but try to get him to focus on a very specific event; don't just have him appreciate his girlfriend, have him appreciate that she gave him the last slice of pizza, or that you're a good roommate because you did his laundry. Whatever it is, those appreciation moments I think work better as a very small, specific thing that's easy to overlook; one each day isn't a big task but can do, in some people (myself included), a world of difference. Photography, as Mischief said, is a therapeutic way to do this, but it could be anything; if he likes painting or sketching, he could do that. If he prefers writing, he could keep a one sentence (or paragraph, page, whatever) per day 'journal'. Similarly, if he needs to feel productive, maybe try setting the task of learning new things; either a new thing everyday (like if he plays guitar, a new chord or a new verse of a song), or he could learn to make dinner, as Steinkauzchen mentioned.
Again, good luck and best wishes.
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I hope everybody has a wonderful day. Aka: Jennifer
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There isn't a lot I can say about your situation, except that I'm here for you and support you. I may not be the oldest or wisest person around, but it's a sad truth that death does seem to come in these waves; in recent years, it's been childhood pets and grandparents for me, while maybe five years ago, I too felt like I was going through a wave of family and friend suicides. It's never, ever easy, but I hope you can find a nice place in your heart to remember your cat, as well as your other loved ones.
It's probably not much help, but time will do its thing eventually. If you're feeling especially down, it might be good to do something positive out of respect for each of your loved ones, cat and rabbit included. Maybe take a day or set some time aside to just stop, reflect with a diary or maybe print photos of your loved ones. For me, that's what helped. I had a bunch of old, unused photo frames, so I printed out some beautiful photos and arranged them in a special place in my living room; that way, they're always with me for comfort, but since they're all together, I can avoid them on especially sensitive days.
After that, I would try not to dwell too much. It's best, for me anyway (I definitely can't speak for others, since everyone is so different), to have that time for grief, then keep busy.
I hope things get better for you soon. From what you said, it sounds like you've been having physical pain troubles too, so I hope you're healthier (and happier) soon. My thoughts are with you.
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
I'm really sorry about your cat
~MischiefTheKitten
Thank you kellycot1 and ShaliANel for your support. I have and had a lot of pets over the years. It's hard when one dies. I'm not sure on exactly how old she was. I think 17 or 18 years old. Her name was lizzy.
I hope everybody has a wonderful day. Aka: Jennifer
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--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
Coming from me, who had a huge meltdown last semester when my flawless GPA dropped (ever so slightly), it may seem a little hypocritical, but TRY not to stress the grades too much; do your absolute best, of course, but the numbers/letters themselves aren't the end of the world. I managed to land in the top 0.5% of the state for all of my classes in high school(which is as high as they determine) and I didn't even get a university scholarship; I can't speak for your own area and situation, but these things do happen. I was so busy studying (and being uncoordinated) that I missed the chance to do a lot of extracurriculars, especially sport, which is what the universities were supposedly looking for. Now that I'm done with high school, those grades don't mean, well, anything -- it's still good to get great grades by working hard, but the tears I shed for the rare B+ or even A- (maybe once just an A, instead of A+) wasn't worth it. All of that stress just wreaked havoc on me.
Also, it's important to remember that there will, without a doubt, be rude teachers who just want to be difficult and teach you a lesson. Always, ALWAYS try to remember that to save some heartache in the future.
Anyway, I hope I wasn't trying to sound too wise there. I can just relate a lot to the school stress thing, and understand how impossible it becomes when other things get in the way. I know it's not much, but my thoughts are with you and I hope things get a little easier soon. Congratulations on being such a good student, and know that I'm here for you when it gets a little tough or scary.
Yes, this is absolutely open to anybody! I've only joined these last few pages and had never met anyone here before -- I didn't even know ANYONE on the boards, even though I've been lurking quite literally since the beginning of the Sims 3 (and Sims 2 too)! I too can understand your hesitation about joining in; I actually had this thread bookmarked for ages but couldn't bring myself to post, because I felt so odd posting personal things. But, a really bad day came and I had nobody to turn to... and realised that maybe what I needed was a little comfort from a bunch of friendly strangers, who couldn't really judge me or do much to make me feel any worse.
Since that (and since I realised I want to connect with people who actually enjoy my most obsessive hobby), I've been trying to fit in with the crowd more. I suppose one day this forum WILL become obsolete, but I know the Sims 2 website and boards stayed up for a few years after Sims 3 came out. At the very least, we should have until this time roughly next year (when Sims 4 is set to come out) to make some friends! Anyway, welcome and congratulations for being brave enough for making that step! *waves*
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--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
heres a little Cheer up Poem
Life may seem so tough right now
and it can get you down
but remember if you nee someone
I am always around
And as certain as the rising sun
will follow every moon
things will take a better turn
and your be happy again.
Smiling is infectious, you can catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today I started to smile too.
I walked around the corner and a stranger saw my little grin
and when he smiled i relised Id past it on to him.
I then realised that my little smile could travel .
so if you feel a smile come on
dont leave it undetected
smile at a stranger and we will create and epidemic that the world will all enjoy
take care and be happy
with hugs. Calmorezoo
PS
"Remember simming people are happy people"
AS you all may for may not know.
My life aint how they say a Bed of roses.
Its more like a bed of stinging nettles.
With all my medical issues and being wheelchair bound
Many in my RL say to me how is it that you always seem so Happy.
And I reply better to smile and put on a happy persona than wreck other peoples days by being bitter and twisted for the rest of my days.
So if I can do this then so can you!
Thank you so much for the poem! I'm just about to print it out and put it beside my computer (maybe another copy by my bed too) for those bad days! I am sorry to hear that life's been so tough on you, but it's wonderful to see you still happy and optimistic. It's definitely encouraging and motivating to see other simmers out there so positive and uplifting! Thank you.
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
"I wouldn't want a single one of them back! There was never one cause for my depression (there never really is), but those no-gooders (the only polite word I could think of) certainly made me feel horrible about myself for just being me"
Along those lines, here's one of my favorite quotes:
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as *heck* don't deserve me at my best."
--Marilyn Monroe, rip
--Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends.”
I know how RL can seem so tuff and pointless. But Please dont let the stresses of everyday life destroy your hopes dreams and loves.
I in my work as a trained coucillor and a psychologist and see far to many younge people worring and stressed about none important and trival everyday things, wasting their lives on image issues or petty bickering between piers.
And then you get the ones that are just craving attention (Me Me's} Believe me Ive seen so many on this forum that tell so many stories they end up backing them selves into awkward situations. Then get all ancey and emtional when they are found out for the truth of what they are.
so I would say to becareful who you feel for pitty or try to help.
As it could back fire on you.
Dont get me wrong, what you have done by setting up or getting involved in this thread is a wonderful and caring thing to do.
Its just that some will take advantage of this for their own attention seeking ways and may try to manipulate you to brush their ego's. Which is both wrong and cruel.
Take care, smile and try to laugh a little every day.
Thank you very much for your advice and support. You're absolutely right about needing to be careful about the 'Me Me' people; I've seen a lot of them in my time here too, but I've always tried my hardest to avoid entering their little bubbles. That said, they can be a sneaky bunch, and surprise you when you least expect it! I've probably gotten a bit more lax lately, because I have met just SO many nice simmers recently, but I really do appreciate your warning -- it's a good, positive reminder to keep my guard up, especially with the draw-everyone-in sales coming up! There's always so many beggers around this time, and some can be quite convincing or moving.
Smiles and hugs for all you wonderful simmers!
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
My mom and I spent hours cooking Thanksgiving dinner and my father comes in and starts yelling and screaming at everyone. He ruined the holiday for me over something that wasn't that big of a deal. So I just feel really upset and stuff.
As much as I hate to say it though, I think that's just one of those things about holidays -- they may bring families together, but usually at the expense of making everyone a little cranky and upset. I'm personally a Christmas girl. Every year I spend Christmas Eve finalising decorations and food with my mum, doing last minute shopping, and getting everything absolutely perfect for Christmas. Since I was little, it's been a ritual to wake up and start opening presents at exactly 6am. I don't know why, but that's what my brother and I did when we were little. It was always such a fond memory, waiting for that moment we were finally allowed to open things. But, unfortunately, as I've gotten older, I've become the only person in my family who really cares -- my mum will go along with it all for my sake, but for the last few years, it's just been Mum and I on Christmas morning. More than a few times, as well, my dad has sulked and screamed his way through Christmas, complaining about the most mundane things -- like how us waking up early ruined HIS holiday and that we're such selfish, horrible people (for, essentially, enjoying the celebrations).
I don't know what the fight was about in your family, but it's probably just a case of the holiday crankies. Regardless, however, try to keep in mind the good things about the day, as hard as it must be -- you got to spend quality time with your mother, right? Did you still get to eat yummy food?
Know that you have every right to feel upset about the holiday being ruined, but maybe try to think about those little good things, or relive past Thanksgiving memories that were less disappointing. Again, I'm really sorry for what you went through. It hurts me so bad every time a special occasion like that, one that I work really hard to make 'perfect', goes awry, so I definitely understand. Just know that I'm here to support you, and I'm thinking about you in your time of need.
Now, if you're up for a kind of funny thing that might cheer you up a little, here's a clip from the TV show Friends about another Thanksgiving going wrong:
Check out The Simdex—my PDF guide to all of the Sims 3 Store content (last updated September 2015)
Sorry to hear this , my father is also a grumpy old man when it come near to holidays.
so I know what your going through.
but my grumpy is ill at the moment and has now gone back into hospital for more treatment.
Thankfully should still be in for christmas day Hope fully.LOL