I had just came from the hotel I was having a dinner with Joseph Troy, his new girlfriend Arielle and Seb. I hopped in a taxi slightly tanked and feeling a little bit alone tonight. Abby went on a honey moon at Christmas and was due to come back any day now so the kids could start back school in January.
I was just outside the Hyatt when I heard my phone buzz. It was my mum. She and dad had been living in the UK for the last 5 years and I had not seen them much unless Abby had toured over there. But I was always delighted to talk with her and dad when I got them on the phone. Before I got to say a happy hello I heard my mother sniffle on the other end.
“Sean? Sean?” she whimpered.
“Mum what’s wrong?” I asked concerned. She let out a loud sigh as if she couldn’t tell me something. In fact she tried to say something several times.
“It’s Dad Honey…” I gulped standing nearly frozen out the front of the Hyatt doors not able to go in. “He’s gone Sean. He uh…” she bawled.
“What..?!” I said in disbelief.
“He had major cardiac episode and he was gone before the ambulance came.” I pressed my lips together and looked at the door men beside me before I stepped away so I could react.
“I uh. I’ll be on the first plane over.” I said before I felt my phone just slip from my hands and fall to the floor. I squatted to my knees and held them before letting silent and slow tears come. My dad seemed invincible with anything he did because he had accomplished for much. It was unbelievable and I was completely shocked to my core.
I was unsure what emotion to feel first. Anger, sadness, or guilt. Guilt got to me first. I had not been there, I had never been there. I chose my career always over being with my family. I had chosen to live my own life by my own choices instead of being with them.
How could I leave my mother now that she was all alone?
I got up and kept walking down the street still in shock, still in disbelief as I booked the first flight out of Sydney to London. It was now when I felt that I really needed someone. And everyone I knew either had someone or had kids or just felt like an acquaintance to me. I raced back home and through the Hyatt doors and took the lift up to my room not talking with anyone and dismissing any one that tried. I unhooked my tie that was tight around my neck and grabbed handfuls of clothes that were still on hangers and completely emptied my closets. By the time I was done I was angry and the only thing I could think of to numb my pain was to drink. I often drank socially and peacefully. But I found myself clearing the mini bar and taking one drink after another hoping that the burning of the booze would kill the pain I felt in my heart from my loss. I wasn’t even sure how many I drank before I found myself bodily ill and hanging my head over the toilet.
I felt dizzy and ran a shower and sat down in it. I was never a real emotional guy, because I never had any real cause to. I’d always bounce back from any emotion I ever felt. But the pain from loss like this was something I felt I couldn’t come back from. I let myself grieve until I felt I couldn’t cry any more.
I had to be better than this to be strong for my mother.
I spent many attempts trying to contact Abby and Justin on my way over to the UK. But to no avail. The flight was nearly a day and I drank myself til I passed out and slept on the plane for more than 12 hours before waking with a horrible hangover less than an hour before landing. As I got to the airport I finally heard back from Abby,
“I got a fair few texts yesterday. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you… the girls and I were in Paris and it was such a long day…”
“Uhm,” I said not knowing how to start. I just wanted to bawl but I was right in the middle of the airport and I suddenly didn’t want to talk. “I’ll talk to you later Abby…”
I hurried through the airport and seen my car that was ready for me out the front. The moment I got in I broke down again and put up the divider between me and the driver. Abby knowing something was up called again and again. I finally answered,
“What?” I said quietly.
“Tell me what’s happened?” she asked.
I needed her.
“My dad passed away the day before yesterday,” I said my voice cracking at my final word. I heard her sigh and emotional as always her voice began to waver,
“I’m so sorry Sean…” she said sounding like she was tearing up on the other end. “Look I’m coming home straight away. I’ll be on the next flight… you need me…” She said in a demanding way.
“Look ... I’ve just arrived in London. It’s okay. I will be okay…”
“No you’re not okay, I’ll be on the next flight. It’s only an hour flight. I should be able to get one as soon as possible.” She said. I wasn’t about to argue and tell her not to come because I knew she would come anyway, and I knew she would know exactly where to find me since she had stayed at the Hyatt in London many times.
The moment I got to the hotel I nodded at the front desk clerks who had worked at the Hyatt for many years who immediately gave me a glum look before greeting me as pleasantly as possible.
“My mother?” I asked sounding a little rude.
“She’s in her suite Mr Hyatt…” I took the lift up quickly and I opened the door to the suite which was completely quiet. I walked past many bouquets of flowers and a half drunk bottle of red wine on the counter.
“Mum?” I called out. Just then I saw one of the doors slightly swing open and she stood there slouched, with two day old makeup and looking exactly how I felt too. I gently walked up to her and just held her before she became a bunch of emotions in my arms. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks and I pressed them against her shoulder trying to remain strong for her.
“Oh darling, I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him…” I had no reply. I hadn’t been here. I hadn’t needed him the same way she did. But I knew I was not going to be the same without him either.
“I’m here…” I told her. “I’ll stay with you mum… I promise,” I finished.
I spent most of the afternoon with mum in bed just talking about dad and funeral arrangements until mum fell asleep. Once I pulled up her covers I wandered around her living room aimlessly before checking her wine stock pile in the fridge. Knowing she would demolish these in the next few days I decided I would pop a bottle. Just as I poured my first glass and sat on the lounge I heard my phone go off. It was Abby and she was in the lobby. I didn’t want to have a scene in the lobby so I rang the front desk and asked that she was escorted up to my suite. I knew Abby wouldn’t have the perfect thing to say, but she had been my most loyal friend, a person who put up with me and loved me. As soon as I saw her she practically dived at me and held me tight, as I lead away she held me from behind.
“I’m so sorry Sean. I’m so sorry …” she whispered. She wasn’t releasing me for anything.
I seemed to be out of tears but Abby was sad enough for me and she knew I was in emotional pain and she was empathetic about it. I knew she was sincere about her love and care for me by the way she held me.
“Justin sends his sympathies Sean, I left him in Paris with the girls and he will be here in a few days to give us some time together…” I had something to tell her only I didn’t know how.
“Abby. I’m not coming back after the funeral…” she looked puzzled for a moment but nodded with her lip quivering.
“I uh … shoot.” She sighed. “I understand,” she said not completely selling it.
“My mother has a lot of business to sort out in Sydney and I have to run the Hyatt here. It’s my father’s legacy and I have to do it. I don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
“Well you’re his heir, it’s understandable. I just figured you would run the one in Sydney.”
“Mum and I have spoken about it. But she wants to stay in the UK. And she needs to have some important discussions in Sydney before returning. I want to stay with her. I need to stay with her. I’m all she has. I should have been here in the UK all along. But I was just so self-centred about what I wanted…” I said hanging my head down.
“You could have never anticipated what was going to happen Sean... so don’t blame yourself for living your life the way your wanted it.”
“She offered me to go back to Sydney and run it. But I declined the minute I knew she was staying here. She’s offering some of dad’s closest business partners the position of management and keeping the shares with us while I manage this one in London.”
“Hmmm. It's gonna be weird without you. I’ve been by your side for nearly 8 years, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you Sean.”
“You got Justin, the kids and Rachel darling… and there are a million managers who will represent you in a heartbeat. And possibly do an even better job.” I assured. Abby hugged into my chest and we stayed on the couch for more than an hour just hugging before we settled into the night with a few glasses of wine and general chatting.
The turnout for dad’s funeral was absolutely massive. I couldn’t help but stare at each of them knowing they had possibly spent more time in the last 5 years with my father than I had. In a way I envied them and the guilt hit me once more. Abby linked arms with me and refused to let me go because my mother was busy accepting condolences and chatting with near and dear friends. I went inside the chapel and I announced,
“It’s an open casket behind the curtain over there, I’m actually undecided on whether I can do it.” I said squeezing her hand.
“I think you will have regrets if you don’t. It could be an important part of your grieving … and it’s the last time you will ever see him Sean.”
“Will you come with me?” I asked.
“I will, unless you would prefer to do it with your mum?”
“I’ve been mum’s rock for the last few days Abz, I don’t need her to see me a mess. I need to be the strong one for her…”
“But your always strong Sean, you don’t have to be for this. It’s okay to show her your grieving…” I nodded lowly and I stood near the curtain bracing myself to go in. I was frozen for a moment and nearly backed out of it before I felt Abby gently tug me into the viewing area.
All of a sudden I felt my whole body go cold and my eyes became heavy. I looked from a distance and approached his coffin slowly letting go of Abby’s hand. Abby came up behind me and placed her head on my shoulder blade as I shook my head looking at his lifeless body.
“No…” is all I had. I pinched my eyes together at my nose and hung my head and my back jerked while I silently bawled. I had built myself into such a state where I spun around quickly and held Abby before letting out a louder cry.
She rubbed my back to sooth me and I could hear her crying too because she knew this was just tearing me apart.
I sat solemn at the service and held my mother on one side while Abby sat on my other side with her hand on my leg offering me support. Sounds of weeping and sadness filled the room while I heard the minister speak. It didn’t feel personal and I knew the only way to make it right was to read out the eulogy I had spent days writing. The room filled with more tears even though I get some cheerful giggles when they recalled some beautiful memories. I rattled through the eulogy with a shaken voice and I seemed to gulp down my tears as the pages shook in my hands. I was so glad it was over. I was happy Abby convinced me to go to the viewing as I watched my father’s casket be placed in the ground. My mother clung to my arm and howled as it disappeared out of sight.
I stayed a moment after the burial and just stared at his newly placed headstone while people piled into their cars.
“Let’s go get a drink…” I said as I finally fixed my eyes on Abby.
“You have an extremely emotionally charged day. Let’s go…”
A few days later Abby it was time for Abby to leave though she wanted to stay. I made it easier and asked her to go and made the excuse that I had to get back to work anyway because mum was leaving to Australia soon. Justin and the girls landed in London and their lay over time way enough for Abby to check-in and get on the plane back to Sydney. Justin greeted me with a friendly hug and condolences just before I heard two cheerful little voices coming at me from Abby’s embrace.
“Uncle Sean!” they said both latching onto me. I held back tears in my eyes knowing it would be a long time before I’d see them again.
“Hey look at you two!” I said happily.
“Daddy says you’re staying in London…” Aisha said with a frown.
“Yes I am sweetheart…” I said before looking at Everly too.
“You won’t stay long though will you?” Everly asked.
“Unfortunately yes darling. I’m going to stay here and live with my mummy.”
“Will we ever see you again?” Aisha asked. I could see tears rolling down Abby’s cheeks from a distance and I gritted my teeth half shrugging before nodding.
“Sure. I will come and visit as much as I can… I promise.”
“We love you Uncle Sean…” they both said in unison before hugging me tightly.
“Oh I love you both very much, and don’t worry…”
I said pulling them back from me. “I will come over for a holiday real soon...” I said getting up from squatting. The girls turned around for me again before clutching on either hip of Abby.
“Til next time Sean…” Justin said holding out his hand for me to shake it.
“Look after this girl,” I smiled as Abby wiped over her eyes again.
“I will.” He nodded. “I’ll let you guys have a minute and I’ll see you in the flight lounge.” Justin said before kissing Abby’s cheek. When Justin was out of sight Abby turned around to me with tears in her eyes.
“What am I going to do without you Sean? I feel like things function when you’re around… What if I just fall apart?”
“You’re stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. I’ve told you this countless times over the years… you just gotta start believing it.”
“I miss you already… Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened in my life… everything good that happened to me happened because of you…” I sighed and took her compliment before squeezing her tighter than before.
“I love you Abby Greene. Stay beautiful…” Sean whispered.
“I love you too.” She sobbed before I gave her a quick kiss on her lips.
She smiled and our hands lingered in each other’s for a moment before she walked out of sight. I wiped my damp cheeks and pottered through the airport really unsure about anything I wanted to do. Nothing quite made sense.
I had just lost two of the most important people in my life in one week and I was truly heartbroken and I wondered how anything was ever going to be the same again.
Wuuuh, that legit made me cry... The end It was so hard to see Sean so broken but the end! His additional heartbreak when saying goodbye to the twins, and moreover saying goodbye to Abby after she has taken all that time and strain to jump into the airplane and come comfort him... They were part of his family, a part that won't be so present any more from now on. Wuuuh! *going to again*
I need a box of tissues. This was so sad. So many goodbyes for Sean. I guess this will truly be a new start to his life. Very different and in a very different place. I am so excited for his story to begin!
What a great intro into Chasing Hearts. My own little heart is breaking for Sean. He is so alone with only his work to satisfy him. I suppose it will likely be enough for a little while...but he will always long for Pammie.....
Comments
SEAN POV
I had just came from the hotel I was having a dinner with Joseph Troy, his new girlfriend Arielle and Seb. I hopped in a taxi slightly tanked and feeling a little bit alone tonight. Abby went on a honey moon at Christmas and was due to come back any day now so the kids could start back school in January.
I was just outside the Hyatt when I heard my phone buzz. It was my mum. She and dad had been living in the UK for the last 5 years and I had not seen them much unless Abby had toured over there. But I was always delighted to talk with her and dad when I got them on the phone. Before I got to say a happy hello I heard my mother sniffle on the other end.
“Sean? Sean?” she whimpered.
“Mum what’s wrong?” I asked concerned. She let out a loud sigh as if she couldn’t tell me something. In fact she tried to say something several times.
“It’s Dad Honey…” I gulped standing nearly frozen out the front of the Hyatt doors not able to go in. “He’s gone Sean. He uh…” she bawled.
“What..?!” I said in disbelief.
“He had major cardiac episode and he was gone before the ambulance came.” I pressed my lips together and looked at the door men beside me before I stepped away so I could react.
“I uh. I’ll be on the first plane over.” I said before I felt my phone just slip from my hands and fall to the floor. I squatted to my knees and held them before letting silent and slow tears come. My dad seemed invincible with anything he did because he had accomplished for much. It was unbelievable and I was completely shocked to my core.
I was unsure what emotion to feel first. Anger, sadness, or guilt. Guilt got to me first. I had not been there, I had never been there. I chose my career always over being with my family. I had chosen to live my own life by my own choices instead of being with them.
How could I leave my mother now that she was all alone?
I got up and kept walking down the street still in shock, still in disbelief as I booked the first flight out of Sydney to London. It was now when I felt that I really needed someone. And everyone I knew either had someone or had kids or just felt like an acquaintance to me. I raced back home and through the Hyatt doors and took the lift up to my room not talking with anyone and dismissing any one that tried. I unhooked my tie that was tight around my neck and grabbed handfuls of clothes that were still on hangers and completely emptied my closets. By the time I was done I was angry and the only thing I could think of to numb my pain was to drink. I often drank socially and peacefully. But I found myself clearing the mini bar and taking one drink after another hoping that the burning of the booze would kill the pain I felt in my heart from my loss. I wasn’t even sure how many I drank before I found myself bodily ill and hanging my head over the toilet.
I felt dizzy and ran a shower and sat down in it. I was never a real emotional guy, because I never had any real cause to. I’d always bounce back from any emotion I ever felt. But the pain from loss like this was something I felt I couldn’t come back from. I let myself grieve until I felt I couldn’t cry any more.
I had to be better than this to be strong for my mother.
I spent many attempts trying to contact Abby and Justin on my way over to the UK. But to no avail. The flight was nearly a day and I drank myself til I passed out and slept on the plane for more than 12 hours before waking with a horrible hangover less than an hour before landing. As I got to the airport I finally heard back from Abby,
“I got a fair few texts yesterday. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you… the girls and I were in Paris and it was such a long day…”
“Uhm,” I said not knowing how to start. I just wanted to bawl but I was right in the middle of the airport and I suddenly didn’t want to talk. “I’ll talk to you later Abby…”
I hurried through the airport and seen my car that was ready for me out the front. The moment I got in I broke down again and put up the divider between me and the driver. Abby knowing something was up called again and again. I finally answered,
“What?” I said quietly.
“Tell me what’s happened?” she asked.
I needed her.
“My dad passed away the day before yesterday,” I said my voice cracking at my final word. I heard her sigh and emotional as always her voice began to waver,
“I’m so sorry Sean…” she said sounding like she was tearing up on the other end. “Look I’m coming home straight away. I’ll be on the next flight… you need me…” She said in a demanding way.
“Look ... I’ve just arrived in London. It’s okay. I will be okay…”
“No you’re not okay, I’ll be on the next flight. It’s only an hour flight. I should be able to get one as soon as possible.” She said. I wasn’t about to argue and tell her not to come because I knew she would come anyway, and I knew she would know exactly where to find me since she had stayed at the Hyatt in London many times.
The moment I got to the hotel I nodded at the front desk clerks who had worked at the Hyatt for many years who immediately gave me a glum look before greeting me as pleasantly as possible.
“My mother?” I asked sounding a little rude.
“She’s in her suite Mr Hyatt…” I took the lift up quickly and I opened the door to the suite which was completely quiet. I walked past many bouquets of flowers and a half drunk bottle of red wine on the counter.
“Mum?” I called out. Just then I saw one of the doors slightly swing open and she stood there slouched, with two day old makeup and looking exactly how I felt too. I gently walked up to her and just held her before she became a bunch of emotions in my arms. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks and I pressed them against her shoulder trying to remain strong for her.
“Oh darling, I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him…” I had no reply. I hadn’t been here. I hadn’t needed him the same way she did. But I knew I was not going to be the same without him either.
“I’m here…” I told her. “I’ll stay with you mum… I promise,” I finished.
I spent most of the afternoon with mum in bed just talking about dad and funeral arrangements until mum fell asleep. Once I pulled up her covers I wandered around her living room aimlessly before checking her wine stock pile in the fridge. Knowing she would demolish these in the next few days I decided I would pop a bottle. Just as I poured my first glass and sat on the lounge I heard my phone go off. It was Abby and she was in the lobby. I didn’t want to have a scene in the lobby so I rang the front desk and asked that she was escorted up to my suite. I knew Abby wouldn’t have the perfect thing to say, but she had been my most loyal friend, a person who put up with me and loved me. As soon as I saw her she practically dived at me and held me tight, as I lead away she held me from behind.
“I’m so sorry Sean. I’m so sorry …” she whispered. She wasn’t releasing me for anything.
I seemed to be out of tears but Abby was sad enough for me and she knew I was in emotional pain and she was empathetic about it. I knew she was sincere about her love and care for me by the way she held me.
“Justin sends his sympathies Sean, I left him in Paris with the girls and he will be here in a few days to give us some time together…” I had something to tell her only I didn’t know how.
“Abby. I’m not coming back after the funeral…” she looked puzzled for a moment but nodded with her lip quivering.
“I uh … shoot.” She sighed. “I understand,” she said not completely selling it.
“My mother has a lot of business to sort out in Sydney and I have to run the Hyatt here. It’s my father’s legacy and I have to do it. I don’t really have a choice in the matter.”
“Well you’re his heir, it’s understandable. I just figured you would run the one in Sydney.”
“Mum and I have spoken about it. But she wants to stay in the UK. And she needs to have some important discussions in Sydney before returning. I want to stay with her. I need to stay with her. I’m all she has. I should have been here in the UK all along. But I was just so self-centred about what I wanted…” I said hanging my head down.
“You could have never anticipated what was going to happen Sean... so don’t blame yourself for living your life the way your wanted it.”
“She offered me to go back to Sydney and run it. But I declined the minute I knew she was staying here. She’s offering some of dad’s closest business partners the position of management and keeping the shares with us while I manage this one in London.”
“Hmmm. It's gonna be weird without you. I’ve been by your side for nearly 8 years, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you Sean.”
“You got Justin, the kids and Rachel darling… and there are a million managers who will represent you in a heartbeat. And possibly do an even better job.” I assured. Abby hugged into my chest and we stayed on the couch for more than an hour just hugging before we settled into the night with a few glasses of wine and general chatting.
The turnout for dad’s funeral was absolutely massive. I couldn’t help but stare at each of them knowing they had possibly spent more time in the last 5 years with my father than I had. In a way I envied them and the guilt hit me once more. Abby linked arms with me and refused to let me go because my mother was busy accepting condolences and chatting with near and dear friends. I went inside the chapel and I announced,
“It’s an open casket behind the curtain over there, I’m actually undecided on whether I can do it.” I said squeezing her hand.
“I think you will have regrets if you don’t. It could be an important part of your grieving … and it’s the last time you will ever see him Sean.”
“Will you come with me?” I asked.
“I will, unless you would prefer to do it with your mum?”
“I’ve been mum’s rock for the last few days Abz, I don’t need her to see me a mess. I need to be the strong one for her…”
“But your always strong Sean, you don’t have to be for this. It’s okay to show her your grieving…” I nodded lowly and I stood near the curtain bracing myself to go in. I was frozen for a moment and nearly backed out of it before I felt Abby gently tug me into the viewing area.
All of a sudden I felt my whole body go cold and my eyes became heavy. I looked from a distance and approached his coffin slowly letting go of Abby’s hand. Abby came up behind me and placed her head on my shoulder blade as I shook my head looking at his lifeless body.
“No…” is all I had. I pinched my eyes together at my nose and hung my head and my back jerked while I silently bawled. I had built myself into such a state where I spun around quickly and held Abby before letting out a louder cry.
She rubbed my back to sooth me and I could hear her crying too because she knew this was just tearing me apart.
I sat solemn at the service and held my mother on one side while Abby sat on my other side with her hand on my leg offering me support. Sounds of weeping and sadness filled the room while I heard the minister speak. It didn’t feel personal and I knew the only way to make it right was to read out the eulogy I had spent days writing. The room filled with more tears even though I get some cheerful giggles when they recalled some beautiful memories. I rattled through the eulogy with a shaken voice and I seemed to gulp down my tears as the pages shook in my hands. I was so glad it was over. I was happy Abby convinced me to go to the viewing as I watched my father’s casket be placed in the ground. My mother clung to my arm and howled as it disappeared out of sight.
I stayed a moment after the burial and just stared at his newly placed headstone while people piled into their cars.
“Let’s go get a drink…” I said as I finally fixed my eyes on Abby.
“You have an extremely emotionally charged day. Let’s go…”
A few days later Abby it was time for Abby to leave though she wanted to stay. I made it easier and asked her to go and made the excuse that I had to get back to work anyway because mum was leaving to Australia soon. Justin and the girls landed in London and their lay over time way enough for Abby to check-in and get on the plane back to Sydney. Justin greeted me with a friendly hug and condolences just before I heard two cheerful little voices coming at me from Abby’s embrace.
“Uncle Sean!” they said both latching onto me. I held back tears in my eyes knowing it would be a long time before I’d see them again.
“Hey look at you two!” I said happily.
“Daddy says you’re staying in London…” Aisha said with a frown.
“Yes I am sweetheart…” I said before looking at Everly too.
“You won’t stay long though will you?” Everly asked.
“Unfortunately yes darling. I’m going to stay here and live with my mummy.”
“Will we ever see you again?” Aisha asked. I could see tears rolling down Abby’s cheeks from a distance and I gritted my teeth half shrugging before nodding.
“Sure. I will come and visit as much as I can… I promise.”
“We love you Uncle Sean…” they both said in unison before hugging me tightly.
“Oh I love you both very much, and don’t worry…”
I said pulling them back from me. “I will come over for a holiday real soon...” I said getting up from squatting. The girls turned around for me again before clutching on either hip of Abby.
“Til next time Sean…” Justin said holding out his hand for me to shake it.
“Look after this girl,” I smiled as Abby wiped over her eyes again.
“I will.” He nodded. “I’ll let you guys have a minute and I’ll see you in the flight lounge.” Justin said before kissing Abby’s cheek. When Justin was out of sight Abby turned around to me with tears in her eyes.
“What am I going to do without you Sean? I feel like things function when you’re around… What if I just fall apart?”
“You’re stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. I’ve told you this countless times over the years… you just gotta start believing it.”
“I miss you already… Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened in my life… everything good that happened to me happened because of you…” I sighed and took her compliment before squeezing her tighter than before.
“I love you Abby Greene. Stay beautiful…” Sean whispered.
“I love you too.” She sobbed before I gave her a quick kiss on her lips.
She smiled and our hands lingered in each other’s for a moment before she walked out of sight. I wiped my damp cheeks and pottered through the airport really unsure about anything I wanted to do. Nothing quite made sense.
I had just lost two of the most important people in my life in one week and I was truly heartbroken and I wondered how anything was ever going to be the same again.
Chapters | Updated 09/26
http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/935980/chasing-hearts-it-begins-prologue#latest
I dont plan to update here at all. I just did it this one time so people who followed fine lines would see it.