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    Fighter Criticism/Feedback

    dotty_333dotty_333 Posts: 15
    in The Sims 3 Stories and Legacies
    Hey guys! If you read the new chapter of my new story and you had any feedback or criticism I would dearly love it if you commented below. I don't mind how bad it is, because I want to improve :) anyway! Have a great rest of the week everyone! Expect the next chapter to come out sometime in the next week! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ xxxxxxxxx
    Intro: http://www.thesims3.com/contentDetail.html?contentId=433340
    Chapter 1: http://www.thesims3.com/contentDetail.html?contentId=433571
    Chapter 2: http://www.thesims3.com/contentDetail.html?contentId=434106
    Chapter 3: http://www.thesims3.com/contentDetail.html?contentId=435245

    Don't forget to rec if you liked it!

    Comments

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      LakrossLakross Posts: 1,577 New Member
      edited November 2012
      :-) Storywise I like it and am interested in finding out why the mother is so distant with her daughter. I want to see if she really does hate her and if so why.

      Now, on to my suggestions;
      Some pictures are a bit blurry, and could I suggest taking pictures closer to your characters. It makes seeing their emotion easier. For this final suggestion, I confused about which season it's suppose to be. Your characters' clothes suggest it's Summer, but in the first line, Marissa's mom says "....I don’t want you catching a cold before Christmas!”. So is actually near winter, or am I reading into to that part too much(sorry if I am btw)


      Anywho I'm bookmarking and recommended it. :P
    • Options
      sims3elbsims3elb Posts: 925 New Member
      edited November 2012
      Rec'd! That was pretty good!

      How did you add the rain?
    • Options
      PixzaPixza Posts: 1,112 New Member
      edited November 2012
      Lakross wrote:
      For this final suggestion, I confused about which season it's suppose to be. Your characters' clothes suggest it's Summer, but in the first line, Marissa's mom says "....I don’t want you catching a cold before Christmas!”. So is actually near winter, or am I reading into to that part too much(sorry if I am btw)
      Christmas doesn't always mean winter, down in the southern hemisphere it's summer.

      (anyway loved it, I'll keep following it.. And yeah put more effort into the pictures)
    • Options
      blgaugerblgauger Posts: 43 Member
      edited November 2012
      I've never done a story or legacy so I can't really provide much feedback in that aspect.. But the story is good so far and I'm interested to find out more. Keep writing! You're off to a good start! :)
    • Options
      LakrossLakross Posts: 1,577 New Member
      edited November 2012
      Pixza wrote:
      Lakross wrote:
      For this final suggestion, I confused about which season it's suppose to be. Your characters' clothes suggest it's Summer, but in the first line, Marissa's mom says "....I don’t want you catching a cold before Christmas!”. So is actually near winter, or am I reading into to that part too much(sorry if I am btw)
      Christmas doesn't always mean winter, down in the southern hemisphere it's summer.

      (anyway loved it, I'll keep following it.. And yeah put more effort into the pictures)

      Oh yeah, I didn't think of it that way. :-o
    • Options
      dotty_333dotty_333 Posts: 15
      edited November 2012
      Lakross wrote:
      :-) Storywise I like it and am interested in finding out why the mother is so distant with her daughter. I want to see if she really does hate her and if so why.

      Now, on to my suggestions;
      Some pictures are a bit blurry, and could I suggest taking pictures closer to your characters. It makes seeing their emotion easier. For this final suggestion, I confused about which season it's suppose to be. Your characters' clothes suggest it's Summer, but in the first line, Marissa's mom says "....I don’t want you catching a cold before Christmas!”. So is actually near winter, or am I reading into to that part too much(sorry if I am btw)


      Anywho I'm bookmarking and recommended it. :P
      Hey! Thanks soooooooo much for your feedback!!!!!! I realise the pictures aren't great but I'll try harder and I think I have done them justice in Chapter 1! But yeah Christmas where I live is in summer but In New Zealand the weather is unpredictable. :) Thank you soo much for your feedback again!
    • Options
      dotty_333dotty_333 Posts: 15
      edited November 2012
      sims3elb wrote:
      Rec'd! That was pretty good!

      How did you add the rain?

      Hey! I added the rain with cmomoney's mod of Mod The Sims:
      http://www.modthesims.info/download.php?t=481816
    • Options
      dotty_333dotty_333 Posts: 15
      edited November 2012
      Pixza wrote:
      Lakross wrote:
      For this final suggestion, I confused about which season it's suppose to be. Your characters' clothes suggest it's Summer, but in the first line, Marissa's mom says "....I don’t want you catching a cold before Christmas!”. So is actually near winter, or am I reading into to that part too much(sorry if I am btw)
      Christmas doesn't always mean winter, down in the southern hemisphere it's summer.

      (anyway loved it, I'll keep following it.. And yeah put more effort into the pictures)

      Hey! Thanks for reading my chapter and inferring that their Christmas is in Summer. I understand that the pictures are crap but I've tried harder with the first real chapter of Fighter! Thanks!
    • Options
      dotty_333dotty_333 Posts: 15
      edited November 2012
      blgauger wrote:
      I've never done a story or legacy so I can't really provide much feedback in that aspect.. But the story is good so far and I'm interested to find out more. Keep writing! You're off to a good start! :)
      Hey! Thank you so much for your feedback about liking the story! I think this is the first story I have started writing that I thoroughly enjoy writing!
    • Options
      LakrossLakross Posts: 1,577 New Member
      edited December 2012
      Aw man chapter 3's a cliff hanger. Also wasn't expecting it to turn so dark story-wise. Not a bad thing though :p
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