An issue I have with adoption

Zeldaboy180 · October 2015

Now I'm not too sure about the adoption process in real life or how it varies country to country but I do plan on adopting all of my kids in the future when I'm ready. For the sake of topic we'll go with the American adoption system but feel free to talk about how it is in your country but just let us know that you're talking about your country.

Anyway what bugs me is how when you adopt a child they're instantly friends with both parents. Often times in real life children at that age can feel abandoned or just not trusting. The whole "you're not my real mom!" Etc.I would think adoption would have that reflect life where the child starts out at 0 relationship score since the child needs to be shown they can trust you and that you care.

Forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't believe it's just a simple "you adopted me yay we're best friends now'. Maybe in some cases it is but meh..

Any stories of your own adoptions or feed back to tell?

stilljustme2 · October 2015

You could use the relationship cheat to take the relationship between the child and the parents back down to 0 -- that might help you with your game play if it's really affecting it.

<yoursimFirst> is your active sim's first name.
<yoursimLast> is your active sim's last name.
<targetsimFirst> is the target sim's first name.
<targetsimLast> is the target sim's last name.
<(-)amount> is a positive or negative value between 1-100.
<track> is either: [Friendship_Main/Romance_Main]

modifyrelationship <yoursimFirst> <yoursimLast> <targetsimFirst> <targetsimLast> <(-)amount> <track>

So for your Sim adoptees you could try

modifyrelationship Sam Sim Stu Sim -50 Friendship_Main

and that would take the relationship between Sam and his dad Stu down to 0. If you wanted to make it 0 on both sides you'd have to repeat t using Stu first then Sam as the target, but it might be more realistic to have Dad (and Mom) like the kid, but the kid not trusting quite yet.

Not sure if -50 is too much, so you might want to practice first -- go ahead and save the family after the adoption, then try and adjust the relationship down so if you mess up and the relationship goes into the red you can exit without saving then reload the family.

king_of_simcity7 · October 2015

Interesting points, OP

It would be a good way to add a challenge that maybe it could be harder to build a relationship with a new child.

Kids can't always be bribed into making friends anyway

Zeldaboy180 · October 2015

stilljustme2 wrote: »

You could use the relationship cheat to take the relationship between the child and the parents back down to 0 -- that might help you with your game play if it's really affecting it.

<yoursimFirst> is your active sim's first name.
<yoursimLast> is your active sim's last name.
<targetsimFirst> is the target sim's first name.
<targetsimLast> is the target sim's last name.
<(-)amount> is a positive or negative value between 1-100.
<track> is either: [Friendship_Main/Romance_Main]

modifyrelationship <yoursimFirst> <yoursimLast> <targetsimFirst> <targetsimLast> <(-)amount> <track>

So for your Sim adoptees you could try

modifyrelationship Sam Sim Stu Sim -50 Friendship_Main

and that would take the relationship between Sam and his dad Stu down to 0. If you wanted to make it 0 on both sides you'd have to repeat t using Stu first then Sam as the target, but it might be more realistic to have Dad (and Mom) like the kid, but the kid not trusting quite yet.

Not sure if -50 is too much, so you might want to practice first -- go ahead and save the family after the adoption, then try and adjust the relationship down so if you mess up and the relationship goes into the red you can exit without saving then reload the family.

I use the ui extension mod which basically does the same thing without a whole bunch of cheats to input. I just set their score to 0 but I thought it'd be cool to discuss.

Dannydanbo · October 2015

I understand what you're saying and see your point, but this is a game and it's meant to be fun. To take it a step further, would you want an adopted child to be unstable and find it difficult to adjust because of abandonment issues? This is simulated life, not real life. I suppose you could cheat edit your adopted child to hate you somehow, but why? A sims life is hard enough, always being told what to do, where to live, what job to take, when to pee.

luthienrising · October 2015

I always delete the birth families that the game generates. I didn't even know there ended up being a relationship!

EDIT: Oh, misread that! You mean with the child. Yes, that should start out slowly. But I guess I can make it so.

MrSimmis · October 2015

Is it wierd that I have never used the adoption system yet since launch? I probably should.

pageybear · October 2015

although you make some great points, i'm happy the child is instantly my friend. Course i don't use adoption very often anyway.

Mstybl95 · October 2015

Dannydanbo wrote: »

I understand what you're saying and see your point, but this is a game and it's meant to be fun. To take it a step further, would you want an adopted child to be unstable and find it difficult to adjust because of abandonment issues? This is simulated life, not real life. I suppose you could cheat edit your adopted child to hate you somehow, but why? A sims life is hard enough, always being told what to do, where to live, what job to take, when to pee.

Actually, yes, some people do want a more complex game. It adds challenge, depth, and makes you care about the outcome of your Sims.

Zeldaboy180 · October 2015

Dannydanbo wrote: »

I understand what you're saying and see your point, but this is a game and it's meant to be fun. To take it a step further, would you want an adopted child to be unstable and find it difficult to adjust because of abandonment issues? This is simulated life, not real life. I suppose you could cheat edit your adopted child to hate you somehow, but why? A sims life is hard enough, always being told what to do, where to live, what job to take, when to pee.

The sims 4 is way too happy at the moment. I remember back in thr sims 2 when my vampire sim stayed out a bit past dark accidentally and I rushed to get her home to safety. She turned to ashes right outside her door and a social worker came to take the baby. It was so heart breaking but it added alot to my story.

I had actually saved and reloaded many times but she died every time so I went with it. It was my first sims 2 family and I didn't know about motive cheats to raise her hunger etc. I miss those kind of tragic stories.

Slowly befriending a child could be really sweet watchikg them slowly open up to you and love you as a parent.

poeticnebula · October 2015

I see your point but I know of a couple of people who were adopted older than the "toddler" age and I saw a different reaction than what you are expecting. I think a lot depends and how the child enters the system and how long they have been there and it can have great influence on the child's reaction. With those that I know, they were very happy to have a real "home" and the relationships did start out rather high. I understand wanting more "realism" in the game, but sometimes you just have to pick a way to code a game and I'm very happy with the way they did it.

*Side note* My daughter also plans to adopt when she's ready.

Mstybl95 · October 2015

I liked the way it was done in TS2. If you ever had a child taken from you (which was much easier in that game), then the child[ren] would be in the adoption pool. Your other playable families could adopt them and you would be able to get them back. Actually, I used to run an adoption agency in TS2. If a child was taken, I would have the adoption agency adopt them and then make a mini-game to find parents. Adoptive parents would have 3 hours to meet the children that lived there and if they were able to befriend one, they could adopt.

MocaJava · October 2015

While we're on the subject, has anyone else had this happen with adopted kids? I had a sim adopt 3 kids before she married and had a kid with the husband. When the adopted kids grew up they were able to do romantic interactions with the husband. It's like the game didn't acknowledge any family relationship at all with him.

Zeldaboy180 · October 2015

MocaJava wrote: »

While we're on the subject, has anyone else had this happen with adopted kids? I had a sim adopt 3 kids before she married and had a kid with the husband. When the adopted kids grew up they were able to do romantic interactions with the husband. It's like the game didn't acknowledge any family relationship at all with him.

That's a really old glitch. If your sims aren't married it only shows the adopter as the parent I believe.

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An issue I have with adoption

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