Homecoming is my piece for this week's workshop. It is picture-less and is something that came to me about half an hour ago. Here are my questions concerning it: 1. What is your impression of the characters and their relationship?
2. Did the lack of screenshots and (detailed) description impact your impression of the emotions conveyed? How?
3. If you were to choose the most prominent emotion in this piece, what would it be and why?
4. Does this piece make you want to read on?
5. What is your general impression of the story so far? Feel free to ask any questions.
Also, I'd rather explain the background to this piece, i.e how it fits into SimLit and where it came from, after you've given initial feedback.
Thanks in advance!
1) What are your first impressions of Justine?
"Aww, isn't she cute."
Seriously. She's like a little puppy who anxiously follows Iris around everywhere and wants her to pet her. She talks like a teenager. Not in a "one time at band camp" kind of way, but she sounds really young. Maybe naive is a better word? Lacking life experience...innocent! I think that's what you were going for, so yay!
2) Are you able to see the world through her eyes? If yes, what helps you see it? If not, where do you struggle the most?
I feel more like I'm reading her diary not really like I'm seeing things through her eyes. That's not really a bad thing, but if you were really going for seeing things through her eyes, then that's different. She didn't really pain any pictures for me. I really don't know how she sees things.
3) Do you feel that this piece flows based on Justine and your impression of her? What are its strengths in how it flows? Weaknesses?
Yes. I felt like sometimes she jumped from subject to subject, but it worked because of how she talks. I wasn't lost. Sometimes I was like, "Oh! We're over here now." lol
4) Is Justine's friendship with Iris believable based on what you currently know? If yes, why? If not, what do you feel is missing?
I know more about this story than some people here, so I'm trying to put that knowledge away and only focus on what I've just read. Based on this one episode, I'd say no. We don't really know how they became friends. All it said was that her massage guy pointed Iris out to her, and BAM they were friends lol. I know that story is told in another chapter, but even still...why would someone like Iris want to be friends with a "nobody" like Justine?
5) What overall feelings do you get from reading this? Does it leave you wondering anything about the character(s)?
I'm left wondering a whole lot about Justine's mom! All these little hints about a previous life makes me want to know what she was into especially because it affected how she raised Justine and Jacob.
Overall, I feel like it's a cute story that will be very entertaining.
6) Any issues (major or minor) that you feel take you away from understanding/relating to Justine and her circumstances?
Well, in some ways, I used to be Justine (or maybe I still am?), so I don't have any problems relating to her lol.
Ooh! I actually have time to do read and give feedback here this week! Go me.
I'll do it in the morning though because it's that time where I'll probably start mumbling mumbo jumbo.
Origin ID: SummerFalls House: Ravenclaw/Wampus - Wand: Alder wood with Unicorn hair core 10 ¾" and Slightly Springy flexibility - Patronus: Neblung Cat
| Simblr | Youtube | I love creating sims! |
Oh, ummm, Jes2Geek here with a question for @aroseinbloom. Are you playing this game on your laptop vs. your desktop? The pictures look great! They look a bit softer and clearer to me.
Oh, ummm, Jes2Geek here with a question for @aroseinbloom. Are you playing this game on your laptop vs. your desktop? The pictures look great! They look a bit softer and clearer to me.
Desktop. But I play all my games (that have photos)on my desktop, so I'm not sure why the look more clear than, say, the Skinners.
Oh, ummm, Jes2Geek here with a question for @aroseinbloom. Are you playing this game on your laptop vs. your desktop? The pictures look great! They look a bit softer and clearer to me.
Desktop. But I play all my games (that have photos)on my desktop, so I'm not sure why the look more clear than, say, the Skinners.
Oh! Interesting! That is weird then. The pictures definitely caught my attention.
A little housekeeping before we get too swept away with this week's activities:
1. Finishing up last week: I think we're still waiting to hear from a few of you on Muse's piece. If you aren't able to provide feedback, please let us know so we don't keep waiting.
Once we've heard from everyone, then we can open up the general discussion about Muse's piece, and after that, she'll be free to comment and ask questions of us.
2. Scheduling future readings: @OJenn@Jes2G and @Julyvee94 - who can be ready with a piece for the workshop of August 31?
Who would like to go September 7?
Would any lurkers or others like to have pieces workshopped? If so, please let me know so I can add you to the schedule, and if not, then we'll start our rotation, giving us a chance to have our second pieces workshopped.
3. I'd also like to check in with you all (lurkers, semi-participants, and participants) to see how this process is going for you.
-->When providing feedback, did you feel that you learned some things that can help you with your writer? If so, what?
-->How does the general pacing and flow seem to be working for you? Would it be better to have one piece per week, rather than two?
-->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
I'm going to work on Muse's tomorrow, if that's okay. My mind has been useless the last few days.
Also...something that might help would be the list of questions from the person being workshopped under their name in the front with the schedule, if that's possible.
It will just prevent me from having to dig back.
I don't mind the two pieces a week, I just have to get better at scheduling myself and sticking to it!
I'm going to work on Muse's tomorrow, if that's okay. My mind has been useless the last few days.
Also...something that might help would be the list of questions from the person being workshopped under their name in the front with the schedule, if that's possible.
It will just prevent me from having to dig back.
I don't mind the two pieces a week, I just have to get better at scheduling myself and sticking to it!
I really should have reserved a page up front for the questions. I think when starting these types of things it's good to reserve about five pages up front (note to self).
I'll see if I can condense the reader/writer guidelines so they fit on a single page, then the second page could be the schedule and questions.
Great idea, Rosey!
EDIT: And tomorrow's fine--we just need to have some idea so we know when to open up to the general reader discussion.
@CathyTea -->When providing feedback, did you feel that you learned some things that can help you with your writer? If so, what?
I think feeding back has helped me notice things like imagery and structure in my pieces that before were just natural writing. It's helped me notice their importance as well and how different writers place emphasis on different techniques.
-->How does the general pacing and flow seem to be working for you? Would it be better to have one piece per week, rather than two?
I like two a week but I'm not sure if that means both start on Monday or if one covers Monday-Wednesday the other covers Thursday-Saturday and Sunday is just a general day?
-->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
As far as this week is concerned I felt totally overlooked in all honesty. Without causing conflict since it's barely the start of mine and Rosey's week and there isn't a real issue but it just confused me how Rosey's work was fed back almost immediately and then I posted mine and it was ignored to continue conversing between others about Rosey's work. I completely love the discussion aspect and the friendly environment here but didn't particularly like how my piece and questions haven't been glanced at in their 24 hours. As has my comment above about being absent later this week. But see my above response because I may have misinterpreted how the pieces should be spread across the week.
I'm going to work on Muse's tomorrow, if that's okay. My mind has been useless the last few days.
Also...something that might help would be the list of questions from the person being workshopped under their name in the front with the schedule, if that's possible.
It will just prevent me from having to dig back.
I don't mind the two pieces a week, I just have to get better at scheduling myself and sticking to it!
I really should have reserved a page up front for the questions. I think when starting these types of things it's good to reserve about five pages up front (note to self).
I'll see if I can condense the reader/writer guidelines so they fit on a single page, then the second page could be the schedule and questions.
Great idea, Rosey!
EDIT: And tomorrow's fine--we just need to have some idea so we know when to open up to the general reader discussion.
I agree. I'm not constantly here, so I miss things and I don't always go back which is how I missed Muse's. Having it on the front page would be helpful for me too. I'll will go back and find hers and do it later today.
Two pieces per week is fine, but I think there should be more structure to it because here we are on another week still doing the first week's because you've been waiting for me and others to reply. So, I would suggest that we do something kinda like book club. Everyone is open to give feedback anytime, but the general discussion is held on a particular day (the authors should get their own days). Perhaps you should set a deadline for feedback as well. Personally, I don't work well with open-ended projects. It makes me feel like I can take as much time as I need and I can do it whenever I feel like it. I tell my boss this all the time. She doesn't like giving deadlines because she doesn't want to pressure me, but at the same time, I need to have some sort of idea of when she would like to see a finished product even if it's not a hard date; I need something to shoot for. If I know I have three days to reply, then I can assess my schedule and see if I can actually do it or not. I take it very seriously that someone would want my input, so I don't read and answer these questions halfheartedly. I like to be in the proper frame of mind and like to have the time to dive in because I spend a lot of time reading these more than once and thinking about the piece objectively and crafting my answers. So, yeah lol. It would be great if I could know when I'm expected.
I don't really have anything to share right now. I'm working feverishly on finishing up the legacy, and I need to finish up Crazy Brady's Boot Camp. In between then, I throw a stick at F.I.S.H., but those chapters are all very rough. I haven't even taken a second look at those...unless you guys want to see what one of my first drafts look like! Now there's a scary thought lol.
@CathyTea -->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
As far as this week is concerned I felt totally overlooked in all honesty. Without causing conflict since it's barely the start of mine and Rosey's week and there isn't a real issue but it just confused me how Rosey's work was fed back almost immediately and then I posted mine and it was ignored to continue conversing between others about Rosey's work. I completely love the discussion aspect and the friendly environment here but didn't particularly like how my piece and questions haven't been glanced at in their 24 hours. As has my comment above about being absent later this week. But see my above response because I may have misinterpreted how the pieces should be spread across the week.
I think this is another example of why more structure is needed.
I know, for me, I just happened to have come to this thread shortly after @aroseinbloom posted hers, so it was easy to check it out and answer. And, because I put some much energy into doing this, there's no way I'm going to turn around and do another one of these in the same day; It takes a lot out of me.
Lizzie, did I do yours? Or, am I thinking about what I did on your thread?
@Jes2G neither of my posts were acknowledged, one with the piece and questions and one saying I'm gonna be absent.
I don't want to cause conflict but it felt necessary to bring it up concerning structure. I understand it takes a lot of time and effort and I appreciate that.
@Jes2G neither of my posts were acknowledged, one with the piece and questions and one saying I'm gonna be absent.
I don't want to cause conflict but it felt necessary to bring it up concerning structure. I understand it takes a lot of time and effort and I appreciate that.
So sorry. I said I'd do Muse's tonight, so I'll get to yours tomorrow.
-->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
As far as this week is concerned I felt totally overlooked in all honesty. Without causing conflict since it's barely the start of mine and Rosey's week and there isn't a real issue but it just confused me how Rosey's work was fed back almost immediately and then I posted mine and it was ignored to continue conversing between others about Rosey's work. I completely love the discussion aspect and the friendly environment here but didn't particularly like how my piece and questions haven't been glanced at in their 24 hours. As has my comment above about being absent later this week. But see my above response because I may have misinterpreted how the pieces should be spread across the week.
Hi, Lizzie! Thanks for bringing this up! On my part, this is because I don't feel we've completed talking about Muse's piece yet. I forgot that when I saw Rosey's piece, and then once I remembered, I wanted to (for my own ability to maintain focus on my own reading process) to wrap up Muse's before thinking about another piece.
Also, I had only time to do one piece a day this time, then when I saw you were going to be gone for a while, I thought I'd wait until Wednesday to reply to yours.
Let's try to wrap up one week before posting the next.
As far as when we post, I'm open to what works for everyone. I would like a window--say between Monday and Wednesday, any time during that window. But that means that we need to wrap up our discussions on the previous week by then.
I was feeling like Muse's piece didn't get fully discussed--so I'm hoping we can finish that, and then move onto yours and Rosey's.
I'm interested in other members' perspectives on this.
I didn't say anything about you being gone, because I thought you were gone! LOL! I was waiting to say hi when you returned!
I'll post some ideas for structure either later today or tomorrow.
In the meantime:
a) Please try to provide feedback on Muse's by tomorrow evening, if you haven't yet done so.
b) Please try to provide feedback to Rosey's by Wednesday evening, if you haven't yet done so.
c) Please try to provide feedback to Lizzie's by Thursday evening.
d) We will wrap up our discussion on Rosey's by Thursday evening, so she can respond and ask questions on Friday.
e) We will wrap up our discussion on Lizzie's by Friday evening, so she can respond and ask questions on Saturday.
--
I've got a lot of seeds in the garden at the moment. Once they germinate in the next day or two, I'll swing back and tighten up our front page here, and I'll come back with a more structured schedule.
(I think the structure was in place, I was just using looser words like "in a few days," and "by mid-week" and so on. I will be more specific in the next proposal.)
Ok! One seed just sprouted! Yay! So... I'm ready to talk structure.
I want to propose that we read only one piece per week. I want to make sure that each piece gets ample attention. Last week, my piece was posted first, and it got a ton of attention. Muse's was posted second, and I feel it was short-shifted. This week, Rosey's was posted first, and it received immediate attention. Lizzie's was posted second, and she hasn't received feedback yet.
As a reader, I'm having trouble dividing my attention between two, and as a co-moderator, I'm having trouble facilitating the discussion of two pieces simultaneously. Let's continue with two pieces this week, following the schedule I posted above, and then beginning next week, let's just discuss one piece per week.
Here's the structure I propose:
1) The weekly piece is submitted by Monday evening (the writer's timezone)
2) The writer's questions are answered by the readers by Wednesday evening (the readers' various timezones)
3) Thursday, the readers discuss the piece amongst themselves.
4) Friday and over the weekend, the writer can join in the discussion.
How does this sound?
Please share your responses, ideas, suggestions for changes, reservations, and other considerations. I'll share the coffee and blueberries!
Comments
1. What is your impression of the characters and their relationship?
2. Did the lack of screenshots and (detailed) description impact your impression of the emotions conveyed? How?
3. If you were to choose the most prominent emotion in this piece, what would it be and why?
4. Does this piece make you want to read on?
5. What is your general impression of the story so far? Feel free to ask any questions.
Also, I'd rather explain the background to this piece, i.e how it fits into SimLit and where it came from, after you've given initial feedback.
Thanks in advance!
"Aww, isn't she cute."
Seriously. She's like a little puppy who anxiously follows Iris around everywhere and wants her to pet her. She talks like a teenager. Not in a "one time at band camp" kind of way, but she sounds really young. Maybe naive is a better word? Lacking life experience...innocent! I think that's what you were going for, so yay!
2) Are you able to see the world through her eyes? If yes, what helps you see it? If not, where do you struggle the most?
I feel more like I'm reading her diary not really like I'm seeing things through her eyes. That's not really a bad thing, but if you were really going for seeing things through her eyes, then that's different. She didn't really pain any pictures for me. I really don't know how she sees things.
3) Do you feel that this piece flows based on Justine and your impression of her? What are its strengths in how it flows? Weaknesses?
Yes. I felt like sometimes she jumped from subject to subject, but it worked because of how she talks. I wasn't lost. Sometimes I was like, "Oh! We're over here now." lol
4) Is Justine's friendship with Iris believable based on what you currently know? If yes, why? If not, what do you feel is missing?
I know more about this story than some people here, so I'm trying to put that knowledge away and only focus on what I've just read. Based on this one episode, I'd say no. We don't really know how they became friends. All it said was that her massage guy pointed Iris out to her, and BAM they were friends lol. I know that story is told in another chapter, but even still...why would someone like Iris want to be friends with a "nobody" like Justine?
5) What overall feelings do you get from reading this? Does it leave you wondering anything about the character(s)?
I'm left wondering a whole lot about Justine's mom! All these little hints about a previous life makes me want to know what she was into especially because it affected how she raised Justine and Jacob.
Overall, I feel like it's a cute story that will be very entertaining.
6) Any issues (major or minor) that you feel take you away from understanding/relating to Justine and her circumstances?
Well, in some ways, I used to be Justine (or maybe I still am?), so I don't have any problems relating to her lol.
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
Ha! Cool.
I'll do it in the morning though because it's that time where I'll probably start mumbling mumbo jumbo.
Origin ID: SummerFalls
House: Ravenclaw/Wampus - Wand: Alder wood with Unicorn hair core 10 ¾" and Slightly Springy flexibility - Patronus: Neblung Cat
| Simblr | Youtube | I love creating sims! |
Desktop. But I play all my games (that have photos)on my desktop, so I'm not sure why the look more clear than, say, the Skinners.
Discord: #5153
Oh! Interesting! That is weird then. The pictures definitely caught my attention.
Thanks
A little housekeeping before we get too swept away with this week's activities:
1. Finishing up last week: I think we're still waiting to hear from a few of you on Muse's piece. If you aren't able to provide feedback, please let us know so we don't keep waiting.
Once we've heard from everyone, then we can open up the general discussion about Muse's piece, and after that, she'll be free to comment and ask questions of us.
2. Scheduling future readings: @OJenn @Jes2G and @Julyvee94 - who can be ready with a piece for the workshop of August 31?
Who would like to go September 7?
Would any lurkers or others like to have pieces workshopped? If so, please let me know so I can add you to the schedule, and if not, then we'll start our rotation, giving us a chance to have our second pieces workshopped.
3. I'd also like to check in with you all (lurkers, semi-participants, and participants) to see how this process is going for you.
-->When providing feedback, did you feel that you learned some things that can help you with your writer? If so, what?
-->How does the general pacing and flow seem to be working for you? Would it be better to have one piece per week, rather than two?
-->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
Also...something that might help would be the list of questions from the person being workshopped under their name in the front with the schedule, if that's possible.
It will just prevent me from having to dig back.
I don't mind the two pieces a week, I just have to get better at scheduling myself and sticking to it!
Discord: #5153
I really should have reserved a page up front for the questions. I think when starting these types of things it's good to reserve about five pages up front (note to self).
I'll see if I can condense the reader/writer guidelines so they fit on a single page, then the second page could be the schedule and questions.
Great idea, Rosey!
EDIT: And tomorrow's fine--we just need to have some idea so we know when to open up to the general reader discussion.
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
-->When providing feedback, did you feel that you learned some things that can help you with your writer? If so, what?
I think feeding back has helped me notice things like imagery and structure in my pieces that before were just natural writing. It's helped me notice their importance as well and how different writers place emphasis on different techniques.
-->How does the general pacing and flow seem to be working for you? Would it be better to have one piece per week, rather than two?
I like two a week but I'm not sure if that means both start on Monday or if one covers Monday-Wednesday the other covers Thursday-Saturday and Sunday is just a general day?
-->What other comments, concerns, questions, and feedback do you have about this process at this time?
As far as this week is concerned I felt totally overlooked in all honesty. Without causing conflict since it's barely the start of mine and Rosey's week and there isn't a real issue but it just confused me how Rosey's work was fed back almost immediately and then I posted mine and it was ignored to continue conversing between others about Rosey's work. I completely love the discussion aspect and the friendly environment here but didn't particularly like how my piece and questions haven't been glanced at in their 24 hours. As has my comment above about being absent later this week. But see my above response because I may have misinterpreted how the pieces should be spread across the week.
I agree. I'm not constantly here, so I miss things and I don't always go back which is how I missed Muse's. Having it on the front page would be helpful for me too. I'll will go back and find hers and do it later today.
Two pieces per week is fine, but I think there should be more structure to it because here we are on another week still doing the first week's because you've been waiting for me and others to reply. So, I would suggest that we do something kinda like book club. Everyone is open to give feedback anytime, but the general discussion is held on a particular day (the authors should get their own days). Perhaps you should set a deadline for feedback as well. Personally, I don't work well with open-ended projects. It makes me feel like I can take as much time as I need and I can do it whenever I feel like it. I tell my boss this all the time. She doesn't like giving deadlines because she doesn't want to pressure me, but at the same time, I need to have some sort of idea of when she would like to see a finished product even if it's not a hard date; I need something to shoot for. If I know I have three days to reply, then I can assess my schedule and see if I can actually do it or not. I take it very seriously that someone would want my input, so I don't read and answer these questions halfheartedly. I like to be in the proper frame of mind and like to have the time to dive in because I spend a lot of time reading these more than once and thinking about the piece objectively and crafting my answers. So, yeah lol. It would be great if I could know when I'm expected.
I don't really have anything to share right now. I'm working feverishly on finishing up the legacy, and I need to finish up Crazy Brady's Boot Camp. In between then, I throw a stick at F.I.S.H., but those chapters are all very rough. I haven't even taken a second look at those...unless you guys want to see what one of my first drafts look like! Now there's a scary thought lol.
I think this is another example of why more structure is needed.
I know, for me, I just happened to have come to this thread shortly after @aroseinbloom posted hers, so it was easy to check it out and answer. And, because I put some much energy into doing this, there's no way I'm going to turn around and do another one of these in the same day; It takes a lot out of me.
Lizzie, did I do yours? Or, am I thinking about what I did on your thread?
I don't want to cause conflict but it felt necessary to bring it up concerning structure. I understand it takes a lot of time and effort and I appreciate that.
So sorry. I said I'd do Muse's tonight, so I'll get to yours tomorrow.
Hi, Lizzie! Thanks for bringing this up! On my part, this is because I don't feel we've completed talking about Muse's piece yet. I forgot that when I saw Rosey's piece, and then once I remembered, I wanted to (for my own ability to maintain focus on my own reading process) to wrap up Muse's before thinking about another piece.
Also, I had only time to do one piece a day this time, then when I saw you were going to be gone for a while, I thought I'd wait until Wednesday to reply to yours.
Let's try to wrap up one week before posting the next.
As far as when we post, I'm open to what works for everyone. I would like a window--say between Monday and Wednesday, any time during that window. But that means that we need to wrap up our discussions on the previous week by then.
I was feeling like Muse's piece didn't get fully discussed--so I'm hoping we can finish that, and then move onto yours and Rosey's.
I'm interested in other members' perspectives on this.
I didn't say anything about you being gone, because I thought you were gone! LOL! I was waiting to say hi when you returned!
I'll post some ideas for structure either later today or tomorrow.
In the meantime:
a) Please try to provide feedback on Muse's by tomorrow evening, if you haven't yet done so.
b) Please try to provide feedback to Rosey's by Wednesday evening, if you haven't yet done so.
c) Please try to provide feedback to Lizzie's by Thursday evening.
d) We will wrap up our discussion on Rosey's by Thursday evening, so she can respond and ask questions on Friday.
e) We will wrap up our discussion on Lizzie's by Friday evening, so she can respond and ask questions on Saturday.
--
I've got a lot of seeds in the garden at the moment. Once they germinate in the next day or two, I'll swing back and tighten up our front page here, and I'll come back with a more structured schedule.
(I think the structure was in place, I was just using looser words like "in a few days," and "by mid-week" and so on. I will be more specific in the next proposal.)
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
I want to propose that we read only one piece per week. I want to make sure that each piece gets ample attention. Last week, my piece was posted first, and it got a ton of attention. Muse's was posted second, and I feel it was short-shifted. This week, Rosey's was posted first, and it received immediate attention. Lizzie's was posted second, and she hasn't received feedback yet.
As a reader, I'm having trouble dividing my attention between two, and as a co-moderator, I'm having trouble facilitating the discussion of two pieces simultaneously. Let's continue with two pieces this week, following the schedule I posted above, and then beginning next week, let's just discuss one piece per week.
Here's the structure I propose:
1) The weekly piece is submitted by Monday evening (the writer's timezone)
2) The writer's questions are answered by the readers by Wednesday evening (the readers' various timezones)
3) Thursday, the readers discuss the piece amongst themselves.
4) Friday and over the weekend, the writer can join in the discussion.
How does this sound?
Please share your responses, ideas, suggestions for changes, reservations, and other considerations. I'll share the coffee and blueberries!
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!
thank you so are you.
Do you also play The Elder Scrolls Online? You can find me there as CathyTea, too!