Prologue
The year is 2014 in a little country called Simerica, whom at the time were locked in an intergalactic war with the Extraterrestrial species known as the Sixamsians...Yeah it was an eventful year. Back then things were a bit too.....vanilla for most people's tastes, I mean for crying out loud, there were only two towns that were inhabitable. One of them being Willow Creek.
But the town we're focusing on right now is called Oasis Springs. This is where we'll see characters such as young Katrina Caliente.
Here we see Katrina receiving an important letter from The Simerican army about her newlywed husband.
"What do you mean my Husband was killed in the battle of Sixam?!" Katrina exclaimed "We were about to have twins, now who's going to help me raise these brats?!"
Of course right after Katrina screamed to the heavens it seemed like her prayers had been answered as a total hunk of a man jogged past her.
"Oh heeeey" Katrina said seductively as she followed her future boytoy down the street. Just an example of who we could expect to see in this town.
Or we can travel to the other side of town and see the newly engaged Geoffrey Smith and Nancy Landgraab having lunch at the local cafe.
"Nancy, you have made me the happiest man in the world." Geoffrey gushed. "I can't wait until we walk down that aisle as Mr and Mrs Smith."
"Who said we were taking your last name?" Nancy said rather coldly.
Geoffrey just chuckled the comment away "Ha, funny joke Nancy.....It was just a joke right?........Right?"
Nancy just sat there in silence as Geoffrey's chuckling got a little more nervous with each passing second.
But here we'll see the home of our true star of this story, The Baxter residence.
Meet Edgar Baxter, born in 1988. He's had no ambitions his entire life but surely now that he's the star of his own story, he'll have his own interesting adventures to take part in.
"Me? Oh no, find someone else to be the star, I have nothing interesting going on with my life." Edgar responded.
Wait......But you're our protagonist, you can't just refuse to be our main character. Whose life are we going to follow without you in the picture?
"Well my wife's about to pop out a baby literally any day now. Perhaps you can focus this story on the kid?" Edgar suggested.
Fine, we'll wait patiently for that baby to arrive. He better be pretty interesting Edgar, we've already wasted too much time to go start somewhere else.
Meet Aria Baxter, born in 1990. She's lived a pretty unremarkable life just like Edgar here.
"Oh thanks, can't wait to hear what you say behind my back." Aria responded with pure snide in her voice.
Back then the laws in Simerica were pretty.....strict to say the least, didn't leave much in the way of "content". For instance, swimming pools were banned for quite a while down there.
"I know, what's the deal with that?" Aria questioned, "We live out in the plum desert and we're not allowed to go swimming?"
If that's not bad enough, back then even ghosts were outlawed! Coming back from the dead as a ghost was not tolerated in the slightest. Look what happened when Edgar's father, Pappy Baxter finally rose from his grave.
"Heya kids, I'm finally back!" Pappy exclaimed with pure bliss "When do I get to see that grandchild of mine?"
That is when the police showed up out of nowhere, immediately rounding Pappy up and hauling him off to god knows where they brought the ghosts breaking the "No Ghosts" law.
"Huh, wonder if we'll ever see my dad again." Edgar questioned.
Oh finally, here comes our protagonist. Now we wait patiently for Aria to deliver this baby.
"Too bad there aren't any hospitals open anywhere in this country. We're going to have to deliver this baby on the couch!" Edgar said with fear in his voice.
So let's finally meet the protagonist of this first generation, Edward Baxter.
Aria got right to work taking care of the baby. After all, she's not exactly sure that Edgar will step up and be a responsible father.
In fact, Edgar just stood over the bassinet holding his newborn and just slowly turned to the camera....
"Now that's what I call a baby!" Edgar said with a wink before walking away from the child.
A few months later, the Baxter family's prayers had been answered. Swimming has been legalized in Simerica, they could now own their own swimming pool.
"Hey wait a minute, how can we even afford a swimming pool?" Aria questioned Edgar "Your job at the local McDonald's doesn't pay you well enough to afford something like this!"
"Well here's the fun part my dear." Edgar responded with pride in his voice.
Turns out the first 'Expansion' to come to Simerica brought forth several job opportunities. Edgar has finally decided to follow his dream of being a police officer.
"911 what's your emergency?" Edgar asked as he picked up the distress call "You're being murdered? That's impossible, they can't murder you. That's illegal. This call is reserved for emergencies, Ma'am."
No one ever said Edgar would be a good cop.
Sometime later, there was a knock on the door of the Baxter residence.
Standing at the door was a Sixamsian, native of the planet Sixam (In case you couldn't put two and two together).
"Howdy neighbor, don't know if you heard, but the war between our people has come to an end." The Alien said with a smile "This means my kind can live on this planet along side you humans!"
"Well I'm always happy to meet new people!" Edgar responded with a firm handshake.
The year is now 2016, Edward is now a growing toddler.
Aria of course spends her time tirelessly helping develop Edward's growing brain and doing a plum fine job at it I might add.
"Off to work, hun." Edgar said as he paced by his family.
"What's with the gown?" Aria asked "You wear that to the Station now?"
"Of course not, I quit that job. I'm a doctor now." Edgar responded as he headed out the door "They didn't even interview me, they just threw me a scalpel and said they needed new Doctors ASAP."
I am now worried about the country's healthcare system.
In the year 2020, Edgar was able to buy a bigger house with his Doctor paychecks in Willow Creek
Here we see 6 year old Edward, practicing the violin as Aria thought he'd make for a great musician.
One day he'll be great, that day isn't today.
"What do you mean you just quit your job?!" Aria shouted angrily "I thought you said being a Doctor was your greatest dream!"
"Things have changed babe." Edgar responded with pride. "My dream is with
The Crew."
In the last few years Windenburg went from a village that didn't have indoor plumbing to a sprawling city with a bumping late night scene. Edgar quit his job to join
The Crew which was at the time, the most popular group to hit the nightclubs of Windenburg.
I don't personally like the fact that Edgar quit his job for this, but by golly,
The Crew sure are cooler than cool.
It's okay, Edgar eventually matured enough to quit that silly phase and get back to work. Now he's a Scientist.
The year is now 2030, Edward is now a strapping 16 year old
man. I say 'man' because he'll get angry if you say he's still a kid.
Edward still has a lot to learn about the world around him though.
"Top of the morning, fellas!" Edward exclaimed to the two punks he wanted to befriend.
"Keep walking you dweeb" The punk with the baseball bat ordered.
"Ah, sorry for bothering you." Edward said, trying to keep his cool as he runs away in fear.
He didn't have the greatest luck with girls back then either. Like here he is with Nina Caliente.
"Hey Nina, wanna go to the Rattlesnake Bar tonight?" Edward asked suavely.
"Ech, as if." Nina sneered, dejecting him.
"How about you, Dina?" Edward said, moving his goalposts over.
"Buzz off, creep." Dina responded.
Sometime later, Edgar heard a knock at the door. Of course Edgar just had to see who was bothering him.
"Hey Neighbor, did you hear about San Myshuno? They finally finished construction on the place. It sure beats the crud out of Willow Creek" Edgar's Neighbor said excitedly.
"San Myshuno? Last I heard that was nothing more than a toxic waste dump!" Edgar responded with, "Sounds like the perfect place to bring the family!"
He's not wrong, San Myshuno really has stepped up from the toxic waste dump that was once known as a dumping zone for the Mafia only a few decades ago. Now it's a bustling metropolis.
That's when the Baxters were approached by a pretty shady looking fellow. What's his name I may ask?
"Heya folks, Mayor Victor Feng here. Welcome to San Myshuno!" Mayor Feng said with a warm smile.
"Hi Mayor Feng, I'm Edgar Baxter, prominent art critic." Edgar responded with.
"Art critic? What happened to science?!" Aria asked.
"Well I'll cut to the chase, fella. I might be the Mayor right now but I'm aiming my sights high." Mayor Feng went on, "I'm planning on running for the Presidency, I hope to be the First President of Simerica! I intend to bring a sense of law and order to this lawless country."
"Law and Order sounds great, I got mugged four times last week. I only survived the last one because the mugger stabbed me in the scar tissue I had from the time I got stabbed 3 years ago." Edgar explained.
"Wait wait wait, none of this makes any sort of sense." Aria interrupted.
"You're telling me that Simerica has been an established country for almost a hundred years." She went on "And it's only after we get our first major city that we're finally getting a President? You're telling me for all these decades we've never had a leader of any sort?! Yet we have a Police Force?! Who came up with the laws that the Police follow in this country?" Aria continues to rant.
Everyone stood around in complete stunned silence until Victor finally answered.
"Well when you say it out loud like that, it sure sounds stupid as sin." Victor says bluntly.
However in that moment, a couple of cops rushed the area and handcuffed Aria.
"Ma'am, you're under arrest for asking too many stupid questions! Comply or die!" The Cop orders.
As Aria is lifted onto the helicopter all we can hear is her screaming.
"What did I even do?!" Aria shouts into the sky.
Edgar just stood around in silence.
"I wonder if I'll ever see her again." Edgar asks with fear.
Comments
Generation 1: Chapter 1: A Rude Welcome
The year is now 2032, Edward Baxter is now 18, a real adult now. He decided to spend the night of his birthday at the local nightclub with a few friends, including his weirdly dark and creepy looking friend, Igor Ibbotson. It appears Igor doesn't have the courage to talk to the equally weirdly dark creepy looking girl at the club and needs his pal to work as his wingman.
Edward approached the girl for his buddy.
"Ey yo, my pal over there has been trying to work the nerve up to ask you out." Edward said, breaking the ice. "You should totally give him a shot."
The girl turned around to see creepy Igor sitting at the bar behind her before finally responding.
"Okay." said the Girl, leaving it as simple as that.
Edward went back to Igor to tell him the good news.
"Guess who's got a date with the creepy girl in the shadows of your dreams!" Edward exclaimed.
Igor showed his appreciation to his friend "Thank you so much Edward. You have done a great service for me."
Edward continued questioning Igor "But tell me, you look like you could get any girl here. Why do you want the creepy girl who's always hissing and growling in class?"
Igor just kind of chuckled sinisterly before responding "The less you know, the better, my friend."
With that, Igor suddenly turned into a bat and flew out of the bar with his date doing the same.
Edward just stood there after Igor had cleared the building before letting out a giggle "Oh that Igor, what a quirky fella!" he said before heading back to the dancefloor.
Edward was out partying all night and didn't return home until the wee hours of the morning. As he entered the home he saw his Dad standing at the dining room table with a birthday cake.
"Sup" Edgar said, "I made a cake."
Edward groaned at the sight "Can't you at least throw me a party?"
"You're lucky you're getting a cake. The DJ gig hasn't been going too well." Edgar responded with disappointment in his voice.
"DJ? I thought you were an Art Critic." Edward snapped back.
"I have dreams too, kid! Now blow out your candles!" Edgar barked back at his son.
After eating the cake, Edward sat on the couch with his Dad as the two spoke.
"So tell me, have any plans now that you're an adult?" Edgar enthusiastically asked his son.
Edward just kind of shrugged before saying "Well I intend to find a job so I could move out eventually."
Without skipping a beat, Edgar responded "Well, how about now?"
Edward had to process the moment for a second before he could speak "Excuse me?"
THE CITY OF SAN MYSHUNO!
Not this nice, city in the sky, Metropolis though. I'm talking about this area where you're likely to get shot.
Edward walked into his new musty smelling apartment building looking around at what he has to work with.
He simply looked around at the furniture that was left for him (which is nice of the landlord in all honesty) before saying "Well at least I have a TV."
Edward simply walked over to the piano and said "I'm going to make the most of this!" before cracking his knuckles, and performing a flawless rendition of Moonlight Sonata.
12 seconds later there was an angry pounding at the door.
"It is 3:30 in the afternoon, some of us are trying to sleep!" Said the angry neighbor.
Not being one to turn down the opportunity to meet a new neighbor, Edward welcomed Raj Rasoya into his apartment!
Who of course wasted no time at all showing Edward that he is not a cool dude.
Edward wiped the juice off his face before spouting back "I don't know if this is how people in San Myshuno greet each other, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"
A little while later, Edgar came barging in unannounced. It appears he wanted to visit his son.....only a few hours after kicking him out.
Only for him to be greeted with Edward's new roommates.....The Rat.
"Son.....I don't know if you noticed this yet." Edgar explains "But you have vermin in here."
Edward shrugged it off "Yeah, I was thinking of naming him Ringo the Rat." The first rat didn't bother Edward, but he certainly got shocked at the sight of more and more rats coming out of the wall.
Knock knock, here comes the new neighbors welcoming Edward to his apartment!.....Oh boy, Raj is back....and he brought his mother.
"Eek, you have rats in your apartment!" Geeta shrieked.
Edgar grumbled at the comment "Well let me see what your place looks like before you criticize my son." he said, defending his boy's place.
Edward sat down on the couch with his new neighbors and noticed his neighbor, Jesminder Bheeda sitting at his piano instead.
"Why are you sitting over there?" Edward asked curiously.
"Not enough places for me to sit, this doesn't bother me." Jesminder calmly explained.
Jesminder, being easily the nicest neighbor to visit today actually made real conversation with Edward instead of judging him.
"So Edward, what do you do for a living?" Jesminder warmly asked.
Edward was happy to answer her question "Well, I was hoping on getting into Politics. That sounds like it might be fun."
Geeta scoffed at the comment "You? A Politician?" She scoffs once again "No one would vote for someone who lives with rats."
Edward immediately fired back "Well you'll be dead in a few years so we'll see who's laughing in the end." Edward said, with in fact, no chill.
Then for some reason Raj just picked a fight with Edgar. Literally no reason, just straight up attacked the man.
"Go for the throat Raj!" Geeta shouted "Don't show weakness, bring the Rasoya family name some honor!"
The fight went on for entirely too long before Edgar finally threw Raj to the ground and was declared the winner.
"Yes before you ask, I was a professional boxer for a week before becoming a DJ." Edgar said, wiping off his knuckles.
Edward of course made sure to thank the Bheeda's for being friendly today. At least he has SOME good neighbors.
Then of course apparently this was all too much for Raj as he grabbed his chest in pain, before dropping dead from a sudden heart attack.
As Geeta cried for her son, Edgar got up and started cheering.
"Heh, yeah! That's what you get for ruining my son's welcome wagon!" Edgar cheered, his cheering being drowned out by Geeta's crying.
Didn't expect the Grim Reaper to be introduced in only Chapter One, but here he is in the flesh to take Raj Rasoya's spirit to the great beyond.
After all the commotion was over, the guests headed home after a successful (depends on how you view it) welcome wagon.
"Boy that sure was a blast!" Edgar shouted as he entered the hallway of the apartment.....Followed by more tears....
Edward just looked around his apartment building and waved to his guest "Well thanks for showing up to my welcome wagon!"
"Hey hey, don't mention it! Was an honor to be here!" The Grim Reaper exclaimed before leaving with Raj's soul.
To be Continued.
A few months after declaring that he'd get involved in Politics, Edward has awoken from a deep slumber and has vowed to make this the day he begins his long journey to being the most hated man in the world. Why did it take him several months after his declaration you might ask?
Well that apartment fire set him back a couple grand.
Faulty electricity meant he couldn't shower consistently and I mean are you really going to vote for a smelly guy? I know I wouldn't.
But today's the day, Edward spent all night on Wikipedia researching how to get your foot in the door of politics while simultaneously lurking on Twitter to find out what everyone has been complaining about recently. I'd say he's qualified.
You see, turns out all Edward needs to do is just run around and protest everywhere and eventually people will get his name in their mouths. But of course every wannabe politician needs a cause to support. Edward chose, of course, Simoleons for Everyone, because everyone likes money...He's my kind of guy already.
Oooooh, looks like Edward has his first person to shout that megaphone at.
"Ha ha, what a loser!" Nancy Landgraab heckled as she jogged past "You should get yourself a real job like someone who isn't a bum!"
That's when something clicked in Nancy's head, "Hey wait a minute." She paused "I love money!" and in that moment, Nancy Landgraab was now a very vocal supporter of Edward Baxter.
Didn't take too long for Edward to amass a pretty decently sized crowd. Guess he knows how to speak to the people.....yes, with promises of money.
After a long day of protesting, Edward finally headed home, only to be stopped by Miko Ojo who had been taking part in the protest with him.
Twenty minutes later, Edward found a new passion. Sleeping with as many women who practically throw themselves at him because he's literally the only politician worth throwing yourself at. Hey, he was going to get corrupted anyways. That's politics, baby!
"Dude, Politics rocks!" Edward said before continuing with his life.
So now that was Edward's life, going around and protesting wherever he doesn't get tossed out by the police, and soaking up whatever praise he can get.
"Aw yeah, Edward Baxter! Now THAT'S a politician I can back." Marcus Flex cheered.
Edward just smiled and waved to the adoring fan "Thanks bro, your applause is what gets me out of bed in the morning."
Later that night, Edward was in deep thought. And by deep thought I mean, that thought was "Why didn't I do this earlier?"
Of course in between the many protests, and many romantic rendezvous, Edward would head to the gym to pump his guns.
"I'm going to pretend you're that football player who gave me a wedgie in the 8th grade!" Edward shouted before slugging the boxing bag.......with a very weak punch...more like a tap.
In case you needed to know where Edward got his advice involving the ladies, here he is. Mr Don Lothario.
Edward kept this up for the next two years of his life. He'd show up to spread the good word of money for everyone.
Sleep with anyone who was willing.
Then go home and rinse repeat.
"You like Simoleons for Everyone too?" Katrina Caliente said to her old pal, Nancy.
"Of course I do, As long as I'm still richer than everyone else!" Nancy shouts at the rally.
Can't argue with that.
Boy this sure gave Edward an idea.
However it was in this moment that Edward realized something...........................................................He was pretty sleazy even by sleazy politician standards. He knew he couldn't use his power and influence this way, so Edward changed his ways right then and there to be the leader he's TRULY wanted to be.
"Nancy you leave, Katrina you stay." Edward said, embarking onto his new path of being a less sleazy politician.
However in a penthouse nearby, trouble was a brewing.
"Edward Baxter.....The only man standing in my way of world domination." Victor Feng said, looking down at one of Edward's rally's going on down there with a fury.
"There's only one way I'll ever become President of this forsaken country, and that's by being the only candidate!" Victor fumed as he made his way through his penthouse. "I'll have to make sure to stop him with any scummy low brow tactic I can think of to make sure my plan comes to fruition!"
Lily Feng just sighed as she sat on the couch "You know, I had to work up the courage to speak to the low class video rental clerk just to rent this movie. Now are we going to watch it or what?"
"Curses woman!" Victor shouts "Don't you see how this man could jeopardize our life's work?! Wait, is that Dwayne Johnson? Curses woman! How did you know that his movies are my one weakness?!" Victor continues to rant before he and the Mrs settle back to watch that movie...THEN he'll get back to scheming.
To be continued.
Edward Baxter sat alone in his apartment watching TV late at night.
I.....Think he was watching the TV that is. He truly is an enigma of a man.
"Hello, Mayor Feng here, breaking into your apartment because I can do what I want." Victor Feng said after casually strolling into Edward's apartment.
"Hi, Edward Baxter here, confused about you casually committing a felony." Edward said rather stoically to the Mayor.
"Edward let me cut to the chase here, I've been preparing to be the head of Simerica's Government all my life." Mayor Feng explained.
Edward just raised an eyebrow "We've only had a Government for about four years now."
"AAAAND I've been preparing to lead a potential Simerican Government all my life!" Victor snapped back at him.
"And if you keep standing in the way of my takeover, I will destroy you." Victor said with a warm smile "I mean like....literally destroy you. Second I get elected I'll have some guys smash your door down and take you down for whatever reason I make up!"
Edward just soaked up everything Victor said and frowned "That's a lot of threats for someone who's smiling."
"I know...." Victor said menacingly before stomping out of the apartment, leaving Edward to sit on the threats that were hurled his way.
That's when Katrina Caliente stepped out of the room to see what all the commotion was about.
"Get back to bed, babe." Edward said without even turning around.
THE WILLOW CREEK PRISON!!.....Which is where Victor Feng should be at this point, instead someone else is held here....
Edward stood outside his mother's jail cell for his regular visitation.
"Hey Mom guess what, I'm about to announce that I'm running for Mayor of San Myshuno!" Edward exclaimed to his incarcerated mother.
"Oh that's wonderful sweetie." Aria gushed to her son, "Hopefully you're able to help out as many people as you can when you get elected." She continues with a frown "You know, except me. Turns out asking stupid questions is punishable by life in prison."
That's when the Prison Warden showed up to chastise Edward in a particularly over the top screeching speech "AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
Edward groaned in response "Oh come on, is visiting your parent in prison a crime in this country?"
"Edward please be careful." Aria responded "Visiting your parents isn't a crime, but you just asked a 'stupid question' right in front of a cop."
"Good point, I'll be leaving now." Edward said before running out of the prison in fear.
THE NEXT MORNING! Edward headed out to the busiest part of San Myshuno to hold a press conference.
"Alright folks, you all know me. Don't let my obscene hand gestures fool you, I am here for the utmost serious reasons." Edward said to his audience.
"For the last few years I have been rallying the people here because quite honestly, this country blows and we need to fix it!" Edward said, making some pretty obscene hand gestures.
At least he seems to have an audience forming around him. Two people is a good turn out in a country that has JUST gotten its first taste of politics.
"And THAT'S why today I'm formally beginning my Mayoral Campaign!" Edward announced to his excited audience.....
That now consists of one person because the other woman left. Like I said, great turn out!
"Well at least there's one person out there that was into the announcement." Edward said while being totally bummed by the turnout.
"Actually Ed." Katrina responded....with a bit of a glow. "I'm just here to tell you that I'm pregnant."
"Ah, nice." Edward replied "Now if you excuse me, I'll give you the appropriate response to that."
Edward then screamed a blood curdling scream at the top of his lungs.
"I know?! Aren't you excited?" Katrina gushed about the reveal.
To be Continued.
Remake of your legacy? Does this mean.. Gunnar??!!??!
Sea may rise, sky may fall, My love will never die..
My heart, my heart, My drowning heart, Oh all the tears I've cried
Oh I may weep forevermore, My love will never die..
@Ellupelluellu Well, a remake of my earliest generations since my Graphics card at the time was.................................weak compared to the one I've had since 2019. But yes, I'll be reposting old screenshots of Gunnar when I get to him, plus new ones I'll take to flesh out his story some more.
Also, don't know if you noticed Gunnar's grandparents at the beginning of Chapter One.
So not too long ago Simerica finally legalized Dining.....................Yes, it took them forever to legalize something so innocent. But hey, the Simericans can finally go out to eat at nice restaurants.....Like this one! Chez Llama!
Who's in there you might ask? Well it's Nancy and Geoffrey Landgraab celebrating their anniversary! How sweet. Nothing can ruin this moment.
"Nancy Landgraab, I'm Ed Baxter." Edward said barging into the dining area "Remember me? We almost had an affair?"
"You almost had a what?!" Geoffrey says after choking on his drink.
"Can you leave us alone? I'm trying to celebrate an important day with my husband." Nancy sneered.
"But I'm running for Mayor and I want your help with the campaign, if you eventually help me get elected President I could easily make you pay two simoleons a year in taxes." Edward responded as a way to scratch Nancy's back.
"Wipe my taxes?! Come sit down, Ed. Let's talk." Nancy said smugly.
"Alright if you want to get elected you're going to have to lie your plum off." Nancy laid it on smoothly.
"You want me to lie? I can't lie, I didn't become a politician to lie to people!" Edward retorted.
"Listen, you're not lying maliciously." Nancy attempted to explain herself. "You're lying for the good of the planet. You tell people things that you'll do no matter how impossible they sound in an attempt to get them to believe in you. Trust me, no one actually expects you to keep the promises you make."
"You make it sound so easy." Edward says in astonishment.
Nancy snaps her fingers at Edward with a wink "Trust me, you don't get where I am without knowing how to manipulate people."
In the next few months, Edward has gone around building a respectable campaign....Mostly based on lies, some half-truths in there, but mostly lies.
"Hey you." Edward says to the woman typically seen busking on the street "If you vote for me I'll finally make it illegal to throw tomatoes at buskers."
"That would actually benefit me very well." The woman responds "I'm deathly allergic to tomatoes."
"Now you look like someone who would love lower taxes." Edward said to the girl on the street.
"I'm not even old enough to vote." The girl said.
"Then tell your parents to vote for me for lower taxes!" Edward replied.
"I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. I have no idea what you would want from a politician." Edward said to the man in front of him.
"You slept with my wife." Bjorn Bjergsen snarkily replied.
"Well good, if you vote for me I'll make it illegal for Politicians to have affairs with random women." Edward said "AND I'll let you punch me in the face!"
"Now THAT'S a politician I can get behind!" Bjorn exclaimed with joy.
A few months later, Edward took Katrina Caliente out to dinner at Chez Llama.
Why's Edward doing that? Well Edward's father raised him right. Here's what Edgar once said.
"Now son, if you EVER get a woman pregnant you must marry her and accept your responsibilities." Edgar said to a young Edward "You're probably wondering if that's how your Mom and I got together, that's wrong. Your mother and I did the RIGHT thing and waited until marriage to do the monster mash."
I think young Edward got it through his head.
Katrina probably wasn't wanting to go out with Edward. But then she found out he's running for Mayor and now suddenly she's all flirty and stuff. Hope she's not just dating him for material reasons. Would Katrina Caliente date someone for the wrong reasons?
"Oh man, I can't wait to see what they serve at this fancy restaurant!" Edward exclaimed as the waitor brought their food to their table.
Edward and Katrina just sneered at the food on their plates before looking at each other.
"Is this even legally food?" Katrina asked.
"If I'm elected Mayor I'll have this place torn down in favor of a McDonald's." Edward responded.
Don't know if it's the free expensive meal, or the potential of dating a mayor talking, but Katrina's having a great time tonight.
Meanwhile on the other side of the restaurant, Bella Goth and Mayor Feng are warming up at the fire place.
"Curse that man!" Victor exclaims. "Everywhere I go, there's Edward Baxter and that stupid smiling face of his. I swear, I'll stop him from interfering in my plans!"
"Dude." Bella calmly responds "I'm just trying to enjoy a fancy dinner with my husband, do you REALLY have to make everything political?"
After dinner Edward and Katrina left the restaurant with full bellies and a better relationship.
"Hey I had a great time." Katrina answered with a genuine smile.
And then they proceeded to make out in front of everyone.
"Wanna go back to my place and do things that'll make the gods themselves lose all respect for us?" Edward asked.
"Do you even have to ask?" Katrina responded.
Oh look, the Bjergsens are enjoying a fancy dinner as well!
"Clara please tell me.....That's my kid right?" Bjorn asked with concern.
I'd like to leave this ambiguous, but that's certainly Bjorn's kid, don't get worried.
A few weeks later, Edgar Baxter came to visit his son once again.
"Oh....what's this?" Edgar asks curiously.
"This is my girlfriend, Dad." Edward answered truthfully "I followed your advice dad, I accepted my responsibility and am planning on marrying the woman I knocked up!"
"I didn't actually expect you to follow through with it, Son." Edgar said with concern.
"Didn't we go to High School together?" Edgar asked.
"Don't make this weird, Dad." Edward replied.
More months pass by and Edward has done literally anything he can think of to get the people on his side.
"Hey Paolo, if you and your friends vote for me, I'll open more nightclubs for your club to hang out at." Edward promised.
"Oh snap bro, that would be amazing!" Paolo responded warmly.
"And Gunther, if you vote for me I'll make it illegal to make fun of someone else's mustache!" Edward exclaimed to Gunther Munch.
"That's fantastic! I was about to shave it after all the ridicule I've gotten over it." Gunther gushes.
"And Bob I...........I......" Edward says to Bob Pancakes, not actually knowing what to promise this broken man.
"Bob, if you vote for me I promise I will do everything in my power to make your life better in every aspect!" Edward promised.
Bob just stood there in stunned silence before finally responding.
"I don't think you're actually going to try and make my life better." Bob responded. "But, the fact that you're the first person to attempt to help me fix my life up.....That means a lot.....It means a whole lot." Bob said on the verge of tears.
Sometime later, Edward and Katrina were sitting on the couch when Katrina just HAD to bring something up.
"Okay, so what's up with the sunglasses?" Katrina asked.
"Nancy told me that voters are REALLY into my image of being the chill laid back guy compared to the serious looking business man, Victor Feng." Edward Answered. "So she suggested that I start wearing sunglasses to make me look even cooler."
That's when Nancy Landgraab barged into the room.
"Ey yo, Billionaire casually kicking your door down." Nancy said as she made her way over to the couch. "Edward you'll never believe this, ever since you put those sunglasses on you've been polling even better than before! We need you to look cooler, can you let that hair flow freely?"
And just like that, Edward started skyrocketing in the polls once more.
Election Night 2034. Edward and Katrina sat on the couch waiting for the results of the election.
"I just have to ask." Katrina said "What's up with the stupid hat?"
"They didn't have any party hats so I'm wearing this in anticipation." Edward replied.
"This just in!" Says the anchorman on the tiny television "The results are in, the next mayor of San Myshuno is Edward Baxter!"
"Well snap, looks like I'm the Mayor now!" Edward cheered.
"Sweet, now pucker up so this will be the second time I kiss a Mayor." Katrina casually reveals.
"Oh I got something better than that." Edward replies....
Edward then got down on one knee and pulled out the best looking ring a man running for Mayor could afford and presented it to Katrina, who happily accepted.
"Katrina, you've made me the happiest man to wear a hat as stupid as this." Edward said as he held his love.
To be continued.
Nice, I was fan of Gunnar (<3) and Luz
Oh you mean Geoffrey and Nancy???!!
Sea may rise, sky may fall, My love will never die..
My heart, my heart, My drowning heart, Oh all the tears I've cried
Oh I may weep forevermore, My love will never die..
No No, chapter one. That was the prologue. Gunnar's grandparents are vampires.
Sea may rise, sky may fall, My love will never die..
My heart, my heart, My drowning heart, Oh all the tears I've cried
Oh I may weep forevermore, My love will never die..
Previously on The DoodlyDoofus Legacy Extravaganza....Edward Baxter got elected Mayor. Now let's see how Edward Baxter's life has changed since being elected. Here we have Mayor Baxter in his new office, doing his Mayoral work.
"So.......What does a Mayor do again?" Edward asked as he stared blankly at his computer screen.
"Mayor Baxter, I'm your new advisor. I'm going to make sure your administration runs smoothly." The Advisor says with a chipper smile.
"What the plum is an advisor?!" Edward asks once more.
Later that day Katrina invited her daughters over for lunch to tell them the big news.
"I just don't know why you would marry this guy." Dina Caliente sneered at her mother.
"Worse, I can't believe he got you pregnant." Nina piles on.
Katrina just rolled her eyes at her daughters before responding "Nina, can you even talk since you don't even know who got YOU pregnant?"
"Yes I can mother, yes I can." Nina said smugly.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention that Katrina is a world renowned musician. Kinda important to mention that detail here. She's gotta make her money somehow.
Meanwhile at Center Park! The Site of The Baxter wedding! Now a cloud in the sky, what a perfect day!.....Well I mean it's always clear skies since for some reason Simerica has no season other than bright and sunny. Wonder if that'll ever change.
Edward met with his many wedding guests including Paolo Rocca.
"So Paolo, I'll just let you know right now that plans for a new Partihaus hangout have been confirmed. Construction is due to begin soon." Edward said to his constituent.
"Thanks Mayor, you're fantastic!" Paolo said with glee.
That's when Paolo approached Nina.
"So Nina, since we're having a kid soon, you think it's time to take the next step in our relationship?" Paolo inquired to Nina.
"Uhh, who are you again?" Nina asked.
"The father of your child, you don't even remember me?!" Paolo questioned.
"Nah fam. Never even heard of you." Nina responded.
Of course Edgar was there to see his son get married.
"Son, your mother would be so proud of you if she were here to see you." Edgar said with pride "I'm not saying she's dead or anything, but you should probably visit her and let you know you're a married man."
Yes, the Bheeda's are here because they were the only neighbors that were nice to Edward when he moved in a few years back. Also you'll probably be happy to know that Geeta Rasoya is dead as well! Things are looking great for Edward!
Of course, Bob Pancakes was invited as well. Edward is doing everything he can to make sure his campaign promise to Bob is kept.
"Oh Bob Pancakes, I've heard great things about you!" Edgar exclaimed.
Bob was almost speechless, almost. "You.....You did? That's great! No one has ever said anything like that to me before." Bob said cheerfully.
Of course Nancy was there to see the man she helped get elected get married.
"Gotta say Ed, smart move on getting married." Nancy said "Your approval ratings are going up after that!"
"Well I mean, I'm not getting married for political reasons though." Edward responded.
"So when were you going to tell me we're broken up?" Don Lothario asked Katrina.
"I actually said that about 9 months ago." Katrina responded.
"Eh that's cool, I've been cheating on you with at least four different women since then anyways." Don casually revealed. Classic Don.
Well now it was finally time for the marriage itself. Which was pretty nice since they decided to do it at sunset.
"I can't believe you started the ceremony before we could get to our seats!" Edgard exclaimed.
And now Edward (20) and Katrina (38) are married. Mazel Tov!
"Well son, you're Married. It's all downhill from here." Edgar advised his son.
"I just got elected Mayor, I sincerely hope it's not all downhill from here." Edward responded.
After getting home from the wedding, Edward asked Katrina what she wanted to do next. The answer was, go to the hospital.
"Boy am I glad we finally got a Hospital built around here." Edward said to the woman at the desk "My Dad says I was born on the couch!"
Katrina waddled past and pushed Edward out of the way.
"GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" Katrina screamed to the high heavens.
Poor woman, they'll actually make a pregnant woman waddle all the way to the delivery room.
"Don't worry Ma'am, this new fangled technology will help you deliver that baby with little to no problems!" The Doctor assured her.
Unfortunately there was at least one problem. Don't think that's supposed to happen.
And on that day in 2035, Trina Baxter was born.
Oh wait, and so was Rina Baxter......Yes, they had Twins. Lord help them.
To be continued.
Well it's been a few months since Mr and Mrs Baxter tied the knot. Since Mr Mayor is off doing Mayor things, this first chunk of the chapter is about Mrs Katrina Baxter. I wonder how those Mayor things are going right now?
Let's cut to those "Mayor Things" for a moment and see how that's going.
"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" The Mayor's Advisor shouts as she helps Edward extinguish the fire
"LESS TALKING, MORE EXTINGUISHING!" Edward shouted at the top of his lungs as the fire closed in on them.
There was an opening in the fire which gave the Advisor a chance to make a break for it, leaving Edward behind.
"YOU PLUM, YOU LEFT ME TO DIE!!!!" Edward shouted with a guttural scream.
Meh, I bet it's nothing but boring political talk going on at the office today. This is Katrina's day! In fact, today there's a big flea market going on outside their apartment building so Katrina realized that the best thing to do right here is to play her guitar for the people. It makes the people feel better AND it helps boost album sales! Everybody wins!
"Tips aren't needed, but they're appreciated." Katrina calmly states to the shoppers at the market.
"Aren't you a famous musician? And isn't your husband the Mayor? Why would you need tips?" A passerby stated.
"You're charging 250 simoleons for this stupid Robot toy?! That's outrageous!" Katrina exclaimed to the merchant.
"I'll buy two. Edward will get a kick out of this." Katrina said as she handed a fat stack of cash to the merchant.
Aww poor Travis Scott, he must be homeless to be sleeping on the bench like this.
You see, Katrina's used to having boytoys in great shape due to her being the bread winner. But now that she's the Mayor's wife, it's time to be the trophy wife that she is.
Edward casually walked into the apartment after a long day.
"Katrina, you have NO IDEA, just how crazy today is. In fact my tale of survival is so crazy that I will save it for another day because you'd never believe it." Edward said as he walked through the apartment looking for his wife.
That's when he noticed she was headed into the bathtub.
"Oh helloooo." Edward said as he walked in.
Well after a bath that I cannot show here without repercussions, Edward decided to head out to the flea market himself to see what's up and of course to speak to his constituents.
"Travis Scott, I love your music." Edward said to Travis.
"I'm not that Travis Scott." Travis corrected Edward.
"Whatever, if you continue to support me I'll make sure more homeless shelters are built so you don't have to sleep on the street." Edward said with a firm handshake.
"But I'm not Homeless." Travis said in defense.
"Mortimer Goth?!" Edward said in surprise "I Sure could use your support!"
"Mortimer Goth?!" Travis said, also in surprise "Can I get your autograph?!"
"Well I'm already a fan of yours since I got that nice tax break. You already have my support." Mortimer said to Edward "But I'm afraid I don't interact with the homeless." He said to Travis.
"Gee Mr Goth, that means a lot to me." Edward said with pride in his voice.
"Why does everyone think I'm Homeless?" Travis moped to himself.
Victor Feng casually walked into Edward's apartment sometime later.
"Don't mind me, just a millionaire barging into your apartment unannounced." Victor Feng said bluntly.
"Ah Edward, or should I say, Mr Mayor. Congratulations on a well deserved win!" Victor congratulated Edward.
"Wow, you sound pretty happy for someone who lost the Mayoral election." Edward states with surprise.
"Oh on the contrary, I never ran for reelection!" Victor explained "This was all part of my master plan."
"While you were focusing all your energy on running for Mayor, I ran my campaign for the Senate. I'm now Senator Victor Feng." Senator Feng explains some more.
"You sure you did that as part of your master plan or were you just afraid that you might lose your reelection if you actually had some competition?" Edward said pretty straight forwardly while Victor struggled to respond.
"That's it isn't it?" Edward asked "You seriously thought you were going to lose."
"Shut up." Victor Feng said in defense.
"Hi, I'm Katrina." Katrina said after sitting at the table throughout this entire conversation.
Big news in the Baxter household! The year is 2037 and after two magnificent years of serving as the Mayor of San Myshuno, The Baxter family now has the money to move out of this rat infested dump! So long Ringo the Rat, Hello Ritzy glamor stuff!
But seriously though, goodbye Ringo the Rat. You were fun.
Finally, Edward lives on the better side of San Myshuno. Good thing too, he was tired of getting mugged. Turns out shouting "But I'm the Mayor!" doesn't stop the muggers, it just makes them angrier. Just check out this nice new penthouse they're living in. Swanky.
Guess we gotta reintroduce the characters now after a two year timeskip huh? Well here's Edward Baxter, 22 years old. As Nancy Landgraab has been running his campaign and...basically telling him what to do, she told him how the rebellious look is doing wonders for his approval ratings. Turns out the people in this city REALLY appreciate a Mayor who looks like he knows how to party! So of course here's Edward after growing his hair out and appropriating all things leather into his apparel. Fun fact, Edward hates the leather chaps very much!
Up next is Katrina Baxter at age 40. Pregnant again, might as well try to get all the kids they can while she's still....able. Things haven't just been great for Edward, the whole mayor thing has really given a bump to her career as well. She was always an artist that sold very well, but now that her music is played at Edward's rallies they get a huge bump in sales! Conflict of interest? Maybe. A fun way of adding to their networth? TOTALLY!
Then finally here's young Trina (front) and Rina (back). Both about two years old at this point.................Not much to say about them. They're toddlers. What do you expect? I mean I guess I could say that Rina is less fussy when it comes to bed time and Trina knows a few more words than Rina, those few extra words being swears that she hears Edward shouting in anger when playing games on his computer. But still, they're toddlers. Not much going on with them.
Edward of course really enjoys the bar that was installed in the apartment. He tries not to drink too much, but hey, he's the Mayor. He can do what he wants.
What's installed here that interests Katrina you might ask? Maybe this fancy cool Karaoke machine! Now she can be egotistical as all possible and do nothing but sing to her own music all day long and her neighbors can't do anything about it!
Edward watched the kids playing with their new....supersized dollhouse and just nodded.
"Boy, these tots are adorable." Edward said before walking out of the room. Indeed they are Edward, indeed they are.
Oh well if it isn't Edward's all great and powerful campaign manager, Nancy Landgraab! I am legally obligated to say those words or else Nancy will withdraw her support from Edward's campaign.
"Edward, you'll be happy to know that your approval ratings are much higher than Victor Feng's have ever been!" Nancy exclaimed.
"That's great, can I take off the sunglasses?" Edward asked "I tried taking them off one day but my eyes just aren't used to any sort of natural light since I've been wearing these for about three years straight."
"Hmm, afraid the Sunglasses are a big reason as to why you remain so popular. They gotta stay." Nancy affirms him.
"Can I at least take off the leather chaps? I don't like the way some people look at me in them." Edward complained.
"About that, no. Your approval rating jumped 11 points after you added those to your wardrobe." Nancy continued.
"Also just gotta say, smart move getting pregnant again. Voters love seeing candidates with big loving families." Nancy added.
"We didn't get pregnant for political reasons though." Katrina objected.
Another thing Katrina really likes about this apartment, a nice full body mirror in her walk in closet.
This isn't some stereotypical thing saying only women enjoy full body mirrors, as you can see, Edward also ADORES this mirror.
"I need to hit the gym though." Edward said while gazing at his physique.
Katrina walked into the Toddler's room when she came to a realization. These toddlers ARE indeed adorable. Seems as if Edward was right about that statement.
There was a knock on the door the next day. It seems as if some visitors came to welcome the Baxters. It also appears that Rina was there to introduce herself first. Oh you silly child.
Who are our new neighbors you might ask? Well there's Lily Feng, the wife of Edward's political rival. And the Prison Warden, another one of Edward's sworn rivals for other reasons.
"So I know our husbands hate each other's guts." Katrina introduces herself with. "But don't let that mean that we can't be friends."
"Well thank you, but please know I'm just angry because I REALLY hate kids." Lily responds with.
"I get what you're saying, wasn't a fan of kids the first time around." Katrina adds "But I really warmed up to these tots this time around."
Katrina's off to work and....boy I hope she gets a promotion, because that outfit doesn't do wonders for her baby bump.
Meanwhile, Edward was off rallying around the city to keep support for his political career going.
"I sure hope I can count on you to get to the polls when re-election time comes around." Edward said shaking Moira Fyres' hand. "We can use all the support can get!"
"And with your help, we'll shoot for the stars!" Edward exclaimed.
"That sounds silly......I'm all in favor of that!" Moira said, giving Edward her full support.
"Hey if I vote for you can you help me patch things up with my Mom, Nancy Landgraab?" Johnny Zest said to Mayor Baxter.
"I've done great things Mr Zest." Edward responded "But I'm no miracle worker."
Oh thank the gods, Katrina got promoted so she has something that's more flattering for her growing figure.
So turns out the neighbor's being loud and inconsiderate. So Katrina thought it would be a wise idea to drown out his noise by playing with the toddlers in the hallway of the apartment building!
Edward came home during Katrina's playtime, So naturally he helped her be loud as possible for their inconsiderate neighbor.
Meanwhile, Katrina's just glad that she actually has a man to help out with raising the kids this time around.
Well it's time to put the toddlers to bed as Edward has a big day ahead of him tomorrow. So cute.
Edward is off, once again, doing Mayor things, leaving Katrina alone with the twins. So to distract them, she turned on the kid's channel. Sounds......fun
Katrina watched the show, analyzing its story structure.
"Hey wait a minute, this show is all style over substance!" Katrina exclaims "I count at least four plot holes and continuity errors, and the Mise-en-scène is all over the place!"
Trina and Rina just cheered for the show while their mother kept analyzing it. Everyone's a critic.
And then Katrina started mocking them for being simple minded enough to enjoy this show.
Well would you look at that, Katrina's older daughters, Nina and Dina have come to visit! Oh and Dina is a wonderful daughter, cleaning up the mess left by the toddlers.
Oooh, looks like Trina's going to introduce herself to her big sisters! Look out Nina, looks like you're the favorite.
"Ah ha, how cute. Now get away from me." Nina said, brushing off the toddler.
Uh oh, look out Nina, here comes Rina!
"Oh dear no!" Nina exclaimed "Now there's two of them!"
"Well looks like they like you." Katrina said with a smug tone of voice.
"Good, you two can babysit the kids while I get a well deserved nap!" Katrina said as she waddled back into the apartment.
That's when Katrina stopped dead in her tracks and turned around and headed back into the hallway.
"On second thought, you two continue babysitting the kids. I'm going to the hospital to deliver this baby." Katrina said as she walked past "Hope Edward gets to the hospital in time."
"Alright kiddo, you watch the TV while your big sister goes to raid your daddy's liquor cabinet!" Dina exclaimed to young Trina.
On the other hand, looks like Nina has grown attached to her little sisters. Must be nice to have other sisters than......Dina.
Katrina's back from the hospital, she seems to be overjoyed by the fact that at least ONE of her daughters are enjoying this scenario.
I guess it's about time to interrupt this story with an obligatory section devoted to how cute these toddlers are.
Katrina not being able to resist the cuteness.
And of course, Trina just playing with her dolls.
Curse you Maxis for making the toddlers so adorable in this game.
Edward finally marched through the door "Boy howdy this was a great day of work! We didn't pass a single piece of legislation! We just sat around, argued and drank scotch!" he said with a chipper tone.
"Well good, since you didn't answer your phone at work and you're in such a good mood you can take care of our new twins while I get some sleep!" Katrina snapped at her husband.
Edward sat in silence processing exactly what she said "......New twins?"
Oh boy, Katrina was right. They had ANOTHER set of twins!
Alina and Tina Baxter, Born 2037.
"Well I mean, kinda my fault I didn't answer the phone. I'll accept my fate." Edward said calmly as he stood there for several hours taking care of the newborns.
Oh looks like the toddlers want to see their new baby sisters! First up, Trina looks pretty happy to be a big sister.
Rina though.....She looks like she was not excited for this at all.
Katrina approached Edward as he was getting ready to get some well deserved sleep after taking care of the babies all evening.
"Hey, hope I wasn't being too harsh with you." Katrina apologized.
"Meh. I'm just glad you didn't kill me, you would've been justified." Edward said calmly. "I just want to know something......When did we take that picture right behind me?"
Let's turn on our Toddler Translator to see what Trina and Rina are thinking here. Looks like they're thinking about how awesome it would be if they got their Dad to play dolls with them.
Eight minutes later, let's turn that Toddler Translator back on! Looks like Trina and Rina have gotten their wish and are quite ecstatic over it.
Okay, Katrina has had enough of Diego Lobo causing so much ruckus ever since they moved in. Especially now that they have to listen to his passionate love making late at night.
"Alright Diego, enough is enough!" Katrina exclaimed "I need you to be considerate and realize that what you're doing at night is just plain rude."
"Oh come on, I get to hear you and your husband doing it every night." Diego responds "You have no grounds to stand on in this argument."
Katrina just sat there and smirked "Oh yeah.....Alright, you got me there. Let's put all of this behind us."
Alright, looks like we've got another timeskip here. The year is 2040. Those newborns are now 3 years old in case you have trouble with math. First off here's Tina Baxter.
And there's Alina Baxter. Oh and there's Katrina not being able to resist the cute.
Oh and there's 5 year old Rina.
And 5 year old Trina!
Edward has been trying to work from home more often....Turns out there was some sort of virus outbreak back when Edward was a kid back in 2020, kinda a big deal. Turns out a lot of employers found out it was very much possible to make a lot of people work from home, so Edward attempted that with his Mayoral work 20 years later. Hey, he was able to win his re-election this way so it must be a viable way of work.
Though he still has no idea when they took THIS picture.
Looks like it's time for Edward's monthly trip to the Willow Creek prison to visit his mother.
"AND Alina's first words were 'Are you f'ing kidding me' after hearing me say it so many times!" Edward exclaimed to his mother. "By the way, I just have to ask. What's with the shaved head?"
"Well sweetie it's funny you ask that. To fit in with the other, more tougher prisoners in the yard I had to shave my head. It's all about survival, dear." Aria answered.
"That's a shame." Edward responded "But it's alright Mom. You just have to wait another decade for me to turn 35, and when that happens I can run for President and legalize stupid questions and have your prison sentence commuted!" Edward proclaimed.
"Oh that sounds wonderful. However I hate to say this but, I found out asking stupid questions aren't punishable by life in prison." Aria added "Turns out they're punishable by death."
"Wait what?" Edward asked.
About 15 minutes after their conversation ended, Aria was brought out to the prison yard to be executed via firing squad.
Aria Baxter. 1990-2040.
You were a kind mother who did everything she could to raise Edward in this.....weird weird world.
Personally, I think you did a fine job at it since Edward is doing so well in his career thanks to your wonderful parenting...Especially since your Husband didn't help you out much.
Your Presence in this story was minimal, but your legacy will have a larger impact than you think. Rest in Peace, Aria.
The day after Aria was executed, Edward called his daughters in the kitchen.
"Hey kids, come meet your grandma!" He said loudly. This WOULD have been their first time meeting their Grandma.....But umm.......Yeah, needless to say they weren't too happy.
Luckily Alina and Tina are still too young to understand the concept of death so they can continue having fun and being adorable.
In-Law has been executed? This is the perfect motivation to write a new hit song! She'll call it, "Firing Squad Granny." It's more of an upbeat song than it sounds like.
Edward's father, Edgar came over to visit after news of her execution reached him. Can you believe that? His wife gets executed and he finds out through Facebook! What is this world coming to?
"Wow Dad, you look god awful." Edward said quite bluntly.
"Yeah I know, I really let myself go when your Mom got arrested in the first place." Edgar responded.
The kids came into the room and sat on the couch with their Grandfather.
"Grandpa, can you tell us about how you met Grandma?" Rina asked innocently.
"Of course I can!" Edgar exclaimed joyously, happy to relive his earlier memories. "You see, I met her in the far off year of....2004!"
FLASHBACK TO 2004!!!!
"Hard to believe it, but I was just a young man back then." Edgar explained. "Living in Pleasantview back then, before Pleasentview was nuked by the Sixamsians of course. But I felt like my heart skipped a beat the second I saw her."
"There she was, Aria. The only girl in my heart....Well, after I broke up with Bella Bachelor that is." Edgar continued.
"When we kissed it was like magic. Well, I told her it was like magic." Edgar continued "You see, once you kiss Bella Bachelor, everyone else is a downgrade. But hey, Aria was still a good kisser though, can't deny that."
"And things were much better back then because we could do more raunchier things like grabbing them by their as-" Edgar continued.
"DAD STOP NOW, NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!" Edward yelled.
FLASHBACK OVER!!!!
"Grandpa, how comes things looked so weird in 2004?" Trina asked curiously.
"Things didn't look weird." Edgar says defensively "They looked different. If you were there back then you'd think things looked charmingly rustic compared to today. In fact, plenty of people back then would think things started looking weird back in 2014. But I think things look just fine today. Don't judge like that, kiddo."
After Edgar left, Rina chastised Trina for her comment.
"For crying out loud, Trina. You can't just make claims about things in the past looking 'weird'. That's rude!" Rina snapped.
Edgar went to go cry at Aria's urn and absolutely bawled his eyes out.
"I'm single again, but at what cost?!" Edgar sobbed.
After that Edgar went off to go play with his other grandchildren.
"Boy are these toddlers adorable or what?" Edgar said before hugging little Tina.
Some time later, Edward and Katrina went off on a date night to keep their romance alive....And not doing a good job at it if they're sitting so far away from each other.
Much better. Like I said, Edward is doing everything he can to keep the romance in the air from going the way of the Dodo.
And by Golly, is it working or what? After Edward continued to woo Katrina, she certainly paid it forward if you know what I mean? I'm saying Edward got lucky tonight.
Now who doesn't like a good timeskip? That's right baby, we're going 6 years into the future, 2046!!!
Here's the man himself, Edward Baxter at Age 32. After all these years Edward was finally able to convince Nancy Landgraab to let him ditch the leather chaps.
However, he's gotta wear these pants instead. His approval ratings took a small dive, but jumped right back after he squeezed into these things. Voters are weird.
Speaking of our favorite folks getting older, you know who's really getting up there? Katrina at age 50. Honestly, she had 45 good years. She deserves to let herself age more gracefully.
Edward still digs it though. He still thinks she's as good looking as she was when they first had their affair.
Also you know who else is old? Edgar Baxter. He's 58 now. That's not THAT old, but he's pretty pathetic now so he moved in with Edward and Katrina.
On the bright side, he's finally following a dream that doesn't make him look silly.
"I finally did it!" Edgar exclaimed "I'm officially a freelance writer! Goodbye steady paychecks, hello unruly clients!"
Edward and Katrina were enjoying a good movie together when Katrina decided to go get some coffee.
Oh come on Edward, you may be wearing sunglasses but we can see where those eyes are looking at.
Speaking of the adults, they weren't the only ones to get older. Here's 11 year old Trina
And over here is 11 year old Rina!
If they're 11, then that means Tina and Alina are 9 years old.
Rina's been acting out a lot more these days. Just making messes wherever she goes.
However, Alina's been cleaning up after her everywhere she goes. Good Alina, you're slowly becoming the favorite.
Well time for Edward to do more Mayor stuff.
"Heh heh, 12 years as the Mayor and I still have no idea what I'm doing." Edward chuckles to himself before grabbing a glass of whiskey.
One moment the girls will remember with Grandpa is that day they all went shopping together. Was pretty nice.
"Would you look at this piece?!" Edgar exclaimed "It looks so stupid? Who would pay a thousand simoleons for it?"
"I know right?" Edward chuckled along.
Edward bought it.
"I mean honestly, no one ever said us Baxters were good at spending money." Edgar said.
Well looks like Rina wanted to buy this outfit.
That's when the Baxter girls were suddenly introduced to.....Alina Caliente......Nina Caliente's daughter. Did not know she was going to share the same name as OUR Alina.
Unfortunately Edgar didn't live with the family for too long. You see, there was this fire.
Unfortunately Edgar's outfit is very flammable.
Even worse, for some reason....the family just stood there and watched. They didn't panic, they clearly wanted to help, but they just.....didn't. They just watched him burn to death.
"Wow, your bathroom is amazing!" The Grim Reaper said after exiting the bathroom, heading over to Edgar's corpse.
Edgar Baxter 1988-2046. We'll just put you right next to Grandma.
Edward's off doing Mayor things, the kids are all at school. Finally, Katrina has the place to herself. What's she going to do with this newfound freedom?
The answer is, nothing. No freedom. Nina and Dina came by with their kids to see if their mother would babysit them. Katrina time is ruined.
You'd think after your father burnt to death for standing too close to a fire place that......you wouldn't do the same thing.
Katrina's such a highly respected musician that she was personally gifted this guitar from the greatest Rock and Roll legend in Simerica....Umm, Flippity Zop. Who's Flippity Zop you might ask? A guy who really earned his title of "Greatest Rock and Roll Legend" when you have a name that's so stupid that should've repelled any potential fans away from his albums. Regardless, Katrina owns his guitar now.
"Oh boy dad, Mom's so cool with the guitar." Rina said with admiration "Can you buy me a guitar too?"
"Not right now, Rina." Edward said before grabbing a lighter "I'm practicing my fire breathing."
And with that, Edward filled his mouth with alcohol before lighting it on fire in a giant fireball.
"Impressed?" Edward asked.
You know what time it is? That's right, Timeskip time! Welcome to the year 2050!
Oh dear, you know what that means if we just jumped four whole years?! It means Rina and Trina are now....15 years old!!!
So here's Rina, playing Katrina's guitar.....she's not going to be happy about this.
Trina's over here admiring her reflection in the walk in closet.
On that same note, that means Tina and Alina are 12 years old, nearing their teenage years. Here's Tina up first.
Then there's Alina keeping the couch warm.
"Happy 36th Birthday!" Katrina cheers as she throws confetti into the air.
"What's so happy about it? I'm 36 and I'm still not the President!" Edward moans.
"Wait, I'm 36?! I've been eligible to run for President for a whole year and didn't realize it!" Edward exclaimed.
"Hey you better get this whole President thing happening. I would like to be the First Lady BEFORE I go gray." Katrina nagged at her husband.
"I'll get right on it, dear!" Edward said right before running out of the room.
"You guys are lame." Rina said while rolling her eyes.
So Edward announced to the world that he was running for President!
At least the cameraman broadcasting this to the world was decent enough to show up to the event.
Meanwhile in Oasis Springs, 56 year old Nancy Landgraab is doing her best to stay in shape in her advancing age.
"Now that was a good run." Nancy boasted to herself as the door to her balcony slowly opened.
"Oh hey Nancy, your front door was locked so I climbed up to your balcony!" Edward exclaimed "Good thing you left this door unlocked.
So after a change of clothes Nancy sat down and listened to Edward's plea.
"Alright so, I'm running for President and I need a running mate." Edward begins "And there's no one I would rather have by my side than the almighty Nancy Landgraab! So what do you say?"
"Edward, I am very honored that you thought of me." Nancy answers "However. You understand that 'Landgraab Incorporated' was handed to me back when it was nothing more than an amateur real estate agency by my father right?" Nancy goes on "Since then Landgraab Incorporated has held the monopoly of Real Estate, Power, Water and Supply chains in the country. Do you know what you have to do to secure a monopoly like that Edward?"
Edward has some trouble following the story "Uhh, what's this have to do with the Presidency?"
"You see, I have had to step on a few fingers, slit a few throats, metaphorically.....and literally." Nancy says bluntly. "I've killed people to get where I am today."
Edward's eyes widened before answering "Oh I get it. You don't want to be in charge of the country because you feel that someone who has committed heinous acts like that shouldn't be allowed to run the country!"
"Oh no, I don't care about any moral dilemmas! I'm just saying, to have this level of respect I'm not exactly secretive about it." Nancy continues "Just about everyone in the business world knows not to have a one on one conversation with me without having a bodyguard present. If your political rivals found out I was your Vice President, they'd destroy your political career right then and there."
"Well someone needs to run with me! I have to have a Vice President if I want to be the President!" Edward groaned.
"Perhaps....I can be your Running Mate" A mysterious voice said from the shadows....
It was Geoffrey Landgraab.
"Listen dear, I love you and all. But you're not built for Politics." Nancy explained. "You took your wife's last name for crying out loud! That's very progressive in this day and age, but you'd be ripped apart by Edward's Political rivals. You'd ruin his entire campaign."
That's when Malcolm Landgraab stepped into the room.
"Mom can I have ten thousand dollars?" Malcolm asked quite rudely.
"Curses Malcolm, you're 30 years old. Get yourself a job already!" Nancy snapped before looking at Edward "Or better yet.....Edward, I found your running mate!"
"So how did your first day of your Presidential Campaign go?" Katrina asked Edward as he entered the apartment.
"Umm. It was alright. Need to hit the gym first." Edward answered before running to his workout machine. The President needs to be ripped.
Meanwhile, Katrina wants at least one of her kids to follow in her footsteps as a musician.....It's not going to be Trina. Katrina sounded great, Trina sounded like a dying cat.
Instead Katrina had Trina help her make Edward's favorite dinner. He's going to need it after a tough day campaigning.
For a woman who doesn't cook much, Katrina's pretty darn good at this.
Trina however lost her bandaid in the bowl of sauce.
"That's one of the best looking plate of tacos I've ever seen." Katrina gushes over the food.
"It's certainly mouth watering." Trina adds.
"I just realized something." Katrina adds "Your dad doesn't get home for another four hours...."
So instead Katrina and Trina watched Justice League to pass the time.
"So how are your ice cold tacos?" Katrina asked lovingly.
"Not bad, but I think I found a bandaid in my food." Edward answered.
"It's not a bandaid, it's a flavor patch!" Trina says trying to come up with an excuse.
"Did you forget to wear your shirt on the campaign trail?" Rina asks her father.
"Oh I'm sure that'll help your Campaign!" Katrina adds.
Edward had to sit there for a few seconds before answering.
"As a matter of fact, I think it will help." Edward says with a snap of his finger.
It's not every day that your husband runs for President. So Katrina gave Edward a little good luck......With sexy times, yes.
"Boy, politics keep getting better and better!" Edward cheers after the fun times are over.
The next day, Edward met with his running mate, Malcolm Landgraab outside the local spa.
"Alright Malcolm, your Mom informed me that while the voters like the cool 'Long haired rebel' look for a Mayor, apparently that's not going to fly in the Presidential race." Edward explains.
"So we're both going to need makeovers so we can look respectable and professional." Edward continues.
"Wait, I don't look like a rebel." Malcolm objects "I don't need a makeover to look respectable right?"
"Trust me, you need a makeover." Edward continues.
One Makeover later.
"So, now we're looking like we're ready for politics!" Edward exclaims after getting his new haircut. "I completely forgot what my ears looked like."
"Do you honestly think voters are shallow enough to vote for us just because we got our hair slicked back?" Malcolm questions.
"Of course not, we need killer suits as well!" Edward continues.
One trip to the tailor's later.
"There, NOW we look like we can take over this world!" Edward cheers. "Now let's find Victor Feng and show him that we won't bow down so easily!"
Edward kicked the door open to Victor Feng's apartment and marched in with confidence.
"Don't mind me, just the future President breaking into your home." Edward said, waiting years to finally use that comment against Victor.
"Alright President Feng! I am here to challenge you in the election! I'll be our next President!" Edward proclaims.
"Baxter, what are you doing in here?! It's 3AM!" Victor shouts "And I'm not the President yet."
The realization sinks into Edward's brain a moment after Victor's comment.
"Wait, you're not the President?" Edward asked curiously "So you're telling me that even when you had no opposition, no one voted for you? Sweet, this is easier than I thought it would be."
"Get the plum out of my home." Victor demands.
"Well our work here is done." Edward says coming down the stairs "Let's go Malcolm, we have a campaign to run."
"Hey Ed, hey Malcolm." Lily says warmly "You guys want some coffee?"
"Not tonight Lily." Malcolm adds "My Mom is going to freak out when she finds out I was out so late. Next time."
Well it's 4:30 AM after Edward and Malcolm decided to stop and get some late night waffles before he headed home.
Katrina's not upset about Edward coming home late, in fact she's quite happy after seeing Edward cleaned up like this. So yes, there was sexy time.
So turns out Malcolm Landgraab was dating Morgan Fyres at this time so Edward and Katrina got a nice invitation to their wedding.
Too bad Malcolm's hair reverted back to.....that at the wedding. Back to the spa for him!
"What a wonderful wedding." Katrina exclaimed as the guests watched the bride and groom say their vows.
"Why am I stuck sitting back here?" Edward questioned.
Some months later, Edward threw a big soiree at his place......yes, it was literally just a "Vote for Edward" function. But hey, gotta get those votes.
Morgan Landgraab certainly chose an........appropriate outfit for this shindig.
Luckily we had the musical styling of Katrina to provide a nice atmosphere to the event.
"Can you believe we were actually invited to a Presidential Campaign benefit?" Arun Bheeda gushed "Never in a million years did I think we'd end up anywhere this fancy! And all we had to do was be nice to Edward a couple years ago!"
"So what's this piece of junk?" Moira Fyres asked while looking at this lousy art piece.
"Fun fact, my dad and I bought this because we saw it was a thousand simoleons and we just couldn't believe it." Edward answered.
"......And you expect us to put YOU in charge of the country?" Moira realized.
"It's either me or Victor Feng." Edward said bluntly. Sounds like a good campaign motto.
"Hey Everyone!" Malcolm announced "Turns out Morgan and I are going to be having a baby!"
"Oh my gosh.....I'm so sorry for you." Rina said, consoling Morgan.
"So Nina, since we have a child together.....perhaps we can try to make this relationship work?" Paolo Rocca suggested.
"I have no idea who you are." Nina responded.
THE NEXT WEEK AT THE LOCAL LIBRARY......Which also has a debate hall....
The first Presidential Debate between Edward Baxter and Victor Feng!!!!!!!!!
So Mr Baxter, what do you plan to do about the economy?
"Make more money." Edward answered bluntly.
No, Mr Baxter. The problem isn't the fact that we don't have money, we don't need you to make more money.
"Don't ask Baxter to make a promise!" Victor Feng curses "15 Years as the Mayor and he hasn't upheld any of his campaign promises!"
"Not true, we built community centers, outlawed people from throwing tomatoes at musicians, and somehow lowered the unemployment rate!" Edward boasts.
"Okay fine you got me there. But what about your promise to make Bob Pancakes' life better?" Victor says, accusing Edward. "You can't just make unreal promises like that, no one can make Bob Pancakes' life better! He's doomed to live in mediocrity!"
"May I object?" A voice from the audience calls out.
"Actually Mr Feng..." A visibly happier Bob Pancakes says "After I voted for Edward, my wife and I were able to put all of our marriage troubles behind us and now we have several happy children together." Bob continues "AND after I voted for him I quit my job and followed my dreams of being a comedian and am now the most popular comic on the face of the planet."
Victor Feng just got angry and stopped talking.
"Well looks like I win this debate!" Edward boasts "I mean, not much of a debate, but I still won."
And in that moment, Bjorn Bjergensen approached Edward with sinister intentions.
And punched Edward square in the gut.
"What was that for?!" Edward choked out.
"You promised me that if I voted for you I'd be able to punch you once." Bjorn stated plainly.
"You know what? Good point. I DID make that promise." Edward accepts his pain.
Later that night, Katrina wasn't feeling good so she used the bathroom.
"I'm too old for this." Katrina groaned.
To be continued....
So some time after the Presidential Debate, Edward asked Rina to go around School and rally all the teenagers to vote for him! Let's see how that went.
"So like, I tried to get the other kids to vote for you. But like, half the kids didn't care about the race and the other half like, told me that we're not even allowed to vote until we're 18." Rina explained in like a totally valley girl like way.
"Huh, I see how that's a problem." Edward mutters.
Ever since Edward bought that speaker for the party, the girls just can't stop dancing in the hallway.
Well we can see that Trina is clearly the better dancer here.
Over the next few months, Edward went out to campaign....like nonstop.
"I really like this painting." Edward said "It's almost like the artist making it was saying something along the lines of 'vote for Edward Baxter'."
"That's not what I was trying to say at all!" The artist declares.
Then Edward campaigned at the local bar.
"So you guys should vote for me." Edward said in between sips.
"We don't vote for filthy drunks." Diego Lobo responds.
"Hey, I'm no drunk." Edward objects before taking a big drink.
"This is only my 8th glass!" Edward proclaims.
Salim Benali got up and shook Edward's hand proudly "Mr Baxter, I like the way you hammer down these drinks. I'll gladly vote for you on election day!"
Uh oh everyone, Bob Pancakes is here! Line up to get your autographs!
He even got Katrina to go out and campaign for him.....At her own concerts. Some of her fans that were staunch Feng Supporters were quite peeved about this.
More dancing in the hallway! Meanwhile, it looks like Katrina is displeased with the low quality dancing her daughters are doing. She raised them better than this!
Later that night, Edward wanted to blow another liquor fireball for some reason.
"Hey Dad, can we get a drink too?" Alina said at the counter.
"WHAT?!" Edward screamed in surprise as he blew a fireball into his daughters faces.
Luckily they survived, remember how Alina and Tina were 12 years old a little while ago? Well now they're 13. Amazing how much they change in a few months.
Here's Alina
And Tina.....who of course closed her eyes for this shot.
EARLY MORNING DANCE PARTY IN THE HALLWAY!
EARLY MORNING SICKNESS FOR KATRINA IN THE HALLWAY!
That very same day, Victor Feng had a press conference in the city to reveal who HIS running mate would be.
Doesn't Lily look so thrilled?
"My Opponent, Edward Baxter." Victor says in a mocking tone "Might've gotten Malcolm Landgraab, the son of the richest woman in the country to run for him. But I got someone who isn't just some Billionaire living on an inheritance. I have a man who has fought for the people, has become a symbol of hope in this country! Everyone welcome to the stage.....General Buzz Grunt!"
One person in the audience said "Woo!"
"Thank you for having me, Senator. I am proud to run with you as your Vice President!" Buzz Grunt proclaimed.
"The same Buzz Grunt with the jaw and chin of a golden god?!" Billie Jang said with joy.
"The very same!" Buzz Grunt responds with a thumbs up and a wink.
"The same Buzz Grunt who almost single handedly lead the armies of Earth to victory against the Sixamsians?" Penny Pizz-I mean....Lothario gushed over.
"The one and only!" Buzz Grunt warmly responds.
"The same Buzz Grunt who launched Nuclear attacks on every major city on the planet of Sixam causing the worst war crime in the history of the universe?!" A disgruntled Sixamsian immigrant said, clearly enraged.
Everyone stood in silence for several seconds before Buzz finally responded.
"Well gee, would you look at the time?" Buzz said in a flustered voice before sprinting away in fear.
"Great candidate" Lily said in a mocking tone.
"Shut up Lily." Victor responded.
Some time later, Edward had a big press conference with his Running Mate and the future potential First and Second Ladies by their sides.
"We're going to take Oasis Springs, Willow Creek, Windenburg and San Myshuno because those are the only cities that exist in this country at the moment!" Edward proclaimed "And then we're going to take the White House!!! BYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"
Edward screamed in a passionate way.
"Is he insane?" Morgan asked curiously.
"Probably, but he's our ticket to the Presidency so I can't complain." Malcolm said in an assuring tone.
Meanwhile at Victor Feng's apartment.
"Curses! Once again, Baxter continues to show me up! What's his secret for success?" Victor fumes.
"Maybe he just has a demeanor of a man who doesn't kick puppies?" Lily casually says.
"Curses woman! This is serious. This man could very well be our next President!" Victor continues to rage at the TV.
"I know their secret!" Victor shouts "It's because they're family men and voters like that they have kids of their own!" Victor explains "Woman, we need kids of our own to make people think we're not a couple of evil people who do nothing but sit around and plan world domination!"
"But we ARE the evil people who sit around and plan world domination!" Lily explains "And I HATE children with a passion, we both know this."
"Curses woman! Don't you want me to be the President of Simerica or what?!" Victor argues back.
A few months later, Victor Feng had yet another public press conference with a visibly angry Lily.
"Yes, so a miracle has finally happened!" Victor proclaims "After years of trying, Lily and I are finally having a baby! That's right, we weren't childless for all these years because we are bad people, we just couldn't conceive that easily! Now you'll see that us Fengs are truly family friendly."
"I hate you." Lily says quietly to Victor.
"Hey wait a minute, weren't you and Lily always talking about how you'd rather be dead than be parents?" Bjorn Bjergsen said, spitting straight facts.
Victor Feng in typical Victor Feng fashion was rendered speechless and ran away in terror.
Generation 1: Chapter 13: Election Day!
We now bring you the highly anticipated Vice Presidential debate between Malcolm Landgraab and General Buzz Grunt. This should be good.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I respect my opponent, Mr Landgraab." General Buzz says calmly. "But he is not the right man for the job. How in the world are we going to say no to the man who has had to fight for every penny he's ever made and instead vote for a man who has never had to do anything for himself in his life?"
"It's true, I've never wiped my own butt before." Malcolm states bluntly. "But I've also never committed a war crime either."
"You son of a plum! You weren't there! You don't know what we had to do to win the war!" General Buzz cries "My acts saved millions of our troops lives!"
"And killed billions of innocent civilians as well." Malcolm retorts.
"I'LL KILL YOU! I SWEAR TO WILL WRIGHT, I WILL RIP YOU APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!!" General Buzz explodes on live TV.
Back at home, Edward and Katrina are enjoying the debate on the television.
"Well at least Malcolm knows how to handle himself on the spot." Edward says while Buzz's screaming is still heard through the speakers.
"Politics are weird." Alina says as she casually dances in the hallway.
This election is slowly coming to a head, Edward needs a little bit of good luck to win this.
Also, this might be the last kid Edward has with Katrina. Just realized he never felt growing life in his wife's stomach he decided to feel his future daughter kicking in there......I say daughter because.....I mean, Edward just had four of those. I highly doubt this next one will be a boy of all things.
It's Election Day, that morning Edward woke up early to make breakfast for the family.
"What are you doing up this early?" Katrina asked.
"Making shirtless omelettes." Edward said bluntly. "They're like regular omelettes, but there's the added risk of serious burns."
Edward flipped the omelette into the air and caught it on his spatula like a pro.
"See? That would've been awful had it landed on my pectoral's." Edward says with a smug smile.
The family gathered around the table at 6:30 AM for breakfast.....A first time since those kids like waking up at around 11.
"So how's the shirtless omelettes, everyone?" Edward asked.
"They're amazing!" Sofia Bjergsen said.
"Who the hell are you?" Edward asked bluntly.
Meanwhile at Planet Huney Pop, Victor Feng attempts to make one last attempt at campaigning.
"Please vote for me." Victor Feng said in a defeated tone.
"Well I do like voting for people who have no shot!" The patron adds.
"Don't bother asking me." Dominic Fyres adds "My Daughter is married to your competition. Gotta support her."
"Well snap, if it isn't Victor Feng! What are you doing here?" Edward said cheerfully.
"I'm trying to campaign here! What, are you here to rub your success in my face?" Victor snaps.
"Actually yes." Edward says.
"And so is the rest of my family!" Edward adds as his wife and kids enter the bar as well.
"So is your wife here to support you too?" Edward asks.
"I'll have you know, my wife supports me very much!" Victor responds angrily.
"Oh gosh, your wife didn't show up to support you in all of this. Yikes, I'm sorry dude." Edward said sincerely before leaving Victor.
Huh, what's going on outside?
Ah, it's the Romance festival. How nice!
So Edward and Katrina decided to take this time to renew their vows.
Hey at least the kids were here to see this moment. How nice!
For some reason this woman brought a gun with her.....Watch out for her.
Once again, his opponent shows him up and kicks him when he's down. Life isn't easy for Victor Feng.
Oh wait, wait! It's Lily Feng everyone! She's here!
"Lily! You DO care about me!" Victor says gleefully.
"Actually I'm just here because I enjoy the ambiance of the romance festival." Lily responds.
"Shut up and kiss me, you evil woman." Victor says before pulling Lily in for a passionate kiss. He's most likely never going to be President, but at least he has his woman by his side........And in the end, do you really need more than that?
At the Baxter Residence, the Baxters are gathered around the couch.....with Malcolm Landgraab of course as they watch the Election Results live.
"So what's the first thing you'll do as the President of Simerica?" Katrina asked with glee.
"Now now, there's no surefire way I'll be President tonight. Victor Feng has just as good of a chance as I do to become President." Edward said, for some reason thinking Victor has a shot at winning the race. "But first thing I'll do is make sure we get a Disney World in San Myshuno."
"I guess I'll just stand here since I'm always the one left without a seat." Alina says, standing idle in the hallway.
"The results are in!" The excited sounding dude on the TV says "The First President of Simerica is Edward Baxter with a whopping 93% of the vote!"
"Wait what happened? I wasn't paying attention." Edward muttered.
"You just won the election, Dad!" Trina squealed in delight.
"Oh, cool." Edward casually says.
"Sweet, I'm so rubbing this in the faces of the popular girls tomorrow." Tina smugly says.
Now that Edward's the President, time for Katrina to get some of that.
But before Katrina could get some more, Edward remembered that he needs to deliver a victory speech!
So he ran.
He Ran So Far Away.
But he got to the site of his victory speech and delivered it to the citizens of Simerica, this country now has a leader, and his name is.....Edward Baxter.
Will Wright help us all.
President Edward Baxter cheerfully entered his apartment humming the tune of "Hail to the chief".
"Katrina, kids, pack your bags! We're moving somewhere more Presidential!" Edward said excitedly.
"Why do we have to move out of here?" Katrina asked.
Well I mean, do you want to live right next door to this?
"Come on Katrina, the boys have been hard at work building our new home." Edward states. "Trust me, you'll love it!"
The Baxter clan headed out to Oasis Springs where the new Presidential Home is located. Edward made sure to keep their eyes closed the entire time.
"Alright everyone, open your eyes....Now!" Edward says like he's some game show host.
"Behold, the What House!" Edward reveals.
"The What house?" Katrina says in bewilderment.
"Exactly." Edward states joyously. "It's meant to resemble the White House that the President of the United States of America has. But just so we're not completely ripping it off, it's the What House!"
"Did you guys tear down that real nice park to build this monstrosity?" Katrina asks disappointingly.
The Baxters entered the building and stepped into the main lobby with glee.
"Ah yes, now THIS is a house worthy of a king! I mean, President." Edward says, catching himself on his words.
Edward of course already hired a butler. Her name is Jiggles because he doesn't want to refer to her as her legal name.
The Kids of course found their own fun around the new house, like Tina with this AR gaming setup here.
Alina herself was quite excited seeing this.....Cupcake machine in the basement. A machine that makes cupcakes, what will they think of next?
Rina of course chilled out in that swanky new pool of theirs.
Trina somehow found a "Build Your Own Rocket" starter kit and.......decided to start building her own rocket ship, how is this a reality?
Of course Edward and Katrina have this monster bedroom right here. Time to break in that new bed.
So Katrina, what do you want to do in this big huge house first?
Oh, Deliver your baby. Seems pretty important.
"Hi how's it going, First Lady Katrina Baxter here." Katrina said, being humble as humanly possible. "I'm being unreasonably calm with the circumstances I'm dealing with here, I'm here to deliver this baby."
"Oh silly us, looks like we forgot to schedule a single Doctor to work today." The Receptionist says "Aren't we a quirky hospital?"
No Doctors in the Hospital? No problem, Katrina's so determined to get this baby out that she'll do it herself!
And that's when Mira Baxter was born.
Afterwards, Edward and Katrina met up on the top floor for tea and crumpets.
"Boy Katrina, aren't you glad we didn't have another set of twins?" Edward said jokingly.
"Shouldn't matter to you, I would've been the one raising them anyways." Katrina says with a particularly scorned tone.
That day Edward met up with his Vice President, Malcolm Landgraab in his brand new office.
"Nice place you got, Mr President. Not quite the Oval Office, but very nice." Malcolm compliments his new boss.
"You think that's cool, check this out." Edward says getting up from his chair and opening the secret passage.
"Now THIS is a pretty cool place for a secret lair huh?" Edward asks.
"Don't think the President should talk about 'secret lairs'. It doesn't sound good." Malcolm responds. "But anyways, I think you need to think about hiring people to help run this Administration."
"Don't worry, way ahead of you." Edward answers.
Introducing: The Baxter Administration.
Travis Scott.
Jesminder Bheeda, because she was just so nice to Edward when they first met.
Miko Ojo
Nancy Landgraab, because she paid a lot of money to be here.
and Bob Pancakes.
"Hey Boss, I need to pee." Bob said before leaving the administration room.
"Personally, I just can't be around so many poor people." Nancy explains.
"What do you mean, with the paychecks they'll be making they're the opposite of poor!" Edward explains.
"Yeah, but Everyone is poor to me." Nancy continues.
"I think our first meeting went pretty well." Jesminder says as they walk out the door.
At least we can say that Jiggles the Butler knows how to take care of babies.
After all that stress, Edward needs a nice stiff drink. Good thing he kept the liquor globe from his Mayor's office.
On a higher note, at least we found a room in this building for Katrina to enjoy herself. That's right, her very own recording studio so now she can make music from home!
The year is 2052. Edward Baxter has now been President for two successful years and in those last two years, our President has developed a new passion....Painting for some reason. Might as well when you have like three rooms devoted to art.
In those two years, 17 year old Trina Baxter finished building that rocket and has become the youngest person to ever go into space.
"Meh, it was alright. Space is kinda boring though." Trina says clearly unimpressed by the experience.
A few years ago, Katrina wouldn't let Rina LOOK at her prized Flippity Zop signed guitar. But in recent years Rina has become a musical prodigy like her Mom. Now Katrina gladly lets Rina rock out on that thing as she does Flippity Zop justice.
So judging by 15 year old Tina's beret you'd think she's one of those goth kids in art class right?
Wrong, she actually wants to write novels for a living! You probably think she's writing about some sort of dark edgy material for her books.....Nope, at this moment she's currently writing a book about pretty rainbow unicorns. Don't judge a book by its cover!
Then of course here's Alina, no ambitions outside of social media influencing and taking advantage of the clout that comes with being the President's child. Must be nice.
Oh but wait there's more! Because now we have 2 year old Mira! How adorable.
In Edward's first two years of office he managed to pass a few laws. Like for instance, it is now legal to ask stupid questions! His mother would be so proud of him. He also replaced the old Warden of the Willow Creek Prison....for reasons.
"Wait, replace me?!" The Warden screamed "How are you guys going to replace ME?!"
"Like this." The new Warden said before pulling out an assault rifle and open firing.
Unfortunately there was a terrible accident at The What House, as in, the house was so big it was causing unbearable lag, so it burnt down! So instead they tore down another national park and built a NEW What House. This one is literally just America's "White House" with a select few changes.
"Alright everyone, surely there'll be no lag this time around. Let's check this place out!" Edward said before leading the Baxters into their new residence.
At least there's still a nice room on the top floor for tea and crumpets because I'm sure Katrina would've been peeved if there wasn't.
Mira doesn't have a huge kid's playroom like at the first What House, but hey, at least her bedroom has this nice big teddy bear and does she really need anything else? Don't answer that question, it was rhetorical.
I mean, there's this cool Toddler's Playground as well. That's pretty cool right?
I'm sure Mira agrees.
Of course Jiggles the Butler was there to join them in the New What House, thank Wright she survived the fire. Now she's here to take care of the President with his new office.
Oh look, the Welcome Wagon is here to welcome them to the neighborhood!
"A Welcome wagon?" Katrina asks, genuinely confused by the idea "A Welcome wagon for the President's family? This seems like a safety issue."
"Oh, you're that girl who broke into our apartment building." Katrina said to Sofia.
"Yep that's me, you guys have any more of those shirtless omelettes?" Sofia inquires.
No Shirtless Omelettes, but there's fruitcake!
"Fruitcake? I love Fruitcake!" Katrina exclaimed before taking a bite.
"I have made a terrible mistake." Katrina says after coming to the conclusion that she does NOT like fruitcake.
Ah yes, the President in his new Oval Office. It's......Perfect.
"Yes......I'm one step closer to world domination." Edward mutters to himself as he looks out the window.
"Hey Dad....was that something you wanted someone to hear?" Rina asks curiously.
New What House means Trina had to build a new rocket.....which she did. She has now made her second trip to space.
I think this girl has a bright future ahead of her.
"I'm back, baby!" Trina exclaims as she steps back on Earth. "It was a better trip than the last time!"
This of course lead to President Baxter having to have a press conference.
"Mr President, is it ethical to let your daughter launch herself into space every weekend?" A reporter asks the President.
"Of course it is, Space Travel is a constitutional right to every citizen....as long as they can afford it." Edward explains "I think..." he mutters under his breath.
"Can you at least confirm the rumors were true that your daughter found an alien in space and kept it as a pet?" The reporter asks again.
"I cannot confirm or deny those rumors. This conference is over." Edward quickly says "Have that reporter executed." Edward whispers as he walks past a member of his staff.
Later that year, Trina and Rina turned 18 and were now officially adults! They don't look different physically......and they sure aren't different mentally.
"Hey Dad, I heard Grandpa kicked you out the day you turned 18." Rina says to her father "You won't do that, right?"
"Oh I wouldn't DREAM of kicking you kids out.....As long as you contribute." Edward states bluntly.
Later that night, Trina met with her father in the Oval office with big news.
"Dad, I can't keep this a secret much longer. I have been dating behind your back." Trina states.
"I don't really care if you were dating. You didn't need to keep it a secret from me." Edward explains "Who's the lucky man?"
"It's none other than Ripp Grunt, General Buzz Grunt's son." Trina answers.
"I was standing in front of you this entire time." Ripp butts in.
FLASHBACK
"You see Dad, shortly after Buzz Grunt joined Victor Feng's Presidential Campaign, I met Ripp." Trina explains. "It was love at first sight!"
"He charmed me right from the beginning." Trina states.
"No, pretty sure you were the one that charmed me." Ripp explains.
"Oh yeah, I was clearly the one that instigated this relationship." Trina remembers.
"I knew you wouldn't be happy that I was dating the son of your political rival." Trina continues "So I kept the relationship hidden from you for years."
FLASHBACK OVER.
"Honestly, I don't really care that you're dating the son of my Political Rival." Edward states bluntly. "Look at that man's Jawline, his Chin. This man is a symbol of evolutionary perfection." Edward explains, looking at Ripp Grunt's jaw. "I don't judge you for falling for that man."
"That's good because we're getting married!" Trina exclaims.
"Okay, I wasn't expecting that." Edward says clearly shocked by that reveal.
Well snap, Trina's getting married!!! AND Edward is actually really cool about it and is throwing all the money he can to make this the best wedding she can have.
The next day, Trina's off to work!.....Wait this is what she wears as a programmer? That's a pretty swell job.
At that time, Rina and Katrina had a jam session in the only music room in The What House! As you can tell by this awkward camera angle, this room is tiny.
There we go, their new music studio, they don't need a room dedicated to botany anyways. No one in this family cares about plants!
Meanwhile, you can't say that Rina isn't a good sister. Here she is helping take care of Mira while the parents are busy.
Well it is the day of Trina's wedding. Hope everything's going well!
"So is this wedding everything I said it would be or what?" Edward asks with a big grin.
"Isn't this the same place where you married Mom?" Trina asks "Doesn't sound like you spent too much since you paid this much when you were just the Mayor."
"I'm just glad I get to see one of my kids get married!" Katrina says with joy.
She says this because Nina and Dina never invited her to their weddings.
Well now's the big moment where Trina's going to say her vows to Ripp.
I now pronounce you, Mr and Mrs Grunt. Mazel Tov!
"What the heck, I paid all this extra money for a musician that never showed up?!" Edward complains.
"Don't worry dad." Rina responds. "I got this."
So Rina moved over to the piano and started playing her heart out.
"Move over kid." Katrina cuts her off "Let a professional handle this."
The Wedding is over, The Baxters headed back to The What House with The Grunts as they prepared to move out on their own.
"So long everyone!" Trina says in a farewell. "But fret not, now that I'm moving out I'll begin my own adventures for the folks at home to follow along with! Perhaps my story will even be better than my father's, who knows? We won't find out until I become the new main character next chapter!"
"Wait, do you really think you're the heir for the next generation just because you're the oldest?" Edward questions "Ha, that's funny. Have fun kids."
This story's still about Edward for the time being, sorry Trina.
That's when Edward approached Rina.
"So, when are YOU getting married?" Edward asked "I just need to know so I can start planning now."
"Nah don't worry about me. Already got eloped." Rina states bluntly.
"You....what?" Edward asked, still processing what was just said.
"Yep, been dating Skylar Bheeda. Kinda weird looking, but sweet guy." Rina explains. "But one day he just popped the question and we just said 'why not start now?' and next thing we know, we're signing the marriage papers.
That's when Skylar Bheeda approached Rina from behind.
"Hey Babe, you ready to move out now?" Skylar asked.
And just like that, Edward had two vacant rooms in The What House.
Alright everyone, let's jump.....Three years into the future! It's now.....2055......Introducing 40 year old Edward Baxter! Oh dear Ed.....what has happened to you? There's barely any color left in your hair! Your perfectly ripped body is slowly turning into a pile of pudding!
Then here's 58 year old.....Oh dear, 58 year old Katrina. Just sad to see aging Sims.
Oh but hey, it's 5 year old Mira. The one instance where seeing an aging Sim isn't so bad. Little Mira is off to her first day of school, something tells me she'll be a smart Sim since her parents and sister (just one Sister) raised her so well.
Meanwhile, Tina here is approaching the grand Ol' 18, and here she is writing her novel while Jiggles the Butler tends to her whims.
One day Edward was just chilling out in The Oval Office with Mira.
"Say Dad, can I sit at your desk?" Mira asked politely.
"One day when you're older, sweetie." Edward answered calmly.
"Is that a challenge?" Mira said with a devious grin.
Meanwhile, Edward and Katrina used Trina's old rocket for.....less than stellar reasons.
Boy will the public be upset knowing just how many tax payer dollars were used to pay for this trip.
But boy was it worth it.
Turns out the Baxters didn't like how laggy the What House was. So while this What House didn't burn down tragically, they just decided to move into this mansion. Edward still goes to the What House for President things, but they just need a lag free home.
Oh and here comes Mira's best friend forever, Mei. Mei Feng. Yeah that's right, a Baxter and a Feng? Best Friends?! What kind of sorcery is this?!
Oh boy, a knock at the door! Looks like the welcome wagon is here to greet the Baxters! Again, a Welcome Wagon for the President's family? In America you have to go through so many security checkpoints just to be in the same room as the President, but in Simerica you can just walk up to his door with fruitcake?
Oh...it's not just any family. It's the Second Family, The Landgraabs that came to visit.
"Oh snap, I didn't know you guys lived in this neighborhood!" Edward exclaimed cheerfully. "We should all go take a dip in my new pool!"
"Is this what my life has amounted to?" a visibly aging Geoffrey Landgraab groaned.
Speaking of swimming pool, here's Almost 18 year old Alina diving in.
"Why did I go swimming with makeup on?" Alina asked the same question we were all thinking.
You know, honestly the person here who got the best deal is Mira. I mean check out her room on the top floor with this killer balcony.
"One day, this world will be mine." Mira says while gazing at the city below her.
Alright, back to The What House for another grand meeting of The Baxter Administration.
"Gotta say, I like this What House over the first one." Malcolm Landgraab says while looking around the war room. "Much more accurate to The White House."
"Anyways, I would like to welcome our newest member, General Buzz Grunt." Edward cheerfully "We might've been political rivals, but now our kids are married! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Thanks Mr President." General Grunt said with pride "Now unfortunately, a lot of other countries are making fun of us for the fact that owning a dog or a cat as a pet is still illegal. So I propose we go to war immediately."
"Didn't you commit a warcrime?" Travis Scott asks the General suspiciously.
"YOU WEREN'T THERE! WE'D ALL BE TEST SUBJECTS OF THE SIXAMSIANS RIGHT NOW IF I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID!" General Grunt shouts before running out of the room.
"Mr President, I have to use the bathroom again." Bob Pancakes said as he shuffled out of the war room.
Well that was another horribly failed meeting of the Baxter Administration. At least Edward has some much needed alone time.
"Yes, one day this world will be mine." Edward said with sinister intent while looking out the window.
"Should I have been witness to what you just said?" Jesminder Bheeda says with concern.
To be continued.
On this day, President Edward Baxter announced that Simerica was going to war against Germany. Why? General Grunt said that the German Chancellor made a joke about how Simericans can't own pets. Unfortunately President Baxter is insecure enough to go to war over a joke.
Yeah so war was declared, BUT the Baxters are the first family so none of them have to go anywhere near the battle! So we're not talking about the War anymore. Instead let's just look at how Edward's body is starting to get the same consistency as pudding.
Katrina's not one to judge though. She can dig it.
Well time for Edward to put on his best sweater and enjoy a day where he doesn't have to go do President things at the What House.
Katrina doesn't have a nice recording studio in their mansion.....but I mean, she has a nice piano and excellent acoustics to boot.
"Alright Jiggles, we need you to spruce up the place. Rina's coming to visit today." Katrina orders "I just want this place to look spotless for my girl."
Oh, Rina's already here......AND she's pregnant?! Wow, she and Skylar got to work on that quick.
Well the visit was nice, but Katrina's off to play a big show tonight. She likes playing concerts now that her Husband's the President because now she has better security!
Well that day just so happened to be Tina and Alina's 18 Birthday.
"Oh, so THAT'S why I've been feeling like I'm about to age up today." Alina says before she too bounces in the air and ages up to a young adult.
One quick hairstyle change later, Alina is now a stylist!
"Hey Dad, you think you can model your look for me?" Alina asks "I need to write a fashion blog today and might as well write it about Presidential fashion."
"I've always wanted to be a model!" Edward exclaims before he starts posing.
Meanwhile, Tina's gotten a job as a novelist because I mean, that's what she's been working towards since she became a teenager.
At her job she met the perfect man for her....Mr Alexander Goth! That's right, it's perfect for a Goth girl to marry an actual Goth and-.....Wait, THAT'S what Alexander Goth looks like? That just won't do. Good thing Alina is a professional stylist.
"There, this new look hides your flaws much better." Alina says with pride "Now go knock her dead, Mr Goth."
"By Golly I will!" Alexander says with determination.
So Alexander and Tina had a little date.....In Tina's room because she hates going out.
Doesn't take much to win over Tina. Wear black and look gloomy and you've won her heart.
So of course when Alexander asked her to be his girlfriend she didn't even hesitate.
It also doesn't take much to get her to agree to do it for her first time.
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Alina is on a date herself! Who's the lucky man you might ask? None other than Lucas Munch.....Oh wow. That's Lucas.
"So tell me, have any ambitions towards life?" Alina asks.
"I've never talked to a girl before." Lucas admits.
"Please don't ruin this moment." Alina begs.
Of course one thing lead to another and Alina found herself smooching Lucas.
"I can't wait to tell my friends on Runescape about this!" Lucas exclaims.
"Wait.....you play Runescape?" Alina asks excitedly. "Well at least you have good taste in games."
"This just in, the battle of Munich has taken the lives of 3,500 soldiers on both sides." The News anchor says somberly "It is the bloodiest battle of the war."
"You know, hearing about men dying in my honor is putting me in the mood." Edward said seductively to his wife.
"Oh Mr President." Katrina responded by returning the flirting.
And then they made the most shameful love they've ever made!
Two years later, it is now 2057 and 7 year old Mira Baxter is running for Class President and is going to have a "Play Debate" with the other candidate in front of the entire school! This is going to be her best day ever!
Later that very same day.
"Hey Kiddo. How was your day?" Edward asked "Was it everything you were hoping for and more?"
"Negative." Mira says straight forwardly "I got stage fright in front of the school and had a horrible accident. Everyone started laughing and I'm going to have to transfer schools."
"That's awful! How inconsiderate of those kids to treat you that way." Edward says with concern "Would playing on your spaceship make you feel better?"
"That would be wonderful." Mira admits.
So Edward and Mira went out to play on her spaceship playground set.
Edward was willing to make himself look insanely stupid to any of his political rivals spying on him for any dirt to bring up on him during the next election as long as it meant helping his daughter feel better about herself.
Some time later, 20 year old Alina was watching a movie with.....Oh Lord.....60 year old Katrina. While looking quite confused.
"So was he a robot or what?" Alina asks about the film.
"If you were paying attention you'd have your answer." Katrina responds.
Later that day, Lucas came over to visit and looked visibly nervous.
"Alina, I must say that you're the only good thing to happen to anyone in the Munch family." Lucas said almost like he had rehearsed this moment.
And at that moment, Lucas had proposed to Alina. Alina was more entranced by the size of that diamond.
Outside the Baxter House.
"Should we tell your folks that you're engaged?" Alexander asked Tina.
"Nah, let Alina have this moment right now. We'll let them know later." Tina responded.
To be Continued.
Alina came back home from a hard day at work as a Stylist and.....Wait, THAT'S her uniform? What the heck, I hope she gets a promotion soon because that's just ridiculous.
One Promotion Later.....It still looks ridiculous but at least the girl doesn't go to work in a bikini anymore.
Some time later, Edward was playing chess with Mira to help develop her smarts.
"Now Kiddo, this is Chess. The game of intellectuals." Edward says "The greatest minds on the planet are masters at this game."
"Wait, why is the knight a horse? Isn't he supposed to be a man? That's stupid. Chess is stupid!" Edward says angrily.
So Tina and Katrina came home from work at the same time. This is the uniform they're making this poor girl wear. She's not wearing a bikini, but she has the most unflattering suit I've ever seen. Though I'll give them credit for trying to match her coat with her hair. Didn't do a great job, but they tried.
"I feel older than I really am." Katrina says bluntly.
Turns out Katrina was aging up to an Elder. Makes sense since she's.....60.
"Arg, everything hurts all of a sudden!" Katrina exclaims in pain.
Well well well, today's the day of Tina's wedding....And it's at the same venue Trina was married at.
When Edward says he's going to make this the best wedding for his little girl he really means he keeps it to a strict template that all his children will get eventually.
Yep. Katrina is now an old Grandma but Edward still loves her as much as the day he knocked her up.
Oh it's been a little while since Katrina has seen Trina. Wonder how she's doing.
"I'll answer that for you, should be a few more months before this kid comes out." Trina states bluntly.
"Gee Bella Goth, for a woman that my Dad dated back in Highschool, you sure look good for your age." Edward says with a compliment "Tell me, what's your secret?"
"It's funny you ask that." Bella answers "Before I answer that, Is that an alien right behind you?!"
As Edward turned around to see this alien, Bella took off running.
Well time for Tina and Alexander to tie the knot. Looks like Alexander's excited to be marrying Tina, he's literally jumping for joy.
"Oh yeah, I picked the right guy." Tina says happily.
Who's going to make it to the marriage ceremony first? Nina, the woman with the slowest walkstyle in the entire world?
Or Trina, the woman walking around with a baby in her second trimester? Surprisingly it's Trina, guess Pregnancy Waddling is still faster than that awful walkstyle Nina has.
What a romantic moment. Nothing can ruin this moment.
"Why do I have to stand?! I'm Mortimer Goth! I deserve a seat!" Mortimer demands angrily.
"Heh heh, my dress sparkles." Mira states in amusement.
I now pronounce you, Mr and Mrs Goth.
Immediately after the wedding, Alexander and Tina went home to make little Goth babies.
A few months later.....Now It's Alina's wedding!!!
"Seriously? Same venue as Tina's?" Katrina says in disappointment.
"Hey, they give you a good deal if you had a wedding here before." Edward answers.
Gotta save money, even if you're the President.
Meanwhile, Lucas Munch really enjoyed standing at that fireplace.
Well it's been a few months, so Trina's no longer pregnant! She gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Now it's TINA'S turn to be the preggo at the wedding!
Trina approached Alina while no one else was around.
"You sure you want to marry him?" Trina asks "He's a Munch. The Munch family is weird!"
"After all, THAT guy is going to be your brother in law." Trina states.
That's when Mila Munch approached Lucas when no one else was around.
"You sure you want to marry her?" Mila asks "She's a Baxter. The Baxter family is weird!"
"After all, THAT woman is going to be your sister in law." Mila states.
"Wait, what's wrong with me?" Rina asks having heard that whole statement.
It was time for the ceremony. Lucas delivered a solid hour and forty three minutes worth of love poetry he wrote for Alina...Which of course gave the family plenty of time to get to the ceremony.
The Munch family is weird, but at least Alina likes one of them.....just one. So that's good enough for her.
I now pronounce you, Mr and Mrs Munch.
"I'm not feeling well. Need to go to the bathroom for a few minutes." Alina states before leaving the party.
"I told you she wasn't good enough for you, Lucas!" Gunther states angrily "Getting sick at your wedding, how dare she!"
"I'm sure she has a good reason." Lucas answers.
"Hey Lucas guess what, I'm Pregnant! You're going to be a father!" Alina says cheerfully.
"I'm finally going to be a Grandma? This is wonderful!" Mila says joyously. "Too bad my older sons couldn't do that soon enough for me."
Mila says before slowly dropping to the ground dead.
"Just remember Gunther, this is your fault! You should've had kids earlier!" Mila says with her last breath.
"Yeesh, death at a funeral. Hope this doesn't become a habit." the Grim Reaper states as he approaches the fresh corpse.
"I don't want to be THAT guy." Edward starts "But I think that's what she deserves after dissing my family."
"Wait, Alina's pregnant too?!" Tina questions "She's going to steal my thunder!"
"Hey, this is my wedding!" Alina responds "This whole thing is supposed to be MY thunde-"
Before Alina can finish her statement, she had to stop herself from puking all over her dead Mother in law.
"Ha ha, my dress sparkles." Mira states cheerfully as the Munch family continues to cry over Mila. .