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Item Descriptions are Underrated

MantleJackalMantleJackal Posts: 374 Member
Most of the time when I'm in build/buy I don't pay attention to what the item description says, but sometimes you get absolute gems. Such as:

The Permaloveseat
Look at you, standing there with that look on your face. The one that says,
“Everyone knows you can’t snuggle on waterproof furniture.” Well everyone is
WRONG! The Permaloveseat proves it! It is perfectly resistant to inclement
weather AND perfectly cuddly. Don’t believe us? We will cuddle with you on this
loveseat right now if we have to. Oh, we’ll do it!

The Permalounger
Oh, so you think you can’t get comfortable in a waterproof chair? Guess again.
Here to wipe that self-satisfied smirk right off your face is The Permalounger.
It’s so darned waterproof you’ll swear you’re sitting on a pile of ducks - -
only MORE COMFORTABLE! Waterproof ottoman included just to prove the point.

Text deleted? Who’s messing with the copy? This brand new poster entitled
Three Dog M[TEXT DELETED]. Grrr! Look, there are three dogs, there is a
planetary body and thus it has been entitled Three Do[TEXT DELETED]. Argh! Can
we please not edit the copy!? It’s a poster of three animals, there happens to
be a celestial object… you might even say moon. Moon. Now you’re ok with moon!?
Three [TEXT DELETED]… seriously?!

Golden Glow Tanning Booth
Bombarding yourself with UV radiation for a quick, cosmetic tan is dangerous and
barbaric. Get a quick, cosmetic tan the natural way by spraying your entire body
with Golden Glow’s patented MuchoTan Bodycoat. Your skin will register at least
a 97.5 on the Murakami-Grant Pigmentation Scale, and thanks to an infusion of
our proprietary Saf-T Chemicals the impact on your health is minimal. The Golden
Glow Tanning Booth. Your personality glows… shouldn’t you?
Post edited by MantleJackal on


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    Lucy_HenleyLucy_Henley Posts: 3,014 Member
    Yeah, some of the item descriptions are great! Imagine being the person (or people I’m guessing) to come up with it. I can’t think of any particular favourites right now, though.
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    sunnycakessunnycakes Posts: 75 Member
    My favorite one is the Three Dog M[TEXT DELETED].
    Be yourself; life is not about pleasing others, it's about pleasing yourself. Don't try to please others if it makes you uncomfortable. If others judge you for who you are, ignore them. If what you do makes you happy, continue.
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    ZeeGeeZeeGee Posts: 5,385 Member
    Someone has lots of personality or used to be an ad exec :lol:
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    ignominiusrexignominiusrex Posts: 2,680 Member
    So glad you started this thread. When I get more time I would love to share some that made my day also! So much humor in them.
    You can call me Iggy or Rex (he/him) 10 ways to Fight Hate
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    CrystalKasursalCrystalKasursal Posts: 13 New Member
    I absolutely love the descriptions. It won't feel the same without them, and I have laughed at several of them. I have read most of them, and even some in Debug.
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