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Should Having Multiple Spouses Be an Option?

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  • EmmaVaneEmmaVane Posts: 7,847 Member
    Cinebar wrote: »
    CelSims wrote: »
    I think people should stop regulating who other consenting adults are allowed to be romantically and/or emotionally connected to. I really see no difference between telling consenting adults they can't have a same sex marriage and telling consenting adults they can't have a marriage involving more than two people. Seriously, quit telling consenting adults what to do. And quit assuming that everyone in those marriages has been brain washed or forced into it.
    My sims that are in multirelationships would like to marry all of their partners thank you. Play your way pfffff. Only if it fits into some middle class christians idea of moral standards I guess?

    Mormons are Christians, this practice used to be widely accepted by them. It's also a religious practice to marry more than one in many cultures, but I thought any religious practices weren't allowed in TS4. (?) Just stating the obvious and the facts. Polygamy didn't spring from secular ideas but from many different religions.

    OP, it's a no from me, my female Sims will not play second fiddle to anyone.

    My female sims will be extra happy with two husbands, especially if they are bi/pan, because watching is hot too.
  • LeGardePourpreLeGardePourpre Posts: 15,215 Member
    edited February 2022
    If we forget the human sims, it seems Vampire and Werewolf (Alpha) are polygamous.

    In Star Wars, the Cereans are also polygamous but they aren't included in Journey To Batuu.
  • IcewolfIcewolf Posts: 709 Member
    Nah, I'd prefer it if it stays the traditional way.
  • BlueR0seBlueR0se Posts: 1,595 Member
    Yes, please! The romance system needs a major reboot regardless but along with polygamy/polyamory it would be an excellent way to make the romance system more dynamic.

    There are a lot of ways to do it, and I don't even mind if monogamy is the default but a way to flag for "open relationships" or give monogamous/polyamorous traits/preferences to sims would be fantastic. Not a fan of our current "no jealousy" options aside from mods and cheats and would prefer something better.
  • PlumbeebPlumbeeb Posts: 619 Member
    I would fully support polygamy in the game.

    If a polygamy feature were to be introduced at some point, I can't imagine they'd ship it without the proper toggles and settings to accompany it, otherwise that would be one hell of a slippery slope. As long as it remains optional, I see no reason why it shouldn't be in the game.
    Sims 4 Wish List:
    • > Option to toggle on/off random townie generation.
    • > Turn vacation worlds into residential worlds.
    • > Option to purchase separate worlds or a world pack.
    • > Sleepwear kit.
    • > Atomic age kit.
  • WolfiumWolfium Posts: 2,672 Member
    No. I read life story about some person which parents did this.
  • catloverplayercatloverplayer Posts: 93,393 Member
    Sure I'm down for it as long as it's just an option.
  • SimmervilleSimmerville Posts: 11,660 Member
    edited February 2022
    I don't really see the point. I mean, nobody would stop you if you want a female living with 5 husbands. If you want that, I'm sure it's not because you love weddings in particular - the ceremony is the only thing you would miss. It's all in your hands. I'm sure there would be some rivalry and jealousy in many bigamous relations, anyway. Perhaps there is a trait to get rid of that.

    Personally I don't play the game this way, but I admit I might be too old to embrace modern times' preferences anyway ;)
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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,750 Member
    I don't really see the point. I mean, nobody would stop you if you want a female living with 5 husbands. If you want that, I'm sure it's not because you love weddings in particular - the ceremony is the only thing you would miss. It's all in your hands. I'm sure there would be some rivalry and jealousy in many bigamous relations, anyway. Perhaps there is a trait to get rid of that.

    Personally I don't play the game this way, but I admit I might be too old to embrace modern times' preferences anyway ;)

    there's a big difference in living with five boyfriends or girlfriends and being married to those same five people. One is Polgamous while the other is Polygamgaly.

    It's not in the game without a certain mod at the moment to allow to be married to more then one person
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  • greydonngreydonn Posts: 717 Member
    MadameLee wrote: »
    there's a big difference in living with five boyfriends or girlfriends and being married to those same five people. One is Polgamous while the other is Polygamgaly.

    It's not in the game without a certain mod at the moment to allow to be married to more then one person

    With MCCC you can get married to more then one person as well, afaik.

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    • She/Her.
  • VeeDubVeeDub Posts: 1,862 Member
    greydonn wrote: »
    MadameLee wrote: »
    there's a big difference in living with five boyfriends or girlfriends and being married to those same five people. One is Polgamous while the other is Polygamgaly.

    It's not in the game without a certain mod at the moment to allow to be married to more then one person

    With MCCC you can get married to more then one person as well, afaik.

    Yeah, you can. The game gets confused when it comes to some things, though, and doesn't always recognize all the spouses as spouses.
    FYI: Just because you can see my signature, don't assume that I can see yours.
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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,750 Member
    VeeDub wrote: »
    greydonn wrote: »
    MadameLee wrote: »
    there's a big difference in living with five boyfriends or girlfriends and being married to those same five people. One is Polgamous while the other is Polygamgaly.

    It's not in the game without a certain mod at the moment to allow to be married to more then one person

    With MCCC you can get married to more then one person as well, afaik.

    Yeah, you can. The game gets confused when it comes to some things, though, and doesn't always recognize all the spouses as spouses.

    Yeah that's the mod I was referring too. But with it being an in-game option (no mods) it wouldn't have that problem
    6adMCGP.gif
  • LeandroLeandro Posts: 4 New Member
    > @MadameLee said:
    > Yeah that's the mod I was referring too. But with it being an in-game option (no mods) it wouldn't have that problem

    Or could be not an optional, else, sims cant autonomously take a 2nd spouse, only simmers must make it
  • crocobauracrocobaura Posts: 7,376 Member
    What would you call your spouse's other spouse? A spouse in law?
  • Amapola76Amapola76 Posts: 1,904 Member
    Technically Teens can be married if you turn married adult into teen.

    It also works with child and toddler...

    Well, that's horrifying. Seems like a bug that should be fixed, not a template for how to proceed with other issues. :/
  • Amapola76Amapola76 Posts: 1,904 Member
    edited July 2022
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    Personally, I think that more than one spouse makes the point of having a spouse at all pointless. After all, the whole point of marriage is to forsake all others and commit ONLY to one other person.

    That's not actually the "whole point" of marriage. There's far more to the concept of marriage, historically, then the notion of "commitment"...which ultimately is just about the uh..physical...aspects of the relationship.
    Marriage also carries with it social and economic reasons, the division/sharing of labors, including child rearing, and much, much more. Most of these other aspects are actually enhanced with polygamous relationships.

    That's the argument people like to make for polygamy, but the reality is that it tends to be accompanied by child abuse, coercive relationships, domestic violence, and a whole host of other extremely bad things. There are solid, well-researched reasons it's illegal in the US and condemned by the UN.

    Yes, I watched Big Love. No, this is not the source of my information. I have extensive professional knowledge about this; polygamy in real life is almost always a terrible deal for the women and children involved, no matter how some people want to romanticize it for their own purposes.

    Now, does that mean it should or should not be in a sandbox game? It depends. Yes, we have things like kleptomania in the game that we would not support IRL, and that's fine. But at the other end of the spectrum, we have things that we will NEVER have in the game, because they are so taboo. So taboo, in fact, that even a certain modmaker refuses to allow even any mention of them. I won't name them here, because I'm sure it's against forum rules, but I'm sure we could all come up with a few examples of things we will never see in the game and never should. So, the only question then is where does polygamy fall on this spectrum: is it more on the kleptomania end, or is it more on the Unnamed Evil things end of the spectrum. For me, it's on the Unnamed Evil end of the spectrum, because in my professional experience polygamy is inextricably linked to and entwined with some of those same evil things. I am almost always a proponent of the view that this is a sandbox, more options are good, and we should be able to play how we want. But there are some things, like child abuse, that we should never see in the game. For me, personally, this is like that.

    Polyamory is a whole different story, I would have no issues with that being added as an option to the game, because that has to do with the personal relationship arrangements of consenting adults.

    Actually, small caveat: if they wanted to add only polyandry (multiple husbands) and not polygyny (multiple wives), I would be fine with that, because historically polyandry has been FAR less abusive (and obviously more rare) than polygyny. But, you know, that's probably getting into the weeds too much...
  • catloverplayercatloverplayer Posts: 93,393 Member
    Amapola76 wrote: »
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    Personally, I think that more than one spouse makes the point of having a spouse at all pointless. After all, the whole point of marriage is to forsake all others and commit ONLY to one other person.

    That's not actually the "whole point" of marriage. There's far more to the concept of marriage, historically, then the notion of "commitment"...which ultimately is just about the uh..physical...aspects of the relationship.
    Marriage also carries with it social and economic reasons, the division/sharing of labors, including child rearing, and much, much more. Most of these other aspects are actually enhanced with polygamous relationships.

    That's the argument people like to make for polygamy, but the reality is that it tends to be accompanied by child abuse, coercive relationships, domestic violence, and a whole host of other extremely bad things. There are solid, well-researched reasons it's illegal in the US and condemned by the UN.

    Yes, I watched Big Love. No, this is not the source of my information. I have extensive professional knowledge about this; polygamy in real life is almost always a terrible deal for the women and children involved, no matter how some people want to romanticize it for their own purposes.

    Now, does that mean it should or should not be in a sandbox game? It depends. Yes, we have things like kleptomania in the game that we would not support IRL, and that's fine. But at the other end of the spectrum, we have things that we will NEVER have in the game, because they are so taboo. So taboo, in fact, that even a certain modmaker refuses to allow even any mention of them. I won't name them here, because I'm sure it's against forum rules, but I'm sure we could all come up with a few examples of things we will never see in the game and never should. So, the only question then is where does polygamy fall on this spectrum: is it more on the kleptomania end, or is it more on the Unnamed Evil things end of the spectrum. For me, it's on the Unnamed Evil end of the spectrum, because in my professional experience polygamy is inextricably linked to and entwined with some of those same evil things. I am almost always a proponent of the view that this is a sandbox, more options are good, and we should be able to play how we want. But there are some things, like child abuse, that we should never see in the game. For me, personally, this is like that.

    Polyamory is a whole different story, I would have no issues with that being added as an option to the game, because that has to do with the personal relationship arrangements of consenting adults.

    Actually, small caveat: if they wanted to add only polyandry (multiple husbands) and not polygyny (multiple wives), I would be fine with that, because historically polyandry has been FAR less abusive (and obviously more rare) than polygyny. But, you know, that's probably getting into the weeds too much...

    There is no domestic violence in the Sims 4 though thank goodness.
  • JALJAL Posts: 1,031 Member
    edited July 2022
    I agree with everyone who says that any such feature will have to be opt-in at all times, and never autonomous or happen to townies without players say so.

    As for morality, right and wrong and all that, this is a game, not real life, so who cares? There are plenty of games where you do unspeakable things (GTA, Assassin's creed...) and so what? It's not like it's real life. Leave the hows up to the players. To each his own, my moral values shouldn't dictate how someone else play a computer game.

    I do, however agree, that child abuse and domestic violence should not be in game, as there should be some limits to what goes into a game that is played by very young people.
    Moreover, I advise that the cart button must be destroyed!
  • LJKLJK Posts: 257 Member
    edited July 2022
    Amapola76 wrote: »
    Stormkeep wrote: »
    Personally, I think that more than one spouse makes the point of having a spouse at all pointless. After all, the whole point of marriage is to forsake all others and commit ONLY to one other person.

    That's not actually the "whole point" of marriage. There's far more to the concept of marriage, historically, then the notion of "commitment"...which ultimately is just about the uh..physical...aspects of the relationship.
    Marriage also carries with it social and economic reasons, the division/sharing of labors, including child rearing, and much, much more. Most of these other aspects are actually enhanced with polygamous relationships.

    That's the argument people like to make for polygamy, but the reality is that it tends to be accompanied by child abuse, coercive relationships, domestic violence, and a whole host of other extremely bad things. There are solid, well-researched reasons it's illegal in the US and condemned by the UN.

    Yes, I watched Big Love. No, this is not the source of my information. I have extensive professional knowledge about this; polygamy in real life is almost always a terrible deal for the women and children involved, no matter how some people want to romanticize it for their own purposes.

    Now, does that mean it should or should not be in a sandbox game? It depends. Yes, we have things like kleptomania in the game that we would not support IRL, and that's fine. But at the other end of the spectrum, we have things that we will NEVER have in the game, because they are so taboo. So taboo, in fact, that even a certain modmaker refuses to allow even any mention of them. I won't name them here, because I'm sure it's against forum rules, but I'm sure we could all come up with a few examples of things we will never see in the game and never should. So, the only question then is where does polygamy fall on this spectrum: is it more on the kleptomania end, or is it more on the Unnamed Evil things end of the spectrum. For me, it's on the Unnamed Evil end of the spectrum, because in my professional experience polygamy is inextricably linked to and entwined with some of those same evil things. I am almost always a proponent of the view that this is a sandbox, more options are good, and we should be able to play how we want. But there are some things, like child abuse, that we should never see in the game. For me, personally, this is like that.

    Polyamory is a whole different story, I would have no issues with that being added as an option to the game, because that has to do with the personal relationship arrangements of consenting adults.

    Actually, small caveat: if they wanted to add only polyandry (multiple husbands) and not polygyny (multiple wives), I would be fine with that, because historically polyandry has been FAR less abusive (and obviously more rare) than polygyny. But, you know, that's probably getting into the weeds too much...

    heh forgot about this thread, i even forgot a guru was considering this

    I know you were just replying to someone who was also relatively off-topic, but I think you're kind of missing the point, as your post seems largely biased because you (supposedly) have knowledge of polygamy in real life being tied to things like domestic violence. But this isn't real life, so everything related to the words "real life" in your post is not relevant (nor all previous posts). The game devs could just... not program that in. They never would. They programmed snow-boarding in, but didn't add broken bones or blood. You're also appealing to your own authority, which is a fallacy and isn't relevant here in the context of a hypothetical videogame mechanic. Disbelief and detatchment are always major ingredients in fictional worlds.

    Now, closer to the topic, after thinking about it more, I'm not entirely all for this idea. IF they can do it and do it well, I am very open to it, but the biggest question I have for it is how exactly would it be implemented? At base, it would just let the game recognize when a Sim has more than one spouse, but take beds. They only fit two Sims at max. Is the third Sim going to sleep in their own bed? Because that's terrible, lol. What about Woo-Hoo? It's only between two Sims. Is the third just going to have to wait their turn?

    So while I'm open to the concept, it doesn't seem very practical, unless the developers can get around these constraints, and honestly, I'd rather that they prioritize making romance intimate and meaningful with couples having good reasons for being attracted to each other and animations to show that off, like proper slow-dancing (instead of that safe crap we got in MWS), cuddling, hand-holding, chemistry/attraction as opposed to trying to create solid gameplay around the idea of 3 Sims being in a relationship.
    Post edited by LJK on
  • Amapola76Amapola76 Posts: 1,904 Member
    LJK wrote: »
    You're also appealing to your own authority, which is a fallacy and isn't relevant here in the context of a hypothetical videogame mechanic. Disbelief and detatchment are always major ingredients in fictional worlds.

    Do you agree that there are some things that should be off-limits in a video game (more specifically, the Sims)?

    If so, which things?

    If some things but not others, why do you draw the line where you do, and why is your line of more value than mine?

    I specifically said for me personally, polygamy is over the line and grouped with things I would find unacceptable. That is my opinion and I am entitled to it.

    (You're also using the "appeal to authority fallacy" wrong, but that's another story.)
  • ApricusApricus Posts: 672 Member
    edited July 2022
    My Vlad has two wives. He married Bella Goth, then I used CAS.fulleditmode to make another sim, Morrena, in the household. I added them as fiancé’s in the relationship panel, then married them in game. There’s a bit of a process to it then simply marrying two sims, but it’s quite easy, and it makes it possible.

    Most of my sims will not participate in this type of stuff, and I personally don’t agree with it, but I’m honestly neutral with the entire idea. I did it with Vlad because that’s just who my Vlad is. It can unlock a lot more story options.
    ZjzmtTb.jpg
  • SERVERFRASERVERFRA Posts: 7,122 Member
    I have a Cleopatra sim who is married to my Julius Caesar sim & engaged to my Mark Anthony sim at the same time. :D:p
    By the way, I play vanilla, so somehow this actually worked in my game. B)
  • JALJAL Posts: 1,031 Member
    SERVERFRA wrote: »
    I have a Cleopatra sim who is married to my Julius Caesar sim & engaged to my Mark Anthony sim at the same time. :D:p
    By the way, I play vanilla, so somehow this actually worked in my game. B)

    I had a sim who was married and had girlfriends at the same time, and I've had sims who had several boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time, but not marriage.
    Moreover, I advise that the cart button must be destroyed!
  • LJKLJK Posts: 257 Member
    edited July 2022
    Amapola76 wrote: »
    LJK wrote: »
    You're also appealing to your own authority, which is a fallacy and isn't relevant here in the context of a hypothetical videogame mechanic. Disbelief and detatchment are always major ingredients in fictional worlds.

    Do you agree that there are some things that should be off-limits in a video game (more specifically, the Sims)?

    If so, which things?

    If some things but not others, why do you draw the line where you do, and why is your line of more value than mine?

    I specifically said for me personally, polygamy is over the line and grouped with things I would find unacceptable. That is my opinion and I am entitled to it.

    (You're also using the "appeal to authority fallacy" wrong, but that's another story.)

    Indeed, you did use "for me" numerous times, it just seemed like you were attempting to add extra value to your statements by mentioning your "extensive professional knowledge" and using bold and italics to draw attention to it. And yes, I should've been more specific. The bold is an appeal to self-authority, the italics is more anecdotal. It's questionable because you're a stranger on the Internet, none of us know you have this knowledge beyond your word. So it was weird you mentioned it, to me. Your post is a little defensive, I hope I didn't offend.

    Since your reply is shifting to a pure matter of opinion, we've no problem and on that front, we don't necessarily disagree. Frankly, I'm not certain what value adding it to the game would have, when romance and intimacy in this game is very shallow and "kiddie" and the game hardly completely supports polygamy in the first place. If my Sim can't treat one wife as equally as the other, I don't want it at all.
  • Amapola76Amapola76 Posts: 1,904 Member
    edited July 2022
    LJK wrote: »
    Amapola76 wrote: »
    LJK wrote: »
    You're also appealing to your own authority, which is a fallacy and isn't relevant here in the context of a hypothetical videogame mechanic. Disbelief and detatchment are always major ingredients in fictional worlds.

    Do you agree that there are some things that should be off-limits in a video game (more specifically, the Sims)?

    If so, which things?

    If some things but not others, why do you draw the line where you do, and why is your line of more value than mine?

    I specifically said for me personally, polygamy is over the line and grouped with things I would find unacceptable. That is my opinion and I am entitled to it.

    (You're also using the "appeal to authority fallacy" wrong, but that's another story.)

    Indeed, you did use "for me" numerous times, it just seemed like you were attempting to add extra value to your statements by mentioning your "extensive professional knowledge" and using bold and italics to draw attention to it. And yes, I should've been more specific. The bold is an appeal to self-authority, the italics is more anecdotal. It's questionable because you're a stranger on the Internet, none of us know you have this knowledge beyond your word. So it was weird you mentioned it, to me. Your post is a little defensive, I hope I didn't offend.

    Since your reply is shifting to a pure matter of opinion, we've no problem and on that front, we don't necessarily disagree. Frankly, I'm not certain what value adding it to the game would have, when romance and intimacy in this game is very shallow and "kiddie" and the game hardly completely supports polygamy in the first place. If my Sim can't treat one wife as equally as the other, I don't want it at all.

    I am indeed an anonymous stranger. However, I know who I am and what my experience is, and therefore that knowledge quite rightly informs my own opinion.

    Most of what we talk about on this forum is our own personal experience and how it relates to the game; just look at the current thread on whether the High School EP accurately reflects players' own high school experiences.

    That being said, no one else has to listen to me, but literally anyone can google the extremely strong links between polygamy and child mortality, child abuse, child marriage, child trafficking, domestic violence, and on and on. Most of those things are very rightly not allowed in the game. You didn't answer my question above, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you wouldn't want things like child abuse (or worse) in the game. So a line has to be drawn somewhere. My point, obviously, is that because of the links between all of those things--which are well-documented by many sources, not just me-- I group all of those things together as being a unique level of evil at a different end of the moral spectrum than something like shoplifting.

    Some of the people here don't, and that's up to them. But enough people do find it disturbing that I also think it would be a very bad business decision for EA.
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