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I don't know who needs to hear this, but your save doesn't have to be "perfect".

So I haven't been playing The Sims for nearly as long as many of you guys, but while browsing this forum and pretty much any other TS-related site, I've come across something people talk about a lot - perfectionism.

I think a lot of us have been there at some point. Maybe you're trying out a new gameplay aspect or are playing through a storyline you came up with. You're excited to see where it all goes - until you realize it's heading in the "wrong" direction real fast. Perhaps your Sim finally managed to save up for a stove, only to immediately start a fire and destroy both it and the counter when trying to make eggs and toast for breakfast. Or maybe you found a cute townie to marry your Sim to, but it just won't click between them, and all their meetings end in embarrassment. Some of you may have made it past the initial struggles, only to have the goofball bride die of laughter at her own wedding. Oh, but do you hear that? That's the sound of the husband getting abducted by Aliens. Fast forward three days, and you're stuck with Alien twins.
Sounds familiar? Well, then you might have had the thought that the storyline you so carefully planned is essentially ruined. Sure, you can cheat the wife back to life and send the babies back to Sixam, but there's no denying what happened. Oh, you've reloaded the save? Turns out you haven't saved in four hours and your starter Sim is back in her tent, complaining about being dirty because you cannot afford a tub, and her only skill being video gaming because she won't do anything productive on her own.

Might as well trash the save altogether, huh?
And that's where the problem lies. For a lot of people, everything must go according to plan. Sims must quickly advance in their careers, marry a handsome / beautiful townie and have babies. Of course, they absolutely mustn't look ugly, so they usually get sent to CAS as soon as they age up. Many people can't seem to just let go, and, as I've found, that's often where it all stops being fun.
Even if The Sims isn't particularly realistic in many regards, it's still a life simulator, and life rarely goes according to plan. As frustrating as it can be to have your story messed up by random events, it doesn't have to turn out all bad. In fact, it's what's spiced up my past saves. It's those situations that lead to the truly wacky stories and spicy drama that a lot of us love. The problem is that we only seem to accept it when we are the ones causing it, but let's be real - you knew it was going to happen, how, and when. It was all laid out before you were even done in CAS. It takes away the excitement and soon replaces it with monotony. You've seen these things before, you played through stories like this before. Not on purpose, perhaps, but all stories seem to follow the same formula, more or less. It gets tiring.
Even if you deem yourself a control freak (like I used to be), try to be less strict with everything. Just let go and see where life takes your Sims. Not all events may be good, but something amazing will still develop from the messy remnants of what you've planned. You just have to let it be. Perhaps you'll find yourself insanely attached to this particular household soon. And why shouldn't you? You've seen it all and gently helped them through it all - the stove fires, the failed holidays, the alien abductions and bladder failures. But you've also experienced all the good things with them. When your Sim finally got together with their sweetheart and they were wed (even if everyone else was busy doing sit-ups, painting on the easel in the studio, and baking eight white cakes). When they settled in in their cute, comfy micro home, only to be blessed with the birth of triplets. Sure, that was rough, but they are the family you've cared for, the one that will be leaving behind in an incredible legacy - whatever form it may take. And a couple generations later, you'll look back on how it all started, and you'll be thankful for the time you didn't send back the baby great-great-great-grandpa had after his abduction, because it's that event that led to your current heir, the one you managed to actually fulfill that one Challenge with that made you struggle in the past, because it all just seemed to finally line up.

And while we're talking about growing attached to Sims - there's another aspect that ties in with this.
Let Sims be ugly. Seriously.
Of course, it's fun to make an absolute dreamboat and dress them in clothes you'd like to have, but probably couldn't even afford IRL. But think of all the times you've stressed about your Sim's spouse's absolutely horrible wardrobe, or how their grandkids lost the genetic lottery and ended up looking like you could start a Prettacy with them. (Actually, that's still a great prompt. See where I'm going with this?)
You've stressed about "fixing" them before, but honestly, is that really worth it? Why not try to just let them be, just this one generation to try it, perhaps? I get the desire to have a visually appealing Sim, I really do. But hey, everyone's got their imperfections, so why not let your Sims have them? Point being, don't stress yourself out about having attractive Sims. Sometimes, it's the ugly ones we grow to love. Plus, it's even better when that one Sim actually ends up looking good for once. ;)

But maybe CAS and Live Mode aren't an issue for you at all. Maybe you're a builder, or just starting getting into this game mode. Either way, you probably know that feeling too, then.
As many of us have (I know I did), you probably started with shoeboxes. Sure, they had everything - a roof, some doors and windows, and home necessities, of course. Enough bedrooms for everyone, maybe even an office. But these houses were, well, boxes. Nothing more, nothing less.
A lot of people advise you to not do that and instead give your house a more interesting shape. And sure, they often look amazing (which is the point of houses, aside from keeping you dry, I guess). But honestly? That's not realistic, either.
Now, this depends on where you live, too, but look around you when you're out, and you realize a lot of houses are boxes IRL too. Sometimes, the window placement is funky, too, just like in the build you've worked on for seven hours only to trash it eventually. Not every house looks like it was personally built by (insert your favourite builder here). In fact, most look pretty average, if even boring. A gray or brick box, a couple windows, a door and a mailbox. Done. Oh, and a roof or a flat top, of course. But that's life.
What I'm trying to say is that not every build has to be this incredibly detailed, beautiful dream house. Sometimes, you work and work on it for hours, and it still looks like that tiny gray shoebox across the street. That's fine, and that's realistic. Not everyone can afford to live in some sort of mansion, and why not start out small and work your way up? Firstly, you won't stress too much about building a pretty house instead of enjoying Live Mode, too. Secondly, you get to take your time, overhaul it when you feel like it and get to practice along the way (bonus points if your Sim becomes an interior designer and gets to renovate that very build later). And last but not least, you'll be spending more time bonding with your Sim if not everything is available and achievable from the start. More actual gameplay! Yay!

In a nutshell, don't stress. Just let things take their course.
1. Life rarely goes according to plan. Let it inspire you, not bring you down.
2. Not everyone looks like a model, and some people naturally have zero fashion sense. It's natural, and it can be quite endearing. Let it be a quirk. They'll grow on you.
3. If your newly built house looks lame, go back to Live Mode. Let your Sim work their way up, practice a bit as you expand. And by the time you've achieved what you wanted in Live Mode and need to move on, you're ready to create a build that's at least a little better than the last. I promise.

Don't let your perfectionism get in the way of experiencing the beautiful wackiness of The Sims! It's really what makes it so endearing.

I know this post got insanely long, but I really wanted to get that out there. I've seen so many people say they've gotten bored, keep doing the same things, or feel discouraged because they aren't good at building or whatever.
Don't waste your time brooding about the things that didn't go as planned. Work with what you have, and I assure you, it's going to be infinitely more entertaining to raise a normal kid and alien twins in a micro home meant for two people without your husband because he drowned in the neighbour's pool, than the cookie cutter story you've already played through a million times.

The motto is to play with life, but honestly - just let life play with your Sims sometimes. :D

Also, if anyone would like to share their own experiences with this, feel free to do so! Would love to hear from you all (and if anyone needs some advice because everything in their save has gone just SO wrong, I'm here)!

Comments

  • BloosmooBloosmoo Posts: 754 Member
    I needed to hear that. Everytime I start a new save and think this time I'm going for gameplay alone, I start building thinking just the community lots. Then I think hmmm maybe the Goth house because that really bothers me and it turns quickly into a build save again. The most fun I have had so far has been with dream home decorater because of the gameplay aspect. Sadly that too turned into a building save, it drives me mad. Nobody is ever going to see these saves, I delete most of them but I get stuck in the world hagving to look perfect. That said my sims themselves are far from it because I like interesting features, big noses, large ears, gap teeth, but in trying to get what I like to see in game, I fail to make really pretty sims....it's like a hamster wheel of insanity.

  • chonkiechonkie Posts: 67 Member
    @Bloosmoo I think it could help you to try and find a balance between building and Live Mode. Have you ever checked out some of the building challenges like Build Newcrest? Those are a pretty good mix of both modes! Basically, you work towards some goals in Live Mode, and then get to build a specific part of town, then rinse and repeat. It'll give you a chance to actually play with your Sims, and you won't be stuck in Build Mode for too long because you unlock venues one by one, so you won't be going down that rabbithole of rebuilding an entire world without ever "going live".
  • BloosmooBloosmoo Posts: 754 Member
    That's a good idea, I'll have a look at that challenge and give it a go. I love building but sometimes it would be nice to really explore gameplay :)
  • chonkiechonkie Posts: 67 Member
    edited February 2022
    @Bloosmoo Good luck, I hope it works out for you! And if that particular challenge doesn't strike your fancy, there are a lot more literal world-building challenges featured on the Masterlist. :)
  • AstroAstro Posts: 6,651 Member
    Amen! Half the fun of the game is seeing where it takes you. Although I will admit I usually always go in a new save with an idea of what I want to happen, same with building or even creating sims. I also take inspiration from others and their sims, their sims' style, building style, etc.

    But, if things don't go the way I want I usually just roll with the punches. Only catch is I play with aging off. :P
    My sims age up when I want them to, lol.
  • chonkiechonkie Posts: 67 Member
    @Astro Having a general idea isn't bad! If you go in not knowing what you want to do it all, you'll get bored anyway. But a lot of frustration and boredom also often comes from being unable to roll with the things the game throws at you, I think.

    And as for aging, I don't think it has that much impact on normal gameplay, anyway - it just helps you play at a pace you're comfortable with. If you get bored of the same Sims quickly, play on Short. If you want to spend more time with them to get attached to them, pick Normal or Long. There's something for everyone. :)
  • TeeSeaTeeSea Posts: 1,556 Member
    My husband always jokes that I have “perfect game” syndrome. As I have gotten older though I find I am less and less a perfect game person.
  • JunkyPoemJunkyPoem Posts: 135 Member
    20yrs+ Micromanaging this sandbox

    Kind of feel the same way you do now. Forced myself to keep the same file regardless of updates, bugs, deaths, etc. It's been a year. The result, it's a more entertaining way of challenging yourself & surprisingly less stressful not overhauling everything.

    My 'super-sim' matriarch was supposed to wait til adulthood before kids but she just adopted one of the 3 from Too Many Toddlers, because I fell in love with her & wanted more gameplay.

    Oh, forgot to take pictures of that amazing night out? Guess I'll snap one of her stumbling home & faceplanting right by the bed.

    Oops, forgot to turn aging off and lost Dennis Kim & the Elderberry's before I played with them? I'm still grieving over that, but now it's part of their history.

    I'm bored. Rng, who gets deleted? I mean, dies or moves away. Matriarch & family excluded.

    Ughh, here comes that eyesore again at every bar & cafe my sim frequents! Only change a pair of pants or makeup, but leave the rest. The ugliest thing, I select as their favorite color preference.

    Over the year, I've started humanizing them. They slouch, get adult acne, start balding & get flat butts now. Especially if it matches their traits. Some of them have noticeable under/overbites, crooked teeth, big noses, thin lips & bad/dated hairstyles.

    In a nutshell (haha), after your post, I'm encouraged to keep up with my wacky way of gameplay.
    Someone's getting a make-under today...
  • FurAndYarnFurAndYarn Posts: 459 Member
    So many good points. I was a bit of a micromanager in previous Sims games, but I made a change when I started playing Sims 4. I swore that I would control some aspects, but if "mistakes" happened I would just go with the flow. I am now 42 generations into the family of that first sim and I have come to love (and sometimes cry or get angry with) all the weird twists and turns that happen. I even throw in specific mods to cause extra chaos now and then. Changing the way I play has been great and has made me enjoy this franchise so much more.
    Explore the story of my over 50-generation legacy family!
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  • ElliandreElliandre Posts: 2,468 Member
    This was all excellent advice. I was really struck by your comment, "Let Sims be ugly." I have a real problem with this. It all started when I decided Vlad should have children of his own. He married Cat Cove. A beautiful and evil vampire. Together they produced the ugliest Sim child I have ever seen in my entire life. No words to describe the thing. It was just hideous. I tried very hard to nurture it, but I just couldn't. I scratched the save. I then decided to try again to give the couple some children. This time I had an idea to make the children in CAS, something I've never done. After adding the parents in the genetics and pressing random child approximately 1000 times a beautiful, adorable boy appeared. So cute, with pointy elf ears from his mother. So I kept the child, and then for what felt like several hours later of clicking random child again, I was able to produce a beautiful teenage girl for a big sister. But then I started to do this for so many other ugly Sims. Now all the Sims in my save who have children have very cute children. I like so much how they look, but there is this feeling of loss in me. I didn't get to play out the pregnancy aspect of family game play. I didn't get to play them raising the children from toddler years. And now I want to start a new save for the new pack, but I don't know what to do. When I download my families and their cute kids from the gallery into the game, I miss the pregnancy and raising of them. When I don't, and see the ugly kids they create themselves, I miss the cute ones waiting in the gallery. I am conflicted now. What should I do?
  • simmeroriginsimmerorigin Posts: 1,370 Member
    One of the best decision I did was playing strictly "wants-based" in the Sims 2. For example, if there's no want to gain a skill point, then I will not instruct the Sim to gain the skill. I have a lot more Sims not maxing out their career or getting a 4.0 from university. Once I stopped being afraid of failure and making perfect Sims, the game became more enjoyable and filled with more diverse experiences.
    He/him | Simmer since Sims 1 | Active Sims 2 wants-based rotational player, Sims 3 legacy player | My gameplay rules via PleasantSims | Bring back challenge and depth to the Sims: https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/comment/17959464/#Comment_17959464
  • BookBearBookBear Posts: 488 Member
    @Elliandre
    Well, you could try meeting halfway. Say have them have a baby, then when it ages up, after giving it a cosmetic makeover, allow yourself to change 1-3 small things, keeping in the general look. Like making an extremely large nose just regularly large. You can slowly get used to being not perfect.
    Offering free hugs for your time of need.
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  • ncisGibbs02ncisGibbs02 Posts: 2,019 Member
    edited February 2022
    @chonkie
    In a nutshell, don't stress. Just let things take their course.
    1. Life rarely goes according to plan. Let it inspire you, not bring you down.
    2. Not everyone looks like a model, and some people naturally have zero fashion sense. It's natural, and it can be quite endearing. Let it be a quirk. They'll grow on you.
    3. If your newly built house looks lame, go back to Live Mode. Let your Sim work their way up, practice a bit as you expand. And by the time you've achieved what you wanted in Live Mode and need to move on, you're ready to create a build that's at least a little better than the last. I promise.


    I like the idea of not getting stressed with what you started out with and what happens in game.
    I often get very frustrated with my Sims and sometimes the house I build doesn’t fit what’s occurring, like they have kids so it’s too small! 🤦🏼‍♂️.
    Tonight I downloaded Simproved’s Pride and Prejudice house but the only Sims who can afford it are a couple and the lot is too big for them! 😢.

    I will try to be inspired when they things go awry rather than stress.

    Thanks 😊.
    Now alternating between Sims 2,3 and 4! 😊☕️🌞
  • hely0thely0t Posts: 345 Member
    I agree with everything you said (although I don't consider "ugliness" to be a thing when speaking of visuals). I've been thinking a lot about this stuff since joining the forum and having a look about what people are saying. Sadly, I saw so much whinging and moaning on here, and I was left thinking, "maybe stop striving for a perfection that doesn't exist and enjoy what you've got?" My parents taught me to make do with what I've got and how to go without. It's made me less greedy and envious in life.
    chonkie wrote: »
    In a nutshell, don't stress. Just let things take their course.
    1. Life rarely goes according to plan. Let it inspire you, not bring you down.
    2. Not everyone looks like a model, and some people naturally have zero fashion sense. It's natural, and it can be quite endearing. Let it be a quirk. They'll grow on you.
    3. If your newly built house looks lame, go back to Live Mode. Let your Sim work their way up, practice a bit as you expand. And by the time you've achieved what you wanted in Live Mode and need to move on, you're ready to create a build that's at least a little better than the last. I promise.

    1, I have autonomy off but I mainly play as the Sims wanna do, so I complete a lot of their whims for them, let them do as they please while I sort out another Sim in the family, and then I'm looking around the house for them, wondering, "where did he go?", and he's taken himself off to jog for a bit. Maybe it's because I enjoy writing fiction, and I can only write what my characters tell me (fellow writers may relate), so I don't force it, I let it flow naturally. That's exactly how life is. Even if you plan ahead and attempt to prevent a catastrophe, that attempt could in-fact create a catastrophe. You don't know how real life will go, so how can you expect a game like The Sims to go just as you plan? I play the MMORPG RuneScape which has tons to do in it but it's obviously still very rigid in gameplay, but you can still make mistakes with your character and accidentally get them killed during a fight if you've run out of food for them (or in my case, keep forgetting their runes for magic spells, happen to be miles away from a bank, and then they're running for their life because they can't teleport during combat and you also forgot any means to quickly teleport away...)

    2, May be controversial but I'm tired of seeing visually "perfect" Sims. I guess they're pretty if you like that kinda thing, but where are the ordinary Sims? Which is funny to say because these "perfect" Sims look ordinary to me, having no unique character to their features, which leaves them looking quite dull and lifeless. (To be honest, I feel that about real faces as well.) My Sims aren't supermodels and I wouldn't want them to be. When I made my first new family when I got back into playing Sims4 last month, I clicked ONCE on the randomiser and got, who I named, 'Joshua'. He's the one in my profile pic. I think I changed his face a little bit but he cropped up pretty much exactly like that. He's got a cheeky, playful looking face that's full of character, and he's a bit podgy and cuddly. I fell in love with him straight away! :)

    3, Where I live, houses are mostly a box with a roof. That's what I know so that's what I design. I would like to design something a bit more elaborate and fancy eventually, but I'm still starting out and can appreciate I've a long way to go. The process of learning is part of the fun for me. To quote the Doctor (Doctor Who), "the day I know everything, might as well stop".
    "You've got a face, I've got a face, it's all gonna be alright." - Noel Fielding
  • CynnaCynna Posts: 2,369 Member
    Amen, OP. Amen.
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  • NikkihNikkih Posts: 1,758 Member
    I'm always about the gameplay, my game is perfectly imperfect and I love it
  • MantleJackalMantleJackal Posts: 371 Member
    Once I learned to roll with the punches that the game throws at me, my save became a lot more interesting to play with. I was also hesitant to do any serious renovations with the sim's house outside of redecorating over the idea that if I did the house would no longer be appealing or it's no longer it's default appearance. (I like to keep things the same when I can because I don't like fiddling with building since I'm not nearly as skilled with it) However, with my current household I took the plunge and built upon it the way that I've been wanting to, and while it's by no means the best I like the fact that the house now has my own personalized touch.
  • SimburianSimburian Posts: 6,907 Member
    edited April 2022
    Not being a beauty myself I'm not into beautiful Sims at all. I like my Sims to have character rather. You can get very fond of individual ones. I always use my Rusty Styles with his slight paunch and Nannyy Ogg and her not very perfect, fierce feline companion. I got almost enraged when Nanny Ogg suddenly died just after I got her a beautiful new cow. :'(
  • BookBearBookBear Posts: 488 Member
    Simburian wrote: »
    Not being a beauty myself I'm not into beautiful Sims at all. I like my Sims to have character rather. You can get very fond of individual ones. I always use my Rusty Styles with his slight paunch and Nannyy Ogg and her not very perfect, fierce feline companion. I got almost enraged when Nanny Ogg suddenly died just after I got her a beautiful new cow. :'(
    Nanny Ogg from Discworld? Do you have Granny Weatherwax and Magrat, too?
    Offering free hugs for your time of need.
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  • mightyspritemightysprite Posts: 5,808 Member
    Maybe I’m the ultimate self centered parent, but all my sims’ children are beautiful to me o:)
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  • MsDSweetsMsDSweets Posts: 86 Member
    What I humbly believe is we should just play our games, however we play, no matter what the playing style. Don't concern yourself with how anyone else plays. Have a blast!! Create the world(s) you want and play, play, play. Create the best representation of your real world and play, play, play. Create a mix of both and play, play, play. Turn off the noise (voices that want to hold your creativity hostage because of their hang-ups) and Just Play.
  • EricasFreePlayEricasFreePlay Posts: 849 Member
    edited April 2022
    One of the best decision I did was playing strictly "wants-based" in the Sims 2. For example, if there's no want to gain a skill point, then I will not instruct the Sim to gain the skill. I have a lot more Sims not maxing out their career or getting a 4.0 from university. Once I stopped being afraid of failure and making perfect Sims, the game became more enjoyable and filled with more diverse experiences.

    This is how I play Sims 2 also. But somehow most of my Sims still end up keeping 4.0 in University because I play to fulfill Wants, keep GPA up, and build relationships in my game. I have once played a household where a Sim got expelled and didn't enjoy it though. I just reinstalled the game after a few unfortunate events happened and my game didn't work anymore and I am now playing without my College Adjuster mod (stopped working and I don't know if TwoJeffs updated it). I used to be afraid of having final exams at the end of the semester occur in the middle of the night so I always moved them to 8 AM the following morning. I am now actually enjoying not having to do that.
  • PurpleThistlesPurpleThistles Posts: 618 Member
    This is how I always play. When I make a sim to start a save, I literally randomise everything and force myself to keep the results. I prefer to play with an empty lot and no money so a house gets built along the way. And I play by using wants, wishes and whims across the games. I recently went back to playing the Sims 3 and the amount of autonomy compared to the Sims 4 is huge. I have to add a ton of mods to the Sims 4 to improve autonomy but use none for the Sims 3. I prefer my Sims to decide for themselves what kind of life they live and work my stories around that.

    Can I add to your list and suggest playing with random traits? It's so easy to give your sim all good traits or add one mild negative trait however it is a lot more fun to randomise traits and play with what you get. I have seen many things in the game that I hadn't seen before because I was always playing with the same handful of traits.
  • SimburianSimburian Posts: 6,907 Member
    BookBear wrote: »
    Simburian wrote: »
    Not being a beauty myself I'm not into beautiful Sims at all. I like my Sims to have character rather. You can get very fond of individual ones. I always use my Rusty Styles with his slight paunch and Nannyy Ogg and her not very perfect, fierce feline companion. I got almost enraged when Nanny Ogg suddenly died just after I got her a beautiful new cow. :'(
    Nanny Ogg from Discworld? Do you have Granny Weatherwax and Magrat, too?

    I only made Nanny Ogg and her cat Gweebo as I was experimenting with the CAS that came with Realm of Magic and then went back to building a house for her. I made a mistake with Gweebo her cat though as I forgot to make her male!

    I think I might go back and give her a makeover, change Gweebo's sex and create the other two witches as I think they'd live well in Henford on Bagley, keeping chickens and a cow. I wish there were sheep as well. There's some CAS there that would suit Magrat.
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