I think people should stop regulating who other consenting adults are allowed to be romantically and/or emotionally connected to. I really see no difference between telling consenting adults they can't have a same sex marriage and telling consenting adults they can't have a marriage involving more than two people. Seriously, quit telling consenting adults what to do. And quit assuming that everyone in those marriages has been brain washed or forced into it.
My sims that are in multirelationships would like to marry all of their partners thank you. Play your way pfffff. Only if it fits into some middle class christians idea of moral standards I guess?
If the person that I married decided he/she wanted another spouse as well. I would wish them the best and leave the relationship so they could fulfill that desire.
The difference between this and consensual polygamy (even consensual polyamory) is that in the example above you entered an agreement with one person, who then tried to change that agreement without consulting you. This is like a breach of contract in law terms.
If a person takes a (or several) consenting partner(s)/spouse(s), then takes (an) additional partner(s)/spouse(s) with knowledge by, but without the consent of existing one(s), this is a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
If a person takes on an additional partner/spouse without knowledge (and by default, also consent) by the existing partner(s)/spouse(s), this is again a breach of contract with the existing partner(s)/spouse(s).
However...
If a couple find themselves interested in a third party, discuss it together, then discuss with the third party and that third party joins in the relationship, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If 3 single people meet, hook up casually and then decide to stay as a throuple, this is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
If a person is involved with 2 others, who know of each other but only have a platonic relationship between them and the two partners don't mind (or actively enjoy) sharing the same partner, then that is a mutually beneficial agreement between 3 consenting adults.
Now on to how to do this in game and make everyone happy:
We would need two separate toggles (checkboxes, not radio buttons) to allow polyamory:
Consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners with consent from existng partner(s)).
Non-consensual polyamory (allow multiple partners without consent, cheating) - Note: Player initiated always allowed.
And a third toggle to allow or disallow poly marriage.
With these options you could:
Disallow consensual poly relationships. Disallow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Disallow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Disallow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Allow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Allow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships and allow them to marry. Disallow cheating/bigamy from non-consensual poly relationships.
Allow consensual poly relationships but not allow them to marry. Allow cheating from non-consensual poly relationships.
This way everyone is covered, and it also resolves the accidental cheating when Flirty and in group chats.
I understand and agree with what you're saying. Marriage has always been a contract between individuals (some being forced into said contract). Again, it's up to the individuals in the relationship. I personally wouldn't do it. And my original concerns have still gone unanswered.
You explain quite well how adding another member to the relationship works. The problem is that people are as much, if not more governed by emotion more than logic. So what I'm talking about is the emotional side of it.
What happens if three people get into a consensual relationship and one of them gets jealous that the other two are spending more time together than with that one? Or if there turns out to be a personality clash between two? One person will have to make a choice. This happens in monogamous relationships often enough. Add more people and you substantially create the potential scenario.
This is why I personally would not be involved in that situation. People are too incapable to deal logically with emotional situations. I am not saying that people should not be allowed to do it. I'm just saying that if you do, you are more than likely setting yourself up for mental and emotional damage. So since this happens so often in monogamous relationships, why add more chances for it to happen? I mean, if it's about feelings and not physical desire, then become bff's with one or the other. You don't have to share a bed for that. If it's about physical desire, then doesn't that mean that at least one person in the relationship isn't physically attractive enough for one of the others? That's got to have a nagging subconscious affect.
As for in the game, it is only a game but a game about simulating life. This means that if you were to add a feature, you have to add the goods and bads of that feature to show at least some hint realism with it. Add a washing machine, then that washing machine has to be capable of breaking. Add weather and there must be storms. Any aspect of any scenario has to have good and bad in order for the human mind to accept it. This is why utopia is such a grand aspiration but is realistically unattainable.
Anyway, this discussion is turning, at least in my mind, too much about changing society than changing a game. So I'll just say that with that in mind, if we can't even keep the conversation game-based in here, how can it remain game based in the game?
I didn't think anywhere you could legally marry more than one person? At least in N. America. However with sims can you not have multiple partners if you don't choose jealousy as a trait? And I'm just asking not trying to be controversial?
After all Sims don't even have to go buy a marriage license first.
"Every child matters. If we fail our children, we are bound to fail our present, our future, faith, cultures, and civilizations as well."
Ok. Let us all calm down. Remember, this discussion is about the game.
Let me state my opinion on the matter.
For me, The Sims should be a sandbox game, meaning players should be able to play it however they want. So I won't be against it coming to the game. However, I would like some toggles due to the Neighborhood Stories feature.
The Sims should be played the way the player feels comfortable.
It's sad how much poly relationships are not accepted even in the sims community
As if the Sims community are all forced to share the same ideas and values.
Indeed. The one wonderful part of the world is that every person is different. It would be so dull and boring if every person were the same. So, please, let's accept the fact that other people have different opinions. After all, The Sims Community is a collection of people, not robots.
I think people should stop regulating who other consenting adults are allowed to be romantically and/or emotionally connected to. I really see no difference between telling consenting adults they can't have a same sex marriage and telling consenting adults they can't have a marriage involving more than two people. Seriously, quit telling consenting adults what to do. And quit assuming that everyone in those marriages has been brain washed or forced into it.
My sims that are in multirelationships would like to marry all of their partners thank you. Play your way pfffff. Only if it fits into some middle class christians idea of moral standards I guess?
This discussion isn't here to discuss what people think of the concept, but rather if it should be in the game in the first place. Also, I'm not a christian...
the United Nations Human Rights Committee reported that polygamy violates the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, citing concerns that the lack of "equality of treatment with regard to the right to marry" meant that polygamy violates the dignity of women
If it's allowed, Abortion, Teen Pregrancy, Teen Wedding and Teen/Adult Romance should be allowed too ?
I'm sorry, I don't see the similarities. The TP stuff isn't in the game because of the age rating. Please don't confuse one concept to other unrelated concepts you don't like.
Though only one good argument I've seen against it is that it could raise the game rating. Though I don't know myself if it would or not...
I have no problem at all as I have friends that have been in poly relations and only when all were in agreement of the relationship
But as this is not everyone's game play there should be a way to opt out maybe an aspiration or trait that allows to have more than one wife/husband
What happens if three people get into a consensual relationship and one of them gets jealous that the other two are spending more time together than with that one? Or if there turns out to be a personality clash between two? One person will have to make a choice. This happens in monogamous relationships often enough. Add more people and you substantially create the potential scenario.
You answered you own question there with "This happens in monogamous relationships often enough." - You do the same things monogamous couples do. Talk it out, try to resolve the issues, if issues cant be resolved then consider leaving the relationship. In the case of a throuple and one being upset, they might end up as a couple and a single, rather than 2 single sims. Otherwise, the issues are the same.
If it was a marriage situation, then each person would be legally married to each person they were romantically involved with, and would only need to dissolve that part of the marriage, not marriage to everyone. Every pairing of spouses is treated as an individual marriage, and thus can be dissolved.
Just like sims can join in the relationship at any time, they can leave it the same way.
I didn't think anywhere you could legally marry more than one person? At least in N. America. However with sims can you not have multiple partners if you don't choose jealousy as a trait? And I'm just asking not trying to be controversial?
After all Sims don't even have to go buy a marriage license first.
You have to BUY a marriage license??? Here you just file it and pay for the admin. I suppose it's more or less the same thing.
In some cultures it is acceptable to have mutliple wives. I don't personally agree with it, and these cultures, in my opinion, don't always treat women as equals but as posessions.
In another faith though, all wives are to be treated equally. If you buy wife number one a chocolate, number 2 has to get the exact same.
And I say specifically "wives" and not "spouses" because generally in the afforementioned circumstances, women aren't allowed to be dominant, so women can't choose to have multiple spouses, be it either male or female spouses. LGBTQI+ is also taboo in these cultures.
This to me is a far bigger representation of oppression than it is equality.
Still, I feel that this is a social issue that does not belong in the sims. Have your extramarital affairs, but leave multiple spouses out.
Note, this is my opinion, I do not speak for nor represent any of the above cultures, I do not mean to cause offense.
@Darkshadow608 It could just be admin cost here as well. Its been over 50 years for me so can't really remember. LOL
Still, I feel that this is a social issue that does not belong in the sims. Have your extramarital affairs, but leave multiple spouses out
Agree 100%
I've heard of multiple wives here but only the first one is actually legal. The others have been "within there own belief system" Gee I wonder if they took Forsaking all others out of their vows. ha ha Now you can see how old I am.
"Every child matters. If we fail our children, we are bound to fail our present, our future, faith, cultures, and civilizations as well."
I play with MCCC and enable this sometimes for some sims/stories, so I'm personally not against it. However. (there's always a however isn't there lol). I can see it being problematic with how to market and advertise the game, as well as it's rating. I think in the end, there are some things better left for modders lol
@Darkshadow608 It could just be admin cost here as well. Its been over 50 years for me so can't really remember. LOL
Still, I feel that this is a social issue that does not belong in the sims. Have your extramarital affairs, but leave multiple spouses out
Agree 100%
I've heard of multiple wives here but only the first one is actually legal. The others have been "within there own belief system" Gee I wonder if they took Forsaking all others out of their vows. ha ha Now you can see how old I am.
I don't know where you are, but in the UK there are only two parts of wedding vows that that are a legal requirement, and the rest are fully customisable.
Declaration
This is either a statement or an answer to a question where you state you are legally able to marry. This means you are are of age, legally not too closely related (cousins are legal here, I believe, but these days very uncommon, around 1/6000), and not already married. There might be other reasons, but those are the ones I know of.
Contract
This is where each person make a statement or answers a question that you take <name> to be your legally married spouse.
Polygamy isn't legal here (bigamy laws carry up to 7 years in prison and a fine), but people could get married legally to one person and have commitment ceremonies (all the trimmings of the wedding, but no legal tie) for the rest. This could either be combined in one ceremony, or separately. People in poly relationships could also forgo getting married completely.
I read a few sci-fi series where group marriage is legal for humans and even the norm in some alien societies.
I think people should stop regulating who other consenting adults are allowed to be romantically and/or emotionally connected to. I really see no difference between telling consenting adults they can't have a same sex marriage and telling consenting adults they can't have a marriage involving more than two people. Seriously, quit telling consenting adults what to do. And quit assuming that everyone in those marriages has been brain washed or forced into it.
My sims that are in multirelationships would like to marry all of their partners thank you. Play your way pfffff. Only if it fits into some middle class christians idea of moral standards I guess?
Mormons are Christians, this practice used to be widely accepted by them. It's also a religious practice to marry more than one in many cultures, but I thought any religious practices weren't allowed in TS4. (?) Just stating the obvious and the facts. Polygamy didn't spring from secular ideas but from many different religions.
OP, it's a no from me, my female Sims will not play second fiddle to anyone.
"Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.
I'm bored with this conversation. The game isn't going to allow it. Many of us wouldn't do it anyway, whether for moral reasons or gameplay reasons. Religion has little to do with it since religious texts have very clear and multiple examples of polygamy.
As I've stated several times, if you want it; do it. In the game, married is little if anything more than a relative status anyway. N.A.P.'s have a free love action plan so you can have multiple partners if you want and (like with marriage in the game) have them still live apart or together.
This conversation has gone well beyond the purview of the game so I'm done with the conversation.
So now, is there a way to stop getting this annoying thread to stop cluttering my notifications so I can see quickly the notifications of threads that I am actually still interested in?
Just a reminder people that the tweet that this is a response to is a SimGru whom wants the "option to allow it down the road" so please look at the OP post on Page 1. So there is the possibility of it being in a game if a SIMGRU wants it.
Just a reminder people that the tweet that this is a response to is a SimGru whom wants the "option to allow it down the road" so please look at the OP post on Page 1. So there is the possibility of it being in a game if a SIMGRU wants it.
Oh I didn't realize it was a guru. Thanks for that. It still doesn't change my opinion of course and I still want this thread to stop popping up in my notifications.
(snip)
It still doesn't change my opinion of course and I still want this thread to stop popping up in my notifications.
The only thing that I know you can do is go to your account options - preferences - notification preferences and deselect 'notify me when people comment on discussions that I have participated in'. I don't know of a way to stop receiving notifications on specific threads.
Edit to add: I suppose a way around this is to bookmark all the other discussions you want to keep receiving notifications on.
Yeah but there are so many threads that I participate in that it seems a lot to do for one thread. It would be nice if each thread had an option to stop following that thread.
I hope they do it throple style and not religious style.
Religion is left out of the game, to exit or not exist in the imagination of the player, so that leaves whatever you mean by "style". Do you mean you approve of plural marriages with up to 3 partners but no more?
I don't mind if the game had the option of it, but if it did, it would make sense to let players toggle it on or off as an option.
Yeah but there are so many threads that I participate in that it seems a lot to do for one thread. It would be nice if each thread had an option to stop following that thread.
You can. Just click on the 'bookmark" star top of page and click it so its clear not yellow. Longer way is top of forum click on star, list all bookmarks and unclick the one you don't want
"Every child matters. If we fail our children, we are bound to fail our present, our future, faith, cultures, and civilizations as well."
I hope they do it throple style and not religious style.
Religion is left out of the game, to exit or not exist in the imagination of the player, so that leaves whatever you mean by "style". Do you mean you approve of plural marriages with up to 3 partners but no more?
I don't mind if the game had the option of it, but if it did, it would make sense to let players toggle it on or off as an option.
If a spouse is good, are spice better?😂
I mean I approve of marriages when every participant is willingly married to each other and disapprove of marriages where one spouse has a harem of spouses that are married only to them (first spouse).
Yeah but there are so many threads that I participate in that it seems a lot to do for one thread. It would be nice if each thread had an option to stop following that thread.
You can deselect 'notify me when people comment on discussions that I have participated in' and, instead, bookmark the threads you're actually interested in to be notified just of those.
I don't know where you are, but in the UK there are only two parts of wedding vows that that are a legal requirement, and the rest are fully customisable.
Western Canada @EmmaVane and yes same here as far as I know. Its been awhile. They still have "obey" (which we changed to cherish) in my original vows. Mind my Ex firmly believed in the obey part. ha ha. Notice "Ex".
"Every child matters. If we fail our children, we are bound to fail our present, our future, faith, cultures, and civilizations as well."
Comments
My sims that are in multirelationships would like to marry all of their partners thank you. Play your way pfffff. Only if it fits into some middle class christians idea of moral standards I guess?
I understand and agree with what you're saying. Marriage has always been a contract between individuals (some being forced into said contract). Again, it's up to the individuals in the relationship. I personally wouldn't do it. And my original concerns have still gone unanswered.
You explain quite well how adding another member to the relationship works. The problem is that people are as much, if not more governed by emotion more than logic. So what I'm talking about is the emotional side of it.
What happens if three people get into a consensual relationship and one of them gets jealous that the other two are spending more time together than with that one? Or if there turns out to be a personality clash between two? One person will have to make a choice. This happens in monogamous relationships often enough. Add more people and you substantially create the potential scenario.
This is why I personally would not be involved in that situation. People are too incapable to deal logically with emotional situations. I am not saying that people should not be allowed to do it. I'm just saying that if you do, you are more than likely setting yourself up for mental and emotional damage. So since this happens so often in monogamous relationships, why add more chances for it to happen? I mean, if it's about feelings and not physical desire, then become bff's with one or the other. You don't have to share a bed for that. If it's about physical desire, then doesn't that mean that at least one person in the relationship isn't physically attractive enough for one of the others? That's got to have a nagging subconscious affect.
As for in the game, it is only a game but a game about simulating life. This means that if you were to add a feature, you have to add the goods and bads of that feature to show at least some hint realism with it. Add a washing machine, then that washing machine has to be capable of breaking. Add weather and there must be storms. Any aspect of any scenario has to have good and bad in order for the human mind to accept it. This is why utopia is such a grand aspiration but is realistically unattainable.
Anyway, this discussion is turning, at least in my mind, too much about changing society than changing a game. So I'll just say that with that in mind, if we can't even keep the conversation game-based in here, how can it remain game based in the game?
After all Sims don't even have to go buy a marriage license first.
AHQ Champion
Thank you. I always get her mixed up with Tamar for some reason.
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The Sims 4 General DiscussionLet me state my opinion on the matter.
For me, The Sims should be a sandbox game, meaning players should be able to play it however they want. So I won't be against it coming to the game. However, I would like some toggles due to the Neighborhood Stories feature.
The Sims should be played the way the player feels comfortable.
Let me reply some of the comments:
Indeed. The one wonderful part of the world is that every person is different. It would be so dull and boring if every person were the same. So, please, let's accept the fact that other people have different opinions. After all, The Sims Community is a collection of people, not robots.
This discussion isn't here to discuss what people think of the concept, but rather if it should be in the game in the first place. Also, I'm not a christian...
I'm sorry, I don't see the similarities. The TP stuff isn't in the game because of the age rating. Please don't confuse one concept to other unrelated concepts you don't like.
Though only one good argument I've seen against it is that it could raise the game rating. Though I don't know myself if it would or not...
Only if I could get my own bathroom! And they pick up after themselves.
AHQ Champion
But as this is not everyone's game play there should be a way to opt out maybe an aspiration or trait that allows to have more than one wife/husband
You answered you own question there with "This happens in monogamous relationships often enough." - You do the same things monogamous couples do. Talk it out, try to resolve the issues, if issues cant be resolved then consider leaving the relationship. In the case of a throuple and one being upset, they might end up as a couple and a single, rather than 2 single sims. Otherwise, the issues are the same.
If it was a marriage situation, then each person would be legally married to each person they were romantically involved with, and would only need to dissolve that part of the marriage, not marriage to everyone. Every pairing of spouses is treated as an individual marriage, and thus can be dissolved.
Just like sims can join in the relationship at any time, they can leave it the same way.
You have to BUY a marriage license??? Here you just file it and pay for the admin. I suppose it's more or less the same thing.
In some cultures it is acceptable to have mutliple wives. I don't personally agree with it, and these cultures, in my opinion, don't always treat women as equals but as posessions.
In another faith though, all wives are to be treated equally. If you buy wife number one a chocolate, number 2 has to get the exact same.
And I say specifically "wives" and not "spouses" because generally in the afforementioned circumstances, women aren't allowed to be dominant, so women can't choose to have multiple spouses, be it either male or female spouses. LGBTQI+ is also taboo in these cultures.
This to me is a far bigger representation of oppression than it is equality.
Still, I feel that this is a social issue that does not belong in the sims. Have your extramarital affairs, but leave multiple spouses out.
Note, this is my opinion, I do not speak for nor represent any of the above cultures, I do not mean to cause offense.
Edited to avoid culture-specific comments
Agree 100%
I've heard of multiple wives here but only the first one is actually legal. The others have been "within there own belief system" Gee I wonder if they took Forsaking all others out of their vows. ha ha Now you can see how old I am.
AHQ Champion
I don't know where you are, but in the UK there are only two parts of wedding vows that that are a legal requirement, and the rest are fully customisable.
Declaration
This is either a statement or an answer to a question where you state you are legally able to marry. This means you are are of age, legally not too closely related (cousins are legal here, I believe, but these days very uncommon, around 1/6000), and not already married. There might be other reasons, but those are the ones I know of.
Contract
This is where each person make a statement or answers a question that you take <name> to be your legally married spouse.
Polygamy isn't legal here (bigamy laws carry up to 7 years in prison and a fine), but people could get married legally to one person and have commitment ceremonies (all the trimmings of the wedding, but no legal tie) for the rest. This could either be combined in one ceremony, or separately. People in poly relationships could also forgo getting married completely.
I read a few sci-fi series where group marriage is legal for humans and even the norm in some alien societies.
Mormons are Christians, this practice used to be widely accepted by them. It's also a religious practice to marry more than one in many cultures, but I thought any religious practices weren't allowed in TS4. (?) Just stating the obvious and the facts. Polygamy didn't spring from secular ideas but from many different religions.
OP, it's a no from me, my female Sims will not play second fiddle to anyone.
As I've stated several times, if you want it; do it. In the game, married is little if anything more than a relative status anyway. N.A.P.'s have a free love action plan so you can have multiple partners if you want and (like with marriage in the game) have them still live apart or together.
This conversation has gone well beyond the purview of the game so I'm done with the conversation.
So now, is there a way to stop getting this annoying thread to stop cluttering my notifications so I can see quickly the notifications of threads that I am actually still interested in?
Oh I didn't realize it was a guru. Thanks for that. It still doesn't change my opinion of course and I still want this thread to stop popping up in my notifications.
The only thing that I know you can do is go to your account options - preferences - notification preferences and deselect 'notify me when people comment on discussions that I have participated in'. I don't know of a way to stop receiving notifications on specific threads.
Edit to add: I suppose a way around this is to bookmark all the other discussions you want to keep receiving notifications on.
Religion is left out of the game, to exit or not exist in the imagination of the player, so that leaves whatever you mean by "style". Do you mean you approve of plural marriages with up to 3 partners but no more?
I don't mind if the game had the option of it, but if it did, it would make sense to let players toggle it on or off as an option.
If a spouse is good, are spice better?😂
```
You can. Just click on the 'bookmark" star top of page and click it so its clear not yellow. Longer way is top of forum click on star, list all bookmarks and unclick the one you don't want
AHQ Champion
I mean I approve of marriages when every participant is willingly married to each other and disapprove of marriages where one spouse has a harem of spouses that are married only to them (first spouse).
You can deselect 'notify me when people comment on discussions that I have participated in' and, instead, bookmark the threads you're actually interested in to be notified just of those.
Western Canada @EmmaVane and yes same here as far as I know. Its been awhile.
AHQ Champion