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Baking By Death | Book Two - On Hiatus

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
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    Starting this Week: Underworld Family Values
    Baking By Death is back, baby! Book 2 finds Alice and Vlad dragging their whole family to the Underworld, and it's gonna get wild. Have I made an opening credits machinima? You betcha.

    Story Announcement and video here.


    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • SnowBnuuySnowBnuuy Posts: 1,767 Member
    Eeeee I'm very excited to see where things go!
    they/them or she/her
  • JustKeepSimming2JustKeepSimming2 Posts: 31 Member
    I am really enjoying this story! Good job!
  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    I am really enjoying this story! Good job!

    Ahh! Thank you :-) (also your avatar <3<3<3)
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    New!

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    Chapter 1, Part 1: Brand New Bag

    Change is possible, isn’t it? Vlad and Alice arrive in the Underworld with family in tow. B’Ollithiranon discusses creation with the Universe, and it becomes clear that the greatest threat to Fear is hunger.

    Read it here.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • SnowBnuuySnowBnuuy Posts: 1,767 Member
    edited September 2021
    I’m gonna start commenting on Wordpress instead since I plan to use the forum less, however I ALWAYS end up in everyone’s spam folder on there. So if it seems like I’m ignoring your story I’m not, I am probably in your spam folder! I didn’t want you to think I ditched your story or anything!

    EDIT: forgot to mention that I won’t always have time for comments now but I’ll do my best when I have the time/energy!
    Post edited by SnowBnuuy on
    they/them or she/her
  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
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    Chapter 1, Part 2: Brand New Bag

    Everyone finds themselves in a new situation. Alice confronts Ben about the state of the Underworld, Caleb enjoys his vacation, Akira and Titania get invited in for drinks, and Penny has a hard time sleeping.

    Read it here.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • haneulhaneul Posts: 1,952 Member
    Love the premise of Baking by Death (it's really good!), and Underworld Family Values looks interesting too, but I guess I need to read Book 1 first? It's not a good idea to read them at the same time? I read the prologue and the comments for Underworld Family Values, but I was missing out on a lot so I guess I should get through the 3 seasons of Baking by Death. <3
  • PurpleThistlesPurpleThistles Posts: 618 Member
    I am reading along, I read all of book one and I think I have some sort of weird crush on Vlad. Send help.
  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    haneul wrote: »
    Love the premise of Baking by Death (it's really good!), and Underworld Family Values looks interesting too, but I guess I need to read Book 1 first? It's not a good idea to read them at the same time? I read the prologue and the comments for Underworld Family Values, but I was missing out on a lot so I guess I should get through the 3 seasons of Baking by Death. <3

    Hello! I'm the worst at keeping up on the forums! Let's see, its definitely easier if you've read Baking By Death. Underworld Family Values picks up where it left off. However, if you're good with just buying that there are gods and vampires and living embodiments of wild magic, then dive on in!

    I'm going to try and loop some "prologue" type chapters in so people who just joined won't be completely lost.

    So glad you're enjoying it!
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    I am reading along, I read all of book one and I think I have some sort of weird crush on Vlad. Send help.

    I CANNOT HELP YOU BECAUSE I MADE HIM HANDSOME AND I DID THIS TO MYSELF TOO.

    I warn you that in Book two, Vlad is a stay-at-home monster dad and it might be dangerous for your heart.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
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    Chapter 2, Part 1: Greetings from the Shadow Monster

    A shadowy figure makes its presence known while the Underworld's newest inhabitants start exploring. Miss Hell tells Mikel a story, and Omar has an awkward family dinner.

    Read it here.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    I'm sorry it's so late! In my defense, work is very crazy and we're trying to buy a house and time is a construct. Anyways, here's the chapter:

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    Chapter 2, Part 2: Greetings from the Shadow Monster
    The shadow monster continues to cause problems. Anastasia tells her story, and Vlad struggles not to lose his patience.

    Read it here.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    New chapter! I wish I could get my life together to post a nice litter header like I normally do, but things have been really crazy lately. Anyways, here you go:

    Chapter 3, Part 1: How to Play Pretend

    Somnus gets Miko a gift, Somnus learns about technology, and the Goddess of the Hunt has an unwelcome conversation with her brother. Rabbits figure heavily.
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • Dollyllama108Dollyllama108 Posts: 268 Member
    Look.

    Is there context for what I'm about to post? Yes.

    Am I going to share it with the class? No.

    Does it make any sense even with context? ...no
    THE TRAGIC FLUTE: PART 1
    a BBD fanfiction
    set in Alternate Universe LL-4M4; i.e., The Alternate Universe All of Dolly's Garbage is Contained In

    Pretending to be led to his study, Miss Hell curtsied when she saw him. A handshake would have been perfectly acceptable, even in 1898---but not as far as Bernard was concerned. He hovered over his chair for a few long minutes, making her wait. No doubt enjoying the sharp intake of breath she faked for his benefit, her discomfort giving rise to his pleasure.
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    Finally, he got up and bowed. “Anastasia. Hyun-seok will be delighted to know you’ve called upon us today, I trust you’ve seen him?”
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    The highlight of Miss Hell's visits was getting to see Hyun-seok. See, despite looking like a child's drawing of a poacher, Bernard had an uncanny habit of batting above his league. Hyun-seok, his husband, was no exception. If he'd been alive today, he'd have easily been a supermodel. Nor would Bernard let anyone forget that he pulls: Miss Hell was certain he saw the parties he'd attended while alive as excuses to show off his spouse.

    But that wasn't why Miss Hell loved him. Like anyone else led to believe their worth was tied to their looks, or any mortal who fears death, Hyun-seok had been plagued by insecurities about aging. So when a genie at one of these parties offered eternal youth, he jumped at the chance. Not recommended. Seriously. It happened that---Miss Hell remembered to herself---this genie was particularly clever and twice as evil, so he handed Hyun-seok a flute and challenged him to play any song: if he made it through without any mistakes, his wish would be granted.

    Before his friends could remind him to ask about caveats, Hyun-seok grabbed the flute and started playing "Hot Cross Buns."

    And he never stopped.
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    She noted with great joy that the glass paneling on the doors barely damped the sound, and that a hundred years of practice didn't keep the three-note song from sounding like a toddler was playing it. And here came her favorite part. The melody lasted a few seconds at best, after which Hyun-seok would stare blankly, a brief moment of silence, before resuming his eternal task. It was funny every time. Though Bernard didn't think so. Divorce was improprietous and Hyun-seok was too pretty to divorce anyway---her words, not Bernard's---so he was stuck like this even after death.

    Miss Hell had been the one responsible for keeping Hyun-seok and his flute sonically contained at least a little, but the curse itself was "too hard" to dispel. This time she promised Bernard a workaround in exchange for information.

    “May I ring for tea?” she asked, folding her hands in front her. “You appear parched, though I hope it’s not too forward for me to say.”
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    It wasn’t. Bernard loved excuses. Rules could be bent, propriety be plumbed, if he could get away from his spouse's hot cross buns for a quarter-hour or so.

    “I’ve only just finished a cup,” he replied. “Perhaps a turn in the garden?”
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    Even though the Von Haunt Estate seemed intimidating from the outside, once on the grounds, it was hard to find a free square that remained un-fluted. The hedge maze was as far away as Bernard, tethered to his place of death, could reach. It wasn't enough.

    Pressing the back of her hand to her lips, Miss Hell swallowed down her nausea and nodded. This was nothing but exerting control on Bernard’s part. He couldn’t touch her, couldn’t hurt her, but he could make her describe his past ministrations in such excruciating detail that it felt like she was reliving them. Except for the flute. The flute undercut it a bit, especially since Bernard's eyebrow twitched every time the melody started again.
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    They passed Hyun-seok in the drawing room. Thank you, she told herself, you who are so ignorant of genie customs, for your sacrifice.
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    Around the back of the building was a group of teenage girls happily chatting about their BTS fan fiction. Bernard rolled his eyes at them. "Not everyone keeps falling into relationships with hot people," Miss Hell wanted to say, "stop that."

    They reached the center of the garden maze and Bernard motioned for her to kneel. She felt the crunch of the gravel, focused on the sound, used it to ground herself as his form floated around her. Hyun-seok had followed them to the window, which caused the cohort of girls to scream their lungs out.
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    Through the noise and the cover of the bushes, she could still make out the melody ending. She looked up to see Bernard looking toward his husband, truly pleading. She'd never even imagined what Bernard pleading would look like. Hyun-seok looked out toward both of them, and Miss Hell held her breath, wondering if he'd crossed his last hot bun.
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    Nope.

    Still funny.
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    Catastrophe Theory: If, through loose ends, we could resume/Unrav'ling defects from the loom/And soften as the shuttle mends---/Then save for me a few loose ends!
    Haunted: Picture Oscar Wilde dating Willy Wonka, also Oscar Wilde is still dead
  • Dollyllama108Dollyllama108 Posts: 268 Member
    edited March 2022
    Second half dropped!
    THE TRAGIC FLUTE: PARTE DOS
    a BBD Fanfiction
    set in Alternate Universe LL-4M4; i.e., The One that Lives In the Low-effort Part of Dolly's Brain

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    “Information isn’t free, Anastasia. Confining him is not enough. I want something done about this awful tune.”

    “Of course,” Miss Hell nodded, and her smile was so tight she thought her face might split in half. She'd been waiting for this moment for ages. For once Bernard's ignorance of modern customs worked in her favor: he couldn't pronounce Sade if she said it out loud, so how was he to know if she upgraded Hyun-seok's repertoire to an instrumental version of something with decidedly non-Victorian lyrics? The medium limited her---she couldn't get him to do "Rap God," for one---but, by golly, she did her research, and any song where a very angry lady was yelling at a man, men in general or one particular man who deserved it, made its way into her list of candidates. As did the truly virulent earworms she'd encountered in her years as a vampire.

    “Payment in advance,” he insisted, and she placed the potion on the table, hiding her excitement.

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    If she read the expression behind the flute correctly, Hyun-seok realized what Bernard hadn't. A small part of Miss Hell felt guilty for using the poor man as a prop---he had succeeded in karma-ing Bernard where everyone else had failed, including death, and despite him not being able to speak or listen because of the flute and all, she knew he fared even worse. One day she'd put him on a yacht to Sulani and there wouldn't be a woodwind in sight; it was the least she could do. But today she needed Bernard's cooperation.

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    She unscrewed the cap of the potion and let the vapors fill the room. Within seconds, orange smoke filled Hyun-seok's flute and he fell to the ground, on his back so the flute remained undamaged. As Bernard had vented to the fireplace because he doesn't have any friends, it's impossible to break the flute. Even the fire that took their lives spared it. Although, come to think of it, perhaps it had already broken, becoming a ghost along with its owner, and that's why all further efforts were fruitless. Miss Hell found herself wondering what it would look like if Hyun-seok tried to open a door.

    Bernard's eyes closed and he fell to the floor like a shipwrecked man reaching dry land for the first time in a century. Silence had never been sweeter. Part of Miss Hell wanted to chat and ruin it for him, and she would've if her attention hadn't been focused on his husband's crumpled form.

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    When Hyun-seok rose, he placed his hands on the keys and took another breath: it was clear to anyone that his exhale was going straight into the flute, but anyone with hope left in their hearts wished to the Watcher something new would come out.

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    His first note was the same. He repeated it. A third lower. And---was that a half step? Four different notes. Five whole seconds passed and Hyun-seok was playing something else now, on a whole new level of complexity. Bernard was almost in tears.

    Miss Hell tried to keep herself from choking with laughter.

    Of course Bernard wouldn't recognize the opening vamp of "We Like to Party!" by the Vengaboys.

    The number of unexplained murders in Forgotten Hollow rose by almost 500% in the mid-to-late aughts, and only Miss Hell knew why. It was the dancing Six Flags man. Drove her right off the cliff. And if that's what a few years of intermittent exposure did to her, she could sleep soundly imagining what effect the constant stimulus would have on Bernard.

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    And here he was, thanking her.

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    Bernard's rap sheet was like a CVS receipt and she couldn't think of a more fitting end, but Hyun-seok's only crime was angsting about being in his mid-twenties. That's just a Lord Byron flavor of harmlessly annoying. Maybe she'd come back with an alien buddy---those can erase memories, right?---and free him.

    Or she could leave them like that for another century.

    That seemed easier.
    Post edited by Dollyllama108 on
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    Catastrophe Theory: If, through loose ends, we could resume/Unrav'ling defects from the loom/And soften as the shuttle mends---/Then save for me a few loose ends!
    Haunted: Picture Oscar Wilde dating Willy Wonka, also Oscar Wilde is still dead
  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!! THIS IS PERFECT. I'm crying! I know it says fan fic but I've decided that it is canon. In one of the many timelines, this is just what happened I will not be taking questions at this time.

    gahhhhhh love it <3
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

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  • Dollyllama108Dollyllama108 Posts: 268 Member
    Good, because Anastasia going on a Mr.-Six-induced murder spree is something I love for her.
    banner_both.jpg
    Catastrophe Theory: If, through loose ends, we could resume/Unrav'ling defects from the loom/And soften as the shuttle mends---/Then save for me a few loose ends!
    Haunted: Picture Oscar Wilde dating Willy Wonka, also Oscar Wilde is still dead
  • FeroshaCoutoraFeroshaCoutora Posts: 142 Member
    Good, because Anastasia going on a Mr.-Six-induced murder spree is something I love for her.

    she is just trying to live her best life lol
    Dark Family Comedy & Paranormal Romance

    r0AD3AN.jpg
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