That was so sad, but very well-written. I think it's one of my favourite chapters yet. Poor April. She's just a child who doesn't know what she's doing and who she wants to be. I mean - we've known she was the equivalent of a pouty toddler for a while now, but I can't help but feel bad for her after a chapter like that. The kid just needs a therapist. I have none to offer in Camelot, so all I can do it point towards Dr. Linda from Lucifer.
I wonder what's going to happen when she wakes up. If she wakes up. Will she take her dying thoughts to heart and actually try and change for the better? Or will she click right back into what she knows? She already adores Caleb, but will Lilith tending to her finally mellow her out a little? Or will it just make her despise Lilith more because that's just one more thing that Lilith is good at?
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
I’m glad you’ve chosen to write and keep this chapter.
This chapter is dark, but it so accurately captures the horrible effects of having narcissistic parent/s. You’ve been showing us the effects of April’s years of emotional and psychological abuse from a mother that has s*cked her dry, to the point that April has nothing left but insecurity and jealousy, self-blame, and self-sabotage.
To me, this chapter is so important because throughout this time, April has been trying to find herself using Sandy as her role model. And I feel so sorry for her and watching her sabotage her relationships with her friends. It was really painful to read those, so much more painful than this chapter because April knew what she was doing but she couldn’t stop. She’s such a tragic character I didn’t know how to comment on her anymore (Except her relationship with Caleb, bah. I’m still on the fence to if he can support her since they’ve got similar demons). Here, she’s finally looking at herself again. I mean, I get it, she’s constantly criticising herself and focused on her own shortcomings, I wouldn’t want to introspect myself ever again especially after the tormentor’s gone. And especially when doing so will make April spiral back into old unhealthy habits. But she needed to do this.
She didn’t kill ‘Sandy’, but here she finally admits that being ‘Sandy’ is proving worse. I think she can start healing from this if given the right circumstance and support.
P.S. - Still don’t like Caleb. He understands her, but I still have a strong mental image that they’ll crash and burn together. >_> Please totally prove me wronggg!
And please keep all your chapters. You wrote this so beautifully. The pictures, writing, April's thoughts. I thought it was a masterpiece. Dark one, but still a masterpiece.
EDIT: I also love how you lulled me into a false sense of security that I can finally detach your characters from people I care about and then you go smack this in my face. But I think that's a good thing.
Thanks. I took out huge chunks of text (HUGE chunks. Thousands of words!) and replaced with pictures as I didn't want it to be laborious to read as well as depressing. I'm glad that it worked.
Hopefully April can start to find herself now and it wasn't too little, too late.
You're not wrong about Caleb having similar demons and questioning if that will prove to be a good thing for their relationship or not. Only time will tell if this is the trainwreck everyone thinks/hopes/worries it will be.
A masterpiece? Stop... my face is doing something weird... OMG I'm blushing.
Sorry. We trundle along happily for a few chapters now before the next smack in the face.
Lilith and Melinda, eh? I haven't gotten those vibes from them before, with Lilith sort of acting like a big sister figure to everyone I couldn't really picture her with anyone romantically. I can't imagine she's had many successful romantic relationships over the years to be fair, the whole mind-reading thing would probably aggravate partners a lot. If anyone could deal with it, it would probably be Melinda. Though they would still be a pretty unevenly matched pairing rather than equal partners. But hey, it's early days of them admiring each others's hair so I'm getting way ahead of myself here.
Oh, and makeovers all around! Faith's vampirical salon is doing well.
Don't go building ships on the back of a hair compliment. You know Melinda flusters when anyone pays her attention. Yes, no one will be spared the scissors (and rope, if required.)
Aww, Melinda looks pretty good with the new hairstyle! And I can’t wait to see what Faith does for Lilith and Caleb. I’m hoping for shenanigans where they have to catch him first.
Lying about knowing Seth might not have been the best decision there, though. Especially with Faith being all hot and bothered for him. She might just go and seek him out herself. I wonder if Seth and Lilith were a thing in the past, and what happened to make her dislike him so much now. Also still curious how the whole vampire powers thing works. Lilith and Seth having the same mind-reading abilities and seemingly having history together is very interesting.
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
As much as I would like to ship people, I still have my suspicions. This just highlighted that Lilith isn't telling the truth. I do wonder who Seth is and what their past together is. And why Lilith is worried about bringing vampires around on 'his turf'. Are there vampire districts, like one vampire or a group of vampires controls a certain part of Forgotten Hollow? Or maybe Seth is like an ancient vampire and thinks he controls everything? He does have mind-reading powers like Lilith, but more powerful, so I'm speculating that he is much older than the Vatores or maybe he's just lost more of his humanity. And Caleb seemed worried about Seth, like Seth would reveal some secret to Faith about him and Lilith.
Woops. I was so creeped out by Seth that I completely forgot to comment on everything else.
Geez, April and her itty bitty waist. She’s trying to be better, at least. Her gut reaction is still Sandy, but her apologizing right afterwards gives me hope. She actually did some introspection there, too. That is good. Her wanting to turn herself in is less good, but I see where she’s coming from. It reminds me of myself as a kid. Wanting to make things right the way I thought was best, without thinking about the consequences at all. Her intentions are good, but she’s still not seeing the big picture. Baby steps, April. Baby steps.
Wow, and she’s even offering to apologize to Lilith! I like the little moment of peace the three of them are having there. It almost seems like they’re normal teenagers again. And Melinda has a very good point in Caleb treating her like a child because she’s acting like a literal toddler. Oh, gods. I can’t wait to see what kind of plan April came up with. Especially if it involves Melinda and Faith needing to convince Caleb that she is a woman.
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
Yes... I thought Seth might be quite divisive with his openly dastardly ways, his rogueish charm and, of course, that face. He would give you the time of your life in that rosebush, for sure. You'd probably never be the same, though...
I wonder what that one memory Lilith used is. Her and Caleb in a weirdly empty room in ye olde times... prisoners? Although it seemed to fancy for imprisonment. And he was distant, perhaps? (ok, that's wild speculation considering we could really only see the back of his head haha. But he was far from her and not looking at her, so let's go with that). I guess her only fear is losing Caleb? Or something like that
I wonder what that one memory Lilith used is. Her and Caleb in a weirdly empty room in ye olde times... prisoners? Although it seemed to fancy for imprisonment. And he was distant, perhaps? (ok, that's wild speculation considering we could really only see the back of his head haha. But he was far from her and not looking at her, so let's go with that). I guess her only fear is losing Caleb? Or something like that
I was wondering about that too. If her biggest fear is losing Caleb (and I'm speculating something major here), and it was enough of an event to still spark genuine fear in her when remembering it... I hate going there, but I wonder if that memory was during a time when Caleb was actively trying to end things. Maybe even the first time? What do you think?
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
Comments
Reflecting in the sun.
Chapter 35 - My Epitaph
I wonder what's going to happen when she wakes up. If she wakes up. Will she take her dying thoughts to heart and actually try and change for the better? Or will she click right back into what she knows? She already adores Caleb, but will Lilith tending to her finally mellow her out a little? Or will it just make her despise Lilith more because that's just one more thing that Lilith is good at?
@_sims_Yimi
@DeafSimmer
Sad but still a little hopeful at last
To me, this chapter is so important because throughout this time, April has been trying to find herself using Sandy as her role model. And I feel so sorry for her and watching her sabotage her relationships with her friends. It was really painful to read those, so much more painful than this chapter because April knew what she was doing but she couldn’t stop. She’s such a tragic character I didn’t know how to comment on her anymore (Except her relationship with Caleb, bah. I’m still on the fence to if he can support her since they’ve got similar demons). Here, she’s finally looking at herself again. I mean, I get it, she’s constantly criticising herself and focused on her own shortcomings, I wouldn’t want to introspect myself ever again especially after the tormentor’s gone. And especially when doing so will make April spiral back into old unhealthy habits. But she needed to do this.
She didn’t kill ‘Sandy’, but here she finally admits that being ‘Sandy’ is proving worse. I think she can start healing from this if given the right circumstance and support.
P.S. - Still don’t like Caleb. He understands her, but I still have a strong mental image that they’ll crash and burn together. >_> Please totally prove me wronggg!
And please keep all your chapters. You wrote this so beautifully. The pictures, writing, April's thoughts. I thought it was a masterpiece. Dark one, but still a masterpiece.
EDIT: I also love how you lulled me into a false sense of security that I can finally detach your characters from people I care about and then you go smack this in my face.
Thanks.
@mercuryfoam
You're not wrong about Caleb having similar demons and questioning if that will prove to be a good thing for their relationship or not. Only time will tell if this is the trainwreck everyone thinks/hopes/worries it will be.
A masterpiece? Stop... my face is doing something weird... OMG I'm blushing.
Sorry. We trundle along happily for a few chapters now before the next smack in the face.
Chapter 36 - Easy Prey
Oh, and makeovers all around! Faith's vampirical salon is doing well.
Story Blog | Forum Discussion
Lying about knowing Seth might not have been the best decision there, though. Especially with Faith being all hot and bothered for him. She might just go and seek him out herself. I wonder if Seth and Lilith were a thing in the past, and what happened to make her dislike him so much now. Also still curious how the whole vampire powers thing works. Lilith and Seth having the same mind-reading abilities and seemingly having history together is very interesting.
Site | Thread
You'll get more about Seth next chapter. Eep.
@deafsimmer
@lone_cat
Chapter 37 - Selfish Desires
Geez, April and her itty bitty waist. She’s trying to be better, at least. Her gut reaction is still Sandy, but her apologizing right afterwards gives me hope. She actually did some introspection there, too. That is good. Her wanting to turn herself in is less good, but I see where she’s coming from. It reminds me of myself as a kid. Wanting to make things right the way I thought was best, without thinking about the consequences at all. Her intentions are good, but she’s still not seeing the big picture. Baby steps, April. Baby steps.
Wow, and she’s even offering to apologize to Lilith! I like the little moment of peace the three of them are having there. It almost seems like they’re normal teenagers again. And Melinda has a very good point in Caleb treating her like a child because she’s acting like a literal toddler. Oh, gods. I can’t wait to see what kind of plan April came up with. Especially if it involves Melinda and Faith needing to convince Caleb that she is a woman.
I'd drag Seth into the rosebush.
The plan is... something. I am absolutely dying to share the next chapter now. But I won't.
Gah! Stop it! You know your cute ways are my weakness. I'll give you the chapter title.
Story Blog | Forum Discussion