I feel bad for Finn. I mean, everyone hates the welcome wagon and their spongy fruit cake, that's pretty much a given. xD But to instantly hate all strangers that come knocking on his door... that's not a good thing. I wonder what happened to make him become like that. It seems like something worse than bullies.
Do you mind if I comment on your writing style? The text between pictures often has the "." missing at the end of the sentence. For me it reads easier if it's there. Maybe you can add it to sentences in future chapters?
Post edited by _sims_Yimi on
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@_sims_Yimi Thanks for your comments.
I'm happy with your comments on my writing style and I will try to remember "." from now on.
It's all a teaching process as it's the first time I're translating a story. Without google translate I was completely lost .... but I can still see when the translations are too crazy. I can also see that I often jump around in the present and past in a purely grammatical way. I hope I become more confident with time and along the way I learn a lot by reading other people's stories.
Finn is a loner. ... at least here at the beginning of the story. Part of his behavior is therefore also due to his character traits.
oh gosh, jumping between past and present is no problem for me xD English is my first language and my teachers hated that I could never stick to one through an entire piece.
I also don't mind the broken English because as something me who completely fails to learn other languages I'm always impressed that others can learn English. It's crazy.
Oh I absolutely didn't mean to offend! Please believe me. I like the story, and there's something really endearing about the way @MonaSolstraale writes. I just wanted to help.
Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
Thanks for your question
It is difficult to answer yes or no....
I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story
If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me
My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
I appreciate your interest in following my tale
Oh! I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you
Finn is not a supernatural person...
There will be some supernatural beings in the story .... just think of the cowplants
Maybe even a mermaid or merman
Regarding Naja ... You will soon discover that you have already answered your own question
Oh! I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you
Finn is not a supernatural person...
There will be some supernatural beings in the story .... just think of the cowplants
Maybe even a mermaid or merman
Regarding Naja ... You will soon discover that you have already answered your own question
No, I'm not disappointed that Finn isn't supernatural I was just guessing, but I am not the best at guessing how stories will go . I am so curious to see what happens!
I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
Thanks for your question
It is difficult to answer yes or no....
I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story
If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me
My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
I appreciate your interest in following my tale
Don't be hard on yourself, your writing is great! Even I make grammar mistakes and I am a native English speaker honestly, there are very very few errors and they are extremely minor errors anyway. They don't by any means affect the quality or readability of the story. It's impressive to me that you are writing a story in another language at all!
All caught up! I really like the story Also, learning English by writing stories is really a good thing. I've been doing this myself (I'm Dutch) for quite a time now and if I read my written English stories from a year ago and my stories now, I see how much I've grown. This will be the exact same for you so please, keep it up! You're really doing great!!
Naja starts school and Finn is looking for work in Ohan'ali.
He is immediately contacted by a local woman who kindly asks if she can help him with anything?
I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
Thanks for your question
It is difficult to answer yes or no....
I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story
If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me
My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
I appreciate your interest in following my tale
That is so sweet. And cool, I was curious ^^ my brain says there is something important about dutch but I'm to tired to remember why.
Wie is de mol maybe?
Comments
Chapter 5
Do you mind if I comment on your writing style? The text between pictures often has the "." missing at the end of the sentence. For me it reads easier if it's there. Maybe you can add it to sentences in future chapters?
I'm happy with your comments on my writing style and I will try to remember "." from now on.
Finn is a loner. ... at least here at the beginning of the story. Part of his behavior is therefore also due to his character traits.
I also don't mind the broken English because as something me who completely fails to learn other languages I'm always impressed that others can learn English. It's crazy.
Year Long Community Challenge
I did not feel offended.... I really want to develop and learn
My heart really warms to Finn
Vlad The Dad: A 100 Baby Challenge, Vlad as ‘matriarch’ *COMPLETE*
Breed Out The Weird *COMPLETE*
Oh I absolutely didn't mean to offend! Please believe me. I like the story, and there's something really endearing about the way @MonaSolstraale writes. I just wanted to help.
Didn't think you were xD I'm sure you're gonna get better.
I just relate a ton on grammar errors .
Year Long Community Challenge
@Shadami
@MaggieMarley .....I almost fell in love with Finn when I played him
......... and Muhahaha!!!!
Finally! After a long journey, Finn and Naja have arrived at their destination ... a pristine beach plot in Mua Pel'am.
Chapter 6
Year Long Community Challenge
Naja seemed bored, reading all those books - or maybe she is a bookworm?
Finn is happy though, lots of fishing for him here!
Vlad The Dad: A 100 Baby Challenge, Vlad as ‘matriarch’ *COMPLETE*
Breed Out The Weird *COMPLETE*
I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story
If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me
My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
I appreciate your interest in following my tale
Finn is not a supernatural person...
There will be some supernatural beings in the story .... just think of the cowplants
Maybe even a mermaid or merman
Regarding Naja ... You will soon discover that you have already answered your own question
Vlad The Dad: A 100 Baby Challenge, Vlad as ‘matriarch’ *COMPLETE*
Breed Out The Weird *COMPLETE*
Don't be hard on yourself, your writing is great! Even I make grammar mistakes and I am a native English speaker honestly, there are very very few errors and they are extremely minor errors anyway. They don't by any means affect the quality or readability of the story. It's impressive to me that you are writing a story in another language at all!
Vlad The Dad: A 100 Baby Challenge, Vlad as ‘matriarch’ *COMPLETE*
Breed Out The Weird *COMPLETE*
Finn needed a little peace from his ghosts
I'm glad you like this story and I'm glad I found the courage to share it
He is immediately contacted by a local woman who kindly asks if she can help him with anything?
Chapter 7
That is so sweet. And cool, I was curious ^^ my brain says there is something important about dutch but I'm to tired to remember why.
Wie is de mol maybe?
Enjoying Finn's story
Year Long Community Challenge
The screenshots of Finn swimming are lovely. The ocean in Sulani is always so beautiful Hopefully he stays safe from sharks though
Vlad The Dad: A 100 Baby Challenge, Vlad as ‘matriarch’ *COMPLETE*
Breed Out The Weird *COMPLETE*
Naja does not have an easy time
However, things are going to change for both of them....