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Suggestion/Question Turning Off PMs for Minors

CinebarCinebar Posts: 30,798 Member
edited August 8 in Forum Ideas & Feedback
This is not my personal opinion, I have a question. Would it be wise to turn off personal messages here, for minors until they turn 18? I'm not advocating for this, only asking. Yes, people can report post to them or from groups etc. However, instead of everyone being able to pm each other here, adult to minors, minors to adults and or in groups, would it be a wiser idea to turn this feature off for minors on this site?

Since this site does not allow (and shouldn't) reveal someone's age and also in rules not to openly state age here, I have been wondering for some time now, if it is even possible here to do this on Vanilla forums? Would it be something players would hate, think about and or why not, and why keep the feature?

Many times here I have known Simmers were minors however, left (discontinued) any PM because of that fact. Not because of anything remotely out of line but because it's the better, wiser thing to do. How do others feel about this? If I'm allowed to ask.
"Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.

https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/958714/cinebar-custom-content-clothes-updating-links/p1


Comments

  • Seera1024Seera1024 Posts: 3,348 Member
    The problem is if we're not allowed to PM minors and not allowed to ask for ages, how would the site handle someone PM'ing a minor? We obviously aren't going to know if someone is a minor and we can't ask them either.

    If they don't return anything the sender may think the minor is rude and ignoring them.

    If it does return a failure, then people know if someone is a minor or not.


    I also don't think it's wrong to PM a minor. As there's nothing wrong with having a friendly relationship with a minor. So I'm also not seeing that there is a problem to fix. Which I think is even more critical than the implementation problems. There's not a problem to be solved so money should be spent on fixing the problems the forum and game have.
  • CinebarCinebar Posts: 30,798 Member
    Seera1024 wrote: »
    The problem is if we're not allowed to PM minors and not allowed to ask for ages, how would the site handle someone PM'ing a minor? We obviously aren't going to know if someone is a minor and we can't ask them either.

    If they don't return anything the sender may think the minor is rude and ignoring them.

    If it does return a failure, then people know if someone is a minor or not.


    I also don't think it's wrong to PM a minor. As there's nothing wrong with having a friendly relationship with a minor. So I'm also not seeing that there is a problem to fix. Which I think is even more critical than the implementation problems. There's not a problem to be solved so money should be spent on fixing the problems the forum and game have.

    Private messaging is outside the realm of public. Of course there is nothing wrong with being friendly to minors, however, my question is, is it wise and or wise for EA to continue this practice.
    "Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.

    https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/958714/cinebar-custom-content-clothes-updating-links/p1


  • ChazzzyChazzzy Posts: 4,384 Member
    edited August 9
    This is quite a conundrum. If we are not supposed to announce our ages, then how would we know if someone is a minor or not?

    Or are you proposing that we input our age into the website via private profile settings or something so that the website only allows us to send PMs to other player who are at least 18? Sounds like too much work with not much of a purpose for it. Unless minors start complaining of being harassed, I don’t see it being on anyone’s radar.

    I propose that they create a second website/forum/section, sort of a branch off this one either for members who are all under 18 or one where all members are all above 18. (I’m really tired of my words turning into “plum”, seems so childish to me.)
    Origin & Gallery : ChazzzyGOAT | Simblr : ChazzzyGOAT
  • Seera1024Seera1024 Posts: 3,348 Member
    Cinebar wrote: »
    Seera1024 wrote: »
    The problem is if we're not allowed to PM minors and not allowed to ask for ages, how would the site handle someone PM'ing a minor? We obviously aren't going to know if someone is a minor and we can't ask them either.

    If they don't return anything the sender may think the minor is rude and ignoring them.

    If it does return a failure, then people know if someone is a minor or not.


    I also don't think it's wrong to PM a minor. As there's nothing wrong with having a friendly relationship with a minor. So I'm also not seeing that there is a problem to fix. Which I think is even more critical than the implementation problems. There's not a problem to be solved so money should be spent on fixing the problems the forum and game have.

    Private messaging is outside the realm of public. Of course there is nothing wrong with being friendly to minors, however, my question is, is it wise and or wise for EA to continue this practice.

    Why can't an adult and minor have a private conversation? What's so wrong about that? I don't think there is any more than a very very small minority of adults who use PM's as a way to inappropriately talk with a minor. No where near enough that it warrants hurting the tons of interactions that are just friendly.

    Like:

    "Your avatar is amazing! Where'd you get it?"
    "I need help finding a computer. My mom's given me a budget of X. I was told to PM you to help me find a computer. Can you help, please?"
    "I see your avatar/signature is related to that thing I like that's not Sim related. Did you hear about Y?"


    Plus, you haven't even mentioned how the system would handle it. Not to mention the increase in people going "So and so isn't receiving my PM's. Is there a problem?"

    The moment the mods say that there is not a problem it means that one or more of them is a minor. Breaking the rules. It also would look like they are ignoring the users if they keep quiet to avoid telling if there is a problem or not. It would create a coding nightmare and a moderation nightmare in trying to figure out in implementing something like this.

    Your solution to basically non-existent problem creates worse problems for EA.

    And my first reply is an answer to the is it wise question. If there's not a problem with it, why wouldn't it wise? The problems I mentioned in the first response and the problems I mentioned in the second one would generate a lot more problems for EA than leaving things alone.
  • lisasc360lisasc360 Posts: 13,291 Member
    edited August 10
    This might sound good and all but if a minor was to ask someone from the DNA team to create a sim of them using one of their personal pics and that they would send the pic to the creator's PM, they wouldn't be able to do. And I don't think that it would be a good idea for the minor to share a link to a photo sharing site either on the Activity wall or in a thread for all to see.

    And another thing is that who really knows who is a minor since some younger kids/teens can lie about their age when they sign up for websites as there are some that won't allow them to become members if they a year or 2 or more younger than the required age limit unless the team can add a permission box for parents only to fill out. But even if a minor sees that, they can easily exit out of the registration page and start all over again and clicking on a later year that would make them seem older. This is just my opinion... :)

    Edit to say that even if there is an inappropriate conversation taking place in the PM and if either the minor or the adult feels offended about something in the PM, they can send a moderator a PM asking to look at their PM to see what can be done to keep this from happening again.
  • CinebarCinebar Posts: 30,798 Member
    edited August 10
    lisasc360 wrote: »
    This might sound good and all but if a minor was to ask someone from the DNA team to create a sim of them using one of their personal pics and that they would send the pic to the creator's PM, they wouldn't be able to do. And I don't think that it would be a good idea for the minor to share a link to a photo sharing site either on the Activity wall or in a thread for all to see.

    And another thing is that who really knows who is a minor since some younger kids/teens can lie about their age when they sign up for websites as there are some that won't allow them to become members if they a year or 2 or more younger than the required age limit unless the team can add a permission box for parents only to fill out. But even if a minor sees that, they can easily exit out of the registration page and start all over again and clicking on a later year that would make them seem older. This is just my opinion... :)

    No one should be accepting a picture of a minor. This is one of the things I'm talking about. A minor doesn't have the authority legally to send a pic of themselves, even if they are sixteen. This is a bad protocol if it can happen. I'm only asking the question since this site is a safespace for children, then shouldn't it actually be one? I'm not advocating for anything, I'm only asking EA if the practice of children and adults in discussions or in groups in PMs is a good idea, especially from a parent's perspective if they learn their child (even if upper teen) is having daily conversations with adults in private message sessions. I'm only looking at it from the other side. Of what is possible in a situation like that for either party, child and or reputation of adult. It's a question that should be explored in my opinion. But no, I don't know of any existing problems, but the avenue for a problem is there.
    "Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.

    https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/958714/cinebar-custom-content-clothes-updating-links/p1


  • Seera1024Seera1024 Posts: 3,348 Member
    But why create more and worse problems?

    This site shouldn't be accessed by children. Only teenagers and a above given the game's teen rating.

    I still see no problem with allowing adults and minors to be able to PM each other.

    Any potential problems of adults messaging minors is heavily outweighed by the problems your solution would add. Which you have yet to even acknowledge or try to figure out some way to mitigate them. Because if it's a really problem in your mind, you should be trying to find the best solution that minimizes new problems added.
  • puderosasimspuderosasims Posts: 469 Member
    This sounds pretty exaggerated, to be honest. If minors (or anyone) feel harassed by someone, mods should react quickly and permanently ban this person. But turning PMs off for them completely? Come on. I'm definitely with @Seera1024 here.
    Origin ID: puderosasims | Simblr
    English isn't my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.
    tumblr_n8pqhqmpdh1th4xn0o1_400.gif
  • CinebarCinebar Posts: 30,798 Member
    edited August 11
    This sounds pretty exaggerated, to be honest. If minors (or anyone) feel harassed by someone, mods should react quickly and permanently ban this person. But turning PMs off for them completely? Come on. I'm definitely with @Seera1024 here.

    This isn't about harassment but what can and does happen during PMs. Over time people become friends, personal information is exchanged or learned, sometimes by accident, sometimes because an adult is clever enough to talk to a minor to know how to extract information. I'm not saying this happens here, but I know of a few cases in the past, It isn't necessarily wrong, but my question is why leave this avenue open? As I said once a child/minor (teens are minors) have trust of an adult, like that adult, and or care about that adult, they may not want to say anything and want to continue the friendship. I'm only asking EA if this is a wise and good practice. My parents would have asked an adult why were they involved with someone so young, and why didn't they find friends their own age. Now, that's my parents back in the day. I'm asking both parties if this is wise, from the point of view of a parent looking at adults associating with their children for long term friendships or more, and or from the child advocate to ask an adult why would they continue a long time relaltionship/discussions with minors. It's just a question, and one that EA should think about from all sides.
    "Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.

    https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/958714/cinebar-custom-content-clothes-updating-links/p1


  • Sorak4Sorak4 Posts: 3,070 Member
    edited August 11
    To admit, quite a lot of people on this forum are most likely around the 13-18 part and are mature enough to use PMs responsibly I can strongly bet, blocking PMs for anyone below 18 would probably be a problem as well if they need to ask Gurus in a PM since they're still classed as users when PMing them.
    Winning and spinning
  • SimmingalSimmingal Posts: 963 Member
    edited August 11
    causes more problems rather than being of any help to anyone

    if creepers creep they usually pretend to be minors anyway so thats not helping in the actual problem

    minors again should not be restricted in their right to talk to people just the same as any other age people

    and if some acc is being creep at you they can always report it

    there could be option to opt out of receiving pms for all users though regardless of age

    so those who dont want to receive any sort of pms could opt out of it and the "send pm" thing would not even appear on their profiles

    that way it

    1. does not restrict anyone

    2. does not reveal age

    3. also helps for people that just dont want to talk in private and still like to participate in discussions

    overall the "blindly trusting people" trait is not something every minor has and some adults have it also

    so rather than restricting age group there should just be option if you are that type of person or feel threathened by someone pming you to disable receiving pms
  • puderosasimspuderosasims Posts: 469 Member
    @Cinebar I get what you mean. I also get the parent's point of view. But, personally, I think the Sims forums is one of the less dangerous places in the internet. Mods usually react quickly, and even irrelevant seeming problems get addressed quickly. In my opinion, there's no need for such a step.
    Origin ID: puderosasims | Simblr
    English isn't my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.
    tumblr_n8pqhqmpdh1th4xn0o1_400.gif
  • nerdfashionnerdfashion Posts: 3,593 Member
    Cinebar wrote: »
    lisasc360 wrote: »
    This might sound good and all but if a minor was to ask someone from the DNA team to create a sim of them using one of their personal pics and that they would send the pic to the creator's PM, they wouldn't be able to do. And I don't think that it would be a good idea for the minor to share a link to a photo sharing site either on the Activity wall or in a thread for all to see.

    And another thing is that who really knows who is a minor since some younger kids/teens can lie about their age when they sign up for websites as there are some that won't allow them to become members if they a year or 2 or more younger than the required age limit unless the team can add a permission box for parents only to fill out. But even if a minor sees that, they can easily exit out of the registration page and start all over again and clicking on a later year that would make them seem older. This is just my opinion... :)

    No one should be accepting a picture of a minor. This is one of the things I'm talking about. A minor doesn't have the authority legally to send a pic of themselves, even if they are sixteen. This is a bad protocol if it can happen. I'm only asking the question since this site is a safespace for children, then shouldn't it actually be one? I'm not advocating for anything, I'm only asking EA if the practice of children and adults in discussions or in groups in PMs is a good idea, especially from a parent's perspective if they learn their child (even if upper teen) is having daily conversations with adults in private message sessions. I'm only looking at it from the other side. Of what is possible in a situation like that for either party, child and or reputation of adult. It's a question that should be explored in my opinion. But no, I don't know of any existing problems, but the avenue for a problem is there.

    If this is the case, then it should be up to the parent to restrict their child, not the website.
  • CinebarCinebar Posts: 30,798 Member
    Cinebar wrote: »
    lisasc360 wrote: »
    This might sound good and all but if a minor was to ask someone from the DNA team to create a sim of them using one of their personal pics and that they would send the pic to the creator's PM, they wouldn't be able to do. And I don't think that it would be a good idea for the minor to share a link to a photo sharing site either on the Activity wall or in a thread for all to see.

    And another thing is that who really knows who is a minor since some younger kids/teens can lie about their age when they sign up for websites as there are some that won't allow them to become members if they a year or 2 or more younger than the required age limit unless the team can add a permission box for parents only to fill out. But even if a minor sees that, they can easily exit out of the registration page and start all over again and clicking on a later year that would make them seem older. This is just my opinion... :)

    No one should be accepting a picture of a minor. This is one of the things I'm talking about. A minor doesn't have the authority legally to send a pic of themselves, even if they are sixteen. This is a bad protocol if it can happen. I'm only asking the question since this site is a safespace for children, then shouldn't it actually be one? I'm not advocating for anything, I'm only asking EA if the practice of children and adults in discussions or in groups in PMs is a good idea, especially from a parent's perspective if they learn their child (even if upper teen) is having daily conversations with adults in private message sessions. I'm only looking at it from the other side. Of what is possible in a situation like that for either party, child and or reputation of adult. It's a question that should be explored in my opinion. But no, I don't know of any existing problems, but the avenue for a problem is there.

    If this is the case, then it should be up to the parent to restrict their child, not the website.

    I would agree, but devil's advocate, why have this feature to start with? Why leave themselves open to problems and or problems for parents or even adults, and or for kids? Why is it (the feature) necessary to enjoy or talk about a game?
    "Games Are Not The Place To Tell Stories, Games Are Meant To Let People Tell Their Own Stories"...Will Wright.

    https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/958714/cinebar-custom-content-clothes-updating-links/p1


  • simgirl1010simgirl1010 Posts: 13,521 Member
    One consequence of prohibiting minors access to messaging is they wouldn't be able to enter giveaways. I always send codes by direct message. As do the moderators for their giveaways.
  • darrenfroggydarrenfroggy Posts: 620 Member
    Speaking as a parent here:

    On one hand, having PMs restricted to minors does seem tempting. On the other hand, the forum as such is a social networking site (and flagged accordingly in parental control settings on various apps) and already possible to be blocked if parents choose to do so. I believe that it definitely should be up to the parents to teach their kids responsibility when it comes to online interactions, whether with other minors or with adults.

    That said, I know that it's not always the case. My kid knows what's what when it comes to online stuff and for the time being she's not allowed on them after we've had several discussions on that topic - she's also by law not allowed to have accounts with full access to social interactions anyway). Her friends and schoolmates don't because their parents don't know how to or don't care. But websites shouldn't be the ones held responsible or need to cater to these things. They're easily circumventable, the rules are hard to enforce effectively.

    As someone pointed out in the thread: any system put in place to prevent PMs between minors and adults is likely to be circumvented anyway, both by the minors involved and the potential predators. If there is a reporting system in place and responsible adults on here, rather than putting up walls, education is the better approach, I think.

    For the question about why PMs are even on the site? Because people talk in threads and develop friendships that they might wish to further continue in private (between adults or between minors). It's a staple of message boards and social media everywhere, so why block it specifically on this one?
  • fluttereyesfluttereyes Posts: 2,284 Member
    If you don't allow minors to have PM's, you immediately let people trying to PM them know they are minors and since many simmers use the same username on all sims forums and sites, they are easily identified in those places.
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