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My Miserable Sims -- Advice, Please! UPDATED: How It Turned Out!
NoWayJose527
Posts: 1,456 Member
UPDATE TO THE STORY: It had to happen. After going back and re-reading all I'd ever written about William and Bonnie since they married, the misery was overwhelming. Today, they divorced. Bonnie moved out. William has made a couple changes. First, he hired Naomi Hemphill, an elderly woman who was a live-in housekeeper/nanny for another divorced father before he remarried. She's patient, she's good with children, and she doesn't mind cleaning up messes. Second, William got a full-time job (business career) and will continue his photography business on the side, as time allows.
The three children are doing well, and the atmosphere around the house is so much more pleasant. William has been sad, but at Mrs. Hemphill's urging he's kept busy with physical fitness activities and by sharing his feelings through an online blog.
The surprising thing was that Bonnie showed up at the door only hours later. She hugged the children, and she and William even shared a sad embrace. She realizes that she can't care for the children, but she obviously still wants to be a part of their lives. She and William and Mrs. Hemphill sat down together and had a quiet, civil conversation.
On behalf of William and Bonnie, I'd like to thank everyone who offered advice on this very unhappy situation.
HERE'S HOW IT BEGAN:
William Sorensen is a miserable sim. He's never been too happy, really. He was part of a highly-dysfunctional family I created in CAS many rotations ago. I created a man who hates children, called him a widower, and left him with 7 children to raise, many of them with mean or evil traits. He had only his small salary from the business world, and needless to say, it was a struggle. But, it was interesting, and it's been even more interesting to see how their upbringing (or lack thereof) has affected the six remaining children (one died as a teen).
For William, he decided early on that he didn't want to get married and have a family. He's a loner, but even loners get lonely on occasion, and (with a little prodding from me) he finally -- at the age of 30 -- settled into a relationship with Bonnie. He was hesitant about it, but as she began spending more time at his place, he decided it would be all right if she moved in. There were no plans for marriage or children. Bonnie doesn't even like children.
Well, William soon realized that living with Bonnie wasn't what he wanted. He was on the verge of telling her it was over and that she needed to move out when Bonnie made an announcement of her own. She was pregnant. Now, my family play is a bit conservative and old-fashioned. While I may occasionally have sims living together like Bonnie and William, I generally steer them toward marriage whenever possible, especially if the stork is about to visit. So, William dutifully married Bonnie, feeling all along like it was a big mistake.
After Heaven arrived (where the game came up with that name, I have no idea) Bonnie proved to be totally unfit as a mother. BTW, she was working as a DJ. William does freelance photography. The house was a wreck, Bonnie paid little attention to the baby, and William grew unhappier by the moment. For a while, Bonnie did try to be a good wife and mother, but she just doesn't have those loving, maternal instincts.
So, William knew he had to put an end to the marriage. But, guess what. Before he could talk to Bonnie, she announced that once again she was pregnant. And this time, she had twins.
The family has been struggling along. They have 800 simoleons to their name, three toddlers now, and it's an awful mess! The children are filthy, always near starving, always exhausted, always with their "need attention" bars in the red. The potty chairs aren't emptied, dirty dishes aren't picked up, there's food on the floor, and messes everywhere. William tries, but he can't keep up with the mess, and he's got no time to work. Bonnie doesn't seem to care about him or the children.
FWIW, yes, their love bars are still nearly full, so there's still a physical attraction there, but William really can't take this any longer. (Neither can I.)
So, he's exploring options:
(A) Stay together, tough it out, and be miserable.
(B) Tell Bonnie to take the children and go.
(C) Keep the children and tell Bonnie to move out.
(D) Walk away and never look back.
(E) Give up his photography business, get a 9 to 5 job, hire a maid to clean and a nanny to care for the children. Maybe then they could make the marriage work. But, is it worth saving?
He realizes now that marrying Bonnie was the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life, but what's to be done now? Your thoughts, please? What advice would you give poor William?
(I should have taken a screenshot, but I managed to get the house relatively clean before I exited. You wouldn't have believed what a mess it was.)
The three children are doing well, and the atmosphere around the house is so much more pleasant. William has been sad, but at Mrs. Hemphill's urging he's kept busy with physical fitness activities and by sharing his feelings through an online blog.
The surprising thing was that Bonnie showed up at the door only hours later. She hugged the children, and she and William even shared a sad embrace. She realizes that she can't care for the children, but she obviously still wants to be a part of their lives. She and William and Mrs. Hemphill sat down together and had a quiet, civil conversation.
On behalf of William and Bonnie, I'd like to thank everyone who offered advice on this very unhappy situation.
HERE'S HOW IT BEGAN:
William Sorensen is a miserable sim. He's never been too happy, really. He was part of a highly-dysfunctional family I created in CAS many rotations ago. I created a man who hates children, called him a widower, and left him with 7 children to raise, many of them with mean or evil traits. He had only his small salary from the business world, and needless to say, it was a struggle. But, it was interesting, and it's been even more interesting to see how their upbringing (or lack thereof) has affected the six remaining children (one died as a teen).
For William, he decided early on that he didn't want to get married and have a family. He's a loner, but even loners get lonely on occasion, and (with a little prodding from me) he finally -- at the age of 30 -- settled into a relationship with Bonnie. He was hesitant about it, but as she began spending more time at his place, he decided it would be all right if she moved in. There were no plans for marriage or children. Bonnie doesn't even like children.
Well, William soon realized that living with Bonnie wasn't what he wanted. He was on the verge of telling her it was over and that she needed to move out when Bonnie made an announcement of her own. She was pregnant. Now, my family play is a bit conservative and old-fashioned. While I may occasionally have sims living together like Bonnie and William, I generally steer them toward marriage whenever possible, especially if the stork is about to visit. So, William dutifully married Bonnie, feeling all along like it was a big mistake.
After Heaven arrived (where the game came up with that name, I have no idea) Bonnie proved to be totally unfit as a mother. BTW, she was working as a DJ. William does freelance photography. The house was a wreck, Bonnie paid little attention to the baby, and William grew unhappier by the moment. For a while, Bonnie did try to be a good wife and mother, but she just doesn't have those loving, maternal instincts.
So, William knew he had to put an end to the marriage. But, guess what. Before he could talk to Bonnie, she announced that once again she was pregnant. And this time, she had twins.
The family has been struggling along. They have 800 simoleons to their name, three toddlers now, and it's an awful mess! The children are filthy, always near starving, always exhausted, always with their "need attention" bars in the red. The potty chairs aren't emptied, dirty dishes aren't picked up, there's food on the floor, and messes everywhere. William tries, but he can't keep up with the mess, and he's got no time to work. Bonnie doesn't seem to care about him or the children.
FWIW, yes, their love bars are still nearly full, so there's still a physical attraction there, but William really can't take this any longer. (Neither can I.)
So, he's exploring options:
(A) Stay together, tough it out, and be miserable.
(B) Tell Bonnie to take the children and go.
(C) Keep the children and tell Bonnie to move out.
(D) Walk away and never look back.
(E) Give up his photography business, get a 9 to 5 job, hire a maid to clean and a nanny to care for the children. Maybe then they could make the marriage work. But, is it worth saving?
He realizes now that marrying Bonnie was the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life, but what's to be done now? Your thoughts, please? What advice would you give poor William?
(I should have taken a screenshot, but I managed to get the house relatively clean before I exited. You wouldn't have believed what a mess it was.)
Post edited by NoWayJose527 on
2
Comments
For your sim though I think walking away and never looking back would be the best thing for him (Just for him, like, not the best for the kids or Bonnie).
Story wise, it has a lot of potential. Like the kids could grow up even more dysfunctional than him and come looking for him when they're older... You could play them rotationally a bit to see what they get up to.
I hadn't considered letting Social Services take the children. I might have to step in and play the role of social worker so that I could adopt these little darlings out to another family. I hate the way this game simply "whisks away" neglected children. I had that happen once to a child who wasn't even being neglected. I was very fortunate to get her back -- sometimes one glitch cancels out another, I guess.
I will definitely start looking at families in Household Management to see who might want to take the children. Or maybe one of William's many brothers and sisters would step in. That's another option I hadn't considered.
Thanks for the response!
Yes, there is a lot of story potential there. Following this very dysfunctional family has been one of the most interesting things I've done in Sims 4. Recently the widowed father (who had remarried and is now separated from his second wife) had a change of heart and is realizing that he really enjoys being with his grandchildren. (One son, daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren are now living with him since they had fallen on very hard times.) Charles, the patriarch, has even been going around to his other grown-up children now to make amends with them. (I've removed his "hates children" trait with cas.fulleditmode). He's not suited to take on the responsibility of William's three children, though. That would be far too much for him.
I definitely want to keep these children in the game so I can watch them grow up and, yes, see how dysfunctional they become. It's really difficult to decide how I want to approach it. As @starfree suggested, maybe having Social Services step in (me, not the in-game social worker) and place the children in a foster home or with adoptive parents might be the best thing.
That idea has a lot of appeal to me. I know William loves his children, and maybe if he gets Bonnie out of his life he can hire a nanny and raise the kids himself.
I know I'll actually be lying awake tonight wondering what to do. Sometimes I think I take my sims too seriously, you know.
I would lean toward C or D in order to try to fix a difficult situation, perhaps. Maybe if he keeps the kids but left Bonnie, it would parallel his father's situation in a small way, which could be interesting.
One thing I did when a family had a lot of kids but I personally couldn't take it, was have my sim become a sort of absent father. Under the pretense of work, I had him leave for long stretches of time. Off to granite falls or Selvadorada alone for research purposes, and so forth. He'd make an appearance with the family every few sim years, act as if he'd never left. Stay for a while, be great, and then leave when the pressure became too much again. The downside is that this option doesn't give you as much control over what happens with the children since you have potentially less time home to shape them.
Of course, with little money to his name, this could be difficult to pay for, anyway. Unless you're into the idea of him selfishly tapping out the family's finances to go out on his own.
I am going to look at families in household management and see what arrangements I can come up with. I do want to keep all three children in the game, but William definitely needs help. I am thinking...oh, I have an idea! I have one young woman who has worked as a caretaker, usually for elders. Her last job ended recently. I think she would be perfect as a full-time live-in caretaker. She has had experience with children, having helped with her sister's first child.
I think that might be a good thing...moving Bonnie out and Brittany in. Good story potential too. 😃
I could send him on a photo journalist assignment to Selvadorada or maybe Sulani, but Bonnie can't keep the kids. The game's social worker would whisk them right away. If I did split up the family I would have to play one of the other since I don't have a place for both in my rotation schedule.
Decisions, decisions. I am going to sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow.
Another good idea! I'm still weighing options for him. It's tough to decide sometimes when I get too attached to my families.
Good point! It gives me more to ponder as I lie awake tonight wondering what to do
If he has feeling for the kids C and hire a nanny or move in one of his siblings that doesn't hate children and aren't slobby.
So.. are you looking for the happiest situation for your characters, or an interesting story?
Whatever happens to these characters can become part of an interesting story. I play a highly-realistic game style, so what I'm looking for is honest advice. If you knew William and he asked for your advice, what would you suggest to him?
Then he married a new lady who’s a bad caregiver and he wants to leave her but she is pregnant with his twins (or had them, w/e..)
So now there are 2 crummy parents with 6 kids...
I think at this point the adults stay together out of necessity. Maybe they are dysfunctional, maybe mom seeks the company of other sims while dad develops a habit for the juice while the eldest child sims take over the provider and caregiver roles.
Not quite... William's father was the widower left with 7 children to raise. William was one of those 7 children. It's William who is now miserable in a marriage that he knew from the start was a mistake. William and Bonnie have 3 children, and I think I've decided that Bonnie has to go. Once she's out of his life, I think William can make a new start, and with a little help from a nanny or other care-taker, I think he can raise the kids.
It is a bit of a replay of the circumstances he grew up in, and I think he'll be determined to provide a better and more stable life for his children than the life his father gave him.