Comments

• Movotti Posts: 7,774 Member

  December 2018

  Deal with?
  Well...
  They just have to deal with not having me around. Not gonna waste my time on people who aren't worth the effort.
  

  

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• JoAnne65 Posts: 22,959 Member

  December 2018 edited December 2018

  First I’d try to discuss it, tell this person how you feel and how you regret this kind of treatment. Lay it out in the open and see what happens. Friends becoming frenemies usually herald a new stage in some (some!) friendships where one party starts to take the friendship for granted, which for some people apparently means they think they can start treating you like garbage. It’s toxic and it’s undermining your dignity and though it’s tempting to try and deal with it to save this friendship, I fear the only solution is to step out of it. Because a friend should really always be just that: a friend.
  
  When you do there are two options: the other person gets alarmed and adjusts their behaviour (back to real friendship) or the other person joins the decision to take distance. That can be tough and sad, but also a sign the friendship indeed is over and you’re both better off continuing life without each other’s company. Losing a friendship can be heartbreaking, but always try to figure out what it is you regret and miss. The situation it was in when you decided to turn away or the friendship the way it was in the beginning when the frenemy was still a real friend. Because that last situation isn’t there anymore anyway, for some reason. It’s much more fruitful to focus on people who respect you. Not least because you simply deserve that, everybody does.

  

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• PastelMermaid Posts: 1,298 Member

  December 2018

  I've recently been through something like this - my friend turned and I spent a lot of time appeasing her and her needs and it was sucking all the energy out of me.. but I didn't straight up say this and an argument blew up from something that could have been a conversation (who knows, it might have gone a lot differently) but because of the fall out and everything that was said or not said... it made it easier for me to walk away and never look back - I've since had a weekend away and it's been a month since me and the friend in question spoke - I've never felt better, I haven't missed her and the drama she came with.
  
  My advice: don't let it escalate because what happens next can most likely be solved a better way

  
  
  "wahoo" - aquaman

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• MrSpaceman Posts: 382 Member

  December 2018

  @Sassycotton
  
  Hey. It's called "toxic relationship". The truth about it is that you have to cut off every person who was toxic to you even if it hurts you, because THEY hurt you more. I've been there too, I had a girlfriend and I loved her for so long. Never, not even in my worst nightmare I couldn't imagine myself giving up on her. I always thought things were going to get better with time and I just needed to try my best to fix everything. I would do any kinds of support and care, I would buy her gifts. She used to forget when my birthday was and was really mean to me. When we did break up, it hurt, but now I realize that I'm much happier now and my mental health is in a better condition.

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