I just read the whole thing in one go. I liked how you showed different chapters from the perspective of different characters, that gave it a lot more depth. I also liked that sometimes there was no need for words and you just captured a feeling in pictures. I'm very fond of mental illness stories, it's a topic that's often used for hilarity in stories rather than showing the impact something like this can have on a whole family. You handled that very delicately and realistically, kudos. All in all, it felt like everything that happened in the story made sense. That is something I often struggle with, you know, like spares moving out because, well, they're spares - that's not how the world works. You managed to give each of them their own story and reason to do what they did and to give the reader some form of closure. Thank you for the story so far, I'm looking forward to reading more of it!
I just read the whole thing in one go. I liked how you showed different chapters from the perspective of different characters, that gave it a lot more depth. I also liked that sometimes there was no need for words and you just captured a feeling in pictures. I'm very fond of mental illness stories, it's a topic that's often used for hilarity in stories rather than showing the impact something like this can have on a whole family. You handled that very delicately and realistically, kudos. All in all, it felt like everything that happened in the story made sense. That is something I often struggle with, you know, like spares moving out because, well, they're spares - that's not how the world works. You managed to give each of them their own story and reason to do what they did and to give the reader some form of closure. Thank you for the story so far, I'm looking forward to reading more of it!
@Aricie Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this so far - I really appreciate your comments.
As far as mental illness - it's definitely something that has touched my family in different forms, and while I wasn't initially planning on including this when I first sat down, it made the story a lot more interesting that it may have been otherwise (compare the first few chapters to later ones) and it really helped drive forward some of the story (especially in terms of the spares moving out).
There's a lot more story left, and Harvey is a lot of fun to write for (I've had to combine several chapters already, and I'm not anywhere close to being finished writing his story yet). Thanks again for reading!
The big difference between SimLit and conventional storytelling to me is that the characters do have a personality of their own. Sure you can ignore it for the sake of the story but it does often influence how we feel about them and what we want them to experience. Starting a new save is supposed to be like a blank page to write on but then we start to like or dislike our Sims and sometimes we come to realise that the story we envisioned for them isn't going to work. Another big difference is that SimLit is written continuously while playing (if you don't use your Sims as mere static props to pose for photos). So it's way harder to know where the story is going, to create some sort of arc from start to finish. I saw the first few chapters as you getting to know your Sim and getting a "feel" for the story. I could actually feel you getting into the story and into your characters more and more with every chapter. So I wouldn't think of the beginning as a "less than" but more of a "leading to"
@Aricie You know, I quite like that description and will probably use it now. And you're right, it's amazing at how some of their actions totally change what I've planned on doing. It makes it fun, though, and does inject that little bit of randomness into the process that makes planning out the actual story an exercise in what happens next.
You asked for feedback so here I am. I think I've commented on most chapters but I wanted to at least praise you for how you wrapped up the overall story of Kingston and Snapdragon before his passing. It really felt like a finale and even though he had regrets he could see and appreciate what the future held.
I had really hoped he would find out the truth about Daisy, but in hindsight it might have been more painful to know she chose not to return? I have to say, I really do love that you DON'T do what the reader would often want to see. You tell a great story and offer realistic and heartwarming closure. I really adore stories that don't bend to wish fulfillment.
@Karilan Thanks for your comments (both here and on WP)!
I was hoping that Kingston would survive for a few more days, because I really wanted him to be able to meet Harvey, just so it could be one of those full circle type things... but it didn't work out.
As for Daisy - like I mentioned before, she's pretty much done with the story, though there will, of course, be people who end up talking about her, especially with the family. I briefly considered having people learn the truth, but like you said - what's the point? It would only cause more pain. Daisy is, essentially, dead (She's Marguerite now!), and will most likely never return. It's sad, unfortunately, but Draco was really the only one who hadn't made peace with her "death" - and he was the one who really needed closure so that he could move on (the whole he had to leave so that he could come back as one person deal).
@Aricie We don't know what's going on with her! Why do people always assume the worst? For all we know, she could have been dancing the rumba topless while swinging a cat by the tail.
@Karilan How is it too soon? People turn 30 all the time (I found it helpful to go through thirty therapy, and also to throw myself out of an airplane)
@Karilan How is it too soon? People turn 30 all the time (I found it helpful to go through thirty therapy, and also to throw myself out of an airplane)
You said old! Do you consider 30 old? To be fair I have not read the chapter yet haha, but I am SO not ready to see Draco old yet...even if I'm excited for the new generation. It's a tough balance of emotions when it comes to legacies!
@Karilan How is it too soon? People turn 30 all the time (I found it helpful to go through thirty therapy, and also to throw myself out of an airplane)
You said old! Do you consider 30 old? To be fair I have not read the chapter yet haha, but I am SO not ready to see Draco old yet...even if I'm excited for the new generation. It's a tough balance of emotions when it comes to legacies!
And no, I definitely don't consider 30 old - I just said that Draco and Chelsey (especially Chelsey, because it's her birthday and she's older than Draco). Draco's not old yet! He's still a young adult (and so is Chelsey!) - so there's plenty of time to get used to the transition - they don't end up growing up into adults until Harvey is a child (as far as Rose is concerned, I believe that she's already an adult, but I could be wrong - I wrote these chapters a few months ago, back in October or November.
@Aricie Yeah, unfortunately it happened... The next few chapters are all about dealing with the aftermath, kind of switching the point of view back and forth between Harvey and the adults.
@Aricie I'm pretty sure that she'd just say that she knows what's best for everybody, and that she knows everybody's real motivations... she's opinionated!
@Aricie I don't know that I'd call Kamilla a brat, per se, but I can understand why your mind would go there. Keep in mind, she's never met her grandmother, and so for her it's less sad than it is for Harvey, because she's just on a weird vacation with family that she's never met.
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@Aricie Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this so far - I really appreciate your comments.
As far as mental illness - it's definitely something that has touched my family in different forms, and while I wasn't initially planning on including this when I first sat down, it made the story a lot more interesting that it may have been otherwise (compare the first few chapters to later ones) and it really helped drive forward some of the story (especially in terms of the spares moving out).
There's a lot more story left, and Harvey is a lot of fun to write for (I've had to combine several chapters already, and I'm not anywhere close to being finished writing his story yet). Thanks again for reading!
The big difference between SimLit and conventional storytelling to me is that the characters do have a personality of their own. Sure you can ignore it for the sake of the story but it does often influence how we feel about them and what we want them to experience. Starting a new save is supposed to be like a blank page to write on but then we start to like or dislike our Sims and sometimes we come to realise that the story we envisioned for them isn't going to work. Another big difference is that SimLit is written continuously while playing (if you don't use your Sims as mere static props to pose for photos). So it's way harder to know where the story is going, to create some sort of arc from start to finish. I saw the first few chapters as you getting to know your Sim and getting a "feel" for the story. I could actually feel you getting into the story and into your characters more and more with every chapter. So I wouldn't think of the beginning as a "less than" but more of a "leading to"
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You asked for feedback so here I am. I think I've commented on most chapters but I wanted to at least praise you for how you wrapped up the overall story of Kingston and Snapdragon before his passing. It really felt like a finale and even though he had regrets he could see and appreciate what the future held.
I had really hoped he would find out the truth about Daisy, but in hindsight it might have been more painful to know she chose not to return? I have to say, I really do love that you DON'T do what the reader would often want to see. You tell a great story and offer realistic and heartwarming closure. I really adore stories that don't bend to wish fulfillment.
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
I was hoping that Kingston would survive for a few more days, because I really wanted him to be able to meet Harvey, just so it could be one of those full circle type things... but it didn't work out.
As for Daisy - like I mentioned before, she's pretty much done with the story, though there will, of course, be people who end up talking about her, especially with the family. I briefly considered having people learn the truth, but like you said - what's the point? It would only cause more pain. Daisy is, essentially, dead (She's Marguerite now!), and will most likely never return. It's sad, unfortunately, but Draco was really the only one who hadn't made peace with her "death" - and he was the one who really needed closure so that he could move on (the whole he had to leave so that he could come back as one person deal).
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Too soon. Tooooooo sooooooon!
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
Just saying.
Daisy. Daisy is why I assume the worst.
You said old! Do you consider 30 old? To be fair I have not read the chapter yet haha, but I am SO not ready to see Draco old yet...even if I'm excited for the new generation. It's a tough balance of emotions when it comes to legacies!
My hubby causes chaos in How To Live With Grace - - Pine Point tells Miranda Cole's survival tale - - Criminals build legacies in Glassbolt Prison
@Karilan
Hahaha, and Daisy turned out okay-ish!
And no, I definitely don't consider 30 old - I just said that Draco and Chelsey (especially Chelsey, because it's her birthday and she's older than Draco). Draco's not old yet! He's still a young adult (and so is Chelsey!) - so there's plenty of time to get used to the transition - they don't end up growing up into adults until Harvey is a child (as far as Rose is concerned, I believe that she's already an adult, but I could be wrong - I wrote these chapters a few months ago, back in October or November.
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I loved the plot with Daisy so much! That was exciting to read, but all the deaths now are so sad. </3
I agree - I was super depressed at the deaths (especially Kingston's!)
I'm glad you enjoyed the Daisy plot - that was one where I wasn't sure how it would go, so I'm glad it worked out and you enjoyed it.
Happy reading!
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But yeah, mean too. That works.
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