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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,748 Member
    I want to add something to my above post-because I never been in any kind of a BF/GF relationship-I never experienced any kind of abuse but I have heard of other women's abusive partners so that's how come I'm able to write the chapters for Gen 3.
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  • MedleyMistyMedleyMisty Posts: 1,188 Member
    @DreamsInPixels *many hugs*
    Sometimes the darkness and I tell stories.
  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    @Thymeless : Oh, you should've seen my Sims Pride announcement posts where I had to use asterisks to explains all the LGBTQQIAAPP terms, because this forum pluminates them all! Apparently despite allowing the Sims in the game to make their own gender and orientation choices and even making TS4 have gender-fluid clothing options now, they are not so LGBT+ forward on these forums... >_>
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  • InfraGreenInfraGreen Posts: 6,693 Member
    @mastressalita: And it's only for orientations with the -sexual suffix. While I can say "sexual" as much as I want without censoring.
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  • MedleyMistyMedleyMisty Posts: 1,188 Member
    @Thymeless : Oh, you should've seen my Sims Pride announcement posts where I had to use asterisks to explains all the LGBTQQIAAPP terms, because this forum pluminates them all! Apparently despite allowing the Sims in the game to make their own gender and orientation choices and even making TS4 have gender-fluid clothing options now, they are not so LGBT+ forward on these forums... >_>

    Stuff about WWII history is also plummed, including the word f.ascism. I think it's less about their position on those issues and more about attempting to prevent trolling by plumming the sorts of words that trolls like to use to do their trolling. Of course I could be wrong on that, but yeah, like you said it's inconsistent with the game.
    Sometimes the darkness and I tell stories.
  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    Hey there Kindness Bench!

    I've been under some high stress lately, and my daily chronic migraine has been as furious as ever. I find it is so hard to really get people to understand just how much time having a chronic pain condition takes away from things like playing Sims, writing, and getting reading in. I feel like some people think I'm ignoring them just because I haven't fit their story into my reading cycles yet, or I'm letting folks down by my slow update schedule... but the truth of the matter is, I'm doing as much as I can given the amount of spoons I've got (the majority of which go towards the fulltime job... no FT job, no health insurance to fight the pain-beast, so...) I find anymore I feel like I'm an ouraboros... it's very frustrating.

    Crazy as it is, I find it very soothing to color. I realize that's just taking away yet more time that could be dedicated to something else, but I kinda like to just take out colored pencils and a nice coloring book and work away while I listen to a podcast or a Sim LP in the background. Does anyone else have tried and true "wind down" techniques? (Or recommendations of some great coloring books... I'm looking to expand, heh!)
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  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 7,035 Member
    *hugs* to @DreamsinPixels and @Thymeless, thank you for your courage and for sharing.
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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,748 Member
    Hey there Kindness Bench!

    I've been under some high stress lately, and my daily chronic migraine has been as furious as ever. I find it is so hard to really get people to understand just how much time having a chronic pain condition takes away from things like playing Sims, writing, and getting reading in. I feel like some people think I'm ignoring them just because I haven't fit their story into my reading cycles yet, or I'm letting folks down by my slow update schedule... but the truth of the matter is, I'm doing as much as I can given the amount of spoons I've got (the majority of which go towards the fulltime job... no FT job, no health insurance to fight the pain-beast, so...) I find anymore I feel like I'm an ouraboros... it's very frustrating.

    Crazy as it is, I find it very soothing to color. I realize that's just taking away yet more time that could be dedicated to something else, but I kinda like to just take out colored pencils and a nice coloring book and work away while I listen to a podcast or a Sim LP in the background. Does anyone else have tried and true "wind down" techniques? (Or recommendations of some great coloring books... I'm looking to expand, heh!)

    *hugs Mastressalita* I understand what you mean by spoons since I heard that term used once on a video with a disabled person. Sure I might have more spoons than you but on a day like today-I had issues with doing the gym instead of using 2 spoons today I was using 4 spoons.
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  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 23,088 Member
    Hey there Kindness Bench!

    I've been under some high stress lately, and my daily chronic migraine has been as furious as ever. I find it is so hard to really get people to understand just how much time having a chronic pain condition takes away from things like playing Sims, writing, and getting reading in. I feel like some people think I'm ignoring them just because I haven't fit their story into my reading cycles yet, or I'm letting folks down by my slow update schedule... but the truth of the matter is, I'm doing as much as I can given the amount of spoons I've got (the majority of which go towards the fulltime job... no FT job, no health insurance to fight the pain-beast, so...) I find anymore I feel like I'm an ouraboros... it's very frustrating.

    Crazy as it is, I find it very soothing to color. I realize that's just taking away yet more time that could be dedicated to something else, but I kinda like to just take out colored pencils and a nice coloring book and work away while I listen to a podcast or a Sim LP in the background. Does anyone else have tried and true "wind down" techniques? (Or recommendations of some great coloring books... I'm looking to expand, heh!)

    Hi, @mastressalita ! Big hugs to you.

    Do you know that you're one of my heroes?

    (Oh... that's a line from a song, isn't it? Doh! It's true, though!)

    I am always amazed at how much you get done--I don't know anyone who does more or gives more here at the Sims community of writers than you do. And it seems so selfless. I'm guessing that you get joy from it, for I never hear you complain or grumble and you seem (from my outside perspective) to have boundless energy for what you do.

    I also know and keep myself aware that you have chronic migraine. So, I like to imagine you sitting quietly in dark rooms, resting and finding comfort.

    Coloring is wonderful! What a great activity. And when an activity soothes us, helps us to keep the stress down, and brings us comfort, it's not "taking away" from anything... it's GIVING TO us so that we have more full reserves. :)<3

    My favorite rejuvenations are time in the garden--just sitting, not even "gardening"--walks (when it's not 105), and playing the cello. Sometimes (like right now when I'm trying to learn a few pieces that feel too hard to me) playing cello feels like oh! Work! So hard... but I always feel relaxed afterwards (even if I feel like I've lifted weights), and even just playing open strings helps me to relax and chill as those vibrations course through my body.

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  • RipuAncestorRipuAncestor Posts: 2,332 Member
    edited July 2016
    @mastressalita Hugs to you! I don't have a chronic migraine, but I do experience migraines and they can sometimes get pretty bad so I know at least a little how awful it is. I can only imagine how it's like to have them daily, though. :( All the strength for you, and I really don't think you need to worry about not giving us the time. I think you're already doing so much here on the forums and on the blogs and all, so there's definitely no need to feel guilty. I think it's perfectly okay to give yourself time and relax.
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  • TwiggyTwiggy Posts: 995 Member
    I absolutely agree with both Cathy and Ripu, @mastressalita ~big hugs~ You are putting in so much effort regardless of your daily struggle with migraines, if you ask me. I praise you for the time you give to the simlit community, readers and writers alike! But above all I want you to know that I appreciate you just the way you are. You do not ever have to feature or update anything to be of value <3
  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 7,035 Member
    @mastressalita I echo @CathyTea. You rock! All the work and dedication you put into the SimLit community is amazing and totally appreciated. It's sad to hear you suffer from chronic migraines. I used to, and now I only get a migraine on rare occasion, but I do understand the pain and discomfort they cause.

    I also love coloring too and find it to be very soothing. There's something about the childlike joy and pleasure I derive from it that helps me center myself. I really should color more often. I don't think of myself as an artist in one iota (okay short of writing) because I have a tendency to create crappy drawings, but I do like to use crayons and colored pencils and shade in other people's creations (i.e. coloring books). I am thrilled with the wild assortment of adult coloring books out there now. Whoever came up with that idea is pure genius.

    I also find listening to the rain to be very soothing. Right now we're experiencing yet another Colorado afternoon thunderstorm. Sometimes I like to sit and close my eyes and just listen to the rain drops and the thunder. Water, for me, is very rejuvenating and peaceful.

    I enjoy walks in nature also and frankly, with my busy life, I don't get to often enough, but it is something that brings me peace and joy. I read somewhere once that being in nature helps reset our internal balance. Trees, open sky, fields of flowers, the ocean, and mountaintop views are some of the most peaceful images for me.

    I hope you find healing, peace, and rest.
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  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    @CathyTea , @RipuAncestor , @Twiggy , @AdamsEve1231

    Thank you so much for your kind words. Today was a high pain day but I had to push through my full eight hour work day before I could come home to my dark mancave (oh how right you are about that CT; I have all the windows of my apartment covered in heavy blinds or black garbage bags to keep out the sun! I bet the other tenants think a vampire is living in here!) and it is a solace to know there are folks that understand (returns hugs to my fellow migraineurs, even if they are sporadic rather than chronic; no migraine is a good migraine!)

    I find it interesting that so many people have mentioned spending time in nature as a means to unwind. I usually stay indoors when I have the choice because of the bright sunlight (chronic migraine = chronic photophobia), but it made me realize a hobby I used to be very into that I've kinda gotten out of in the last several years... which was astronomy! I really should start going out after dark and laying down with my fuzzy blanket and just watching the sky again. I remember how peaceful that was.

    And I am exactly on the same page with you about finding water soothing, @AdamsEve1231 ! The area I live in is a desert (dry summers, snowy winters, right along the Snake River Canyon in southern Idaho) so we don't get a lot of rain, but I adore the sound of it. I often will play the website RainyMood in a tab on my browser while I write or color, because I find the sound of the rainstorm so relaxing! Especially paired with a nice cuppa.

    And I think I found the perfect new coloring book for my interests. ^_^;; I bet @ra3rei would like it too!
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  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    @MadameLee : Ah, you know the spoon theory! It was originally written up here as a story about a woman with Lupus trying to fully teach her friend what it was like, and it went viral. Now lots of people use the analogy. It's a great story.
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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,748 Member
    @MadameLee : Ah, you know the spoon theory! It was originally written up here as a story about a woman with Lupus trying to fully teach her friend what it was like, and it went viral. Now lots of people use the analogy. It's a great story.

    I explained how I learned about it in some months ago in a PM. Most of the time I have never-ending spoons-like 'able' people but on days (like I'm dizzy or like today I was really tired) when I was done at the gym and I didn't have the energy or felt it was too dangerous to try to walk home being tired/dizzy so I call dad- in a sense dad is one of my 'spoons' -ok for the last couple of weeks he's technically been two or three of my spoons because of how I been getting in/out of our new pool with his help since we didn't have a ladder yet. But mom was my two spoons 'today' since she had to help me get in/out of the pool and serve up the salad I made for supper.
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  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,084 Member
    Hi everyone,

    I'm just catching up, as I'm behinnd in the forums. Thursday, I was supposed to sing our National Athem at a minor league baseball game, but we got rained out. :( You can't fight the weather. Anyway, we came back and I started to get caught up on the reading I was supposed to be doing in order to contribute to a discussion for one of the reading circles I'm in. Unfortunately, between then and Friday morning, I hurt my back and am still in a good deal of discomfort. Yesterday, I spent much of the day dong my "assignment" for the circle's discussion and trying to deal with the back pain.

    *Big Hugs* to all those woh submitted answers to @CathyTea's writing questions. There was a lot of personal, heartfelt sharing and I appreciated getting to know you a better and sympathize with the struggles you're facing or have faced.

    @AdamsEve1231 - I heartily apologize that it took me so long to respond to such a wonderful reply to my answer. I agree with everything you said and really loved what you had to say. Sometimes I feel like I talk out of my head at times, but it's nice to know that I contributed something that so many enjoyed reading. :)

    You made my day when you talked about my courage to explore and put into writing a very painful part of my life. Thank you for saying that. *hugs* You made my day there. It didn't work out in my favor in the way I initially wanted, but we dealt and came up with another solution. To write about it is therapeutic (even if I have to tap into the real pain I felt) and it's nice that maybe it gives hope to others that are facing the same things. I tend to beat up on my characters a lot and sometimes it works out for them and sometimes it doesn't.

    At this stage in my life, I have to laugh at myself. :) I mean, it was so bad that I cried over the darndest things like a Pampers commercial. LMAO! Yep, I'd see all those baby commercials on TV and lost it more than once. :( To top it off, EVERYONE around me (seemingly) was pregnant. It sure didn't help that I had to stare it right in the face. The straw that broke the camel's back was when my sister got pregnant. I was more depressed than I'd been in a long time, and I wanted to jump off a bridge. When I was going through one of my bouts of depression, the song "Having My Baby" by Paul Anka came on the radio. Ugh! Not great timing. LOL! To this day, I HATE that song. LOL!

    Yeah, I chuckle about it now, as this was over 20 years ago. At the time though, the pain of it was very real and I still remember how it felt. At this tage in my life, I'll gladly play with the babies and then send them home to Mom and Dad later. Hehe. The daughter is 22 now so I'm WAY past wanting to start over at the diaper stage. I like my quiet life the way it is now. :grin:

    So, even though you evolve and the focus changes, you still remember the pain and sorrow of it. Even though I'm way past that stage, every now and again, I'll still feel a pang at never being able to experience something that most women take for granted. Life's bumps and bruises can leave some very deep scars, no lie about that.

    @mastressalita - So sorry to hear about your recent trials. I don't have the chronic migraines you have but I get nasty headaches (siinus and tension) so I can kinda feel your pain. I agree with @CathyTea. You do so much for all of us. I can't even imagine the amount of work that goes into it, but you seem to always do it with a smile and cheeful attitude.

    Nothing wrong with coloring. :) I have quite a collection of the adult coloring books and love to get out my Polychromos and go at it. I'll do this while listening to an audiobook. It's very soothing, and what they say is true. It lets off stress.

    I also find knitting and crocheting to be very soothing. The repetitive nature of making the stitches puts me in a zen-like state and I love just shutting my mind off and letting my hands do the work. Plus, I get a beautiful project out of it. afghans are my favorite to make with crocheting and I tend to do a number of scarves when knitting. :) I tend to do this more in the colder months since the yarn I use gets pretty heavy. It's unbearable to have an Afghan spread over your lap during the summer months as you work on it. This, combined with an audiobook or a movie - there's nothing like it in all the world. :)
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  • moonswirlsmoonswirls Posts: 2,350 Member
    I... have a story of sorts to tell.
    When I was young I was mentally abused by my step-father to the point where the damaging behavior became routine, normal infact.
    I thought I was shot of this when he left, but.. by my recent discoveries.. a lot of my mothers behavior..
    well.. all of my mothers behavior.. is carefully calculated, precise and ill thought out ways to keep me under her control.
    It's hard to find out that you've been being abused without your knowledge, even if it is only mentally. I'm scared of the ways she could have affected me for my future.

    Sorry this is heavy, but I needed to let it out. To people I trust.
  • MikiMiki Posts: 1,692 Member
    edited July 2016
    @BabyDollAnne Mental abuse is every bit as damaging as physical and neither are something you should feel you need to hold on to.

    Nothing is too heavy, unless it's internalized. Then they, the abusers, "get" you a second time, a third time, --and on it goes.
  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,084 Member
    @BabyDollAnne - *big, big hugs* Mental abuse is still abuse and it's very real. I'm so sorry you went through it and wish you weren't suffering the effects now. As I said in a recent post, life can give you deep-seated scars that are tough to overlook.

    I agree with @Miki. As long as it's internalized and if it rules your life, the abuser will always get their 🐸🐸🐸🐸 in and win.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. It took a lot of courage to do.
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  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 23,088 Member
    @BabyDollAnne *hugs to you*

    A lot of types of domestic abuse go undetected: the behavior comes to seem "normal" or accepted, especially when it happens every day.

    Earlier this year, our town had a "Wear Purple to Raise Awareness of Domestic Abuse" day. Because I needed to post information about this on the website that I manage, I looked into the organization sponsoring the day--Emerge, http://www.emergecenter.org/

    As I read through the website, the stories amazed me--the women described types of behaviors that, when I was growing up, women of my mom's generation just accepted as "how it is" (no wonder that generation experienced so much addiction to prescription medication!). Looking through this website, I found it inspiring to see the damaging behaviors identified and then to read the stories of the journeys to freedom from abuse.

    You might be able to find a center in your town that can offer help. One place to start is here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/domestic-abuse

    And a 24-hour line you can call is http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

    (The first link is a resource in my town--the second two links are for resources in the UK.)
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  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 7,035 Member
    edited July 2016
    @BabyDollAnne *hugs* Mental abuse is still abuse like everyone has already said, but I know acknowledging it, while helpful, doesn't take away the pain.
    I was mentally abused by an ex of mine and I remember it sucked because I always thought that it was somehow my fault. It's taken a lot of years, counseling, prayer, and a patient husband to help me through the pain, worry, and self-doubt. I still catch myself on occasion second guessing myself and feeling anxious about certain circumstances brought on by certain triggers and the momentary weight of the past trauma is brutal. This is that internalization thing that others have been talking about, and it can be crippling at times, even still for me.

    I think the important thing to remember is it's not my fault, just like it's not your fault. It's the abuser's fault. Once I removed the blame from myself, the shame was lifted also, and although the pain still remains and jabs at me from time to time, I've found healing, though the scars will always be there I think.

    I plan to delve into this subject a bit in my Sims story actually as part of a way to raise awareness but also because it's therapeutic for me, at this stage, to talk about it. I don't know where you're at in your journey through this, but I hope and pray you can find a therapeutic and healthy outlet to move through the pain and trauma and I wish you peace, recovery, and healing.

    EDIT: I have no idea why the forums took s.u.c.k.e.d. and changed it to plum.

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  • MadameLeeMadameLee Posts: 32,748 Member
    @BabyDollAnne *hugs* like everyone says mental abuse is still is abuse. I haven't experienced any myself but I know people who have.
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  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    @sweetnightingale : Ooo, I would love to get either some polychromos or prismacolors some day! For now I've just gone for a cheaper, but large (120!) set because my current set is not giving me enough color options.

    I actually did take a beginning knitting class (my supervisor at the library was holding it for Summer Reading, heh) because I've always been curious about it. I did okay when it was just "casting on" with the one needle, but the second the other needle was thrown in, I got way too tripped up and confused (Derpy Hooves is derpy -_-;; ) A lot of people have sense told me I really should try out starting with crocheting instead, so I'll have to look into that sometime. (And a lot of our audiobook patrons at work are knitters and quilters! I personally have a hard time listening to audiobooks, unless they are non-fiction... I am very particular about "hearing" my own voices for the characters in my head and imagining everything like a movie playing out in my head as the words come across the page into my head. I've been that way my whole life... was always told I had an "over-active imagination" that would ago away one day... luckily they were all wrong. ^_~ But I have found I like listening to podcasts or Let's Plays in the background, hahaha!)

    @BabyDollAnne :
    I know firsthand what mental abuse is like... and the hard part is often the people who do this aren't even aware of it, and if you even try to bring it up/confront it, they would never "see" that it is happening, because their own perception/mentality is so skewed from the reality of what is going on. My mother is severely mentally ill, and primed me to be her protogee from a young age because it made her feel "less alone," and I didn't even realize it until waaaaaay later in my life... notably after my father was crumbling from trying to manage her condition, couldn't anymore, got a divorce, and took custody of me and my sister. It was a very different experience no longer "being around it" and then I suddenly had a clarity as to what had been going on for so many years. I can really emphathize and sympathize with your situation and your courage to share. Trust me, I too, wasn't aware of what was going on for years! It is very common. I hope sincerely you can manage to grow from it and find the healing you need, but like any other wound, mental ones will also leave some scars behind. *big hugs*
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  • moonswirlsmoonswirls Posts: 2,350 Member
    Thank you everyone for your kind words. It's good to hear I'm not alone in my experiences. @mastressalita @AdamsEve1231 @miki @CathyTea @madamelee @sweetnightingale

    You're all so kind, thank you for listening <3
  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,084 Member
    @mastressalita - Oh, I LOVE my Polychromos and my Prismacolors. :) I got the Prismacolors first and got the 150 set. They're buttery soft and easy to blend for some cool shading. They're SO soft, however, that the pigment wears down rather quickly and you have to be REALLY careful with them because the pigment isn't bonded to the wooden casing. In other words, if you drop them, they could split open and out slides the pigment. I think there's a way to heat set them should it happen but it's tricky and the pencil could easily be ruined. I've never tried it before, so I'm just extremely careful with mine. :)

    The Polychromos - LOVE them! They're not as soft as the Prismacolors but they do a great job of blending. These are oil based so you can layer a bit more color on more than you can with a wax based one (like the Prismacolors). The pigment is also bonded to the wooden casing and they're sturdier. You don't have to sharpen as often since the pigment isn't quite as soft as the Prismacolors. I have the 120 set in those. As you can probably tell, I love having a vast array of color choices. :)

    I've been wanting the Derwent Intense pencils. They're a little like watercolor pencils but when you wet these, they turn into a permanent ink. The colors are supposedly very vibrant and bold, which I like. My hubby got me a $50 gift certificate from Amazon, so I used that to put toward the 72 count set and am anxiously awaiting their arrival (supposed to be Tuesday).

    Anyway, if you ever want to invest in a good quality set, either one would be great. My Polychromos have a slight edge in my preference area, but the Prismacolors are wonderful too.

    I learned to crochet before I learned to knit. When I first tried my hand at crocheting, I was in high school and the stepmom tried to teach me. I could never get the hang of it and decided to nix it when I went off to college. I didn't have the time or patience to try again at that point but knew I wanted to try it again at some point. I made the decision in 2001, got myself some yarn and a set of hooks, and I never looked back. It just clicked when I picked it back up. Go figure! Well, I wanted to try knitting a few years later but I really struggled with it for quite a long time. I finally got the hang of it after a LOT of perseverance. Even so, I prefer crocheting and am better at it, but I do enjoy knitting too. In my opinion, crocheting is much easier to learn and you're just messing with one implement rather than two in knitting with a needle in each hand.

    I also got into latch hooking but haven't messed with that in a while. It's fun but you have to watch out for those individual little pieces of yarn. They can get away from you very fast. LOL!

    @BabyDollAnne - You're very welcome. :) I'm glad we all could provide a listening ear and support where we can. Life is tough sometimes.
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