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A Pleasantview Story
Alpal425
Posts: 198 Member
I won't be able to complete my "Let's Build a Neighborhood", I accidentally deleted that neighborhood when I was in the process of resetting Pleasantview. ;( I might as well make the best of Pleasantview, then. Here is MY version of Pleasantview.
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Life in Pleasantview isn't always so pleasant. In fact, the family that the name of the town is based on, is actually with war with itself. But that's not the main worry for Cassandra right now. No, her worry is her fiance, Don Lothario.
Cassandra loves him very much which she considers herself very stupid for. He may or may not love her, but either way, he will never stick only to her. He wants to date everyone in town, even the men sometimes. But she still loves him, and hopes he will grow out of it, but he never seems to. She always gets scolded by him whenever she tries to update her look- he simply wants her to stay like she currently looks like- a schoolgirl.
"I like it," he replied when she tried to bring it up for the millionth time. "It fits you, and you look cute like that. Nobody else is wearing it!"
"You think they cower at me?"
"You truly don't know me then."
"I know you! I am your partner! I love you."
"You always say that," she sighed. "I bet you love every woman in the neighborhood!"
"No I don't.." he replied as he eyed a woman across the street.
"You're impossible!" she yelled.
"I'm not nagging!"
"Yes you are!"
She hates her hair, it hurts to always be in that position and it is outdated. She hates her glasses, she thinks they only look good on her younger sibling, Alexander. Her co-workers look at her strangely whenever she walks into the building. She didn't like being an outcast. Different is good, but being an outcast isn't.
"Why do you do this to me?" she cried. "You make me feel like I don't matter and like you control me. I'm not a slave.." Don didn't reply. He just left wondering how he was going to fix this mess.
MEANWHILE EARLIER..
"Yes, son?"
"Do you like that Dina girl?"
"I'm only dating her so that way you will have a mom, Alexander."
"I don't want her as a mom," he made a disgusted face.
"Well, she is a sweet girl."
"Exactly! She is a girl. You need a lady! I miss mom.."
"I know, Alex. I do too. Darn those aliens."
"Back to Dina. She is only dating you for your money, Dad!"
"Well, if you are to get a new wife, at least make it someone nice and older. I'm pretty sure that Nina girl is in her 20s. Get someone in late 30s or so."
"Are you a match-maker now, Alex?" Mortimer laughed. "You know nobody can replace.. Bella..."
"I know, Dad. You aren't replacing Bella, just finding another soul mate. There's a difference."
"How so?"
"Replacing Bella would be like finding someone who has the same looks, laugh, etc. You just need to find someone you like."
"Alright, alright. I will go look for a new wife. But remember, Bella is still in my heart. I have to keep searching the skies," he said dreamily.
When it started to get dark, the two went inside to play chess.
'Yes, Alex?"
"I think you will find her."
"I know, so do I."
"I hope she will be healthy."
"I can't promise that."
"I know."
They heard a door open and close.
"I think Cassandra is home!" Alexander said excitedly. "I heard her and Don arguing earlier."
"I know. I hope she dumped him this time," Mortimer shook his head. "That man doesn't deserve my little baby," he said sadly.
"Don't you think she will be angry if she finds out you have been up late?" Mortimer laughed.
"You're right!" he wailed. "I will go to bed now. 'Night, dad!"
"Good night, Alex."
BACK TO CASSANDRA
"Oh, Daddy!" she giggled. "I have never felt so me!"
"I bet!" he laughed.
She kisseed him on the cheek and they both went to bed.
Cassandra didn't realize, but all the music had woken up Alex. Alex thought the music was coming from the neighbors.
"Stupid neighbors," he grumbled as he woke up. "Who plays piano at 12am? Is everyone in this darn town crazy except for my family?' he whined. "Might as well make the most of it- taking a relaxing bubble bath with the music should help. I just hope I won't fall asleep in there."
Eventually, Cassandra had started to get hungry, so she decided to make some simple toaster pastries. She never learned how to cook, because her parents had always cooked instead of her. She decided to learn, so she got out a cooking book and started to make some breakfast. But someone decided he was done with his bath, so he came running down the stairs and he saw a woman cooking in the kitchen. A woman who he had mistaken for another person that he had thought he would never see again.
"Mom?" he whispered and tackled the lady in red with a hug.
"Huh?" Cassandra turned around. "Oh, sorry Alex.. It's me, Cassandra.."
"B-But-"
"Sorry, Alex. I'm not Mom," she murmured. "Hey, I made breakfast!" she tried to cheer him up.
"Really?! And you didn't burn the house down?!"
"Oh, shut up and eat your food," she grumbled as they walked out of the kitchen. But Alexander didn't stay happy for long. He looked away from Cassandra when she put down the food.
"You wouldn't understand if I told you."
"Yes, I would."
"No."
"Okay, fine... Dad said I always reminded him of Bella because of my facial features, the way I laughed, etc, etc, etc."
"Just because you look and act like her doesn't mean you are her," he stared.
"I know. Of course I'm not her. I just liked the way she was and it reminded her of me when I was getting a new look."
"But you are trying to be her."
"No, I'm not."
"You will never be her, Cassandra. No matter how hard you try to look like her, you won't succeed. There are always at least some things to set you apart from another person, even if they might be only minor, like twins. An example like, your glasses. Mother never wore glasses."
"Can we please drop this discussion, Mr.Know-it-all?"
"Yea, yea."
Mortimer decided to wake up and come downstairs.
"I woke up early and decided to play the piano," Cassandra chuckled.
"That was you?" Alexander said surprised.
"Yes."
"I thought it was the neighbors!" he laughed.
"Anyways, I decided to break up with Dina- today," Mortimer said with a straight face to his kids.
"Who?" Cassandra asked. "You're dating someone?"
"Yes, didn't you know?" Mortimer exclaimed.
"No."
"Well, I decided a young girl isn't right. I should date an older woman, for obvious reasons," he looked up at his hair and chuckled.
"I didn't know you would ever date after Mom," Cassandra replied. "I'm happy for you, though. Getting back into the dating world, I mean."
"Thank you dear, but you are right. Nobody can replace Bella. But I know I can find her. I know I can bring her back. I have to."
MEANWHILE..
"Where's the bathroom?" Sharla blushed.
"Follow me," Alexander replied and showed her the door.
"Thank you, I will be just a moment."
A couple minutes later, Sharla popped her head out the door.
"Umm, Alex?"
"Yes?"
"Which soap do I use?" she chuckled with another blush. "There are just so many!"
"Any?"
"Why?" he asked with concern.
"My family is often shunned by the town. They say we are just too ugly," she said depressed. "None of the other kids want to play with me, or even let me near them. I'm surprised you did!"
"I will never leave you, okay? We will be best friends forever!" he said happily.
"Well, okay. But what do you want to do now?"
"Let's give each other makeovers!"
"I never thought I'd hear a boy say that!" she laughed. "But why do you want to do that?"
"Well, my sister got one yesterday. I feel like I should too, plus, I feel like you will look a lot prettier with your hair down," he blushed. "You are cute.."
"Really?" she asked hopefully.
"Really, really," he blushed some more.
"Okay.. Let's do the makeovers! You first."
LATER...
Mortimer wanted to get another wife soon. He didn't have much time in the world left. He decided to call a matchmaker. He wanted to make sure this wife was perfect, so he spent 5,000 simoleons. But he didn't get what he hoped for. The woman wore a weird outfit, and she didn't like him.
"What is it?" he said with worry.
"I cannot tell you, you must find out for yourself."
Either way, he thanked the lady and ran inside to look for his beloved.
Mortimer had never been so happy. He was getting his Bella back! Sure, the town might have declared her dead and did a bunch of other things so they would have to remarry, but he would live the rest of his life together with his beloved. If only she remembered.
Mortimer ran inside, but Cassandra already beat him to it. There was Bella. Just standing there, watching her daughter play the piano. Cassandra noticed her mother, and immediately hugged her.
The lady in red turned to him. "I'm sorry sir, are you talking to me?"
"Bella!" he laughed happily and ran to hug her, but she wouldn't have any of it.
The beautiful lady in red gave her a confused look. "Mom? What do you mean? Am I your mom?"
"Yes, don't you remember?" Cassandra wept.
"Why do you look like me? Who am I? WHERE am I?'
"You're Bella Goth, my love," Mortimer whispered as he cried. "You're finally home and you don't even know it.."
"Am I your daughter?"
"What?! No! You're my wife!"
"I will tell you what. If you can manage to prove to me I was your wife, I will remarry you. If not, I leave."
"Oh, my dear Bella, anything. Anything and everything for you."
Mortimer grabbed a bunch of family photos and albums and rushed off to his ex-wife. He showed her each picture, of them playing together as kids, dancing together at prom (with very red cheeks), a kiss under the moonlight, going to college together, getting engaged, marrying, them holding little Cassandra together, Cassandra aging up to a child, Cassandra aging up to a teen, Cassandra holding Alexander, and finally a picture of Cassandra getting engaged. Cassandra was staring at the photo with them, so she grabbed it and shredded it.
"I don't ever want to see him again."
"Thank gosh," Mortimer put a hand over his heart. "That man was nothing but trouble!"
"Wait a minute, Alexander doesn't know Mom is home!" Cassandra exclaimed. She rushed the boy downstairs and all he said was "Hi, mom.." before falling out cold on the floor. Cassandra laughed as she picked him up and put him to bed before going to sleep herself.
"Okay, fine. I see who I was, but I have one last task for you, Mortimer," she glanced at his name on one of the pictures. "Woo me."
"What?"
"Show me you love me."
"I-I," he stammered. "I never was one for words," he mumbled.
"Oh, Morty," she laughed. "I can't hold it in any longer, you are just too cute!"
"Thank, goodness! I thought I was going to have to sing a poem or something!"
"Mortimer, I promise to never leave again."
"What are we to do?"
"I have an idea."
"Perfect, my love," he smiled.
"Wait.. Morty?"
"Yes, dear?"
"I need a new hair style and maybe some makeup. Meet me in the living room in a moment."
"Umm.. okay?"
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Thank you @MDianaSanders for halloween-fying Golluma
Awesome story indeed! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Yours sincerely, Joseph
First off, the pacing is all kinds of wrong. In the span of just one chapter Mortimer decides to break up with Dina, that's not how this should go, t should take a lot more time than just one chapter and a few pictures for Mortimer to call it off with her. And the reasoning you give for why he decided to do it makes very little sense. Mortimer only breaks up with Dina because Alexander doesn't like her, that's the only reason you give and there are a lot of reasons you could've gone with and ways they could've broken up, for example since Dina is after Mortimer's money he could slowly realize that Dina is only after his money after she starts showing her true colors, or you could've gone with the fact that she is dating Don Lothario, Mortimer could've found out and see her as unfaithful and decide to call if off. But for all these possibilities you go with the one that makes little sense whatsoever, this coming from personal experience my mother dated, got engaged to, and married a guy that I absolutely loathed and she didn't care because the child has very very very VERY little say in their parent's romantic life.
And still on pacing is the return of Bella, it's done WAY too soon. You need to build up to it, and what I mean is not having her magically poof back in, no, this is not how it works at all in storytelling, having just come back in after being gone for so long just comes off as lazy writing. But there is one thing I do have to commend with Bella's return, and that's Mortimer's realization that there's only one woman for him. But like everything else in this story it's just rushed and poorly executed. The realization needs to be gradual instead of instant, and Mortimer needs to realize it on his own instead of a ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ flat out saying it to him.
And then there's Cassandra, you say she's like a mini Bella, that idea is rather nice. But again like everything else it suffers from rush and execution, and the way Bella redoes her appearance at the end of Chapter 3 opens a huge can of worms, because they look alike Cassandra could very well just take her glasses off and pose as her mother and get with her father, and that's just creepy. And the way she just gives into it like it's her only option seems lazy. Cassandra should be like a mini Bella, but she should try to forge her own identity instead of just giving in and being a second Bella, because that's what you've made her. A second Bella.
You're really rude. I enjoyed the story. Learn about constructive criticism, seriously.
EDIT: I just realised it was posted in January. Well if you can, you should continue the story.
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Sims 2 Pleasant view story: http://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/835656/a-not-so-pleasantview-story#latest
***Please bring back Sims 2 style storytelling features and make them publishable.***
And to that person who wrote that negative review. Let's see YOU write a story.
> AlexanderGothsim wrote: ยป
>
> This story is just a rushed mess.
>
> First off, the pacing is all kinds of wrong. In the span of just one chapter Mortimer decides to break up with Dina, that's not how this should go, t should take a lot more time than just one chapter and a few pictures for Mortimer to call it off with her. And the reasoning you give for why he decided to do it makes very little sense. Mortimer only breaks up with Dina because Alexander doesn't like her, that's the only reason you give and there are a lot of reasons you could've gone with and ways they could've broken up, for example since Dina is after Mortimer's money he could slowly realize that Dina is only after his money after she starts showing her true colors, or you could've gone with the fact that she is dating Don Lothario, Mortimer could've found out and see her as unfaithful and decide to call if off. But for all these possibilities you go with the one that makes little sense whatsoever, this coming from personal experience my mother dated, got engaged to, and married a guy that I absolutely loathed and she didn't care because the child has very very very VERY little say in their parent's romantic life.
>
> And still on pacing is the return of Bella, it's done WAY too soon. You need to build up to it, and what I mean is not having her magically poof back in, no, this is not how it works at all in storytelling, having just come back in after being gone for so long just comes off as lazy writing. But there is one thing I do have to commend with Bella's return, and that's Mortimer's realization that there's only one woman for him. But like everything else in this story it's just rushed and poorly executed. The realization needs to be gradual instead of instant, and Mortimer needs to realize it on his own instead of a ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ flat out saying it to him.
>
> And then there's Cassandra, you say she's like a mini Bella, that idea is rather nice. But again like everything else it suffers from rush and execution, and the way Bella redoes her appearance at the end of Chapter 3 opens a huge can of worms, because they look alike Cassandra could very well just take her glasses off and pose as her mother and get with her father, and that's just creepy. And the way she just gives into it like it's her only option seems lazy. Cassandra should be like a mini Bella, but she should try to forge her own identity instead of just giving in and being a second Bella, because that's what you've made her. A second Bella.
>
>
>
>
> You're really rude. I enjoyed the story. Learn about constructive criticism, seriously.
But, the person did give constructive criticism? They pointed out the obvious issues with the story and gave ideas for how it could be better, and even said that the general idea of Cassandra reminding people of her mother is nice, but the way it was executed was not. It was rather creepy how she tried to emulate her mother to take her place. (have you ever seen the movie Single White Female? That's essentially the premise of the movie; girl starts to emulate her roommates appearance and creeps the roommate out. Also, she's a total psycho path.)
The reviewer really wasn't out of line or rude at all. They gave constructive criticism, stated some things they liked but, also gave ways the story teller could improve their story. I know it hurts to hear those things sometimes, even if they are true; but, please don't accuse the reviewer of just being 'rude.'