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Under The Tartosan Sun

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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @BlueSeaWaves Thank you.🙂
    Everybody got a to-go bag full of romance. Meghan and Blake will have to come up with something big to compete with Jasmine's offer. Having your books made into movies would be so much fun. We'll have to see what Danielle thinks of it after she's had some to time to contemplate it.

    @luciusstorm Thank you too.🙂
    Some people just seem to be a magnet for good things or bad. In Danielle's case she is a magnet for good things. She also has a valid point that the others may have been feeling the wine and champagne to some degree too.🤣
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    luciusstormluciusstorm Posts: 1,763 Member
    @DaniRose2143
    Nonsense. Danielle is clearly a nexus for Fate... and the wine put her friends in a state of sufficiently altered awareness to be able to recognize it. :) Or, she the main character of the story and weird and wonderful things always happen to the main character... otherwise there wouldn't be a story.

    Poh'Ta'Toh, Poh'Tah'Toh.

    So the real question is - if they turn one of Danielle's books into a movie, do they get Londyn to star in it... or would it be too Meta to have the woman who inspired the character in the novel be the actress who plays the character she inspired in the movie based by the novel?
    Fate is a riddle and we choose our own answer. Wyrd Girls
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    GalacticGalGalacticGal Posts: 29,079 Member
    @DaniRose2143 That was well-worth the wait. I loved it. I also liked the background on the ristorante that you laid out. Did you build the Rise & Grind yourself? I really enjoyed the look of it. I keep thinking I need to add such to my game save. I liked the ease of the conversations between the friends and with the potential Agent. Very nicely done, nothing felt forced. It was natural. Well done. :)
    You can download (free) all three volumes of my Night Whispers Star Trek Fanfiction here: http://galacticgal.deviantart.com/gallery/ You'll need to have a pdf reader. New websites: http://www.trekkiefanfiction.com/st-tos.php
    http://www.getfreeebooks.com/star-trek-original-series-fan-fiction-trilogy/
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @luciusstorm
    That is another way to look at it.🤔 I said that because I didn't want her to come across as supernatural. She does give off an aura of peace and love so yeah, others in her vicinity probably do pick up that energy and find themselves drawn to it.

    I asked myself that very question as I was writing that part. I don't think she would. It's only natural that the studio, or the director would ask her if she wanted to take on the role, but I don't see her doing it. I really don't think she'd be comfortable with it. Maybe she would be interested in having a role in the production, as a producer, assistant director, or some other behind the camera role.
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @GalacticGal Thank you so much.🙂 I didn't build Rise & Grind. That was the work of LittleDica. He made a coffeehouse stuff pack. He used the items he made plus a few items from other creators and he built the lot too. It is amazing. It is the first lot I can recall downloading that I didn't change a single thing. I always find one or two things I change to fit my tastes, but not this one.
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    mightyspritemightysprite Posts: 6,130 Member
    Sounds like she found a winner in this agent :) Good luck Danielle!
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    haneulhaneul Posts: 1,954 Member
    @DaniRose2143 This chapter is such a sweet, feel-good chapter.
    I love the lighting in La Cucina. The restaurant feels so cozy and warm. Everyone is also right about Danielle. She's supportive of her friends and a great person to know. I also like Jasmine, so I'm really curious about the other two potential agents because Jasmine seems perfectly acceptable. I expect that at least one of them will be worse than Jasmine, but for Danielle's sake, hopefully they'll be even better.
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    Thank you both so much.❤️

    @mightysprite
    I found a couple of articles that explain what a literary agent does. I tried to take those details and make three different deals to have them pitch to her. I wanted each offer have one really good element and one that is kind of a downside. Going first Jasmine’s offer looks all good but the downside will show a bit more when the other offers are revealed.

    @haneul
    Feel good is the best definition of what this story is. Drama is fine, but I also love stories that have a ‘Hallmark Moment’ feeling to them.
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    EllupelluelluEllupelluellu Posts: 7,318 Member
    Beautifully written <3
    Warm, sweet feeling in that restaurant, I love how you gave it backstory too <3
    Jasmine sure seems just fitting for Danielle. She will not cause Danielle hard time like certain someone did!
    She looks very beautiful, but so are all your characters , sort of images of perfection :) .
    The others need to have lots to offer , to have even small change of win :)

    That coffee house is great, like I once said in What happened , it makes me regret I dont use b/b cc before game is done :)
    My love, my love, my fearless love, I will not say goodbye..
    Sea may rise, sky may fall, My love will never die..
    My heart, my heart, My drowning heart, Oh all the tears I've cried
    Oh I may weep forevermore, My love will never die..
    My Story:Villa Catarina
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    hellohannah2hellohannah2 Posts: 839 Member
    this was such a sweet chapter <3
    I loved the addition of all of the Italian words, and alongside the descriptions of the scenery & restaurant it felt so authentic to me. (I've yet to visit Italy, of course, but it's how I always imagine it haha!!) I'm so relieved for Danielle that she's found a much more tolerant agent like Jasmine, who seems like a true gem. I just know that she'll get the respect that she deserves under this new publishing house. Loved it!
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    Thank you both so much.❤️

    @Ellupelluellu
    I feel like we’re going to see more of that little spot as the story goes on. For that reason I’ve been wanting to set up a story behind it and this felt like the perfect time.❤️

    Meghan and Blake do have a lot of work to do to compete with Jasmine. It will be interesting to see what they have to offer.

    @hellohannah2
    I’m drawing on what I imagine Italy to be like on top of all that I’m learning from my research. I’m going to be slowly adding more words and short phrases to reflect their immersion into the culture. I’m not going to repeat the mistake I made with Allegra’s debut where I included full sentences and paragraphs. That was too much. I feel like it adds some charm to the story.
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    simgirl1010simgirl1010 Posts: 36,390 Member
    Great episode. I'd cancel the other interviews and go with Jasmine.

    Now I'm hungry. Sure could go for some carbonara. 😄
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    Great episode. I'd cancel the other interviews and go with Jasmine.

    Now I'm hungry. Sure could go for some carbonara. 😄

    Thank you very much.❤️ I have time to think it over, just like Danielle. I did say that she had a meeting scheduled for the following day with Meghan. I'll go ahead and put that in the next chapter, but looking back I agree that it's hard to imagine a better offer. I wrote everything down as I thought up their offers. They looked equal then but not so much now.

    I do enjoy writing scenes involving food, especially Italian food.😁
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    haneulhaneul Posts: 1,954 Member
    @DaniRose2143 I'm really curious about these other offers.
    If Danielle is going to struggle to decide among them, I imagine that one of the other agents will offer taking a smaller cut or promise that they can obtain large advances and great royalty rates from publishers. My guess is that it may be a struggle to decide between an agent who she likes/really gets her and someone who can guarantee a lot of money.
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @haneul
    Their cut was one of the big differences between each of the three. Each one also has different specialities, like Jasmine's connections with people in the movie and tv business. Each one has various degrees of experience as an agent. Meghan being the lone adult has a lot more experience than Jasmine or Blake. All that said I had a hard time coming up with something to make poor Blake at least have a shot and I really gave Jasmine a great sales pitch. Meghan has a few interesting things she can offer but it really is hard to beat someone who actually gets you as an author and a person. It will be interesting to get into Danielle's mind and see how she views the offers. Londyn has experience with agents, albeit in a different field, and the two of them discuss everything so Londyn will have some insights to offer also.
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    simgirl1010simgirl1010 Posts: 36,390 Member
    Danielle doesn't strike me as someone who'd be in it for the money. I think she'd be more likely to choose an agent with whom she can relate to because of shared experiences. I am curious now to see what the other two agents have to offer.
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    You're right, she isn't. The fact that she makes a good living from her novels is just a happy bonus. She writes because she loves the art of storytelling and she derives pleasure from the fact that readers love her books.
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    LyrieLyrie Posts: 881 Member
    @DaniRose2143
    That was magic! The glossary was very helpful too. I agree with everyone when they say the friends, atmosphere and chatting just feels so natural, same how I would go out to eat with my friends and the all of them doing the 'umm' had me giggling! xD Summer is so funny and Dani is a positive magnet that brings everyone in, she just is unable to see it from her own perspective but I know Londyn will keep trying to convince her!

    I loved Jasmine, she was so real, not selling it to hard and just down to earth, I am eager to see what the other two offer, but yes the bar is very high, also I just love that little supportive question Londyn asked for Daniella there love, chemistry and knowledge of each other is just everything, it feels they known each other a lot longer then reality! <3
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @Lyrie Aww, thank you so much.❤️
    I'm glad you got liked the 'umm' bit. It had me laughing too. I was going to answer you last night but I had to think about this a bit. I think Danielle sees that she spreads love and positive vibes but she's not entirely comfortable with talking about it. She's a very selfless and giving person and she's not sure how to handle it when the praise is coming at her. She's more comfortable giving rather than receiving. Danielle is still trying to grasp the idea that she has a fanbase and that they love her books, and her, as much as they do. How does she acknowledge all the blessings she's received and not let it go to her head or come off as her feeling entitled or being self absorbed? She has nothing to worry about, it's not in her nature to be selfish, but it's part of coming to terms with the fact that she is a semi-celebrity. Londyn will show her how to be a celebrity and how being a celebrity doesn't have to change who you are in your heart.

    They are so magical together that it's like they share a soul. All of the couples are deeply in love and they have found their soulmates, but Danielle and Londyn have the purest soulmate connection of the three.
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    edited August 2023
    Chapter Thirty Six

    The meeting with Jasmine Trudell had been successful. It had been so successful on the walk back to their hotel Londyn had to wrap her arm around Danielle's shoulder to prevent her running back to tell Jasmine they had a deal. "Take a deep breath babe. I was impressed too. Jasmine really feels like a good fit, but I think you should hear Meghan out at least" Londyn said as they stopped just outside the entrance of the San Myshuno Sky View Hotel. They grabbed the elevator that whisked them up to the hotel lobby. The hotel was confined to the upper floors of the Uptown Tower. The floors below were dedicated to businesses of all kinds, including several boutiques on the ground floor. That was a fact that the ladies appreciated greatly.

    The views are breathtaking due in part to the spectacular vistas of San Myshuno and the vertigo inducing height as well. On clear days you can see for miles and miles. It took some time to get used to the gentle sway of the building. It's a fact of all extremely tall buildings that they are flexible and move about in the wind. It's one thing to know that fact but it's another thing entirely to feel comfortable with it and trust that it isn't going to topple over. For both Danielle and Londyn this was by far the tallest building either one had ever been in and by a very large margin. The clerk at the front desk told them that the lobby was a dizzying 800 feet above the street. The clerk also mentioned that they were planning to add a glass express elevator to thrill guests as they made the trip up to the lobby, or terrify them as the case may be. They both agreed that the next time they were here they would stick to the old fashioned elevator.
    With their luggage stowed and the bellhop properly compensated, they made their way out to the balcony to take in the view, albeit, straight ahead and a couple of feet back from the railing. They weren't quite ready to get close to the edge, but they intended to do that before they left. They went back inside and settled down on the sofa to discuss the meeting with Jasmine.

    "I felt that she was really genuine. I feel like she'll be in my corner and not just worried about herself."

    "I felt the same thing. I asked the question I did not just to see if she would be honest about who she knows, but I wanted to watch her reaction to being questioned in general. I wanted to see her eyes and watch her body language. She didn't flinch and I feel like she was at ease with being questioned."
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    "I love the idea of writing for publishers who want the books I want to write. I’m not going to compromise or sellout my vision just to sell books.”

    “I love your strength and determination baby. With Jasmine I don't see any reason why you would have to compromise or sellout. You didn't compromise when Faith threatened to destroy your career. You dug deep within yourself and found that spark of determination and you fought for your creative vision."

    "Thank you for being here for me" Danielle said before she leaned in for a kiss. “I love you.”
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    “I love you too. I will always be here for you, in any situation. We are two halves of the same whole. I don’t feel like soulmate even comes close to how I feel about you my baby boo.” Londyn took Danielle in her arms and returned her kiss. "I believe we have a show to get ready for."

    Danielle and Londyn had picked up new dresses from Galleria Bianca DeLuca before they left Tartosa. Danielle picked out a lovely black cocktail dress with silver detailing edged with beads. Londyn went for a one sleeve, cold shoulder evening gown in black. Tonight felt really special so Londyn decided to skip putting her hair up in her signature high ponytail and let her lovely chestnut brown hair cascade down her back.

    "I love it when you wear your hair down. I love running my fingers through it."

    "In that case I could be persuaded to wear it down more often" Londyn cooed.
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    With the mood getting steamy they were ready for the show. The San Myshuno Theatre Company’s production of Moulin Rouge has been a hit for the last three years. They're always drawing sellout audiences and pulling crowds to the Arts District hoping to score last minute tickets. With the art galleries, food stalls, and nearby karaoke bars there is no shortage of ways to entertain yourself and expand your mind and your waistline. The air seems to crackle with the creative energy of the hundreds artists of all kinds. Buskers singing their hearts out for love of music and spare change can be heard on almost every graffitied corner. Artists displaying their latest painting or sculpture, doing what they do for the love of the expressing the creativity burning inside. The girls, artists and kindred spirits to the people here in this little corner of the world, slowly made their way through the crowd, hands lovingly clutched. They were enjoying the works and the little pieces of themselves the other artists were sharing with the world, but also acknowledging how lucky they were to have reached the heights they have with their artistry. They were largely 🐸🐸🐸🐸 by fans and autograph seekers though Londyn was happy oblige her fans. She knows that will begin to change soon as her public profile grows. That made this outing even more special since they could be in public without being mobbed.

    "I can't believe it, we're here, we're actually going to see a show on San Myshuno's Broadway. I've dreamt of this day but I never knew if and when I might have a chance to be here. And I have you to share it with" Danielle said. "Maybe that's why it never happened before tonight. The universe was waiting for us to meet so we could share this moment."

    "I Londyn leaned in for a kiss and then said, "If I couldn't be in movies I would love to perform theatre. It's more real, there's a connection that you just can't get even on a crowded movie set. It's acting on a high wire without a net. You can't yell cut and ask for another take, you do or die every night, with every single line. I would love to play Satine someday."

    They headed inside and found their seats. The show was set to begin shortly and the room was a buzz of conversation, anticipation, and excitement. The theatre had been playing music to entertain the audience before the show. Adele's 'Rolling In The Deep' came wafting over the sound system like a thumping, bouncing, irresistible tidal wave. Even though they were drawing an odd look or two the girls joined in with Adele and sung along, lost in the song and the excitement. When the song finished, to their surprise, a handful of people gave them a round of applause. "Don't look now, but I think we just became the stars of the show" Londyn said with a giggle as Danielle slid down in her seat a little. She brought her hand up to hide her face as she felt the blush wash over her. The stage manager saved her as the lights went down. He knew his business and he held the curtain going up long enough that you could feel the anticipation electrify the air. The curtain went up and the show was off and running.

    "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and to be loved in return"
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    What's his type? Wilting flower? Bright and bubbly? Or smoldering temptress?
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    When will I begin to live again? One day I'll fly away...
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    After the encore the manager greeted Londyn with a message. She was invited to come backstage if she was interested. "There is someone backstage who would really love to meet you, and your wife as well" he said. The ladies were intrigued and agreed to follow. Once they were backstage they were greeted by 'Satine'. In this case Alecia Lyons who had delivered a spectacular turn as the tragic heroine of the show. She had spotted the pair in the front row and wanted to say hello to one of her favorite stars.

    "We get all sorts of famous people coming to see shows, but I don't recall ever seeing one sitting in the front row. They usually have a private box. Londyn and Danielle Huntley in the front row of our show."
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    "I'm not that famous yet, but I'm flattered that you asked to see us. You were magnificent. Nicole eat your heart out."
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    "I'm sure you two are only in the city for a short time, and that you have big plans for the rest of your evening, so I won't keep you. I just wanted to say hello and say it's so wonderful of you to come and take an interest in our little show. I love your movies, you are supremely talented" she said to Londyn before turning to Danielle, "and your books. I finished 'Reminders Of Her' last week and it's my favorite. And I have read all of your books."
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    "It's my turn to be flattered. I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my books. It makes all the effort to write them feel so worthwhile. Thank you very much."
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    The rest of the night was a blur of wine and dancing before they made their way back to the hotel. They spent the rest of the night bouncing to the beat of the music, and their hearts, going from club to club. Once they finally called it a night and they reached their room they took a moment to step out on the balcony and take in the San Myshuno nighttime skyline, among other things.
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    The sun rose bright and clear over the city and surprisingly over Danielle and Londyn too. One of the gifts of youth is the resilience to shake off a night out. It didn't hurt that even though they enjoyed a few drinks on their nights out, the girls knew their limits and rarely went beyond them. They could always catch up on lost sleep when they got home, or to the Thebe Estate which they were temporarily renting while the contractors got to work on the renovations to their home.
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    After a breakfast of, bagels, scones, and lattes at the nearby Rise & Grind there was time for some shopping before Danielle's meeting with Meghan Gillespie. They browsed the boutiques on the lower floors of the tower were the hotel is located to while away the time until the meeting. Danielle's meeting was set for late morning which left them some time afterwards to get back to the hotel and grab their things and head for the airport and home. Summer and Liberty were hanging out at Liberty's place and the exchanged photos with the girls. Summer sent them a picture of the work on their home and Danielle sent them pictures of the outfits they wore on their night out.
    They arrived at Meghan's office and headed up to the reception area. They wanted to be early so they would have a chance to talk and go over any questions they could think up. Unlike the meeting with Jasmine, Meghan had not extended an offer to Londyn to sit in. She didn't say that Londyn couldn't come either, but they decided that it would be for the better if Londyn waited out here for Danielle unless Meghan made the offer. "You did most of the talking with Jasmine and you did a fantastic job so you know what you're doing. I'll be here if she asks or if you need me."
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    "Mrs Huntley, what a pleasure it is meet you. Do you prefer Mrs Huntley or Danielle?"

    "Danielle is fine. I'm so happy to meet you as well. What a lovely office you have, and that view is wonderful."
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    "It's nice for when I need a break to clear my mind or to contemplate. Let's get down to business shall we. I heard about your run in with Faith Middleton. It may be a bit unprofessional of me to say, but I find that woman absolutely vile and that's on her good day. She's infamous for her attitude and she's starting to really alienate her publishing company with writers. I can promise you the people I work with are nothing like her. They may be hard nosed and very results oriented, but they are civil. Tell me a bit about your background. How you got interested in being a novelist? Did you always plan to write romance?"

    "I grew up in Willow Creek with parents who are very artistically inclined. My mom and dad are both painters. My mother in particular wanted me to be a painter too, but I've always loved writing. I learned to paint and I'm fairly good at it, but my heart was never in it. Not like their's are. I am a hopeless romantic and I've always preferred stories with romantic plots so there was never any doubt in my mind that I was going to write romance novels. The question always was which subgenre. I prefer contemporary romance. As I'm sure you know I started out writing heterosexual themes, but after coming out to myself and the world my main characters are all lesbians. Each one is inspired to various degrees by my lovely wife Londyn. I also include other characters who are part of the LGBTQ community as well as straight characters too. I love for my stories to cover a whole spectrum of people and experiences."
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    "So with your focus on LGBTQ characters and storylines, which having read a couple of your books to be ready for our conversation I must say you do extremely well, you would be looking for publishers who know how to handle those books? Have you met Jasmine Trudell yet?"
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    Danielle felt like she was at a crossroads and not really sure which path to take. She chose to do the only thing she really knows how to do, be honest. "Yes. I had a meeting with her yesterday" she said.
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    "Don't worry dear. I'm not offended that you did. You should meet with more than one potential agent. We all have different strengths. I know Jasmine quite well and she is a consummate pro. She and I offer you two different packages and you should listen to your heart as to which one you feel fits you. After I lay out what I have to offer I would hope you would take mine, but knowing Jasmine like I do, and your background, I don't think you'd go wrong with either of us."

    "I am a bit surprised that you are so candid in your praise of a competitor."
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    "I had a hand in mentoring her when she started and I'm fond of her. If I had to lose a potential client to anybody I would want it to be her. Now down to what I can offer you. I have been in the publishing business for almost forty years, the last twenty-eight as an agent. I started when I was senior in high school working part time as a proofreader. I have lots of contacts all over the business, but I have a great working relationship with the big five publishing houses. If you want to reach the biggest audience possible they will do it. They don't specialize in LGBTQ topics like some of the smaller companies but they are getting better. With those publishers also comes opportunities to distribute your books internationally and not just in English speaking countries."
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    "What about movies and tv?"

    "Those opportunities do happen from time to time."

    "What about your commission? How much do you ask?"
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    "I take a straight 20% on everything. That is higher than most but with my experience I can find you some of the highest paying deals. You're giving me a bigger percentage, but you're also walking away with more in your pocket because of the amounts I can secure."

    "What about advances? I meant to ask Jasmine about that and forgot."

    "Let me clear up some common misconceptions that younger authors often have about what advances really are. They're aren't separate from royalties as some believe. They are advances against royalties. When I pitch your book to a publisher they read it and decide if they like it, but also how much money they believe it will earn. An advance is simply giving you some of your projected royalties up front. If they think they can make 100,000 simoleons selling your book and they owe you 40,000 in royalties on those sales they may offer you say 10,000 when you deliver the book. They're betting on you to deliver the goods. Starting out, young writers dream of six-figure advances or more. That doesn't happen and anyone who tells you that they do isn't being honest. In your position with a short but proven track record you could reasonably expect 10-20K up front. That advance money is your's even if the books do not make enough in sales to cover the payment. There again anybody who tells you that repayment is necessary is not being honest. What also happens is you won't see any royalty checks until you've covered the cost of the advance. Once that happens then you start seeing royalty checks. The downside is, if you fail to deliver and the publisher has to eat that loss, it will be harder to find takers on future books. That's why I caution my clients to take lesser amounts in advance. Once you become more established you can risk higher advances and some busts because publishers will be more understanding when you have the odd dud here and there."
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    "I never saw any advance payments from Faith so this is very illuminating. This has been a very enlightening conversation and you've given me a lot to think about. I'll sit down with Londyn and we'll go over your offer and Jasmine's. Thank you so much for your time. It was an absolute pleasure meeting you."

    "Take your time and don't rush this decision. You have a lot of talent and you potentially have the world at your feet. I would love to help you get there. Thank you for coming and I hope you had fun in San Myshuno and that you and Londyn have a safe trip home."

    With that Danielle met Londyn in the reception area. "How'd it go?"
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    "We have a lot to consider and to talk about. Give me a kiss and then let's go home."
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    Post edited by DaniRose2143 on
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    luciusstormluciusstorm Posts: 1,763 Member
    @DaniRose2143, Danielle and Londyn are such a wonderful couple.
    I love your description of the hotel. Excellent and vivid... I wouldn't want to stand on that balcony.

    Moulin Rouge is a favorite of mine. Do we have a new character?

    I'm glad we got to see the new offer... do we go with the energized, young talent and the specialty house or do we go with the strong, experienced once with a broader reach? Decisions, decisions.
    Fate is a riddle and we choose our own answer. Wyrd Girls
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    DaniRose2143DaniRose2143 Posts: 9,258 Member
    @luciusstorm Thank you so much.❤️ We should all be lucky enough to find someone who loves us the way those two love each other.
    As you can see from the screenshots they worked up the nerve to go near the railing. Closer than I would have irl. I did have a funny moment when I was creating that hotel. I was working on one of the rooms and I swung the camera around to see what I was doing better, and I caught a glimpse of the world far below and sunk my fingers into the arm of the chair for a second.🤣

    I love that movie and I again Thursday night while I was trying to create a stage scene and then again this morning while I was finishing up. I don't think we have a new character. I just thought it would be fun to have Londyn and Danielle get recognized in public. Londyn is now a B-lister so she's going to draw a lot more attention. I had Danielle step into the spotlight and for now she's a notable newcomer. We'll see if she goes for global superstar or if she just hangs around rising star status.

    That is a tough decision. If she wants big money Meghan's offer is very attractive, but if it's more about the art of writing and wanting to feel secure that her vision is going to be fully supported Jasmine's offer is the better one. Poor Blake is really in a hole and he hasn't even pitched an offer. When I sat down and started drawing these up his was the last one I did, and I struggled to come up with anything at all. He's all but out of the running at this point unless I suddenly think of something.
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    EllupelluelluEllupelluellu Posts: 7,318 Member
    Hi :)
    Well written, It's great how well you bring up how meant together they are. <3

    Theatre part was awesome, and indeed you found great build :)

    Meghan seemed nice, still something in Jasmine I personally liked more.

    Its, honestly speaking, hard to believe the dude left to go can offer anything to convince Danielle:)
    My love, my love, my fearless love, I will not say goodbye..
    Sea may rise, sky may fall, My love will never die..
    My heart, my heart, My drowning heart, Oh all the tears I've cried
    Oh I may weep forevermore, My love will never die..
    My Story:Villa Catarina
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    luciusstormluciusstorm Posts: 1,763 Member
    Pondering agent #3...
    The only thing I can think of for the third agent to offer is that he's with a major publisher with a strong marketing department... able to her books out to a wider audience (or that could be a pitch.)

    Sorry, just an idea that hit me.
    Fate is a riddle and we choose our own answer. Wyrd Girls
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    GalacticGalGalacticGal Posts: 29,079 Member
    I really like the stability of this couple. How they continually support the other. This is what love is all about and you capture it very well. I also enjoyed the description of the building. I never knew I had a fear of heights until I road the parachute ride at Knox Berry Farm. Years ago, so I doubt I would even step out on the balcony!

    Loved the sets you created, too.

    As for the third agent, it's a little like picking a Contractor to help remodel your house. Get five estimates, throw out the high and the low and choose one from the middle. I do hope you get inspired for that third possibility. I'm very curious to know which one, Danielle goes with. I like both, so far.

    Good job of writing it up. I look forward to the next chapter. :)
    I didn't hide my remarks under a spoiler, because I peek under those, too. LOL What is the point?
    You can download (free) all three volumes of my Night Whispers Star Trek Fanfiction here: http://galacticgal.deviantart.com/gallery/ You'll need to have a pdf reader. New websites: http://www.trekkiefanfiction.com/st-tos.php
    http://www.getfreeebooks.com/star-trek-original-series-fan-fiction-trilogy/

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