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A turtle's Journey

Comments

  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    Sometimes you end up in trouble you can not predict..... You are unfortunately just in the wrong place

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    Chapter 5

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    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 852 Member
    edited July 22
    @MonaSolstraale All caught up! :mrgreen:
    I feel bad for Finn. I mean, everyone hates the welcome wagon and their spongy fruit cake, that's pretty much a given. xD But to instantly hate all strangers that come knocking on his door... that's not a good thing. I wonder what happened to make him become like that. It seems like something worse than bullies.

    Do you mind if I comment on your writing style? The text between pictures often has the "." missing at the end of the sentence. For me it reads easier if it's there. Maybe you can add it to sentences in future chapters? :blush:
    Post edited by _sims_Yimi on
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @_sims_Yimi Thanks for your comments. <3
    I'm happy with your comments on my writing style and I will try to remember "." from now on. :)
    It's all a teaching process as it's the first time I're translating a story. Without google translate I was completely lost .... but I can still see when the translations are too crazy. I can also see that I often jump around in the present and past in a purely grammatical way. I hope I become more confident with time and along the way I learn a lot by reading other people's stories.

    Finn is a loner. ... at least here at the beginning of the story. Part of his behavior is therefore also due to his character traits.
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • ShadamiShadami Posts: 3,504 Member
    oh gosh, jumping between past and present is no problem for me xD English is my first language and my teachers hated that I could never stick to one through an entire piece.

    I also don't mind the broken English because as something me who completely fails to learn other languages I'm always impressed that others can learn English. It's crazy.
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  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @Shadami Thank you for your support <3
    I did not feel offended.... I really want to develop and learn :)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MaggieMarleyMaggieMarley Posts: 3,798 Member
    edited July 22
    The headmaster has a cowplant... Maybe Finn should feed Jeff and Tom to it ;) (although this is a flashback so it's too late to take that advice now).

    My heart really warms to Finn <3
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 852 Member

    Oh I absolutely didn't mean to offend! Please believe me. I like the story, and there's something really endearing about the way @MonaSolstraale writes. I just wanted to help. <3
  • ShadamiShadami Posts: 3,504 Member
    @Shadami Thank you for your support <3
    I did not feel offended.... I really want to develop and learn :)

    Didn't think you were xD I'm sure you're gonna get better. :)

    I just relate a ton on grammar errors .
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  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @_sims_Yimi I appreciate your comments and I'm really glad you like the story <3
    @Shadami :+1::)

    @MaggieMarley <3 .....I almost fell in love with Finn when I played him :blush:
    ......... and Muhahaha!!!! >:)
    m5YRo4il.png
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member

    Finally! After a long journey, Finn and Naja have arrived at their destination ... a pristine beach plot in Mua Pel'am.

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    Chapter 6
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • ShadamiShadami Posts: 3,504 Member
    I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
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  • MaggieMarleyMaggieMarley Posts: 3,798 Member
    They're in Sulani now, yay! Such a beautiful world.
    I bet Finn is a merman ;)

    Naja seemed bored, reading all those books - or maybe she is a bookworm?

    Finn is happy though, lots of fishing for him here!
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    Shadami wrote: »
    I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
    Thanks for your question :)
    It is difficult to answer yes or no....
    I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
    If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story :/
    If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me :)
    My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
    I appreciate your interest in following my tale :)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @MaggieMarley
    Oh! I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you :/
    Finn is not a supernatural person...
    There will be some supernatural beings in the story .... just think of the cowplants :)
    Maybe even a mermaid or merman ;)

    Regarding Naja ... You will soon discover that you have already answered your own question ;)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MaggieMarleyMaggieMarley Posts: 3,798 Member
    @MaggieMarley
    Oh! I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you :/
    Finn is not a supernatural person...
    There will be some supernatural beings in the story .... just think of the cowplants :)
    Maybe even a mermaid or merman ;)

    Regarding Naja ... You will soon discover that you have already answered your own question ;)
    No, I'm not disappointed that Finn isn't supernatural :) I was just guessing, but I am not the best at guessing how stories will go :D . I am so curious to see what happens!
  • MaggieMarleyMaggieMarley Posts: 3,798 Member
    edited July 23
    Shadami wrote: »
    I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
    Thanks for your question :)
    It is difficult to answer yes or no....
    I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
    If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story :/
    If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me :)
    My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
    I appreciate your interest in following my tale :)

    Don't be hard on yourself, your writing is great! Even I make grammar mistakes and I am a native English speaker :D honestly, there are very very few errors and they are extremely minor errors anyway. They don't by any means affect the quality or readability of the story. It's impressive to me that you are writing a story in another language at all!
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @MaggieMarley Thanks :kissing_heart:<3
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • pammiechickpammiechick Posts: 11,637 Member
    Loved the new chapter! I found it comforting! <3
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  • SkeilahSkeilah Posts: 656 Member
    All caught up! I really like the story :) Also, learning English by writing stories is really a good thing. I've been doing this myself (I'm Dutch) for quite a time now and if I read my written English stories from a year ago and my stories now, I see how much I've grown. This will be the exact same for you so please, keep it up! You're really doing great!! <3
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    Thanks @pammiechick ! I'm glad you liked it <3
    Finn needed a little peace from his ghosts :)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @Skeilah Thank you for your comment! <3
    I'm glad you like this story and I'm glad I found the courage to share it ;)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    edited July 24
    Naja starts school and Finn is looking for work in Ohan'ali.
    He is immediately contacted by a local woman who kindly asks if she can help him with anything?

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    Chapter 7
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
  • ShadamiShadami Posts: 3,504 Member
    Shadami wrote: »
    I have a question since you said you're trying to learn english. Do you want grammar mistakes pointed out?
    Thanks for your question :)
    It is difficult to answer yes or no....
    I use google translate and I'm well aware of that the translations do not take grammar into account.
    If I really need to get acquainted with the rules, I need a course and it's getting too extensive here because I'm afraid it's distancing my focus from the story :/
    If, on the other hand, there is a grammatical error that makes the text incomprehensible, so please feel free to tell me :)
    My grandmother was Dutch. As a child, I loved when she read to me with her broken language and special pronunciation of the words. I think that was where I learned that the will to communicate is more important than making it perfect.
    I appreciate your interest in following my tale :)

    That is so sweet. And cool, I was curious ^^ my brain says there is something important about dutch but I'm to tired to remember why.
    Wie is de mol maybe?

    Enjoying Finn's story
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  • MaggieMarleyMaggieMarley Posts: 3,798 Member
    Aww poor Naja hopefully she adjusts to her new home soon!

    The screenshots of Finn swimming are lovely. The ocean in Sulani is always so beautiful :) Hopefully he stays safe from sharks though :p
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 532 Member
    @MaggieMarley At the moment, Finn is doing really well :)
    Naja does not have an easy time :/
    However, things are going to change for both of them.... ;)
    liwUNKFh.png
    a turtle's journey * Forum thread
    I am Danish and I use Translate
    You are welcome to join our new Danish forum here: dksimlinger.danskforum.net/
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