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Almost Eternal - Updated February 3rd

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  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member

    Also... the final part is up.
    If you want it, you'll know where to find it. ;)
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    Almost Eternal
  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,971 Member
    I can't believe we have reached the book 2 finale :open_mouth: I hope your break won't be too long, still so much to answer!
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    @ThePlumbob
    I'm aiming for early July, unless I end up writing the whole lot in one go again. :D
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    Almost Eternal
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    edited June 2021
    Feedback pages now locked. Thanks for all who participated! Ad hoc feedback is always welcome here, any time. ❤
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    I’m turning this thread over for feedback again for a while I work out the details of the next series of disasters events for our hapless cast.

    As last time, feel free to say whatever you want about anything you want or say nothing at all. BUT unlike last time, I ask that if you wish to openly discuss the more questionable aspects of my characters and their decisions, you venture over to the blog feedback page - by clicking on this image of a perfectly non-suspicious kitty - where you can be as brutal as you like.

    *Link now defunct, but enjoy the cat*
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    “Ugh, effort! I want to rip you to shreds but I don’t wanna register.”

    You don’t need to register or even leave any personal details to ever comment on my blog.

    “But there are, like, a million boxes.”

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    All those boxes are optional, so if you want to be totally anonymous, leave the personal details blank and have at it.

    Finally, there will be another Q&A with the cast at some point, so if you have any burning questions for them, you can ask them in the thread here or over on the blog.
    Characters

    Which characters do you enjoy most/least?
    Are the characters believable? Relatable? Distinguishable from one another?
    Do you have any hopes or expectations for any characters?
    Has your opinion of any character changed over the course of the story so far?
    I miss Will. Do you?

    Story

    Which plot threads do you find the most/least interesting?
    At any point so far, have I completely lost you or confused you?
    Genres: is there too much horror? Do you really want romance? Dying for more comedy? Let me know.
    Are the disclaimers suitable?
    If you were writing Almost Eternal, how would it end?

    Flashbacks

    Do you like them?
    Any flashbacks you’re hoping to see?

    Writing and General

    Is the pacing OK?
    Thoughts on the language (I’m not just talking about the plethora of forbidden words from a certain vamp) - phrasing, the archaic/literary words (usually spoken by Seth), the science/medical jargon (Lilith) and the Britishisms – does it all read OK? Or are you constantly looking up random words?
    For those of you who translate; do the vulgar words and phrases I use translate suitably?
    Chapter length: too long? Too short?
    We had a wordless chapter this book. I hated it. Did you?

    Technical

    I’m overhauling the website over the next few weeks, so if anything about the site, the blog or how I post annoys you, speak now or forever hold your peace.

    AOB

    Anything else you want to say?
    Insults and gratuitous praise directed at me go in this section

    Sum up Almost Eternal 2: Descent in one sentence
    By doing so you’re giving me permission to update my ‘what people say’ section.
    Thanks! I think...
    Post edited by SnuffyBucket on
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    Almost Eternal
  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,971 Member
    Whoop! I think I'll do this section by section, so for now, Character questions below.

    Which characters do you enjoy most/least?
    I enjoy Seth because he's a delightful serving of that onion baumkuchen of yours - he doesn't even know all the layers himself, and I love it. Yes, I just called Seth delightful, lol. No going back now.

    I have a soft spot for Caleb; though a big part of that is because I just feel sorry for him.

    Lilith's actually grown on me a bit over the course of Book 2. She still grinds my gears sometimes but AE wouldn't be the same without her.

    I like Wyatt and Broof's dynamic, though I don't know if I'd love them the same individually. I did like Caleb and Wyatt together like a fun car crash mind. Maybe Wyatt is just the type of character that makes other shine. Not that Caleb shone at that party, lol. More like the opposite haha.

    I hate Sage.

    Weirdly, even though we started the story with April, Faith and Melinda I find myself less invested in them than the others. I suppose it's hard for them to compete with the centuries of baggage the older characters can offer.

    Are the characters believable? Relatable? Distinguishable from one another?
    Definitely believable, and most of them have been relatable at least on some occasion. In fact, it would be harder to think of someone I could not relate to at least a little, on at least one point. Probably Chuck. And Sage because I can't stand her. Moving on.

    They definitely do all feel distinct from one another. Every one of the characters has their own personality, for better and for worse.

    Do you have any hopes or expectations for any characters?
    Hahahahaha, hopes... yeah, right :joy:

    Ok, I guess I hope that Wyatt and April are able to at least briefly form some kind of a relationship, because that would be interesting.

    Beyond that, I don't dare to hope for anything.

    Maybe I'd like to see Melinda fall from grace a little bit, because that would be fun.

    Has your opinion of any character changed over the course of the story so far?
    As I've mentioned above, I've warmed up to Lilith a bit, though I don't think that's necessarily because I perceive her differently but because she's spent the whole season separated from the rest of the group. It's done her good to be able to take a bit of a step back. Though we'll see how I feel about her going forward now that everyone's been reunited, haha.

    I think my opinion of April has changed too, now that we know more about her mental capacity as a witch and because we know so little of what she was like before the binding happened. Who knows what she could have been... though I'm sure her journey's far from over. Unless she'll just be forever stuck in that cottage, haha.

    Other than that, I don't think my opinions on anyone have changed drastically, at least not at this point. Oh, I suppose there's Beth who we originally only saw as Will's wife who's getting all walked over but this lady is far from some helpless housewife. Still quite the wildcard though, so I reserve my judgement with her.

    I miss Will. Do you?
    Nope. Though I think I will miss Ralf.
  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 1,372 Member
    I will try to give an answer to your questions.
    If my words are replaced by too many flowers or hearts I will compose my answer to your Blog.
    First to the answers that deal with the characters:

    Which characters do you enjoy most/least?
    I think all characters have something to add to the story. That is not to say that they are equally sympathetic, but I have a hard time putting them on a graduate list.
    I love all the main characters and the portrayal of their individual personal struggles.
    I like Lilith for her idealistic struggle to choose the "good"
    I love Melinda for her empathy.
    I hate Seth's brutality.
    I'm not a big fan of Barb but I am amused by her horrible recipes :joy:

    Are the characters believable? Relatable? Distinguishable from one another?
    I think the personality portrayals are very clear and make the characters easy to know from each other.
    If I have to try to characterize them as I read them in one or two words.
    April = naive / neglected / magic?
    Melinda = empathy / loved
    Faith = rootless / impulsive / sex addicted
    Caleb = depression / helpless
    Lilith = control / idealist
    Seth = brutality / anxiety
    Chuck = fidelity / open
    Barb = ennui / anger
    Jessica = madness / intuition
    Ralf = lazy / disillusioned
    Sage = false / cynical
    Wyatt = irresponsible / immature
    Broff = philosopher / knight

    Do you have any hopes or expectations for any characters?
    I have a (naive) hope that Seth has received a spiritual revelation that will enable him to free himself from his demon and his horrific survival strategy.
    It is obvious that a veil has been removed from his eyes.

    It's a big surprise that April hides a magical oar. I hope the next book makes me wiser on what that means.

    I want to get a lot wiser on the importance of the genetic family relationships that you have revealed a little tab of. Wyatt / April and Seth / Sage.

    Of course I hope everything will be as bright as you promised me :lol:

    Has your opinion of any character changed over the course of the story so far?
    I think most characters have evolved through the story. It helps to make them interesting and lively.
    Common to many of them is that they are masters at making some really bad choices.

    I miss Will. Do you?
    Will was male chauvinistic and dangerous… I do not miss him.
  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,393 Member
    edited May 2021
    I'll just put my thoughts in a big chunk of text, I'll jump from topic to topic, so brace yourself before wading through it.
    My favorites are Lilith and Mel and Chuck. I don't always enjoy characters that are or seem to be lawful good, because writers tend to overdo it with the goodness and turn them into Mary or Gary Sue and they end up being boring. But somehow you managed to make me go against my default preferrence of the bad guys. I guess that deep in my heart I crave a character with a heart of gold after all and that's what Chuck has been so far. It's impossible not to love him. On the other hand, I expected Seth to be my fav and surprisingly he's not. Maybe I can't see his redeeming quality. Is there any at all? He has his funny moments, but I guess he's not the type of bad boy I like. I migh yet change my mind, but since I wasn't super moved by his past revealed in the flashbacks, I don't see myself changing my mind anytime soon.
    No matter though, all your characters act consistently, they always seem to be true to themselves and that's something I learned to appreciate a lot. That there's a minimum of frustrating confusion, you express yourself very clearly, your humor is great and the writing overall enjoyable.
    I liked Faith at the beginning. But the more she is obsessed with Seth and satisfying her needs, I find I can't stand her anymore. I see why it is so, but I'm not enjoying reading it. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for character's suffering and their fall to the dark side. I understand that becoming a vampire is supposed to emphasize the primitive side of a person and Faith wasn't particularly good at controlling her emotions and urges as a human in the first place. But it grates on me what she was reduced to as a vampire. Even April is doing better than her, probably because she's always been told what to think and feel, first by her mother, now by Caleb, and doesn't have to make her own decisions. I wish we finally got a chance to see who April really is too as her own person. I hope that's where the story is headed among other things. But Faith? I can't with her rn.
    Yes, I miss Will. Things are not the same without him.
    I also like Broof. Is it too much to ask for a more complex story for him? He seems to always be someone's boy for everything. Revolt, Broof! Drop your mop and dance to pop! Or better, stop cleaning other people's messes and make your own!
    Flashback are 100% enjoyable and a great insight into characters. Keep them coming.
    I don't care for disclaimers and warnings, tbh. If anything I'm rather against them, because in most cases they are spoilery and I don't like that. I didn't know they were a thing before I read my first fan fiction ever in English. If writers started putting them before every chapter in their books, I'd probably start enjoying reading books less if I'm to be honest.
    How would I want Almost Eternal to end? Ha! As a reader I want the cure for vampirism found and for the girl to have a choice. Some of them might take it and some not. Maybe the ones we wouldn't expect to would take it, like Faith, and Mel would decide to stay a vampire for whatever reason and surprise us all too. If I was writing it, well, that would probably be a different case. If I ever finished it in the first place I'd probably go for not a real happy ending. Something in between maybe. I like it when there's a substantial price for the happiness. It shouldn't come cheap. For example, you want Seth to get his souls back? Someone has to pay the price. Same with the vampire cure. Maybe things will get better for everyone, but maybe there will always have to be the Tower. Maybe April will get her freedom and Caleb ends up insane and locked in the tower or killed by Lilith. Maybe Lilith sacrifices herself out of love for Chcuk to help Mel become human again. Or maybe it all ends up with unleashing a vampire x witch war. I'm game for any of these.
    I think you're handling the language and forbidden words challenges well enough. Can't remember anything that bothered me.
    Wordless chapters? Not a fan, tbh. They have their place, but in many cases writers end up explaining what happened in them anyway, so what's the point?
    That's more than a few of my cents for now, I guess.
    Thank you.
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  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 1,156 Member
    Super late but here's mine!

    Characters
    Which characters do you enjoy most/least?
    This is a trick question, ain’t it? One of those ‘YOU ENJOY THEIR PAIN!’ sorta thing. I’m kidding. :lol:

    I get all giggly and excited whenever it’s a Lilith or Chuck feature. You weren’t kidding when you said they were going to get more screen time in S2 and I’m enjoying it. I feel pretty much the same for the teens as I did in S1, which is pretty much on the top end. The one difference is Seth. He took a nosedive. There are things I do not wish on my worst enemies and Seth will have no qualms doing those stuff to others.

    Are the characters believable? Relatable? Distinguishable from one another?
    Oof. Yes, your characters are believable and too relatable. There are quite a number of scenes in AE that hit me like a truck and quite a few characters that I cannot properly comment on for how relatable they are. Yeah I think their motivating traits and drives are emphasised very well so each character comes across different and unique to me.

    Do you have any hopes or expectations for any characters?
    I don’t know if I have expectations but I definitely have hopes. But you know me, I’m always rooting for a good outcome so I’ve got nothing new to add.

    Has your opinion of any character changed over the course of the story so far?
    Ooh! I pre-answered this. Surprisingly, I expected my feelings towards Mel to change because I felt distant from her in S1 and thought it might be that I didn’t know her well. After getting to know her thoughts and feelings in S2, I still feel distant. Maybe she’s just too wholesome. :lol: (I know she has her vices, but she’s pretty wonderful.)

    I miss Will. Do you?
    No... Not at all.. I had to erase this section five times so it stays clean. :lol:

    Story
    Which plot threads do you find the most/least interesting?
    I don’t have a preference at this stage. It could continue from whichever angle there is at the moment and I’d be just as invested.

    At any point so far, have I completely lost you or confused you?
    Considering how I reread your chapters several times before I write a comment and still miss out on critical detail, I don’t know if my answer to this question will be accurate or useful at all. xD

    Genres: is there too much horror? Do you really want romance? Dying for more comedy? Let me know.
    Nah. I think you’ve got a great formula going on. And I’m still a big advocate for writers to write whatever they want so I’m hesitant to answer this.

    Are the disclaimers suitable?
    I think you’re very kind in your disclaimers. I would’ve been more affected if you hadn’t put so much detail in your cws, but I did think that it could affect the suspense/thrill/horror element of your story. Personally I’m okay with them being less detailed or if you want them to remain the same.

    If you were writing Almost Eternal, how would it end?
    I like happy endings. Then again, my threshold for ‘happy ending’ is kinda skewed. :sweat_smile: I do have favorites though and oof. I hope they make it to the end. Kinda. o.o

    Flashbacks
    Do you like them?
    Yes!

    Any flashbacks you’re hoping to see?
    Yes, we have goth Mel and Faith crying in the bathroom at the start of S2 and the wordless chapter with Mel thinking about the past. Sounds like there are some critical details hidden there that require some spotlight. :)

    Writing and General
    Is the pacing OK?
    Yup.

    Thoughts on the language (I’m not just talking about the plethora of forbidden words from a certain vamp) - phrasing, the archaic/literary words (usually spoken by Seth), the science/medical jargon (Lilith) and the Britishisms – does it all read OK? Or are you constantly looking up random words?
    For those of you who translate; do the vulgar words and phrases I use translate suitably?
    Chapter length: too long? Too short?

    I don’t translate but I do need a dictionary when I read. There are a lot more uncommon vocabulary towards the end of S2 so I find myself breaking out immersion to search for meanings a lot more. But I don’t see that as a bad thing. I’m less observant when chapters are long and tend to forget half the comment I want to input midway but again, that’s on me.

    We had a wordless chapter this book. I hated it. Did you?
    As a reader, I liked it for its quick snapshot at how each character is doing at each end of their situation, but it gave me a lot of questions and got me a bit anxious that I might miss details if I wasn’t observant enough or if I interpreted it wrongly in my own context than what it’s supposed to be.

    As a writer who does wordless chapters/sections too though, I hate the process of making it. :lol:





  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    edited May 2021
    @Deafsimmer
    Ooh Melinda and Caleb are your favourites? Aw, they were both pretty sweet together too; hopefully they can get over everything and reconcile somehow, because they do have loads in common. I’m not surprised that Seth is your least favourite.

    Ah, interesting that you like the vampire thread more than the magic one. It’s totally fine not to like the horror. The story stays dark overall until the end, but some characters are definitely going to get a hefty dose of romance and comedy soon.
    If I were writing Almost Eternal, I'm sure it would end with Faith and Seth parting ways.
    Maybe I agree with you here. 😉

    I’m happy that it reads OK. I’m aware some chapters got huge and I will be fighting to keep them a little smaller, or split the big ones and release two a week. I haven’t decided yet, but thanks for the constructive feedback. 😊

    I love that summary!

    @ThePlumbob

    Characters
    I know you love my vamp guys, but seeing your reasoning - calling Seth ‘delightful’ and admitting you feel sorry for the major eff up that is Caleb - made my day. Also, that Lilith grew on you once she was lifted up and removed slightly out of the picture. Yay!

    Wyatt does just work with everyone. He’s so friendly and laid back. Oh, do you not like Sage? You should’ve said. 😜 Maybe that’s why Lilith has grown on you: it’s the ‘bigger butt hole’ phenomenon at work again. Book three opens with a lovely chinwag between Lilith and Sage; can’t wait to hear who comes out top on Plumbob’s list that chapter. 😁

    Yes, eighteen ‘human’ years can’t really compare to the ups and downs of three hundred vampiric ones, but we do switch the focus back to the girls more. Now you all have an inkling of where April may fit in the AE universe, we’ll be watching her a bit closer; Faith is obviously entangled with Seth’s disaster, so lots to explore there, and Melinda is also in the story.
    I guess I hope that Wyatt and April are able to at least briefly form some kind of a relationship, because that would be interesting
    They will definitely form something. Why brief?
    Maybe I'd like to see Melinda fall from grace a little bit, because that would be fun.
    Be careful what you wish for.

    What could April have been if she hadn’t become Caleb’s doll? I wonder if we’ll ever know…

    Beth? A wildcard? Expected Will to have some simpering, soft little wifey, did you? So did he. Aww! You’ll miss Ralf? You might be seeing him again. In fact, YOU definitely will. 😉

    @MonaSolstraale

    Characters
    Melinda and Lilith are coming out of this feedback quite well! I hear lots of feedback about Lilith, but not a lot about Melinda, so this is nice!
    Haha! Once I have enough dishes, Babs will be compiling a cookbook so you can try out all her horrible recipes on your nearest and dearest. 😁

    Ooh, check you out getting analytical; you made a list! I love lists! Also, I just love the way you describe them, especially: Faith/rootless, Seth/anxiety, Broof/knight. ❤

    Your hopes: something will change for Seth, but don’t hold your breath that it will be for the better. 😐 You’ll get a lot wiser on April next book and beyond. She’s our main girl and we’re finally getting back to her. Once we’ve got over the whole ‘stuck in the house’ problem. The possible family tree we have unearthed is definitely going to be the focus.

    I promised you bright and you will have your bright! Not for everyone, a few more lights do go out… but there are definitely going to be some characters living their best lives/unlives very soon! There will be laughter, smiles, love and maybe even some good decisions. 🌼

    @Maladi777
    Neat list, big chunk of text; it’s all fine by me. Thanks for feeding back!

    Ooh wow; you’re going against your love of the bad ones? That’s really exciting to me. I also tend to love the bad characters in stories because, as you say, the good ones are always ‘flawless’. I’m so happy that my ‘good’ ones are interesting enough to actually be your favourites.

    You’re not alone in that a lot of people who set out liking Seth now don’t.
    I guess he's not the type of bad boy I like
    This is really interesting… I wonder what kind of bad boy you like? A lot of people I know who like ‘bad boys’ really mean they like ‘good guys who are assertive and/or rebellious’. I loved playing with the limits of my reader’s acceptable levels of ‘bad’, taking him from ‘loveable rogue’ to what he is today and watching the fallout. I do have a few readers who, even now, after everything, would argue until they were blue about Seth’s redeeming features, so apparently they do exist. I remain neutral, of course, other than admitting that I like watching disaster, which is probably widely known by now. 😁

    Ooh, OK Faith. Another one who has fallen far from grace.
    I can't stand her anymore. I see why it is so, but I'm not enjoying reading it
    I really appreciate the honesty. Don’t feel like you have to justify or cushion your opinions. Sad to say, but younger me could relate to Faith a lot, and writing her descent has been really difficult, so I’m not surprised you don’t enjoy reading it; I doubt you’re the only one.

    Wherever the story is headed, I promise you’ll learn more about who April is.

    Wait, what you do miss Will? Hurrah!
    I also like Broof. Is it too much to ask for a more complex story for him?
    I’d say that was a very reasonable request indeed. 😉

    Ooh, interesting thoughts on disclaimers. Yeah, I figured that by this point in the story most readers would have a certain expectation of what they might encounter in AE and the disclaimers might be overkill, hence the question. But that said, I do have a pretty big trigger myself and have been caught out in other’s stories by it. Maybe I’ll do the format a little differently: have the disclaimers but hidden until you scroll over or something? Food for thought.

    Aha! You’re hoping for a cure. Lilith sacrificing herself? Caleb going insane? A war? Hehe. I can guarantee that whatever happens, it will come at a suitable price.
    Wordless chapters? Not a fan, tbh. They have their place, but in many cases writers end up explaining what happened in them anyway, so what's the point?
    Ugh I agree. People seemed to get it OK, but I don’t think I can do another wordless chapter because I need the words. Still, my goal was to push myself out of the comfort zone, grow, learn, blah blah blah. and I did it, so now I climb back into my comfy box of words and stay here forever. 😆

    Thank you! Hearing what’s going on in your head is fascinating; you’ve been quiet lately. Don’t be a stranger. 😘

    @mercuryfoam

    It’s not late. Next chapter’s not until July; loads of time for you all to change my mind and save your favourites from my wicked plans.
    A trick question? Would I?

    More love for Lilith and Chuck! They have certainly helped to slice through all the dark this season. Hey, I never claimed Seth was anything other than what he is… I just may have skewed his presentation ever so slightly at the start.

    Too relatable? Oh dear. Maybe I’ll dilute them a bit. 😉 Still feeling distant to Mel, I see. Maybe she’ll get this fall from grace that Plumbob is rooting for and you’ll like her when she’s also a mess.
    No... Not at all.. I had to erase this section five times so it stays clean.
    …Or you could’ve put just that answer over on the blog, with no explanation, and left me wondering for days what the random stream of expletives related to. 😆

    Hey, if I’m confusing you at any point just say. You’re probably not the only one thinking something so you asking might help someone else too. And it’ll definitely help me!

    Tsk, dodging the questions. I have the plot and general gist of the story already set, so I’m asking about genre for opinions more than directions. Express those opinions!

    Ooh, more disclaimer thoughts! Yeah, finding that sweet spot between telling you enough to not have people too impacted, but hiding enough to have people suitably impacted is hard. I’ll think on that, for sure.

    Wow, that’s conflicted. You want characters to make it to the end, but you don’t? Is that lack of faith in what I might be doing to them at the end, I wonder.

    More Mel flashbacks, OK. That fun bathroom scene will definitely pop up at some point, don’t worry, and all three girls have first-person reflective chapters in the pipeline, so look forward to that if you’re after a spotlight for Mellybean.

    A lot of the archaic and over-complicated wording is linked to Seth (maybe he went through a phase of draining literacy students; his head is full of that stuff 😆) and he featured heavily at the end of book 2, so maybe it’s correlation, but I’ll definitely tone it down. Having to use a dictionary to read is no fun whatsoever. Unless it the witches stuff or medical stuff that confuses you, in which case… hm. Maybe a glossary. 🤔

    Another note on long chapters. I’ll stick back below 2000 characters I think. That’ll probably mean I can update more frequently than once a week, too. Woo!
    I liked it for its quick snapshot at how each character is doing at each end of their situation
    This was its purpose so I’m glad at least that worked! I tried not to put too much ‘new’ in there, so don’t fret that you missed anything. But yeah, back to words for me. Like, I’m vague enough even with words; without them I feel like I’m floating around in some sort of fog-like haze of nothingness. I need words or my head goes crazy, as you know from the garbage I spew all over your wordless chapters. 😆
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  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 1,372 Member
    edited May 2021
    Thanks @SnuffyBucket
    I'm glad you like my weird list <3
    I have spent some time answering the questions I did not reach last.

    Story
    Which plot threads do you find most / least interesting?
    I can not answer that. If there is something that seems uninteresting, it may later turn out to have colossal significance for the further course. I always thought you're good at leaving me with new unanswered questions ... as this onion contains infinite layers.

    Have I at any point so far lost you completely or confused you?
    Everything about Seth confuses me time and time again. My resistance is constantly being put to the test. It's my eternal urge to always find a healthy core in the most rotten apple.
    The whole issue of around vampire weddings and bindings is hard to follow .... but I think it's because you have not told very much until now.

    Genres: is there too much horror? Do you really want romance? Dying for more comedy? Let me know.
    I like it all ... even though I hate the brutal descriptions. All the more I love flashing of light and love. Your underlying humor, I'm a big fan of throughout.
    I do not know if I want more romance, but the few romantic scenes nevertheless help to substantiate why these characters cling to each other.

    Is the disclaimer appropriate?
    I have nothing to complain about

    If you wrote Almost Forever, how would it end?
    Ha, ha! :lol:
    I always have a great need to find a hope and a happy outcome for even the most hopeless situation. Always! :wink:
    It does not have to be loving you forever, but a personal development and a form of spiritual self-acceptance.

    Flashbacks
    Do you like them?
    Any flashbacks that you hope to see?

    I love them.
    Sage and Lilith could be interesting. Broof and Wyatt. Melinda. Faith. Jessica ...
    I stop before I mention the whole row. Just come with them.


    Writing and in general
    Is the pace OK?

    Thoughts about language (I'm not just talking about the abundance of forbidden words from a particular vamp) - phrasing, the archaic / literary words (usually spoken by Seth), the scientific / medical jargon (Lilith) and the British - does it all read OK?
    I think that language helps to define the different characters from each other. That is really good.

    Or do you constantly look at random words?
    I do not understand the question.

    For those of you who translate; are the vulgar words and phrases I use translated appropriately?

    I often use google translate for the slightly more wordy sections. I can not comment on whether the translations are correct or appropriate. I have so far neither been outraged nor found it inappropriate ..

    Chapter length: too long? Too short?
    They have appropriate length .... even if they always end too fast :joy:

    We had a wordless chapter in this book. I hated it. Did you?
    I think the wordless chapter was really good at tying the loose ends together when you published it.
    ... and insanely frustrating because it left a thousand unanswered questions :s
    Should you have done without it? No!

    Technical
    I’ll be reviewing the website over the next few weeks, so if anything about the site, blog or how I post annoys you, talk now or be quiet forever.

    What changes? It's hard to comment on when I have no idea what you're in your thoughts. So far, I think your website is very manageable.

    Unfortunately, I do not think I can give another summary of Almost Eternal 2 than the one I gave after the first book.
    I'll be back if I get an idea ..

    AOB ... you are missing gratuitous praise!?
    I can give you three <3<3<3 (This is not a dirty word ;))

    PS: I forgot to mention
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    See who I found in Tusneldas garden the other day ... should I fear for their safety? :scream:
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  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,971 Member
    Here to answer another chunk at a snail pace. I'll get through them all eventually, I promise :lol:

    Which plot threads do you find the most/least interesting?
    I enjoy all of the prodding into the past which is probably obvious from my earlier response, all the slow hints at Seth's past and Kitty and putting that whole puzzle together. I'm very interested in the storyline with Wyatt, Sage and Broof, I definitely want to learn more about the spellcasting society and their whole deal with training (or lackthereof) and the high priestess. Caleb's debacle with getting a job and his night out with Wyatt was really entertaining.

    I also liked the chapters with Barb - her scenes with Adina and her struggle with her husband suddenly befriending this random young woman. She feels very real. And somehow I'm turning this into a character question again even though this is supposed to be about plot, oops.

    Least favourite... I don't overly care for the Melinda and April romance, mainly because I'm pretty indifferent about Melinda, she's not very relatable to me (which I guess is a compliment for her, really :lol: ). I'm neutral about Jessica's storyline - luckily that's not the case for my counterpart in AE :D

    At any point so far, have I completely lost you or confused you?
    I don't think so? There's always been a lot of unanswered questions, but aside from the intentional gaps in information that we have I don't think I ever got to a point where I questioned what I'm reading haha. I repeat that the "losing the plot" comment was only alluding to my sanity, not the story plot :wink:

    Genres: is there too much horror? Do you really want romance? Dying for more comedy? Let me know.
    Good amount of horror for me. Open to romance but I love a good trainwreck, as you know. I'm not necessarily big on comedy but you do it really well.

    Are the disclaimers suitable?
    Disclaimers are hard, you can only really gauge what would affect you personally if you were to read it, but obviously this is different for everyone and you'll never be able to fully predict that for other people. I always struggle with this.

    Whether to disclaim something that's a recurring theme is also tricky. Your regular readers will likely have a baseline, but of course there's always potential for someone randomly stumbling in and sampling a random chapter they pick up.

    Personally, I'll always think is better to do more than less. I think I have a pretty high threshold but I did get triggered once reading another simlit and that definitely affects how I feel about disclaimers. Equally, I've experienced the writer's side and being told your story has triggered someone feels pretty pants, so I reckon better safe than sorry is always the better option from both perspectives.

    I'd say keep doing what you're doing. I think you're pretty thorough without necessarily giving too much away.

    If you were writing Almost Eternal, how would it end?
    Ha. No idea. Probably in a terrible bonfire, lol. Ok, I do have some ideas but I won't advertise them here :sweat_smile: If you really want to know you know where I am :grimace:
  • SnowBnuuySnowBnuuy Posts: 1,767 Member
    edited May 2021
    Figured I'd try reading something new from an unfamiliar author, although I recognise your name from comments on _sims_yimi's story actually- but here are my thoughts on your prologue:
    I'm really impressed by the 'show not tell' in this, it's good how much you learn about Sandy by reading between the lines as well as what's written. I see Sandy did not want a kid at all, even going as far as to seemingly have the butler do most of the childcare. Wondering how this might affect the child later on, not to mention how much pressure there probably is having a famous parent as well.

    I feel like Sandy is more bothered about how she looks than how her daughter feels, in a way. Her kid has two really good friends who are good to her, but no, they're not good enough for Sandy. Not to mention how Sandy criticises her own daughter's looks- way to really mess up your kid's confidence. I honestly feel so bad for April; maybe she wouldn't have to turn to the Internet to find out how to be 'more beautiful' if her mother was there for her. I feel like if April did find a way to live forever, Sandy would be jealous of it, really bad. I feel like it'd be Sandy's dream to live forever and forever be in the limelight.

    A really impressive intro chapter, your writing style is great and your characterisation^u^
    they/them or she/her
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 1,156 Member
    edited May 2021
    @SnuffyBucket

    Whoops. I need to elaborate on a few points.
    A trick question? Would I?
    The fact that you invited me to troll you on your blog feedback section… Yes. I think you would. :tongue:

    Too relatable? Oh dear. Maybe I’ll dilute them a bit. 😉 Still feeling distant to Mel, I see. Maybe she’ll get this fall from grace that Plumbob is rooting for and you’ll like her when she’s also a mess.
    Nuu you absolute troll! :joy: You should not/may not/must not dilute your characters just because they are relatable! :joy: I may not be able to comment on these characters, but I am enjoying their representation. I also enjoy the introspection they bring and am invested in them overcoming, or not overcoming their challenges. The only fiction I read is Simlit so it’s extremely gratifying to be able to identify with certain character traits that I wouldn’t have naturally stumbled upon in my own reading preferences.

    On a related note, you’re having Mel fall from grace? Why! Let goodness prevail! Tbh, there’s a lot of muck and mud that each character, including Mel, has to waddle through and she is plenty flawed already. Only that in comparison to my perception of flaws (I mean, I’ve got characters who stomp on others for plums sake), she’s just wonderful. She and Chuck are like a nice pitstop before I ready my gears and go back into the quicksand with my nonexistent oxygen tank. (P.s. I’ve semi-exaggerated my reactions for comic relief here. If Mel goes down then so be it. :sweat_smile::)

    Ooh, more disclaimer thoughts! Yeah, finding that sweet spot between telling you enough to not have people too impacted, but hiding enough to have people suitably impacted is hard. I’ll think on that, for sure.
    I don’t want to sound like an uncompassionate bumhole so here’s a disclaimer that this is my pov, centered around my own experiences/triggers. And I’ll make my next words as personalised as possible so it’s obviously a representation of myself than anyone else.

    So, I’ve lost count to the number of times AE sent me down a rabbit hole and really, I say this with a lot of admiration and love for your story and characters and writing. There were two chapters which took me on a trip which I’ve long forgotten I ever had, and boy, did I feel like a Seth at the end of S2. :lol: One of these had no disclaimers. The thing is, I’ve went and reread that chapter today and there is really, nothing disclaimer-worthy about the second chapter, only that the scene was a mimicry of said repressed memory which I reiterate again, is really normal with nothing disclaimer.

    I don’t necessarily reach out nor explain the reason behind my comments, so don’t worry if some of this is news to you. I’m only bringing this up to emphasise that it’s great that you don’t want people to be too impacted, but even in the unwanted event that someone did, they’d understand that you’ve done your part in being respectful and the rest is up to them.

    So to actually reply to your original comment (Sorry about ramble! :lol:) I think your disclaimers are very explicit, you have a huge general disclaimer pasted over your table of contents page that is just as explicit, and being a long time reader of AE, I know what I’m getting myself into. Hence, I’m against your making a lot more disclaimers. I prefer if nothing changes, or the disclaimers be a little vaguer. I find that I feel a lot more suspense and thrill when your disclaimers are vague, like ‘toxic’, and I have to figure out on my own through the story what kind of toxicity, what level, how it manifests in the characters and how it affects them. I really hope you get a lot of feedback for this section though, because experiences are personalised. My pov is just a drop in the ocean.

    A lot of the archaic and over-complicated wording is linked to Seth (maybe he went through a phase of draining literacy students; his head is full of that stuff 😆) and he featured heavily at the end of book 2, so maybe it’s correlation, but I’ll definitely tone it down. Having to use a dictionary to read is no fun whatsoever. Unless it the witches stuff or medical stuff that confuses you, in which case… hm. Maybe a glossary. 🤔
    Again disclaimer: highly personalised opinion. Also am passionate about this so I’m about to get rambly and nerdy.

    I am totally against your toning down of Seth’s penchant for literary words, Lilith’s jargon or any other character’s self-, cultural, ethnic etc language expressions. Having a dictionary while reading is normal for me. (Heck, I use a dictionary when I write too.) There is a glass ceiling that many English as a second/third/fourth language learners (me) arrive at in their acquisition of the language because in everyday speech, there is no need to go beyond the 2k commonly used words to make one’s point. Not to mention most people are very nice and respectful and thus, when speaking to a non-Native language user may unconsciously dilute their vocabulary to ease conversation so therein picking up the language from my natural environment becomes that much more limited. Hence I appreciate the diversity of language in stories. Even better that stories provide a lot more context to how words are used. I was being truthful that it broke immersion, but it’s not overwhelming. I use dictionaries for novels anyway so this is the same. So yes to Seth being as archaic and poetic(?) as he wants! :smiley:

    p.s. - I should note that I measured proficient on the standardised international English test so what’s comfortable for me may not be comfortable to other ESL speakers. Again, hope you get lots of feedback for this.
  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,971 Member
    edited May 2021
    Flashbacks
    Do you like them?
    Love them.
    Any flashbacks you’re hoping to see?
    We still haven't seen Faith's turning, or really even all of Melinda's. I always welcome more on Seth, Lilith and Caleb. Sage must still have lots of lovely skeletons in the closet. So... basically anyone and anything. I want it all. Greeeeed.

    Writing and General
    Is the pacing OK?
    Yes :) Sometimes I need to remind myself that it's only been a few weeks since the start of Book 1, but it never felt like things are dragging.

    Thoughts on the language (I’m not just talking about the plethora of forbidden words from a certain vamp) - phrasing, the archaic/literary words (usually spoken by Seth), the science/medical jargon (Lilith) and the Britishisms – does it all read OK? Or are you constantly looking up random words?
    The only time I recall not knowing what a word meant was when Wyatt was talking about esbat water, but I can't say it bothered me that I did not know, I just sort of shrugged it off as "mysterious witchy stuff, got it" :D If anything I preferred the potion had unusual ingredients since that's exactly what you'd expect.

    I think the way Seth speaks is appropriate for a centuries old vampire in a modern world, he's doesn't express himself in a full on "ye olde" way but there's enough of a distinction between the way Faith speaks and the way he does to make it clear they are from different eras - and that's exactly how it should be. If anything, it would be more jarring/less immersive if the older vamps and the younger vamps all had the same vocabulary. As hilarious as it would be to see Seth shrug off a particularly fruitful night of hunting by saying something along the lines of YOLO.

    For those of you who translate; do the vulgar words and phrases I use translate suitably?
    I don't, but in my experience Google Translate it will never be entirely accurate, though close enough to get the general gist.

    Chapter length: too long? Too short?
    I've never read an AE chapter and thought "man, I wish this was shorter," but I've definitely had instances of getting to the end of a chapter and wanting more :) Personally I think short chapters are great when I binge read since they're great for that "just one more chapter" hook, but if I'm reading a story as it publishes in real time, I prefer longer chapters.

    That said I actually don't think it's the length of the chapter per say that matters that much, it's more about how much new information you're presenting the reader with. If a chapter is packed with heaps of brad new information that's not been hinted at in any way, it can become overwhelming to read. But that's never been the case with AE since you always drop lots of little hints and plant seeds for things to come to prep the reader whether they consciously realise it or not, so I don't think you need to worry.

    We had a wordless chapter this book. I hated it. Did you?
    I think wordless chapters can be great at capturing a mood or a feeling, obviously with this particular one you wanted us to pause for a moment in a way you couldn't have achieved in a standard chapter and I think it worked as intended. Wordless chapters or even wordless segments are totally down to personal preference though, some love them and some hate them. Personally I like seeing the writer experiment with how they convey the story, so I do like seeing wordless chapters/segments/different formats - since they can hit a different part of your brain and can enhance how you perceive the story as a whole.
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    @MonaSolstraale
    Most of the questions do eventually receive answers. The onion cannot be infinite… can it?

    Seth is a confusing one, for sure. A challenge to anyone who likes to see the good in people.
    You are in luck! I’m actually writing a scene right now that will answer all your questions about vampiric marriage and more that you probably hadn’t even thought of! 😁

    The lights shine brighter in the darkness. Oof, I think we’ve had enough ‘romance’ for a while, but I will be softening it out and adding in some actual love. 💕

    So, Mona’s AE would end in spiritual acceptance and a happy outcome. Maybe that’s my ending too.

    More flashbacks! I love me a flashback too.

    Ooh, fun you feel like my chapters are appropriate but end too fast. Would that be the cliff-hangers, perhaps? I’m glad you liked the wordless chapter, even though it frustrated you!
    ... you are missing gratuitous praise!?
    😆 Oh my word, no, I’m joking. I actually hate praise, makes me all defensive. I’d much rather you all mock me. 🤣😂

    😲 That cat looks suspiciously like Robert. I think Tusnelda is quite safe, unless she has secretly become a murderer and outcast since your last chapter… which she might have, if her second day at work was as bad as the first one. 😆

    @ThePlumbob
    Take your time. We have aaaaaages.
    Love for the witches! Woo! Broof and Wyatt will be settling into main roles in book three, so you’ll get plenty of chance to learn the ins and outs of the cult coven.

    Eh, crossover is fine. The characters pretty much are the plot. When you look at the events, what has actually really happened in the story so far? A girl got turned vampire and over the course of a month there was some hotel hopping and murder and now she’s stuck in a house and her friend ran off with a madman. That’s about it. Yawn.

    You can’t like them all, even I don’t like them all. Maybe you’ll be more invested in the April/Melinda bit when Melinda has her fall from grace that you have willed into existence. Can it even be called romance? Probably not.
    I don't think I ever got to a point where I questioned what I'm reading
    Really? Because I’ve had plenty of times where I’ve questioned what I’m writing. 😆

    Yeahhhh, embrace the horror with me, Plumbob. 😈 Wait… you’re not big on comedy? But you’re hilarious! Your comments crack me up!
    Whether to disclaim something that's a recurring theme is also tricky. Your regular readers will likely have a baseline, but of course there's always potential for someone randomly stumbling in and sampling a random chapter they pick up.
    THIS.
    This is what prompted the question: I had someone go straight to a chapter having seen a link somewhere else, so had bypassed any build-up and earlier disclaimers and the general one on the index. The one they clicked on was a light-hearted chapter talking about vampire babies and fun times messing up a potion. They liked that, clicked next which of course was the stinking, rotten Seth/Faith bedroom chapter. 🤦‍♀‍

    A TERRIBLE BONFIRE. Is that how BC will end? 😉
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  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    @Snowbnuuy
    I’m unfamiliar to you, but you’re not unfamiliar to me. Wow, that sounds stalkery, I meant that I’ve read some of your stuff. Oh dear, so your current opinion of me is based solely on the brain fart nonsense I leave over on @_sims_Yimi ‘s blog and now this creepy comment. 😆
    Sandy definitely did not want a child, no. Especially a female one and it definitely leaves its mark on our girl, April. But hey, Sandy is a busy woman. Maybe she won’t have time to be that jealous…
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  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    @Mercuryfoam
    Ooh, round 2! Spoiling me! 😘
    Love and merciless trolling are interlinked in my brain. If someone is being too nice to me I get hella suspicious.

    LOL. I definitely won’t be diluting my characters, don’t worry. When I slap the 😉 emoji on something, assume that I’m not being serious. Assuming I’m not being serious is generally a good rule for most of what I type. And Melinda’s plan for the remainder of the story is set in stone, so Plumbob’s wishful thinking isn’t going to change that (she may have predicted it, though). Yeah, for all the poop going on over here, at least nobody is stamping on any open wounds… not physically anyway.
    I don’t want to sound like an uncompassionate bumhole
    Is there such thing as a compassionate bumhole?

    Aw, darn. I know I’ve tripped you up a few times and I don’t even know when or I’d have a ‘Mercury’ disclaimer for you. But yeah, I know I’m not going to be able to accommodate for everyone’s triggers in this bottomless cesspool. I did overlook one (or rather, stopped pointing it out and then tripped up someone who stumbled in randomly) that prompted this whole question. What a minefield.

    Ooh, I love it when you get all nerdy! Don’t tone down Seth, got it. Just as well because he’s probably got a few choice words for his newly recovered memories. 😆

    @ThePlumbob
    Right, more flashbacks are definitely being written in then. I love them, so I’m glad this feeling is shared with you lot.
    Faith’s turning is a doozy of a scene. It was cut from early book one and I’m still trying to find the right place to put it. It will come though; it has crucial information. I guarantee Lilith and Sage flashback chapters in book three. Seth and Caleb you’ll have a tiny wait for, although you will get more mini flashes from both. So much flashing; I don’t know whether that should be a strobe warning or a nudity one.

    There is a time jump at some point. I don’t know when but there will be one. As long as it’s not dragging, that’ll do for me.

    Yeah, don’t worry too much about the witchy terms, if it’s crucial I’ll get the character to explain.

    Oh my god. Now I want to do a vocab swap scene. Swap Faith and Melinda for sure, get Melinda spewing out obscenities and wondering what’s happened while Faith desperately tries to say one. Swap April and Seth, just to hear him gush about everything being super nice! Can you imagine Lilith talking like Wyatt? No, Snuffy. You’re already busy enough. Shush.

    Greedy about flashbacks and chapter length! It’s good to know that you like the longer chapters. 2200-2500 feels good to me, I think I’ll stick there but I’m sure I’ll smash this target to bits with the flashbacks as per usual. (Seth’s flashback clocked in at 6300 and covered merely one day and a bonus bit from his 355 years. 😵)
    ...since they can hit a different part of your brain and can enhance how you perceive the story as a whole.
    Ooh that’s a fancy way of putting it. Is this a hint of things to come in BC? 🔎



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  • SnowBnuuySnowBnuuy Posts: 1,767 Member
    @SnuffyBucket Don't worry, my comment to you sounded more stalkery! Mutual stalking, yay! And thank you for reading my stuff it's appreciate /u\ Once I'm caught up with my current stuff I'll have to find time to read some more of this!
    they/them or she/her
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    Hello to all of you long-suffering souls.

    Not a chapter, just a notice that I've finally collated all the bonus stuff on the site and added bloopers and some new fun stuff, if you've nothing better to do today.

    I'm also taking questions for the next Q&A! But as always in AE; be careful what you ask for... you may just get it. ;)
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  • MonaSolstraaleMonaSolstraale Posts: 1,372 Member
    @SnuffyBucket I love the fun stuffs and all the quirky spoilers :lol:
    Thank you so much for sharing my banner :kissing_heart:
    NB: Do you still need wizards?
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    @MonaSolstraale
    @SnuffyBucket I love the fun stuffs and all the quirky spoilers :lol:
    Thank you so much for sharing my banner :kissing_heart:
    NB: Do you still need wizards?
    I do need wizards! Is yours ready to make the perilous journey to my game?

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  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member


    Finally got around to creating a proper character page. They have star signs and everything.

    I swear, I am working on book three and not just making random stuff. 😆

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  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 569 Member
    edited June 2021
    "Vampire hunting is an art, you know. It takes time."

    Although not as much time as writing about it does. Happy Friday!

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  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 1,747 Member
    edited June 2021
    Welcome back! 😁 <3 Ooooh and you have a new banner in your siggy, too! Sandy looks so ominous there. 😧
    Post edited by _sims_Yimi on
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    Hosting D&D sessions on the side. Interested in playing through some fantasy-themed shenanigans? Send me a message 😘
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