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Almost Eternal - Some Sort of Story - Updated 14th August

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Almost Eternal
April has always lived in her famous mother's shadow.
Will she find the light she is looking for or will she just end up somewhere darker?


This is a plot-based story (honestly, there is a plot) about vampires, fame and teenagers.
Genre: Tragicomedy seems to be the general consensus.

All feedback is very welcome indeed, good and bad.

This story contains bad language, mature themes and clueless teenagers all mixed in with an unhealthy dose of dark humour.


Prologue - Almost Eternal / Chapter 01 - It's My Party / Chapter 02 - Champagne and Something / Chapter 03 - To Start a Fire / Chapter 04 - Should Know Better / Chapter 05 - A Falseness Too Far / Chapter 06 - Gone So Wrong / Chapter 07 - Forbidden Trousers / Chapter 08 - Mixed Signals / Chapter 09 - Midnight Snack / Chapter 10 - New Kind of Empty / Chapter 11 - Nothing Scares Me / Chapter 12 - Dining In The Gutter / Chapter 13 - Years Of Silence / Chapter 14 - Out Of Control / Chapter 15 - Real Drinks / Chapter 16 - Vampiric Allure / Chapter 17 - The Face Of A Monster / Chapter 18 - Stupid Girl / Chapter 19 - Dead In The Woods / Chapter 20 - Five More Minutes / Chapter 21 - Can't Compel A Cow
Post edited by SnuffyBucket at

Comments

  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,369 Member
    Yay, I'm glad you made a thread - makes it much easier to follow updates for me :) I'm up to date for now but have bookmarked this, can't wait to see where you take Sandy and April!
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 866 Member
    Oooh, I like this. Very strong prologue. Your writing is great - you had my attention from the very first line. Bookmarked! :smiley:
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    Oh I see familiar faces. :# *waves at everyone*

    I'm only at the prologue but woah I'm loving the cast and story already (Including Sandy. She gives me Mother Gothel vibes! I'm definitely following. Such great writing too! A little busy this week but when I have a moment I'll be binge reading for sure.
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    Wow, I'm really quite floored by the feedback so far, thank you for taking the time to comment. This is my first attempt at writing so I was totally prepared to be humiliated and now I don't know how to react, haha.
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 866 Member
    Is this your first sim story, or your first story in general? If it's the latter, that's really really impressive! Don't worry, there's no humiliation on these forums (that I know of, at least). Only reader's comments and constructive criticism for those that want it.
    Also, I'm going to call you Snuffy, because it sounds adorable. :#
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    @_sims_Yimi This is my first story ever. Well, the first one that's ever made it out of my head.
    Ooh, I welcome constructive criticism. Or just criticism if anyone is feeling a bit 'Sandy' :D
  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,369 Member
    Sounds like you've been sitting on some good stories then, if they haven't made it out of your head 😊 Either way, don't worry, amazing start, and welcome to the community!
  • amp107amp107 Posts: 104 Member
    I'm so happy I stumbled upon your thread! I've only read the prologue so far, but can't wait to read the rest when I have time. Great writing!
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    Ah geez chapter 2 had me rolling! I just have to express it here :D I loved that.
    You go April, girlfriend! Looks like for all of Sandy's nastiness, she's given you heaps of equally scathing comebacks to work with there.

    Kay I'm composed now. Cheers.
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    Chapters 5 & 6 are now live.
    From now on I'll be endeavouring to post new chapters each Monday and Friday. And maybe Wednesday, depending on how much of a cliffhanger I've left you on... o:)
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    Ah geez chapter 2 had me rolling! I just have to express it here :D I loved that.

    Kay I'm composed now. Cheers.

    If it's the line I think it is... :D I still can't read it without cracking up. I'm so immature.
  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,369 Member
    edited July 12
    Chapters 5 & 6
    Ah, I didn't expect for him to turn her. Weirly when they found her unconscious I didn't even think he drank from her, I figured he used some kind of vampirical powers to render her unconscious so that she's stop bugging him and to avoid being exposed - but I guess he wasn't that worried about being discrete in the end, lol! I liked the way you depicted the transition, with the food tasting like ash.

    I suppose you could say April's investigation into vampires has been pretty successful, haha, even though she ended up getting more than she bargained for. Definitely curious what she will do with her newfound powers, and if Caleb will return to show her the ways of her new life (unlife?), or if he'll leave her to figure it out on her own.

    I knew Sandy would take a liking to Caleb haha. I am weirdly hoping that she will manage to find a new surgeon 😆 A part of me just can't help but root for her!
    Post edited by ThePlumbob on
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    ThePlumbob wrote: »
    Chapters 5 & 6
    I can't really say much at this point... but I enjoy the way you're thinking. Rooting for Sandy, eh? Interesting. ;)

  • ThePlumbobThePlumbob Posts: 4,369 Member
    Lol that chapter title!
    Melinda is far too nice and easy going for her own good. I know April is her friend, but most people would definitely freak out seeing April's lack of reflexion - I liked that screenshot a lot btw, nice way to demonstrate that she's serious, though apparently not enough to deter Melinda. If that was me I'd be out of there.
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member

    @ThePlumbob
    You and me both! But Melinda... I'm sure she has her reasons. ;)

  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    I keep forgetting to comment about Travis so I'll do it here.
    He never did have a spine but omg.. the guy needs to visit Vatore for one (I'm sure its possible! It's sims!) He needs it desperately. :astonished: Can't have Sandy magicking his manhood away like that. Poor dude! And poor April too because what kind of healthy male role model can Travis be? No wonder April goes for entitled rich boys and walking dead men. (Saying it with all my love of course.
    Vamps are cool, except 'non-consensual' ones :joy: )
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member

    For anyone who still hasn't lost the will to live reading this garbage, chapter eight is now live!
    Chapter 08 - Mixed Signals
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    I got all excited like Yay I caught up at the right time but realised I read it already. Okay. Sobs.
    I really like this April, Melinda, Faith dynamic. They're friends, but my! Aren't their friendship complicated. Though Faith is not wrong in her deductions though she could be more understanding about it. I do like her fiery personality. April could use some of that, and Faith definitely could use some of April's demureness if she doesn't want to intimidate men. I just realised your Avatar is Faith! Ah man I wonder what she's looking at. That's a fun expression!
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member

    @mercuryfoam
    What do you mean she doesn't have a healthy male role model? She has Broof and his lovely beard :D
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    @SnuffyBucket
    Who needs personality when we got a rockin beard ayy? ;)
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member

    @mercuryfoam
    Are you a ninja Foamy 'cause your responses are fast! When I type I'm like an old man with a lot of locked doors; you gotta give me a while to figure out which keys I'm looking for.
    Faith is my favourite. She's like me in sim form if I was the opposite of who I actually am.

    Also the fact you said you were excited about something I wrote made me pee a little bit. Don't know why I said that.
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 634 Member
    Heyy I was typing this up in your blog but I think it's better written here.
    I like feedback but it's not essential, I'm gonna keep writing anyway even if it's absolute 🌺🌺🌺🌺.

    Hmm, I've booted up on my laptop as the pics look OK on my phone and yes, they are kinda tiny. If you poke them they get bigger but I will definitely have a play and see if I can improve that.

    Your writing is not 🌺🌺🌺🌺 lol. Have you seen my first few chapters? Mine's the real brown stuff when I first started writing simLit (Prologue and Ch 1.1 are rewrites so they don't count.) My Ch 1.2- Ch 5 is a mess. I think my writing has upgraded to rainbow poop now at least. I'm not the best person to give you feedback but seriously you have nothing to worry about. Your writing and story is engaging. It takes time to get noticed because lots of stories begin but stop fairly quickly. Another thing is getting your name out there. y'know. like and comment on other people's stories and make your presence known. they'll come to yours out of curiosity since the community is pretty small and everyone knows each other so they'll be wondering who's the newbie.

    If the pic size works for you then don't worry about it. I like huge pics. Maybe get Plumbob to take a look. it might be my screen resolution.
  • SnuffyBucketSnuffyBucket Posts: 118 Member
    Heyy I was typing this up in your blog but I think it's better written here.
    I like feedback but it's not essential, I'm gonna keep writing anyway even if it's absolute 🌺🌺🌺🌺.

    Hmm, I've booted up on my laptop as the pics look OK on my phone and yes, they are kinda tiny. If you poke them they get bigger but I will definitely have a play and see if I can improve that.

    Your writing is not 🌺🌺🌺🌺 lol. Have you seen my first few chapters? Mine's the real brown stuff when I first started writing simLit (Prologue and Ch 1.1 are rewrites so they don't count.) My Ch 1.2- Ch 5 is a mess. I think my writing has upgraded to rainbow poop now at least. I'm not the best person to give you feedback but seriously you have nothing to worry about. Your writing and story is engaging. It takes time to get noticed because lots of stories begin but stop fairly quickly. Another thing is getting your name out there. y'know. like and comment on other people's stories and make your presence known. they'll come to yours out of curiosity since the community is pretty small and everyone knows each other so they'll be wondering who's the newbie.

    If the pic size works for you then don't worry about it. I like huge pics. Maybe get Plumbob to take a look. it might be my screen resolution.

    @mercuryfoam I really do appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback, thank you. I've read your prologue and I enjoyed it; I have you flagged for a binge read next time I have a bath. And then you'll probably have to endure more nonsensical comments on your blog, lucky you. :D

    You know, I actually don't mind so much if my audience is small, this is the first story to leave my head after all, it's already far surpassing the audience of the others. But l will take your advice about posting around if only to 'meet' other writer people and find stories.

    Pictures look much better on my wordpress blog. In fact it all looks better, but it took me 4 hours just to put my prologue on there and by the time I got to chapter 01 I was so bored that I went and had a beer instead.

    Anyway, thanks again. :smile:



  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 866 Member
    I'm having a blast reading this! :mrgreen:
    One thing I noticed - if you click on your forum link for chapter 2, the link leads you to an error that says the blog page doesn't exist.
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