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TS4 Story - Tales of Camelot


  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    I'm reading 1.1.
    Gawain is super endearing. 💕 I hope he does become a knight. I love that Morgana pleaded for him, but Arthur got in the way. :( I did have to laugh when he came in all worried about his hair. Priorities, right?

    Oh no, but who is the mysterious man at the end watching Morgana? This doesn't bode well...
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    @Duvelina Thank you for reading! I feel super protective over Gawain, even though he's just a bunch of pixels. Sometimes you just have a darling in the group, you know? And Gawain is it. Sorry, Arthur. :D

    @ThePlumbob The idea is to follow it loosely, giving my own spin on certain events. Of course, there are multiple versions throughout history of the King Arthur legend, and which one it is I'm following, I won't tell :smiley:
  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    I like how Morgana and Arthur are coming together to play this courtly diplomatic game. I hope we'll get to see more of that. These deceptive kind of games are always so fun.

    When I started reading the sword training scene, I really hoped Arthur was going to take it seriously but he made poor Gawain feel so bad! He didn't even teach him anything. What did he expect? Some training is at least necessary to be able to fight in general.

    Oh, Morgana has some kind of power that no one can know about. That will come back to haunt her for sure if she can't control it! I'm glad Merlin's advice seemed to help her. I feel so sad for her though, losing all of her friends in some way.
  • ajamkeevinajamkeevin Posts: 184 Member
    edited June 14
    All caught up! I just HAD to take some time today to binge it :lol:

    Some thoughts!
    I really love that we've had some nice character development in just five parts. Morgana has remained pretty constant throughout (and this isn't a surprise because she's the main character), but I like that you've taken the time to flesh out other characters and give them depth. Arthur seemed to me like he might have been inherently cruel, so I was pleased to see that he wasn't. I also enjoyed seeing you humanize Uther a little by having him recount he and Ygraine's story, whilst still painting him as mostly unsympathetic (at least for me—I tend to dislike people in power who are motivated by revenge, in this case, Uther's need to eradicate sorcerers).

    The way you write the action segments is exciting. I'm telling you, I gasped when it seemed like Gawain was going to die, and breathed out a sigh of relief when he didn't. Also, the scene where Arthur is poisoned was great. I didn't expect the poisoning to happen and I love how you took his arrogance/greediness (with the sweets haha) and made it instantly a bad thing because he took a piece of the honey cake that was meant only for the King and ended up being poisoned AND cursed. Yikes! Great storytelling.

    I'm really looking forward to diving deeper into the mysteries you've presented! The assailant, Richard, and where Merlin is are the ones that stick out to me. I'll be looking out for updates and I cannot wait to discuss the story in the Reading Circle when your turn comes because I have a LOT of thoughts.

    Also, and I've mentioned this in the comment section of your blog, but the screenshots are a really big highlight for me. The world building that you've done is fantastic. The details in every screenshot are perfect. I'm a very visual person, so seeing the story come alive so beautifully with your images is just... *chef's kiss* haha. I love this story, fantastic job!

  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    I love intrigue and political games too, so the scenes here as well as those in the next chapter were a lot of fun to write. :blush: If it's up to me, we're definitely having more of that in the future!
    Morgana has had a rough childhood so far, that's for sure. But so have most of the kids in Camelot. I hope I'm not portraying them as too mature, and there's still some kid in there :sweat_smile:

    Aaaaah, I'm just over the moon with your compliments :love: character development is my bread and butter, but it's also difficult, so I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I'd give you spoilers about Richard, Merlin and the assailant, but - well, they're spoilers. They'll absolutely make another appearance, though!
    And oh, dear. Now I'm even more excited for the coming weeks in freezer bunny circle :smiley:
  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    No, I actually think you're doing such a good job. It's refreshing to see kids in an entirely different way than most people would write them. They do have a maturity to them but I feel like that's normal with the way their lives are going. I'm a big fan!
  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 6,342 Member
    edited June 15
    Bookmarked and following. Camelot awaits. :smiley:
  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    I like that you put a trigger warning at the top of the page. Violence doesn't bother me, but it's good that you think of your readers. Morgana looked positively radiant in her yellow dress and with her hair in that braid. Beautiful look!
    Aw, my heart broke for the silent Gawain parts in the middle. He looks so sad. I hope things get better for him soon.
    I'm interested in prince Richard. Can't wait to see more of his personality. He's a hard one to decipher.
    Oh no, what is happening to Morgana? I wonder where that cloaked man is taking her. And he said some sort of magical word to make her lose her consciousness.
    Gawain! The brave but foolish boy... I was so scared for him there. Luckily, the guards were right on time. I half expected Morgana to wake up and use her power to strike down the kidnapper.
    I knew Arthur had some good in him. It's good to see him show up at Gawain's bedside and apologise, like he should.

    Great chapter. I wonder what's going to happen next with the kidnapper. This probably won't be the last we see of him.
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    @AdamsEve1231 Thank you for following! I hope you'll enjoy the ride :smiley:
    Indeed he did! That was very much a magic spell. You'll be seeing more of him... eventually.
    Arthur is a spoiled, insensitive brat, but luckily he's not an actual bad kid. He still needs some serious lessons in common decency, though. :sweat_smile:
    Thank you for the comment! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.

    A new chapter for this week, for the ones waiting for it :smile: We're swamped at work, so it's a little shorter than normal. I hope you enjoy!
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 583 Member
    Just finished reading new chapter.
    II have to admit that for some reason, Arthur's face looks smaller. Is that intentional?

    You've made an excellent decision by demonstrating the frighting lessons the way you did. Honor and fighting fair is for tournaments, not actual battlefield. Arthur is doing Gawain a big favor by teaching him to survive in battle.

    I had a small chuckle at the way Gawain managed to get one up on Arthur. He needs to learn a few things himself.

    Nice, relatively light-hearted chapter overall. Well done.
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 504 Member
    Amg! I absolutely adore this chapter!!! <3 So sad to hear you're swamped with work. Hopefully the freezer bunnies are helping you relax with their cuteness overload. :smiley:
    I bet the guards are taking bets as they watch the sparring match. And I love that Arthur actually cleared time in his schedule for Gawain and held to his promise. It's so easy for people to mean well, then lax in their promises. Well, he is getting something out of it. Must be very lonely if the only trustable companionship is his sister. Morgana is great but most men need that brotherhood camaraderie.

    Ohh I just realised it MAY be possible that while Arthur learns humility, Gawain will learn to think more critically about others! Ah but Gawain is such a dear I don't want him to grow up so soon.

    Omg I intended this to be short since I already commented on your blog. Can you see how much I like kids. Ok hopefully this only appears long since Im writing on my phone. :joy::bawling:
  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    Oh no, Arthur is coughing up blood! The honey cake must have been poisoned. It was probably meant for the king... I hope he's not dying, I was starting to like him. 🙁
    I guess my prediction was right about the poison. I'm commenting as I read which is why there might be things in here that will be addressed later on in the chapter.
    You do a very good job of making characters who are so unlikable have a likable side and understandable motivations. I feel bad for Uther now where I just felt indifference before.
    I had no idea who Millicent was before. It's sad that Uther condemned her to death while she was the one person that could save Arthur. I also feel bad for Gaius. It must be hard for him too, to not be able to do anything.
    I'm so happy Morgana managed to save Arthur! I just hope it doesn't come back to haunt her in unexpected ways.
    I'm glad there's someone who knows her secret now. Gaius seems like a good person and he also kept Millicent's secret. I do hope Morgana won't end up like her.
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    @ArcherDK Thank you for reading!
    Hmm, maybe? I'm experimenting with CC eyes, and maybe they're making his face look slightly different. I changed nothing to his actual face, though.
    It seems to be a pretty common misconception that sword fights were honourable by default. They absolutely weren't. In fact, deception and feinting was seen as a very valuable skill alongside the actual sword techniques. I practiced martial arts for a short time in the past, and they teach you to look for your opponent tricking you there, too.
    I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully I'll have a little more time for the next one. Half our logistics department is down, and they're having upstairs pitch in with shipments. I am NOT built for lugging boxes around. :sweat_smile:

    @mercuryfoam The freezer bunnies are definitely helping! Darn, now I wish there was real-life freezer bunny ice cream.
    Child-arthur is a spoiled brat, but if there's one thing he's been taught well, it is to keep your promises :blush: I actually really value that trait in real people, too. A person's word being their bond, and all. Breaking promises and cheating are probably the only things that genuinely anger me. :D
    Haha, don't worry! I love your comments, long and short. :)

    Thank you so much! I was really nervous about how to portray Uther as more than just a boogeyman, but not make him so relatable that people forget he's a bad guy.
    I hope Morgana doesn't end up on the pyre, too :sweat_smile: honestly would not want to trade places with any of them, period.
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    I made a new banner! :blush:
    Also, new chapter here. I meant to post it yesterday evening, but my body decided it hated its last meal. Stomach bugs are the worst. :cold_sweat:
    Hope everyone is doing okay!
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 583 Member
    What an awesome chapter.
    I love how the whole chapter starts lighthearted. The mess at the kitchen, Sarah's PERFECT expression, "demon-summoning". Everything was rather hilarious. Well except for the spy moment.

    Ant hen it turns rater introspective and serious. I absolutely loved the chapel conversation. Arthur really needs to realize that all those commoners and servants are not beneath him, that he as a future king is responsible and duty-bound to serve them. A good king always serves his people, after all.

    I also like the whole "Honestly" aspect. More specifically, that breaking a word is a taboo. Yet it is also great that importance of lying is not diminished. Sure, it is a sin in eyes of the Watcher, but in world of men it's a different story. The intrigue, the deception.

    At any rate - loved the chapter.
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 504 Member
    edited June 21

    I really, really think I'm not doing you justice by not using your latest banner. It's so pretty and it clearly depicts what kind of story you're writing. Can I have permission to crop it? I've tried shrinking but it doesn't look nice. That would mean the adults are cropped out though, but at least the main players are in. :D

    Ok. Can I just say that I have no patience for when they become of age and have decided that I am

    UGH stomach bugs are the worst! Hope you're feeling better. :neutral: Take lots of fluids, nothing diuretic or alcoholic or hard to process foods. Rest yourself and your tummy. :smile:
  • ncisGibbs02ncisGibbs02 Posts: 723 Member
    _sims_Yimi wrote: »
    I made a new banner! :blush:
    Also, new chapter here. I meant to post it yesterday evening, but my body decided it hated its last meal. Stomach bugs are the worst. :cold_sweat:
    Hope everyone is doing okay!

    Your story is great. Can’t wait for the next chapter! 🎉🥳

  • SkeilahSkeilah Posts: 532 Member
  • DuvelinaDuvelina Posts: 724 Member
    Love the banner! Hope you're doing better now. 😊
  • _sims_Yimi_sims_Yimi Posts: 736 Member
    Thank you so much! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. What did you think of the length? I was in doubt on whether I should add Gawain's scene at the end or not, since it was getting a bit long. But if I left out, the chapter would miss a story beat at the end, for lack of a better term. Should I try to keep chapters a bit shorter in the future, or are they okay even if they are a bit long?

    Uther: What you you MEAN, I'm not a main player?! I'm the King of Camelot! The most important person in the Kingdom! I even have a character bio on the cast page! I absolutely forbid her from cutting-"
    Zip it, kingey. You're getting cropped. :D
    Oh gods, we have our first ship :D:D:D

    Thanks! I'm feeling a bit better now. Sleep helps a lot too, haha.

    @ncisGibbs02 I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully the next one will entertain you, too :smiley:

    @Skeilah @Duvelina Thank you! Getting Uther to pose properly was a real pain. He kept walking away and making goofy faces because he was in a playful mood :D
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 583 Member
    @_sims_Yimi Not sure I'm qualified to answer that question but...
    I'd say that chapel and Gawain parts can be easily separated into their own chapter. That would also serve to separate the mood, since Arthur failing and everything else have very different tone. But It's just my opinion. It's more important to make a good story. It works fine as it is :-) Short length would also help reader to pick up from where they have stopped. But then again - who am I to tell this. It's not like MY chapters are short or avoid mood swings. :-)
  • SimmerOfAgesSimmerOfAges Posts: 95 Member
    My gallery ID is brynnasaurous

    Legacy Challenge!
    I'm also starting my Bachelor Challenge soon!
  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 6,342 Member
    Holy cannoli! Read the Prologue yesterday. Left a comment over there today but what an epic start! I'm looking forward to this read.
  • lone_catlone_cat Posts: 236 Member
    I loved this chapter! :)
    Gawain and Arthur are too cute. I love their little bromance that's developing (don't know if it will become something more later, but either way, I love the interactions between them).
    I'm also wondering why Morgana wants a spy. My bets on something with spellcasters, and finding Merlin. I also am speculating what will happen with her as she gets older. Most Arthurian stories that I've seen or read, make her out to be the villain, but it would be nice to see her as something other than a villain. If you go the villain route, that's okay too. You don't have to answer any of my questions; they are just speculation. :)
    I love all three of the kid's perspectives; they balance each other out nicely.
  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 6,342 Member
    I wish it wasn't so late. I'd read more. But your chapters are packed with worldbuilding and character building and intrigue. I'm loving it!
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