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Tales of Camelot - 3.62: A True Knight - Updated 01-08-2023
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There won't be a chapter next weekend, as I'll be out of town. The plan is to have it finished before the end of the month, though 🙂 See you guys then and take care!
That sounds all wrong, but whatever. 😆
Hi, guys! It's Tuesday and all my flowers are blooming, yay! We have D&D this weekend but I'm going to try and post a chapter anyway. It's about halfway done at this point. 😊 Almost there. Aaaaaaalmost...
*knocks on door*
Just here to view the flowers really. Blooming. Cough. Flowers. 👀😆
Woo! I managed to finish this and D&D prep both. If you don't hear from me after this weekend, it's because my players lynched me for throwing a sentient squirrel with a mean streak at them. It makes sense in context, I swear.
Also this!
Also, because it was such a ridiculous writing spree, the next one is almost written, as well. They are a paired set, so expect the next one very soon. Take care, everyone.
Cottage Living comes out next Friday. As luck has it, I have a long weekend, woo! I think I’m going to remove my mods folder for a bit and just play the game for a change. Nothing huge, just for a weekend or so, to play around with the new pack. I was thinking of grabbing two of the main cast and giving them a crash-course in farm simulator. Maybe post some screenshots.
Who would be the most fun?
- Arthur and Guinevere
- Morgause and Lincoln
- Morgana and Gawain
- Sarah and Agravaine
- Richard and Cenred
- Lionel and Agravaine
- Basically anyone and Agravaine oh my gods I suddenly want to see him getting purse-slapped by Agnes Crumplebottom so bad. 🤣
Definitely Arthur and Gwen ;o; or Morgana and Gawain!
Also, here you go! Sorry for the delay, guys. The roller coaster is up and running once again. Have fun, and don't forget to fasten your seatbelt.
“A quaint little village! This will not even be a challenge.”
“Ugh. Why did you drag me along in old man hobo clothes?”
Because you are an old man, and most of my readers hate you both.
“That’s not my fault.”
Sure, Aggro. Sure. Wait, what do you mean by “challenge?”
“Wooing the fair maidens of Henford-on-Bagley, of course! Have you seen my physical features in modern-day attire? I look like a model! Look at these beautiful, muscly arms! Look at that strong jawline! Like it was chiselled from the finest marble by a master stoneworker. No- by the gods themselves! Pure perfection, I say - one smouldering look from me and the town’s fair maidens will be falling over themselves to swoon at my feet.”
Lionel, we’re not here to flirt-
…
…Hm.
You know what? Sure. I wholeheartedly agree with you, Lionel. We are definitely here to flirt.
“Of course you would. I see that my rugged, masculine charms are working even on you, Watcher.”
Yeah, sure. Definitely. Go ahead and give it your best shot.
After all, who can say no to that face?
Lionel tried his luck at the Gnome’s Arms first-
“They should be calling it Lionel’s Arms instead. Because all the maidens in Henford will be falling into them in their passion before too long. You’ll see.”
Sure, Lionel. Let’s see how far you can get.
“Hail, fair maiden! Your exotic beauty is worthy of the finest-“
“I’ll stop you right there, sugar. See this ring? I am very married.”
“Ah, but surely you can belong to someone much more worthy of your enchanting self! Me, specifically! I am a future Duke, I’ll have you know. And the finest lover that a maiden could ask for. Please accept this rose as a token of my affection, although it pales in comparison to your-”
“…Dude. Do you know what married means?”
No luck at the Gnome’s Arms, huh, Lionel?
“No matter! She was obviously born from low stock, anyway. I can do much better.
… Did you just-
“A-ha! I see a new target for my irresistible wiles!”
“Greetings, fair maiden! Care for a strong arm to handle those melons?”
“Bugger off.”
I have to hand it to him – he recovers from rejection remarkably quickly.
“Ah! An exotic beauty from a faraway land!”
Sulani, from the Island Living pack. Hold on, I think her name is-
“I do not care, Watcher. Hello, fair maiden! You are like a beautiful pearl in an oyster of mediocrity. The fairest in all the village!”
“Oh, aren’t you a peach? I would keep my voice down, dear.”
“Why? Do you think other suitors would take up the challenge? I will defeat them all in your honour, my beautiful pearl.”
“No. But she will hear you.”
“She? Who is-”
It is at this moment that the Watcher’s tiny smirk turns into all-out, unashamed glee.
“Ah, is this the ‘she’ that you mentioned, my pearl? Good day, my lady, and may I just say that-“
“You will keep your mouth shut, young man. I’ve seen you slithering about, offering roses and spouting inappropriate lines at the hardworking people of this village. Revolting is what it is! Have you not been raised with any manners?!”
“Excuse me? I will flirt with who I please-”
“Shame on you! You unwashed, uncooth rake!”
“How DARE you hit me! Uncooth?! UNCOOTH?! I am Lionel Gaunness, future Duke and confidant to the Prince of Camelot! I am practically royalty! I will not be talked to in such a manner! I will teach you some manners, you miserable old crone!”
Naturally, this happened.
Those who read my story know that Lionel has the fighting prowess of a paper bag. Or maybe Agnes is just ridiculously strong. Or maybe both. Either way, the fight was very, very short.
“Ow. Ow. Ow.”
Poor Lionel took a direct hit to the head. Probably from her brick-filled handbag.
“Nobody… tell… Arth…”
Woops. Better luck next time, Lionel. Better luck next time.
@SnowBnuuy
"...and that's the deal! Come spring, we'll schedule a 'love day special dating sim' bonus chapter for both of-"
"No."
"Forget it."
Oh, well. I tried. 😂