Parenthood is the last EP I don't have. Should I? «12...Next Go

Nushnushganay

I've been saying I would never buy it. I think parenting in the game is just fine the way it is, and the description makes me cringe at all the micromanaging and the depiction of kids as tabula rasa, putty in parental hands, and parents as permanently shaping them for better or worse in ways that are way out of line with reality as genetics is proving to have far more impact than was ever believed in the era of "blame everything on the parents." Sure, how you raise a kid matters, like you can screw them up by being horrible to them. But if you're not horrible, if you love them and attend their needs...you don't have to BREATHE for them! Or do their homework or "play" with them or any of that, and how honest and hardworking and reliable and cheerful they turn out to be? That's not in your hands anyway. In other words, as a parent you can mar a kid, but you can't turn a terrier into a mastiff or vice versa. You can only have a happy, well-adjusted, or a cringing, snapping, terrier or mastiff.

And contrary to popular myth, kids do NOT need parents to pretend to be other kids, and "play" with them. They have other kids for that, and other kids do it better anyway. Unless a parent has the childish trait, I hope that can be safely skipped because I consider it a big load of BS that has made parenting unnecessarily difficult for an entire generation. They need parents to be good adults, don't need them to be good playmates.

So I'm dreading getting this pack.
What if I hate it? What if it turns family life into an unendurable grind in my game!?

Can I remove it if I hate it?!

I really REALLY do not want to spend my time jumping through needless hoops overparenting, even if I remotely believed in it, which I don't.

So can anyone tell me it's not like that? What's it really like, because the trailer has me going NOPE NOPE NOPE!

Sigzy05

I like it a lot but I consider myself a family player. It is a bit chory at times but you can avoid it for the most part.

Mariefoxprice83

It's one of my favourites. The phases are the only thing I dislike.

DaWaterRat

It is completely possible to have a parent hardly interact with the kid and the kid still max Responsibility. Manners goes up easily too. Empathy and Conflict Resolution are the ones you generally have to work at.

The intrusive/play changing elements (from my experience)
- Phases For the most part the phases don't interfere too much, but you'll end up with kids getting leftovers and feeling sad (because they're picky eaters) or empathy and relationships dropping because they're in a mean streak, or a kid wearing a bear costume any time they can for a week.
- Mood Swings - They can make a teen too sad/embarrassed/angry to do their homework, but on the plus teens don't die from emotions.
- "Teachable moments" where your parent is either asked for advice or gets a call from school where you have to choose between 1-3 responses that will impact their character values. Some of them are logical, some are kinda nonsensical.
- Kids and toddlers making a mess (at least I think that's attached to Parenthood) if they're in particularly playful or creative moods, toddlers and teens can make a paint mess (I think mean streak can do it too) which the parents can choose to dicipline or not.

You can have the parent discipline the kids and talk through phases too, which also impacts their traits.

If none of the traits end up in either the red or the green (and you have to seriously work to have them grow up with a trait in the red) by the time they age up to young adults, they have no impact.

LiELF

I don't really understand why you want to be convinced to buy it if you seem so against the concept. It's okay to not have all of the packs or not like some of them.

I don't own Parenthood either, and I probably won't ever. I'm okay with that. I like kids the way they are, I like their independence. I also can't stand the way they are designed in the pack to constantly make messes by dumping containers of flower or paint all over the place just so the player can discipline them. Those messes make me cringe hard. Have you ever watched a let's play video with that going on? It's horrible.

In the end, only you can really decide if a pack is going to suit your play style or not. Many people love the pack, yes, but that doesn't mean everyone will.

There are also reviews on YouTube that can help get some insight. LGR is always fun to watch, as is Carl, but I don't know if he has one out.

DaWaterRat

LiELF wrote: »

I don't really understand why you want to be convinced to buy it if you seem so against the concept. It's okay to not have all of the packs or not like some of them.

I don't own Parenthood either, and I probably won't ever. I'm okay with that. I like kids the way they are, I like their independence. I also can't stand the way they are designed in the pack to constantly make messes by dumping containers of flower or paint all over the place just so the player can discipline them. Those messes make me cringe hard. Have you ever watched a let's play video with that going on? It's horrible.

I confess, I modded that out via MCCC, because... yeah. Probably the most intrusive aspect, and often completely out of left field for the character of the kid (toddlers at least makes some sense.)

jimbbq

One of the few game packs I don’t enjoy. I think the sim team generally did a good job with game packs but parenthood is not it, at least not for me. Basically kids come with 5 trait bars which can go green or red. Do homework your responsibility bar goes up. Break curfew it goes down. It sounds good until you realise the traits they get don’t really do much to the gameplay. It is the flaw of sims 4 trait system and parenthood building on this system is therefore not enjoyable for me.

simgirl1010

https://youtu.be/9mLI6Sq4eFc

Also check out Carl's Guide and video.

https://www.carls-sims-4-guide.com/gamepacks/parenthood/

https://youtu.be/F8c3aUmTN2M

Atreya33

I understand your apprehension. While I think this is one of the best packs there are moments when I want to my sims to raise kids without being bothered by teaching moments or phrases.

You have to make up your mind if you want this in the game. More is not always better so if you decide you prefer not to have a certain gameplay in a pack, that is fine.

Sindocat

Parenthood is a great pack - one of my favorites. I'd say the way that Values and Parenting skill interact is more collaboration between parent and child than the parent in some kind of dictatorial role. Personally, my Sims' parenting style has been to be complete marshmallows, with the harshest interaction I have ever had having been a serious talk, and usually they go for "hug it out".

My Sim kids are free to become whoever they are - the pack doesn't interfere with it, but it does extend interactions and really can make for closer families. And the Values pay off at age-up, if you have them pegged. Responsible, Compassionate, Polite, etc. Sims get useful (and unique) interactions and benefits.

Messes improve Creativity. Cleaning them up improves Responsibility. AND your kids will learn (as they go) to make fewer messes. Emotional Control helps with that.

Scobre

Yes honestly one of the first packs I suggest people to get and only one that effects teenage gameplay.

Pegasys

Parenthood is a solid pack, and one of the best game packs, IMHO. But, you don't HAVE to actively use its features. I can focus on the features if it fits the story or challenge, but a lot of the time I simply ignore the parenting skill and character traits and my sims end up fine. It's actually hard for sims to acquire "negative" traits without deliberate intervention.

Pegasys

Oh one more comment - Parenthood gives sims the ability to argue and some more "mean" interactions which I enjoy using occasionally. (I think it was Parenthood that added these - or was it the pre-Parenthood patch?)

sinra

I think you might be taking the trailer too literally and reading too much into it. Just because they're marketing just how involved you can be in the pack doesn't mean they'll point a freeze ray at you and force you to make your sims hold their kid's hand through everything. If you want to grind for a character trait and utilise the parent for it, you can. Or you leave the kid to their own devices. I've had kids independently gain any traits I wanted them to have just as well as I've had more hands-on parents influence their children, because I made them be that involved.

Again, if you don't want a sim to help their kid with a school project, just... don't tell them to help. As simple as that. Your kids aren't going to turn out horrible just because their parents are busy. And you don't have to teach them to say sorry or scold them for cussing.

I would only recommend let's plays if you can keep in mind that it's a series specifically exploring the pack, and they will most likely be very involved as a result in order to showcase just that. If anything, consider watching a let's play of a pack that came after Parenthood to see how the pack works when it's not the player's focus.

Nushnushganay

jimbbq wrote: »

One of the few game packs I don’t enjoy. I think the sim team generally did a good job with game packs but parenthood is not it, at least not for me. Basically kids come with 5 trait bars which can go green or red. Do homework your responsibility bar goes up. Break curfew it goes down. It sounds good until you realise the traits they get don’t really do much to the gameplay. It is the flaw of sims 4 trait system and parenthood building on this system is therefore not enjoyable for me.

I really appreciate this. This is the kind of detail that I needed. I also appreciate everyone else who took the time, because I have heard how much some people love it, and wondered if I were jumping to too many conclusions. But if it doesn't come with any really alluring additional gameplay or objects or better radio stations or interactions, and it's just homework and curfew and whether to disclipine and making kids act a whole lot worse than they otherwise would, I am seriously leaning in your direction.

Big question: you obviously bought it and don't like it: so what do you do? Can you uninstall it? Or does it dog the rest of your game in all worlds, any time someone has a kid it has to be this way, now?

Scobre

Nushnushganay wrote: »

jimbbq wrote: »

One of the few game packs I don’t enjoy. I think the sim team generally did a good job with game packs but parenthood is not it, at least not for me. Basically kids come with 5 trait bars which can go green or red. Do homework your responsibility bar goes up. Break curfew it goes down. It sounds good until you realise the traits they get don’t really do much to the gameplay. It is the flaw of sims 4 trait system and parenthood building on this system is therefore not enjoyable for me.

I really appreciate this. This is the kind of detail that I needed. I also appreciate everyone else who took the time, because I have heard how much some people love it, and wondered if I were jumping to too many conclusions. But if it doesn't come with any really alluring additional gameplay or objects or better radio stations or interactions, and it's just homework and curfew and whether to disclipine and making kids act a whole lot worse than they otherwise would, I am seriously leaning in your direction.

Big question: you obviously bought it and don't like it: so what do you do? Can you uninstall it? Or does it dog the rest of your game in all worlds, any time someone has a kid it has to be this way, now?

Honestly one of my favorite things is taking tech away from teens as a punishment. It has really nice build/buy items too especially for the kitchen. It is one of those packs you can use the features and parenting skill does come with it which can help managing toddlers easier, but a lot of the gameplay actions can be avoided and are labeled with the icon. So it is kind of like Tiny Living in a way the features are there, but you don't have to use them. It does help bring more personality to the Sims if you choose to use some of those features either by making kids responsible or not for example.

Nushnushganay

@Scobre So I've watched the videos posted here (and grateful for them!) and it has me both more interested, and more not. Interested because it's one way to get more humor and grossness into an otherwise way-too-bland game (burps, farts, even sharts!? I'd enjoy that) but certain things like kids having to go through a Furry phase? Way out there and super annoying.

So you've really got my attention with what you're saying, that the features are there, but you don't have to use them? So if I don't want to be an intensive super-parent, I can just play like I otherwise would and things will be fine?

Also, what's the deal with curfew? Does there HAVE to be one? Do parents get to choose the time or is it set by the game?

And if I do not make my kids/teens go to school, using a mod to make it optional, I sure hope this pack wouldn't shove school down our throats as a necessity. I mean kids who don't go to school can still study, "do homework" so is that enough?

Nushnushganay

sinra wrote: »

I think you might be taking the trailer too literally and reading too much into it. Just because they're marketing just how involved you can be in the pack doesn't mean they'll point a freeze ray at you and force you to make your sims hold their kid's hand through everything. If you want to grind for a character trait and utilise the parent for it, you can. Or you leave the kid to their own devices. I've had kids independently gain any traits I wanted them to have just as well as I've had more hands-on parents influence their children, because I made them be that involved.

Again, if you don't want a sim to help their kid with a school project, just... don't tell them to help. As simple as that. Your kids aren't going to turn out horrible just because their parents are busy. And you don't have to teach them to say sorry or scold them for cussing.

I would only recommend let's plays if you can keep in mind that it's a series specifically exploring the pack, and they will most likely be very involved as a result in order to showcase just that. If anything, consider watching a let's play of a pack that came after Parenthood to see how the pack works when it's not the player's focus.

Thank you, this is hugely encouraging. I was basing my reaction off the trailer, and it did make it look like something I wanted no part of. But from what you and others here are saying...maybe it's not gonna break my game? And farts, burps, and sharts and cussing have a certain allure! Anything to get more personality and humor into this game!

Scobre

Nushnushganay wrote: »

@Scobre So I've watched the videos posted here (and grateful for them!) and it has me both more interested, and more not. Interested because it's one way to get more humor and grossness into an otherwise way-too-bland game (burps, farts, even sharts!? I'd enjoy that) but certain things like kids having to go through a Furry phase? Way out there and super annoying.

So you've really got my attention with what you're saying, that the features are there, but you don't have to use them? So if I don't want to be an intensive super-parent, I can just play like I otherwise would and things will be fine?

Also, what's the deal with curfew? Does there HAVE to be one? Do parents get to choose the time or is it set by the game?

And if I do not make my kids/teens go to school, using a mod to make it optional, I sure hope this pack wouldn't shove school down our throats as a necessity. I mean kids who don't go to school can still study, "do homework" so is that enough?

Yeah I ignore the furry phase. XD The emo phase is fun just because Sims want to dress in black. Yeah you don't have to use the features. There doesn't have to be a curfew, it is optional too. You have 3 times to pick from with the curfew set by the game. The school isn't that much different from the base game. They just have these special assignments they bring home from school which your kids can do but they don't have to. There are also two versions of the projects, so rushing it makes lower quality objects.

The burps, farting, and cussing are super fun.

Sim2Spore

The curfew system is optional. Basically there’s a bulletin board you can purchase and put in your house that allows you to set certain parameters like the curfew, and it’s only if you do this that there will be any impact on your children’s traits.

Doing poorly in school is one way to lower your children’s overall Responsibility, but the game would have to actually register them as “missing class” or having “not done” their homework upon going to school. If you were to mod out school altogether, then you can’t really lose Responsibility in that way.

I’ll be honest, although I like the premise of the pack, I don’t use all of the features all the time. I tend to let my kids do their own thing. By default since I always make them do school work and chores, my kids always come out “responsible”, which isn’t a bad thing. All it really does is make them choose the “Work Hard” away action by default as adults, and gives them more positive outcomes when they get Chance Cards during work, which almost always results in them gaining work performance rather than lose it.

Emotional Control and Compassionate are other nice values to have though, since they enable you to control your emotional state or the state of other sims around you very easily with only a couple interactions.

The only reason I ever use Good Manners is for the Polite introduction, which gives slightly more friendship than a normal introduction. But if you literally use anything else given from Charisma, then this pales in comparison.

I don’t really use Mediator much, just because most of my sims don’t get into arguments in the first place.

The negative values are great if you don’t want sims to have perfect lives. There are also cheats so you can apply these to pre-existing adult sims if you don’t wanna go through the hassle of raising new generations from scratch.

—that is a downside for this pack for me though, in that only player-influenced families will have these traits, as they are not randomly applied to NPCs at all.

somewhsome

Nushnushganay wrote: »

Big question: you obviously bought it and don't like it: so what do you do? Can you uninstall it?

You can disable it: https://jamesturner.yt/disablepacks

SimsLovinLycan

Eh, the actual mechanics in the game are mostly easy to ignore or totally forget except for some of the phases that Children and Teens go through and the Teen mood swings. Also, the Responsibility trait is actually really easy to max out for a positive outcome just by having the kids do their homework and go to school, manners is second easiest with autonomous dish washing in play, and a full positive bar for the others or a full negative bar for any of the traits actually is a grind...but a grind you can safely ignore.

Mainly, you should get this pack if you play with families a lot or you really, really like the CAS or Build/Buy offerings. They have a pair of ripped jeans in this pack with a plaid flannel shirt around the waist that give me 90's throwback vibes so hard I can't help smiling whenever I see it. But, if you don't really need more clothes or home stuff and you don't play with families all that much, you can safely skip this pack.

SimAlexandria

Scobre wrote: »

Nushnushganay wrote: »

@Scobre So I've watched the videos posted here (and grateful for them!) and it has me both more interested, and more not. Interested because it's one way to get more humor and grossness into an otherwise way-too-bland game (burps, farts, even sharts!? I'd enjoy that) but certain things like kids having to go through a Furry phase? Way out there and super annoying.

So you've really got my attention with what you're saying, that the features are there, but you don't have to use them? So if I don't want to be an intensive super-parent, I can just play like I otherwise would and things will be fine?

Also, what's the deal with curfew? Does there HAVE to be one? Do parents get to choose the time or is it set by the game?

And if I do not make my kids/teens go to school, using a mod to make it optional, I sure hope this pack wouldn't shove school down our throats as a necessity. I mean kids who don't go to school can still study, "do homework" so is that enough?

Yeah I ignore the furry phase. XD The emo phase is fun just because Sims want to dress in black. Yeah you don't have to use the features. There doesn't have to be a curfew, it is optional too. You have 3 times to pick from with the curfew set by the game. The school isn't that much different from the base game. They just have these special assignments they bring home from school which your kids can do but they don't have to. There are also two versions of the projects, so rushing it makes lower quality objects.

The burps, farting, and cussing are super fun.

There's actually 3 versions of the projects A Poor, Good, and Excellent quality when they are done them.

OP, They don't have to be done, but you get bonus credit in school for doing them. (THey don't lower performance if you don't) They also build a skill. I like them because they are one of the few things that can be done as a group... up to 5 sims can work on them together age child and up.
They receive them every Monday at school, but you can buy them more often from build mode. And you have the choice to work carefully or sloppily. The more sims work on them at a time the faster they get completed.

Curfews I never use, but I do like grounding my kids when they misbehave.

Honestly I love the pack as a family player but each play style is different. And you don't HAVE to be more involved really.

Nushnushganay

thanks everyone! Now that I know there's a mod to disable it if I don't want to keep it, and that it doesn't take over the game like I had feared. I think I will take the plunge. It's worth it, to have farts and belches and cussing in my game!

calaprfy

One challenge is to not control the child sim at all and have the parent sim boss them about!

One tip - don't have too many children or the advice chance cards will do your head in!

Nushnushganay

calaprfy wrote: »

One challenge is to not control the child sim at all and have the parent sim boss them about!

One tip - don't have too many children or the advice chance cards will do your head in!

Whoo boy. When I go in for family play, I like to go large. Warning noted! :