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NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
edited August 2020 in Off Topic Chat
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Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

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Post edited by Nushnushganay on

Comments

  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    So I'm guessing nobody else heard of it either?
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

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  • DeKayDeKay Posts: 81,472 Member
    You should put this on the Gen Disc section instead of here. Cuz people who know the game the most don't hang out here. XD
    My Top Song of the Day: Fancy Footwork by Chromeo
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  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    edited March 2020
    But it wasn't a game-related topic. I was asking if, in real life, other people experience this kind of behavior about engagement rings.
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • DeKayDeKay Posts: 81,472 Member
    But it wasn't a game-related topic. I was asking if, in real life, other people experience this kind of behavior about engagement rings.

    Ohhh. XD Oops.
    My Top Song of the Day: Fancy Footwork by Chromeo
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  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    edited March 2020
    'SOkay. 😃
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • CaptainElsaCaptainElsa Posts: 226 Member
    I mean, it depends on the personality and culture but generally in the US there is a lot of importance on the ring. It's a thing to take photos of just the ring, spend three months salary on it, discuss it with friends and family and show it off, etc.
  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    Good to know. It feels odd that all that was foreign to me and my spouse both, but it's a good thing, or one of us might have been disappointed! 😄
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    edited March 2020
    I mean, it depends on the personality and culture but generally in the US there is a lot of importance on the ring. It's a thing to take photos of just the ring, spend three months salary on it, discuss it with friends and family and show it off, etc.

    That's a $15,000 ring on a 60K /yr income! And anyone living on 30K and paying all their own bills, car, etc can't spare to live on the $15K left over for a whole year, once taxes take 1/4 and a ring takes another 1/4. Maybe it requires being in the over-$100,000/year bracket, to do that sort of thing? So it can't be that commonplace in the US based on incomes?
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • justlexijustlexi Posts: 57 Member
    I find it normal that someone shows-off her ring. I don't see any problem with that.
  • CaptainElsaCaptainElsa Posts: 226 Member
    I mean, it depends on the personality and culture but generally in the US there is a lot of importance on the ring. It's a thing to take photos of just the ring, spend three months salary on it, discuss it with friends and family and show it off, etc.

    That's a $15,000 ring on a 60K /yr income! And anyone living on 30K and paying all their own bills, car, etc can't spare to live on the $15K left over for a whole year, once taxes take 1/4 and a ring takes another 1/4. Maybe it requires being in the over-$100,000/year bracket, to do that sort of thing? So it can't be that commonplace in the US based on incomes?

    No, it's pretty commonplace and not just for rich people.

    Though I was under a non-recession rule of three months. Considering the current economy it is now 2 months.

    But it's always going to be up to the individual. Some people don't wear rings at all.
  • BabykittyjadeBabykittyjade Posts: 4,975 Member
    From my personal experience people today is all about "showing off" it's just something to show off the same way some guys I know must have the latest car to show to everyone else they are of a higher class, has more money,or wearing the latest style whatever the case may be. I know some people who believe the more expensive ring you buy them the more you must love them. And other people will judge you according to your wedding ring. "Omg!! Look at those diamonds he must love you so much!!"😱

    Now I'm not saying everyone does it with bad intentions. They may be genuinely excited to share with loved ones or friends their new ring. It seems to have become a cultural thing though. Kyile Jenner is the perfect example of the show off culture many people are imitating.

    I am south asian living in America. And in south asia they don't care about the wedding ring it's all about "showing off" the clothes, jewelry and long hair. Like 50 bangles on one arm, giant necklaces and earrings, saris made of silken gold and glitter. So these days everyone wants to show off something. And in America as far as I know the ring is one of them.😄
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  • under_sun_and_skyunder_sun_and_sky Posts: 96 Member
    Good lord I can't imagine paying 15k for a ring, no way I'd let anyone pay that much on me as well. Engagement rings are overrated af, I'd be fine with just being like "wanna go elope in the woods babe" but that's just me. But yeah I'd think it would depend on the culture as well. It's definitely a huge deal in a lot of western society, and while personally I think it's insane to potentially go into debt for what is essentially a rock on a circle, even a very pretty rock on a circle, I can see how that would make people want to show it off more. It all probably ties in to our extravagant expensive wedding culture as well, and how people make big deals out of those too.
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  • LyouflnLyoufln Posts: 10,861 Member
    The idea of giving your beloved a diamond ring to propose was made up by the De Beers company, who also controlled a large part of the diamond mining industry (Unsure if they still do, but probably). They convinced men that if you don't give a woman a diamond ring, then what's the gooddaya?

    https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/

    Diamonds may be pretty, but they aren't particularly rare in comparison to other precious stones. Their value, from what I understand, has been artificially inflated because De Beers wanted more money. And suddenly it's become a tradition steeped in a major life event for many people, so much so that we just don't question it.

    This isn't to say that diamond rings are horrible (they're not, unless those diamond came from a mine that exploited workers and/or destroyed the local environment), but it is very interesting how companies have and continue to influence our purchasing choices, traditions, and other aspects of our lives.
  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    edited August 2020
    This has turned into a very interesting conversation, and I'm grateful to everyone who gave a perspective to it! I've learned a lot.

    Post edited by Nushnushganay on
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    edited August 2020
    delete
    Post edited by Nushnushganay on
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
  • Becka28Becka28 Posts: 1,870 Member
    Where I'm from its a certain type of person that expects everyone to notice their rings. And not telling is definitely an important part of their game. They are so invested in their relationship and engagement that they think everyone else is too. I am more than happy to congratulate someone and share their happiness but I don't like the guessing game thing.

    Honestly, I am more like you - if you want me to see it - show it to me - don't wave your hand all around and be coy. I probably won't get the hint because I'm not that observant about finer details. I am more likely to be paying attention to a person's voice and mood. As for the cost of the ring - I think it comes down to individual taste and circumstances. I would hate to walk around every where with $15k on my finger! It doesn't really shout love to me. Nor would it suit my overall look and lifestyle. I'd prefer a cheap ring and $15k off the mortgage.
  • simspeaker4simspeaker4 Posts: 5,999 Member
    Before she was married, I used to tease my aunt about getting married. One Xmas she did everything but shove her be-ringed hand in my face to show me that she was engaged.
    I am a perfectly decrepit withered old hag who enjoys self-mockery.

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  • pristinesimpristinesim Posts: 27 Member
    I'm the kind of person that asks to see the ring if people tell me they are engaged. But I've never seen someone in real life who tried to subtly show their ring just so people will start talking about it.
  • Maus652Maus652 Posts: 226 Member
    In my social circles, not so much? But we do ask each other to see the ring when we know they're engaged.
    Or people send pictures to each other.
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  • SimAlexandriaSimAlexandria Posts: 4,845 Member
    My household income is $25,000... I don't want to get married but if I did, I'm happy if I got a ring from the dollar store haha. Or better yet, reuse one that I have that a grandparent gave me when I was a teen.
  • Maus652Maus652 Posts: 226 Member
    edited March 2020
    My household income is $25,000... I don't want to get married but if I did, I'm happy if I got a ring from the dollar store haha. Or better yet, reuse one that I have that a grandparent gave me when I was a teen.

    Oh god that three month's wages nonsense is such trash! My engagement ring was £199 and my wedding ring only £95 xD

    He offered to get me a "nicer" ring - he'd got a cheap placeholder because he proposed when we were abroad and didn't want to risk losing an expensive one - but I liked that he'd chosen this one.

    If your partner can't choose a ring you'd be happy with, it's either because you don't know each other well enough taste-wise or one of you needs to sort your priorities a bit, in my opinion.

    I know a guy who got engaged to his uni sweetheart. We didn't like her much but he got her a lovely ring - proper little rock style. She didn't like it and got him to buy her another. So she had two. They are very broken up now after some other stuff happened.

    The ring thing was just the icing on the cake really. She wouldn't have been happy with whatever he'd chosen, and I'm fairly sure combined they were both worth more than 4 months' of his income. Bleurgh.
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  • lisamwittlisamwitt Posts: 5,079 Member
    I've never met anyone like that. I've only ever seen that sort of thing on tv. Lol.
    I think it's weird to spend so much on one thing that you could be putting into your life together. I bought mine and my husband's rings at a pawn shop after we picked them out together. But, we also eloped in jeans and t-shirts, so the whole concept of big engagements and weddings is weird to me.
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  • SimAlexandriaSimAlexandria Posts: 4,845 Member
    Maus652 wrote: »
    My household income is $25,000... I don't want to get married but if I did, I'm happy if I got a ring from the dollar store haha. Or better yet, reuse one that I have that a grandparent gave me when I was a teen.

    Oh god that three month's wages nonsense is such trash! My engagement ring was £199 and my wedding ring only £95 xD

    He offered to get me a "nicer" ring - he'd got a cheap placeholder because he proposed when we were abroad and didn't want to risk losing an expensive one - but I liked that he'd chosen this one.

    If your partner can't choose a ring you'd be happy with, it's either because you don't know each other well enough taste-wise or one of you needs to sort your priorities a bit, in my opinion.

    I know a guy who got engaged to his uni sweetheart. We didn't like her much but he got her a lovely ring - proper little rock style. She didn't like it and got him to buy her another. So she had two. They are very broken up now after some other stuff happened.

    The ring thing was just the icing on the cake really. She wouldn't have been happy with whatever he'd chosen, and I'm fairly sure combined they were both worth more than 4 months' of his income. Bleurgh.

    I know several coworkers that became engaged lately (not to each other, both coworkers were male) and they talked about spending 1 month income on the ring which I thought was excessive but much better than 3! To be honest, if I had a ring worth that much I'd feel too anxious about losing it to wear it haha!
  • NushnushganayNushnushganay Posts: 9,418 Member
    Maus652 wrote: »
    My household income is $25,000... I don't want to get married but if I did, I'm happy if I got a ring from the dollar store haha. Or better yet, reuse one that I have that a grandparent gave me when I was a teen.

    Oh god that three month's wages nonsense is such trash! My engagement ring was £199 and my wedding ring only £95 xD

    He offered to get me a "nicer" ring - he'd got a cheap placeholder because he proposed when we were abroad and didn't want to risk losing an expensive one - but I liked that he'd chosen this one.

    If your partner can't choose a ring you'd be happy with, it's either because you don't know each other well enough taste-wise or one of you needs to sort your priorities a bit, in my opinion.

    I know a guy who got engaged to his uni sweetheart. We didn't like her much but he got her a lovely ring - proper little rock style. She didn't like it and got him to buy her another. So she had two. They are very broken up now after some other stuff happened.

    The ring thing was just the icing on the cake really. She wouldn't have been happy with whatever he'd chosen, and I'm fairly sure combined they were both worth more than 4 months' of his income. Bleurgh.

    I think that stands as an excellent cautionary tale. Maybe a humbler ring is a great way to avoid winding up married to someone materialistic and shallow!
    Racism is EVERYONE's fight #BLM #StopAsianHate
    Let's make Liberty and Justice For All a reality.

    xicwqMCm.jpg
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