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Between2Worlds [Story]

Comments

  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    Hi guys. I really like the discussion you’re having. I’m learning a lot from your responses.

    @ArcherDK To your elaboration :smile:
    I really like what you said because I never knew what a Mary Sue Archetype is until you mentioned it. :smile: I pondered over it and I have to agree, she is competent skill-wise and she’s walking on a bed of roses for now. As to whether the author(I) created her as a wish-fulfillment/self-insertion. I cannot deny that I don’t. Then again, I have inserted myself in each character, even the villians. I can only say that this bed of roses at her feet have thorns, and that her critical flaws will surface at opportune moments. Your quote ’Everything is just too good’ is right because Funfact: You’ve picked up a minor plotline I scrapped. With your perceptiveness, I’m certain you’ll notice a hint of this plotline in one particular future chapter. :smile: But I’ve scrapped it so I can understand how everything seems so idealistic that its quite off-putting.

    You make very valid points in your sharing so don’t worry about me taking anything the wrong way. :smile:
    ArcherDK wrote: »
    5) is EXPLICITLY referred to as a brick wall and she shows it by performing a SUPLEX (!!!!)

    Athena did not perform a suplex, That was Kian. She did however, after weeks of being knocked down, developed the right stance and knew how to position/manoeuvre her center of gravity to overcome tackles of bigger opponent. (This here is me self-injecting. I’ve never mastered this technique so I lose once this flaw is exposed.) :joy:
    ArcherDK wrote: »
    @candycottonchu
    In all honesty it just feels like it's all about talent, so far. Luck of the draw.

    Ah.. this is my gripe with (certain) schools. I’ve never given any detail about the school, but you’ve highlighted CS High's social system just like that. That's really impressive. :open_mouth:

    @candycottonchu
    You have a new banner!!! Why is Suze and DIEGO on the banner YUCK!! :angry: (I have to comment here because I cannot go on your thread yet. :tired_face:

    I didn’t know you found Athena an ungrateful b*h. LOL But I love it! That broadens my perspective as to how she can be interpreted by others! And I like how you perceive the damsel-in-distress theme. Your argument clearly explains why this theme is popular among the masses. Everyone can relate to needing help or wanting to save the day or fix someone else’s problem. I am a sappy romantic as well (but you know that already with my obvious certain chapters. Neyhehe!)

    And.. I can't say anything else.. because that will spoil my story lol. :joy:
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    @mercuryfoam
    The fact that at least two of your readers assume that it was Athena who Suplexes, it kind of tells something, no?

    Nope, I didn't mean the school. I meant the whole story. Curtis was picked up by Masoto because of his talent. He sees talent in Athena and wants i have it under control for himself. Kirino has a talent for disguise and obfuscation. Every student in CS high has a talent. Avery is a talented painter/artist. Seeing the pattern? All those who had NO talent are swept under the rug VERY quickly.The whole story so far sends a message "Be talented or 🌺🌺🌺🌺".
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  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    @ArcherDK
    Oh wow, I'm mind blown. I've never noticed it! I'm definitely dissecting the story with this nugget at the end thanks! :smiley:
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    Just read chapters 7,8 and 9 and boy oh boy does it get better.
    First of all - a huge kudos to you for bringing up such a...terrible...topic. You know what I'm talking about. Chapters 8 and 9 break the knight-damsel story by showing the filth and dirty business of life of shadows AND exposing Athena to...indecency. Well done. I salute your bravery.

    With that said - and I under NO circumstances belittle such a horrible experience - I find it very hard to feel bad for Athena. Unfortunately, she's completed her transition into Mary Sue character. She whined, complained, demanded and remained arrogant while so many people told her to stop. Had she listened for even ONE second... Again - what happened to her is horrible. Disgusting. Monstrous. But she has brought it onto herself.

    On the topic of Grim - EASILY the best character in the story. Bar none. He tried to help, he remained polite no matter what and is genuinely likable.

    Now onto something negative. If the story had absolutely no magic except for grim, it wouldn't lose anything. Replace magical wand with a pistol and teleportation with parkour. Little would be lost. It's not "Betwwen2Worlds" it's "OutOfThisWorld". If that makes any sense.

    I must stress that under no circumstances I attack the Author personally or belittle her skill and talent. Nothing of what I say comes from authority and shouldn't be taken as absolute truth. Thank you.
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  • candycottonchucandycottonchu Posts: 838 Member
    @mercuryfoam
    ehehe... well Suzy and Diego are v important in the first part of Paris and it's not as if that cast is very big to fill a banner 😁
    yes, please, she totally was, but that's very teen-behavior, and tbh I love it 😂 if a character doesn't have strong flaws, what is there to grow during the story?

    about that suplex or w/e.. I have literally no idea about fighting, so any descriptions of fighting scenes are kinda lost on me 😅 what I can only agree on is that Athena became very strong in a short time, but maybe stance makes more than pure force.

    @ArcherDK
    I find the glee with which you apparently enjoy Athena's horrible experience disturbing. Yes, she is arrogant, maybe even self-righteous, sometimes ungrateful. But she's just a random teen girl, and even if she was much worse than she is, and saying she deserved it... I have no words for that.
    If I misunderstood, my apologies.
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    @ArcherDK

    Lol ahaha! OOTW could be a parody of B2W! :joy:

    Thank you. The themes are dear to me, and I’m glad you see my writing about them positively. :smile:

    I’m so sorry this is so long!!! :confounded:

    I’m so curious about this Mary-sue! :lol: I believe we might have a different definition to what a Mary Sue is so I went ahead and read up more about this archetype and apparently it is used in such a wide context that it’s made me extra confused! So I’m going to link to the definition of Mary sue I found that I’m going to analyse from. All about Mary Sue
    If we share this definition of a ‘mary sue’, I think Athena would best fit another Archetype. To the points:
    1.Based on the author - Naturally. All my characters (even males) have bits of pieces of me. I need a character that is believable and real. But she is also based off traits from people around me.
    2.No flaws - Contrarily, Athena is a very flawed character. Will detail in point 5.
    3.Everyone reacts wonderfully to her - No. Not everyone. And if you refer to the reaction of her schoolmates during the basketball scene, it is simply the superficiality that comes with fame. You’ll see.
    4.Boy magnet - No. NO. NO! If she were to be caught up in some drama involving more than 1 men, I will do my best to make it realistic and not plucked out of thin air. (Kian would fit this point instead)
    5.No growth, no change - I think you’ve noticed too that Athena is a dynamic character. Her character in Ch 1-5 is vastly different from Ch7-9 - the catalyst being Ch 6. As you continue reading, you’ll find her developing in response to how she interacts with the people/environment. Current update would show her character shifting once again. There will be another moment too that you’re fast approaching.

    Athena’s traits in Ch 7-9 is to me, typical teenage angst. Additionally she’s in the early stages of discarding her emotionally repressed nature, so she hasn’t found the critical balance between assertion and arrogance. The grim saying “I don’t remember such candor from you” can imply either assertion (she’s gaining confidence) or arrogance. (she’s gaining too much :lol: )

    The thing about the above is, both are plausible. In Ch 6 I intended the happy airy schooling experience to make Athena come out of her shell and show her that she CAN and SHOULD let go and behave like a normal teenager. She did as you can see, but whether the superficial acceptance had inflated her ego, I left it up to the reader’s interpretation. :smile:

    And there will be more magic in the later chapters! And they will meld together into the plot so don’t worry! You’re still at the part where she’s still distrustful and keeps her identity a secret from the world. But once she trusts, it will pour into the plot! :smiley:

    What happened to her is horrible yes, but I cannot agree with you that she brought it upon herself. I always revert back to these questions. If a woman walks around topless, is she asking to be assaulted? I answer a hearty no. If a person gets drunk and is taken advantage of, did they bring it upon themselves? Still a no. When Athena makes the wrongest of all decisions due to an inflated sense of security against the world, did she bring it upon herself? I have to say no too. The thing about this is we tend to forgive those who are physically vulnerable (i.e. being drunk) or handicapped, but we are harsh towards that we cannot see (mental health issues and especially, error of judgement). Athena has made the worst kind of error here.
  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    edited June 1
    @candycottonchu

    Oooh! I must be halfway typing because I only saw your reply after I hit send.

    Ah you’re right! I should make an additional information note like how you did with languages. That was so helpful. Ok you activated my nerd moment :joy: so let me explain some things about martial arts.

    Me rambling :sweat_smile:
    Suplex = you use your body weight and gravity to throw someone over your shoulder. They will land on their head. She will need to have hand, leg, core chest ALL muscles, gripping and throwing technique and also how to make sure she don’t bump her own head :lol: ! So she can’t do that for sure.

    Balance is the key to any form of fighting. If you apprentice under a master, he will literally make you do the horse stance for three months without teaching you any techniques! I am serious. This is the horse stance
    d80948fa798e5687c1f403bcf6280690.png

    It doesn’t look nice at all :joy: But that is where the balance and energy comes from. If a person doesn’t master this, they will just look good, but no fighting value. :smile:

    P.s. - ah.. now i feel very... sickly satisfied when looking at diego. >:) No mercy for him!
  • candycottonchucandycottonchu Posts: 838 Member
    @mercuryfoam ah thanks for the explanation! I have no idea and never was too interested in fighting 😅 that picture is funny too hehe
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    @candycottonchu
    And I find it disgusting, despicable and condemnable that you saw something like that in my words. Perhaps it is YOU who enjoyed seeing her suffer, since you've been so quick to come to this conclusion? I've met people who survived such an experience. I've talked to them. This is most vile crime one could commit. Capital offence. If it were up to me, those men would burn for millennia. If you think that I enjoyed Athena suffering - you disgust me. Begone from my sight. I have nothing more to say to you.

    @mercuryfoam
    Like I've said, nothing I say is a complete and absolute truth. If I'm wrong then I'm wrong. And like I said, I do not understate the significance of Athena's horrible experience. She didn't deserve it. But she didn't have to interfere. She didn't have to go there. My point is that grim told her to stand still. He definitely knows much and she explicitly asks him to be her mentor. Everyone makes mistakes, but she was the one to set the events into motion. Just like your example with drunk - nobody forced them to drink, no?

    Look, I get it. I really do. I've met and talked to victims of this terrible experience. The problem is that in THIS case Athena had someone telling her AGAIN and AGAIN to do NOTHING, yes she's chosen to act.

    I know that I look like a demented piece of llamas droppings, but like you've said in your work - it is fiction. I'm talking about fiction. I would never say anything like that about a real person. I'm not that heartless. We can all agree that Athena suffered something so horrible that no one deserves this fate. Not even a pile of pixels on a rig.
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  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    edited June 1
    I think we should just leave it be. No one is right in this topic. We should all be grateful that we're discussing fictional character.
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  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,366 Member
    edited June 1

    @ArcherDK
    I find the glee with which you apparently enjoy Athena's horrible experience disturbing. Yes, she is arrogant, maybe even self-righteous, sometimes ungrateful. But she's just a random teen girl, and even if she was much worse than she is, and saying she deserved it... I have no words for that.
    If I misunderstood, my apologies.

    Interesting how the way we all perceive Athena's character differs. I never saw her as arrogant. I'd think her tendency to throw herself head first into these situations stems from the sense of invulnerability most teenagers posses. From their belief they can change the world if they put their mind into it. That is not arrogance. That is thinking of a person who hasn't been exposed to the harsh truths of life and death. But then again Athena was there when her father died. She should be more aware of the risks. Maybe it's her optimistic personality that always has upper hand, her belief that everyone and everything is salvageable what urges her to act in those hopeless situations. And only something as horrible as what happened to her can change that. I think her effort to change everything for the better is admirable. Maybe Athena subconsciously knows that the only thing necessary for the evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing, and she refuses to stand idly by.
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    HEFFNER LEGACYSimblrHeffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    edited June 1
    @Maladi777
    A sense of invulnerability after getting bat to the back of her skull. Yep, no arrogance whatsoever. After standing near a very real personification of DEATH and STILL trying to pull her weight. No! Not arrogant! After encountering a very real organized crime syndicate. Nope! No arrogance whatsoever!
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  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,366 Member
    edited June 1
    ArcherDK wrote: »
    @Maladi777
    A sense of invulnerability after getting bat to the back of her skull. Yep, no arrogance whatsoever. After standing near a very real personification of DEATH and STILL trying to pull her weight. No! Not arrogant! After encountering a very real organized crime syndicate. Nope! No arrogance whatsoever!

    I believe you may have a few terms and their definitions mixed up. Arrogance suggests a person who is full of self-worth and unpleasantly proud. I don't see Athena as such. Stubborn and impulsive? Yes. Arrogant? No.
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    HEFFNER LEGACYSimblrHeffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    edited June 1
    @Maladi777
    So you're trying to say that ignoring advice of people who definitely know more than Athena is not a display of arrogance? She assumes that they're wrong and she is right. Otherwise she would listen. Sounds pretty arrogant to me. Arrogant AND stubborn. List just keeps getting bigger! With that said, it is a round-about way of looking at it.
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  • Maladi777Maladi777 Posts: 4,366 Member
    edited June 1
    ArcherDK wrote: »
    @Maladi777
    So you're trying to say that ignoring advice of people who definitely know more than Athena is not a display of arrogance? She assumes that they're wrong and she is right. Otherwise she would listen. Sounds pretty arrogant to me. Arrogant AND stubborn. List just keeps getting bigger! With that said, it is a round-about way of looking at it.

    Oh yes. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. Children often don't listen to their parents' advice either. Would you call a child arrogant? Athena has closer to a child than she has to an arrogant person who holds other people in contempt. She's been proving it the whole time. She cares about others to a fault.
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    HEFFNER LEGACYSimblrHeffner Legacy Discussion │ Origin ID: Maladi
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    @Maladi777
    Would you call a child arrogant? Athena has closer to a child. Ah-ah-ah! She is a child who is getting into adults' business. Thus, not a child anymore. She doesn't have that excuse anymore.
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  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    Done with chapter 10.
    What can I say. While Curtis didn't grip me as character, I have to give him credit. He's brave. To try and make a deal with Masato like that.

    I don't for one second believe that Masato wanted Athena around simply to school Curtis. If that is the case, I will be rather disappointed.

    Not surprised that there is a mystery regarding Curtis and another Curtis. That kind of cover would be convenient, if flimsy.

    I have this sneaking suspicion that the school is a way to keep children of rich and influential people in one place. Everyone there are son or daughter of someone important. How convenient it would be if Masato would want a leverage. I'm also pretty certain that not all students there are actually students.

    Ah, there is a dose of reality Athena needed! Finally! Wisdom from the gutter! Well done, Dew! Well done!
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  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    edited June 3
    @ArcherDK Thank you for your feedback. :smile:
    I'm replying by paragraph.

    1. This is great feedback. Do you mean to say the writer did not flesh out Curtis's character enough to make an impression? Or is it that his character design doesn't appeal to you? I'd appreciate it if you could explain why too.

    2. Ah unfortunately I will have to disappoint you there. Masato's intention of involving Athena is simply to manipulate Curtis into becoming his 'willing tool' for the rest of Curtis's life. Masato's design is one who doesn't force someone to adopt his principles, rather plants ideas that make his targets (Curtis) believe they had a choice in their path, to which he never did the whole time, and that they will in the end choose the path Masato wants them to take. (I hope this makes sense!)

    3. I've had Curtis's backstory since Ch 1. And I have like you, thought my presentation of his background to be unoriginal, but I didn't know how to present it any other way. :sweat_smile: Thank you for your feedback, it confirms my suspicion. If I encounter a similar writing situation like this again, I'll keep this in mind.

    4. Your foresight is spot on. ;) I'll just add students and staff there for you.

    5. I didn't want to say this in your earlier analyses because I didn't want it to be a spoiler, but yes you were right about the direction of her character, Athena desperately needed a reality check and Dew is there to provide it. This is a 'serving of humble pie' for Athena. I say this with as much endearment as possible because in the end I made her. Her flaws are my undoing <3:smile:
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    @mercuryfoam

    1. On ho. I can clearly see why people would find him appealing. Curtis is not a bad character, he's just not that interesting to me personally. I suppose I've figured him out by chapter 5. Curtis is an okay character, just not that appealing to me.

    2. It is what it is. At least it shows that Masato is not all-knowing. This actually fits well with the idea of 2 worlds.

    3. Not unoriginal or boring, don't misunderstand. Just expected. It would be just weird if there was none.

    4. I will correct us both then. Staff. On Masato's payroll of course.

    5. If Athena was not flawed, than I wouldn't even bother analyzing her. I would've simply said that she is THE worst character in the story. Athena has something going on for her. You've done her a service by making her flawed. If anything, she has too much given to her.
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  • candycottonchucandycottonchu Posts: 838 Member
    Okay it is only a few days since your last update but I am sitting here thinking of all kinds of ways how this could end - Mean cliff hanger ! 😭😭
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    Chapter 12.
    Lighthouse moment is an excellent way to show Curtis' and Athena's much needed heart-to-heart. The pain that the situation is causing them is almost palpable, believable Overall, it is a good way to demonstrate reason vs heart battle that never ends well.

    It also demonstrates that Athena is still a child despite everything she has seen. She listens to her heart and tries to cling to high morals. While commendable, it is something that belongs in tales for kids. In reality, things sometimes just have to be done. Curtis understands this. And while I perfectly understand that he is still a human being who yearns for pleasures of life, I thing he should've pushed Athena away. Too bad that Athena doesn't listen. I'd say that a heartbreak would actually be good for her. While I know what it's like and how much it hurts, it would help her grow and mature.

    The comic part has one crippling design flaw - while text over bright sky. Some words are invisible.

    The pursuit section really evokes the feeling of dread and urgency. With that said, It got resolved in a somewhat cheap way. Magic the problem away. Yes, I know that I'm over exaggerating, but it feels a bit underwhelming. But there is definitely something that cheapens the experience - the fact that Athena didn't really hurt anybody. THAT would be actually good. I mean, really - she casts spells left right and center. She is no virtuoso. Somebody was bound to get hurt or killed. That would actually be VERY interesting,

    Overall, a very solid chapter.
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  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    @candycottonchu

    I'm glad you feel that way. Because that's how you make me feel!!! :bawling::bawling::bawling: I need that spell from magic realm pack to make two of myself! One for writing stories and one for reading stories! Btw I still want Etienne. <3:'(


    @ArcherDK

    Aw! Thank you! <3
    That's really high praise. Thank you very much :blush:

    You're right on the dot. Athena has always been naive, when she spoke against the Grim for Curtis, when she thinks she can help Curtis abandon his crime life, when she made that deal with Masato. :smile:

    Ah you're right. I never thought about the comic that way but I see now. Thank you for being direct and honest.

    :lol: I'm not surprised if others think the way you do! I find myself wondering as I watch action movies directed at teen/YA (Avengers for example) why nobody dies. It's armageddon, there's massive armies clashing together and our heroes have superpowers yes, but they are in the end, handicapped at one to 100,000 (or more). I understand that feeling.

    The magic system I've designed for B2W's universe is that lethal spells are located in the Untamed branch (which is forbidden and untaught). Hence, Athena's magic is raw and directly from her reserves with no elemental properties. I attribute such magic to blunt trauma or force that is not enough to kill, only to incapacitate. I can see what you mean by even if it were blunt force trauma, she should be able to knock off a kidney or two, but Athena by her own character doesn't want to kill people, and I admit I must be subconsciously trying to stick to less gory/violent themes (and failing elsewhere. :lol:)

    Thank you very much for your insights :blush:
  • ArcherDKArcherDK Posts: 617 Member
    Finished reading the whole work.
    Chapter 13.

    I've really enjoyed the whole graveyard sequence. The tension was real and the events transpired that mad me worry. A shame about Kian's wound.
    Also, i have to give Athena credit for actually trying to go all in and solve the mess.

    I also enjoyed the sequences 3 and 4. Very believable mood and emotions there. Nice pose work, by the way. Especially Kirino and Blaze :-)

    Speaking of - Kirino and Blaze are crucial for the story's progression. Both times they intervene on heroes' behalf, both time they save them from death.

    Sequence 2. The whole part about Curtis is really good. I liked the emotion, the behavior, everything. It dies feel like something that Curtis would act like in this situation. But the Athena's part is just ridiculous. She died..."NOPE, GOTCHA! She didn't! Shame on you! Even Grim can't reap her properly! Athena is perfect!". I mean, I understand that you're attached to her and want to have a good ending but this was just ridiculous. Perhaps it would be better if you didn't pretty much state that she died. Maybe it would be better if it was clear that she was actually alive and Curtis was not thinking straight. But hey - who am I to argue. I mean, Magic.

    On the contrast, chapter 14 is pretty much the best chapter in the whole work. I liked literally everything about it. The flow of the story was great, the plot was interesting, the image work was spot on. Have nothing negative to say.

    Chapter 15 is...complicated. I understand that there was a desperate need to wrap up the magical plot, but on the whole the chapter is a bit weak and goes to fast. This is actually in line with relative underdevelopment of magic plot.

    With that said, I praise your decision to have Athena claim the tome for herself and reject Grim. So much talk about fate and here she is, taking her fate in her own hands. This had to be done.

    Chapter 16. Confrontation between Scorcher and Curtis is very good. I especially like Scorcher's monologue. The funny thing is it also applies to Athena. She has great power in her hand and she is very hurt person.I don't for one second believe that she will not use that book for her own gains. Not necessarily to become a villain, but to become anti-hero? Yes, please.

    This is also pretty much the only chapter where I genuinely liked Athena. She has grown a spine. Yes, she has become very unpleasant but what else would happen after her experience. Hardship build character. There it is. Athena is different now. I like the change and find it very believable.

    With that said - why does she accept Curtis? Like, why? This is so forced, so out of nowhere. There was a recipe for PERFECT ending to their romance. Star-crossed lovers, everything is against them and "everything" wins. Sure, they are past their hardships, but they have changed. Both Athena and Curtis are just different people now. If Curtis didn't expect that, then he is a fool.

    Now, personal opinions.

    Would I recommend this story? I think yes. It definitely is not perfect, butt it has good moments and some viewers will definitely find it appealing on a whole.

    Did I enjoy the story? No. It's definitely not my cup of tea. I had good time analyzing it and there ARE a few FANTASTIC chapters and moments, but in general it is not interesting to me personally.

    My most and least favorite characters. Grim takes the cake as the best character.Nothing more to say about him.The other one would be Masato + Kirino. Very interesting characters that definitely could use more love.

    The most "meh" character is Curtis. He is well constructed and written, but he is very predictable.

    The worst bar none character is Athena. She comes across as annoying, ungrateful, lacking common seance brat who wants adventure, yet is CLEARLY not ready to actually deal with it and suffers for it. Athena in last chapters is basically a different character.

    The plot. What do I have to say about plot... The "Shadows" half is without any doubt the best. It has better characters, interesting events, dramatic moments and is in general well constructed. The "meh" part is romance.I think it just is forced. The circumstances are too dire for it to be there. Magic part of the plot is just bad. Bad bad bad! Not because it is a bad idea or because author has no skill, oh no! It's just underdeveloped. It needed more. A lot more.

    What would I change about the work? Remove the magical plot, but leave the grim reaper. It would work much better if Athena had a gift to sense death. Replace magic with guns and parkour. On the character side, maybe it would be better if Athena would be more openly unlikable and then her experiences would humble her.

    These are my a lot of bits. As always, this is just an opinion of one man who has llamas droppings for brains. Thank you for listening.
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  • mercuryfoammercuryfoam Posts: 520 Member
    @ArcherDK

    Thank you!
    .The other one would be Masato + Kirino. Very interesting characters that definitely could use more love.
    I'll let you know when I post ch 17.21 if you're interested. That's in the next cycle actually.
    With that said - why does she accept Curtis? Like, why? This is so forced, so out of nowhere. There was a recipe for PERFECT ending to their romance. Star-crossed lovers, everything is against them and "everything" wins. Sure, they are past their hardships, but they have changed. Both Athena and Curtis are just different people now. If Curtis didn't expect that, then he is a fool.
    Yes! I'm glad you feel that way about their relationship at this point. I wanted readers to feel uncomfortable here and I got what I want. They ARE very different people now and will be addressed in the epilogue. :smile:
    Magic part of the plot is just bad. Bad bad bad! Not because it is a bad idea or because author has no skill, oh no! It's just underdeveloped. It needed more. A lot more
    I never intended to develop it beyond what is shown in 17.1. Everything else is reserved for season 2. :smile:


    I think I've answered everything else.
  • AdamsEve1231AdamsEve1231 Posts: 6,373 Member
    Bookmarked and following. :) I can't wait to get started reading your story.
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