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The Kindness Bench for SimLit Writers - For All Games!

Comments

  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    Hiya ! I just want to toss out a reminder that the Forums are public . So always know that you have PMs as an option whenever you want to share more with a specific individual than you feel comfortable doing in public.

    And big hugs, Anne . I'm wondering if there might be some employment services that can help find something that meets your specific situation .
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • JellysimwichJellysimwich Posts: 778 Member
    @CathyTea is right about the forum being public. I didn't mean to sound like I'm prying.

    @BabyDollAnne without knowing your specific situation, there are jobs you can do at home, no need to leave the house. I have friends that have physical limitations, mental health issues, and or are just stay-at-home mums that opt to go this route. Not sure if you've looked into this option but might be something to consider.
  • moonswirlsmoonswirls Posts: 2,350 Member
    edited June 2016
    So..... i'm just gunna sit here...

    My unemployment (long term. its been, so.... fuuuuunnn... not) is making me depressed, low, devoid of energy, unmotivated, and so darn lonely.
    I've been trying my hardest to get a job but its so hard to find somewhere accommodating of my illness.

    Hi,

    What are your restrictions? Might have some ideas...

    I have severe anxiety which excludes me from busy places such as restaurants (waitressing/cheffing/hosting), bars (dancer, bartender, shotgirl) and stores (retail byebyeee)

    I'm currently looking into Care work, working with the elderly and stuff like that but it takes a long time to get work placements, then get verified that you can definitely work there, then you can start working. But of course, i'm a 19 year old girl with no work experience.

    /comfortable abt talking about anything, i was just out xD
  • JellysimwichJellysimwich Posts: 778 Member
    So..... i'm just gunna sit here...

    My unemployment (long term. its been, so.... fuuuuunnn... not) is making me depressed, low, devoid of energy, unmotivated, and so darn lonely.
    I've been trying my hardest to get a job but its so hard to find somewhere accommodating of my illness.

    Hi,

    What are your restrictions? Might have some ideas...

    I have severe anxiety which excludes me from busy places such as restaurants (waitressing/cheffing/hosting), bars (dancer, bartender, shotgirl) and stores (retail byebyeee)

    I'm currently looking into Care work, working with the elderly and stuff like that but it takes a long time to get work placements, then get verified that you can definitely work there, then you can start working. But of course, i'm a 19 year old girl with no work experience.

    /comfortable abt talking about anything, i was just out xD

    Depending on your area, care work or home care is a field that is always looking for both volunteers and employee caregivers. It can be both rewarding and tiresome, even frustrating at times, depending on the type of individuals you apply to work 1-1 with. I worked in the nursing field for almost 15 years, and I've definitely cycled through all those emotions at one time or another, I also deal with bipolar and manic depression. The neat thing is, you most certainly can impact another person's life in a positive way.

    As for no experience, home care does not necessarily require 'school experience', depending on your location and what duties you're performing for the individual. But, nursing classes aren't terribly demanding, if you're just wanting to get certified in the basics. There are programmes that you can enroll in, take less than a year, can also be taken online, that will certify you as a Certified Nurse Assistant. This'll give you a decent wage, as opposed to not being certified, and getting paid a lot less with less options.

    Hope this helps.
  • DerubelleDerubelle Posts: 638 Member
    So..... i'm just gunna sit here...

    My unemployment (long term. its been, so.... fuuuuunnn... not) is making me depressed, low, devoid of energy, unmotivated, and so darn lonely.
    I've been trying my hardest to get a job but its so hard to find somewhere accommodating of my illness.

    Hi,

    What are your restrictions? Might have some ideas...

    I have severe anxiety which excludes me from busy places such as restaurants (waitressing/cheffing/hosting), bars (dancer, bartender, shotgirl) and stores (retail byebyeee)

    I'm currently looking into Care work, working with the elderly and stuff like that but it takes a long time to get work placements, then get verified that you can definitely work there, then you can start working. But of course, i'm a 19 year old girl with no work experience.

    /comfortable abt talking about anything, i was just out xD

    Care work could actually be an incredibly good fit for you. One of my 19 year old friend's with no experience got a job and you will find it might actually be a lot easier than you think.Why you may ask? In all the towns I've been in UK (Since I know we reside in the same country) there has always been a shortage of carers. So many companies invest the time in training and doing your checks as long as you are an honest worker. What's more you can disclose your condition to them eventually and they cannot lawfully discriminate you.

    Both my mother and the friend I have just mentioned are carers and they are wonderful ones too (since I know there can be really bad ones out there). My mother is so good families and elders complain when they are not routed on her daily rota haha

    You will find it is challegning but rewarding working for and caring for the elderly, I wish you all the best @BabyDollAnne ! <3 If you ever needs tips on how to apply or interview tips I can always get some from my mother and friend and pass them on to you!
  • DerubelleDerubelle Posts: 638 Member
    Sits on the bench

    Uhh where even to begin? I feel like I need to do this in bullet points.
    • First of all, I don't like complaining when I feel like my problems pale in comparison to other people's hardships
    • But I realize I must if only to justify myself in writing
    • I absolutely LOVE the story I am writing, and it seems as odd as it may sound that I love it more and more when I am not writing it
    • Why? Because I feel like I am not doing it justice...
    • Then again, I am having quite a stressful situation at home: currently living at my partner's parents/it was supposed to be temporary but after i found a job my partner lost his then he got one and moving has been taking too long
    • the reason for it being stressful is because me and my partner enjoy our alone time and I don't feel at home here
    • they are good people but I always feel like I need to retreat in the tiny bedroom I share with him to feel at home
    • it makes me feel plum and wrong
    • it affects my mood, my work and everything
    • ABOUT MY STORY: I know I want to keep on writing because I already have planned ahead and have so many future chapters already written and planned (in my head) but it's hard to find the will the write and I think that's because I don't have my own cozy little corner to retreat to and delve into my hobby
    • PLUS my laptop is slowly but surely dying and even my partner's gaming laptop blue screens sometimes. He doesn't mind me using it for my screenshot but it's hard to find the time when he doesn't use it as he is a gamer

    All in all I feel a bit deflated and don't have the air to pump myself back up :(
  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    @Derubelle Hi! :)

    It sounds like you're going through a time of transition. For me as a writer, whenever I've been moving a lot or feeling that important parts of my living situation were unsettled, it's been hard to write. I seem to need to have a relatively boring, settled, drama-free life in order to be really creative with my writing! When the emotions get intense or when life gets unsettled, then it feels hard for me to direct my creative energy to writing.

    So, if you need to take a little break while things even out and you and your partner move into the next thing, that's fine. Your story will still be there!

    Also, since my life was very unsettled until I was about 37 (I counted once, and my partner and I moved over 35 times through 7 cities and three states from the time I was 20 until 37!), I have figured out a few strategies that allow me to do some creative work while living through transitions. Maybe you can adapt some of these strategies for yourself!

    1. Write in notebooks. Later when you get time or the right environment, you'll be able to use what you've written in notebooks in the next drafts.
    2. Find a library, bookstore, or cafe where you can write. When we were moving a lot (like every 3 months) in Seattle, we had our regular cafes that we'd always go to every morning and weekend afternoon. So even though we might switch our living situation often, the cafes were places of familiarity where we could go to relax. Jim would play chess, and I would draw or write. It let us both be creative while the rest of our lives swirled around us.
    3. Maybe you can find a library or computer lab at a community college! Then, you could upload the screenshots to Wordpress from home, but write at the library, where you could create your own space around you.
    4. Realize that it's temporary and it will change. Sometimes, we can discover ways to enjoy even unsettled situations when we realize they won't last forever. It helps us appreciate the little things in the transitionary situation, like a rose bush in the garden, or favorite neighborhood walk.

    I also think that your story is becoming richer and even more developed, as you're able to live with it through time, so when you return to it, you'll have so much to draw from!
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • DerubelleDerubelle Posts: 638 Member
    CathyTea wrote: »
    @Derubelle Hi! :)

    It sounds like you're going through a time of transition[....] I also think that your story is becoming richer and even more developed, as you're able to live with it through time, so when you return to it, you'll have so much to draw from!

    Thank you for the advice that actually does make me feel better! At present I won't be able to use any of the good tips and tricks you've described simply because I live quite far away from time and work 9-5.30 pm daily so its hard to find time to go to cafes but I will try to be more lenient with myself and tell myself I will eventually be done with moving.

    And omg that it quite a few times you have moved in such a short time. If you don't mind me asking how come you moved so much? :smile:
  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    Derubelle wrote: »
    CathyTea wrote: »
    @Derubelle Hi! :)

    It sounds like you're going through a time of transition[....] I also think that your story is becoming richer and even more developed, as you're able to live with it through time, so when you return to it, you'll have so much to draw from!

    Thank you for the advice that actually does make me feel better! At present I won't be able to use any of the good tips and tricks you've described simply because I live quite far away from time and work 9-5.30 pm daily so its hard to find time to go to cafes but I will try to be more lenient with myself and tell myself I will eventually be done with moving.

    And omg that it quite a few times you have moved in such a short time. If you don't mind me asking how come you moved so much? :smile:

    I have no idea! Man! We were nuts! We were renting, and sometimes the rent would be raised, so we'd find someplace else. Sometimes, we'd find a better apartment, closer to work or in a favorite neighborhood. Sometimes, our neighbors were too noisy. Some of the time, we were moving to a new city (for jobs/school/etc) but even within a town, the longest we stayed in any one home was two years! That was until 1999, when I bought our current home, and we've been here ever since! For me, as a Cancer, setting down roots is like heaven!
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • DreamsInPixelsDreamsInPixels Posts: 4,469 Member
    I'm feeling a little wilty right now. I was going to start my story tonight...but now I might have to scrap it altogether. A mod (additional hosts at restaurants) corrupted my save upon removing it. When you remove it, you can't hire hosts anymore and there are no hosts at restaurants...
    I'm wilty because I spent hours in game after I installed it -- building, fixing family trees, setting up my story...and it's all time wasted. I have no backup save, or rollback that I can go to without losing almost 15 hours of work.

    So I have to choose to let the story and the save go, or save everything to the library and start a new save and hope it can be salvaged.
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    Patronus: Dolphin
  • Rainydayz179Rainydayz179 Posts: 4,003 Member
    I'm feeling a little wilty right now. I was going to start my story tonight...but now I might have to scrap it altogether. A mod (additional hosts at restaurants) corrupted my save upon removing it. When you remove it, you can't hire hosts anymore and there are no hosts at restaurants...
    I'm wilty because I spent hours in game after I installed it -- building, fixing family trees, setting up my story...and it's all time wasted. I have no backup save, or rollback that I can go to without losing almost 15 hours of work.

    So I have to choose to let the story and the save go, or save everything to the library and start a new save and hope it can be salvaged.

    Personally, I'd save everything to the library. You put all that work into it already.

    I had to do this with my drifter challenge today. Something broke my save and the hermit wouldn't show up. I had to save my builds, my sims and drag everything from my main sim's inventory (around 200 items) onto the lawn before I put the house on the library. All for 5 minutes of befriending the hermit. :/
  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    I'm feeling a little wilty right now. I was going to start my story tonight...but now I might have to scrap it altogether. A mod (additional hosts at restaurants) corrupted my save upon removing it. When you remove it, you can't hire hosts anymore and there are no hosts at restaurants...
    I'm wilty because I spent hours in game after I installed it -- building, fixing family trees, setting up my story...and it's all time wasted. I have no backup save, or rollback that I can go to without losing almost 15 hours of work.

    So I have to choose to let the story and the save go, or save everything to the library and start a new save and hope it can be salvaged.

    Oh, phooey. That's such a sad feeling.

    I like the idea of saving everything to the library and starting a new save.

    I wonder if any other users of that mod might be able to offer suggestions, too.

    When that type of thing happens to me, I usually feel better once I step away and do something else that's fun for a while. Then when I come back, I'm able to get over all that time I invested setting it up the first time.

    Good luck!
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • DreamsInPixelsDreamsInPixels Posts: 4,469 Member
    Thank you for your input @Rainydayz179 . And thank you @CathyTea -- stepping away for a few made me calm down and actually think about the situation. I looked up the "fixes" and the only one is to keep the mod installed until the mod creator fixes it. But I'm not going to do that...I almost did, but then I thought of "what if it never gets fixed...what will happen to future saves?"
    So I'm going to work on salvaging on a fresh save...but after I have some chocolate and wine.

    Tumblr: Stardew and Plumbobs
    Twitter: cxndacemxrie
    ~*-*-*~
    My SimLit:
    NA
    ~*-*-*~
    Hogwarts House: Slytherin | Ilvermorny House: Wampus
    Patronus: Dolphin
  • Rainydayz179Rainydayz179 Posts: 4,003 Member
    @DreamsInPixels Chocolate and wine sound like an excellent idea. Truthfully, after the whole 2+ hour Drifter dibacle today I almost sat on the bench myself.
  • lisabee2lisabee2 Posts: 3,237 Member
    @lovesstorms condolences on your loss!!
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  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,077 Member
    @CathyTea - OMG! I can't imagine moving so often. We moved kinda often when I was younger since we rented and circumstances can change just like That. Then, I had to move in and out of my college dorm. But when I got fully settled into the house once I got done with college, that was the last time I ever had to move. I've been living here with hubby the entire life of my marriage (almost 23 years). We've accumulated SO much stuff that the thought of EVER having to move terrifies me to no end.

    @DreamsInPixels - Ugh on the save. :( Chocolate and wine sounds like a good way to step back for a bit and try to get your mind off it. To me, there's nothing like a nice piece of dark chocolate paired with a great red wine. Mmmmm Mmmm. :)

    @Rainydayz179 - And here, S4 was supposed to be glitch free. Of course, when you're dealing with mods, sometimes all bets are off. Sorry to hear you had to redo the save for your drifter challenge. I hope it's better now and you can continue without a hitch. :)

    36314395402_b6f8316264_z.jpg]
    Simming With Sweet Nightingale. Short stories, pen pal letters, and longer works.
  • Rainydayz179Rainydayz179 Posts: 4,003 Member
    @Rainydayz179 - And here, S4 was supposed to be glitch free. Of course, when you're dealing with mods, sometimes all bets are off. Sorry to hear you had to redo the save for your drifter challenge. I hope it's better now and you can continue without a hitch. :)

    I've been having tons of problems lately. In almost every save. If I knew for a fact it was mods causing them I might, and that's a big might, consider taking them out but I've seen people with vanilla games complaining of similar issues.
  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,077 Member
    @Rainydayz179 - Yeah, I can relate. It just seems no matter what, the words "Sims" and "glitches" are synonymous. I wish it weren't, but sadly, it is. :(
    36314395402_b6f8316264_z.jpg]
    Simming With Sweet Nightingale. Short stories, pen pal letters, and longer works.
  • mastressalitamastressalita Posts: 2,874 Member
    Everyone please send some hugs to @Darra84 . She's having some major issues with her YouTube channel and could really use some love and support!

    *sends hugs*
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  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    Major hugs to @Darra84 ! And if you need any help researching fixes or anything, please let us know!
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,077 Member
    Big hugs to @Darra84 . So not fun to have such issues and I am truly sorry you're having to go through this. :(
    36314395402_b6f8316264_z.jpg]
    Simming With Sweet Nightingale. Short stories, pen pal letters, and longer works.
  • rednenemonrednenemon Posts: 3,108 Member
    Sorry for encroaching upon the current issue (hugs to you, @Darra84 !), but if I don't vent now, I might not going to get a chance later.

    Anywho, best I try to find the best way to put this (I don't talk much about my real life, since I figure no one would want to listen), so here goes: (under spoiler)
    Lately, I've been overrun with appointment after appointment (doctor's visits, lawyer visits, etc). Supposedly, it's all to help me function in the real world.

    It is not helping. The whole process, coupled with my constantly changing work schedule (and a recent overhaul of a workload), well, it's really putting a strain on me.

    Maybe I could be able to handle all this, were it not for my controlling mother who's been hounding me every opportunity she gets!

    I'm just so tired. All I want is for this demanding schedule to let up. I want my mother to get off my back once in a while.

    But I know that's not going to happen anytime soon. Just realizing that is putting me on the verge of tears/anger/losing it. And there's really nothing I can do about it.

    Sorry if I sounded selfish/annoying in this. I just needed to get this off my chest.
    AO3: Silver_Shortage_in_Markarth <(Where I'm usually at nowadays)
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  • TheoriesOfHappinessTheoriesOfHappiness Posts: 1,126 Member
    @rednenemon
    hey there! i can really empathize with how you're feeling right now; i struggle with a pretty severe mental illness and i recently became basically immobile due to some nerve damage in my leg. between doctor's appointments, caring for my mental health, and senses of self worth, i can understand how everything can become overwhelming that is currently happening in your life right now. i'm truly sorry that you're going through what you're experiencing right now, and i wish i had some sort of world shifting advice that could make it all work out in the best at the end.

    i'm not sure if you are close to your mother at all, but if you are it may be a good idea to be assertive and express to her that you need some space until the strain surrounding your personal life has lightened up a bit. my own mother normally won't respect when i say i need space, and normally what i have to do is simply refuse to answer her phone calls or messages until i feel like i am able to handle it again. i know not everyone can do that with their parent, sometimes it's really hard to get away from them without them making you feel like a monster for needing to breathe, and just keep in mind that you do matter and that you have every right to breathe without hands around your neck just as much as the next person.

    not entirely sure if this is what you needed to hear, or if any of the small advice i gave could help you, but i hope this at least made you feel like you were being heard. (:
  • CathyTeaCathyTea Posts: 22,670 Member
    Big hugs, @rednenemon . I know you mentioned that you wanted to vent. I'm listening with a sympathetic ear.

    When you're at a time when you're interested in exploring mini-tools for coping with these frustrations, let me know. I'll be happy to share a few ideas.
    Cathy Tea's SimLit Anthology

    Dragon Name: Hywicoes | House: Ravenclaw | Wand: Dogwood, Unicorn hair 11 ¼" , Suprisingly Swishy
  • sweetnightingalesweetnightingale Posts: 2,077 Member
    @rednenemon - I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. Sometimes you just have to vent and get it out or go crazy.

    I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. I can only imagine the frustration you're feeling. I have a good listening ear though and will keep you and your situation in my good thoughts. (((Hugs)))
    36314395402_b6f8316264_z.jpg]
    Simming With Sweet Nightingale. Short stories, pen pal letters, and longer works.
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